social inbox

Hey if you're new to tumblr I have some tips for you

•The site changes format ALL THE TIME WITH NO WARNING. BE READY.

•There’s a new meme every week and you’re just gonna have to get used to seeing it everywhere for a while.

•You are going to care more about social justice, feminism, different sexualities, and the safety of bees than you ever have in your life

•It doesn’t matter who you follow, PORN WILL FIND YOU

•If you get a message from a random person politely telling you to test out their game or visit their page at all, DELETE IT AND WALK AWAY.

•We all make fun of Superwholock fans’ inability to take a joke.

•No matter who you are or what you do, someone is going to find you or someone you know problematic (and I mean EVERYONE) don’t sweat it when it happens.

•Tumblr. LOVES. HALLOWEEN. Don’t question it.

✧ ❰  book covers that tell the whole story starters   /   pt. 1
         —  inspired by boards like this & this. feel free to switch pronouns or wording

❛ everyone cries if you poke them in the eyes. ❜
❛ open my door & come inside, but be aware that i am a haunted house. ❜
❛ i’m a terrible person, but i have a good reason. ❜ 
❛ why is that priest here? ❜ 
❛ think before you complain. ❜
❛ talk to me right, & i’ll never forget a word. ❜
❛ let’s just eat our food & go home. ❜
❛ am i one person and a mirror, or two people? ❜
❛ five more minutes to go. ❜
❛ it’s a story i never finished writing, and never wanted anyone to read. ❜
❛ i would rather kill you than ask you for help. ❜
❛ how about this: we cured the diseases & lived happily ever after. ❜
❛ the key didn’t fit the hole. ❜
❛ i was trapped in a couple of traps, reaching for a trap — ❜
❛ thanks for humoring me. ❜
❛ just when i start to like myself, i do something like this. ❜
❛ oh no! she’s pretty. ❜
❛ didn’t i throw you off a building? ❜
❛ we want a meaning where there isn’t one. ❜
❛ my hormones kicked my ass. ❜
❛ you defuse the bomb, and the clock starts over, time & time again, until you make a mistake or walk away. ❜
❛ the important thing is that what i’ve said makes sense to me. ❜
❛ you look like you walked into a wall of regret. ❜
❛ i’ve seen this before, one million times. ❜
❛ danger! he’s a stranger. ❜
❛ you can’t borrow my love. ❜
❛ i wasn’t sick until i saw the doctor. ❜
❛ everything i say is a promise. ❜
❛ wisdom? that was wisdumb. ❜
❛ time flies. too bad i’m not having any fun. ❜
❛ i’m erring on the side of love. ❜
❛ i’ve stopped trying to get what i want, but i still want it. ❜
❛ more and more, i find myself wanting more and more. ❜
❛ i know your pain. i have mistaken it for my own.❜
❛ if you do something good for someone you hate, then you have to do something bad to someone you love. ❜
❛ luck doesn’t exist, & we’re lucky it doesn’t. ❜
❛ you had nails for my coffin. ❜
❛ he jumped the gun & i shot him dead. ❜
❛ don’t pick the weeds, pick the flowers. ❜
❛ am i going to hell or what? ❜
❛ honey, you’re on fire. ❜
❛ i’m pretty on the inside, gorgeous on the outside. ❜
❛ i wasn’t smart at all. ❜
❛ just as i was dying, i was born again. ❜
❛ i don’t want to see your worries, i want to see your war eyes. ❜

anonymous asked:

I'm really sad about something I don't understand and was hoping you could explain. Why do people block without giving a reason to? I don't why it first seems like it's all going so well then the next you're blocked and you don't know why or what you did or said wrong? It's happened twice now and to say it hurts is an understatement.

Oh, my precious Kabby babies.  Circle up, it’s time for some firm but gentle life advice from Mom. 

First of all, unless I personally am the person who blocked you (which I’m obviously not since we’re having this conversation!), in a very real sense the short answer to this question is that you know I can’t actually answer this question.  You’re asking me to tell you why a person I don’t know did a thing for which I have no context, and for which there could be a thousand reasons. So in a concrete, specific sense, my answer is: I do not know.

