some i am ashamed of though

Meme: “If I was your lover”… Finish it in my ask.


Vincent cleared his throat to seek Kuja’s attention before speaking. “If I was your lover well, not much would change. I would still act more like a bodyguard than a guide– even though you don’t need it. I would continue to search for the most beautiful and interesting sights to show you, even if we’d traveled Gaia thrice over. I would hold you when the shadows of the past that you try to act as though do not exist threatened to overtake your eyes. I would love you fiercely; until you were spent and exhausted and could not think to beg for more. I would treasure you as a being of utmost importance and worth. I am not ashamed or embarrassed by these things; that is for children.” He looked away, obviously weighted by some awful guilt or another. 

“But… These are not things I would lay upon your shoulders. These are my own selfish desires; To adore and worship you as I see fit.“


Such glorious words of desire poured over Kuja like the sweetest nectar—a libation to his very existence. Never before had he been given such promises and praise, for his was a life of scorn and bitterness. And even the pretty sentences he had received in the past were always fraught with ulterior motives—and yet the red death spoke with true love.

However had fate joined him with such a devoted knight…?

Kuja drew closer, extending his delicate hand for Vincent to take.

“Then hesitate not in your worship—I shall gladly accept it.”

anonymous asked:

How do you respond to friends (who like naruto/who doesn't like anime at all) that says you're weird for being so into Naruto/Sakura?

Tbh, I am pretty much a closet-otaku. I don’t necessarily hide it (I will admit liking it if directly asked), but I prefer to not be absolutely open about it, so it would be very hypocritical for me to say to be as you are and not care about what others say (even though that’s what you should do).

My advice is, whatever they say or ask you, stay honest (or at least close to the truth lol). You know, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Lying and desperately hiding your interest/hobby will only make you feel more uncomfortable and give you the feeling it’s not normal or something to be ashamed of. Some of my close friends know and asked me at first too, why I am into it. I just said that I grew up with it and happened to stay interested. Others are into fashion, porn, foodblogs etc. and I just can’t let a childhood hobby go.  No need for an hour long speech to justify why it’s not weird to be into anime (because it’s not) or little white lies. Just shake shrug it off and say it’s just a hobby, everyone has their “guilty pleasure” and move to the next topic. Don’t make a big issue out of it. I am sure if they see how chill you are about it, they would see it’s not a big thing and stop thinking and bothering you about it.

And if they are immature and won’t stop bothering you, turn the tables and make THEM feel weird and uncomfortable lmao i love doing that. “Oh my god how can you NOT be into anime/naruto/sakura? that is so weird”, “what is wrong with you, everyone I know is into it”, “what do you even do on the internet, oh my god get a life”, “screw netflix, I can’t believe you’re such a basic bitch. KissAnime is the new shit”

… or something like that :’). Okay that was obviously a joke.. or wasn’t it?

Some internal dialogue. Maybe this is an interesting experiment. ?.

Oh man I got problems you guys

How do you even do a communication

How do you do it
Everything is fine I just am an asshat sometimes
and its like, why ass? Why this hat?

Why can’t you just do the thing and act reasonable, me?
Nope. First response to conflict
Ignore. Go to woods.

I’m gonna work on that.

Ya know what is the best thing though?
Admitting when you fuck up!
I have some things to fix. And I’m gonna fix them. And I’m gonna move on and not keep making the same mistakes.

It’s so easy for me to be like, interacting with people
Is it worth it? I’m so so good at letting go.
I can let go of people and places. I can let go of my whole self.
And it’s second nature.
I’m in the moment or I’m out of it, like really out of it.

Dissociate and you don’t have to deal with this.
Isn’t that a sweet trap? It almost feels familiar like an old coat…

.funny, that.
Finding Poetry on a page.

Ask questions about Miss Naka!

A time ago someone mentioned that despite that I often speak against making Mary-Sue type characters, I’d essentially done just that since I describe Miss Naka as an “ideal” gender-swapped self-representation. Honestly it wasn’t my intent with that to say that she is some form of “ideal”, but I’ll elaborate! Then I want you guys to ask questions, but I’ll get to that in a minute!

I don’t have some perfect image in my head when making her. Instead, it’s more that there are things about myself that I’m ashamed of, but also things that I’m proud of. For example, I’m really self-conscious about my body. I’m super skinny and it’s nearly impossible for me to put on weight. I don’t think it’s attractive at all, and it’s not something I’m proud of. I am proud to represent skinny people, though. I just don’t want to be to the degree I am. So for one, I wanted Miss Naka to be skinny, but in a way I feel I would be more proud of. Also, my own negative self-image is why she has an exceptionally good self-image. She’s proud of what she looks like and is super comfortable in her body.

