In old karate, you learned your art through pain. You learned quickly that your techniques had to be fast or powerful or both. If you did not embrace pain and it’s lessons adequately, you simply did not survive
You were starring out of the window, watching the busy city below the gloomy sky. To be honest you don’t even know in what city you were in anymore. You were sat on the corner of the white undone hotel bed, tears in your red eyes, you felt numb, you couldn’t feel the pain anymore. It was like if you cried the pain away.
You were startled a bit when you here a small beeping behind you. You kept your back facing the door knowing it was Shawn sliding the card to get in the room. It was pretty hard keeping your sobs in, even though you were biting your lip to not let any ascape.
‘‘Babe, i thought you were still asl- ‘‘ He pauses while he decovers the tears running down you cheeks. Rapidly, he sits next to you, bringing you in his arms and hugging you. You can’t help it anymore and beakdown in a crying mess, right there, in his arms.
‘‘Shhh. Everything is alright, your okay darling, I’m right here.’‘ he says in a soothing voice in atemps to call you down, wich he did succeed. ‘‘Talk to me y/n, tell me what’s in thats pretty haed of yours’‘.
You look up from his chest in to his eyes, they were full of worry and confusion.
You hop off his lap and let go of his embrace, leaving a few soked spots on his t-shirt. You get up and walk to your suit case that was layed on the other side of the hotel bed and reach for a white envalope and hand it to him.
He grabs it looking at you. ”What is this?” he says.
‘’Just read it please.’’ you say , coming out in a sorta begging tone. You grab his hand in yours , while he reads the letter. His eyes scans the whole paper before reading it in his mind. You kiss his knuckles while little, almost silent sobs come out your pink lips.
When he finishes reading, he let’s his hand with the letter drop to his lap. He turns to you with a cape of tears covering his eyes. He wasn’t cry *yet*. He let’s out a rough and shaky breath out and opens his mouth with trouble letting the words out, he says. ‘’Why didn’t tell me about this?’’. Now with a tear streaming down his right cheek.
You shrug “I guess it’s not not easy to tell the person you love the most that you have breast cancer.”
“Do you have a nother doctor’s apointment?” he asks. you wrinkle your forhead in cofusion , but you still answer nodding your head yes.
“I’m going” you look at him . “You are not going to go thru this alone, y/n.”
“But you have tour an- “ he cuts you off ‘’You are not gonna go thru this alone y/n. Don’t worry about tour right now, you are way more important, you are the most precious thing I have and I am not gonna let you go.” he says breaking in tears at the end. You hug him really tight and let him cry in your chest, like you have multiple time on his.
I’ve been very busy getting into the swing of running the dojo since the loss of my sensei and mentor to post regularly but here’s something special that has happened some months ago…. This is actually supposed to be completely phased out of the Bujinkan but because of what’s happened the yushu shihan that is helping guide our direction under Japan went to Grandmaster Hatsumi Sensei in person and he has granted myself and one other in my Dojo THE LAST Shidoshi-ho licences in the Bujinkan hand written by Soke Hatsumi to be issued due to the circumstances! This is by far the greatest honour I’ve received, one I hope to live up to this piece history I’ve been been given.