However.

(You knew there was going to be a however.)

Social media is a deeply personal avenue for self-expression and it’s also a world where many of us spend a great deal of our time, which means that we have the full and free right to customize it into exactly what we want it to be.  The things that you post are personal reflections of you, which is  why it bums you out when someone mutes or blocks or doesn’t follow back; it feels on some level like a personal rejection.  But the space you curate is also a personal reflection of you.  You have the right to post anything you want and other people have the right to choose not to see it.  Both of those rights are equal, even though you’re only on one side so naturally the other one feels like it’s in some way “wrong.”  

I’m speaking with zero context for what your preexisting relationship with these people was beforehand (like obviously if it was a close friend and they blocked you out of nowhere, you’re going to have to sort that out with them directly, I can’t advise you there), but it’s important to remember that there may be no “right” and wrong” in this scenario.  It’s fully possible for both of these things to peacefully coexist at the same time:

1) your absolute right to feel a little bit rejected and hurt that a stranger on the internet made the choice that they didn’t want your social media sphere to overlap with their social media sphere,

and

2) that other person’s absolute right to say “if something or someone makes me feel even the tiniest bit ‘nope’ I am purging it out of this space so it is exactly what I want and need it to be.” 

They don’t need to have a reason.  That sucks, when you’re on the receiving end of it, which all of us have been - it truly and genuinely sucks - but it’s also reality.  One of the hard truths that incidents like this make us sometimes have to face - and we don’t want to face these things, because they can feel really icky and vulnerable and ping all the little gremlins in our brain  - is this:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention for anything you do or say.

This sounds mean and brutal, and I don’t mean it to be, because you know mom loves you, but it’s incredibly important, so I’m going to say it again to make sure that if nothing else, this gets through:

nobody on the internet owes you their time or attention for anything you do or say.

The celebs you stan don’t owe you a response to your tweet, just because you want one.  The people you tag in meta don’t owe you reblogging it to continue having that conversation with you forever, just because you want to prove you’re right.  The fans of the fic you write for your most popular ship don’t owe you crossing over to give you hits on your rare-pair fic if they don’t feel like it.  Nobody owes you a certain number of followers, nobody owes you a response to every anon you send them, nobody owes you finishing that fic you like in time for them to read it when they feel like reading it.  We owe each other one thing and one thing only: basic human decency.  That’s it.  Everything else is freely offered to the world, and freely taken by the people who want it.  It’s not a transactional exchange.  If you make art or write fic and you put it out there into the world, you’ve done a cool thing, and whether it gets ten hits or thousands it was still worth doing.  There will be people who aren’t interested, but if you get hung up on feeling rejected by that, it will paralyze you.

Social media is personal. That’s unavoidable.  It’s an extension of ourselves.  When someone is cruel to you or to one of your friends on the internet, even if it’s an anonymous stranger, it feels shitty.  When you express an opinion about something and a ton of people reblog it and the tags are full of “OMG YES THISSSSS”, it feels great.  We all experience that in different ways.  Society has always selected arbitrary measures for young girls and women to live up to in order to feel like they’re popular or they’re approved by the cool kids, and right now it’s things like “how many followers do you have” and “did you get an RT from a celebrity” and “how many likes on your posts”.  So on a primal level, maybe having someone you thought was a friend block you on Twitter or Tumblr hits you in the same deep core place as having the cool kids not come to your birthday party.  That feeling is super real!  It brings up alllllll that deep stuff we try to hide and pretend that we’re above experiencing, but we all have those squishy vulnerable inner selves that just need the cool kids to like us and we feel bad when they don’t.  

