social-support

Lonely people are usually lonely not because of some hidden deformity, odor or obnoxiousness - in fact there exist today support and social groups for people with precisely these attributes. Lonely people tend, rather, to be lonely because they decline to bear the psychic costs of being around other humans. They are allergic to people. People affect them too strongly.
—  David Foster Wallace
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#WearYellowforSeth

Seth Lane, who is from Northamptonshire in England, suffers from Severe Combined Immonudeficiency (SCID) — also known as “bubble boy” disease because the condition requires patients to live in sterile environments. This has caused Lane to spend large parts of his young life in a hospital.

Learn more about Seth’s story here.

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Meet The Radical Brownies!!!

Not your average girl scout group…

In the Radical Brownies, girls ages 8-12 learn about social justice movements such the Black Panthers and the Chicano group Brown Berets. They wear their brown berets in homage to those two groups. But they also study how Disney princesses define girls’ image of beauty, and how that can affect self-image.

The Radical Brownies have their own badge system, including one for “Radical Beauty” and an “LGBT ally” badge. The girls also earned a “Black Lives Matter” badge after learning about police accountability and attending a civil rights march in Oakland.

Anayvette Martinez, a community organizer, created the Radical Brownies with Marilyn Hollinquest because “there aren’t enough spaces [for young girls of color] in our society.” The Radical Brownies of Oakland launched last month and already includes 12 girls. All the members are girls of color or mixed-race. The Radical Brownies are not affiliated with the Girl Scouts of the USA.

The founders say once the program expands to multiple chapters the organization will be open to everybody, but the program will always remain focused on young girls of color.

“I think it’s never too early to have these conversations with young people,” Martinez told Fusion.

“Children are more aware than we think; it’s important to not shelter children from real issues that we’re living,” she said. “It’s especially important for young girls of color to feel empowered.”

Support The Fight For Justice, Community Outreach, and Positive Representation for Girls of Color – Like them on Facebook!! 

Psychologists describe four kinds of support: (1) instrumental, “to provide the necessities of life”; 2) emotional, ” to give strength to”; 3) appraisal, “to give aid or courage to”; and 4) information, “by providing new facts.”

In forensic psychology, assessing the kinds and levels of support a person has and what types of support must be created will help to evaluate that person’s level of risk for engaging in a criminal act. 

FaceBook Page for More Facts

[For more on social justice, follow me on Instagram: soulrevision]

Despite public outcry, Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery said Wednesday he will move forward with the felony child abuse prosecution of Shanesha Taylor, the jobless mom whose Scottsdale arrest has drawn national attention and prompted calls for Taylor to receive assistance rather than punishment. 

Attorney Bill Montgomery’s office received a petition on Tuesday with 12,000 signatures asking for Shanesha’s charges to be dropped. “First, they weren’t signatures; they were just a list of names,” Montgomery said, referring to a printout from the website. “So I don’t know whether any of the individuals in their pajamas who logged on to the site and put their name on there really had a clue of all the circumstances involved in this particular case.

Apparently signatures aren’t good enough, let’s call County Attorney Bill Montgomery’s office & tell him to drop the charges against Shanesha Taylor —> (602) 506-3411

About being an ally

When you’re an ally, it will cost you some of your privilege.

Racists, homophobic people, misogynists, folks committed to disability hate, etc – all of those people will start turning some of their hate on you. And you will lose some of what you’ve spent your life feeling entitled to and taking for granted.

And, this can be traumatic.

But… keep in mind that people you’re aligning yourself with experience this all the time, and that they bore a much heavier burden long before you’d started thinking about any of this. And that, for them, it’s unavoidable. You can walk away; they can’t. And, even as it stands, they bear the brunt of it and are hurt by it far more than you are.

Don’t expect your trauma over losing some access to privilege to be at the center of their conversations. It matters, but it’s not the most important thing at stake.

It’s ok to need support. It’s not ok to be a drain on those you’re allying with. Seek out support in dealing with these things from other allies.

