some of this burns so bad

100 Tips for the Secret Witch! 

  1. Use a shoe box to hide your more obvious items.
  2. Keep herbs stored in ziploc bags to easily conceal them.
  3. Take up “rock collecting”.
  4. Candles and incense because they “smell good!”
  5. Use an Altoids tin as an altar.
  6. Buy crystal jewelry.
  7. Use perfume to cleanse.
  8. Essential oils can be used in place of most herbs and are less obvious.
  9. Get into cooking, buying herbs is justified then. Plus, kitchen magic!
  10. Use old makeup/perfume/mason jars for spell jars.
  11. You can use almost any necklace as a pendulum.
  12. Use spice jars for tiny spell bottles.
  13. Put an altar in a spare drawer.
  14. Playing cards can be used in place of tarot cards and are very common.
  15. There are a lot of virtual apps geared towards witches that are easily hidden.
  16. You can put sigils, tiny crystals, among other things in lockets to hide them but be able to wear them.
  17. Farmer’s almanacs are just as good as the witch geared ones if you add some information to them, and they are more mundane.
  18. Acorn caps make good biodegradable offering cups.
  19. Get into crafts! You can make some really cool witch stuff that can also just be taken as “artsy”.
  20. Taking a few pinches from your parent’s kitchen cabinets is never a bad idea . Unless caught.
  21. Store things in big, boring looking books.
  22. Seashells and rocks with natural holes make great windchime elements.
  23. You can say your bos/grimoire is a dream journal, which are fairly common and not suspicious.
  24. Draw sigils on with lotion or washable marker.
  25. A tea bag in your clothing drawer can help imbue clothing with the attributes of the tea you use.
  26. Draw sigils on the bottom of your shoes.
  27. Make a virtual altar instead of a physical one.
  28. Always remember to clear that browsing history!
  29. Draw small sigils on your nails then cover them with nailpolish.
  30. Pretty much everything at a craft store can be used for witchcraft. Except maybe the older people who shop there.
  31. You can buy really really small jars online and make them traveling spell jars.
  32. You can enchant jewelry to keep spells close to you.
  33. You can make friendship bracelets/lanyards with colors corresponding to your intent.
  34. Enchanting something you wear daily like glasses or shoes with a ward is something that could be done if one doesn’t wear jewelry.
  35. If you’re into sewing/cross-stitching: incorporate secret sigils into the design.
  36. You can grow plant ingredients under the guise of eating healthier.
  37. Buy soap/shampoo etc with scents to match different intents.
  38. Pencil cases are inconspicuous!
  39. You can use birthday candles instead of actual candles.
  40. Obtaining scented candles a covert way of having colored candles… and if you want scentless you can just say you like the aesthetic but not the smell.
  41. Bath salts can have magical intent and be just as effective as a for bath.
  42. Doodling is a great way to cover up sigils in a notebook.
  43. Grow plants. Collect rainwater. Say rainwater is for plants. Cackle to self.
  44. Make a private discord server for taking to deities.
  45. Threads that hang off of clothing or coats are good for thread magic so long as you don’t have to do a ton with them.
  46. Cleaning and cleansing go hand in hand.
  47. Virtual or sketched altar.
  48. Usually the isle that carries Ethnic food carries SUPER cheap herbs.
  49. All astrology is just you getting really into horoscopes.
  50. If you want a more accurate birth chart, ask your parents for your time of birth. Say it’s out of curiosity.
  51. Weird witch stuff lying around? You like the aesthetic from Charmed.
  52. Sigils don’t have to be considered witchcraft. Say they’re like a good luck charm.
  53. Make your own jewelry, beads, gems,threads, color correlation, etc.
  54. Pinterest boards are great for various things. Dedicating things to deities, saving spells, etc.
  55. Stuffed animals as representations of deities.
  56. Thread magic = sewing and crocheting.
  57. Side blogs on Tumblr are similar to pinterest boards!
  58. Sigils on the bottom of hair spray cans for glamours.
  59. Nail Polish = color correlation.
  60. Quote: “My room smells weird so that’s why I’m burning like 100 candles and some incense”. Works every time.
  61. You can make your own tarot cards with inconspicuous symbols and photos on them, say they’re drawings.
  62. Fairy lights in your room because they “look cool”.
  63. Put your bos in something that looks like a school notebook.
  64. Leave offerings outside if safe. Bury them! But don’t bury things that are bad for the enviroment!!!
  65. If you want to use a ouija board, there are quite a few virtual ones.
  66. Any herbs you can get be purely for tea and nothing else.
  67. If someone catches you meditating, tell them it’s for relaxation.
  68. Draw sigils on the top of your ceiling fan. The fan will charge them while on! - Not recommended you do with a permanent marker!
  69. Draw a sigil on the charger base of your electronic devices.
  70. Charge your makeup/hair products/perfume/cologne up with whatever you’d like.
  71. Lemon water makes a great cleansing spray and is usually not suspicious.
  72. Sigils inside your phone case!
  73. Enchant your jewelry or watches.
  74. Draw a sigil with a white crayon on paper.
  75. Put a pouch of herbs in your clothing drawers, if someone finds them, say it’s to decrease bad smells.
  76. Incorporate magic into art.
  77. Write poetry to your deities.
  78. Study herb pouch and gemstones in your backpack.
  79. Oils and herb pillow for your glasses case to encourage clear vision.
  80. Make your own paper and use flowers/seeds/etc to create a design.
  81. Sticky notes for sigils inside a school locker.
  82. Correlate your clothing to your intent that day.
  83. Sigils on a hair ribbon or enchanted ribbon.
  84. Put your intent into your food and drinks.
  85. Learn to make your own tea.
  86. Keep a penny in your pocket for luck.
  87. Google drive vs physical bos if you’re worried about your parents seeing it
  88. Slowly start buying candles and bam you wont be questioned because they are just candles!
  89. Craft store stars painted with black-light paint placed on your ceiling in constellation arrangements.
  90. Drink fruit infused water/tea.
  91. Carry salt in old film bottles or similar cases to help cleanse your purse or bag.
  92. Salt packets are free at fast food places.
  93. Enchant your bank account/wallet/piggy bank/etc so that it charges your money!
  94. Use travel size medicine bottles to hold random mini witch things: twig,  pebbles, sand, salt, etc. 
  95. Draw elemental items to encourage their energies around you.
  96. Leave sticky notes with magical symbols on your desk or in your locker to generate positive energy for the next school day overnight.
  97.  Terrariums and shadowboxes have always been popular, make it your altar or invitation to the fae.
  98. Fairy gardens have been a thing for a long, long time. They’re not suspicious and very good for attracting the fae!
  99. Enchant counter bowls of fruit or breads so that the food decays slower.
  100. Remember that no matter what, whether you can openly practice or not, that you are just as valid of a witch!  

It needs to be canon in superhero universes that schools and colleges have stopped caring about world ending disasters. Like yeah the avengers tore up Manhattan but you’ve known about this assignment for weeks so it still needs to be in on time. The internet is down cause joker decided to pull a massive heist? Oh to bad, that online discussion board post needs to be up. Like obviously if you’re in the hospital or there’s a family emergency cause of it you’ll get some slack but you’re gonna have to jump through so many hoops that it’s better to just abandon that loved one to make it in time for the biology final. You’re dorm or apartment burned down in the crossfire of loki and iron man? Guess who’s sleeping at their friend’s house or in the commuter lounge?

🥐Ways to Celebrate Mabon🍂

Mabon is the second harvest festival in the Wheel of the Year that is celebrated on the autumnal equinox. 

Originally posted by sweet-cider

🍎Make apples into bowls! Carve out an apple so that the filling is gone and all that is left is a thick bowl-shaped apple shell. You can put small plants in these, offerings to spirits or deities, or you can place a candle inside. Put it on an altar or windowsill and it’s complete!
🍎Donate food! If you have food to spare, donate some to a local food pantry. Also, if you have pet food or toys to spare, donate to those to a local animal shelter! Mabon is a great holiday to give back and donating what you can is a wonderful way to celebrate the equinox!
🍎Burn bad habits! Literally. If you have a fireplace or somewhere where you can safely burn things, write down your bad habits and throw them in the fire. Then write down good habits you wish to have and hang it near the fireplace or on the fridge if you don’t have a fireplace. This season is all about change, so burn away the bad and work towards positive change!
🍎Spend time with friends and family! Surround yourself with good company and have a fun time! You can visit an apple orchard, watch a movie and eat sweet treats, spend time in the living room together, enjoy a meal with each other, and more.
🍎Bake and share! Apples are an ideal ingredient for homemade goods this time of year. Share your homemade treats with friends, family, or share them with a deity or spirit as an offering. Not only will you get to enjoy your goodies, but your loved ones will, too!
🍎Visit the deceased. Gather some fallen leaves (or flowers if you prefer), acorns, and pine cones and adorn the deceased’s grave with them. You can also light a candle for them and pray or talk to them. Take time to remember them on this holiday.
🍎Harvest and take care of your plants! Gather your herbs or take extra special care of your plants. You can use your harvested materials right away, dry them out, and/or store them away for later use! If your plant is not ready to be harvested, treat it to some new soil or fresh water!
🍎Make or buy wine! Unless you’re underage or an alcoholic. Otherwise, get or make some wine and celebrate! Who doesn’t like to get a little drunk on holidays?
🍎Take time to bask in nature! Winter is coming soon and those walks in the park won’t be as pleasant. Spend some time in the woods, an apple orchard, a lake, or just in your backyard and embrace what nature has to offer!
🍎Meditate or do some spells for balance! Mabon is an ideal time to perform spells that help balance your life. You can also meditate to relieve stress or whatever it is you like to do to relieve stress. Take time to relax and take care of yourself this holiday!

