solluxxfeferi

Nepeta and Karkat: Discuss troll romance

▼: :33 < *ac energetically pouncegr33ts her new visitor*
▲: UGH. HI, NEPETA.
▼: :33 < hi karkitty
▲: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
▼: :33 < oh not much just exploring the lab
▼: :33 < why is there something else im supposed to be doing?
▲: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. IS THERE LITERALLY ANYTHING YOU OR FOR THAT MATTER ANY OF US CAN DO TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE? JUST MAKE SURE NOT TO TRIP WITH ANYONE’S FUCKING PILE, THAT’S THE LAST THING WE NEED.
▼: :33 < alright then f33rless leader i shall try as hard as i pawsibly can not to trip into any piles
▲: I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU’RE FUCKING MOCKING ME OR NOT.
▼: :33 < why would i mock you?
▼: :33 < thats terezis thing
▼: :33 < shes always making fun of you
▲: GOOD POINT. ACTUALLY THAT’S THE BEST FUCKING POINT IN THE WORLD. ALL THE OTHER POINTS FEEL SHAME WHEN THEY THINK ABOUT THAT POINT.
▲: WHY WOULD ANYONE MOCK MY LEADERSHIP SKILLS?
▲: TEREZI IS INSANE, THAT’S WHAT SHE IS.
▼: :33 < you finally see what ive b33n saying all along
▼: :33 < im so purroud of you karkitty!
▲: THERE NEVER WAS ANY DOUBT IN MY THINKING PAN THAT TEREZI WAS COMPLETELY BONKERS.
▼: :33 < couldve fooled me
▲: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
▼: :33 < um
▼: :33 < well
▼: :33 < i may have gotten a bit of an impression that you were just a bit flushed for her
▼: :33 < maybe
▼: :33 < and by just a bit i mean very
▼: :33 < very very very flushed and i didnt understand it at all
▼: :33 < but im glad to h33r that you arent
▲: WHAT? NO! KEEP ME OFF YOUR SHIPPING WALL. FUCK, WHY IS EVERYONE SUDDENLY THINKING WITH THEIR PAILS? IT’S LIKE IT’S IMPERIAL DRONE SEASON AND EVERYONE’S FUCKING RUSHING TO FILL THEIR QUADRANTS LIKE WIGGLERS RUSH TO RUN AWAY FROM THE GREAT ANNIHILATOR.
▼: :33 < what
▼: :33 < karkitty what makes you think this has anything to do with pails?
▼: :33 < im just glad you arent trying to get into a relationship that very very obviously wouldnt work
▲: DAMN RIGHT IT WOULDN’T. I DON’T WANT TO BUMP UGLIES WITH A INSANE, HANGING-FETISHIST BLIND HAG.
▼: :33 < exactly!
▲: SHE’S HORN OVER HEELS FOR THAT STUPID COOLKID GUY, ANYWAY. THEY WANT TO BE IRONIC SHADES BUDDIES OR SOMETHING.
▼: :33 < yeah! let her have that annoying human
▼: :33 < its what she deserves
▲: YEAH!
▼: :33 < um
▼: :33 < can i ask you a question karkitty?
▲: OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN, SINCE YOU JUST ASKED ME ONE.
▼: :33 < well
▼: :33 < if you were flushed for someone
▼: :33 < who would it be?
▲: I… WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? THAT’S PERSONAL! DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO KEEP ME OFF YOUR SHIPPING WALL?
▼: :33 < im just asking out of random friendly curiosity!
▼: :33 < fine then lets talk about something else!
▲: THAT’S A FUCKING UNFAIR QUESTION, THOUGH. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO I’D BE FLUSHED FOR IN THE HYPOTHETICAL CASE THAT I HAD ANY REDROM FEELINGS FOR ANOTHER TROLL? MY IMAGINATION DOESN’T STRETCH THAT FAR.
▼: :33 < so youre not flushed for anyone is what youre saying
▼: :33 < okay
▲: I HAVE NO CONCUPISCENT FEELINGS, RED OR OTHERWISE. WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT ANYWAY? ALL MOTHER GRUBS DIED WITH OUR PLANET.
▼: :33 < guh
▼: :33 < romance isnt just about filling pails you know!
▲: …YEAH. I DO.
▲: IT’S JUST, FUCK. IT USED TO BE THIS FUCKING RACE TO FINISH. SWAP GENETIC MATERIAL OR GET CULLED. AND NOW ALL OF SUDDEN WE’RE STUCK IN THIS PLACE, THERE ARE NO IMPERIAL DRONES TO WORRY ABOUT, AND SUDDENLY WE CAN FUCKING RELAX AND TAKE IT EASY FOR A WHILE.
▲: SUDDENLY IT DOESN’T MATTER IF PEOPLE SUCK AT HATING YOU OR IF YOU’RE NOT PITEABLE ENOUGH.
▲: HAVE I OFFENDED YOU?
▼: :33 < no
▼: :33 < you have a point
▼: :33 < although i wasnt trying to say it was super important
▼: :33 < its just that when you find someone you f33l that strongly about
▼: :33 < its a r33ly nice f33ling
▲: I THINK MY STANDARDS FOR HATE ARE TOO FUCKING HIGH FROM ALL THOSE ROMCOMS. EVERYONE HATES IN A LOCAL SCALE. I HATE IN A UNIVERSAL SCALE, WITH THE STRENGHT OF A FUCKING CONSTELLATION OF GREEN FUCKING STARS.
