social-conformity

Planets in astrology and what they represent

Sun: 

  • your ego
  • your nature
  • not changing part of yourself
  • the dynamic expression of your will
  • what’s obvious about you for others
  • your actions

Moon:

  • what you see in yourself (not always)
  • your emotional nature
  • your (immediate) reactions
  • unconscious behavior patterns you developed
  • what satisfies you emotionally
  • how you treat/nurture others
  • usually only comes out when you’re in your comfort zone
  • how you feel
  • shows relationship with mother and women in general
  • why you feel the way you feel

Mercury:

  • communication
  • thoughts
  • way you analyze and understand
  • transportation
  • learning
  • what kind of learning and communication you prefer
  • “day-to-day” cleverness

Venus:

  • love
  • joy
  • beauty
  • harmony
  • represents female
  • how you express affection
  • what you feel attracted to
  • what you attract
  • the way you spend your money

Mars:

  • represents male
  • conflict, aggression/forcefulness
  • outright war
  • sex drive
  • physical energy
  • vitality, energy level, style of action
  • represents human will-initiative

Jupiter:

  • good luck, success
  • generosity/charity
  • optimism
  • knowledge, higher learning & breadth of vision
  • frankness/honesty
  • good-will
  • confidence
  • search for meaning and truth
  • represents law & justice, philosphy, religion & metaphysics, education
  • urge of self-improvement
  • ethical, religious, philosophical standars

Saturn:

  • limitation/boundaries
  • safety
  • practicality
  • reality
  • seriousness, structures
  • ambition
  • career & authority, hierarchy, conforming social structures
  • concerns sense of duty/responsibility, discipline
  • indicates the area in life in which you probably feel shame
  • shows areas where you have to learn specific lesson

Uranus:

  • unconscious urge to be aware of inner individuality (sun)
  • flashes of insight
  • revolution, change
  • shock, disruptions
  • forces sudden changes when necessary
  • encompasses technology, electronic devices

Neptune:

  • dissolves life’s patterns to teach new meanings
  • things that are different from their appearance
  • the illusive, unreal/unreality
  • receptivity 
  • imagination, cloudiness
  • confusion, delusion, illusion
  • associated with acting/movies, compassion
  • represents intangible (and makes it real)

Pluto: 

  • unconscious urge to live out your role in society’s evolution
  • sexuality (act itself)
  • obesssive desires
  • transformation
  • power
  • ingredients of great wealth (investments, banking, etc.)
  • drastic changes in civilization can be linked to Pluto since it’s the slowest planet and a whole generation is affected by it
  • recklessness
  • mental obsession, compulsion
  • emotional resistance
  • overall transcendence
The "Myth" of Black Love

Let me start off by saying that I got inspiration for this post from another post about the disillusionment of a black woman about dating within the black community, expressing that too many black men aren’t attracted to black women and ideally go for non black women. Which got me thinking that with all this recent promotion of black couples via social media, I feel like we can’t just focus on the pros of black love, but we must also bring to light the darker, behind the scenes reality for black women finding love among black men who directly and indirectly express their refusal to be with black women.

I get it, the praise for black love has to do with unifying the black community by saying, “See, black men and women DO love each other.” And yes, I believe it. I don’t believe the photos I see of black couples on social media are fake or anything, but can we also bring to light female black singles and how their singleness is affected by the presence of misogyny noir and anti blackness among black men? Dating in general is hard, but imagine how dating is as not only a black person, but a black woman who does not fit Eurocentric beauty standards (such as light skin, light eyes, loose hair, slim facial features, etc.) Often times I commonly see these types of “conventionally” attractive black women paired up with black men more so than mono-racial looking black women - I wonder why?