I had this exact conversation with my therapist a few weeks ago when she was giving me a hard time because my book has 60 reviews on Amazon, of which like the majority are 5 stars with two negative ones, and I have both the negative ones like memorized.  And she was like “CLAIRE.  WHAT THE HELL.  WHY DO YOU DO THIS?  58 POSITIVE AND YOU CANNOT QUOTE A SINGLE ONE.  TWO SHITTY ONES AND YOU KNOW THEM VERBATIM.  THAT IS NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR.”  And I was like “… . okay fine when you put it that way, yes I do sound like a crazy person.”  So like my advice to you – advice which I have just proven I am absolute garbage at taking myself, so like I may have just eroded my own credibility in my efforts to help – is to remember that you probably have a lot more than two followers so honestly this is probably not a bad collective ratio, and there may be lots of people who are very interested in what you have to say but you’ve focused a lot of your energy on these two people and it’s worth giving some thought as to why that is.

My question for you is this: what is the net negative impact of having these two people block you on social media? Like in an actual, concrete way, separate from those sort of core gut “I feel unloved in this moment” feelings, what is the effect on your life?  You might be surprised.  It might be zero.  In which case, let yourself feel those feelings, experience them as valid, and then breathe through them and move on and keep on doin’ you. 

I’m pushing back on you a little bit here very gently because it feels, reading this anon, like you’ve made a determination of hurtful intent on the part of the person who blocked you, or at the very least a certainty that this choice that made was about you and not about them.  That the fact that things seemed to be going fine and then they blocked you means you were somehow intentionally misled or mistreated.  Be really, really, really careful about deciding the cool girl didn’t come to your birthday party because she’s a bitch who wanted to make you feel terrible and is sitting somewhere cackling at the thought of your sad lil’ face waiting by the front door; maybe she didn’t come to your birthday party because she has depression and it’s hard for her to leave the house sometimes and she knew your party would be loud and wild and crazy and too much for her brain to handle right now. Be careful about presuming negative intent with no proof it exists.  The internet makes this so easy, the internet conditions us for this, and it conditions us to respond in kind. The worst thing you could do here is to, like, make a callout post or subtweet in the hopes that it will get back to them and they’ll feel bad, or to sic your other followers onto them, because that turns this into a situation that really does have a right and wrong; and since you don’t know if they were trying to make you feel shitty, or just went on a big block/mute purge to whittle their list down for mental health reasons that are totally their own, once things escalate you can’t put the horse back in the barn. It’s too late.  Now it’s A Thing, when maybe it never really needed to be A Thing.  And in almost all situations for almost all people in almost all ways, Kabby Mom’s advice is going to be, “please think carefully before you make this A Thing.”

This got long, I’ve been having a lot of thoughts lately about the conversations I’m always having with fandom folks the way we let social media permeate and shape our sense of self, in good ways and bad, so I apologize for my verbosity but also not really because that’s how things roll over in Kabby Mom’s Advice Corner.  But I will sum up in bullet points for those of you who have been skimming, to bring you up to speed:

  1. Everyone has the right to curate their own social media space however they see fit, and they don’t have to explain their reasons.
  2. They aren’t obligated to include you in that space even if you want them to.
  3. None of that is an objective measure of your worth as a person or a sign that you should stop being you on the internet.
  4. Your feelings of rejection come from a real place and you get to feel them, as long as
  5. You are striving to move through them without permitting them to paralyze you, and finally
  6. You never use someone else’s choice to curate their social media sphere as a justification for treating them like crap.

Focus on your positive interactions instead of negative ones – your friends, creating stuff and putting it out into the universe – whether it be art, fic, opinions, a podcast, gifsets, crackposts, whatever – and your social media world will be a better place.

In the immortal words of the great Michael J. Fox, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”

anonymous asked:

a) what do you think made even stand out to isak? b) what do you think made isak stand out to even?

Hmmmm. I think that might be one of those mysteries of chemistry? :D They were definitely attracted at first sight. They saw the other and they popped. They were a possibility.

I like the detail that Isak looked up when Even laughed. Something in that laugh caught his attention and then, of course, something about his face (that guy was fucking handsome by any standard, okay). He was caught already, caught on something physical but maybe also something undefinable. Even if they hadn’t met at Kosegruppa, Isak would still have been looking at him because what made him stand out had already happened. But when they did… I think what reeled him in was all the little things: how easy it was to fall into conversation with him, his laugh, his voice, the flutter in Isak’s stomach just from sitting next to him. And sometimes these gut feelings are just right because every new little thing made Isak like him more. He watched that video again and again, letting Even’s voice heat him, remembering how it felt to have that smile aimed at him.


