social-mask

ADHD ASK GAME

I love those ask games so I made one for us ADHDers.

1. Are you a fast talking hyperactive or a pacing hyperactive?

2. Are you a doodling daydreamer or a window gazing daydreamer?

3. Do you like hand stims, foot stims, or mouth stims the most?

4. Are you a planner person or a phone reminder person?

5. Do you hyperfocus on productive things or irrelevant things?

6. Are you a multitasking ADHDer or an overhwhelmed ADHDer?

7. 504 or IEP?

8. Diagnosed or Self Diagnosed?

9. Are you a 5000 tabs person or blank tab trying to remember why person?

10. Are you a self-hate when rejected or extreme rage when rejected kind of person?

11. Are your family do yoga people, eat clean people, or put down the phone people?

12. Which were you called the most in school: lazy or irresponsible?

13. High stim or Low stim seeker?

14. Comorbid conditions?

15. Which have you been told more often: meds are cheating or meds are street drugs?

16. Not social to mask symptoms or overcompensating to mask symptoms?

17. Reading hyperfocus or reading impossible?

18. Do you parents believe it exists?

19. Diagnosed late or early?

20. Ever wonder how much of you is your personality and how much is ADHD?

Aquarius Sun- Independent, quirky, and communicative personality. Will always stand out somehow. Individualism and ego are connected. Detachment is seen through inconsistent behavior, physical independence, and scattered communication.

Aquarius Moon- Intellectually driven, emotionally detached, thinks differently than others, desires acceptance, belonging, and freedom to express. Detachment is shown by not getting too intimate with others, intellectual conversations, lack of sentiment, and possible lack of affection or reassurance. 

Aquarius Rising- Quirky, social, and sometimes rebellious mask.

Libra - Secret Soul Contracts 

In the material realm Libra is the figure of beauty and grace, tip toeing around conflict to breathe the air of harmony. But Libra wears many masks, her social mask is assured and contained, she remarks on pleasure and appreciations, and there is a force inside that dissolves her masks. Venus is the ruler of Libra, she is the lover, the temptress, the artist. Saturn exalts in Libra, and Saturn associates with authority, government, and regulation. She is forced to stand before the laws of karma fearing great reprimand. For it is Libra who must establish law and morality for Saturn, so Capricorn can concrete this into societal values and constitutions. Libra who must prime Saturn’s rings, which represent the laws of karma, negotiating the forces of love, intuition, intellect, and justice. It is Libra who is constantly berated for indecisiveness, but their internal experience is more severe. Libra must decide what is right, what is wrong, and what is fair. The superficial impartialness helps them gather countless records, experiences, and points of view that can be streamlined seamlessly, prepared for the strict rationale of Saturn. Libra is an air sign, and tremendous intellect is required to exercise this duty. Bound by the soul and spirit, the Libra answers to a formidable internal force. Two feathers must balance in perfect symmetry on Saturn’s rings, and nothing less than righteous will be accepted.

-C.

Easy-to-Understand houses in planets

House I - talks about your ego and how you project your image to the world. People say this is your social mask but what we present to the world is strongly related with our perceptions of the world and personal values, so don’t take this as fakeness. This is more you than you expect. Is related with the boldness of Aries.

House II - talks about your wealth and resources, surviving and the material world. Also about heritage, or lack of it, and how you will deal with money. Is related with the abundance of Taurus.

House III - talks about communication. How we make boundaries and our relationships - in terms of socializing with people, friends, family. To relate with others we must communicate so this is also about studies and education, basic learning and learning through others. Is related with the discourse of Gemini.

House IV - talks about family. How you deal with emotional stress at home, your relationships with relatives, memories of the past and family traumas. Also talks how you deal with the mother figure of your life. Is related with the caring nature of Cancer.

House V - talks about creation. It can be future projects, work, children, what makes you be who you are through what you do in life, what you build. This is working with passion and impulse of wanting to express and to be seen. Is related with the performer nature of Leo.

House VI - talks about work, professional image and career. It can be your work environment or your dream work, or how you deal with responsibilities and pressure of criticism. While house V is about creating with the heart, house VI is creating with the mind, doing the cruel work of availing and judging with perfectionism. Is related with the sharpness of Virgo.