  • brain: hey, hey friend, it looks like youve started to commit to some long-term goals
  • me: yes i am working towards a happy future
  • brain: feels bad, doesnt it
  • me:
  • brain: feels like responsibility
  • me: please-
  • brain: feels like we should destroy all our progress and run away to a new life in the woods
  • me: (softly) please
  • brain: *already burning bridges* cant hear you mate
The Dos and Don’ts of Beginning a Novel:  An Illustrated Guide

I’ve had a lot of asks lately for how to begin a book (or how not to), so here’s a post on my general rules of thumb for story openers and first chapters!  

Please note, these are incredibly broad generalizations;  if you think an opener is right for you, and your beta readers like it, there’s a good chance it’s A-OK.  When it comes to writing, one size does not fit all.  (Also note that this is for serious writers who are interested in improving their craft and/or professional publication, so kindly refrain from the obligatory handful of comments saying “umm, screw this, write however you want!!”)

So without further ado, let’s jump into it!

Don’t: 

1.  Open with a dream. 

“Just when Mary Sue was sure she’d disappear down the gullet of the monstrous, winged pig, she woke up bathed in sweat in her own bedroom.”

What?  So that entire winged pig confrontation took place in a dream and amounts to nothing?  I feel so cheated! 

Okay, not too many people open their novels with monstrous swine, but you get the idea:  false openings of any kind tend to make the reader feel as though you’ve wasted their time, and don’t usually jump into more meaty action of the story quickly enough.  It makes your opening feel lethargic and can leave your audience yawning.

Speaking of… 

2.  Open with a character waking up.  

This feels familiar to most of us, but unless your character is waking up to a zombie attack or an alien invasion, it’s generally a pretty easy recipe to get your story to drag.

No one picks a book to hear how your character brushes their teeth in the morning or what they’d like to have for dinner.  As a general rule of thumb, we read to explore things we wouldn’t otherwise get to experience.  And cussing out the alarm clock is not one of them.  

Granted, there are exceptions if your writing is exceptionally engaging, but in most cases it just sets a slow pace that will bore you and your reader to death and probably cause you to lose interest in your book within the first ten pages.  

3.  Bombard with exposition.  

Literary characters aren’t DeviantArt OCs.  And the best way to convey a character is not, in my experience, to devote the first ten pages to describing their physical appearance, personality, and backstory.  Develop your characters, and make sure their fully fleshed out – my tips on how to do so here – but you don’t need to dump all that on the reader before they have any reason to care about them.  Let the reader get to know the character gradually, learn about them, and fall in love with them as they would a person:  a little bit at a time.   

This is iffy when world building is involved, but even then it works best when the delivery feels organic and in tune with the book’s overall tone.  Think the opening of the Hobbit or Good Omens.

4.  Take yourself too seriously.

Your opener (and your novel in general) doesn’t need to be intellectually pretentious, nor is intellectual pretense the hallmark of good literature.  Good literature is, generally speaking, engaging, well-written, and enjoyable.  That’s it.  

So don’t concern yourself with creating a poetic masterpiece of an opening line/first chapter.  Just make one that’s – you guessed it – engaging, well-written, and enjoyable. 

5.  Be unintentionally hilarious.

Utilizing humor in your opening line is awesome, but check yourself to make sure your readers aren’t laughing for all the wrong reasons (this is another reason why betas are important.)  

These examples of the worst opening lines in published literature will show you what I mean – and possibly serve as a pleasant confidence booster as well: 

“As the dark and mysterious stranger approached, Angela bit her lip anxiously, hoping with every nerve, cell, and fiber of her being that this would be the one man who would understand – who would take her away from all this – and who would not just squeeze her boob and make a loud honking noise, as all the others had.”

– Ali Kawashima

“She sipped her latte gracefully, unaware of the milk foam droplets building on her mustache, which was not the peachy-fine baby fuzz that Nordic girls might have, but a really dense, dark, hirsute lip-lining row of fur common to southern Mediterranean ladies nearing menopause, and winked at the obviously charmed Spaniard at the next table.”

– Jeanne Villa

“As I gardened, gazing towards the autumnal sky, I longed to run my finger through the trail of mucus left by a single speckled slug – innocuously thrusting past my rhododendrons – and in feeling that warm slime, be swept back to planet Alderon, back into the tentacles of the alien who loved me.”

– Mary E. Patrick

“Before they met, his heart was a frozen block of ice, scarred by the skate blades of broken relationships, then she came along and like a beautiful Zamboni flooded his heart with warmth, scraped away the ugly slushy bits, and dumped them in the empty parking lot of his soul.”

– Howie McClennon

If these can get published, so can you.

Do:

1.  You know that one really interesting scene you’re itching to write?  Start with that.

Momentum is an important thing in storytelling.  If you set a fast, infectious beat, you and your reader will be itching to dance along with it.  

Similarly, slow, drowsy openers tend to lead to slow, drowsy stories that will put you both to sleep.

I see a lot of posts joking about “that awkward moment when you sit down to write but don’t know how to get to that one scene you actually wanted to write about.”  Write that scene!  If it’s at all possible, start off with it.  If not, there are still ways you can build your story around the scenes you actually want to write.

Keep in mind:  if you’re bored, your reader will almost certainly be bored as well.  So write what you want to write.  Write what makes you excited.  Don’t hold off until later, when it “really gets good.”  Odds are, the reader will not wait around that long, and you’re way more likely to become disillusioned with your story and quit.  If a scene is dragging, cut it out.  Burn bridges, find a way around.  Live, dammit. 

2.  Engage the reader.

There are several ways to go about this.  You can use wit and levity, you can present a question, and you can immerse the reader into the world you’ve created.  Just remember to do so with subtlety, and don’t try too hard;  believe me, it shows.  

Here are some of my personal favorite examples of engaging opening lines: 

“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." 

– Douglas Adams, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

"It was the day my grandmother exploded.”

– Iain Banks, Crow Road.

“A white Pomeranian named Fluffy flew out of the a fifth-floor window in Panna, which was a grand-new building with the painter’s scaffolding still around it. Fluffy screamed.”

– Vikram Chandra, Sacred Games.

See what I’m saying?  They pull you in and do not let go.

3.  Introduce us to a main character (but do it right.)

“Shadow had done three years in prison. He was big enough and looked don’t-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time. So he kept himself in shape, and taught himself coin tricks, and thought a lot about how much he loved his wife.”

– Neil Gaiman, American Gods.

This is one of my favorite literary openings of all time, because right off the bat we know almost everything we need to know about Shadow’s character (i.e. that he’s rugged, pragmatic, and loving.)   

Also note that it doesn’t tell us everything about Shadow:  it presents questions that make us want to read more.  How did Shadow get into prison?  When will he get out?  Will he reunite with his wife?  There’s also more details about Shadow slowly sprinkled in throughout the book, about his past, personality, and physical appearance.  This makes him feel more real and rounded as a character, and doesn’t pull the reader out of the story.

Obviously, I’m not saying you should rip off American Gods.  You don’t even need to include a hooker eating a guy with her cooch if you don’t want to.  

But this, and other successful openers, will give you just enough information about the main character to get the story started;  rarely any good comes from infodumping, and allowing your reader to get to know your character gradually will make them feel more real.   

4.  Learn from the greats.

My list of my favorite opening lines (and why I love them) is right here.

5.  Keep moving.  

The toughest part of being a writer is that it’s a rare and glorious occasion when you’re actually satisfied with something you write.  And to add another layer of complication, what you like best probably won’t be what your readers will like best. 

If you refuse to keep moving until you have the perfect first chapter, you will never write anything beyond your first chapter.  

Set a plan, and stick to it:  having a daily/weekly word or page goal can be extremely helpful, especially when you’re starting out.  Plotting is a lifesaver (some of my favorite posts on how to do so here, here, and here.)

Keep writing, keep moving, and rewrite later.  If you stay in one place for too long, you’ll never keep going. 

Best of luck, and happy writing.  <3

Yeyé’s Little Handbook For The Everyday Witchling

Today: Peppers and allspice, when to use each kind

Sunday is when Yeyé visits! Several people asked for more advice, and she was delighted to share her knowledge. Yeye’s health hasn’t been great, and she’s been feeling terribly bored since she can’t walk so much anymore. So getting the chance to write her spells and advice has given her a fun project to work on while she’s bedridden. Thank you all for taking interest! When she saw all those notes in the post of her advice she blushed and got all flustered. It was so cute. We’ll be doing a few weekly specials if it piques people’s interest. Tell us what you think!