As a mono-racial, dark skinned black woman who grew up in predominantly white spaces, from my own experiences on and offline, I can confidently say that a lot of black men don’t consider me to necessarily be their “ideal” type based off black and white standards of beauty, and I feel like black and white standards of beauty go hand in hand for obvious reasons having to do with cultural assimilation, a history of colonization, and so on. Which brings me right to another point I’d like to make about looks equating to superiority or inferiority. Sure, you can’t judge a book by the cover yet too often black men do so, falling prone to the stereotypes associated with non black ethnicities of women - so it’s not just about non black women meeting a Eurocentric standard of beauty easier than most black women. It’s also about how black men view them as less “controlling” than black women, therefore more agreeable and “nicer” JUST due to ethnicity and ethnicity alone. Mind you, I’m not saying black men who date outside their ethnicity all have agendas behind their attractions, BUT I am still iffy about their reasonings for “racial preferences.” I think now is a good time to quote myself from the post about the disillusioned black woman:

“And whenever I see a black woman who exclusively dates outside the black community I feel like it’s not for the same reasons black men often do it - for black women who either often or only date non black men I feel like I have more understanding for them because of the treatment they receive from black men who often have no issue with voicing how undesirable black women are to them. That gives black women more authority of their love lives by expanding their dating pool (since the lot of black women go for black mates) vs. black men who often go for non black women for superficial, anti black reasons rooted in sexism. So when a black woman says “I don’t date black dudes” I don’t see it as excusable but at the same time I understand her reasons for doing so more than a black man refusing to date black women. I feel like black women are often looking for genuine love, the kind of love too many black men can’t give them because of their racial baggage, while said black men are oftentimes looking for trophies to use to spite black women and make non black men “envy” them for “stealing” their women.”

You read it right. I do feel like a lot of black men aren’t capable of loving black women the way they need to be loved, which has to do with seeing their blackness in the same way that they see their own and not letting gender be the deciding factor concerning superiority vs. inferiority, especially if said black women don’t fit the Eurocentric standard of beauty. I will say that non black men aren’t the “golden ticket” of black women in order for them to find love - there’s undeniably issues of anti blackness and sexism in all communities. But at the same time since non black men aren’t hit the hardest by racism, since anti blackness is global, they do have less baggage from that and less pressure to socially conform in my eyes. Because really, I believe more non black men are attracted to black women more so than they let on, it’s just that their cultural ties such as pleasing family and community hold them back from acting on this attraction confidently.

We really do need to have a real conversation about misogyny noir alongside “black love.” Because part of the way black men are going to love black women unconditionally has to do with an awareness of their own social conditioning and their own perceptions of black womanhood.

3 Kinds of INFP

All INFP’s share the same cognitive functions, however differences in behavior and motivation can be quite drastic. The best explanation for these kinds of differences is Enneagram. Enneagram is a personality theory that assesses trauma, motivation and behavior, it can be used along side MBTI as they do not cancel each other out in any way. Any MBTI type can potentially be any Enneagram type. Unlike MBTi, where the point is to develop INTO the best your type can be, the point of Enneagram is to develop OUT of your type, basically categorizing it as a self-help tool. INFP’s are often enough one of 3 types. It is absolutely possible to not be one of these types, and my description of each kind of INFP will not correspond directly with the broader scale of each enneagram type (example; I’m explaining what a type “X” INFP looks like not what a type “X” looks like) I have met or am each of these types of INFP and here is my assessment:

