societal conventions

anonymous asked:

Any headcanons on how Vladimir would be with a shy innocent girl if he courted her? Sexually, too? :)

Twilight, both as a series and as a fandom, is unusual because it’s almost completely uninterested in the idea of vampires “corrupting” humans. And that’s a huge staple of vampire/human romance, generally speaking! Embracing the darkness within/giving oneself over to passion/ stripping oneself of societal convention is the whole thematic underpinning of romancing the undead. 

Vladimir, I think, would bring that tendency back. If he were dating a shy, innocent girl, his endgame would be making her not-shy and not-innocent. (Although it’d be totally cool if she maintained the superficial aspects of those two traits. It’s always creepy when an adorable-seeming person is actually… not that at all.) He’d probably push her to dwell on her darker experiences and try to convince her that injustice could only be remedied through violence. 

Actually, the prior paragraph begs the question: would a shy, innocent young woman even fall in love with Vladimir? What would draw her to him? Wouldn’t she find his… entire being kinda repellant? I have to think that anyone legitimately drawn to him would have the capacity for creepiness, if not an immediate urge to indulge it.

Sexually, I’m sure Vladimir would be gentle and affectionate with his less-experienced partner. Even though he’s incredibly evil from a human perspective, there’s no evidence at all that he’s a bad mate. As I keep saying, his coven of twelve(!!) suggests that he’s actually great at relationships, provided all the parties in them are undead. 

Meh.  I can’t help but to roll my eyes every time somebody talks about how the lyrics of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” are “dated” or something like that.  We all know that the one people refer to with that is the “Say, what’s in this drink?” bit.

Guys, c’mon.  The guy didn’t slip her a roofie.  The whole song is about the woman actually wanting to stick around but, per societal conventions stating that it’s taboo for a woman to stay at a man’s house after too late, is slyly going through all the reasons why she can’t/shouldn’t stay.  Again, she actually DOES want to stay, hence her agreement at the end of each verse that “oh but it’s cold outside.”  She’s just going through the motions of polite refusal and letting him talk her into sticking around.

The song is from a movie, in fact–“Neptune’s Daughter”–and at one point the roles are reversed: the man, nervous about what might happen after dark, starts singing “I really can’t stay” and the woman starts cooing back to him “but baby, it’s cold outside.”  The lyrics, save for just a few, where the pronouns are reversed (from “I” and “you” to “you” and “I”), are pretty much the same… including the “what’s in this drink” line.

The “I simply must go” line, often cited as evidence that the second part to the duet actually does want to leave, might be a fair point if not for the other line, “I ought to say no no no, sir.”  She/he OUGHT to.  She/he doesn’t actually WANT to.

Basically, guys: it’s not a creeper song, seriously.  Chill.  Is it from a different time with different societal conventions?  Absolutely.  If you don’t know the context, could it sound kinda suspicious?  You bet.  But now you know the context, so please, don’t go harping on this song again.  It’s not the creepy thing everybody makes it out to be.

2

Whereas someone else, someone with a set of eyes capable of seeing beyond societal conventions, beyond their defining biases, such a beholder might see an image of… two men caught in an act of pleasure. Erotic be sure, but also… vulnerable. Neither aware of the camera. Both of them connected to the moment, to each other. To love. 

i just realized i don’t have to abide by irl societal conventions in my fiction

like, i knew this intellectually? but i forgot that i don’t have to strive for “realism” by making there be homo/transphobia in a world that hasn’t been proven to have this be a part of society

what i’m trying to say is that victor nikiforov is a nonbinary trans man in my fic and i don’t have to worry about worry about how “realistic” it is that he got so far in professional sports when he’s trans… i’m allowed to make transphobia not be a thing in my work

it doesn’t exist! it’s dead in this world! trans athletes are all adored in my stories and no one can take that away from me :)

Omegaverse YakuLev

Lately I’ve been into Omegaverse role reversal, and I would pay to read Omega!Yaku fucking the hell out of Alpha!Lev.

More seriously though, Omega!Yaku thinking he’s abnormal because of his preference for topping instead of bottoming, and Alpha!Lev not giving a shit about societal conventions and not having a preference between topping or bottoming and just being happy because he’s with his lover. And Yaku’s always like, “What the fuck, why do you like this?” and feeling insecure, to which Lev always responds with, “I’m fine with anything as long as it’s with you, Yaku-san!”