So today Yeyé wanted to share with you how we use different kinds of pepper. In Argentina allspice is known as “Jamaican pepper”, so that’s why we’ll be talking about it. I hope you don’t find it too odd lol

I debated with myself whether I should adapt Yeyé’s advice, but I decided to let it as close as possible to her actual words because it would feel wrong to put words in her mouth. However, do remember she’s two/three generations older than most of us here. It means that her practices can sound a little bit archaic (for example for her witchcraft per se was always a women’s art, men are healers, not witches. Also for her “spirit” and “fairy” are synonyms). If you have any questions, we can clarify or provide more info as needed!

Let me translate what she said about peppercorns:

Pepper is a very powerful way to keep away everything we don’t like, to protect, and to spice life up. It’s very interesting, because at the same time it repels bad things, but brings in exciting ones. All kinds of peppers have these two different secrets. It depends on how we combine them with other ingredients what effect we’re gonna make stronger. Pepper keeps away the fairies because it makes them sneeze.

White pepper: is more spicy and stronger. You use white pepper when you want to kick something very bad very far away from your life. And if you want to bring adventure to a very boring life, you use this kind. White pepper protects from the worst dangers. If something really threatening comes, it’ll keep it away. Put a grain of white pepper in each corner of a room to keep Mandinga (an aspect of the devil or also a powerful evil fae in Argentinean folklore) away.

Black pepper: Is the most famous one, right? Green pepper is exactly the same thing. It’s good to banish and to attract things in moderation. Somebody hurt you but you think you’ll be ready to forgive one day? Keep them away for some time with black pepper. Also when your job is boring, a single black pepper grain in your suitcase will make it more exciting. If you’re looking for a new, more fun job, rub a grain against the edges of your curriculum without staining it. Grind black pepper on any kind of food to make yourself stronger and more interesting (that’s a glamour advice, people).

Allspice: this is a very soft kind, and it helps to keep away things that didn’t mean to hurt us but did by accident. For example if you have a fight with your sister, allspice will not let it happen again, but it will not kick her out of your life forever. If you want good spirits to enter your house but bad ones to keep away, you can put allspice in a jar near the window. Bad spirits will munch on it, and since it’s spicy they will run, but good ones are more thoughtful and will only smell it and they can pass. If you are making chocolate cake for the fairies, putting some ground allspice on top of it makes so the bad ones can’t steal it but the good ones can eat.

Pink pepper: this one is the spiciest one. Very hot. You have to be careful or it’ll burn your tongue. Pink pepper is good to keep away bad love. If there is a boy who wants to be your boyfriend and you don’t like him, you keep a grain of pink pepper in your pocket when he comes to talk to you to chase him away. But pink pepper also is really good for when you and your husband are having too much routine and want to change things.

If you want to make a mix of peppers that will keep your life safe but interesting, you can do it like this:

-One part pink pepper

-One part allspice

-Two parts white pepper

-Two parts green pepper

-Five parts black pepper

[She pauses] The parts… should be SMALL.


So that’s about it on pepper. Let us know in the comments or captions if there’s any specific topic you would like to ask Yeyé about next week (I can’t keep track of all the tags, sorry :/ ). We hope this was useful, and she sends a lot of love to all of you! She’s really happy you guys take her advice to heart, and I personally thank all of you for making her feel so loved and welcomed.

We’ll see you soon!

the worst thing about trying to decide to read a fic:

-horrible writing.

-the summary is good but the story is written in a different language or is badly written.

-opening it to find no spaces between the paragraphs.

-both your otp and notp is tagged and you have no clue if you want to take a risk or not.

-tagged major character death and you start sweating.

-hasn’t been updated in 80 years but the summary is on point and their the best fucking writer ever.

-you start reading only to find that the person updates every ten years and you just happened to catch them on a day they finally updated.

-you find a writer and check them out, only to find out they mostly write about your notp - and of course they always update, have perfect writing and have stories that are epic.

-stories with so many fucking tags, you just shake your head and move on.

-the “i suck at summaries please check it out still” and you just, pause because it has your otp and you debate whether or not to take the risk.

-you find a pairing you never considered before and think holy shit, that could be hot and spend all day hunting through the tag.

-you ship a pairing so fucking hard, only to find like two fics and you start weeping.

-when you find a perfect story only to check the tags and see some weird shit that disgusts you and you scream why.

-a fic with good writing and summary but it’s so short or is only fan-art.

-a crossover fic where you have both of your fandoms but don’t have both of otps, just one.

-one shots that are so good you wish they were longer.

-when your notp is tagged but it’s labeled as a past relationship or says your otp is endgame, and you have to go through the notp’s awkward breakup in order for your otp to happen.

-when someone doesn’t tag properly and a plot twist hits you and you want to cry.

-you finally find a great fic that has been updated and the last update says writes block, personal issues- can’t do this, asks for co-writer, discontinues it or says lol i hate how this is turning out, deleting.

-when a writer as twenty stories to update and you cry because you like all of them and you have to wait.

-when you remember a story from like five years ago and you search for it, only to find it’s been deleted or can’t seem to find it anywhere.

-when a writer gives you an update schedule and you’re excited because they follow it but then they start missing it and you just…

-when a writer deletes a story and rewrites the same story but you like the original better.

-when your reading a story about a rare pairing that interests and your otp hate each other or just friends and it’s just so weird to read.

-when one half of your otp is in another relationship and the other half shows up with someone else and then you remember, right i’m not reading a story about my otp so i can’t get mad.

-when your otp is popular but it’s not as popular as another ship in the fandom and you hate how the other ship as so much more stories than your ship.

-when you try to read an ot3 relationship because it has two characters you love but the other character is usually from your notp and you hate when your notp share moments.

-when you beg an author (usually one where they aren’t in the fandom really) to write more stories about your otp and they say maybe and it never happens.

-when the writer literally shits on your favorite character and you can’t go through it anymore.

-when your otp isn’t the main pairing and you don’t really care about the other pairings in the story and skip to your otp parts.

-when a story has a million words and it’s so good and you know that you will spend all day and night reading it until your eyes hurt.

-when a story have 200 parts to it and you lose all hope after a while because the story is dragging.

-when your otp is going through something and so many stories are filled with angst, fluff and hurt that it makes you cry because yup, i need to read about my pain for my otp.

-when the writer refuses to write the smut you been waiting for and your otp is stuck in unresolved tension mode forever.

-when the writer unexpected changes the story’s events and you are disappointed by the direction.

-when you find a great au and the characters are so out of character… it makes you sad.

-when you open a fic only to find you hate the point of view and you scream.

-when you request a prompt and the author writes it but you are disappointed and just smile through the pain.

-when you have such a good idea in your head and you try to write it but it’s so bad that you delete it and cry, hoping someone else writes the brilliant idea that you had.

-when you don’t ship something anymore but see a great plot and you click the story and take a deep breath - because shit is about to go down.

-when you reading a great story but get distracted and skip some parts, shit goes down in between and then you think fuck, and have to start over.

-when it’s tagged “slow burn” and you say i can do this and it’s chapter 30 and my ship still hate each other like what.

-when the author says this is their first time writing smut and you think on god they better do this right - only to find out they writing eight pages on your otp making love. like yes.

-when the smut is so rushed or improper you feel cheated and log off because done. like so done.

-when it’s tagged “everyone lives” and your eyes water because that’s all you ever wanted in life.

-when the author leaves a cliffhanger and says in the author’s note “lol sorry about the cliffhanger, i’ll update soon”. you ain’t sorry, stop lying.

-when you see that the story is complete and do a happy dance, only to realize that it ended badly or the sequel/series hasn’t been updated.

when i was seven the sea-witch cursed me.

she cursed my great-grandfather, actually, who had spat on the hands of the ocean and disrespected the beating heart of the earth - for what else are waves but a pulse - who was silly and violent and who tried to rip from the water what was hers by rights. we were wealthy, before that, a family of merchants. my mother says in her youth she recalls white horses, the gleam of candles, early mornings with bread baked fresh by a horde of servants.

he didn’t ask permission to cross her. that’s what my mother tells me while she spoons porridge with no flavor into the wood of my bowl. he had no faith in superstition, rode with boats that were more decoration than strength, the folly of a man who was cruel and vain and proud of his own gold teeth. the sky had been blue, so regardless of what the village witch said, he would sail that day. and when his boat sank; their lives turned blue like the sky that day.

my mother says she thinks the curse on the men of our family, even if they come in when they marry, is that they will forever be violent, too foolish to see the storm on the horizon. she whispers this to me on the eve of my seventh birthday, while father is his own storm, thundering around the house, looking for her. later, when i am cleaning the cut by her cheek, she tells me the curse is on the women to forever be unhappy, to wane until they are shadows, to walk into the deep like a sinking ship. 

we don’t burn candles often, they are too expensive. she tells me this in the silk of a dark room. the moon kisses her hair. 

in three days, my mother will walk into the ocean, and my father will be my own problem. the curse will pass onto me. 

my father does not believe in superstition, no curse to conquer him. when he is gone, and i am heartbroken, i go to the village witch. i ask her to teach me about magic, and other things, and about how the ocean can be coaxed, and how to save my father’s soul. 

and my hands rot too, keeping a house by myself with things i barely knew. i learn the art of a good scrubbing, keep my mind full of white horses while i endlessly clean, dream of candles in dark while i make the bread that he will not allow me to eat. he keeps me from the ocean, from visiting the place that took my mom, from following in her footsteps where the water makes women undone.

