society's expectations are unrealistic

Because fuck you society and your unrealistic expectations on what women’s bodies should look like.

I know I shouldn’t compare my body to anyone else’s body. I also know that I should never be ashamed of my body’s appearance. And yet, that’s what I do and that’s how I feel, all because of society’s unrealistic standards of beauty that we see everywhere in the media.
Almost every woman you see on magazine covers, on posters, in commercials etc. has this “perfect” body. That always includes flawless skin, a tiny waist, no stomach rolls, no cellulites and so on.
These ideals however, are not even a tiny bit realistic. All of these women are being photoshopped so that they can match society’s expectations and standards of beauty.

I post this today to say fuck society’s beauty standards. Fuck the ideals and expectations.
This is so cliché, but everyBODY is beautiful, because who gets to decide what’s beautiful or not?
Take care of and try to love your body as it is. At least that’s what I’m gonna try to do.

me: *drives*

me: *spots parking lot*

me: *can’t parallel park*

me: ADULTHOOD IS TOO STRESSFUL!!! THIS UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION FROM THE SOCIETY IS JUST UNFAIR!!!!!!!! FUCK CAPITALISM!!!!

Unfortunately, we live in a society where they tell us we have to look a certain way, so we’re all under pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations.
—  Mr. Feeny
Why is the percentage of kids diagnosed with ADHD so high in places like America, but almost 0 in places like France?
— 

An important thing to understand about mental illness is that it’s defined in relation to the society in which the patient lives. Some cultures may regard ADHD as a personality trait, and some cultures may recognize the cluster of symptoms as being a distinct “thing”, but due to the way the society is set up it isn’t a “disorder.” For anything to qualify as a mental disorder it has to interfere significantly with your life.

I’m a good example. I sailed through high school and college without trying, earning decent grades just by paying attention to lectures and turning in reasonably good work on time. I was chronically disorganized, but thought of it as a personality trait; my thoughts are structured in a weird way and I make connections between things that others don’t see. I thought I was just weird.

Well, around 30 I entered grad school and went to a counselor because I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed, and wanted to figure out how to cope with that. Also I had some historical shit to work out. But, when I was describing my situation he suggested ADD as a possibility and referred me out for diagnosis. Sure enough, I’ve got ADD-PI, the non-hyperactive type of ADD. Although I can see it everywhere in my life up to now, it was never clearly the cause of my problems earlier on. I was able to brute force my way through school on raw intelligence and an ability to sponge up info from lectures.

That wasn’t enough for my current program, which has us taking 7 classes at once in topics ranging from “Pathology of musculoskeletal disorders” or “Clinical management of cardiopulmonary disorders” to statistical analysis & how to read an academic paper. There was one day when we started the morning learning massage techniques and ended the day with an overview of medications for diabetes. There’s no way in hell a person with undiagnosed ADD can do well without other aspects of their life going to shit.

Now, I mentioned that other societies are set up differently and the cognitive differences exhibited by an ADD-type person might have a place in that society. From what I’ve heard, France doesn’t have the expectation that everyone should get a University degree. Trade schools are an option available some time around or after High School, and are completely socially acceptable. A person with high dexterity, excellent spatial skills, but maybe little patience for things like reading and classroom lectures would be able to find a place early on where they could learn by doing, in a hands-on and active environment. In the US, though, Everyone Must Get A BA Or They’re Doomedtmso anything that stands in the way of that rises to the level of Disorder.

Also, and this is a bit of a random aside, the reason people think ADD is overdiagnosed is that the disorder has a name that sounds descriptive but is totally inaccurate. ADD isn’t a lack of attention, it’s a lack of control over attention; to complicate matters further, it’s also one of those diagnoses that has become a bucket of similar-looking issues with different root causes. Perception of time (specifically “The ability to place oneself on a timeline”), the ability to organize thoughts, the ability to remember that you decided you wanted to do something and then actually do it, any of these can be lacking for a person with ADD. There’s also a tendency towards frustration that can make a student with ADD fail a written exam, but demonstrate complete and utter mastery of the exact same material if you just have a conversation. There’s also difficulty recalling memories specifically, which combined with the poor perception of time makes self-reflection extremely difficult. There also are ADD patients for whom it’s impossible to anticipate the feeling of satisfaction you get from completing a project, which ends up looking like laziness or a lack of motivation; or it results in trying a bunch of things and putting them down when they get difficult or boring. This is only scratching the surface of the working memory deficits that, in any combination, count as ADD.

The cruelest impairment of all is that a lot of the time a person with ADD knows exactly what they’re doing wrong, and exactly what they should do differently, and nevertheless is totally incapable of implementing those changes. You know you need to stick with a schedule, for example, or keep a notebook to write everything down in, but maybe you neglect to enter something in your calendar, forget your notebook somewhere, or you ignore calendar alerts if you’re doing something else at the time (And you’re ALWAYS doing something else).

