sobs i miss them so much


Ally.“ Peeta says the words slowly, tasting it. 

"Friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally”

 I’ll add it to the list of words I use to try to figure you out.

The problem is, I can’t tell what’s real anymore, and what’s made up.

Owari no Seraph Chapter 56 TRANSLATED

Part One: Read Here! 

Part Two: Read Here!

Part Three: Read Here!

Part Four: Read Here!

Part Five: Read Here!

Translations by: @panadabro (( Thank you for bearing with me LOL ))

Editing by: @lestkarrkingofeurope (( I’M SORRY FOR MISSING LAST MONTH AAAAAAA ))

(( Okay okay I was really worried I was going to miss this month again bc I was on a three day tour trip on the weekends, BUT HEY NO I’M HERE AND I MADE IT LOLOLOL - also onto more pressing matters, I sincerely hope Kagami doesn’t pull what I think he’s gonna pull with Shinoa and Yuu bc God forbid this fandom was chaotic and toxic enough when the series first started out with the godddamn MikaYuu and YuuNoa ship wars. Don’t start it up again, please, for the sake of all that is holy. ))



Okay but talking about the chapter…again there’s not really much I think of it because I wanna see more of the vampires so…

BUT I honestly love Aoi and Kureto and their relationship /SOBS LOUDLY AT THEM 

Also I want to guess that either Tenri IS the First Progenitor reincarnated over and over OR his weapon is the first progenitor - I DUNNO BOTH CAN BE WRONG BUT I JUST KNOW THAT TENRI HAS /SOMETHING/ TO DO WITH THE FIRST PROGENITOR AND OH BOI AM I READY FOR THIS AAAAAAA

Also off topic sort of, in earlier chapter when Crowley was peering into one of the tanks, and Yuu was asking him if it was someone he knew, most considered that it was the boy back from Crowley’s human years that was always by his side [Jose was it? idk LOL] but like…OKAY JUST HEAR ME OUT! What if…WHAT IF instead of the boy…it was either Horn and Chess? I MEAN OKAY THAT SEEMS MORE FAR-FETCHED THAN THE BOY BUT JUST THINK ABOUT IT?? WE HAVEN’T SEEN THOSE TWO IN A WHILE SO ??? I DUNNO MAN I’M JUST SAYING W H A T I F TH O U GH ???

Alright I think I’ve rambled enough honestly lololol please enjoy reading the chapter and I WANT TO SEE MORE OF LEST KARR PLEASE THANK YOU KAGAMI.

