solid noses

1/7/2017-1/9/2017 Soup-Nose The Goat has some swelling under her jaw. We suspect bottlejaw (fluid retention caused by anemia). Anemia in goats is usually a parasite issue, so we wormed her, and I drove to the hippie feed store and bought some of the fancy organic sweetfeed to try and convince her to eat a bunch of delicious nutrition. Even Soup Nose’s Olympic-class food fussiness is no match for sweetfeed.

Sweetfeed is made of corn, molasses, oats, various trace vitamins, and tiny shavings from a shining blue meteor that landed in the Darkhad Valley in Mongolia in 1953. The workers who harvest the meteor cover their ears so they can’t hear it singing to them.

Sweetfeed smells amazing. I have genuinely considered cooking it like oatmeal and eating it myself. My google history is full of searches for cornflake and molasses cookies, gingerbread cornmeal cookies, something, anything. Internet forums are thronged with people wondering how to make moonshine out of it. It smells like molasses and raisins and cornbread and coming home to the family you never knew you had after a long time wandering in the dusty dark between worlds.

We have to keep a brick on top of the bin with sweetfeed in it, because otherwise the feral cats sneak into the barn and eat it. 

The cats try to eat goat food.

(Seriously. I tell a lot of lies on this blog. That is not one of the lies. It’s uncanny stuff.

Also, if you know any recipes that involve molasses and cornflakes, please send them to me, the smell is driving me mad.)

Ocelot: Talk dirty to me ;^))

Big Boss: You ejected the first bullet by hand, didn’t you? I see what you were trying to do, but testing a technique you’ve only heard about in the middle of battle wasn’t very smart. You were asking to have your gun jam on you. Besides, I don’t think you’re cut out for an automatic in the first place; you tend to twist your elbow a little to absorb the recoil. That’s more of a revolver technique. 

Ocelot: haha then what? ;^)


tell me more about jay halstead’s past [9/∞]

I suddenly feel inspired to make American Girl style reviews and stories about the cats at the shelter where I volunteer. 

Mister Friendly Learns a Lesson
Changes for Twig
Bootsie’s Surprise

“Ruby has the old style classic body that I’m calling ‘the Percy body’ but with lighter coloring, gray instead of the black we see on the Percy model.  Her color is more like #44 Luis.  You can change her wig for summer to look more dusty, but it is impossible to brush out; you just have to wait for the self-cleaning mechanism to take care of it.  Unique features include a solid black nose and an asymmetrical white mouth which looks realistic, because not everyone in real life is symmetrical.  If you have a Percy or a Luis but want some variation, Ruby is a worthwhile option.”

So I have a picture in my head:

Andrew with his back to the wall in bed. Neil facing him most nights with space between them. Its canon that Neil is a still sleeper, so there isn’t drifting between them. But Andrew always wakes up first and watches Neil’s face. So most days Neil wakes up and it’s Andrew’s eyes he sees first thing. Sometimes they reach out and touch, other times they just hang out for a minute and get up for the day. The nights that Neil faces away from him, Andrew presses himself all along his back. He doesn’t hold on to Neil but Neil can feel every part of him against him. Solid. Immovable. Andrew’s nose pressed lightly to his neck. They don’t ever do anything. Because their in a room with 3 other people. 


When they do have nights alone, when they take one of their drives or crash at the house in Columbia for the weekend without the others, it changes a bit. It changes because during those times it’s not straight to bed for sleep, it’s falling. It’s being pushed down. It’s laying for hours kissing and touching and harsh breathing and whispered words. It’s hot. It’s a little sweaty and 80% more nudity. It’s getting lost and being found and drowning and dying of thirst and yes and always and more. It’s the world breaking apart. The world standing still. So when time restarts and they lay there on their backs panting, Neil turns his head to kiss Andrew’s shoulder. He stays there for a bit, eyes closed, leveling his breathing. Andrew will pull him by the neck to lay Neil’s cheek on that shoulder. And maybe his hand wraps around Neil’s back. And everything is quite and it’s just the two of them, so they fall asleep to the feel of each others heartbeats. 


The Thousand Camel Festival will begin March 5! There are camel races, games of camel polo, and a camel beauty pageant where people brush and style the camel fur and dress them up in colorful silk harnesses. The winner of the camel beauty pageant gets a solid silver camel nose-piercing.

The Thousand Camel Festival is not a traditional Mongolian holiday, it was created recently to encourage herders to keep raising camels (a lot of people are switching to cashmere goats, camel wool is harder to sell) and to encourage winter tourism.