▼: :33 < and i think everyone ought to f33l that
▲: MMPH.
▼: :33 < what about love?
▲: REDROM?
▼: :33 < yeah
▲: WELL, I DON’T SEE TROLLS AND HUMANS ALIKE RUSHING TO GET IN QUEUE TO GET A PIECE OF MY SWEET, SWEET PITY.
▼: :33 < so?
▼: :33 < you shouldn’t need a hundred options just to make you consider redrom
▼: :33 < isnt just one enough?
▲: ONLY IF THEY’RE THE RIGHT ONE.
▼: :33 < and how will you ever know that if you dont give them a chance?
▲: UHM.
▲: CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?
▼: :33 < of course
▼: :33 < im the best at secretk33ping
▲: JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON’T GO AROUND SPREADING IT LIKE IT’S GRUB SAUCE AND THIS IS AN HAMBURGER PARTY.
▼: :33 < i would never do that karkitty!
▼: :33 < your secret is safe with me!
▲: SPECIALLY DON’T TELL TEREZI, SHE WOULDN’T FUCKING LET ME LIVE IT DOWN.
▼: :33 < just get on with it already!
▲: OKAY. HERE IT COMES. WHEN I SAW THAT JOHN HUMAN I… I HATED HIM THE INSTANT I SAW HIM.
▲: I COULDN’T HELP IT. HE HAD THOSE FUCKING STUPID BLUNT FANGS AND THAT STUPID HAIR AND HE KEPT WATCHING THOSE STUPID MOVIES ABOUT THAT HUMAN ACTOR THAT HAS VRISKA WEETING HER SEEDFLAP OVER. AND HE STOLE OUR PRIZE FROM US. HOW COULDN’T I FUCKING HATE HIM?
▼: :33 < i guess that makes sense
▲: IN THE END IT DIDN’T AMMOUNT TO ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE FUCKING NOOKSNIFFER DIDN’T HATE ME BACK. STUPID HUMANS.
▼: :33 < i dont think they r33ly have hate as an emotion
▼: :33 < its not his fault
▼: :33 < dont let it get to you
▲: THAT’S THE WORST PART. IDIOTIC BACKWARDS SPECIES. UGH, HOW I HATE HIM.
▲: BUT MAYBE THAT’S WHAT ROMANCE SHOULD BE. SUDDEN AND DESPERATE. NEPETA, DO YOU BELIEVE IN PITY AT FIRST SIGHT?
▼: :33 < um
▼: :33 < yeah
▲: ME TOO, I THINK.
▼: :33 < oh?
▲: YEAH. THIS IS USUALLY WHEN MOST TROLLS THEY TELL ME I’VE WATCHED TOO MANY ROMCOMS.
▼: :33 < i was about to ask if it was because of your romcoms
▼: :33 < or
▼: :33 < if it was because youve experienced it yourself?
▲: WELL, I EXPERIENCED HATE AT FIRST SIGHT WITH THE EGBERT HUMAN. I SUPPOSE THE OPPOSITE SCENARIO COULD HAPPEN, TOO.
▼: :33 < i guess
▲: …
▲: I MANAGED TO SALVAGE SOME OF ROMCOMS.
▲: *OF MY
▼: :33 < cool
▲: IF YOU WANT
▲: …
▲: WE COULD WATCH SOME TOGETHER? YOU ARE VERY INTERESTED IN ROMANCE, AREN’T YOU? I THINK YOU’D ENJOY THEM.
▼: :33 < i’ve never r33ly seen any movies before
▼: :33 < i think i would enjoy that
▲: NOT LIKE THE OTHERS. THEY COULDN’T RECOGNIZE A FUCKING MASTER PIECE IF IT BIT THEM IN THE BULGE.
▲: OKAY
▲: MAYBE AFTER WE FIX THIS? IF WE EVER FUCKING FIX IT, THAT’S IT.
▼: :33 < um karkitty?
▲: YES?
▼: :33 < this watching movies together thing
▼: :33 < is this a date?
▲: I
▲: FUCK, I DON’T KNOW.
▲: CAN WE CALL IT… A PRE-PRE-DATE?
▲: IF WE THE EVENING DOESN’T END WITH US GOING ALL MURDEROUS ON EACH OTHER, WE CAN THINK OF HAVING A PRE-DATE.
▼: :33 < i r33ly dont think it would end with us getting murderous, but okay
▼: :33 < pre-pre-date it is
▲: WE HAVE BARELY TALKED IN PERSON. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME.
▼: :33 < okay
▼: :33 < i still r33ly dont think id get murderous on you at least
▲: WE’LL SEE.
▼: :33 < i guess we will
▲: ANYWAY, I HAVE TO GO. WE HAVE A SMALL SITUATION OVER HERE. SOLLUX AND FEFERI LOOK LIKE THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET OUT A BUCKET AND ERIDAN IS HAVING AN ANEURISM.
▲: FUCKING FISH PRINCE CAN’T SHUT UP.
▼: :33 < well ill let you d33l with that then
▼: :33 < s33 you later karkitty!
▲: SEE YOU LATER. I’LL LOOK FORWARD TO OUR, UHM. PRE-DATE.
▼: :33 < me too
▼: :33 < <3