some funny shit on there omfg

a basic summary of any given NCIS episode seasons
  • random person: *doing random every day thing*
  • kid: omfg WHY IS THERE A BODY IN THIS CAR/POND/OTHER WEIRD PLACE
  • random person: cause kid we are on a tv show where a lot of people die
  • ~foof~
  • tony: bla bla bla funny stuff bla
  • mcgee: bla bla bla tech stuff banter bla
  • kate/ziva/bishop: *done with both of their shit*
  • ziva: *flirts with tony for good measure*
  • tiva eyesex: *ensues*
  • gibbs: dead marine found stuffed into a grocery store display grab your gear
  • tony: what the fuck boss
  • -cut to crime scene-
  • team: *investigates*
  • team: *banter*
  • ducky: *wise observation about Strange Case of the Week™*
  • palmer: *falls off a hill*
  • tony: boss i think it might be a suicide
  • gibbs: *broods* nah
  • ~foof~
  • *later in bullpen*
  • jenny shepherd/vance: gibbs don't do the thing
  • gibbs: *does the thing*
  • ducky: *autopsy stuff*
  • abby: *does forensic stuff in a lovable way*
  • tiva: *more eyesex in the bullpen*
  • tony: boss we found a guy who's totally not a red herring
  • gibbs: *interrogates totally not red herring*
  • gibbs: this isn't our guy
  • tony: *eats an entire burrito to make him look like more of an asshole*
  • kate/ziva/bishop: wtf
  • ~foof~
  • everybody: *more investigating stuff*
  • gibbs: my gut says it's the guy's exlover's son's dentist's ex wife that killed him and stuffed him in the display
  • shepherd/vance: what the fuck gibbs
  • abby: gibbs is right
  • the guy's ex lover's son's dentist's ex wife: yes tis I that killed him
  • ziva: *probably fights him*
  • gibbs: rule #124: it's always the dentist
  • everyone: *nod in appreciation of Gibbs Wisdom*
  • tiva: *more eyesex*
  • ~foof~
  • *credits*
Simon: Lock the door

Requested: Anon ‘Can you make a SMUT (idk what it standa for but its for older audiences) about a sidemen walking in on you RIGHT AFTER the climax of the sex. It would be hilarious. After the most intense part a sidemen would walk in. Omfg this would be so funny. Do it for Tobi and Simon plz’

Warnings: Sexual events, swearing (nothing too major though)

A/N: This was the funniest thing to write ever! Got some other boys imagines coming very soon, I’ve realised that I’ve done way more Simon imagines than any other guy oops. Anyway, thank you for requesting and enjoy! x


Both of you were panting heavily, sweaty foreheads pressed together, moans escaping.

“Hey Simon, are you ready for-holy shit never mind.” Tobi said, backing away and quickly running out slamming the door behind.

You both just stared at one other and Simon started laugh, before you whacked him in the chest, making him stop.

“Simon!” You shouted, feeling mortified at what just happened.

“Ouch. That hurt.” He pouted, rubbing the area you just hit him at.

“How can you be laughing right now? Tobi just walked in on us doing the dirty and all you can do is laugh?” You questioned.

“It’s not that bad, we were under the covers and I was on top. It’s not like he fully saw you naked.” He explained sitting up, not really making you feel better in this situation.

“You were the one who said that you locked the damn door! I knew I should’ve checked!” You exasperated.

“Calm down babe, there are more embarrassing things he could’ve walked into, It’s not the end of the world, besides at least it wasn’t JJ.” Simon reassured you.

“I guess you’re right.” You sighed,

“I’m always right.” He stated, smugly.

“Yeah alright.” You said, rolling your eyes at him.

“I’m right about loving you.” Simon smiled, holding your hands.

“That you are. And next time, I’ll lock the door.” You stated.

“Oooh, there’s going to be a next time aye.” He joked, you hit him again.

“There won’t be if you keep acting like this, Mr.” You playfully warned him.