Type 4 INFP

Type 4′s are often called the “Individualists”, “Romantics” or “Artists”. This makes up the biggest portion of INFP’s. I’d say almost half. This is the classic INFP. The feeler, the lover, the emotional and rhapsodical idealist. The princess in her castle, the poet writing in water, the passionate artist. This type of INFP puts alot of weight on Fi and the Fi truly “wields” the Ne. This Fi is organic, true, and uncompromised by anything. Type 4 INFP’s are likely to feel the greatest depths of pain and sorrow of any of us. Type 4 INFP’s might describe emotional pain as so real it physically hurts. With that passion comes poetry, art, and beautiful written word. This type is likely to have deep moral convictions based on ethics and empathy. This type of INFP is highly dramatic, bringing to mind shakespearean theatrics. This can manifest as scathing drama, emotional appeals to the heart or just general hellfire and brimstone. Certainly the most likely type of INFP to cry and/or throw a fit when they feel overlooked or invalidated. Has the speech pattern of someone writing in their diary. This type tends to be a wallflower due to being unable to conform to social norms or put on a face for anyone. May be a person of few words due to only being able to be honest. This kind of INFP is highly individualistic, craving authenticity more than any other type of INFP. They’re likely to see trends, fashions, cliques and fame as highly detestable. The type of INFP to hate and never want to be “the cool kids”. This kind of authenticity is very attractive to those who love authenticity and originality, as these INFP’s have it in spades. Always interesting and always unique, these INFP’s can be highly cherished by friends and family and highly sought after as lovers. This subset of INFP’s might be the most romantically minded of any other subset of any other type. However, they are plagued by fears of being abandoned, and when alone, wish for someone to come and save them. Type 4 INFP′s believe that someone (or something, maybe a religion or philosophy) is going to come into their lives and make them whole, and can have trouble generally feeling whole in and of themselves. Overall, this kind of INFP’s personifies on of the most lovable subsets of human beings. Genuine, authentic, passionate, and creative. This kind of INFP is capable of the most beautiful and genuine expressions of human emotion of just about anyone. 

Type 9 INFP 


This type of INFP is also very well known but less of the population than Type 4′s. Type 9′s have been called “The Peacemaker” or “The Mediator”. This Type of INFP is very sensitive to conflict and great at seeing others perspectives. This INFP is great at giving advice and helping with others problems and generally being a caring shoulder to cry on. Often being mistaken for INFJ’s, Type 9 INFP’s still have staunch values and an openly hyperactive mind, they’re just less pushy about their views. This Type of INFP can be seen as having a very balanced function set, not weighing to heavily on any functions. They are very laid-back, non-judgemental, and sensitive to others thoughts and feelings. This type is likely to have a weak definition of self, seeing themselves in everything. They might see themselves as “a little of column A, a little of column B, quite honesty”. They might outwardly appear to not greatly enjoy or strongly feel about anything. They may struggle to say exactly who they are and what they stand for, being cautious of taking any harsh or finite stances on things. They really don’t want to offend anyone or be offended. They just don’t want a conflict to break out. This type seems to have the strongest shadow Ni of any kind of INFP, easily seeing other perspectives and views. They are still, however, separate from INFJ because they are still associative creatures rather than dissociative, relaying new information through the lens of their own understanding and experience. This kind of INFP was often neglected or silenced as a child and taught to not think of themselves as important. As a consequence of this, they are likely to see other people as having more intrinsic worth than they do. (not in a type 2 way, mind you, or in an Fe way, in a self-depreciating way) This can cause this type of INFP to think nothing they do is important, and kill any drive for them to do anything. Because of this, this INFP is kind of a loaner and maybe pretty lazy and slothful. However, these same qualities can make these type 9′s, self-sacrificing and loving friends. They are a wonderful, understanding and compassionate shoulder to cry on. They are just as happy talking about any topic with you as any other, and the most imaginative and flexible people you will ever meet. 