House VII - talks about love and romantic partnership. What you’re looking for in a romance, what makes you feel attracted, what makes your mind blow and your feelings boil, and how you deal with these passionate emotions. Love usually brings balance to our life, so is also about personal equilibrium. Is related with the seductiveness of Libra.

House VIII - talks about life changes. It is a fatal house of development in life: can be through falling in love, experiencing sex, facing death, going through sickness, getting out of the teenage years and into the adult world, learning through traumas and hardships. Dealing with sudden changes and overcoming them to get the reward. Is related with the intense nature of Scorpio.

House IX - talks about wisdom, moral and ethics, and also your beliefs. It can be about your faith, which religious path you will follow, how you will deal with it. While house III is about knowledge and communicating, IX is about knowledge and reflecting. To learn one must be open to new ideas, so this can also be about traveling to meet new cultures, or going through studies like college and post graduations. Maybe all. Is related with the expansive nature of Sagittarius.

House X - talks about social position. This is about nobility, family pride and social power. Not necessarily about finances, like the house II, or work, like the house VI, but about being in charge of a leadership, or a very important role. Also about your relationship with your father figure, leaders and bosses, and how you deal with authorities and hierarchy. Since all these things are related with “successful” roles, this house also shows how you deal with difficulties and failures in your life. Is related with the ambitious nature of Capricorn.

House XI - talks about your place in society. Unlike house X that looks after power, this house is about what you do of remarkable in your society, in your groups, to make it better - or if you run from it if everything feels overwhelmingly wrong. Is about social development, and how you deal with and solve social problems, and everything that “upgrades” our present and build a better place. Is related with the inventive nature of Aquarius.

House XII - talks about your dreams and unconscious. This is how you imagine things to survive the cruelty of the world. Like the house XI this is a place for upgrades, but while the XI is about the collective, the XII is about the individual. They say what you think becomes real, and in this case is how you deal with your inner hopes and fears, expectations and rancors, and how they influence your life. Also talks about remarkable moments of joy and traumas that unconsciously shapes you, and if you use this to inspire or destroy yourself and others. Also your relation with places where you deal with your shadow self for recovery, karma payment, or escapism: prisons, therapy houses and rehab centers, or online games. If you believe in past life, this is about the karmas you’re paying from them. Is related with the romanticism of Pisces.

Venus in Taurus - Sleepy Cinderella 

There is a musical rhythm in the Venus Taurus heart. It beats to a melody hummed by Aphrodite herself. The individual generates immediate and sensual pleasure from social encounters. They prefer commitment and loyalty over fleeting game playing. The individual expresses love through material form, this can be touch and affection, and can also stimulate excessive generosity and self sacrifice. The individual will enjoy purchasing special gifts for loved ones and treating them to ice coffees and cocktails. The senses here are active and delicate. The individual is hyper responsive to aroma, silky sheets, caressing touch, beautiful sounds in the air, and the general warmth of the surrounding people. It’s like they can touch people without using their hands, they can feel and smell their soul and hear their heartbeat.

Venus in Taurus people live to indulge in their creature comforts. Wrapped up in a giant fluffy blanket, sipping cinnamon tea, hearing rain on the roof, and watching Netflix, this is how a sleepy Venus in Taurus person soaks into delight. Or they grace the social scene, dancing across gatherings with the social class of a Venus butterfly, beguiling with serene beauty and ease of sociability. The personal style typically has enchanting flair and elegance. The person can be preoccupied with appearance and glossing the social mask. However natural beauty associates with Venus in Taurus. Venus is the ruler of Taurus so the individual can be a Goddess of Enchantment for other people, reflecting their own idealistic view of beauty onto the individual. Sometimes they are believed to be somebody they are not. The individual may enjoy cosmetics, massage, eyelash extensions, and dying their hair all sorts of pastel purples. They spray a bottle of glitter lacquer everywhere they go. The individual can be so sensitive to the environment that temperature can offset the mood. As lovers, they are traditional romancers, often finding inspiration in old fashion courting and affections. 