the fate of the furious thoughts *spoilers*

-Fuck okay so I saw the movie last night and fuck i didn’t think i’d be hype but it felt so right watching it!!!
-this is definitely scattered and poorly articulated compared to my review of ff7 but ill write a proper one in due time. I fucking miss paul
-ive seen every fuckin movie of this franchise in theaters n im only 23 ah these are my thoughts as i was watching it. I was lowkey keeping notes lmao
-beautiful setting and colors wow as always!!!
-FUCK as if charlize therons character wasnt annoying enough the fuckin bitch had to have dreads!!! Deadass bye
-GEEKED at roman coming in at 11 for most wanted criminals
-Roman lmfao he literally cracks me up so fucking much i love tyrese
-the Rock as a soccer daddy ifucking love it his daughter is so cute ugh
-DECKARD SHAW IS SUCH A DADDY oh my i love jason statham and his banter w the rock lmao
-digging all the gratuitous fight scenes and humor and explosions
-what are you gonna Email her? Lmfao roman is too much hahahah
-calling roman Slick lmao
-hobbs and shaw are both daddies fuck they can get it
-scott Eastwood FUCK ME UP i love how theyre giving him so much shit ahaha hes so fine though gotdamn
-The kisss!!! Fuck this dumb ass hacker Bitch
With ugly dreads
-Brian would know what to do… OMG SHOOK im crying i miss paul walker so much my mans
-omfg hes a fucking dad. Papa!!! HE HAS A KID W ELENA IM SHOOK AGAIN
-middle name marcos first name is for his father to name him!!! Bitch!! 😭😭I bet he calls the bb brian!! Just cus thats how dom and vin both would be. I’m crying
-god lmao hobbs’ Fuckin names for shaw and his damn one liners i can’t… callin him princess LOL
-themost recent movies have so much more comedic elements and honestly i live for it my theater was crackin up constantly in between all that anxiety if whats happening next!!!
-shaw in suits fuck me up statham is so fine
-ugh in ny!!! The music is always so lit!!! THE TOYSHOP DAYUM!!! Those sexy cars and sexy ass scott eastwood fuck
-are you Blanta? Lmao roman and that fuckin neon orange lambo
-oo shit doms got a plan yas!!! Helen mirren omfg!!! British woman so I assume this is mama shaw
-ok this banter now is just straight up Flirting between shaw and hobbs like theyd be so good together lmao
-ugh this Destruction i cant… imagine if that shit was real so many ppl would be dead god
-ugh charlize is a little cunt
-gotta admit tho putting those cars jn Auto drive was pretty freaking dope but crazy and the pileup. Shits wild if that could happen irl we’re fucked
-did i mention Eastwood is fucking sexy
-Lil nobody lost his lil mind hahaha
-Why didnt they just crash into him fuckkkk like instead of just tugging on his car from dif directions like ya dont hurt him but still
-baby callin dom dada im cryjbg holy fuck this mf just shot mama OMG RIP ELENA IM PIST
-god charlize tryig to psycho analyze shit and just constantly spewing bs makes me wanna hjr her
-Tej n roman babter is my fav
-ah eastwood baby is on board fuck me. All Bets r off–Hahaha the fuckin orange car
-Roman" this aint for me man" hahaha he’s so fuckin funny they really made his character a bitchass i love it
-2 hacker bitches up against eachother lmao ramsey is gorge
-roman Reading russian HAGAHA such a goof
-LETTYs SUCH A BAD BITCH sent that fucker right into those blades.
-Spinning in his lambo on ice and everyone just fucking with him hahaha
-WHAT IS GOIN ONHAHAHA as hes sliding with the fuckin door
-FIGHTing W BB OMFG DADDY YES, “its gonna be a lot of fun” i love him so much take me
-Ur not gna wanna see this… *sniffs* is that u or him? HAHAHA i love him
-hobbs to roman: Yr u always yelli g hahaha this shit is so funny while even in the middle of action scenes
-Thats my girl!! Letty made it… ugh dom im just
-U lost the minute u interrupted honeymoon fuck ya bitch dont mess w familia
-“This is for my son” FUCK yasss
-The cars protecting dom im crying more
-Told u this would b fun hgh DADDY shaw pls
-gotta get MY YUNG SELFIE LEVELS up I CANT Hahaha fucking roman
-ELENA UGH im sad
-INTRODUCing letty to the baby im dead
-I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH I WILL BE 80 and still watching these movies as long as they keep putting them out omfg i just love them all i miss paul walker and brian and jordana brewster but this was a really good addition it did not disappoint even tho i hate the title lmao
-i appreciate u if u read this whole thing lets b friends


∟ “I could simply change you, make you follow me. But that’s not my way. I want you to see exactly what the gods have in store for you. Because when you do, you won’t have the faintest idea what to do with yourself. And I do.


you boys♡ (≧∇≦)


FEMSLASH BOOK CHALLENGE:  a trope you love ➝ far from you by tess sharpe

I give him the only thing I can: the cold, hard truth. The one that’ll rewrite every memory he has - of him and me, her and me, the two of them, all three of us: “It’ll always be Mina.”

tear-stained | jughead jones

Request: “Please do an imagine where you find out that Juggie lives under the stairs at school???? <333 tysm!!”

Pairings: JugheadxReader

Warnings: sad :(((((

Word count: 1498

Authors note: Tysm for the request, also please send more requests! Ef x


Writing prompts


Originally posted by iaminlovewithfood

Y/N heard the noise before her eyes adjusted to the dark shadows of Riverdale High in the early morning. Quiet, small sniffling. So silent you’d have to strain your ear to catch the whisper of that heart-wrenching noise. 

Who would be here so early? she wondered, swivelling her head in that direction, seeing nothing but speckles of dust floating through the pale, sunlit corridors. 

Her heart pounded as she walked the faintly lit hallways, pausing at every groan and creak of the old building. 

The school is ancient, after all, she silently reassured herself. It’s nothing more than the barely functioning heaters. 

She stopped dead in her tracks as the undeniable noise of a door creaking sounded to her right, making her jump. No, keep going. Breathe. Y/N took a shaky breath, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of here. Her student council meeting didn’t start for another twenty minutes, after all. 

She glanced back at the school entrance, which seemed so far away with the flickering exit sign, then back at the corridor which the noise had been coming from. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she soon found herself in the darkest corner of the school, a small wooden door hidden under the stairs in front of her. 

The sniffles had subsided, but Y/N heard the occasional, uneven breath through the thin wooden door. They sounded quite familiar, now that she came to think about it. 

Slowly, carefully, she creaked the door opened, and peeked inside with wide, curious eyes. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness, and when they did, they stung with heartbroken tears. The image in front of her was the saddest, most heart-wrenching thing she’d ever seen, and she almost wished she could unsee it if not for her overload of mixed emotions.

