some abuse

Conventional Couple

Originally posted by wintersthighs

Pairing: Bucky / Reader

Warnings: Violence, fighting, some mentions of past abuse. 

Request: Could you please write a request based on the idea that Bucky is activated as the Winter Soldier and accidentally hurts his S/O then feels guilty and she has to convince him she’s alright. 

Please feel free to add yourself to my taglist over here….TAGLIST 

@just4muggles @morganlb23 @yet-another-lockup @theraputicwritings @unevenpages @littlepartofheaven @itsbubbaog @this-is-bucky-barnes @georgiagrl1990 @angelaiswriting @selldraug

He didn’t recognise you, there was none of the usual light in his eyes when he stared at you. The teasing twinkle or the love that warmed you to your toes, it was all gone. Wiped clean away and replaced instead by the dead coldness of the Winter Soldier. A machine created to do one simple task and right now that task was to kill you.

“Bucky?” you gasped out as his flesh hand tightened dangerously around your throat “Bucky please”

Still nothing as his grip continued to tighten, you clutched at his wrist with one hand and with the other grabbed the only thing in reach, your cereal bowl from only moments earlier. You smashed it into his head taking advantage of his momentary break in concentration to raise up your legs and kick with all your might.

Bucky stumbled back a few steps and dragging in lung full’s of air you rolled from the table landing on all fours as you scrambled away from him.

Tears were streaming down your face as you made for where the block of kitchen knives had fallen when Bucky had very first thrown you across the room.

You’d barely gotten hold of the end of one knife before Bucky grabbed your ankle pulling you back along the floor. You screamed as he spun you over slamming his metal fist into your right shoulder. You actually felt bone shatter and splinter as another scream ripped through you.

Through pain streaked vision you managed to lock eyes with him once more. “You have to see me Bucky. You have to remember who I am”

There was nothing not even a flicker as his hand came back up to your throat, the metal one this time. He was serious, he was actually going to kill you.

“I love you Bucky” you whispered, then with the last of your remaining strength you stabbed him. Pushed the blade of the chopping knife into his stomach.

Bucky’s eyes widened in shock at the sudden pain, you had no idea if it would be enough though because your swimming vision was starting to blink on and off. Your brain to starved of oxygen to stay awake any longer.

The next thing that filtered into your brain was beeping. Consistent and unending beeping. You could smell disinfectant and as your eyes blinked open you realised you were in fact in the med-bay of stark tower. You were alive because if you’d died you definitely wouldn’t still be in this much pain.

“Hey Y/N, you’re awake”

Managing to focus you found Natasha’s red hair and concerned face looking over at you from a chair next to your bed. “Nat?” your voice sound groggy and rough “what happened?”

She frowned “You don’t remember?”

You flinched as you tried to move and your shoulder grated “Bucky. He tried to kill me”

“Someone activated the Winter Soldier program” Natasha confirmed.

“Fuck Nat, I stabbed him! Is he ok?”

“He’s fine” she reassured you instantly. “Apart from reverting back to his usual pathological self-loathing he really is fine. Much better than you”

“the knife?”

“Disabled him enough that you lived” Natasha interrupted “he doesn’t blame you for that Y/N no one does”

You lapsed back into silence as the pain in your shoulder intensified, it was clearly well and truly broken. In fact, you were a little worried that it was broken beyond repair, you could remember quite clearly the feeling of your bones shattering into dust under the strength of the Winter Soldiers attack. “My shoulder Nat?” you asked quietly “Will it heal?”

She sighed reaching out and gripping your hand “It will heal”

“But?”

“But the doctors, they aren’t sure about how much mobility you’ll get back. The bone was completely shattered, it’s possible that even with physio and medical attention it might not heal well”

“Does Bucky know?”

Natasha shook her head at you “I’ve just told you that you might lose mobility in your shoulder and you’re still more worried about him?”

“He’ll blame himself, you know he will, and this wasn’t his fault. Someone triggered him on purpose. The Winter Soldier attacked me not Bucky”

Natasha was watching you curiously “he knows” she admitted eventually. “When he came around you were the only thing he was interested in. Made the doctors tell him about you before himself”

Something about that sentence was wrong, but what was it? “Wait, he remembers?”