I guess some of that still sounds off. But this is where you guys come in! I want all of you to learn more about Miss Naka, and I want to learn more about her, myself. So ask me any question you can think of and I’ll do my best to answer as many as I can! (Very broad questions like “What is she bad at?” are rough to answer. Try to narrow it down! Also, I won’t be answering joke/silly questions or questions that are too lewd. I really want to take this seriously! Oh, I’m also not giving big spoilers for Welgaea!) I’ll answer them all publicly as I go, but if I get many questions I may also compile them into a single post for ease of reading later! Hopefully I get enough for us all to learn something neat.

anonymous asked:

is this still a hollstein fic :((( (i'm ashamed to say that i'm kinda liking carmell)

What’s amazing is that I was sure no one was going to like Ell no matter what I did. 

So, I overcompensated by making her super sympathetic and adorable. But I really should have given you guys more credit, because now I apparently made her so nice that Carmell has become the favorite? For some people? 

Hollstein is still endgame. I can only tell you that there are scenes in the works, and I am confident that you’re not going to be disappointed. 

Definitely considering writing an alternate Carmell ending, though. I didn’t expect to like them so much. 

betaskye asked:

Hey man, just been wondering where you disappeared to. I know you said you were going to basic training or something but I feel like that should've been over by now. Hope you're doing okay though and that you finally got to watch Yuki-chan (I've been slipping/too lazy to keep up tbh I'm so ashamed)

I am A-OK. In fact I just got back home today. I had to go to NTC thats the National Training Center. Three months in the wonderful desert of southern california. We had some time off while we were there too and we got to visit a couple cities and I tell ya, it’s good to be back in the states. Cali is such a weird country, people yell at you in the streets about stuff no one really cares about except them, weird street performers try to get money from you while playing music very badly on instruments that look like they carved themselves, and the place called hollywood is nothing like it is on TV, so trashy, and selfiesticks. Selfiesticks EVERYWHERE. I already didnt like cities and boy I sure didnt come to like them anymore than i did. AND none of the eating establishments had sweet tea. Ive never been in a more unamerican place in my life.

anonymous asked:

I'm feeling so ugly I hate myself so much. Boys always ignore me what's wrong with me? I don't even want to go out anymore because I'm so ashamed about myself. When I look in the mirror I can't belive how ugly and fat I am even though my friends always say I'm pretty and skinny why do they lie? I'm so desperate what's wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you
You are beautiful just the way you are.
Body confidence is something everyone struggles with
I think creating a healthier lifestyle will make you feel a lot better about yourself(:
Put on a cute outfit and wear some lipstick and you’ll be able to conquer the world
Lots of love

At first I did not want to post this because I was embarrassed and ashamed but my coworker (who is a trainer) convinced me too and gave me supporting words. After awhile I agreed, I’m not ashamed anymore because that was who I was then and I have made a change. In three months I was able to completely change my body for the better and I am so proud. I’m so thankful for all my coworkers who have given me advice and helped me with exercises. (Seriously though need a trainer or help? Come to my work. My gym has some of the best trainers). This is a small goal I have accomplished so far and I can’t wait to continue working my ass off this summer to improve more. I couldn’t have done it without the help of my coworkers. ‪#‎hotbytheendofsummer2015‬ lol

anonymous asked:

Confession time: So I've always played off being the biggest Harry Potter nerd because I have merch, saw the movies, and read... Some of the books, basically I read 6/7 books. I skipped The Order of the Phoenix and am so ashamed of it because it's too late for me to turn back now. I've lied to everyone I've ever known. Although, every once in a while I tell a close friend and I can feel their judgement and sense of betrayal because we had bonded over the series.

Lmao… It’s never too late to go back and read a book though.

anonymous asked:

Yes. Yes you did get a abortion smh girl

Am I suppose to be ashamed?
No, SMH at you for judging some shit you’ve never had to come to a decision about.

good job spending your time doing anon hate though, you do you glen coco.

Hiya guys, I know I haven’t posted for a while, and this post at all doesn’t fullfill the standard of being my Tumblr post, but I’d like you guys to check out my Instagram. I know I might sound like a Follow/Like begger, but I’d really like to get my photos to people, I enjoy doing them, and though some of them might not be that good, I am proud of every single one of them, because finally, I found something that’s fun, something I can do almost anywhere anytime and something that I don’t completely suck at. Thanks for your support, it means so much to me.
Profile: new_inowa
I feel so ashamed right now, might as well delete this post in 30 minutes :D

I find it interesting how correlated and calculated our lives are in comparison to one another. We come from two completely different backgrounds and mannerisms of being brought up, but our underlying foundation of the root issues in our lives are connected. It’s always been said by yourself, my therapist, and my subconscious that I am just generally ahead in perspectives and critical thinking… But I’ve never taken pride in that. My “superiority” has always been something I’ve been ashamed of when it comes to you, as you take it as a threat or some blunt way to make it obvious you are good enough for me. This though, this is just completely false. My proof is in the 4 years I’ve been graced with a connection with you. I’ve watched your mind expand, your feelings slowly blossom to the surface, and your pride actively humble. I’ve voiced several times that the only reason I’m still present and dedicated to you & whatever our love is, is because you are an equal. You have nothing but potential to be equal to me in these levels if not beyond me. I take so much pride in things you disbelieve about yourself, and it’s because you need that love. Whether it’s spoken love or energetic love I send out, you need it, you deserve it and it’s always present in my heart to yours.

