Feelings are weapons in the hands of the wrong person, and some days it seems like everyone is the wrong person. Some days it seems like the only thing people ever do with your feelings is use them against you.
I go through phases. Somedays I feel like the person I’m supposed to be, and then somedays, I turn into no one at all. There is both me and my silhouette. I hope that on the days you find me and all I am are darkened lines, you still are willing to be near me.
And yet, it makes me exhausted. I wake up tired, I am tired all day, I go to bed tired, and then I can’t sleep through the night. I think too much. I exhaust my brain. I do everything I can for everyone I love, and I never feel like it’s enough. I am constantly trying to win a war that is raging in my mind. Some days there is hope, then some days, like today, there is none. Some days, like today, I have to convince myself to get out of bed and go to work. I have to convince myself to shower, and get dressed, and brush my hair. I have to convince myself that I am not worthless, no matter how much I feel that I am.