“The pain, we think when you stabbed him it jolted him enough to get Bucky back, he managed to reinitiate FRIDAY and call for help”

So he knew, he knew what he had done and he was most likely blaming himself for everything and destroying himself about it. “I need to see him” you demanded trying to push yourself up but stopping halfway as the pain in your shoulder made you want to throw up.

“Easy” Natasha helped lower you back down. “Just take it easy”

Tears were starting to form in your eyes. “Nat you don’t understand; I have to tell him” you insisted “I have to tell him that it wasn’t his fault”

“Y/N he knows that”

“He won’t, you know he won’t”

“Alright well I’ll tell him ok?” she offered “I’ll tell him you don’t blame him, but you have to stay here and rest”

“But you’ll tell him Nat, promise me you’ll tell him”

“I swear” Once Natasha gave her word she kept it. It was one of the best things about her, she didn’t give it out all that often but when she did she meant it. “Now you have rest”

“Alright” it took you little time at all to let the heavy pain medication they must be pumping into you take effect and your eyes fluttered closed once more.

It had been a fortnight and you’d barely seen Bucky. You’d been out of the med-bay for a week and you knew he was avoiding you. Every time you entered a room he’d mysteriously just left. Even with training he was never in the gym at the same time as your physio sessions and he didn’t even eat meals with the team in case you might be there. It was starting to take guilt to a whole new level and you really weren’t appreciative of the silent treatment.

Eventually you couldn’t handle it anymore, if he wasn’t going to come to you then you’d just have to go to him. Marching up to the door of Bucky’s room in the tower you used your good hand to bang on the door. You knew he was there had it on good authority from Natasha that he rarely left the rooms anymore.

“Bucky! Open the door. I know you’re in there” nothing, not even the sound of footsteps. “James Buchannan Barnes I am not moving until you open this door!”

Finally, you heard footsteps stopping on the other side of the door. You could practically feel him stood there staring holes into the door.

“Please Buck, talk to me. I can’t deal with being ignored anymore”

“I’m not ignoring you” the door opened.

“You’re not even looking at me Bucky”

Very slowly he lifted his head, eyes meeting your own. All you could see was guilt, swimming around in endless circles. His eyes flicked to you still heavily bandaged shoulder and the instantly went back down to the floor. “Are you in pain?”

“Not really, I have some wonderful pain killers” you were trying to joke, trying to lighten the mood but it seemed to fall flat. “can I come in?”

“Of course” Bucky moved out of the doorway so you could come in, dropping down onto his sofa he came and sat on the other end as far away from you as he could get.

“Bucky we need to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to say Y/N. I tried to kill you. It’s not safe for you to be around me”

“You didn’t do this to me” you insisted making his eyes flick to your own again. “Bucky this wasn’t you, it was the Winter Soldier. There’s a difference”

“Y/N”

“No James” you inched forwards moving so you were sat closer to him, reaching out you laid a hand on his thigh. “Please don’t cut me out”

“It’s not safe Y/N, this is what this proved. I got out of control and you had to fucking stab me to stop me. As it is you might not get full movement back in your shoulder, what if it happens again and we’re not so lucky? I could actually kill you”

“Alright fine, you might kill me” you agreed “But I might also go out today and get hit by a bus”

“That’s not exactly a good comparison” Bucky insisted but your point seemed to have gotten through slightly as he was looking at you again and not at the floor.

“James surely it gets to be my choice if I want to be around you or not? It’s my life to risk”

“And my mind” he finally moved turning to frame you face with his flesh hand “I couldn’t live with myself if I actually hurt you, I’m barely coping with what I’ve already down to the woman I love”

You froze, he’d never said those words out loud before. “You love me?”

He froze as well eyes widening as he realised what he’d said, apparently he hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but he couldn’t exactly take it back either and pretend it had never happened.

“Yes” he eventually confessed “Yes I love you”

“I love you too” you smiled at him “we can get through this, we can get through it together”

He gave you a weak smile but at least it was better than guilt. “I don’t deserve you” he helped you awkwardly climb onto his lap so you could rest your head against his chest, his metal hand this time trailing up and down your back.