 Venus is ravishing in Taurus and takes tremendous pleasure through inhaling fresh forest air, lathering on coconut butter, and running through the wild. The individual is a loving and kind friend, but they will approach relationships with a genuine seriousness and responsibility. It may take a long time for the individual to settle into relationships or leave other ones behind. Broken relationships can leave a haunting, empty space in the individual until this is again filled by love. They have tremendous concern for the welfare of other people and never let a friend go without. Creativity is rich and sensual with Venus in Taurus, so aromatic you can taste it on your lips like ice cream sprinkles, the expression is naturally artistic and saccharine. The imagery can be soaked in lip gloss and eye shadow palettes, poetic expression with the voice, words, paintbrush, or body associates with Venus in Taurus. The heart of Venus can battle with the common sense of Taurus. The heart can be saturated in soul nauseating love, but the mind berates ‘there’s no point!,’ or ‘this won’t even last!?’. There are few in the world truly worthy of Venus in Taurus love. A walking garden of Venus flowers blossoming cosmic milkshakes for everyone to taste.

-C.

(art: aimee stewart)

The Ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your social self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.
—  Deepak Chopra
The Types As I've Met Them

I’m an INTJ and don’t know a lot of Sensors so bear with me.

ENFP:
-WHY DO I KNOW SO MANY OF THEM???
-Very happy on the outside
-Pretty easy to unlock tragic backstory (if there is one)
-They will let you rant to them but don’t expect them to come up with solutions
-Trying their best and doing pretty good

INFP:
-Very considerate
-“I forgot the lavender infusion for my tea…”
-“I think I was a dragon in a past life.”
-Always caught between doing the right thing but wanting to avoid conflict
-Artsy and like creating things
-Not too hard to make them laugh

ISTJ:
-Owns a shit ton of antiques
-Big sweet tooth
-Lives in the middle of nowhere
-Really likes murder mysteries and Steven King
-Appreciates music more for sound than lyrics

ESTJ:
-Went to prison once
-Loves their dog but can’t take care of her
-Gives 1 fuck
-Needs to sort out social life

INFJ:
-Will fight you
-Nice hair
-Been through too much and deserve love
-Sassy™
-*eye rolls for dayz *

ENFJ:
-Fucking love cooking for people
-Can’t wrap their mind around why someone would have bad intentions
-Soooooooo empathic it hurts
-Need to stop caring about other people so much and take care of themselves for once because they work themselves to the bone trying to solve other people’s problems
-Good people
-People say they’re manipulative but it can go the other way around too

ENTP:
-They could talk bullshit for hours and I would still believe them
-Their social mask is amazing??
-The ENTP I know had anxiety and depression for years and I only found out a few months ago
-They’re really intelligent but can’t stand having a schedule and have SO MUCH untapped potential
-Many tattoos, much cigarettes, great taste in clothes, lots aesthetic

INTP:
-Friendship is based off of sardonic humour and a love for podcasts. Nothing else.
-Have emotions!!!
-But it took me 9 months for them to open up
-If they tried they’d be a straight A, honours student
-Future sociopath

ESFJ:
-All the ESFJs I know are nurses
-And they’re very nice and friendly
-Very smart but you learn that after you get to know them
-Very appreciative of food in different ways

ISFJ:
-Kind of set in their ways for an Ne user
-Very silent in conversation but pops in at random to say a comment that makes everyone laugh
-Very financially stable and has their life together

INTJ:
-Can’t understand why people are so ignorant
-Go to them if you don’t understand something and want a fresh perspective
-We’re assholes but will try if we benefit from it
-Neat af👌


That’s it. I don’t know any ENTJs, ESTPs, ISTPs, ESFPs or ISFPs. I don’t have many friends so… that’s it.