i am sixteen when i see her in the water of a bowl. she scares me so completely that i drop it, and my father comes in with his hands, and the curse, and i almost forget all about it. it isn’t until after that i realize she is beautiful, and young, which surprises me. 

i think about it every evening. her face becomes distorted to me. i can no longer remember the exact shape of it, only the impression of beauty. 

i turn seventeen and wait for the high moon. i pin safety to my vest in little witch herbs and runes. i put naked toes on the sand and slip closer, closer, to the avenue of my family’s doom. i find a little private beach, small and surrounded by rocks, hidden from my father in the event he ever thought to come looking. at high tide, it is barely the span of my body. at low, it feels empty.

the witch of the land has given me what i need to call in the witch of the sea, but i do not use it. it feels wrong, somehow, standing here in the wind and the quiet pulse of the world. i put down the incense and sage and i sit just close enough it feels wild, dangerous - but not close enough to get caught up in thrill. 

when nothing happens, i go home and i make bread that i will not eat.

for months i do this. i climb down to my beach. i learn to do it when the moon is half, and then when the moon is empty. i learn to do it so well that sometimes i go to sleep in my own bed and wake up by the water. i take to sleeping with warding runes to keep me from being pulled in the rip out to the waiting hands of a hungry sea-witch.

i don’t know when i start talking. more often i sing, because singing in my house is not allowed, and something about the way the rocks echo my voice feels comforting. the older i get, the more i can pretend i hear my mother’s voice, answering me, harmonizing gently. i sing songs about sadness and lullabies about curses. when i have exhausted every song i know, i write new ones about fathers who have never learned how to be kind, about the house i work in but do not love, about mothers who left, and about a sea witch.

i see her sometimes. in a puddle, in the drop of rain, in the strangest places. i never expect it, although i always hope. i am never able to see her for more than the length of a wave, breaking, and each time, it does something new to my heart.

at eighteen i am too much of my father’s burden. he tries to unload me onto other men. the land witch helps me with this. i rub hemlock, burn wolfsbane. we arrange so these men have other women to marry. the news of my curse is bad enough to scare most away. my father is not happy.

after a particularly savage night, i wonder how bad it could be. i could marry some boy from the village who didn’t quite bother me. i suppose they’re not ugly. timothy had always been gentle to me. i think about a life, and how i am cursed to be unhappy. my father would finally be proud of me.

i walk to the beach and i tell the waves about him and how i could convince myself it was love if i just never wanted from him. how i could be okay, if not content, how i could be free, how i already had learned life down on knees.

but i go home and i write a rune of warding. and the years pass and i find reasons each suitor is wanting. and the sea witch i see, sometimes, peeking out at me, staying long each time in the water, looking, watching. i see her in mirrors when my father storms against me. it is bad because he mistakes the cause of my smiling. it is better when she is there the next morning.

and i go to the ocean. when i am too sad to speak, it seems like the ocean is whispering for me. i picture my mother’s voice and tell myself i am happy. i am seven again and we are sewing. i am seven again and the curse has not been given to me. i am seven and she came home after she walked to the sea.

i grow silly, brave, unthinking. i leave behind the herbs and i wade deep. i teach myself the art of swimming. i am bad at it, at first, but something about it feels good to me. like the ocean wants to buoy me. in the day i think of it, guilty. what if there was a rip tide, and the water took me? who would care for my father if i stepped off the beach into a long drop? wasn’t i clever enough to know that the ocean is uncaring?

it is not this that does it. i go out after a rain and i slip on the rocks and suddenly i am in water above my head but without the moon i cannot see the up of it. i kick and i thrash and the water surrounds me. the tide pulls on my body and in the cold i feel my body grow weary. water spills into me. it punches through my body, up my nose and into my lungs and some part of me knows this is what mother felt before she was gone.

i kick ground by accident, reorient, drag myself heaving and spitting into the air. i lie there for a long time, half in and half out of death, enjoying the sensation of breathing and of life.

when i look up, i think i see her, watching me, her brows knit with something like worry. but we make eye contact and my heart leaps and then she is gone and i am left alone with nothing but the dawn breaking.

my father is furious when there is no bread. he finds my hair wet, and the salt of the ocean still smelling on me. and that is it. that day he goes out and pays someone to agree to marry me.

this feels right to me, i think. i’m twenty-one, three times seven, a perfect number for a curse to fully come down on me. i will be wed in three weeks.

the land witch comes to visit me. she looks like she’s sorry for me. she gives me a spell and tells me to put it under my pillow; i’ll dream of love and it will soothe me. instead i dream of the seawitch, and how wonderful she is, and the sight of her, out on the water, worried.

even though it is risky, i go down to the beach. i do not bother with protective spells, i have already seen that the water can kill me. fear alone keeps me from wandering. i sit on the beach and in the sand i draw runes for understanding and i make the small magicks i’ve spent years learning and i close my eyes and i ask the ocean “why do you do this to me.”

i fall asleep. i dream that the sea witch talks to me. i dream she is my age, that she is the great-granddaughter of the first to curse my family. i dream she has spent years watching, learning, finding the truth of me. that she just needs to get the courage to come and speak, that she has fallen in love with my singing, that she knows no curse but the one in her heart that brings her back to a human, to a creature of air and not water, to a mistake in the making.

in the dawn i know it is a dream and no more. i make bread. i pour water out before it can make mirrors. i do not look. i do not like the ache that has filled me, as if i’ve been looking for an answer and the answer only leads to longing.

the man i meet - my husband-to-be - is delighted by the house i keep. he believes a woman should keep in her place, and her place should be clean. he hears from neighbors that sometimes i sneak out to the land witch’s house. laughter barks out of him. not going to allow that behavior, not me. he does not believe in curses. he will pack me up and move me from the ocean to somewhere in the mountains, where i know nobody. and i will, he promises, learn to keep my place, and that place clean.

i tell myself i could love him. he is not ugly. he says i’m pretty enough after whiskey. my father mentions i used to sing. i refuse to perform for these men so instead i make them cookies. they laugh and talk about me, even when i am in the room, as if they cannot even see. they shake hands and talk about how useless a woman is for much else than breeding. it’s very funny. the man meets my eyes and promises he’ll put a baby in me. i look down and pretend the thrill i feel is excitement, not fear brewing in me.

the land witch comes by a week before my wedding. she is smaller these days, aging. her apprentice and i get along wonderfully. the two women stand before me, holding something. 

a small box, so tiny and lovely. “break the curse,” the witch whispers, “learn to be happy.”

i smuggle the box, take it everywhere with me. it is days before i have a moment to slip away, to open it by the sea. i take a candle with me, even though my father will notice and be angry.

by the light of fire i read the spell they have left me inside, and then i am so full of gratitude i cannot stop crying.

it must be a full moon, so i must wait. in the meantime, i walk home, and i bake. 

i do not see the seawitch, even though i look for her. maybe i have wounded her, getting married. my father asks why i keep smiling. i tell him it is because i am finally with a man. he grunts and says to stop looking so silly. 

the man kisses me. i let him. we are married on a night with a full moon, and i poison him and my father in the bread i did not eat. i think of how these men were cursed so they could not see a storm coming. i watch them as they lie there, dying, and then i put all of the things i own into a basket for the land witch. i leave it there with a song i wrote for her, a spell i know will make her happy, will stop the aging of her joints, will give her the kind of relief she gave me. 

i go down to the water. i find myself running, even though i am in no hurry. i know the way so well it is like i wake up there, panting. i ask permission first. i lay out the contents of the box, i organize and practice and when the needle and pain comes, i am ready for it. i am used to pain at night. i breathe into it and walk naked into waters that swallowed my mother.

i chew bitter herbs. i swallow fire. i feel myself drown as i change from land witch to sea witch. 

when it is done, i open my eyes in the deep of a moonlit ocean. and i see her. 

this time she does not flicker. this time when i reach for her, she is there, and she is pushing my hair out of my eyes, and we are kissing with the ocean rejoicing around us, and i am laughing, and i hear her voice as clear as bell inside me.

and we live like this, a whole world between us where white horses are the size of pinky fingers and swim with their thin snouts, where i need no candles because i was raised lightless, where we have no servants but the water takes care of us. i show her the magic of land and she unfolds the magic of water. together we are unstoppable. when i come up to the air to sing little girls a promise that they can survive the madness, she sings with me, and we make a beautiful harmony.