Type 6 INFP

Somewhat lesser known, but about as common as type 9 INFP’s, Type six INFP’s are cautious, inquisitive and loyal. Type 6′s are often called “The Loyalist” “The Detective” and “The doubter”. This kind of INFP focus’s much more on the Ne/Si axis than the other kind of INFP’s and can seem to effortlessly match even ENFP’s in outward intuition. However, this comes at a price as this type of INFP tends to use that ability to worry quite a lot. This type of INFP is highly insecure, spending a lot of time in “what if” scenarios and wondering if things will turn out okay. Due to just how much time they spend doing that, they get rather good at guessing outcomes and asking the right questions. 
This type of INFP craves security, they value unconditional love and stability above just about anything. They are plagued with doubts in their relationships, personal struggles, and careers. They can really bring down the mood and bother people with this behavior. They image countless scenarios in which things can turn out bad, and really just need guidance and a gentle push out of such thinking from friends and loved ones. Guidance, security and reassurance are paramount to a type 6 INFP, and anyone who gives them this will receive a loyal and passionate ally. This kind of INFP is also highly opinionated as they become very attached to things that mean something to them. They might go on a rant at or about people who disagree or ideologically oppose them due to their deep and inseparable attachment to their owns thoughts, preferences and philosophies. 
This is they type of INFP to seem to be really into a handful of things and talk about them non-stop. “I have all their albums” “I’ve been going here for years” “I have a blog about it” “I’ve read tons of books about it” They’re very loyal to bands, ideas, philosophies, values, ideologies, artists and people. 
Valuing stability, this kind of INFP is much more sensible and practical than the average INFP, and less likely to be emotionally turbulent. They stand in solidarity with thier self-concept and values. They rarely question thier identity or the validity of their feelings. Due to this, much more energy goes into the Ne/Si axis and allows type 6′s INFP’s to be great philosophers and thinkers, asking the right questions and stead-fastly seeking answers. All makes the type 6′s a fierce debater, playful philosopher, and loyal companion. 


Thank you all so much for reading, I hope you INFP’s out there find yourself in this. There are also many type 2, 5, 1 and 7 INFP’s out there but i wanted to focus on the common ones here. The roughly 10% or so of INFP’s who aren’t a 4, 9, or 6 should feel special! I hope you’ve enjoyed this very much!

~INFP-sama
Public Shame

As I mentioned, I recently read Jon Ronson’s book “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed” and thought it made some very compelling points on the renaissance of public shaming in the age of social media.  I was going to post my highlights, but then I realized I’d highlighted about 30% of the book, so instead:

I wrote down what I thought were some of the key, take-home points the book made, and pulled quotes from the book in no particular order for each of them.  It’s  still a wall of text, but feel free to wade in if you’re interested.

Again, I strongly recommend giving this book a read.

  • Public shaming is often motivated by a belief that one is Doing Good
  • Public shaming is about social conformity
  • Public shaming can make us LESS aware of viewpoints different that our own 
  • Shame works because we are all afraid
  • Shaming others can bring out our own brutality
  • Shame leads to dehumanization and “death of the soul”
  • Shame leads to violence
  • Technology has strange warping effects on how public shaming affects us (and social media shaming can have longer impacts than we expect)
  • There is evidence that “De-shaming” may have more positive outcomes than shaming

quotes from the book supporting each point under the cut. (bolding mine, quotes by paragraph and in no particular order)

Keep reading

Queer Self-Presentation and Burlesque Auto-Sexuality in Yuri Plisetsky’s “Welcome to the Madness”

PHEW! It’s finally ready for ya! 

Thanks to everyone for patiently waiting. I was overwhelmed with the response to my teaser post about this meta. I’m sorry it took so long to finish… I had to write the academic version for class, then rewrite it to be tumblr-appropriate (I’m still not sure that it is, constructive criticism is welcome!)

I’m hoping that this will contribute to the ongoing conversation about underage characters in fandom, and am looking forward to your asks. I’m a little nervous to be tossing my hat into the Otayuri discourse, but I hope I won’t catch too much hate.

I took out footnotes but included the bibliography at the end. If you have any questions about specific references, send me an ask or DM :)

Enjoy!

(2272 words)

Keep reading

Reverse Psychology

Rosie Watson-Holmes possessed many extraordinary qualities, but she was a typical eleven-year-old in one respect: she found her parents’ behaviour mortifying.  It wasn’t her dad’s insistence on wearing hideous jumpers, or her papa’s tendency to leave random body parts in the freezer.  Those quirks she could tolerate.  No, what drove Rosie ‘round the twist was how sickeningly in love her parents were.

