social-rejection

I’ve noticed this revisionist Greek myth is common wherein Persephone loves Hades and eats the pomegranate seeds in order to evade her overbearing mother, and that’s all well and good. You know, sometimes I’m in the mood for it and sometimes I’m not. But hear this: as long as we’re doing this, why is no one wondering whether Aphrodite might really love Hephaestus? 

Think about it. All the gods in their immortal splendor are lining up to marry her, doing everything in their power to impress her, the goddess of love and beauty, and she choses…that guy. A god in technical terms only, a social reject who’s ugly and malformed and um, no fun. Always slaving away in his workshop when everyone else is quaffing nectar and having their eternal beach party up on Mount Olympus. They can’t believe she’d give up all of them for that. 

So, because the gods do not take rejection well (looking at you Apollo), eventually they start to say to each other, well, we all know Zeus made her do it anyway. He’s gotta feel guilty for throwing Hephaestus off Mount Olympus that one time. And it quickly becomes that poor girl, stuck in that workshop full of sweat and dirt and cyclopses when she could have had one of us. Because of course they’ve got love all figured out; it’s entirely technical and dependent on who’s the most charming and good-looking and not at all variable and strange and notoriously unpredictable, right?

Meanwhile Ares, only the most arrogant and brainless of the crew, can’t take a hint and is still showing up wherever Aphrodite goes trying to hit on her, so eventually she and Hephaestus decide to rig up an elaborate mechanical trap for him, using her as bait. When all the gods have laughed at him for getting caught he huffily attempts to regain his dignity by telling them, whatever, guys, you want to know the truth, I was meeting her for an assignation. And they all kind of know he’s full of it but they just accept it as the unvarnished truth from thereon in, because they’d love to believe she’d cheat on Hephaestus with Ares. They’d love it. Come on, Aphrodite, get off your high horse and admit you’re just as shallow as the rest of us. 

So they talk, but Aphrodite doesn’t really care about their collective jealousy because she dotes on her misshapen genius of a husband with his sooty hands and his sweaty brow who always takes her seriously and is always so hard at work inventing astonishing new things to make her happy, and she loves the volcano they live in with its internal pressures so conducive to the formation of precious stones and its passages lit with glowing lava that so gorgeously offsets her cheekbones, and all the cyclopses worship her because even with one eye apiece they’ve still got more depth perception than most men do where she’s concerned. True it is that as a couple the two develop a reputation for not getting out much, because all those Olympian parties bore them to death and they’d rather spend time with each other (poor Aphrodite, she’s such a vivacious young thing and her husband is so grasping and insecure that he won’t let her go out and have fun), but they do all right. 

phineas and ferb episode

OPEN TO: THE BACKYARD

PHINEAS: ferb, what do you want to do today?
FERB: [blinks]
PHINEAS: hmm… you’re right ferb. since there’s no true ‘self’, whatever ‘we’ want to do today is just playing into the social dogma of what can or can’t be done. 
FERB: [thumbs up]

ENTER: ISABELLA

ISABELLA: whatcha doin?
PHINEAS: rejecting the social dogma!
ISABELLA: cool. can i help?
PHINEAS: sure. but i think asking kinda defeats the purpose. i think you just do it.
FERB: [nods]

ISABELLA opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted as BUFORD and BALJEET enter the scene

BALJEET: whatcha doin?
ISABELLA: hey!
BALJEET: oh, sorry isabella. i did not see you there. 
BALJEET: so. what are you guys doing?
PHINEAS: we don’t know yet. we’re trying to get a little bit nebulous with it today
BUFORD: explain.
PHINEAS: well, is anything we do really our own decision? what’s autonomy like in modern society? we’re trying to get out of that bind. 
BUFORD: sounds to me like you’re just playin into the whole thing, dinnerbell.
BUFORD: you really want to break down social constructs? try something like this.

BUFORD pulls back his arm and delivers a strong punch to the TREE. it rattles and a single leaf floats gracefully down, landing on the tip of phineas’s nose

SYNCHRONIZED, the other children OOH and AHH in reaction

5

GHOSTBUSTERS, 2016, dir. Paul Feig

A significant issue this movie points out is the way men and women are socialized to treat rejection: boys have to fight bullies back; women should internalize and take the high road. The villain of this movie is a guy who was derided as weird/bullied ever since he was a kid - but so were our heroines. ¾ of the women took it in stride but you can tell it’s had a big effect on Erin, her behavior, and how she quantifies/qualifies her work. Patty didn’t let her oddball tastes keep her from being a happy, friendly person. Abby and Holtzman embraced their weirdness and ignored the haters, making significant friendships (/possibly more) in the process. They do not need external validation.

On the other hand, a man feels he’s owed inherent respect and when he feels his so-called genius is not being suitably revered, he lashes out with violence. There is no “live and let live” philosophy here; people need to pay with their lives for the humiliation they’ve wrought (many of them unknowingly).