I like to imagine the same thing happened for Even. It was the first day of school and he happened to see Isak laughing with his friends across the courtyard and the world tipped into slow motion. There was something about him that made Even’s heart pick up. After that, his eyes would find him. He was a little too aware, he’d look up and there he’d be. But what do you see of anyone when you don’t know them? Was it Isak surrounded by friends, laughing, eyes alight as he roasted Magnus someone? Maybe he saw him sullen and crabby in the morning, brows furrowed as he struggled with his locker? Maybe he caught him, eyes distant as he sat eating lunch, hearing but not listening. Maybe, being someone who likes stories, Even entertained himself with little ideas about who he could be. It made it okay to watch him, maybe, more than he should. He was rounding out a story in his head. 

What I wonder, though, is when was the tipping point? Because at some point, Even decided he had to meet this boy. At some point, he discovered his ~skill as an attempted rapper. And I look suspiciously at the floodgates it might have opened, if you heard a name, if you’d poked around one day and clicked on “isakyaki”…

He made Even smile, fucking grin to himself, how could he not? But knowing more only made him want more.

Queer History

I’ve been thinking about Queer History video topics for a million years, and I have a bunch but I don’t know where to start.

So, I need some idea of what you guys want or some suggestions I haven’t thought of. Please feel free to spam my inbox and social media.

Ideas can literally be anything having to do with LGBT+ topics, even recent ones (just not pairings, because that’s for Are They Gay).

Cuando no conocen y no saben hacerse su propio criterio , la gente está tan acostumbrada a creer más en comentarios malos, por eso no creen q son capaces de sobresalir de la mayoría… Cuando comienzan a hablar mal de ti es q vas avanzando… Acostumbrate a eso si quieres alcanzar tu éxito 😉

#clickandadvance #M4

Quieres saber como gano dinero por medio de redes sociales .manda inbox!!!!
Mañana hay un enorme evento en el Hotel #Hilton de reforma….. Quien va a estar trabajando conmigo!!

Y se vendran cosas mejores me advirtieron
Y esto sucedio 😍😍😍😍

#clickandadvance #M4
Quieren saber como gano dinero por.medio de las redes sociales !!
Manda inbox… este sabado tenemos un Gran evento en el #Hilton de reforma 😍😍

Someone asked me how I can possibly read and review so many fanfictions….well, I have a process and it’s all about staying on top of archiving completed emails.

This is what the Social tab in my inbox looks like this morning (at 10:30am). It looks like this EVERY morning and sometimes there are even MORE emails depending on you lot and how often you’re updating your fics. By 10:30am, I’ve usually archived more of them than this - but I’ve had a busy morning at work and haven’t been able to deal with many of them yet.

The emails marked read but not archived means that I’ve actually READ the chapter update and just haven’t reviewed it yet (mainly because I read it this morning on mobile while I was blow drying my hair or something or (in the case of one of the fics) I’m struggling with the exact wording of a review. It’s been plaguing me since I read the chapter yesterday and so since I’m struggling to find the words, it’ll remain in my inbox until I find them) 

If it’s not a chapter update - if the reply notification is still in my inbox it means that I’ve seen the reply to my review and will likely be replying to the reply (I don’t always reply to the reply if not feeling particularly verbose that day or if the original reply to my review was “thanks so much for reading” - I don’t generally reply to those reviews. But generally - if you reply to me, I’m more than happy to continue the conversation. See above re: verbose).

As I review, I archive immediately and then hopefully by the end of the night all the old emails are archived and the new ones are addressed too. Tuesday nights are particularly bad for me to keep on top of things because I lead a group of Young Womens at my church on Tuesday nights and that’s not really conducive to fic reading… though I DO have two girls who love Riverdale… they just prefer Archie. It breaks my heart but there it is. (their actual words were they’d “take Archie’s looks but Juggie’s personality” - to which I nearly made them get out of the car and WALK home yesterday. It was a tense drive home. lol)

I just counted - and I received 37 fandom related emails on June 6th. That included 4 from tumblr telling me “You have 8 new followers” (not sure why sometimes I get an email about one specific follower and then other times I get ones about 17 followers all at once. I have no idea how that works). 

