social life of the book

Don’t say you love me if I’m only gray to you. It’s either black or white, yes or no, up or down. There’s no ‘well maybe she’ll work’. I am a gift to you and if you do not cherish me like the queen I am, then leave and stop wasting my time. If you want to be with me, you have to work for it. I am not a prize to be won but I am the judge seeing if you are suitable and willing to deal with me. Deal with my random rambles and my soft kisses and my ugly laugh and my cute chubby tummy and my hot screams. Do not say you want me because I’m better than nothing. If anything, you need me more than I need you.
—  this isn’t my best but oh well
Red: sprinting fast away from trouble, carnivals, slushes, sunglasses, screaming, doing karaoke in a restaurant with friends
Orange: Kool aid, water balloon fights on a hot summer day, dancing barefoot in grass, April Fool’s Day
Yellow: the smell of old books and warm chocolate chip cookies, Sunday mornings, finally back at home, serenity, sleepy eyes
Green: Reading quietly to yourself, anxiety, camping, peace, glasses, freckles, finally getting the courage to do what you’ve been afraid to do
Blue: confetti cupcakes, museums, spinning, sprinkles, laughing, driving with the music loud, feeling silly
Purple: rebellion, rolling your eyes, smirks, piercings, neon lights, piggyback rides, black nail polish
Pink: milkshakes and diners, rollerblades, persistence, leadership, chewing gum, empowering, hearing meows from cats
—  synthesia helps me write sometimes

anonymous asked:

Real question. How can you support sjm and her books (I made myself read them sine everyone talks about them and they are racist af and culturally appropriative, particularly ACOMAF) while also blogging so much about POC and representation? You do you, but as a woman of color I'm real confused by that.

I’ve spoken about this a lot. I have many problems with SJM’s books. I have problems with her poc involvement specifically and her ‘cultural appropriation’. (If I can find the questions I’ve answered already on this topic, i’ll link them, but I mostly went in depth this past summer.)

As for ACOMAF, there is definitely cultural appropriation but in a loose form of the definition. “Cultural appropriation is the adoption or use of the elements of one culture by members of another culture. Cultural appropriation may be perceived as controversial or harmful, notably when the cultural property of a minority group is used by members of the dominant culture without the consent of the members of the originating culture.” - wikipedia. In my opinion, what SJM is doing is not exactly cultural appropriation. I think she took ideas of different cultures and made them into her ‘own’ world. Now, I’m not saying she didnt misuse information. I think there is loose appropriation in the books. But I don’t think we can assign it to cultural appropriation. This isnt me saying that there arent problems with the books. There most definitely is. But I think giving this a fair shake is important (and if you know me, I love being unfair and small things can make me pop off - especially when regarding race). I also think she tried to avoid that at all costs? She hinted towards the appropriation of culture in clothing, food, and setting specifically. But I feel like she really did try to dodge that fat bullet.

I dont see acotar or acomaf being racist. I see problems in it, of course, but I don’t see it as being racist in the slightest. I see people that misinterpret the book (like making Rhys and other Ilyrians white) as racism and white washing, but i dont see the book as being racist. Now, if Rhys, Cass, Amren, and Az were actually terrible characters, or shown in that light to the protagonist, then yes, I would say automatically, this is racist as fucking hell. But I dont see that. 

However, one thing that has bothered me about acomaf was specifically the treatment of the summer court. I’ve explained this before in another post which I’ll have to find. It’s not how she depicted the summer court or the people in it. In fact, I felt it was beautifully articulated. But I absolutely HATE the treatment of Tarquin. It is one of my biggest fucking pet peeves of the book. I love how she made his character, but I despise how Feyre and Rhys treated him. I am not so sure that is boiled down to race though (and again, I’m easily one to say it is. But in this instance, i’m not so sure). 

Now, I can go ALL FUCKING DAY, about Nehemia. ALL. FUCKING. DAY. Because that STILL pisses me off. I don’t care how fucking strong of a character she was, I dont care how beloved she is now, she was still a person of color that killed her fucking self to FURTHER the white characters narrative. That will forever fucking piss me off. Her AND Sorcha. (I went into an entire rant about it. I’ll have to find them though)

With all that said and done, I think an important question to keep in mind is how deep do we get into things like this? If SJM was a woman that only wrote about white characters, we would be up in arms, calling her racist, and that she hates poc. If she wrote about only poc characters, being a white woman, we would be saying that shes being culturally appropriative, that she doesnt understand, that she should stay in her lane, etc. 