“Deep in the ocean, dead and cast away
Where innocence is burned in flames
A million miles from home, I’m walking ahead
I’m frozen to the bones, I am…

A soldier on my own, I don’t know the way
I’m riding up the heights of shame
I’m waiting for the call, the hand on the chest
I’m ready for the fight and fate

-” Iron" by Woodkid

Felt like drawing some dark stuff like the moment “the Champion” was born. I really believe that at some point this happened, as a defensive mechanism.
I hope they don’t do something equally bad to Shiro during the next season or so. He deserves to live and be happy :’(

Prompt List of Sarcasm
  1. “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.” 
  2. “Define normal.” 
  3. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 
  4. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 
  5. “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 
  6. “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 
  7. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 
  8. “And you wonder why you’re still single.” 
  9. “Remind me to kill you. Please.” 
  10. “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.” 
  11. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 
  12. “Were you dropped on your head?” 
  13. “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 
  14. “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 
  15. “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 
  16. “Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 
  17. “If I survive, can I go home?” 
  18. “My middle finger salutes you.” 
  19. “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.” 
  20. “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.” 
  21. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 
  22. “Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.” 
  23. “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 
  24. “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 
  25. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 
  26. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
  27. “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 
  28. “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 
  29. “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 
  30. “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 
  31. “I need therapy after this.” 
  32. “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 
  33. “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.” 
  34. “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 
  35. “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 
  36. “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.” 
  37. “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 
  38. “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 
  39. “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 
  40. “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 
  41. “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 
  42. “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!” 
  43. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 
  44. “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.” 
  45. “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 
  46. “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” 
  47. “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 
  48. “She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 
  49. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 
  50. “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 
  51. “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.” 
  52. “You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.” 
  53. “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.” 
  54. “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 
  55. “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 
  56. “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 
  57. “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.” 
  58. “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” 
  59. “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.” 
  60. “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.” 
  61. “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 
  62. “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.” 
  63. “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 
  64. “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 
  65. “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 
  66. “I like you. You’re different.” 
  67. “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.” 
  68. “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 
  69. “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 
  70. “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 
  71. “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 
  72. “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 
  73. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 
  74. “I care so little, I almost passed out.” 
  75. “Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 
  76. “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” 
  77. “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 
  78. “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 
  79. “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 
  80. “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.” 
  81. “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 
  82. “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.” 
  83. “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.” 
  84. “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 
  85. “Have fun being deal.” “I will.” 
  86. “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 
  87. “It’s called thinking. Go with it.” 
  88. “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.” 
  89. “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 
  90. “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.” 
  91. “The girl is strange no question.” 
  92. “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.” 
  93. “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 
  94. “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.” 
  95. “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”
  96. “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.” 
  97. “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.” 
  98. “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”
  99. “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.” 
  100. “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.” 
  101. “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” 
  102. “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?” 
  103. “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.” 
  104. “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 
  105. “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 
  106. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 
  107. “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” 
  108. “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 
  109. “Such big evil in such a little thing.” 
  110. “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?” 
  111. “What does not kill you will likely try again.” 
  112. “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.” 
  113. “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.” 
  114. “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.” 
  115. “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 
  116. “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”
  117. “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.” 
  118. “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.” 
  119. “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.” 
  120. “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” 

Request [x] Masterlist [x]

[a few of my favourite things] • 28/02/17

In an attempt to stay positive in the midst of some not-so-great times and a bout of exam-period anxiety, I’m channelling my inner Fraulein Maria and reminding myself of my favourite things in the bad times (some of these are more superficial than others - actually never mind, they’re all pretty superficial). These are a few of my favourite things:

  • my phone, which is nice but actually isn’t working at the moment so I can’t use it
  • a half-burned candle that I couldn’t be bothered to light just for a photo (go figure, considering I staged the rest of this photo) but it smells nice and looks nice
  • my watch, which I literally wear everywhere I go
  • my laptop, which I depend on even more than the aforementioned watch
  • a cute pen that has featured in basically every other picture before this
  • a super warm chunky knit cardigan which doubles as an aesthetic throw blanket of sorts (just for the ’gram!)
  • and last but not least, one of my favourite feel-good books because (heaven forbid) it’s one of those fluffy trashy romances - if you look closely (or maybe not because of my terrible phone camera quality) you can read about my #1 fictional crush who I legitimately am in love with. I am in love with him to the point where if he somehow broke the fourth wall and jumped off the pages of this book into real life, I would marry him in an instant.

HOW TO KNOW FAKE METH
BAD QUALITY AND INCUT METH…


as of late there have been numerous questions asking about how to tell if the shit is good , or even real, and how to test it.

First things first, if you have to ask yourself , is this shit anygood after doing some , then it aint .

after a couple of hits out of the glass pipe , you should feel very good and energized, and not having the desire to refill the pipe, good shit will get you busy doing something other than smoking up your sack.

a little good meth goes a long way

if you do some , and you feel more tired than before , then it aint real.


Bleach Test: pour liquid bleach into a glass , a couple of ounces is all you need, drop a small amount of your product into the glass with the bleach in it.

and watch what happens, if its real , the speed will start dancing around, it will dart around for a few seconds, and after a few minutes or less , small oily spots will form on top of the bleach !!! 

if it sinks to the bottom without dart around first, guess what? it aint real.

The smoke test: when blowing out a hit, the smoke should come straight out of your mouth and clouds that are long streams, like a rainbow .

If the smoke exhaled , come out and stays close to you and goes sideways and in circles to the left and right , it is not a good sign.

The nasal test: Real meth will burn your nose when snorted, so much that tears could form in your eyes, some call it the donkey kick, it feels that bad.
which is good!!

no burn or very little burn is a bad sign.

The magnification test: Look at your product under some magnification, it should all look the same as far as color and texture , the shards should be rigid, un-even , rough edges.
the color should be pretty clear or transparent , mostly but not 100% 

Cloudy rocks are another bad sign.

If the edges are smooth and straight kinda uniformed shape , bad sign!!

Meth should not look wet, if it looks wet or kinda oily and easy to break apart, Bad Sign.

The pipe test: if your pookie ( glass pipe ) turns dark inside the bubble after smoking some , Bad

if it just burns away quickly , no good!!!

real meth will re crystalize , quickly and clear or at least white, and it should start forming a pattern of lines, like spokes on a bicycle.

if brown spots form instead of lines, guess what , yep bad.

Real meth will smoke easy, and you cant really fuck it up , on the other hand fake shit will run away from the flame and will be hard to smoke , bad shit will run up the side and wont stay on the bottom of the bubble.

real stuff will stay in one spot .


I hope this helps, a lot of bullshit is being sold as meth, do not fall into this trap, buying it is worse than throwing your money away, it far worse because the effects of smoking fake dope are horrible, it causes depression, fatigue, a feeling of worthlessness, and then you are in a bad funk, worse than you felt prior , becarefull and dont be affraid to tell your conection NO!

thats the only way to keep dealers straight, because time and time again , they will sell you good shit at first, then as you become a loyal customer they will start giving you adulterated shit, and if you dont speak up and complain, they know you dont know good from bad and the shit will always be fucked up from then on.

if you speak up and stop buying their crap, they will come out with the real stuff , I have beenthere

anonymous asked:

could you possibly please rec a couple of your fave fics? ♥️

Ok, so I’m assuming: klance fics? Alright, here we go:

texting fics (I love those kind of fics. They almost always seem to nail characters’ personalities and texting style and are so funny to read. The ones I’ll mention now are my absolute fav from this category):

left on read ✓ by hinatashoyo

Ongoing, funny and although sometimes hits a serious area it’s mostly in a light tone. Pining!Keith.

(For me it’s a big plus, because as you know if you follow me, it’s one of my favourite tropes in Voltron fandom)

little numbers by ashtxns

(I guess you have to be logged in user of AO3 to read that one)

Anyway, ongoing and I suspect it won’t be finished but because of it’s form you don’t get a feeling like you’re left hanging. Super funny. Established klance.

and here comes the blushing groom by hiriki

Completed. Keith and Lance are stucked on a planet which citizens believe they are heroes destined to save them. The thing is they have to get married. Aka: Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Allura and Shiro are texting while Keith.exe stopped working. I don’t remember it very well, but I know I had fun while reading. Also, @xxxkaseixxx recommended it to me, so I already knew it’s a good one before starting.

Legendary Station by BleuSarcelle

Ok, so it’s not really texting fic but it’s a first part of a series where second part is texting fic. You don’t have to read that one to enjoy it’s continuation but I’m strongly reccomending it, because it’s a joy, I remember that one quote (about Keith’s mullet) made me laugh histerically at 3 a.m.

The story is: Voltron is a Radio Station beloging to Allura and her family and: Black, Green, Yellow, Red and Blue are it’s hosts. The station menagers decide that if all radio hosts specialize in certian topics and have already established base of listeners then Station can be even more popular if hosts would be paired with each other. Turns out they were right. Completed.

dance au fics:

i bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

One of the first fics I’ve read in this fandom. I don’t remember it very well but the general impression is that it was quite enjoyable. Except that…pining!lance was…very extremaley thirsty and I’m not very fond of Keith being pictured as some sex object. The fic is well written, it’s not like Keith is dumb but pretty. It’s just when you see him through Lance’s eyes it may be uncomfortable for some people.

Lance, Hunk and Pidge are dancers who strongly admire dancing duo Keith and Shiro. Some stuff happens, Lance goes on dancing camp and guess who’s an instructor? Completed.

Shut Up And Dance With Me by wittyy_name

I’m pretty sure everyone knows this one so I’ll just say it’s pretty great and if you haven’t before you should read this one and also every other fic wrtitten by this author. Ongoing.

I’m Going To Sweep You Off Your Feet   by Adventures_in_Writing

Ongoing. Shiro and Allura are getting married and Keith - as Shiro’s best man - needs to take some dance lesson because it’s important part of a wedding. So he takes them from Allura’s maid of honor - Lance. There is some actual knowledge about dances so it’s cool. Also, Keith’s a florist.

fanatsy kind of fics:

Gate Keeper by MoonlitPaladin (MoonlitStardust)

Scottish folklore, faes, mystery. Lance has a destiny. Really good writing.