“Whatever you say, I know you can’t resist me.”

hug-me-hard-so-i-dont-forget-you  asked:

Not a request, just felt like sharing: I just thought of a scenario that sounds cute but if it happened to me I'd die. Like you're in your apt or dorm or the library. You start singing quietly while you're doing homework or something & then one day you're in the laundry room or checking your mail or go to look for a book & someone you've been crushing on is there. He glances at you & smirks & you blush & look away. Then he starts humming the song you've been singing for the last couple days.

omfg I’d dieeeeee

I get so FLUSTERED it’s not even funny

That reminds me of when this guy I have a crush on (and i’m 70% he was into me but I was DUMB and BLIND and couldn’t tell) started singing one of my favorite songs when just he and I were hanging out doing uni work in the rec room of our apartment and I fucking lost my shit man

this is some Good Shit™

This feels like so long ago omfg

Carl and I got engaged on march 31st last year and we told my sister the very next day which resulted in me having to go through some long “promise this isn’t a prank” ritual which included swearing on the lives of her favorite bands, Youtubers, and broadway stars and double pinky promising until she finally went “okay well shit this is legit then congrats guys”

4

Some pics lol idk I wanted to show you all some shit.
I got some sick posters and buttons from the con, and hhh I love them.
The water colour Rick and OPM were done by Levicraig.com
And I should have grabbed the other artist’s card but I forgot, but it has his signature (btw that guy was funny as hell and so cool omfg)

9

Monster Rock (February 17, 2015)

Guests: ONE OK ROCK


THIS EPISODE DIDN’T DISAPPOINT.

And OMFG Ryota stole the show once again. Hahahaha. That effin’ dude.

Anyway, I skipped quite a few parts because I got lazy (lol!), but all the funny shit are still here. That’s all we want anyway. Haha! If there’s any mistake, sorry! I’m still a student. ^^ As always, everything inside brackets are just my own thoughts or some added info to make things easier to understand.

Enjoy the dorkiness!

~~

Nao: ONE OK ROCK Sports King Battle!

(Applause)

Voiceover: It’s a sudden start, but for this week until the next, our guest will be ONE OK ROCK. And, this time, the members are still…

Nao: They (staff) didn’t tell you anything, right? (about what they’ll do for this episode)

Taka: We don’t know anything at all. So, it’s kinda, really… This is the worst feeling ever.

Nao: It’s what you usually feel, right? (whenever they’re on the show)

Voiceover: That’s right. ONE OK ROCK members have been on this show for several times. But, the members are always unaware of what they’re supposed to do, and they’re often asked to do a lot of things. This time, they’ll do “ONE OK ROCK Sports King Battle” inside the studio to find out who’s the most athletic member.

Nao: Table Tennis Battle! (pingpong)

(Super happy Ryota and Tomoya. Haha!)

Tomoya: Oh, it’s a ball game! A ball game!

Ryota: A ball, huh?

Voiceover: The group will be divided into two and play “Doubles.”  Whoever gets 5 points first, wins.

Ryota: The two of us (him and Tomoya) are actually quite good.

Toru: These two even have their own rackets.

Nao: Really?

Ryota: They’re (Taka and Toru) the group that doesn’t play table tennis.

Toru: We don’t play at all.

Taka: We’re the “we-don’t-play” team.

Nao: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Taka: When we were recording in America, these two even bought a table tennis at home. Before we do our rehearsals, they’d play first.

Daisuke Han (to Ryota): You’re more comfortable with a racket than with a bass guitar?

Ryota: Yeah, I’m probably better with a racket.

Nao: Probably?

Daisuke Han: That kinda makes me mad. (He’s just joking, of course.)

Toru: Ahh, this is impossible for us (him and Taka).

(Voiceover; The other host Kiyono [not sure about his name. lol!] introduces himself; Nao will be the referee; Voiceover again)

Daisuke Han: Table Tennis Battle, start!

(So… they play the game.)

Host Dude: Well, then. Ryota and Tomoya’s team wins!

Voiceover: So, Ryota and Tomoya wins. But, Daisuke Han has something to say…

Daisuke Han: So, everyone in the audience, please cast your votes! (He used the English word “judge.”)

Taka: “Judge?” Wait a minute, what do you mean by “judge?”

Ryota: Eh, what’s this?

Daisuke Han: Please show us your votes.

Taka: No, no, no, no.

Daisuke Han: This is nice, right?

Voiceover: For some reason, after the table tennis round, the audience had to choose a name. What does this mean?

Daisuke Han: Here’s the results: Taka got 3 points, Toru got 10 (They said it’s 10, but the screen showed 14), Tomoya got 16, and Ryota got 2 points. Therefore, the person who made everyone’s heart jump the most is Tomoya!

(Okay, so I can’t think of an accurate English translation for the Japanese term “guttokuru”. It simply means to make someone’s heart jump/feel good/happy. In Tagalog, it’s “kilig.” Sino ang pinaka-nagpakilig? Hehe.)

(Someone said the game is interesting. I think it’s Ryota.)

Tomoya: So, this is what it’s all about?

Toru: “Make someone’s heart jump?” What does that mean?

Taka: What’s this?