Virgo Horoscope July 2017

My Royal Virgo,

Great career accomplishments and dreams will be realized thanks to Venus! She is busy beautifying your life by creating a better quality of life, from July 5th - Aug. 1st. This is a momentous time for your professional world to see great strides so be sure to rewrite your resumé, update your cover letter and write yourself a new professional manifesto.  Doing so will help you best take advantage of Venus’s influence by having you essentially write your own future. Begin by thinking audaciously about your future, think big about what you want to have. Write down goals in the present tense with a deadline and keep it personal by always starting a goal with, “I am.” For example, “I am manager at my company by Aug. 1st.”  The more specific and short the better to see your end goal. Saturn retrograde opposite Venus suggests home roots and your domestic order have impacted your search for career happiness. Venus will soothe Saturn as she concerns herself with bringing your dreams to reality.  Saturn will relinquish some of the home stress which saw you question your very ties to this Earth.  Finding a job to occupy your time on Earth which not only pays the bills but also fulfills your dreams is of paramount importance. You have jumped the hurdles and seen the world as your horizons broadened, but also constricted. Your life come birthday season will have you celebrating for the attainment of a great milestone. If you are getting married, Venus has a lot to do with this, so be ready to change your status and show the world your new role in the world.

The Sun is busy polishing your social mask so you glow with a new allure. By July 22nd, you are a busy social butterfly going between social events.  Your ruler Mercury will be in strong stride allowing you to make a name for yourself in your community and industry.  If you seek inclusion in some industry, elite club, or a new social status, Mercury delivers by July 5th. Helping you make new contacts and gain the attention of VIPs is Mars charging forward in your social world. Until July 20th, you are creating a new social platform upon which to stand and show off your new social identity.  A very romantic event is guaranteed on July 9th the night of the Full Moon.  She excites your passions and stirs the musicality of your heart’s strings so they sing the song of love.  She is an emotional burst of affection and lust so be sure to be out and about. If you are single, have your business card handy as you may never know who you come across and totally impress! If you are in a relationship, you will share a very sweet and loving night of passion.  This is even a great time to tie the knot as Pluto in retrograde renders your heart perfectly vulnerable for long lasting change. Whether marriage, graduation, a promotion, or dream come true, the milestone you reach is life-changing.

Your internal dialog will change as a result of so much external change to your life. It begins with Mercury administrating a new era to your mental state of being as he delves deep into your Palace of Intuition, July 5th - 26th.  He rouses the voices deep inside your mind, allowing you to understand who you are, live with this new reality, and even heal yourself. He is the wordsmith giving your mind a new sense of self. Mars is strong in your mental state, as well, as he brings truths of your inner being to the surface from July 21st - Sept. 5th. He helps you confront past demons and traumas so you can feel mentally refreshed and able to start your birthday on a strong step forward. The Sun gives his radiant light to shine on the strong suits of your mind, July 23rd - Aug. 22nd. He helps heal the inner darkness and mystery of your being, especially on the New Moon of July 23rd. She stops by to hush the noise in your mind, allowing you to feel mental clarity.  You are a filter as noises, smells, words, tastes, they are all filtered by you. You are the ultimate authority on your experience on Earth, and the New Moon purges your mind of all the past to let go of the stress.  Your mind is filtered and purified for a whole new experiential state of mind.

The Waning Crescent of July 16th initiates your rebirth. She cozies up close to Uranus, the god of individuality, validating the person newly emerging upon this world. Jupiter blesses with his polarity to the duo and finally opens the floodgates to many, many, many rewards and riches to come. He will enrich your pockets with more money earned by your own hard work, also helping you to open awesome credit lines, retirements plans and savings. Your understanding of the world is based upon your theory of life based on your own life, and not books, which the Waxing Crescent of July 30th proves.  She wraps up the month with a strong forward nod to your understanding and acceptance of the world, and your precious place in it.