This actually makes me feel really sick.
I don’t usually make posts like this but
It's illegal to pretend you’re disabled and have a need for a service or emotional support animal without an actual need for one. If someone found out that you were lying about having a disability (which you would have to to get your dog registered) you’d have problems.
I’m very. Upset about this. I hope you guys can see why. Lifehackable.tumblr.com is encouraging illegal behavior that not only the person perpetrating it can get into trouble for, but it makes it 10x harder for people who have actual service/emotional support animals to be accommodated. This is the kind of thing people pulled on restaurants in my area that makes them question whether my dog is a service dog or not and this is the kind of thing that makes it harder for people with service animals to go through a day without being questioned. People turn and ask me if they can get their dog a vest like my dog’s just to get them into restaurants and other placesand it makes me feel ill and brings me to tears. It invalidates our disabilities and our real needs for service animals and emotional support animals. Please don’t reblog the photoset this is in and please don’t do this.

Traumatic events destroy the sustaining bonds between individual and community. Those who have survived learn that their sense of self, of worth, of humanity, depends upon a feeling of connection to others. The solidarity of a group provides the strongest protection against terror and despair, and the strongest antidote to traumatic experience. Trauma isolates; the group re-creates a sense of belonging. Trauma shames and stigmatizes; the group bears witness and affirms. Trauma degrades the victim; the group exalts her. Trauma dehumanizes the victim; the group restores her humanity.

Repeatedly in the testimony of survivors there comes a moment when a sense of connection is restored by another person’s unaffected display of generosity. Something in herself that the victim believes to be irretrievably destroyed–faith, decency, courage–is reawakened by an example of common altruism. Mirrored in the actions of others, the survivor recognizes and reclaims a lost part of herself. At that moment, the survivor begins to rejoin the human commonality.
—  Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The aftermath of violence–from domestic abuse to political terror
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A study

published earlier this month suggests that, in addition to making us feel connected with others, all those hugs may have prevented us from getting sick. At first, this finding probably seems counterintuitive (not to mention bizarre). You might think, like I did, that hugging hundreds of strangers would increase your exposure to germs and therefore the likelihood of falling ill. But the new research out of Carnegie Mellon indicates that feeling connected to others, especially through physical touch, protects us from stress-induced sickness. This research adds to a large amount of evidence for the positive influence of social support on health.

*hugs our Tumblr followers*

…okay, folks, so an important and gentle reminder: the democratic national convention is on july 25, 2016, and the presidential election is on november 8, 2016

this means that we have a year and 3 months until hillary clinton is officially confirmed as the democratic nominee, and a year and 7 months until we actually vote for her

we keep talking like hillary’s shitty policies are a given, and we have to swallow all of them wholesale in the name of electing a democrat, but we are just not close enough to the election for that to be the case

our job for the next year and 3 months is not to throw ourselves entirely behind hillary clinton. our job for the next year and 3 months is to help change the national conversation so that it seems like a good idea to hillary clinton to shift farther to the left.

that means that we have to be really fucking vocal about the things we care about, as publicly as possible and as often as possible. it means that we have to write letters to the editor, letters to the clinton campaign, opinion pieces in our college newspapers, blog posts, impassioned essays. it means that we have to create and push some organized social media campaigns around specific issues that we want her to shift left on. it means that we have to talk to our friends, our peers, our coworkers. it means that we have to go to protests. it means that we have to organize protests.

you know how well it’s worked for vocal minorities like the tea party to just shout and shout until they’re given political power. it can work the other way, too.

and if it’s a shot at making the lesser of two evils a little less evil than she was a year and three months ago, well, fuck, let’s do it, y'know?

this isn’t a time for despair and falling in with the party line, folks, this is a time for hardcore activism. get on it.

Optimism in the dark places

Sometimes, people who want to see themselves as optimistic say things like this to suffering people they encounter:

  • “Look on the bright side!”
  • “Cheer up!”
  • “It can’t be that bad!”
  • “It’s ok.”
  • “Smile, you’ll feel better!”
  • “You have so much to be grateful for.”

Sometimes people who say this kind of thing mean well, but it’s still degrading. It’s degrading because:

  • Sometimes things really are that bad
  • Refusing to acknowledge that doesn’t help anything
  • And when you try to insist to someone who is going through something awful that it can’t be as bad as they think, what you’re really doing is refusing to listen to them
  • Telling someone to shut up is neither kind nor optimistic

This is particularly the case if you’re talking to someone in a bad situation that is unlikely to get better, or which is at least unlikely to get better in the near future eg:

  • Someone who has a terminal illness
  • People who are facing systemic oppression of a kind that isn’t going to go away in their lifetime
  • Someone who is trapped in an abusive relationship they see no way out of

I think that there’s another kind of optimism that is much more helpful:

  • Acknowledge that things really are that bad
  • Don’t try to smooth them over
  • Identify things that make life worth living
  • Work on building and recognizing love (including, love people enough to acknowledge how bad things are without pressuring them to sanitize them for you)
autism awareness for aides

flannelfrog asked realsocialskills: 
2012-12-30 22:29
I recently got a job offer to be an in-school aid for a gradeschooler I know with aspergers and I’m genuinely afraid to take it because, while I have teaching experience, I’ve never been an aid before. I’m afraid I’ll do something wrong and mess the kid up for the rest of his life. Do you have any advice for me?