Nao: Now that you’ve heard it, how was it?

Taka: “How was it?” What does that even mean, “make someone’s heart jump?”

Nao: Hmm… I wonder.

(Cute Taka laugh alert!)

Daisuke Han: Everyone watched you play table tennis earlier, and they thought Tomoya was the most charming, right?

Nao: That’s right.

OOR: Ooohhh…

(Voiceover)

Daisuke Han: You thought it’s about Sports, right?

Taka: Yes.

DH: The truth is, we don’t have a segment like that at all.

Nao: We won’t do it.

Toru: Yeah, this is Monster Rock after all.

Voiceover: Of course, we won’t just do a simple sports battle. The real activity prepared for ONE OK ROCK today is…

OOR: ONE OK ROCK “Guttokuru” Battle (I’ll just use the Japanese term from here on, okay? ^^)

(Applause)

Taka: As always, we can’t follow at all.

(Voiceover)

Host Dude: In Google, the keywords “ONE OK ROCK guttokuru” are often searched. It got 52,600 hits.

Taka: That’s a lie, right?

HD: This is true.

Taka: It’s true?

AD: However, for “EXILE guttokuru,” it got 370,000 hits.

Taka: EXILE?

Daisuke Han: Yes, EXILE.

Taka: Wait a minute. First of all, EXILE and ONE OK ROCK are completely different (in terms of genre. Not familiar with EXILE? Google them. They’re a bunch of musclemen. Hehe. And very talented.).

Nao: Please listen to the explanation.

HD: As for “AKB48 guttokuru,” it got 1,170,000 hits.

Nao: As expected, right?

Taka: That’s kinda… What is this feeling of disappointment? (Haha! Taka, try Googling “NEWS guttokuru.” Hahaha!)

HD: Let me say it once again. “ONE OK ROCK guttokuru” got 52, 600 hits.

DH: Why did you have to say it again? (Hahaha!)

(Voiceover: Blahblahblah. They’ll be judged by the 35 people in the audience. Blahblahblah.)

DH: For your reference, we’ll ask the audience what makes their hearts jump. You’d like to know, right?

OOR: Yes.

Nao (asks the women in the audience): How was it?

Lady (voted for Tomoya): He looks kinda reckless. He’s like a puppy.

DH: That’s so cute!

Nao: He’s like a puppy, so he’s cute. I see. How about you? You voted for Taka.

Girl (voted for Taka): Because he’s cool. (Gosh, Taka looked super happy. <3)

Nao: Is there a member you hate?

Girl: Toru.

Toru: Eh, me?

Nao: No honorific whatsoever.

Daisuke: No honorific. Haha!

Toru: That was pretty straightforward. (Hahahahaha! Poor Toru.)

(Voiceover)

~~~

I’ll do the rest later. This is already too long. lol! 

Zeref and Mavis's thoughts throughout their whole reunion scene:

Zeref: HOLY FUCK BAES AWAKE WTF I WAS NOT FUCKING PREPARED FOR THIS OMG FUCK I NEED TO ACT COOL IMA JUST SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE ON THIS CHAIR AND CROSS MY LEGS AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING FUNNY IN MY HEAD LIKE THAT TIME NATSU STARTED EATING HIS DIAPER OR SOME SHIT SO I CAN SMIRK REALLY COOLY OMFG ACT COOL ZEREF! ACT. FUCKING. COOL! EVIL AURA, EVIL AURA! YOU ARE THE DARK KING WHO IS INVADING THIS LAND! YOU SHALL NOT FKN BLUSH U LITTLE PUSSY ASS BITCH! FUCK FUCK FUCK

Mavis: WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE SITTING IN THE FUCKING GUILD LIKE HE OWNS IT WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS EVIL, CRAZY, PSYCHOTIC… HOT, INCREDIBLY SEXY… NO MAVIS NO, HES A FUCKING CUNT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I WILL JUST LOOK AT HIM VERY SERIOUSLY AND ANGRILY SO HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING, OKAY. ITS OKAY, I GOT THIS! YOU GOT THIS MAVIS! SERIOUS AURA, NO! DO NOT FUCKING PICTURE HIM SHIRTLESS, WTF BRAIN?! NO.

Zeref and Mavis: DO NOT BLUSH, SERIOUS FACE, SELF RESTRAINT

So when Audrey was having her meltdown, everybody was saying that this was serious and even if you don’t like her, taking it as a joke makes you a piece a shit.

But when Steve has an anxiety attack people in this tag want to laugh and make jokes about it as if its hilarious because they don’t like him.

done with society.