Love till the end of time!

xoxo, Star Queen Adonis

At the very beginning you struggle with the little things, but usually choose to ignore them. It’s like a headache. You’ll tell yourself it’s temporary and it’ll pass. It’s just another bad day. But it’s not. You’re stuck in this state of mind. You get used to putting on a social mask and you continue to live among other people, because that’s what you have to do. That’s what others do. However, the problem does not go away. You struggle to put on a play every day and it starts to cost you more and more. That is why you fall even deeper and that’s when you slowly start to back away from friends and family, sometimes completely shutting them out. All satisfaction is gone. The little things that used to bring you joy are now worthless. Even the simplest tasks become painful. That is why you lack motivation. Now… why would you keep on trying if nothing makes you happy anyway. All of this makes you feel even worse and you get caught up in a vicious circle. Suddenly you find yourself living in slow motion. Days become indistinguishable which is just a white noise, just… heaviness, filling your mind and spilling over your body. You feel as though you’ll never be happy again. You continue to back away and destroy relationships. You’re ashamed for everything you’ve done and everything you haven’t. There is a part of you that wants to make things right a sudden positive upsurge makes you want to go out and meet people but… it’s all very short-lived because you know it won’t work anyway. Things that make your friends excited leave you indifferent and you become aware of the huge gap that lies between you. Another failure is not an option, so in the end you choose to be alone in your comfort zone where no one asks any questions. The low self esteem and the lack of purpose become unbearable. You finally realize you can’t go on that way and two things can happen: you either decide to get some help, or you… might attempt a suicide.

Face Masks and Social Media

   Pairing: Jay Park x Female!Reader

   Genre: Fluffy

   Word Count: 723 words

   Prompt: “you’re tired/stressed, so i recommend just chilling out together, until you expose me on social media.”

    Warnings and Author’s note: i’ve been wanting to write this ever since i’ve seen jay park’s iconic bathroom pictures 3 years ago, i just never had the best prompt. until now >:) Happy belated 30th birthday to Jay Park.


   The day seemed to drag on and on as Y/N sat behind the counter. She just wanted to get home and sleep with her boyfriend cuddling her close to him. She was the last worker in the café and she was contemplating whether to close up early or stay for the last five minutes.

   The latter had won.

   The five minutes dragged on. She almost felt like a broken record.

  She grabbed the keys, spinning them around her index finger, using them to lock the door. Her car was just out the door, so she slid into the driver’s seat. Starting the car, she sighed and drove to her shared house with Jay.

   The music could be heard even outside the house. She grabbed the keys and unlocked the door, kicking off her shoes and greeting PJ and Oscar when they ran towards her. She squatted down, petting the two dogs.

  “Hey, you two. I missed you both.” Y/N stood up, walking to the bedroom, covering her ears. The bass seemed to shake the whole house.

  Jay was in the middle of the room, dancing without a shirt on.

  “Jay,” Y/N spoke, but she couldn’t even hear her own voice over the music, “Jay!” She shouted, but not even that could stop him. She walked to him, and hugged him from behind.

  Jay jumped a little and sighed once he saw who it was. He turned off the music and hugged her back, “Welcome home!”

  Y/N gave a sleepy smile, and kissed his jaw, “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” Jay turned off the speakers all together, “You look tired.”

  “That’s because I am.” Y/N sighed, settling on the bed as PJ and Oscar laid beside her, “I haven’t been this tired in so long.”

  Jay frowned, “Hey, why don’t we do that face mask shit you always want to do? I’m sure that’ll cheer you up and make you less tired.”

  Y/N’s perked up at the work face mask. She’s been meaning to do that, but work has always gotten in the way, “Yea, why don’t we?” She smiled and walked into the bathroom.

  Underneath the sink, she pulled the masks out. “Do you want tiger or panda bear?” She held them up for Jay to choose.

  “Tiger.”

  “I should’ve guessed.” She handed it to Jay, “I’ll put it on for you.”

  Y/N placed the mask onto Jay’s face, smoothing out any bubbles or waves. “It’s cold!”

  “Stop moving your mouth!”

  “It’s cold, and slimy.” Jay complained.

  Y/N pulled her hand away and moved onto her own mask, smoothing it out the same way she did on Jay’s.

  Y/N and Jay both sat in the bedroom, listening to the music. Jay was messing around, singing in an obnoxious way. The face mask began to dry on both of their faces. Y/N was filming him dancing around and laughed a lot.

  “I don’t want to be alone tonight,” He sang to his own song. His hand came down and hit Y/N’s ass in a joking manner.

  Y/N laughed, “Jay, stop it.” He continued doing it, and kissed her softly.

