Because fuck you society and your unrealistic expectations on what women’s bodies should look like.
I know I shouldn’t compare my body to anyone else’s body. I also know that I should never be ashamed of my body’s appearance. And yet, that’s what I do and that’s how I feel, all because of society’s unrealistic standards of beauty that we see everywhere in the media.
Almost every woman you see on magazine covers, on posters, in commercials etc. has this “perfect” body. That always includes flawless skin, a tiny waist, no stomach rolls, no cellulites and so on.
These ideals however, are not even a tiny bit realistic. All of these women are being photoshopped so that they can match society’s expectations and standards of beauty.
I post this today to say fuck society’s beauty standards. Fuck the ideals and expectations.
This is so cliché, but everyBODY is beautiful, because who gets to decide what’s beautiful or not?
Take care of and try to love your body as it is. At least that’s what I’m gonna try to do.
I just read that Daiya has been bought by a company called Otsuka, and like most pharmaceutical brands out there they test on animals. I'm really bummed out about it, but at the same time I'm kind of conflicted. Like on the one hand it's the only vegan cheese brand I can get my hands on (unless I can order some from down in the states up here) but then on the other hand it's now parent company isn't vegan.
I think in a capitalist society it’s unrealistic to expect anyone to support only fully vegan brands. The success of brands like Daiya have shown companies that there is a real demand for vegan options, and supporting them has resulted in veganism being easier and more accessible for far more people. Besides, if you look at any vegan company, you’ll find either their parent companies aren’t vegan, their CEOs aren’t or their shareholders aren’t. These companies don’t exist to help animals, they’re all about profits, in the end they’re just fulfilling a market demand and that’s something we need to be realistic about.
If you would rather not support them in their current state I can understand that, and if you are in a position to be able to exclusively support vegan brands then you should do that, but if you’re not then don’t beat yourself up about it. Supporting vegan options from non-vegan companies can be a very good thing, and it’s something most of us have no choice about regardless.
Bo Burnham is literally one of the most amazing musical artists I’ve ever come across. I first found him when I saw his song “Kill yourself” in my recommendations on YouTube. I thought it was funny and I didn’t know he had more songs. Then I found his show called “what.” It was funny, scary, horrible, amazing, and it left me in tears (of joy) when I finished. Songs like Repeat Stuff and Left Brain Right Brain were really powerful to me, even if they seem like silly joke songs to any other person. His songs talk about how society brainwashes people with pop culture and how society has unrealistic expectations for men and women. They talk about depression, anxiety, religion, society, racism, sexism, and so much more. I cried at the end of Make Happy because of the song called “Can’t Handle This”. In it, he metaphorically talks about how he wouldn’t have done half of the stuff he’s done if he knew it would lead him to the point of life he’s at now. He talks about depression and happiness and how he’s not content with himself. All of this in a 7 minute ling Chipotle metaphor. I think the most powerful lyric he’s ever written (in my opinion of course) is toward the end of “Can’t Handle This”. He says:
come and watch the
skinny kid with a
steadily declining mental health
and laugh as he attempts
to give you what he cannot give himself
I really thought about this part for a long time. It really affected me. Partly because, well, it’s the truth. In “Left Brain Right Brain” he talks about how he’s so unhappy and he decides to pursue comedy to help himself become happy again. That comes back again at the end of Make Happy in “Can’t Handle This”. He talks about how he gives other people happiness but he can’t give it to himself. There are so many other things I could say about Bo Burnham but I just don’t have time to fit all of my opinions and feelings into one post so I’m just gonna end it off here. Please, for the love of God, go listen to Bo Burnham. Go watch his shows. It’s an amazing experience and I promise you won’t regret it.
“The only way to accept yourself, is to embrace yourself. Embrace the fact that you don’t look like the model on the cover of a magazine, embrace that your skin is flawed, embrace the fact that you are perfectly you. It’s easier said that done. I know it can be very hard to accept ourselves when our thoughts are consuming of are happiness. We are steadily comparing ourselves to others and ruining our self esteems. Society puts such unrealistic expectations on the word beautiful. Beauty to me is imperfections that make you who you are and unlike anyone else. That is the amazing thing about life. We all have our strong and weak points and that’s what makes us all beautiful and human.”
