Trevor turned towards you and put one hand on your shoulder. “Do you think that’s Waluigi?” he asked.
Loud and agressive bass noises came from the other room. “Look,” Trevor said. “I know Chris said not to follow, but I think we have to help him,” he said.
He strapped on his guitar and passed you a wand made of a Jacaranda branch. You walked into the next room, with Trevor in front of you.
Standing in front of you was Chris….. and The Geddling himself. Geddy played his bass faster and faster, and Chris kept trying to outpace him.
Soon, this great battle of the basses became a bass jam as Geddy and Chris’s basses harmonized with eachother. Jam jars materialized from the sound of the basses, and Trevor went to pick one up.
“Stop it,” said Chris. “It’s a trap!”
“Oh come on buddy it’s just a jam jar!” said Trevor. He opened up the jar of Smuckers™ brand blueberry jam, and the sound of a minimoog screeched out.
Chris was afraid. “I told you about those jam jars!”
Trevor opened up a strawberry jam jar. This time, the sound of a hammond organ roared out. “It keeps happening,” Trevor shouted.
“I warned you!” cried Chris.
Suddenly, Geddy ceased playing his bass and threw himself on the floor in front of Trevor.
“I heard your voice from afar. You expressed that you really DO care about synth,” he said. “I came for you. Please accept these jam jars. They contain all my feelings.”
He cried in front of Trevor. Trevor fell over and cried beside him. More jam jars started appearing and stacking all around the room. You realized that you were on the floor. All you could taste was jam, even though you didn’t even eat any. You were crying. Chris was on the floor crying too.
You realized quick that tears aren’t the solution. “H-hey,” you whimper out. “Can we have another bedtime story?” you said.
“That’s a good idea,” said Chris.
Trevor perked up. “May I read this time?”
“Sure,” Chris said.
“I’ll bring some bread products so we can eat the jam with it,” said Geddy.
The four of you went back to your bedroom and sat on your bed. Geddy picked up Chris’s bass and played a few notes. Hundreds of warm, toasted bread products of all sorts piled up in your hands.
“Thank you,” says Chris.
Trevor pulled a book out of the pile of books. “This one is about two guys called Tony. They play the synth, they make the noise, and they go to space,” he says. “I’m sure this will make you feel better, Ged.”
“Sounds like a great story,” Geddy said.
And thus, you ate jam and hundreds of warm bread products while Trevor read the tale to you all. All was well.
im laughing alone in my room like a Fucking idiot this is beautiful thank u ,,,,,,,,, my favorite part is that trevor is worried about waluigi
For those of you that don’t know, Net Neutrality is under attack again. So here’s a list of the names of the leading people in the companies that are attacking it. [2/?]
Please note that if anything is wrong with this list as of time of posting (7/12/2017), all of these names were pulled directly from the representative sites themselves. If they are wrong, it is because the companies/organizations themselves have posted them incorrectly.
Lowell C. McAdam Chairman and Chief Executive Officer
Martin Burvill Senior Vice President and Group President Verizon Business Markets
Eric Cevis President - Verizon Partner Solutions
Roy H. Chestnutt Executive Vice President and Chief Strategy Officer
Kenneth Dixon Senior Vice President & Group President - Consumer Sales & Service (PFFFFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHAHACUSTOMERSERVICEMYASS)
Ronan Dunne Executive Vice President and Group President of Verizon Wireless
Matthew D. Ellis Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer
Tami Erwin Executive Vice President - Wireless Operations
George Fischer Senior Vice President and Group President – Verizon Enterprise Solutions
James J. Gerace Chief Communications Officer
Roger Gurnani Executive Vice President and Chief Information and Technology Architect
Marc C. Reed Executive Vice President and Chief Administrative Officer
Diego Scotti Executive Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer
Craig Silliman Executive Vice President – Public Policy and General Counsel
David Small Executive Vice President - Wireline Network Operations
John G. Stratton Executive Vice President and President of Customer and Product Operations
Hans Vestberg Executive Vice President and President of Network and Technology
Marni M. Walden Executive Vice President and President-Global Media
How do you think the amnesia arc could have been handled better?
Well this turned into an essay, so buckle down, y’all.
Every event has fallout, right? That’s how stories work; they’re cause to effect. The biggest problem I have with the amnesia storyline is that Bruce dropping off the board should have had a massive effect… but it didn’t. For a story that dragged on for a considerable amount of time, very little happened.
According to Batman #49, Bruce was amnesiac for months within his own universe. During that time, he worked quietly at the Fox Center, lived with Julie, and got engaged. That’s about it. Thing is, all of that feels very fake when you think about Bruce’s various roles, both as Batman and as Bruce Wayne.
I think the Batman bit was handled alright. There was a scene with Superman that pretty clearly explained why Bruce would never be Batman again. (Obviously that’s no longer the case, but it was reasonable at the time.) Commissioner Gordon took over as Batman in public, so the city was still protected.
BUT (wait for it)… Bruce Wayne is more than Batman. It’s incredibly unrealistic to pitch the sudden social disappearance of a man who is both a local celebrity and a father. Especially the father bit. More later.
The amnesia storyline just didn’t explain much, and the lack of detail detracted from the story as a whole. We’re given the impression that Bruce knew nothing about his life past the age of twenty-something– whenever he became Batman– because that’s where Alfred stopped telling the story. And he managed to keep that ignorance for the entire arc.
Unless I’m supposed to believe that Bruce magically avoided any form of casual conversation for months, that doesn’t work for me. Even if we completely remove the superhero dimension, Bruce has social responsibilities that he can’t escape. Yes, I am talking about his family.
I refuse to believe that Bruce could live for months without learning about his children, especially when 1) one of them was recently outed as a superhero on national television 2) the Wayne family is canonically prominent in Gotham, and 3) two of them are minors. Anyone that knows Bruce knows about his kids, including the woman that he was literally going to marry. You can’t tell me that didn’t come up.
You also can’t tell me that Bruce, after learning he had children, would decline to reach out– yet not once in the entire storyline did he so much as mention them. So did he know? Did he not know? Either way, it’s unrealistic, but without even an attempt to explain, it just seems ridiculous. That’s what I think of the amnesia arc: ridiculous.
I understand that the writers had very limited space for Bruce’s narrative, but had they put a little more detail into it, the story would have been much stronger. The reality of the situation is that you can’t write about Batman while ignoring his family. It’s not possible. At every cause you have to ask yourself– how will this affect the others? And the amnesia arc never addressed that.
It’s not just an explanation that’s missing. It’s also the emotional impact. In the what, five? months that I’ve been dealing with the amnesia arc, I have never for one second had to take it seriously. There was never any pack to the punch. Sure, I can (anddid) make myself sad about it, but that emotion had to come from me because the comics barely tried. One scene in Grayson. Two seconds in Red Hood/Arsenal. The only good moment came from RSOB #9, which wasn’t published until after Bruce had already been cured.
Laying aside my own preference for family story lines, had the amnesia arc crossed quickly into more bat titles, the story would have benefitted from it. Even a mediocre plot can become compelling if it makes you feel. I love to suffer. Humans love to suffer. By limiting the supporting cast to Alfred, a civilian (Julie), and two very new characters (Julia Pennyworth, Duke Thomas), the writers removed what might have redeemed the story– the emotion.
Without that emotion, the story is at best a quick “hey that’s cool” and at worst a plot-hole ridden mess.