So fair enough you’d had to get him to almost kill you to finally admit that he loved you, which wasn’t the most conventional method but after all you weren’t the most conventional couple.

anonymous asked:

What the fuck about Betty's soul is tortured she lives in a nice house and neighborhood and has gotten nothing but support for a stable life. Clearly her mother cared enough to get her medication for her ADHD. they act like Betty is some abuse victim but she isn't. She's just a moody teen

the writers tried to say betty was being abused but then like…they telled not showed and then had her mom become like good and loving in the end so her home life isn’t even bad…she should be the least tortured of them all. veronica found out her dad is pretty much involved in organised crime with the help of her mother, jugheads dad’s in jail his mom doesn’t want him and he’s in foster care, Archies dad was fucking gun downed, Cheryls dad killed her brother and himself.

what does betty have to even feel bad about.

anonymous asked:

So by like the 3 or 4th chapter I started wondering if isak is maybe ocd in some way? Some of the things he does and says, his little manerisms made me curious.

Anonymous said: does tmtts isak have ocd

Anonymous said: Does Isak have OCD? The shoe thing like that anon said and then always tapping on the fish tank three times. The obsession with Orion’s Belt (the three stars) and repeating their names. It could be a response to some childhood trauma or abuse maybe? Damn now I need to reread everything. What a hardship ;)

mildly! his symptoms are just that – repetitive thoughts and actions – but they don’t interfere with his every-day life, or hinder it, at that. it stems from his depression, and manifests itself in the form of anxiety, hence, ocd tendencies.

talking about abusive women, especially abusive mothers & abusive women in lesbian relationships, acknowledging the reality that women can be abusive, acting in solidarity with & having compassion or empathy for women and other people who have been abused by women, arguing against things that seem to imply that women or that relationships between women can never be abusive, protecting chlidren, working to name and eradicate things that foster abuse in our own communities: good

only bringing up abusive women as a “gotcha” when abusive men or the role of patriarchy in abuse are being talked about, denying the fact that patriarchy fosters the abuse of women by men, misrepresenting the rate at which women are abusive as if it at all approaches the rate at which men are abusive, acting like it’s somehow easier for women to get away with abusing men, as if men who abuse women are universally condemned by society & the law rather than being bolstered and supported by both, denying the fact that everything is against women who are being or have been abused by men from the get-go, denying the fact that men who have been abused by women in intimate partner relationships are rare and the vast majority of men who claim to have been abused by women in fact abused those women: bad

How I feel about “cycle”

i am in love with art school graffiti tracer
(there’s a colour breakdown of this piece on my patreon!)

It may be true that everyone deserves a chance, and that everyone also deserves a second chance. But you don’t have to be the person that gives them those chances. If your instincts say no then that’s enough. Life is full of chances. Let it go and let them find their chance somewhere else. Don’t lose your own chances because you keep giving them away to someone who wastes them.

You deserve a chance too.

DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME DON’T TOUCH ME

Fun fact!! cishet male survivors of abuse are just as deserving of love, comfort, understanding, and recovery as the rest of us. Privilege doesn’t negate trauma.

hey i’ve seen a bunch of j*hanna//the/mad on my dash lately and here’s a reminder she ships sh//eith (a ~25yo and a 16yo) and draws g/nderbends (i’m sure there’s more but that’s all i can remember off the top of my head)

8
Abused Omega Headcanons

-Omegas that have been abused or taken advantage of by Alphas becoming extremely tense and paranoid before and during their heats. Staying safely locked in their homes, curled up in their nest and constantly worrying about a stranger Alpha catching their scent and finding a way in

-Omegas using suppressants and scent blockers to hide their dynamic because they think that being an Omega is what got them stuck with an abusive Alpha to begin with, so they slowly start to become bitter and resentful about their dynamic

-An Omega meeting with an Alpha for the first time since they got out of an abusive relationship and their Beta best friend being extremely protective. Insisting on chaperoning the first date, low-key rubbing their scent on the Omega and practically interrogating the Alpha all through dinner

