Look at this piece of shit my boyfriend got from work (he works at a large retail chain, we won’t say which)
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a Customer.
I am the person that makes the economic engine turn. I am the reason you take home a paycheck. I am the reason you are able to feed your family, pay your mortgage, go on vacation, buy a car, and contribute to your church or synagogue. Because of me, gigantic corporations and small businesses alike have risen and flourished. Because of my absence, they have faded from existance.
The roads you drive on, the police and fireman that protect your community, the teachers that teach your children all exist because of me. Politicians and postal workers, sanitation workers and soldiers all owe their jobs to me. Without me, no taxes would be paid and any and all societal advances would come to a halt.
The wise come to know, respect, and love me. The foolish disregard my importance and suffer accordingly.
By the way, you’ll notice that I didn’t introduce myself as your Customer. That’s because I don’t belong to you. Even if I make a purchase from you, that doesn’t mean that I will do it again in the future. You are always on trial and I am always evaluating, measuring, and testing your product and service.
So pay attention to me. Get to know me. Learn my habits. My likes. My dislikes. My desires. My dreams. My values. Learn my language. Learn to recognize my moods.
Above all, treat me with respect. I will not be ill-treated, and why should I be? There are too many businesses vying for my attention. Every time you turn on the television, open a newspaper, or listen to the radio, you see and hear multitudes of companies competing for my attention. There are too many people who are willing to treat me right in exchange for my business.
And know this, I am not easily fooled. Businesses treat me right or suffer the consequences. Sooner or later I always discover dishonesty, disrespect, or disinterest. Most of the time, I don’t announce my displeasure. I simply take my business elsewhere.
Occasionally, we will have disagreements. I don’t like mistakes but I understand that you sometimes make them. The manner in which you handle my complaint determines any future interaction I have with you. And, in my mind, it also determines the character of your business. I rarely ever give you a second chance to make the same mistake twice.
So, watch for me in your business community. If you’re fortunate enough to see me, do everything in your power to woo me and make me your own, because I hold the key to your financial success. It is no exaggeration to say that when you interact with me, your future hangs in the balance.
Learn me. Know me.
I am a Customer.
© 2012 Charles Marshall
I’m dying omg this is so bad