SJM is a woman that is writing about people while I think, trying her best to be inclusive and diverse. Shes a fucking white woman writing about it though. i don’t expect it to be perfect. But as a white woman, no matter what she does, no matter what she writes about, shell be criticized by being either too white, or too out of her lane. Like, anything she does, she will literally be criticized for it and the only way she wouldnt be, is if she was a person of color. (I guess she gets a narrow - extremely narrow- glimpse of what we feel).

These are just my opinions. I know people wont agree. But this is why I, a mixed (black and armenian), bi, woman, who makes social/political art based around race in her daily life, read sjm books (Specifically acotar. I’ve fallen off of the ToG bandwagon. EoS didnt jazz me and I’m still fucking pissed about Nehemia after all these years). I would love for this to open up a dialogue though. You can tell me I’m wrong, that’s fine. I would love to hear other people’s opinions - especially people of color. 

Things abt Great Comet (for the new fans)

A. Anatole did not wilfully trick Natasha into falling in love with him? Like yes hes an asshole and the worst but thats because hes so goddamn self centered that he doesnt think about why what hes doing is wrong. Just like Natasha (but its forgivable in her because she is a CHILD shes late teens in this section of war and peace see more in the next column)

B. The thing to understand abt Natasha is that she is a CHILD and she has spent her whole life pampered and her every whim indulged. Its canon. She is well loved and for that she is ignorant. This comes across rly well in Denee’s Natasha, and more subtly in Pippa’s.

C. Lol pierre doesnt want to die?? Like he does but thats not. His goal. His character is deeper than that and dust and ashes is supposed to flesh that idea out. Hes drunk af in the duel scene. Hes not like ‘goddamn hope i die’. He wants purpose in life. In the book hes a social outcast early in life bc hes opinionated and awkward. He marries Helene bc he thinks its what hes supposed to do and bc hes kinda manipulated into it? Bc hes rich. She a gold digger. But at this point in the story during the book they are seperated. The duel takes place rly early in the book and helene is not present. Dolokhof is only RUMOURED to be having an affair with Helene. Helene also grows close to Boris (before he agress to marry Julie) and several other young men. OH he also joins the freemasons and he tries to make things better for the serfs (for lack of a better word) on his land but HES MAKES THINGS WORSE.

D. G***y is a slur pls dont say it out of context from the play. Like they removed use of it unless absolutely necessary for character stuff (anatole is scum, anatole says it) so pls dont say it. This for everyone.

E. Aaah ok so Mary’s suitor. Shit omg. One of her suitors in the books is Anatole and he spends his whole visit flirting with the woman hired to be Mary’s friend. She returns later as the woman Old Bolkonskyis havin some flirtations w/ (and he draws her too him)

F. Boris!! U know the one line “theres boris and julie engaged”. Boris is Natasha’s childhood love. They planned to marry when she turned 18? I think? Or 16. But the love faded. Julie Karagina flirted a bunch with Natasha’s brother Nikolai. Nikolai is the man Sonya is in love w/. They can never be together bc shes too poor and shes too nice so she puts other ppls happiness before her.

G. Andrei is kind of a fuckboi tbh like. Hes nice hes just. Waaay older than Natasha and he was kinda rude to his first wife? She died after giving birth to their kid. She was a sad little princess. He cared more abt career than anything. THEN he meets natasha and is in LOVE. But his dad is like ‘son ur being impulsive. See if she’ll wait a whole year for you’ and then throughout the year he gets rly sick and stuff and hes just not havin a good life. And guesss what. Natasha screws it up.

H. Anatoles dad does not like either of his sons. This is established in the first chapter. He likes anatole the least.

Heartbreak hits you in two stages:

Stage one is numb. You don’t want to believe that it’s happening. You distract yourself with parties and friends. You drink alcohol until you can’t remember your name and dance under street lights with boys you just met. You wake up in the morning with an earthquake in your head and a strange man in your bed. All you want is to fill this empty feeling.

Stage two is when the emotions hit you. You lay in bed for weeks, maybe even months. You cry so much that your face is naturally puffy and red now. You can’t even begin to think about going out with friends. The breakdowns begin to hit. You walk into your room and scream and cry until your voice cracks under the stress. You throw things until they break and punch walls until you are a mess of drywall and blood.

The saddest part is, does anyone really know which one is worse?