What I did in Peru changed me for the better, and although I couldn’t share that experience with you, I knew your own awakening would follow. A year later and you’re going through your own breakthrough meant for you, and I know it’s rough, I know it hurts, I know it will leave you changed but I also know that you need it. I’m sending all sort of love because I know the harshness, I know this undying pain, I know what I wanted when I was going through my cleansing… I understand it all. You’ll get through hun. I promise you that, in place of your promise to let me in on the details. I love you 🌹

anonymous asked:

Do enlighten us, hoe

i can’t i am ashamed even though i accidentally guilted the photographer into not using the pics i wasn’t comfortable with (so like all of them lol) so basically he wasted 3 hrs and $450 lol. his fault for 1) not explicitly telling me what it would entail and 2) asking me if i was ok with it midway thru the shoot and then feeling like he can’t use them bc karma or some shit

anonymous asked:

54, 55, 81, 82

54: Ever eat a pierogi? 

To be honest I don’t even know how to pronounce that, so I’m fairly certain I haven’t eaten it. xD I’d probably be willing to give it a try though, it looks nice!

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?

I’m more of a crumble girl, but I do love cherry pies and I once had a strawberry pie that was to die for. Oh my, strawberries~ Actually I’m just down for all pies. I like pie.

81: Tea or coffee? 

I’m ashamed to admit that I am probably the only English person who doesn’t drink tea. *sigh* So embarrassing… but I prefer tea with some sugar over coffee.

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? 

What are snickerdoodles and why don’t I have any!? They look delicious! I need them!

I discovered today as I was drawing/designing a fairly androgynous character that I somehow still have a sort of phobia within me when it comes to genderfluidity. As I was drawing, I started seeing more masculine attributes than feminine in my character and I was actually /disgusted/ or maybe just displeased.. but still, I hated that both existed in my character and that the one that wasn’t feminine might be more prevalent. It was unpleasant and I hated it, the fact that both feminine and masculine traits were visible in my character and that it wasn’t clearly one or the other. I am ashamed of this, but it is a learning experience. I myself usually identlfy now as genderfluid, though I tend to lean towards feminine, but I think that maybe some part of me still has a problem with being not totally a girl. For so many years I was taught that that was what was /normal/, so now I have sort of an issue whenever someone/something isn’t completely one gender. But I’m learning to accept it in myself.

I’m beginning to realise that, in some ways, my reading choices are very predictable. Themes are emerging: so far this year, I have read three books about foxes, three in which wolves play a significant role, and two which feature coyotes among the main characters (plus one about otters). I am a creature of habit and my habit is creatures. And I am not ashamed.

The Wolf Border is, obviously, the third of the three wolf books so far. It’s not really about wolves, though. I mean, there are wolves in it - indeed, they are the basis of the plot because the story revolves around a naturalist who is asked to advise on a project to reintroduce wolves to England. But actually it’s about the relationships - and the distances - between people; about setting old hurts to rest; and about learning how to bond when you’ve always gone your own way. It’s also utterly beautiful. Sarah Hall is a truly wonderful writer, deftly knitting together her strands of narrative and meaning to someone present a very complex piece of fiction in a form that’s nothing less than a treat to read. I loved it.

And yes, I did go to significant trouble to set up the visual pun in this photograph. What can I say? I like wolves.

How to read it: Hole up in a little cottage at the edge of England and try to imagine that you can hear wolves howling. 

anonymous asked:

Persona Q

Send me the name of a video game and I’ll reply with my character’s reaction while playing it.

“…Can I play a real Shin Megami Tensei game? This final boss is already gonna be beaten on Risky mode. I need a challenge, not some fanfiction type of game that makes Pop’n Music Portable 2 more challenging. It gives complements to Benami than Atlus and I am ashamed of why I still live today for this. Great job worth the efforts though. You tried. I wanted more gameplay of this, not storywise with bullshitty friendship.”

The older I get the more and more I actually hate myself. How I look, how I talk how I act everything and I feel I can’t change any of that because it’s how I am but I still hate every single bit of it. I love my beard but I think it makes me look like my dad when I grow it out and on top of that I’m balding just like he did. I don’t like how high pitched my voice is and sometimes I actually sound like a girl I wish it was deeper.. I’m not ashamed of who I am in anyway I just don’t like who I am, at all. I wish I could change it all if I end up looking a lot like my dad I don’t know what I’d do tbh. And I don’t hate my dad even though he’s done some pretty crappy things it’s that he hates me and doesn’t want me in his life and why would I want to look like someone who hates me. I wish I looked more like my mom.