Several piece of advice:

First, shift the way you’re thinking about this.

The problem before you is how to do right by a kid in your care. Thinking in terms of wanting to avoid doing something wrong and messing the kid up for the rest of his life is going to make it harder for you to do right by him.

You’re going to do things wrong (you’ve done things wrong in every teaching job you’ve had, it comes with the territory); and it’s going to be important for you to acknowledge and fix your mistakes. Making possible mistakes, even serious ones, a referendum on whether you are a good person, makes it a lot harder to do right by others. I’ve written about that before, here.

Treat him as a person

  • Almost universally, autistic people are treated as though they aren’t quite real, especially by caregivers
  • Often, they think of this as looking past the autism to see the real person
  • But the autism is part of who he is.
  • Don’t attribute some things to him, and others to the autism. He is real all the time.
  • He is a real person. Already.
  • Your job is not to cure him. Your job is to support him and help him to develop his abilities. Learning to do more things will not make him any less autistic, nor should it.
Do not try to make him indistinguishable from his peers
  • Because, seriously, what kind of a goal is that?
  • He’s worthwhile as a person, and he’s different from most other people, and it’s ok.
  • He has better things to do with his time than fake normal.
  • Being able to do awesome things is way better than being able to look normal while doing pointless things
  • It’s ok to be different.
  • Don’t pretend that he’s really just like everyone else, or that he will be when he grows up.
  • One of the most important things you can teach an autistic child is that it is ok to be autistic

Forget everything you think you know about the difference between autism and Asperger’s syndrome:

  • People whose diagnosis is Aspergers syndrome are autistic
  • Autistic people who can speak are disabled
  • There isn’t actually any fundamental difference
  • Except that people considered autistic are often seen as incapable, and people considered to have Aspergers are often seen as faking their difficulties
  • Assume disability and ability, and that you will have to figure out how that works for the person you’re working with

Learn how he communicates.

  • All autistic people have some sort of atypical communication
  • Some autistic people are really good at hiding it, and looking normal at the expense of understanding what is going on.
  • Autistic children, particularly boys, often pretend to be acting out in order to mask disability. Be mindful of this possibility.
  • A good percentage of the time, when autistic people repeat things over and over, they are trying to communicate something and aren’t being understood. Be aware of this, and learn how to make communication possible in this situation.
  • If he seems not to understand something, do not get angry and assume he’s just being defiant or lazy
  • Some things are really really hard to understand, even though they seem simple to people with typical development
  • For instance, an autistic child who has been isolated might find fiction other kids their age understand completely incomprehensible because they can’t relate to the experiences and relationships it describes

If he makes repetitive motions, assume they are important:

  • A lot of autistic people rely heavily on motion to think well
  • Or to communicate
  • Or to understand things
  • Or to find words
  • Or to regulate themselves.
  • If you prevent an autistic person from making repetitive motions, you’re probably also preventing them from doing things like understanding what’s going on, communicating, and learning self-control and interaction. 
  • Do not value a typical affect over learning and communication.
  • Do not say “quiet hands” for any reason ever. (Unless you’re saying something like “people shouldn’t tell you ‘quiet hands’”)

Do not make him follow rules the other kids are allowed to get away with breaking

  • Because that’s unfair, and humiliating
  • And it also prevents peer relations
  • It also prevents him from learning how rules actually work, which is a vitally important skill, especially for people who are likely to spend large parts of their life subject to arbitrary decisions made by people with too much power over them

Do not confuse him about consent, and help him learn what consent is

  • If something is an order, do not phrase it as a request. Doing so teaches people to be incapable of saying no.
  • Ask a lot of questions that actually are requests, and go with what he says, even if it’s not the answer you wanted.
  • If he always says yes when you ask him things, assume this is because he has been taught to be incapable of saying no
  • Ask questions in ways that remind him that saying no is possible
  • Or questions in ways that don’t seem to create a compliant option and a defiant option at all.
  • For instance “do you want to stay inside today, or would you rather play on the swings?”
  • But questions that are real. Not forced choices in which each option is basically compliance. 