Of course, Rosie was glad that her dads loved each other.  She never had to worry — as so many of her friends did — about constant fighting, separation, or divorce.  Loving each other would be fine, if they would just keep it to themselves.  But no.  They had to parade it in front of the world: staring at each other like besotted bush babies, walking hand-in-hand down the street, even calling each other pet names in front of her friends.

When Rosie tried, in a mature and perfectly reasonable way, to suggest to her parents that they might want to consider keeping their private lives, you know, private, the response she got was wholly unsatisfactory.

“Are you worried that people might talk?” her dad asked.  

Before Rosie could answer, her papa said, “People do little else.”

Then they gave each other one of those looks, and her dad said, “At least your papa isn’t ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool,” and the two of them burst into completely inappropriate giggles.  Two grown men, behaving like love-struck teenagers.  They were hopeless.

So, the direct approach was a failure.  Time to try a different tack.  After some research online, Rosie decided to conduct an experiment.  She laid out the parameters in her notebook.  

Question:  What can be done to eliminate test subjects’ public displays of affection?

Background Information:  Test subjects believe that it is unnecessary to conform to social norms, because “It’s important to just be yourself” (Dad) and “Most people are idiots” (Papa).

Hypothesis:  The use of reverse psychology will result in a reduction in test subjects’ PDA.        

Method:  Chart baseline levels of PDA for one week.  Implement reverse psychology strategy by leading test subjects to believe (erroneously) that classmates’ parents are more openly affectionate with each other, and suggesting that in order to fit in test subjects ought to be more verbally and physically demonstrative in public.  Chart levels of PDA for a second week, and compare data.

It was soon clear that Rosie’s experiment had gone horribly wrong.

The hand-holding had been replaced by walking down the street with their arms fully around one another.  The occasional “Sweetheart” and “Darling” and “Honey Bee” had become a constant stream of “Angel Baby Cake” and “Cuddle Bunny Lumpkins” and “Shmoopsie Pookie Pie.”  Determined to see her experiment through, though, Rosie forced herself to smile and tell her parents how cute they were.

On the third day, Rosie walked into the flat with a friend to find her dads actually snogging on the sofa.  With an embarrassed squeak, she dragged her friend up the stairs and slammed the door to her room.

John pulled his lips away from Sherlock’s to ask, “Should we let Rosie know that we’re on to her?”

“No.  This is her experiment.  Let’s wait for her to draw her own conclusions.”


Written for the @sherlockchallenge March prompt: Experiment Gone Wrong.

Tags under the cut - please let me know if you’d like me to tag or untag you

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TAROT CHEAT SHEET #3

CUPS - feelings, emotion, subconscious, love, compassion

PAGE | happy surprise, inner child, intuition
®* | immaturity, escapism, leaving reality for fantasy
KNIGHT | romance, adventurism, an invitation
® | moodiness, someone who is too charming, heated emotion/temper
QUEEN | nurturing, compassionate, comforting, kind
® | cold, compassion run dry, over-reliance on her kindness
KING |  control over emotions, diplomatic, compassionate
® | manipulative, a master of emotions with selfish intentions
ACE | new love, overflowing feelings, beginning of emotional fulfillment
® | wasted emotions, blocked creative potential
II | unity, partnership, sex, intermingling
® | imbalance, tension, broken communication
III | friendship, merriment, community, social pleasure
® | herd mentality, conformity, lack of independence
IV | dissatisfaction with life, apathy, ignoring potential joys
® | taking something for granted, aloofness, boredom
V | loss, but something remains to be salvaged
® | acceptance, moving on from dark times, healing
VI |  nostalgia, happy memories, sentimental
® | clinging to the past, resisting change & growth
VII | many choices, some offer riches, others offer disaster
® | temptation can draw you to ruin
VIII |  abandoning something, disillusionment, leaving behind
® | fear of the unknown, inability to leave a bad situation
IX | comfort, luxury, self-satisfaction, smugness
® | greed, dissatisfaction, wanting more
X | happiness, fulfillment, contentment
® | shattered dreams, false success, bad relationships

= reverse card meaning*® = reverse card meaning

Tarot Cheat Sheet #1 - Major Arcana

Tarot Cheat Sheet #2 - Wands

Tarot Cheat Sheet #3 - Cups

Tarot Cheat Sheet #4 - Swords

Tarot Cheat Sheet #5 - Pentacles

hey mom and dad (my coming out letter to my parents)

I debated sharing this on tumblr for a while, but figured if someone is struggling coming out to their conservative parents, there’s a chance this could help. I wrote a letter as not to put them on the spot, to allow them their own time to process it, and to give them a tangible part of myself so they could not dismiss it in conversation.