-An Omega that was abused by an Alpha becoming very skittish around stranger Alphas and avoiding them whenever possible

-An Omega cleaning out their closet and panicking when they catch a hint of their past abuser’s scent, frantically digging until they pull out one of the Alpha’s old shirts, picking it up with shaky hands before rushing out to throw it in the dumpster. Opening up their bedroom windows to try and get every trace of the offending scent away from their room and more importantly, their nest

-An Omega that was abused feeling inexplicably anxious whenever they realize that they are becoming close to someone and therefore opening themselves up to be hurt or controlled again

-An Omega having a nightmare about their past abuser and feeling absolutely terrified of the restrictive arms wrapped around them until they slowly begin to register the calming scent and deep crooning that surrounds them and reminds them that they are free and safe and tucked warmly into bed with their new Alpha who has only ever treated them with love and kindness and they slowly fall back into a peaceful sleep

-An Omega struggling to trust people whose scents are at all similar to that of their past abuser’s

-Omegas that have been abused being extremely careful in their interactions with Alphas because they don’t want to give an Alpha any reason to pursue them or think they want attention from them

-An Omega that was once abused by an Alpha becoming paranoid about not only their own relationships but those of their Omega friends as well. Desperate to prevent anyone else going through what they went through

-An Omega that was once in an abusive relationship but now lives with a kind Alpha and feels terrible because they go through phases in which they feel the need to hide away and avoid the Alpha because they were so used to doing it before, the Alpha being very understanding and assuring the Omega that they will work through it over time

-An Omega being all settled with a book on the couch while their Alpha is on the phone working, the Alpha getting upset about something and their angry pheromones rolling off them in waves and the Omega knows that it isn’t directed at them but that doesn’t stop the stab of terror in their chest or the way they tumble off the couch and race to the nearest closet where they lock themselves in while struggling for air and trying to tune out the distant shouts of the angry Alpha that reminds them just a bit too much of past events…the Alpha finally ending their call and belatedly noticing the potent scent of fear in the air lessened only by the overwhelming stench of their own annoyance and frustration. Panicking slightly as they set off to find their Omega that they know reacts badly to anger because of their abusive past and feeling absolutely horrible when they hear the whimpering and choked sobs coming from behind the locked door. The rest of the night is spent apologising and crooning until they fall asleep on opposite sides of the door…the Alpha spends the next day coddling their Omega and reassuring them that they would never do anything to hurt them even if they get mad about something

-An Alpha platonically scenting their Omega friend when they go out places because the Omega was once abused by an Alpha and is now afraid of even being approached by one

-An Alpha being in love with their Omega best friend but not being able to do much about it because the Omega has been abused by Alphas before and is always very outspoken about how they will never want one now. So the Alpha focuses on being a good friend and providing support and comfort as the Omega works through their past, and eventually the Omega realizes that they’ve never felt a shred of fear when the other is around. The Omega timidly suggesting the idea of a relationship to the Alpha and promptly dissolving into tears as the Alpha sweeps them into a hug and tells them how much they’ve always loved them and sincerely promises to always make the Omega feel safe and protected

-An Omega being afraid of Alphas after getting out of an abusive relationship and begging their older Alpha sibling to go with them when they have to go out somewhere, the Alpha acting all reluctant but agreeing to accompany them…they had been secretly planing to follow their younger Omega sibling anyway, just to be safe…

-An Omega that was once abused by an Alpha and is now absolutely terrified of them, passing a group of them in a store and instantly getting all tense and distressed until another Omega walks up to them and gently leads them away from the now very antsy group of Alphas, all of which are resisting the urge to follow and comfort the distressed Omega

me, last night when I thought my best friend was abandoning me: I hate her and she’s the worst person ever and I’m never going to speak to her again so she’s knows how I feel!!
my best friend, this morning: hey, wanna hang out today
me, now: 💖💖💖💕💕💕❤❤😍😍😍😍✨✨❤❤💕😍😍💖💓😍💓💘💘😍💞💖💕💛💟😍💜❣💙💓💚💓💕❤😍😍💕💘😍💗 YES!!! ABSOLUTELY!! LET ME CLEAR MY SCHEDULE!!