Anyway, ultimately there’s a good chance that so many people in the US are diagnosed with ADD compared to other countries because American society has begun to expect totally unrealistic levels of performance from everyone. It’s sort of a mis-application of the concept that “all men are created equal.” That simply isn’t true. It should be true under the law and with regard to rights (which I believe is an unspoken bit of context people forget about), but people are born with different strengths and weaknesses. American society, or at least the public & higher educational systems in the US, refuse to see that & truly guide students toward fields they are suited to.

/u/tastyface

The only way to accept yourself, is to embrace yourself. Embrace the fact that you don’t look like the model on the cover of a magazine, embrace that your skin is flawed, embrace the fact that you are perfectly you. It’s easier said that done. I know it can be very hard to accept ourselves when our thoughts are consuming of are happiness. We are steadily comparing ourselves to others and ruining our self esteems. Society puts such unrealistic expectations on the word beautiful. Beauty to me is imperfections that make you who you are and unlike anyone else. That is the amazing thing about life. We all have our strong and weak points and that’s what makes us all beautiful and human.
—  cwbrooke

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a Cool Girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.

— 

Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Okay so this movie was fucking crazy, but this quote (directly from the book) really stood out to me. It is completely true, our society places these unrealistic expectations on women, of being the “cool girl” that never gets angry or upset. I have news for you guys, we are all human, no one is perfect and this woman is NOT real. If you fuck up, you deserve to (and will!) be called out on your bullshit.

I’ve never really like children.
But today I found myself watching a group of four and five year old girls playing with Legos and I started to cry.
They were so happy and they didn’t have a care in the world.
They did not yet understand what the real world was like.
They had not yet been corrupted by sexist, racist, homophobic, and other views society has.
They did not have to hide behind a fake laugh or smile.
I started to cry at their innocence.
I remember how innocent I had been at one point.
Not yet knowing the road society had paved for me.
I also remember when my innocence was taken from me and the real world was revealed.
Look at me know.
Broken and depressed with a history of self-harm and self-hatred, looking for happiness on the bottom of a pill or vodka bottle.
My mind filled with society’s expectations of me as a woman, of my sexual orientation, of my ethnicity, of my religious views.
I started to cry because the games society played on me, the path society paved for me, the unrealistic standards and expectations society had for me, would all soon break those four and five year old girls and steal their innocence.
—  Innocence is temporary

IMO one of Steven Universe’s themes is very much about making boys feel comfortable with being true to themselves. And this is good.

Society forces little boys to conform unrealistic expectations of Herculean masculinity. “Boys DO NOT CRY.” “Boys MUST BE tough.” “Boys CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING REMOTELY feminine.” This hurts our boys, it messes them up real bad.

Steven Universe tells them otherwise. It’s okay to cry, to feel, to wear pink, to look up to the awesome women in their lives. This is beautiful.

Am I really getting flack on here for having a PIMPLE? Yes.

I will never understand why girls take the time to tear other girls down. We get so mad at society for putting unrealistic expectations on the cover of a magazine, but we still knock each other down for having those same “flaws” that were erased in photoshop. There is no way to win.

Stop focusing on such minor imperfections that have absolutely no impact on one’s character. You’ll be so much happier and find yourself with a lot more time on your hands. Perhaps that time could be spent promoting something you actually like rather than bashing what you don’t. Weird, right? Not really.

Be kind to each other! :)

4946) I hate it when people claim it's all because of "society" and the "media" and "unrealistic expectations". Looking back, I've had this horrible fear of being fat since before I could even read. Society DID NOT cause this.

And I’ll post the unpopular opinion du jour: romantic stuff, as it’s generally understood by society, is pointless and actually hurts relationships by creating unrealistic expectations. It invariably leads to disappointment and resentment. Dating an unromantic ogre woman is way more fulfilling than dating a romantic girl.

When will we stop changing text posts? Why can’t we accept them for who they are instead of trying to change them constantly for our own good and have these unrealistic expectations. i really hate society. 

To The Girls Who Grew Up Believing That There Was Something Wrong With Them

TW: Eating Disorders

The first time I ever felt ugly was in the seventh grade. A group of boys had been going around the school calling me “The Opera Singer”. When I heard about this I assumed that it was based off my recent performances in choir, but later that night, while I told my friends about the name which I had perceived as a compliment, I watched every one of their faces fall into an awkward, stoney silence. Someone in the room finally mumbled: “I think it’s because you’re fat…” I had never felt so ugly in my life. I had never wanted to evaporate and disappear as badly as I did in that moment.