  “Wait, were you filming that?”

  “What? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Jay laughed, “It’s funny because you know exactly what I’m talking about.” Jay hugged her, and laughed, “Delete it.”

  “It’s already on my social media accounts.” She smiled.

  “Ah, you’re really working against me.” Jay laughed, “Come on, let’s take off these masks.” Y/N followed behind Jay, peeling off the facemask. “Move.” Jay laughed, pushing Y/N out of the way to wash off the excesses formula on his face.

  Y/N pouted, rolling her eyes. She pushed his hands out of the way, and the two began to fight over who could use the sink.

  Y/N was able to wash off her face off, and she used a towel to dry it. Jay did the same. Y/N turned to him and hugged him tightly, “Thank you, Jay. It means a lot to me.”

  “It’s no problem, babe. Why don’t you call in sick tomorrow? That way we can chill together.”

  “I’ll see.” Y/N smiled and kissed him softly.

  She was thankful that Jay could cheer her up on such a tiring and boring day.

the official runaways character descriptions certainly are something

Rhenzy Feliz (“Teen Wolf,” “Casual”) as Alex Wilder is a loud-and-proud nerd. Admittedly a bit of a loner, Alex spends much of his free-time playing video games, but deep down, what he wants most is to reunite his childhood group of friends.

The other thing he wants most is called “Third Impact”? I think it’s from one of those Japanese cartoons.

Lyrica Okano (“The Affair,” “Unforgettable”) Nico Minoru–tough, intelligent, and independent–embodies teenage angst. A budding “Wiccan,” Nico’s carefully crafted goth appearance isolates her from her peers and family, but maybe what she really needs is someone to talk to.

Nico was raised Catholic in the comics, and her faith only strengthened when she met the Gibborim in the flesh, so this is a departure… but potentially an interesting one. I’m sure her parents will put on a show of disapproval about her religion – how’s that going to look when she finds out they’re sorcerers? (And how will she react to a source of magic as blatant as the Staff of One?)

Virginia Gardner (“Goat,” “Little Bitches”) as Karolina Dean, model-perfect exterior with a lot going on behind her professionally whitened smile, is burdened by the lofty expectations and responsibilities put upon her by her parents. Underneath her veneer of privilege and perfection, Karolina is experiencing a newfound eagerness to explore her identity and pursue her own desires.

Ariela Barer (“New Girl,” “One Day at a Time”) as Gert Yorkes is a purple-haired, bespectacled, contemporary riot grrrl. Never passing up a moment to stand on a soapbox, Gert sometimes wields her persona as a brash social justice warrior to mask her true feelings.

Nah, Marvel Employee Who Wrote This, “loud and probably card-carrying SJW” is Gert’s actual personality.

Gregg Sulkin (“Faking It,” “Don’t Hang Up,” “Anti Social”) as Chase Stein is a lacrosse-playing, high school heartthrob. While many write him off as a dumb jock, Chase exhibits flashes of untapped brilliance in engineering, not unlike his wildly successful father’s.

“Flashes of untapped brilliance.”

Allegra Acosta (“100 Things to do Before High School,” “Just Add Magic”) as Molly Hernandez, the youngest and most innocent member of her friend group, is known for her peppy positivity and a deep yearning to belong.

Also she’s an Inhuman and mutants are fake.

anonymous asked:

I've heard that often people who are diagnosed til later in life subconsciously develop coping mechanisms to mask their social difficulties. Would you mind listing or talking about some, as I don't appear to have many social difficulties, but I wonder if this could be due to me subconsciously developing coping mechanisms? (I'm not pro dx, but I'm pretty sure I'm autistic, I just don't have that many of the social difficulties).

One of the ways that autistic people develop coping skills is by studying others. We can often learn social rules, at least to some extent, by studying those around us. For instance, if someone doesn’t understand the social rules surrounding compliments, they may watch how other people respond to compliments and then make scripts based off of how others respond. 

Another example of a developed coping mechanism is looking at someone’s eyebrows/nose/etc. rather than their eyes to make it seem like you are making eye contact without actually having to. 