Bonus for Alpha!Kuroo who reassures Yaku that he’s not abnormal and that there are a surprising amount of omega/alpha who don’t have sex in the fashion the way it’s promoted by society (i.e. omega bottoming, alpha topping). He’s also in a relationship with Alpha!Bokuto (in which the two of them always switch), so he understands the struggles of falling outside of the norm.

At one point, Yaku and Lev have a fall-out, because Lev really doesn’t see anything wrong with their sexual relationship. (“Why do you always make things so simple?! Are you blind to how the world is? Are you plain ignorant? Do you really see nothing at all wrong with this?”) After noticing that something’s wrong, Kuroo confronts and counsels Lev, explaining things from Yaku’s POV. And Lev, after learning to take Yaku’s worries a bit more seriously, goes to apologize (Yaku also apologizes for his harsh words and tells Lev that he truly appreciates his unconditional acceptance), and the two of them make up.

More bonus points for Yaku accidentally walking in on Omega!Sugawara fucking Alpha!Asahi (after a joint practice), and striking up an unlikely friendship with Sugawara due to their common sexual preferences. And Sugawara, who started his relationship with Asahi a year ago and awakened to his desires years before, is more comfortable with himself. And in the beginning of the YakuLev relationship, when it seems like Lev isn’t taking it seriously enough, Sugawara is the one Yaku ends up texting to vent about his frustrations and worries of societal repercussions.

Like one scene I imagine is, after Yaku and Lev have their fall-out…

Yaku: [Lev always seems to take everything so flippantly. Why won’t he fucking understand how weird we are?]

Sugawara: [Yaku-san, you’re pretty short.]

Yaku: [Excuse me?]

Sugawara: [But you still love and play volleyball, right? Society is biased against short people when it comes to sports, but you found a place for yourself. If anything, your height gives you an advantage in your position as a libero, and your team respects you. You’re an essential part of it.]

Sugawara: [You’re also an omega, but you confidently play volleyball despite prejudices against you. Society may say you’re “weird” for doing so as a short omega, but you know playing volleyball is the most natural thing for you. Just as I continue to play volleyball, despite my family’s protests.]

Sugawara: [If you can oppose society in those areas and stand up for yourself, you can do so with your “odd” preferences as well. You’re not weird, Yaku-san.]

Yaku, reading the texts, starts tearing up a little. It’s good to hear something like that, because he’s been carrying the burden silently for so long, because it’s really not something you can come out and talk to people about. (And even if it had been, he wouldn’t have wanted to emphasize his oddity.)

Yaku: [Thank you, Suga-san.]

Sugawara: [No problem. And try giving Lev-kun one more chance. He’s still young, and probably didn’t mean any harm.]

Yaku: [Yeah, I will. Thanks again.]

Sugawara: [Anytime.]

Even more bonus points for some of Yaku’s closest friends being betas, because they tend to be less judgmental than alphas/omegas since they’re not as affected by the ABO dynamic, and he finds it comfortable around them. Like Yaku striking up a friendship with Beta!Sawamura (through Sugawara) and Fukurodani’s Beta!Akaashi (through Kuroo).

God, I have a lot of feelings about this AU. -^-;;

My name’s Demi. My ethnic origins are mixed in unknown ratios of Chinese, Lao and Thai. I grew up in Bangkok, Thailand and never even moved from the street I lived on all my life before leaving to attend university in San Diego, CA. It was a big, big move (geographically speaking) but I didn’t feel any culture shock and was happy to be turning a new leaf. My school is wonderful and I have always been eager to begin an independent adult life; I love my country but the societal conventions were far too conservative for me. I love hard rock, metal, yoga asana, philosophy and lifestyle, hardcore fitness conditioning, animal welfare and I am loud about my feminism and socio-political beliefs. I thought that once I moved to the US, the land of liberty and freedom, I would be better received. WRONG. I have met amazing people here who support my journey and I am eternally grateful for them, but I’ve also met people that tried even more than those back home to shoehorn me into boxes that ascribe to their narrow world views.