Flirting With Death by drippingpen

Now this one is maybe my favourite. It’s hard to decide but there is something about this story that reminds me of a type of books I used to read before discovering fanfiction.

Ongoing. Keith is Grim Reaper. Lance is his first…client?

Of Lions and House Cats  by Ms_Towa

People with super powers are real and known in public because they all belong to Voltron Alliance. Unless they are Galra.

Keith is a superhero. Lance is vigilante that he has to stop. Lance is also a cute boy he has a crush on. Secret identyties. Pining!Keith. Ongoing

coffe shop au (well not exactly but)

Better than coffee by peralta

Also one of the first fics I started reading in this fandom and only recently completed.

Lance is a college student who tries to cut of his addiction to coffee and maybe switch for tea… Keith conviniently is a hot as hell barista in a bubble tea shop. And also college student, double majoring because he’s awesome and perfect and dead inside.

Voltron cafe by PinkHitman

If you know this blog but didn’t read a fic that goes with it, go read it immediately.

It’s kind of like maid/butler cafe where Lance is a butler and his rival from high school his most frequent client. Very very like v e r y pining!Keith. Ongoing.

kind of nsfw/kinky stuff:

Please Drink Resposibly by enjayas

It’s completed and has lots of additional to this au separate fics. All of them great.

Let’s play a game „How much drunk Lance can remember”? Pining!Keith.

Keith is sure that his feelings will forever stay one-sided since Lance is so obviously straight.

Hot singles in your area by rire

Lance calls a girl who gave him her number execpt that she gave him a Sex Line number. Quite cruel, right? But the person on the phone is actually more interesting than that girl anyway, so.

Keith is Sex Line worker, but he’s soo into this that he talks his clients through while solving a sudoku. At least most of them, because one is special. Ongoing, possibly on hiatus.

Crowd Pleaser by WhatTheBodyGraspsNot

Keith gets a job as a bertender and is immediately strongly atrracted to one of club’s dancers: Blue Rider. Too bad Keith’s taken.

This one may be triggering for some people because Keith is in a realtionship with a male OC character who’s manipulative, controlling and once used a violence to make a point.

I put this fic in „kinky” category but it’s actually a very thought out psychological study, excellent writing, some funny scenes too. Ongoing.

College au:

Not That Bad by varelsen

Actually realistic settings. I remember it very fondly. Mutual pining. Completed.

Keith moves in by averagebear

Slow burn torture. Like, really. Agony, but don’t we love it?

Anyway, title kinda tells what it’s about. Hunk decided that Lance as a roommate is too distracing so he moves out but finds Lance a new roommate so he can pay his rent. New roommate turns out to be Keith, Lance’s highschool rival and bisexual awakening. Another one of those where Keith thinks Lance is straight.

Mutual pining. Ongoing.

and for those I don’t really have a category for:

On Thin Ice by Minadora

Keith is a hockey player that needs to practise some grace so he takes ice dancing lessons in Arena where his brother Shiro is an instructor. Keith thinks that Shiro will be his teacher. ha ha. Ha.

Anayway, it’s lovely. Sadly updates are very rare. But the chapters are long so it evens. Ongoing.

Kismet, Kill me by Jessadilla

*sigh* Probably will never be completed and, unfortunetly, it WILL leave you hanging. So keep it in mind if you’ll decide to give it a try.

But I had to put it on a list becacuse it’s one of the first etc etc and there is a sentence that will probably stay with me forever: „Lance is a person of many acqaintances, but very few friends”. And I get it, I so get it. When you’re charismatic you attract people easily. But only some of them will stay with you after knowing you better.

Keith falls in love at first sight but will he still like that charming stranger who’s actually rude, obnoxious and tactless when he’ll spend more time in his company?

….Ongoing. In theory, but it’s been a year so…

Objects in Motion (When Unbalanced) by Mytay

(Actually check out all of this author’s fics!)

This one is about how on every planet that Paladins visit citizens mistake Keith and Lance as a couple. It happens so often that Pidge decides to collect data and analize it from scientfic point of view. Completed.

I hope it was a helpful list~

Edit: I don’t know how could it happen but I forgot to add one more of my most favourite fanfics:

A Commutual Contract by SKayLanphear

Keith witness Lance’s “death” and that experience traumatize him. Later when Lance is A-okay he still needs to check on him and can’t get any sleep due to terrible nightmares. Turns out sleeping near Lance helps him get some rest at night, when he can always make sure his friend’s alive.

Great writing. Interesting study in depression (Lance) and feeling alienated in group (Keith). Ongoing- and I’m personally dying to know what happens next, because resent events sort of left us hanging.

Imagine being friends with Deadpool

> He found you in an alley being bullied by some jerks on your way home after school.

  • Years ago you had a very bad kitchen accident that left you with a burn scar on your left forearm, he felt empathy.
  • He scared them off and walked you home, he bought you an ice cream on the way.
  • They never dared to mess with you again.

> He likes to hang around with you, you laugh at all of his jokes.

> Your relationship is entirely platonic, he’s too old for you anyway.

> You swear a lot, so he doesn’t hold back when you’re around.

  • He still finds you adorable tho.

> You’ve never seen him without the mask, but at least he told you his real name. You are ok with that.

> He taught you how to use a gun, but hopes he will be there the day you encounter true danger.

> Whenever it’s not school night, he’ll climb your window and play videogames or watch any Sharknado movie.

  • Ok maybe on school night too, but the guy forgets about it! Please forgive him.

> When you’re really stressed or anxious (about school, family, friends, etc.) he’ll let you shoot him.

  • You weren’t sure at first, but he encouraged you to, according to him apparently it was something really fun because people kept doing it quite often.
  • You laugh your ass off if you shoot one of his extremities and it grossly has to grow back.

> He teaches you how to drink, he knows he can’t stop you so at least he teaches you how to do it responsibly.

  • Smoking and drugs are a no-no.

> He’s openly pansexual so he’s the perfect partner when you fangirl about a celebrity or a fictional character. He’s there even when you need advice about a crush.

  • The two of you fangirl about Spidey, like A LOT.

> When nobody invited you to prom he took you himself and even dragged Spiderman along. It was the best night of your life.

  • The original plan was to stay at your place and order a pizza, but he knew that in reality you were upset about it.
  • You rented the tuxedo and dress on your way there.
  • In a single phone call he convinced Spidey to go.
  • The three of you were the center of attention.
  • Peter had a lot of fun too, he missed his own prom so this was his second chance.

> On your birthday he took you shopping and then to Disneyland (don’t ask where he got the money from, just enjoy it).

> “Call me onii-chan, (f/n)!” “no, Wade! what does that even mean??” “CALL ME ONII-CHAN!!!”.

(DISCLAIMER: We know in light of recent events the Deadpool fandom is grieving but to cheer things up a little we wrote this headcanon list. R.I.P. SJ Harris. ~Mod Pumpkin & Mod Demon)

9

I was lucky enough to attend the Pacific Rim: Uprising NYCC panel at Madison Square Garden (and sat in the first row ayyy~~) and took a bunch of notes lol. The panel included the director Steven S. DeKnight, and a few members of the main cast including John Boyega, Cailee Spaeny, Scott Eastwood, and Burn Gorman. Here’s my recap:

General Worldbuilding Tidbits

  • Pacific Rim: Uprising is set 10 years in the future after the last film. DeKnight said that they wanted to show a “new generation of Jaeger pilots who have known nothing but chaos.”
  • Previous characters slated to return, as seen by the trailer, include Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), Dr. Hermann Gottlieb (Burn Gorman), and Dr. Newt Geiszler (Charlie Day).
  • The new main “trio” seems to consists of the main lead, Jake Pentecost, and the late son of Stacker Pentecost (John Boyega), Jake’s best friend and Jaeger pilot Nate Lambert (Scott Eastwood), and tech-savvy Amara Namani (Cailee Spaeny). 
  • 10 years later, the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps (PPDC) has come together to work as an international fighting force, with all of humanity working together - i.e. Jaegers are no longer coded by specific country, like the Russian Jaegers, Australian Jaegers, etc. 
  • This also allowed the opportunity to build Jaegers from the ground up, since they were all previously destroyed in the first film. It was jokingly claimed, “we cancelled the apocalypse and then un-cancelled it to make this movie.”
  • DeKnight discussed how  Del Toro originally set the table with Pacific Rim as a “fantastic visual feast,” so the goal with the sequel was to honor the original, but also expand the universe at the same time. 
  • John Boyega claimed that they weren’t trying to “rewrite what Guillermo Del Toro did, but rather to build upon and expand this universe, and where the humans are at now.”
  • Boyega also talked about how he came onto work behind-the-scenes creatively on the film as a producer. He described Pacific Rim as one of the only franchises he’s come across where the fans are hopeful and “sacred science fiction ground." 
  • Going in, Boyega felt like he had the same creative passion as DeKnight. When they met in LA for the first time, they went over the specific Jaegers and basically what Boyega wanted to see after Pacific Rim. He claimed that "I believe this is everything you want Pacific Rim to be." 
  • One of the goals of Pacific Rim: Uprising is to explain exactly what happened 10 years after the first film, but not necessarily be a complete detachment to the origin story. It was highlighted that there are a lot of young teenage characters in the cast and hopefully that’ll be something that new viewers can relate to. 
  • According to DeKnight, one of the overarching themes of Pacific Rim is: "It doesn’t matter who your parents are, the color of your skin, your religion, or sexual orientation, you can make a difference and be a hero. It’s the human inside the Jaegers that makes you super." 
  • Pacific Rim: Uprising was filmed both in Australia and China. The cast pretty much agreed that as a director, DeKnight runs a "relaxed” and “creative” set - it was a tough schedule, but the actors all felt that they could still have creative input.