Just something else I love about an imperfect movie which should also be applauded for catering not a whit to the male gaze.

leo valdez:

  • admits to being better with machinery than people
  • his jokester persona is learned behaviour to protect him from social rejection, but he’s often lost in situations where he can’t apply it
  • seems to find it difficult to judge when his actions are inappropriate 
  • hyper-fixates on new ideas and projects
  • forgets about personal hygeine / self care (not noticing when he’s burned his clothes off, having grease stains and soot on himself)
  • extremely focused on engineering / inventing to the exclusion of other interests
  • taps morse code as a stim

im not saying leo’s autistic except he’s so autistic that i’d be surprised if no one else has pointed it out yet. autistic leo valdez. fight me

Loki and you stay at the Avengers Tower. He likes you but doesn’t approach you, for he’s a pariah, no one wants to interact with him. You’d reject him as well as you always look at him with distaste. One day, he acquires a laptop & finds you on social media. He poses as SHIELD/Stark employee, keeping his identity hidden on pretext of confidentiality. You develop a slow romance and sext/chat online often, sharing pics without revealing faces. He wants to tell you who he is, but he knows you’ll run the moment he reveals his identity. So, he keeps it hidden. One day, his identity is accidentally revealed to you. You react badly, as expected. The Avengers ask SHIELD incarcerate him. Before leaving, he promises to not contact you again but asks you if you’d have given him a chance had he been honest with you. Your answer is clear by your facial expression, & Loki nods in acceptance. He leaves peacefully and you’re left wondering what to do, for you realize you do actually care for him.

the lie that “transwomen aren’t socialized male, they reject male socialization because they identify as female:)” is LITERALLY saying that toxic masculinity is innate to men and femininity is innate to women. think about it. how on earth would transwomen reject male socialization? male socialization refers to the way male people are socialized to be assertive and aggressive and loud. by “trans women reject male socialization”, trans activists are saying that transwomen think “oh no thanks, i can’t be assertive or loud, i’m supposed to be a woman!”. they’re claiming that femininity is something women are born with. how does that make sense wtf. how do these people think sex-based socialization works??? nobody cares what a male identifies as, they still view him as superior and give him the message to be aggressive because he is male. claiming that he ignores this socialization because he “feels like a woman on the inside” IS LITERALLY SAYING THAT MEN ARE BORN VIOLENT AND NOT SOCIALIZED THAT WAY. IT’S LITERALLY THE SAME AS SAYING THE PATRIARCHY DOESNT EXIST.

en.wikipedia.org
Social rejection

Ever given anyone the silent treatment?

What did you hope to accomplish?

My mom used to give my brother and me the silent treatment when she got mad at us as children.
We corrected her once.
She didn’t talk to us for a week.
I was in elementary school.

So, I suppose it’s especially hurtful to me now when a friend ignores me or gives me the silent treatment.

If they’re just mad at me, I wish they’d talk to me about it.
If they don’t want to be friends anymore, I wish they’d tell me so I would know not to bother them.

It’s a behavior I don’t understand, and it really hurts.

Have you experienced the silent treatment?

How do you cope with someone who ignores you?

Do you assume they don’t want anything to do with you and just leave them alone?

Spring Day and “Venus of the Rags”

 So this past summer, I was in an art museum in Washington D.C when i noticed this exhibit entitled “Venus of the Rags”

So naturally when I saw this scene in Spring Day, it instantly reminded me of this art piece

I don’t know whether or not this was just coincidence, but we all know bts likes to talk about class systems aka the poor vs rich, disadvantaged vs advantaged, baepsae vs hwangsae, in their lyrics a lot. 

Ironically, “Venus of the Rags” is classified as “Arte Povera” or “Poor Art” which meant reconnecting with nature (aka Spring Day) and reaching back to the mundane, everyday life. (Coincidently, “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas” was published around the time of this movement).

The rags where supposed to represent “…the confusion & multivalence of marginalized people, the totalities of random & disparate communities of social rejects…that is the rags of society.”     

The juxtaposition of the Statue of Venus in front of the rags was supposed to  represent the juxtaposition between the rich and the poor and make us ask;

How do we regard the poor and how do we regard the rich? Which is something bts talks so much about in their lyrics.

interesting how ADHD people tend to manifest what’s called “rejection sensitive dysphoria” in response to “perceived” rejection and social isolation…

somehow (SOMEHOW 🤔) we’re all Clinically Oversensitive to rejection when…. in reality…. so many of us have been rejected and abused and purposefully isolated from our peers in order to punish us for our symptoms.

HMMMMMMM.

Latina students tend to suffer from “survivor guilt” as they pursue higher education and reject the social norms imposed on them, but it is not something that is often discussed. 

There are days where I absolutely feel that leaving my family behind to go college was less of a accomplishment, but more of a selfish abandonment.

Many of us are very aware that our parents had goals and aspirations that they could only dream of given to their previous circumstances. I often tend to feel guilty for having the opportunity to rise above without my family.  

It not only makes me grateful to know that I have those opportunities, but I won’t deny that it has not have a negative psychological effects on my mental health.

Being born into a Latinx family predetermines the social expectations that we are supposed to comply to. Being a college student and a Latina daughter can form a  conflict of two identities as we battle who are trying to become and what is expected to be as members of our culture. 

Not to mention, that since we are children most of us are socially conditioned to devote and sacrifice everything for our families. We’ve take so much pride in putting our family before us and Latina women are praised for being nurturing and homely so my desire for a college degree feels like a selfish desire.