Please feel free to message me if you have questions or want advice in talking to your parents. I’m more than happy to share more of my story with you.


“As you both know, I’m much better at expressing myself through writing than in person. So even though we talked about some important things at dinner the other night, the topic that was intended to be covered was not. I was already feeling tense and nervous and had put a lot of pressure on myself, and for sharing something this personal I didn’t want the energy to be negative. There was also a lot of anticipation from everyone at the table and I didn’t want that to add to the possible ‘shock factor’ or put anyone on the spot.

The more I learn about human patterns and behavior, the more I learn about how willing people are to conform to social norms, conscious or not. Sometimes things that seem petty can be so influential on a person’s identity and sense of self without them even realizing it. I think it’s apparent that I have grown to the point of critically analyzing the way things are instead of accepting them at face value. I’m still making progress in this area, but being aware that the world’s expectations of me are not always who I am has helped me learn some things about myself that never seemed like viable options.

You have both witnessed the boys I have dated growing up and I know you weren’t all that crazy about any of them. Honestly neither was I- but I’m sure that was pretty apparent. I’d never experienced the heartbreak that I saw [my sister] experience with her relationships. I never really went through the typical teenage-girl “boy crazy” phase.  Mom, you’ve told me with every boyfriend that I’m a heartbreaker because of my apathy in the relationship. The most I’ve been hurt by other people is when friendships end- not when romantic relationships have ended. Of course, many things are factors of my lack of caring when it comes to boyfriends, but I think one of the main ones is just that I don’t want to date boys. And I don’t know if I ever really have, or if that was a reflection of me trying to find my place in society- conforming to what the world expects from me.

Then I met [my best friend, a man], who is essentially everything I thought I wanted in a boyfriend at the time. And yet I still could not bring myself to date him. There was still something missing aside from our personal compatibility. I value how close my friendship with him is and I want the best for him, but I have no desire to be his girlfriend or to have him as my boyfriend, or to have a boyfriend. I don’t know if you know where this is going yet, or if you are surprised at all by this statement, but I don’t want to date men. I want to date women (want to, lol. I’m still alone). That is who I am.

I’m the same person I was before you read this- the only thing that has changed is me deciding it’s time to open up to you. I love and appreciate you and the support you have shown me through the years and I hope you can still see me as me and not as a label. The only difference you can expect is for me to be more comfortable in being myself around you and not feeling like I have to hide a part of myself from you.”


side note: I left this letter in their room then left the country for a week where I had no service. not even sorry lol

It’s really not a privilege for girls and women to be “seen and accepted" as their “gender”, since gender is actually a social construct created to subordinate women. “Gender” for women equals oppression. We’re not privileged for being forced or socialized into conforming to an oppressive norm, even when it gives us some kind of validation (since the validation is the poison used to keep us in place). With that said, gender non-conforming women are brave, amazing and defying oppression. They pave the way.