New Jaegers

  • DeKnight called them all “badass,” with Gipysy Avenger leading the charge.
  1. Gipsy Avenger: Has a lot of upgrades, including a Gravity Sling which allows the Jaeger to reach out and grab buildings, cars, etc. and hurl them directly at the Kaiju.
  2. Bracer Phoenix: This is the brute force Jaeger. One of its special abilities, above many, is the fact that it’s a three-pilot machine. Therefore, the third pilot can drop into the chamber and operate a pair of massive guns called the Vortex Cannon.
  3. Saber Athena: This is the most advanced Jaeger in the fleet that uses Plasma swords. Also described as a “little experimental,”  and “incredibly swift.”
  4. Titan Redeemer: Has a special weapon called the “ball of death,” which is attached to the end of his arm. According to DeKnight, this was “pretty damn cool." 
  5. Guardian Bravo: Is another brute force Jaeger that has a special weapon called the "graphine arc whip." 
  6. Scrapper: Described as a "little guy,” that’s been slapped together. Since in the future, there are a lot of people pilfering and stealing PPCD technology to make their own Jaegers. 
  • During the Q&A, an audience member asked if all the new Jeagers run on analog. DeKnight claimed one Jaeger is built on sticks (lmao), but the general idea is that no EM-powered Kaijus will be able to take down the Jaegers in this film.

Jake Pentecost (John Boyega)

  • Boyega stated that he “loved the first movie and one of the reasons was Idris Elba.” So, he understood the big shoes that he had to fill. Boyega claimed he understood this responsibility, but  "we [the cast] all worked as a unit, and Jake Pentecost doesn’t exist without the other characters. This is also a great ensemble piece.“
  • When the moderator asked if Jake is trying to live up to Sacker’s legacy, Boyega jokingly claimed: "Hell no!” He went to explain that “the greatest heroes don’t accept legendary status. It takes a tussle and a turn and for Jake’s position. Where we find Jake in the beginning of the film is in very different circumstances from his Dad.”
  • Boyega described Jake as a “stealer, a hustler, and lives in half a mansion. He’s really a guy that doesn’t want to live up to the Pentecost name.”
  • Jake is bought back into the PPCD in a very unique way through his connection to Cailee Spaeny’s character Amara. So, Jake is bought into this adventure and decides that he’s gotta “step up,” after realizing that the “Pentecost name still means something to people." 
  • During the Q&A, an audience member asked Boyega what’s the most rewarding part of being a sci-fi icon. He claimed that he doesn’t feel like one, but working on both Pacific: Rim Uprising has been exciting, since it’s allowed him to jump into various elements of sci-fi that he loved growing up.

Nate Lambert (Scott Eastwood)

  • Eastwood described him as a Jaeger pilot who’s one of the best out there. Yet, he’s still "the tip of the spear,” and really nothing without his best friend Jake.
  • Jake and Nate still have issues in this movie to work out from the past, so Eastwood felt that coming back around and dealing with a lost time with these characters was something cool to explore as an actor. 
  • Eastwood also emphasized that while yes, there is plenty of action in the film, it “has a great story first and foremost.”

Amara Namani (Cailee Spaeny)

  • This was Spaeny’s first film that she was ever cast for. So, she was definitely intimidated and a bit terrified, but knew that fans were so supportive of the first film. 
  • Spaeny didn’t actually watch Pacific Rim until she got the audition for the sequel, and really took it upon herself to dive into the universe in order to understand and respect the original film.  
  • In terms of Spaeny’s film experience, there was also diving into tons of stunts and action and lots of skills that she to catch onto , since she was participating in a whole world that’s already been created. 
  • But Spaeny felt that both DeKnight and the cast were very supportive and helpful, whenever she had questions, so it was really easy for her to dive into Cailee’s character. She also bonded with DeKnight since this was the first feature-length, theatrical film that he ever directed. 
  • Spaeny described Amara as very “independent,” and super “badass.” She’s also a tech-savvy person. 
  • For Amara’s backstory, her entire family was killed in the first wave of Kaiju attacks. So, Amara really “takes it upon herself to dive into Jaeger tech and make sure that when Kaiju do come back, she’ll be ready to fight and protect herself." 
  • While Amara’s past is very different from Jake’s, Spaeny claimed that both of them still see a lot of things in similar ways.  

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb (Burn Gorman)

  • Gorman said he was very excited to be back in the sequel, which felt like "being back in the playground.” He also joked, "I’ve been lucky enough with this face that God gave me to play a few jerks on screen,” when an audience member briefly highlighted his past roles on Torchwood, Revenge, Game of Thrones, and The Dark Knight Rises. 
  • Gottlieb still has problems with personal hygiene. Gorman claimed, “let’s just say that he hasn’t changed his socks since the last film." 
  • In comparison to Charlie Day’s character (Dr. Newt Geiszler) who has moved onto the private sector, Gottlieb chose to stay behind with the PPCD and arguably their most important scientist at the highest level at this point. So, Gorman joked that Gottlieb now, in effect, has a "really great budget,” to work with now. 
  • However, DeKnight makes it clear that where we find Gottlieb is: “as a man still very much affected in what happened in the previous film in terms of his drift and communication with the Kaiju.

There was a brief Q&A and the last question really stuck out to me, where an audience member asked each cast member to sum up their Pacific: Rim Uprising experience in one word:

  • John Boyega: Unity
  • Cailee Spaeny: Life-Changing
  • Scott Eastwood: International
  • Steve S. DeKnight: Mind-blowing
2

A/N: A rather short idea I couldn’t get out of my mind. Writing Imagines during university classes is apparently becoming a habit.

Words: 905
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THOR: RAGNAROK, violence

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Oh Sehun//Love Thy Neighbor

Originally posted by wooyoung

Summary: You move into a new apartment after your boyfriend leaves to go abroad, making your relationship long distance. You’re tired, stressed and missing him - and your next door neighbor isn’t making life any easier. (Part 1/Part 2)
Scenario: neighbor!AU, slightly angsty
Word Count: 3,712