We may also come up with standard answers (scripts) for many social situations that we would otherwise struggle with, like small talk. We may always respond the same way to questions like “How are you?” 

That’s all I can think of for now. Followers, if you can think of other examples, please add on. 

-Sabrina

Today on social media
Liam: mask off
Zayn: green hair
Niall: master winner wins green jacket
Louis: follows Lorde with green light song
Harry: fucks us up

Coincidence!?!

Depression.

Depression creeps upon you quietly. At the very beginning you struggle with the little things, but usually you decide to ignore them.
It’s like a headache. You ’ll tell yourself it’s temporary and it will pass. It’s just another bad day. But it’s not, you are stuck in this state of mind. You get used to putting on a social mask and you continue to live among other people, because that’s what you have to do. That’s what others do. However, the problem does not go away. You struggle to put on a play every day and it starts to cost you more and more. That is why you fall even deeper and that’s when you slowly start to back away from friends and family, sometimes completely shutting them out.
All satisfaction is gone. The little things that used to bring you Joy are now worthless. Even the simplest tasks become painful. That is why you lack motivation. Now.. why would you keep on trying if nothing makes you happy anyway? All of this makes you feel even worse and you get caught up in a vicious circle. Suddenly you find yourself living in slow motion. Days become indistinguishable.. just white noise.. just heaviness, filling your mind and spilling over your body. You feel as though you ’ll never be happy again. You continue to back away and destroying relationships. You are ashamed for everything you have done and everything you haven’t.
There is a part of you that wants to make thing right. A sudden positive upsurge makes you to go out and meet new people, but.. it’s all very short-lived because you know it won’t work anyway. Things that make your friends excited leave you indifferent and you becomes aware of the huge gap that lies between you. Another failure is not an option, so in the end you choose to be alone in the comfort zone that no one ask questions.
The low self-esteem and the lack of perpose become unbearable. You finally realized that you can’t go on and two things can happen : you either decide to get some help, or you might attempt a  suicide..

On social “masks” and cluster-B personality disorders

So I got an anon telling me that it “doesn’t seem like” I have AsPD or NPD despite the fact that I was prof diagnosed with both. I was diagnosed with AsPD in late 2015 and then NPD in mid 2016. So about seeming as if I don’t have it…

The funny thing with cluster-B personality disorders is that we usually build “social masks” for people, especially if we’re more social online than irl. But the thing is that when we trust those people and we take those masks off, suddenly we’re hated for being unempathetic or “emotionless”. 

What I mean is that people will still love you even if you have AsPD or NPD (or both, like me) but the moment you get tired and can’t handle showing fake empathy anymore… The moment you’re finally like “hey I honestly can’t relate to your emotions can we please get off this subject of you using me as a therapist because that’s how it feels right now and I feel disrespected by you and I’m really tired and can’t handle this,”

The moment you show that you have low empathy or a low sense of emotions, people will suddenly hate you.

So my point is that I wear social masks even online and I don’t really like to take them off. I try to keep my impulses and aggression and unempathetic nature in check. I understand that if I acted how I truly wanted to act, that I’d be just as low as those people who use their personality disorders to be toxic and gross to people – and god knows my NPD can’t have me being as low as those inferiors.

Just because I try to enjoy life and just because I try to be nice to people doesn’t mean I’ve been diagnosed incorrectly. Just because I understand societal norms, morals, and how people expect you to act with things doesn’t mean I don’t have AsPD or NPD.

Besides, as I said, my heavily humorous, erratic, and keyboard-smashing nature is pretty much a ruse to allow people to feel comfortable around me. If I show myself as how I truly am (an unempathetic person who has issues with impulse control and feeling emotions other than rage and annoyance), then people will automatically hate me. I don’t care if someone hates me but I’d prefer people not to, yknow?

beetoast  asked:

Hello new Overwatch imagines blog! You seem cool, and I'm excited to see some more content from you! Can you maybe do some overall relationship headcanons with Pharah and Prefall Morrison(separately would be preferred)? Thank you, I hope you're having a lovely day.