Break out of the prison of social conformity. I understand the walls are high and you feel barricaded in but you can rise above it. I know it is probably just easier to sit in an isolated corner and depend solely on wifi and likes from strangers. I know it is probably just easier to wear plain clothes so that you “fit in.” We are isolated in a prison where we wear the same clothes and think the same things! Break out of it! Open your mind to new ideas and think for yourself! Don’t always believe your mind! Your mind is not you; it is a formation of other people’s opinions and radicalised  portrayals from the media. There are no reasonable excuses for you not to break down the wall and break through the social norm. Why do we fear judgment from outside the walls when the only person we were put on this earth to please is ourselves? I’m so grateful that I’m coming to terms with this all and can finally express who I am whole-heartedly and unashamedly. Don’t let the judgmental on-looking guards keep you in this prison. On the other side of this point, keep an eye out for people attempting to get out of this social security. A compliment goes a long way and might just give that human an extra boost of confidence to break through. Sending all my love to everyone reading this.
ASPD and BPD, Why Are They Different?

ASPD:
* Pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others.
* Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors.
* Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, using aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
* Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
* Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults.
* Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.
* Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.
* Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

BPD:
* Pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships.
*  Frantic Efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
*  A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
*  Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
*  Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, drug abuse, or binge eating).
*  Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
*  Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
*  Chronic feelings of emptiness.
*  Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
*  Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

———-

Above are the list of symptoms or characteristic traits for ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I’m going to do my best to sift through these symptoms and differentiate between the two personality disorders. I’m sure, just reading this by yourself, you can already see a few differences and if it’s glaringly obvious that they’re not the same thing, then this post isn’t for you. 

———-

First Symptom: As you can see, those with ASPD have persistently shown to be out for themselves; they disregard the needs of others and only look to benefit themselves. Whereas those with BPD are unstable and have difficulty maintaining any sort of personal relationship; this could potentially be confused with persistent greed and only loving themselves quite like someone with ASPD, but the key difference here is that someone with ASPD is consciously disregarding the rights and needs of others for themselves. Those with BPD are impulsive and unstable in their identity and therefore frequently disassociate themselves with their identity and anything tied to it.

Second Symptom:  These aren’t even remotely the same. Again, someone with ASPD is looking out for them and only them. They will do what they want when they want. Someone with BPD is frequently dealing with abandonment issues (real or imagined) because of their unstable identity and the subsequent impulsivity that comes with it.

Third Symptom: Someone with ASPD is typically a chronic liar. They lie for personal gain or profit in one respect or another; they have the tendency to lie even when it serves no real purpose at all. Someone with BPD, again, has a problem with their identity and the relationships that come along with an identity. But they can still easily form a relationship and when they do, they’re intense in one form or another. The intensity can range from idolizing the other person in the relationship or completely devaluing them. Either way, intense fluctuation of strong emotions are seen here, and that’s completely opposite to the identity of ASPD. Sure, you might see someone with ASPD pretend to elicit emotions for personal profit, but there in lies the problem, they don’t have any empathetic value.  

Fourth Symptom: Those with ASPD and BPD tend to be impulsive and this, at times, can make it very difficult to differentiate between the two personality disorders. You have to remember that some personality disorders share symptoms, but if they’re categorized as different personality disorders they have enough clear and distinct symptoms to differentiate between the two. Though, those with ASPD do NOT share the loss of identity or lack of self-image that those with BPD deal with. Again, someone with ASPD might change their identity superficially in order to manipulate another but at the end of the day, they know who they are and realize that they’re putting on a show and nothing more. Someone with BPD frequently struggles to identity who they really are and why they exist; there is no returning to a normal, stabilized identity.

Fifth Symptom: Both those with ASPD and BPD have patterns of being aggressive at one point or another, but those with ASPD usually get angry or irritable because of X. Y. or Z. Those with BPD can experience random fits of anger for no reason whatsoever. Also, we’ve already established that both can be impulsive, but those with BPD tend to be impulsive in a self-damaging manner whereas someone with ASPD can be impulsive in almost any aspect of life.

Sixth Symptom: Those with ASPD tend to be reckless as well as impulsive. This recklessness comes with a lack of regard for safety for themselves or others around them, but while they may lack regard, they’re not intentionally trying to hurt themselves. Whereas  someone with BPD experiences reoccurring suicidal behavior with the explicit intention to harm themselves.