So yes. Process. This isn’t counting when I start reading any NEW fics at Ao3. I get emails from authors I have on Subscription but every day I also go to the Betty/Jughead tag and I follow @ao3feed-jugheadxbetty to see new fics by new authors. I review and subscribe immediately if it’s a fic I know I’m gonna want to settle in and follow. 

AND then all your tumblr fics. I’ve been doing my best to convince you Bughead writers on tumblr to archive on Ao3 (mainly because I find it’s easier to bookmark and subscribe to stuff there and I know you’re all about making things convenient for ME) - but then I always do a round once a day of my favourite tumblr fic writers to see if they’ve updated anything new. Some of you are quite prolific (I’m looking at YOU @bughead4days - not that I’m complaining. Eeek. Don’t stop being prolific!) - so I gotta keep on top of it as best I can… 

All while still having a full time job, two teenagers and a tween, a hot husband who is kinda high maintenance but that whom I still like to kiss a lot, pretty hefty church responsibilities, making time to set aside moments to beta stories for author friends (only two at the moment and I love you both @raptorlily and @gellbellshead (that draft in my email is for YOU!)), attempt to write my OWN story (and deal with my own conflicting issues of inadequacy whilst being a perfectionist) not to mention time to compile my giant Bughead fic spreadsheet (that is seriously SERIOUSLY behind - like woefully behind. You would all KICK ME OUT OF THE FANDOM if you knew how far behind). 

So yeah. That’s the morning in the life of THIS fangirl. I’m out of breath even thinking about it. I should probably just go read some fic and maybe review. lol.

(and yes - I have an Adult Wednesday Addams wallpaper on both my computer at work and at home - I’m nothing if not devoted… as you probably already know. lol.)

A quien vere este sabado en el #Hilton!? Quieres saber como gano dinero por medio de las redes sociales manda inbox... Este sabado tenemos evento con mas de 1000 personas 😍😍😍😍😍😎😎😎😎😎

Applying for professional jobs like “I have practically no experience in this field, only one of the competencies, and at best a handful of applicable skills,.. but I’m a really nice person who tries really hard?”.

I haven’t been on here in a rly long time because I’ve been very busy, but I am super bored and trying to avoid my family. I’m totally cool with this tbh. (I probably won’t slide into any ones inbox because social anxiety but…)

Mixed Emotions and Flight Fears

This Game We Play: Mixed Emotions and Flight Fears

I DON’T KNOW WHAT IDEA I LIKE MORE. So let me know, yeah?

+Let me know what you think

+Have some ideas for the next chapter? Leave them here!

*Submit box*

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

You tried calming your stomach and your pounding headache by thinking about all your decisions in life that would have led you onto this plane, heading to your spur of the moment decision.

And in reality you only had one person to blame. Not you. Phil.

The conversation replayed itself over and over in your mind.


“Yes, because London weather is perfect.”

“Point taken. But just think about it! Please?”

“Nope.”

“Come on, Y/N! Live a little!”

“Excuse you! I do live.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“It’s true!”

“Name one time you did something completely daring.”

You wracked your brain to think of something. Anything. But after a few seconds of self-realization you sighed. You were boring. 

“I’ll take your sigh of defeat as a sign that I’m right?”

“Shove it, Phil.”

“Well, now that we’ve stated the obvious, how about you rethink my offer? Please! It’ll be great, and trust me, London is amazing!”

“You say that now just because you want me to accept.”

“…and?”


And after that unfortunate phone call with a certain persistent, blue-eyed man, you came into possession of a one-way ticket to London and was on said plane. Great. You’d love to blame Phil, but the fact of the matter is that this was slightly your fault for not being interesting enough. 

Truth be told, you have been meaning to come visit, it’s just you planned to actually come back.