Aw, you’re so sweet! :3 Also thank you so much for be specific-I am easily confused due to second guessing and overthinking! ^^’ I hope you enjoy this!
~Mod Fennec

Pharah
* Although serious and professional on the outside, Pharah is actually a really fun person to hang out with
* She also has quite the sense of humor and knows how to laugh at herself and others without being rude
* Will almost never do impressions or anything to be funny but
* She can come up with the perfect pun for any occasion
* Puns 24/7
* There are absolutely no secrets in this relationship
* From a secret she’s never told anyone to what book she’s currently reading-she tells you everything
* You’re her safe place
* And she’s always 100% honest
* Note that due to her loyal nature she’s faithful
* But is usually blunt and straightforward when it comes to serious things
* She’s pretty chill and likes just sitting on the couch with tea reading a book, watching a movie, talking, or just anything as long as it’s with you
* Usually Pharah is pretty laid back and likes to have relationships be as undemanding as possible
* But she is a bit of a hypocrite since she can be a little over the top with even the smallest things
* From an amazing Valentines Day with the finest chocolates, softest teddy bears, prettiest music, and nicest hotels to just holding all the bags when you both go shopping
* She’s really just a sweetheart
* If she’s tall enough (and she probably is) she likes to hug you from behind and rest her head on top of yours
* Being adventurous, she likes to do crazy things with you
* Skydiving, bungee jumping, anything honestly
* Teaching you to use a jet pack was one of the first things she did and she likes to fly around with you
* Some couples go for drives
* You guys go jet packing
* She can’t cook to save her life so I hope your culinary skills are excellent
* Otherwise it’s takeout
* Which usually ends up in her failing at trying to use chopsticks
* But she can make the best tea, coffee, or any other drink
* Likes to sleep facing away from you but with your back touching
* Nose kisses are her favorite
* Gives amazing back rubs
* Overall, a super fun girlfriend that makes you her priority


Prefall!Jack Morrison
* He’s a little old fashioned
* Opens doors for you, holds your bags, takes your hat and coat when you walk in, etc.
* Chivalry isn’t dead
* Extremely selfless and would do practically anything for you
* Enjoys walks in the park, movies, and dinner
* Also note that if you ever brought home any animal he would scold you a little and demand that they take it back tomorrow but the next day he’d be the one begging to keep it
* Hides his shyness and social awkwardness behind a mask of confidence
* So it took him a lot to be able to talk to you but when he finally did he seemed calm about it
* Always tries to show off in front of you
* Which has resulted in a few minor injuries
* Enjoys playing hero whether is getting things from a top shelf or scaring off creeps
* Probably met him when there was a creep trying to make a move on you and he intervened by pretending to be your boyfriend
* Which he apologized for afterwards
* Then you both probably became best friends which led to this relationship
* Probably you both confessed at the same time during on of your late night talks
* “Tell a secret on 1…2…3…”
* That kind of thing
* Actually really good a cooking but hates to cook
* But you can usually persuade him with those puppy dog eyes, he can’t resist them
* Likes to listen to music while he cooks which usually results in you both dancing in the kitchen
* Which has caused several meals to burn
* An early riser but will usually end up just watching you sleeping because he loves you so much
* Morning make outs happen quite often
* Will usually have you sit on his back while he does push-ups
* Or spot him while he lifts
* He loves to do that thing where your shoulders touch while watching a movie
* His favorite sleeping position with you is the honeymoon hug
* He isn’t the type to go over the top with anything but still keep it sweet
* He pretty much does care what you want to do as long as he’s with you
* Overall, he’s the kind to make the best out of any situation just so he can see you smile
Hope you enjoyed!

Caesura |  A Lucissa Birthday Ficlet for @disillusionist9

Lucius rubbed his forehead.  He’d escaped the party of the century, orchestrated as a political and social coup by the bride’s terrifying, and tedious, mother and though he knew he’d have to go back out and mingle he needed a few minutes to just breathe.   He could see her, the old witch, circulating through the guests in her black robes with a hat so pointed it had to be starched, a glass of whiskey in her hand that elves had been diligent about keeping filled.  He wondered how she could even stay upright by now, but this was her triumph and she clearly intended to enjoy every moment of it.

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