I’ve been told  that I’m “surprising”, at best, and “exotic”, and other similar things, at worst. These pinks don’t understand how my English got better than theirs with my voracious appetite for books and my international education. They don’t understand why it isn’t a compliment to repeatedly call me “their Asian princess”. They don’t understand why it makes me blood boil to hear “Oh, Thailand! Yeah, I saw the Hangover II…” or “My last girlfriend was Japanese/Chinese/Korean/Philippine/InsertAsianNationalityHere” or “You’re into weightlifting/metal? But you’re Asian!” or any and all kinds of stereotypes of us. Especially ones that imply that we glorify and seek out pink men. Disgusting. When I first moved into my dorms, wide-eyed and excited, I started hanging out with a pink boy that seemed cool at first. Then, he called me one night and actually said the words “Hey, you’re Asian. Can you come over and help me with my laundry? You should be good at that, right?”

On that note: death and destruction to their Asian girl misogyny. To hell with them all, we will not stop fighting. Blessings to all my sisters.

8.11.2014

I had a man ask me
Why don’t you wear dresses like other girls
Why don’t you dress sexy like other girls
I don’t want you if you don’t
present yourself like other girls
And I gnash my teeth and I bare my claws
and I tell him
I’ve fucking fought to feel 
comfortable in my own skin
My soul has the battle scars of a woman
striving to conquer society’s expectations
of who she has to be
So don’t you fucking tell me to wear pink
Don’t you fucking tell me that I’m not a woman
because I prefer loose fit over
losing my breath to the suffocation
of one-size-too-small jeans
I know what’s it’s like 
to question my entire existence at the hands
of someone else’s closed mindedness
I made a pact with the wounds on my heart
That I would never subject myself
to that kind of assault on my identity again.
I told him all this and 
He didn’t miss a beat
Didn’t even blink; He said,
I don’t want you if you dress like a man.
And so I sent him off with a poisonous farewell.
I thanked him with a cynical smile,
for being the perfect example of patriarchal oppression.
I hope you find some sexy broad
who feeds your insatiable need for
gender norms and social convention.
And I’m thanking him once more, 
God, I hope somehow it reaches him;
I thank you for this passionate anger
This fuel for the flame
Your ignorance is firewood
for this poem’s furious inferno.

The psyche—the soul—is, Hillman claims, hermaphroditic and many-shaded. But our literal- minded egos cannot handle such ambiguity, and we embrace oppositions as a neurotic defense. In particular, as a bulwark against supposed weak- ness and inferiority, our patriarchically biased culture has made male and female not just biological descriptions but qualitative oppositions: strength versus weakness, superiority versus inferiority, certainty versus ambivalence. Illuminations versus shadows. Psychological healing, Hillman says, amounts to “restoring psychological hermaphroditism”: “Any disjunctive move is contra-indicated.”
— 

John Neary, “Shadows and Illuminations: Spiritual Journeys to the Dark Side in Young Goodman Brown and Eyes Wide Shut,” published in Religion and the Arts.

*Hillman refers to James Hillman, post-Jungian psychologist*

“I can never be brave”

  • Except that time I bucked societal convention and left the army by hobbling myself so my son wouldn’t be fatherless
  • Except that time I went on a pirate ship, unarmed and barely able to walk, to try and get my wife back
  • Except that time I set a castle on fire, stole the Dark One’s dagger, killed the Dark One, then saved all the children and ended a war.
  • Except that time I killed my father and myself to save everyone in Storybrooke
  • Except…
Societal conventions I dislike

1. When boys feel obligated to ask for your number, but then never text you. If you don’t want my number, it’s fine, but don’t ask me for it and get my hopes up for nothing.

2. How people ask you how you’re doing but they don’t really want to know.

3. How you have to lie and say good or some other variation when people ask you how you’re doing.

4. Having to tell people you miss them, when you really don’t

5. Not being able to tell the people you miss most how much you miss them because then you look clingy 

there’s a guy sitting next to me in the commons singing to himself in that way where it’s like

he knows that societal convention says he should do it quietly, so he doesn’t bother anyone, but he kinda wants to show off, so he’s like looking around for eye contact and getting louder each time he locks eyes with somebody

he’s gotten to a decently-loud volume

and he is hitting absolutely zero of the notes

youtube

The purpose of advertising is to sell products. In order to sell products they must design an ad that taps into a popular trope - often reinforcing negative societal conventions. Along with the product, they also sell this idea or trope for the audience to continue to buy into, reinforce, and internalize. 