At twelve years old I shouldn’t have been looking in a mirror and fantasizing about cutting the fatty lumps off of my body. I shouldn’t have been starving myself to the point of exhaustion or restricting myself from food I had always loved.

I began obsessing about the women I saw in magazines, I would cry because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t look like them. This is not something that is unique to my childhood. Young girls, teenagers, and adult women experience situations like this everyday. The society in which we are submerged gives us unrealistic body expectations that can lead to the destruction of our bodies and minds.

The media tells little girls that the only way they will be excepted into this world is if they are skinny, white, blonde, blue eyed, and able bodied. Not to mention the pressure placed upon them to conform to societies ideas of their sexuality. What about the young women who don’t fit these standards? What messages are they receiving about their beauty? These are the girls that nobody gives credit to. These are the girls who are smart, and beautiful and so special.

I was one of those little girls who grew up thinking that everything about me was wrong. I wish that someone had been there to tell me that there was nothing wrong with me, but rather something wrong with the society I was growing up in. So take these words to mind, the next time you are around young girls or women, remind them of how special they are, and tell them over and over again until it is engrained in their mind that their self-worth is not determined by the opinions of others.

I’m just kind of thinking about that ‘men are also held up to unrealistic expectations thing’ and just like

society does not hold you up to that. Yes, its what society and many vain/shallow people like, but you aren’t HELD right next to that. No one expects that of you.

I’m not saying men aren’t allowed to feel uncomfortable or pressured, or that men don’t have EDs or body image issues, but it is nowhere near the same. Smoothing and 'lump hiding’ shapewear and spandex isn’t exactly an item mass-marketed to men.

fat men date hot chicks in movies and tv shows all the time and are still viewed as successful and blahblah. They don’t have to be hot to do this. Women do.

Male models are shirtless men who work out, airbrushing is involved. Some probably do suffer eating disorders and body dysmorphia among other things - but having that muscle takes food. Female models are women who starve to become skin and bone, and then get photoshopped over to create ridiculously long and slim limbs. They are told to be skin and bone, but then have their bones photoshopped smooth so that they can look just as small without the ribs and bones and gauntness and sickness being shown to viewers.

When a female looks at these images, she thinks, “I need my collarbones to stick out and I need to eat nothing”. When a man looks at a male model, really, the only conclusion he can come to is that he should probably work out.

And any guy, removing any disabilities, could have a six pack if he wanted. This is a fact. In the original post, the OP actually wrote “DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS TO LOOK LIKE THIS”. And just… I am sorry to burst your bubble, but its not unrealistic or impossible at all. Do your research, put in 5 hours of gym time a week using effective programming, eat to meet your goals, be consistent, and boom, done. Not saying you have to, but you COULD. And it would actually be GOOD for you in the health sense - you’d be eating better and working out. Not so for women trying to meet those standards - their health goes on the line for this beauty. Point is that these are not unrealistic bodies. Men are not like women, who’s skeletal structure can make them look 'undesirable’ no matter how thin they are - no matter what body type men have they all look pretty fucking awesome when they are fit. But some women will never have small waists or round hips or perfectly proportioned legs. That is something that can’t be changed. And if we want bigger boobs, we need surgery. Do men need surgery and thousands of dollars for bigger pecs and biceps? No.

Its understandable that many men feel uncomfortable with their body. No one should judge you for not meeting those 'standards’. But don’t claim they are unrealistic, let alone IMPOSSIBLE (I’m sorry, but wow fuck you). Don’t claim you have it as bad as us in that regard and that we’re evil feminists for saying so. I’m not saying that your situation is fine. I’m just saying stop trying to one up our issues with really terrible examples.

THIS is ugly.

It’s disgusting that you guys have to put down someone just to get out a positive change. You people are absolutely insulting to the cause of any type of justice.

This is nasty behavior. Although it’s clear that you’re trying to make a positive change in the world, you’re making yourselves look like disgusting human beings with no respect for a fellow human being.

You can call Driver himself out for being white, but that still won’t do anything. You should be criticizing the media, not an individual who was chosen because he decided to audition for the role. You won’t do anything but make him feel like shit, alienate rational people from your cause, and make yourselves look like horrible people.

We still live in a society where both sexes struggles with unrealistic images and expectations.

By insisting that an ‘ugly’ guy shouldn’t get as much media coverage as anyone else (regardless of others’ race/looks/sex) you’re yourself adding to the disgusting unrealistic images that the media portrays and you complain about.

How about you practice what you preach and stop attacking people for their looks? Let’s take it up a notch, too, and goddamn stop bringing other people down by using social justice as an excuse.

And the 7k+ people that may be supporting and reblogging this post without criticizing it are no better. Stop being nasty human beings.