socks in sandals

infinity war part 2 opens with Valkyrie crash-landing back on the dumpster planet to let Jeff Goldblum know that someone’s been fucking with his #1 twink, followed by two and a half hours of Jeff Goldblum smacking Thanos down while everyone else looks on in awe and reluctantly admits that Loki’s self-preserving slutiness really did pay off in the end 

Also being a scientist pretty much gives you a free pass to be as eccentric as you want like you’ll be at a conference and it’s like “is that guy wearing socks and sandals and plaid pants???” “Ya but he was on the team that discovered gravitational waves let him be”

SOULMATE AU WHERE YOUR TATTOO SHOWS THE FIRST THING YOUR SOULMATE THOUGHT WHEN THEY SAW YOU. 

EXAMPLES: 

“dear lord I want his babies”

“why are they staring at me”

“FANFICTION BLUE EYES”

“they’re wearing socks with sandals that’s disgusting”

“who the hell drinks coffee with a straw”

“i have to think something sexy at them. oh wait did that count. thats so embarassing they better not be my soulmate.” 

“leARN TO USE A TURN SIGNAL, MOTHERHUGGER” 

wade wilson is such a treasure like he wears socks with sandals and kitten shirts and likes my little pony and wears heels to kill horrible men and he called out xmen’s sexism and racism and he has an adventure time watch and a hello kitty gym bag and he suffers from clinical depression and mania and he enjoys being pegged  and being submissive and he just has so much love to give but doesn’t think he’s deserving of love himself and he supported negasonic and yukio’s relationship and he doesn’t put up with people being abused or hurt and he called peter sugarbear and told him that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to him when peter was scared and he was so gentle when he saw the bruises on russell’s neck an-