While this MetLife (insurance) commercial does pull at all the heart strings - it also pulls at gender stereotypes and family models.

The title stuck out to me - “why dad’s lie.” It’s very specifically marketed for dads for a few reasons. First, and most obvious, single fathers are looked upon with reverence while single mothers are generally viewed with disdain. The tropes surrounding single fatherhood exists in opposition to stereotypes of the single mother. While single fathers are assumed to be hardworking, single mothers are lazy. While single fathers are generally viewed as having so much honor and integrity when taking up single fatherhood, this idea that the single father must have these virtues because single mothers are seen as the reckless, irresponsible and non-virtuous one for getting themselves pregnant. Not only is there the “you have to make this sacrifice because of HER mistakes and impurity” messaging, but also the “child-rearing is endemic to femininity, and the JOB of the female” ideal that makes single fatherhood seem like the ultimate sacrifice. He is doing this job that isn’t actually meant for him because the mother who is supposed to be there isn’t doing her job.

Then there’s the way the video uses hegemonic masculinity to tell the story. The idea that the father must never show weakness or sadness unless he wants to reveal that his whole life is a failure. Because admitting weakness/vulnerability = failure. The idea is that the video wants fathers (and even just males) to identify that they have this emotion and empathize. But this is also a very damaging way of thinking. Obviously as a parent you want to give your child everything and make sacrifices, as the video suggests, but it also shows this dad going through herculean efforts just to mask even the slightest bit of vulnerability and paints it as virtue - when in the actual household this same mentality and hegemonic masculinity doesn’t always translate in “virtuous” and “wholesome” ways. 

I think the point that sticks to me the most is also that this is an insurance commercial targeted at dads because it’s assumed that fathers handle family finances and would ultimately make this decision. So lets make a commercial about a dad making the ultimate sacrifice so that any father would feel the need to sacrifice a few hundred dollars a month to keep their child safe. The targeted audience isn’t even necessarily a single father, because even if there was a father with a partner, the point is that no one else matters as the key decision maker for the best interest of the family. 

To be clear, I don’t think it’s necessarily bad if someone identifies with this. Gender tropes and performativity are infused in a lot of things. I was really just driven to write this because I watched the video on facebook, shed some tears, but then couldn’t stop analyzing the gender implications use in the video.

Also, I have a tendency to just analyze media like… all the time.

what shall be at the top of my dash when i refresh? classical artwork? a hipster aesthetic post? a humorous joke referring to a meme and the overabundance of meme humor? a cute animal looking amazingly photogenic as it slumbers atop a cuter animal? a rant about casual misogyny? a fandom post analyzing the importance of an item that appeared for half a second in the episode that aired three seconds ago? some nsfw fanart of your favorite otp or perhaps it’s a notp? something about shrek? tumblr user makes a witty post playing on either commonly established societal conventions and another user reblogs it with a comment like OH MY GOD I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS? tumblr user makes headcanon, other user laments said headcanon, another refers to the OP as the demon lord of the lower dimension? something about the current situation of a fragile teenage mind? something cute (insert celebrity) does reflexively that speaks for their good character and fine breeding and uwu quality? perhaps this post?
Why you can’t be selectively Body Posi.

When the slim girl with smaller breasts posts her nudes on social media out of liberation, she’s “body goals af” and heart-eyed emojis. But when the plus-sized girl with larger breasts does the same, she is horribly dragged up & down. You cannot be body positive if you are only supportive of the conventional, standard, societal definition of beauty.

“What Do U Mean I’m Not A Cool White Male Private Detective From 1958 Who Listens To Smooth Jazz And Solves Murder Mysteries While Smoking 5 Cigarettes At A Time And Has 45 Dames In His Phone Book And Who Looks Like Sterling Hayden But Am Actually An Ugly Brown Girl In 2016 Who Has Leprosy And Gets Called A Raghead By Everyone And Told To Get Married Even Though She’s Only 20 And Is Not Allowed To Stay Out Past 10 PM And Is Severely Oppressed By Societal Norms And Conventions From Both Her Own Culture And Externally And Does Nothing But Work And Study And Has Solved 0 Detective Cases So Far In Life: And Other Short Stories”