Why is the percentage of kids diagnosed with ADHD so high in places like America, but almost 0 in places like France?
An important thing to understand about mental illness is that it’s defined in relation to the society in which the patient lives. Some cultures may regard ADHD as a personality trait, and some cultures may recognize the cluster of symptoms as being a distinct “thing”, but due to the way the society is set up it isn’t a “disorder.” For anything to qualify as a mental disorder it has to interfere significantly with your life.
I’m a good example. I sailed through high school and college without trying, earning decent grades just by paying attention to lectures and turning in reasonably good work on time. I was chronically disorganized, but thought of it as a personality trait; my thoughts are structured in a weird way and I make connections between things that others don’t see. I thought I was just weird.
Well, around 30 I entered grad school and went to a counselor because I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed, and wanted to figure out how to cope with that. Also I had some historical shit to work out. But, when I was describing my situation he suggested ADD as a possibility and referred me out for diagnosis. Sure enough, I’ve got ADD-PI, the non-hyperactive type of ADD. Although I can see it everywhere in my life up to now, it was never clearly the cause of my problems earlier on. I was able to brute force my way through school on raw intelligence and an ability to sponge up info from lectures.
That wasn’t enough for my current program, which has us taking 7 classes at once in topics ranging from “Pathology of musculoskeletal disorders” or “Clinical management of cardiopulmonary disorders” to statistical analysis & how to read an academic paper. There was one day when we started the morning learning massage techniques and ended the day with an overview of medications for diabetes. There’s no way in hell a person with undiagnosed ADD can do well without other aspects of their life going to shit.
Now, I mentioned that other societies are set up differently and the cognitive differences exhibited by an ADD-type person might have a place in that society. From what I’ve heard, France doesn’t have the expectation that everyone should get a University degree. Trade schools are an option available some time around or after High School, and are completely socially acceptable. A person with high dexterity, excellent spatial skills, but maybe little patience for things like reading and classroom lectures would be able to find a place early on where they could learn by doing, in a hands-on and active environment. In the US, though, Everyone Must Get A BA Or They’re Doomedtmso anything that stands in the way of that rises to the level of Disorder.
Also, and this is a bit of a random aside, the reason people think ADD is overdiagnosed is that the disorder has a name that sounds descriptive but is totally inaccurate. ADD isn’t a lack of attention, it’s a lack of control over attention; to complicate matters further, it’s also one of those diagnoses that has become a bucket of similar-looking issues with different root causes. Perception of time (specifically “The ability to place oneself on a timeline”), the ability to organize thoughts, the ability to remember that you decided you wanted to do something and then actually do it, any of these can be lacking for a person with ADD. There’s also a tendency towards frustration that can make a student with ADD fail a written exam, but demonstrate complete and utter mastery of the exact same material if you just have a conversation. There’s also difficulty recalling memories specifically, which combined with the poor perception of time makes self-reflection extremely difficult. There also are ADD patients for whom it’s impossible to anticipate the feeling of satisfaction you get from completing a project, which ends up looking like laziness or a lack of motivation; or it results in trying a bunch of things and putting them down when they get difficult or boring. This is only scratching the surface of the working memory deficits that, in any combination, count as ADD.
The cruelest impairment of all is that a lot of the time a person with ADD knows exactly what they’re doing wrong, and exactly what they should do differently, and nevertheless is totally incapable of implementing those changes. You know you need to stick with a schedule, for example, or keep a notebook to write everything down in, but maybe you neglect to enter something in your calendar, forget your notebook somewhere, or you ignore calendar alerts if you’re doing something else at the time (And you’re ALWAYS doing something else).
Anyway, ultimately there’s a good chance that so many people in the US are diagnosed with ADD compared to other countries because American society has begun to expect totally unrealistic levels of performance from everyone. It’s sort of a mis-application of the concept that “all men are created equal.” That simply isn’t true. It should be true under the law and with regard to rights (which I believe is an unspoken bit of context people forget about), but people are born with different strengths and weaknesses. American society, or at least the public & higher educational systems in the US, refuse to see that & truly guide students toward fields they are suited to.
my insecurity most likely stems from always being referred to as “the funny friend” of the group when everyone else was “the gorgeous friend” and i honestly have to blame our society where universal beauty is strictly defined with unrealistic expectations that puts pressure on everybody
The only way to accept yourself, is to embrace yourself. Embrace the fact that you don’t look like the model on the cover of a magazine, embrace that your skin is flawed, embrace the fact that you are perfectly you. It’s easier said that done. I know it can be very hard to accept ourselves when our thoughts are consuming of are happiness. We are steadily comparing ourselves to others and ruining our self esteems. Society puts such unrealistic expectations on the word beautiful. Beauty to me is imperfections that make you who you are and unlike anyone else. That is the amazing thing about life. We all have our strong and weak points and that’s what makes us all beautiful and human.
Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a Cool Girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.
Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
Okay so this movie was fucking crazy, but this quote (directly from the book) really stood out to me. It is completely true, our society places these unrealistic expectations on women, of being the “cool girl” that never gets angry or upset. I have news for you guys, we are all human, no one is perfect and this woman is NOT real. If you fuck up, you deserve to (and will!) be called out on your bullshit.
I’ve never really like children.
But today I found myself watching a group of four and five year old girls playing with Legos and I started to cry.
They were so happy and they didn’t have a care in the world.
They did not yet understand what the real world was like.
They had not yet been corrupted by sexist, racist, homophobic, and other views society has.
They did not have to hide behind a fake laugh or smile.
I started to cry at their innocence.
I remember how innocent I had been at one point.
Not yet knowing the road society had paved for me.
I also remember when my innocence was taken from me and the real world was revealed.
Look at me know.
Broken and depressed with a history of self-harm and self-hatred, looking for happiness on the bottom of a pill or vodka bottle.
My mind filled with society’s expectations of me as a woman, of my sexual orientation, of my ethnicity, of my religious views.
I started to cry because the games society played on me, the path society paved for me, the unrealistic standards and expectations society had for me, would all soon break those four and five year old girls and steal their innocence.
“On the contrary, I actually expected to be Archon. Unhappily, lovelessly married to the ever so pretty Livia Herathinos. This is quite a twisted turn far away from that. So far, it’s gone south.” Dorian may be making light of it all, but in every way, the Inquisition hasn’t been what he expected his life to be. At best when he’d fled the home he’d been unwillingly kept captive in, Dorian had expected to once again be scooped from the streets of Tevinter again (his father’s learned how to root him out by now), and dropped right back into the fray of unfair and unrealistic expectations in a society of floundering and elbow greasing to reach the top.
But word of the south’s mage rebellion had stunk of his countrymen - and of the missing Alexius and Felix. All disappointing, that. Yet another father figure to let him down. But - the Inquisitor? There’s a man to keep his spirits up.
Chuckling, Dorian lifted his head to squint accusingly up at the rain. “Anything other than this awful rain, stomping through muck, and freezing half to death; I might actually accept next time it’s offered to me.” Shaking his head in part to calm himself, but also to get the water off his face, he exhaled heavily. “I joke, but… Inquisitor if you ever need to unload, I’ll gladly lend an ear. Few want to consider how this whole mess is affecting you, but you were quite literally thrust into it without warning. At least I knew being a pariah would eventually catch up with me.”
Am I really getting flack on here for having a PIMPLE? Yes.
I will never understand why girls take the time to tear other girls down. We get so mad at society for putting unrealistic expectations on the cover of a magazine, but we still knock each other down for having those same “flaws” that were erased in photoshop. There is no way to win.
Stop focusing on such minor imperfections that have absolutely no impact on one’s character. You’ll be so much happier and find yourself with a lot more time on your hands. Perhaps that time could be spent promoting something you actually like rather than bashing what you don’t. Weird, right? Not really.
4946) I hate it when people claim it's all because of "society" and the "media" and "unrealistic expectations". Looking back, I've had this horrible fear of being fat since before I could even read. Society DID NOT cause this.
And I’ll post the unpopular opinion du jour: romantic stuff, as it’s generally understood by society, is pointless and actually hurts relationships by creating unrealistic expectations. It invariably leads to disappointment and resentment. Dating an unromantic ogre woman is way more fulfilling than dating a romantic girl.
When will we stop changing text posts? Why can’t we accept them for who they are instead of trying to change them constantly for our own good and have these unrealistic expectations. i really hate society.