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it’s already starting to get uncomfortably warm where I live, so here are some hot weather survival tips to help y’all keep looking effortlessly flawless even when your face feels like it’s melting off
  • You want sweatproof foundation? Add a primer and a setting spray to your makeup routine. e.l.f. has pretty decent ones for really great prices (the primer is like $3-5 depending on the store you go to, and the setting spray is like $3-7), and they’re cruelty-free!
  • You wanna wear a skirt/dress, but your thighs are all chafe-y? Rub some deodorant on the inside of your thighs to help eliminate friction. It may sound weird but it really does help.
  • If you live somewhere that has really humid summers, you can keep your hair from getting too crazy frizzy by using a serum (I use Designline’s Silk Drops, but that one’s a little pricey – OGX has a good one that’s way cheaper and smells like coconut). Squeeze a dime-sized amount into your hand, rub your fingers together, and run it through the length of your hair. If you want to go a step further, you can spray some hairspray into your hand, rub your hands together, and then run your hands over your hair to smooth it down. 
  • BB cream is generally lighter and less cake-y than foundation, and in hot weather it’s less likely to melt off. I haven’t found a good cruelty-free one that’s pale enough for me yet, but Maybelline has a decent one that I used to use.
  • Liquid eyeliner is sweatproof, and the really good ones are even pool-proof. You should also make sure your mascara is waterproof so it won’t run when you sweat.
  • DO NOT SHAVE EVERY DAY. Shaving too often will give you dry skin and razor burn, which is super uncomfortable. You should be shaving every 2-3 days AT THE MOST. Also, use conditioner instead of shaving cream (it’s cheaper and works way better) and apply lotion as soon as you finish shaving.
  • If you’re struggling with sweaty skin and summer acne, try using a face wash, scrub, or mask with activated charcoal in it. It sounds weird, but it really works and is gentle enough for sensitive skin.
  • If your face gets all shiny over the course of the day, you might want to look into getting some blotting sheets (or “oil-absorbing sheets,” as they’re sometimes labeled) to keep in your backpack or purse. You just pat them on your face, and they absorb all the extra oil and help you look more matte and less shiny. You don’t even have to buy special blotting sheets – I had a friend who made her own by just cutting some tissue paper into little squares, and they worked really well! 
  • Dry shampoo is a lifesaver, especially if your hair gets greasy and sweaty during the day. You can buy a cute lil bottle to keep in your purse, and use as needed throughout the day. 
  • Every March/April, Walmart starts selling cheap flip flops for like a dollar a pair. I highly recommend going and buying a pair or two, because it’s honestly never a bad idea to have some cheap flip flops on hand, especially if you go swimming a lot.
  • Coconut oil is your best friend. You can put it on your lips to keep them soft and plump, you can put it in your hair as a deep conditioning treatment, you can use it to soften dry, rough skin like on your elbows and the soles of your feet – just do whatever. You can also substitute it for vegetable oil when you bake cookies or brownies; it tastes better and is better for you. 10/10
  • If you’re insecure about wearing revealing clothing because you have scars/stretch marks/ect., Vitamin E oil is really great for helping them fade. I am very clumsy and scar very easily, and this stuff is a life saver. (And of course, scars and stretch marks are nothing to be ashamed of – I personally think stretch marks are extremely adorable and love mine a lot – but if yours make you uncomfortable you have every right to use a treatment like this to make them less noticeable.)
  • I know you’ve probably already heard this a million times, but YOU NEED TO DRINK WATER. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S HOT AND YOU’RE SWEATING. Trust me, dehydration and heat stroke are not fun, you do not wanna go there. Drink whenever you have the chance. And yes, it does have to be water. Soda literally just makes you more dehydrated.
  • If you’re going to go to the beach or pool, go in the late afternoon/evening (like 4:00 p.m. or later). It’ll be way, way less crowded, and the sun will already be starting to chill out, so you have way less of a chance of getting burned.
  • If you DO get sunburned, aloe vera gel can save the day. When I was fourteen I got a sunburn so bad that I couldn’t sleep (because my soft, silky sheets were hurting me when they rubbed my skin) and almost had permanent scarring. My friend brought me some of this stuff and not only did it provide instant pain relief, but my burns healed completely and didn’t scar! 
  • If you are out in the sun and start to feel dizzy, lightheaded, or nauseous, or if you develop a headache, get yourself to a cool, shady place (preferably inside an air-conditioned building) IMMEDIATELY. 
  • DON’T WEAR SANDALS TO A CONCERT, FESTIVAL, OR OTHER OUTDOORS EVENT. TRUST ME. YOUR FEET WILL GET SO DIRTY AND GROSS, IT’S NOT WORTH IT.
  • You can make a really good body scrub by combining sugar, olive oil or honey, and a few drops of lemon juice. You can use it to exfoliate your body or even your face, especially if your skin gets kind of rough during the summer. 
  • I probably sound like such a mom right now, but please don’t forget to sleep this summer. Teens and adults need AT LEAST eight hours a night to function normally, and lack of sleep can lead to heightened anxiety and lack of focus, and can even make you gain or retain weight.
  • Eating is important, too. I know I, for one, sometimes forget to feed myself if someone doesn’t remind me, but it’s important to make sure you’re getting 1200-1600 calories a day at the very least. And obviously you’ll need to eat more on days that you’re walking or exercising a lot, like if you go to a festival or on a hike.  
Some of the worst things Ciel has done to people

Everyone knows that Ciel isn’t exactly a good person, yet I often overlook what awful things he has actually done! So it seemed like an interesting idea to compile them all for reference.

NOTE: It goes without saying that Ciel is a young teen who is being manipulated by a demon and has a lot of mental health issues to boot - so his actions are hardly “evil” but highly complex. Ciel also feels remorse for many things and does have a moral compass even if he chooses to ignore it. However, that is not the focus of this post so I will not be exploring that.

In order of least to most offensive:

Insulting Agni (right before he died)

Ciel was clearly broken up over Agni’s death and couldn’t have known he was going to die, but that doesn’t make his harsh dismissal of Agni’s words any less cruel - especially since Agni was more than justified in his complaint to Ciel.

Removing “Colett” from Weston College simply to take their place

We don’t know what Sebastian did to ensure Ciel gained a place at Weston College, but it probably wasn’t anything good. This is pretty minor in comparison to the other things Ciel has done (and it’s hard to care since we didn’t even see it happen) but it’s still pretty bad!

Threatening Sieglinde with her life

Even if he was never intending to follow through it’s undeniably harsh to threaten an 11 year old with a gun; it was hardly the only solution.

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SHIPS ARE SAILING AND I’M FEELING FINE

GUYS. I HAVE BEEN ON A TWO WEEK INTERNET BLACKOUT AND OH BOY HAVE I MISSED YOU!

So guess who was on an actual ship, shipping my ship, missing out on my ship sailing whilst sailing on a ship? (I’m sorry. Groan at me all you want.)

Okay so here’s the thing, thanks to my 2 week stint on an actual ship I haven’t been blogging or writing my reviews or meta and I am bursting at the seams to talk about what the hell has been going on over the past few weeks.

Because WOW. Guys… GUYS…

In case you have been living under a rock for the past two weeks (or in the middle of the ocean with no wifi and a maritime data package at £6 per megabyte like me…) then you may have missed the following HUGE advances in our ships development towards a canon happy ending…

  • First we get 13x03 in which Dean’s grief and anger over losing Cas was the trigger for Jack to use his powers to literally pierce through the veil of death and save the day… because we all know that this is a thing that gay love can do on this show – it’s a CANON FACT (thank you Ghostfacers)
  • THEN in 13x04 we are once again reminded that Cas’s “love” is a big focal point of his arc. The whispered “I know who you love” and the specific break of flow with the “who” rather than the “what” that the two neighbouring statements use forcing the audience to latch on to that “who” and question it.
  • In all three episodes we are shown JUST HOW DIFFERENT Sam and Dean’s grief is regarding Cas. To the point Sam is almost portrayed as not caring about his supposed “brother” and as much as this kinda sucks for Sam it is exactly the kind of exposition we need to get the GA to start THINKING about this stuff. WHY doesn’t Sam seem to care as much? WHAT IS DIFFERENT?
  • The fact that THREE times now Cas has been the episodes cliff hanger, and that all three times his moment has come shortly after Dean’s climactic emotional outburst in a way that is basically the television equivalent of hitting your audience in the face with a shovel to scream at them that CAS IS THE ANSWER. CAS WILL MAKE DEAN BETTER. DEAN DOESN’T BELIEVE IN ANYTHING? WELL HE BELIEVES IN CAS. LOOK AT CAS. CAS IS BACK. CAS WILL MAKE IT BETTER.  

The sheer amount of negative space in these episodes has floored me. There is a HUGE question mark hanging over the ENTIRE season so far. This plot doesn’t quite work if you aren’t “in the know” (in other words, a destiel shipper). But each episode 3, 4 and 5 have answered those silent questions perfectly with a big neon arrow pointing directly at CAS. 

Cas is the answer to all of Dean’s problems, that is the message that the show has shoved in the audiences face constantly since season 13 began, and the REAL silent question that the show is just BEGGING the audience to ask is WHY? WHY is Cas SO important to Dean? WHY is Dean’s grief SO MUCH worse than Sam’s? WHY is Cas the answer to EVERY. SINGLE. EMOTIONAL. POINT. SO. FAR for Dean?

WE KNOW THE ANSWER.

What I am constantly being amazed by this season is that this isn’t deep meta. This isn’t some next level highly analytical picking apart of symbols and film theory that you need a degree in film or literature to figure out. This is so close to surface level you can see it floating just beneath the waves. As a destiel shipper at this point I am blinking and wondering why I should even bother writing about this stuff because it is SO OBVIOUS that at this point, if someone asks me where I see destiel in the show I can just gesture vaguely at season 13 and say LOOK. Because all you need is two eyes and a brain that is capable of consuming media with some degree of intelligent thought.

Honestly what else is there to do now other than to sit back and enjoy the show? I am desperate for them to finally bring it out of subtext of course, as my one gripe is that we are still not there yet. All the foundations are in place, but we still need a textual confirmation that what we are watching is not platonic love. My feelings on that matter now is that we are no longer dealing with an ‘if’ but a ‘when’ and I don’t say that kind of thing lightly.

Perhaps I am deluded in this thought, but every episode so far in season 13 has had me struggling to find the platonic reading. We are well and truly in romantic territory and I’m sorry but that final shot in 13x05 of Cas turning around to reveal himself to a shocked Dean, the slow zoom in on both their faces as they stare longingly at each other… in what way is that NOT romantic?

Never in any previous season of SPN have we had a consecutive run of 5 episodes where the overarching theme was all about Castiel. Castiel and grief and Dean’s love for him. Because that’s what it’s all been about. Sure we have had Jack’s story and Sam being a support figure and a source of conflict for Dean, and we’ve had some new bad guys, but ultimately, every single episode so far has been about CAS and how his death has affected Dean. This is what has stunned me. This is what I can’t wrap my head around. I guess being a Cas girl I am so used to being burned by this show that I can’t quite handle it.

Nothing is certain of course, and I don’t have a magic crystal ball telling me they are gonna go there, but with everything we have been given I can’t fathom how they CAN’T be going there now. I have never been more positive, and I only hope that the show continues to amaze me in this way. Judging by the promo’s for next weeks episode, I think I will once again come away with a huge grin on my face. Their reunion episode is COWBOYS FFS. I mean JESUS could they BE any less subtle?!?

I have rambled on for far too long, but I had to get this all off my chest. I am so very light and happy and gleeful about this all. I am basically Dean in next week’s episode! A giddy school girl fangirling over the thing I love and simultaneously revelling in the fact that the person I adore has finally returned to me. Oh Dean. Your happy face in the promo makes me happy. I just KNOW it’s going to be fantastic.