Seventh Symptom: Those with ASPD are also irresponsible and that’s categorized by failure to be consistent in work ethic, schedule, or anything of that nature. Someone with BPD is unstable in almost all regards. They frequently suffer from an intense change of mood and dissatisfaction with life. While someone with ASPD can be quick to get angry or lose their temper they’re not prone to random mood swings caused by nothing other than their neurological makeup.

Eighth Symptom: Those with ASPD exhibit a consistent lack of remorse that consists  of justifying or flat out not caring about whatever misconduct they’ve caused. Whereas someone with BPD will consistently feel empty. There is a very crucial difference here. While someone with ASPD may not be capable of feeling remorse or caring about their misgivings they usually DO NOT feel empty in their life. Doing whatever you want without regard or care for others is, reversely, rather freeing and invigorating.

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BPD has two more characteristics or symptoms more than ASPD so we can look at them by themselves and compare if we have to. 

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Ninth Symptom (BPD): Inappropriate or intense fits of anger that the individual usually has a hard time controlling. As we covered before, both those with ASPD and BPD can get angry quickly, but someone with ASPD is more prone to get angry because of a motive or provocation rather than being angry just to be angry like those with BPD.

Tenth Symptom(BPD): Short lasting and stress-related paranoid formation of ideas or dissociation from oneself. Those with ASPD tend to be very detached from their emotions and, therefore, aren’t know to have problems with anxiety or stress; they also tend to be very carefree and removed from any responsibility or obligation which is very inconsistent with the paranoia and stress related problems those with BPD deal with.

In summation, while those with ASPD and BPD do share some key traits they also tend to be dissimilar in many more. Trying to call the two the same thing would be like comparing a shark to a minnow because they both swim and have gills. I hope I’ve helped to clarify the confusion you might (or might not) have had between the two personality disorders.  

Source: DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Addition).

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Lesbian and Bisexual Women and Trans and Intersex People Are Left Behind
Every year on International Women’s Day we are reminded that we still live in a world where most women are left behind. This is especially true for lesbi...

Every year on International Women’s Day​ we are reminded that we still live in a world where most women are left behind.

This is especially true for lesbian and bisexual+ women as well as trans and intersex people (LBTI people) who face multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination daily.

Patriarchy, misogyny, homophobia [Ed note: and Biphobia and Bisexual Erasure … note that even here in this better than average piece we were just erased!], and transphobia are all intricately linked, oppressing and marginalizing LBTI people, resulting in exclusion and violence in the domestic and public sphere.

Immense social pressure to conform to gender roles forces many into hiding and silence, invisibilizing their experiences of subjugation and discrimination. 

“Your mystical journey begins with emptying yourself of all thoughts, images, beliefs, labels, tendencies, concepts, struggles, fears, egoic desires, expectations, personal narratives and social conformity.

Have the courage to awaken out of dream-like identification with form and disappear completely into the birthless and deathless dimension of Eternal Witnessing.”   -Anon I mus

what she says: im fine

what she means: The Big Picture Show, the finale of the hit cartoon network series, Ed Edd & Eddy, was a masterpiece of its time. Not only was it an overall enjoyable film, the character development was outstanding, and I dont understand how nobody talks about it. The main character, Eddy, turned out to be an abused kid just wanting to socially conform, and he finally owns up to his mistakes. He realizes the affect of his actions, and everything crashes down on him as he breaks down crying in front of his two only friends, apologizing. Something completely out of character for Eddy. Not only that, but the entirety of the kids living in the cul de sac didnt act like heartless, flat characters and continue to treat him like a joke in reaction to this apology. instead, they understood, and accepted it, and defended their friend in need once they saw how abusive Eddy’s brother was to him, truly showing the entire aspect and good nature of these children. Their relationships strengthen, and everybody in the film develops somehow.  All of the characters are so unique and fun, and they also add very human attributes that are not only relatable but touching to the heart when they interact in the end. Also that song in the end that they all sing tgether? fuck. fuck. fucking ggod. oh ym fuckigngg dohwfgrrfhj imgog to fuckkgin