Support him in navigating the difficult and often hateful world he lives in

  • Do not make him play with kids he dislikes, even if this means he doesn’t play with anyone
  • There are worse things than being alone. Being surrounded by people who everyone insists are nice and your friends, but who actually don’t think you’re real or treat you well is much worse than honest loneliness.
  • It’s possible, and likely, that there are very few kids, or even no kids at all, in his group who it is a good idea for him to spend time with
  • And even if you think he’s wrong about this, it’s a decision he should be making for himself (and his judgement is probably better than yours)
  • When kids or adults do bad things to him (and they will), you usually won’t be able to make them stop. You should tell him that what they’re doing is wrong, and that it’s not his fault. 
  • Knowing that it’s wrong, and that others know it’s wrong, helps a lot.

Some things you should read:

  • Ballastexistenz From the beginning. Every post. It has a lot of fundamentally important things about power, and dehumanization, and about seeing people as real. This blog has a lot of the best things that have ever been written on this topic.
  • Rolling Around In My Head is also a really good blog, written by a disabled man whose professional work is supporting people with disabilities. He says a lot of things worth knowing. Also his book Power Tools is important for understanding how this power dynamic works – and your environment and training will put pressure on you not to understand it.
  • Loud Hands: Autistic People Speaking is a really important book about autism and the world written by insightful autistic people. Buy it and read it and understand it, and it will help you to do right by this boy and others

I am so *so* for the activism here on tumblr. If I hadn’t joined I would still be Straight White Girl™ and I’d be so stuffed with internalized misogyny I’d explode. I’d literally never heard of nonbinary genders and the most I’d heard of bisexuality was that every 14 year old scene kid called themself bi, so sure there’s problems but if you think that it never helped anything I’ve got my whole self identity to show otherwise.

DO NOT SUPPORT http://moonkittyproductions.tumblr.com/

Alright, so there’s this awesome thought on tights on storenvy that are just FABULOUS. They’re cute magical girl prints and many of us were SUPER excited about it.

Well, DON’T BUY THEM.

Their store owner has routinely admitted to beating her cat, is constantly making fun of her mother for having anorexia/bulimia as well as other mental illnesses, and is just generally a real shitty person to both of her parents FOR NO REASON. Not to mention she thinks it’s OKAY to belittle people who are smaller than her.

SOME SCREENCAPS that have emerged of her deplorable behavior: http://i.imgur.com/WZyXTSO.png

http://i.imgur.com/kcavM2x.png http://i.imgur.com/aw2o6ui.png http://i.imgur.com/J9F0bx8.png http://i.imgur.com/lfozr8J.png http://i.imgur.com/TmsQbwh.png 

Oh yes. It’s perfectly okay to abuse an animal. (HOW ABOUT NO.)

Yes, what a cruel mother for reinforcing your diet that you chose to be on. (That does NOT give you the right to call her names or bag on her for any possible disorders.)

Yes, what a horrible mother for asking you to clean the house while she’s at work and OFFERING TO REWARD YOU for it with dinner at a nice place and entertaining a good time.

LET US NOT FORGET SHE IS A THEIF:

 http://i.imgur.com/T5CRTgz.png

http://i.imgur.com/fq4kV2e.png

Because, how would you feel as a CREATOR OF PRODUCTS to have your items stolen because someone thought it was too expensive for their budgets.

As for the actual products? A lot of people complaining that she either does not respond to communication or she outright insults her customers, and that her products are washed out or dull and muddy looking, as well as incredibly blurry and pixelated (not in an intentional way). SO.

AGAIN.

DO NOT BUY HER WORTHLESS PRODUCTS.

if you have an opinion on tumblr you will either be treated like a god or, if the opinion isn’t the same as the majority of tumblr, told you’re a cunt and to stfu and kill yourself

but yeah it’s a totally loving and welcoming community!

Patient’s choices follow a vicious circle, where a partial social representation of the disease is produced. People who suffer from chronic headache face a dilemma in social relationships: should they conceal their disease, or make it evident? If they conceal, any possible social representation of the disease is denied, which could lead to carrying the burden of the disease alone, with no social support. On the other hand, making chronic headache visible could result in stigma.
—   Cristina Lonardi, Social Science & Medicine Volume 65, Issue 8, October 2007, Pages 1619–1629