You were incredibly excited to see Phil; you hadn’t seen him in person for a year now, save for Skype calls. But there was one face you weren’t the least bit excited to see that would undoubtedly be there. Dan. Just thinking about him immediately put you into a foul mood.  Sure, in his videos and to others, he seems like an all-around good guy, but when it came to you it seemed that the last bit of being amiable and charming was squeezed out of him and he reverted to being the same unresponsive jerk you knew.

Unfortunately, not only your fans but it seemed like the entirety of the internet shipped you two. Why? You had absolutely no clue. The only times you would be seen together was always in the company of another person.. You’re sure you’ve been in countless vlogs with one another, but you were both always engaged with other people. Never with each other.

The questions that always flooded your every social media inbox and twitter mentions seemed to be repetitive. 

How’s Dan?

How in the bloody hell were you supposed to know? The last you saw him, let alone spoke, was at your going away party last year in London. And trust me, after a supposedly ‘accidental’ spill of punch onto your dress, you nearly drowned him in the punch bowl.

You and Dan are so cute together!

Yeah, totally! Except the fact that you two aren’t together. Really, the only thing you two had somewhat going was the fact that you could barely stand in a room together without chaos ensuing. And even that was rare.

OMG, collab with Dan. Please?

No.

Shutting your eyes angrily, you continued listening to your calming playlist, until the announcement was made that you were about to land.

You took your time exiting the plane, assuming that Phil was already waiting for you. Although, after a few minutes of standing by yourself, nervously shifting from foot to foot, you began to think that he had forgotten you. Now what? You thought, you’re in the middle of an airport terminal having no idea where to go.

Just as you were in the middle of an internal struggle of getting a plane ticket home and walking around aimlessly until you found someone familiar, you head a voice, “Y/N! There you are!”

Whipping your head around, relieved, you were greeted by a pair of blue eyes. Rushing over, you immediately pulled him into a hug, “thank God you found me.” You laughed, “I was beginning to contemplate cannibalism for my next meal.” You joked, earning his laugh.

“Well, I’m glad it didn’t get to that point.” He teased, grabbing one of your bags. He suddenly straightened up and began looking around as if searching for someone, “lose something?” You asked, looking around curiously.

“Yeah. Dan was just-”

He was cut off when a hand clasped onto his shoulder, “there you are. I thought I lost you.” 

As soon as you heard him your face twisted into an immediate scowl. Perfect. You thought Phil was the one that had come to get you. Turned out he brought along an unwanted partner. 

Dan turned around slowly, a frown taking place of a smile that was once there. 

“Y/N.”

“Dan.” 

Li'l Thinks: Ritual – by Kate Carraway

Illustration by Penelope Gazin

It’s the space between things that’s truly important. That’s what committed self-actualizers will tell you; so will graphic designers insisting on negative space, and stylists who are all like, “Less, less, less, less…” pulling off bracelets and pants. It’s never the thing itself, but the stuff—the lack of stuff—around the thing. Falling asleep, I often find a convincing, semiconscious simulacrum of cozy peace by imagining a nonscientific, crayon-drawn version of a light field, and then focusing tighter and tighter on the black empty places in between the things. That is what’s important, right there.

By now, as mid- or late winter or whatever it is approaches, still months until fireworks holidays, and until some liquid-jasmine physical atmosphere makes us more able to be with our bodies, and with each other (hugs through piles of down aren’t the same), the allotment of collective ritual opportunity has mostly been spent. Ritual is always limited for us, a casualty of everything else that happened, for the young and secular and very much online who occupy so much of our time creating new versions of good and fulfilling lives. Ritual, like real, physical, people-and-concrete communities, can’t be counted among the experiential, cultural things that have been (equitably or not) replaced by some aspect of technology. A human need that is, I think, as in us as it ever was, the practice of welcoming, organizing, confirming ritual has been forced to wait it out under a ten-foot wave until we decide how far we can (or, will) go with our inboxes and social-media posts as extensions and expressions of not just ourselves, but also the solemn end—the waaay end of our feelings. That undefined space around and between the “things” is more important, yeah, but those things, the markers and parameters that define both types of spaces, are there for a reason.

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