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #1 HB
I’ve always imagined Harry with a specific girl. It doesn’t matter if she is tall or short, thin or fat, sexy or cute, pale or tanned, blonde, brunette or ginger. But I’ve always wanted Harry to be in a relationship with a normal girl. My dream girl for Harry would probably be a girl with a degree is psychology, very smart, able to hold a conversation and sometimes even have an ‘argument’ with Harry and he would be amazed of how much she knows and her passion and her sarcastic comebacks and how good she is at playing with his mind, driving him insane. She would understand Harry completely and he could talk to her for hours and hours and want more of her.
On the other side that girl would be kind of a loner cuz she focuses more on her books and not her social life and Harry would introduce her to his family and friends. He would make her do stupid stuff like get drunk and dance in the rain ect ect. They would complete each other and the most important they would understand each other. I think Harry would like a girl who has her own opinions, weird and original ones, opinions that no one has and that would catch his attention and she would not be afraid to say her opinion out loud in a room with 500 people even though no one would share the same opinion as her. She would be nice and smart, but not cocky, she would be modest and that would be Harrys favourite part I believe. And they would be a pair of dorks when they were alone, fighting with pillows, running around the house, trying to bake a cake but ending up terribly. my favourite part would be the part that Harry would say proudly this is my girlfriend, while holding her hand, his eyes sparkling from love and how proud he is of her and she would blush a lot. And the way he would look at her when she is not paying attention, oh god.
Mark my words. Harry has never fallen in love so far and his relarionships have been like 3 months long, but someday he will fall in love, but he will fall hard and will not let her go cuz he would be absolutely crazy about her. Literaly.

I wake up to the sound of the morning birds chirping. I see your face snuggled next to mine. Your hair is all messy and your face squished inbetween the pillows. I can’t help but smile at the sight of you looking so pure. The sunlight shining in from the window reflects off your face and emphasizes the delicate freckles that are sprinkled throughout your face. “Morning sunshine.” I sing sarcastically as I know how much you hate waking up early, especially on Sunday mornings. But Sunday mornings are my favorite part of the week and I can’t stand them without you. “Mhhmfrrp” you snark into the fluffy pillow that has swallowed up your face. I nudge you a little more. “Cmon don’t be lazyyy.” I joke as I give your side a small kick. “Fine.” You grumble as we both hop out of bed.

The sizzling of the pancakes cooking wake me up a little more. Standing in the doorway and I get a good view of the tired sight that is you cooking breakfast. Hearing you hum the words of your favorite song gives me a sense of calmness. It lets me know that you’re okay and that you’re breathing and that you’re happy. Your happiness is all I need in this world along with your love.
I walk up quietly behind you and wrap my arms around your waist hugging you softly. The feel of your skin on mine is enough warmth to fuel a whole city. I love you.

—  The kind of Sunday morning that Maroon 5 keeps talking about
You. Y-O-U. Two vowels to some and three vowels to others. But to me it’s 2 and a half. You are extravagant. Now that’s too many vowels for me to count but let’s continue. You have two eyes, a nose, and a mouth. Most people have that but some don’t and that’s okay. You’re lucky you got the whole package. And it’s a beautiful one I must say. You have long lashes, laughing eyes, and a nose that crinkles whenever it’s happy. You have two ears and a head. Your two ears are big and you used to always be ashamed of them; hiding them whenever and however possible. But they’re nice. Your head is round but you have a jawline that helps it come to a point. It starts off nice and round but comes to a sharp stop. That stop is a little dangerous for people like me who get so lost in your beauty. You’ve got a neck and two shoulders. Your neck is like a tree stump; it leads to something even more beautiful which is your face. Your shoulders are dead giveaways about how you’re feeling. You like to tense them up if you’re worried or stressed but if you’re getting by, they sit nice and untouched. Your arms and hands are gifts. They hold me and touch me and love me. They pretend to paint a picture on my face when I sleep. They rub my cheeks and boop my nose. They love me. Your legs that dance the night away and spin around and around and around and around. They bounce, shake, jump, and slide all around. It’s a sure sign you’re happy. I love everything about you including the big and little things. I’ll miss those the most.
—  I love you from your head to your toes
  • Jesse Fisher: You know, he said the purpose of fiction was to combat loneliness.
  • Dean: That's good. I never heard that.
  • Jesse Fisher: Yeah. Well, on the other hand, spending most of your time with an 1,100-page book tends to put a dent in your social life.
  • Dean: Yeah. Loneliness simultaneously increased and decreased.
  • Liberal Arts (2012)