It was her best friend, Jughead Jones, or the boy who used to be her best friend. He had drifted from her particularly the last couple years, distancing himself whenever she asked if he was okay. Now, he sat on a small, ratty mattress, his head buried in his hands and his shoulders shaking in silent sobs. He looked so small and vulnerable that Y/N craved to just go and wrap her arms around him like the old times.

A small sniffle of her own slipped out at the helpless sight of him, and Jughead abruptly shot up. His ocean blue eyes, which never failed to stun her, were wide and alert, searching the small room for the source of sound. They landed on Y/N’s guilty, anxious expression, and his face crumpled for a second before he regained his usual, composed posture.

“You need to go,” he started, speed walking towards her and shoving her out the door with unexpected strength, trying to close it behind her. “You can’t be in here." 

"Jughead, wait!” Y/N caught the door handle just before it clicked, pushing with all her weight to keep it open. She had to make her point, fast. “Please stop shutting me out! I’m here for you, I want to be here for you!” A sob leaked into her voice, and in the moment she used to take a deep breath, Jughead had slammed the door fully shut and locked it. 

Y/N sank down to the floor, hot tears streaming down her face. “Please let me in,” she whispered against the door, her palms pressed on the cold, wooden surface. “Please, Juggie." 

After what seemed like an eternity, Y/N heard a small click, and she scrambled to her feet as the door opened. Jughead stood with crossed arms, staring at her with an intense, unrecognisable expression. He bit his lip, studying her, and Y/N properly took in her best friend for the first time in several years. 

His dark locks peeked out under his grey beanie, matching the dark circles under his tired eyes. His jaw was sharp and set, a frown so often settled over his face that he had almost lost the young, boyish look he possessed in his earlier years. Almost. Y/N was sure that if Jughead smiled, his deep dimples would take over and give him that quirky grin that she used to spend all day gazing at. He was tall and lean, though he had well defined muscles under all the jackets he usually threw over. 

He was attractive, for sure, his quiet and mysterious demeanour drawing in curiosity. If he put a little more effort into the way he dressed and looked after himself better, he would be a charismatic boy for sure, irresistible to anyone who crossed his path. 

Jughead cleared his throat quietly, and Y/N’s gaze darted up to his face, reddening for thinking something at a time like this. He turned to reenter into the small room, ducking his head at the low ceiling, and this time, Y/N followed after him, taking in the sight. 

A half eaten strawberry poptart. Jughead’s leather schoolbag. A few torn books. A pair of black headphones. Several other belongings were scattered in the small area, and some that Y/N recognised, like the photo candids of Jellybean Jones, Jughead’s beloved little sister, and others that she had never seen in her life. 

Y/N looked back to where Jughead was sitting on his bed, his gaze fixed on the wall of photos, a faraway look in his eyes. He didn’t move as she took a seat next to him, her eyes fixed on his solemn face. His nostalgic expression made Y/N’s heart ache for him. The boy deserved so much better. 

“Jug?” Y/N whispered, carefully searching the boy’s face for emotion. 

Without warning, his face crumpled again and his shoulders shook with sobs. 

The boy had finally broke, Y/N thought, hurrying over and wrapping her arms around him, hugging him so close that her face was practically on his neck, inhaling the faint smell of soap. 

“I miss her so much,” Jughead whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head as if that would block out the memory. “Jellybean. And my mother. I keep thinking about the last time I saw them, and how much I want to see them again." 

"Juggie, I know. It’s gonna be okay,” Y/N sighed, letting the comfort of him being so close settle over her. “You have your dad.”

“My dad doesn’t do shit!" 


He pushed her away roughly. "He’s the reason why mom took Jellybean and left. The reason why I’m living here. His alcoholic and financial problems have destroyed him!" 

Jughead’s words hung in the air above them, sinking the momentary lightness like an anchor. After what seemed like an eternity, Y/N found her voice again. 

"Jug, I-I don’t know what to say, that’s horrible. Just know that I care for you, and I’ll always be here for you,” she whispered, tearing staining her vision. I’ve loved you, and I always will, she added in her head. 

That’s when she noticed how intensely Jughead was staring at her, as if he could almost read her thoughts. His piercing blue eyes sent a shiver down her spine, and a lightheaded sensation filled her as they flickered down to her lips. 

Mesmerized, Y/N watched as those incredible eyes drew closer and closer, mimicking the action on her own as they fluttered shut, letting herself seep into the comfort of what was about to come next. With a shiver down her spine, his lips met hers with impossible gentleness, a soft, warm tingle. Her hands found their way to his messy, black curls, and his hand rested lightly on her cheek as he worked magic on her lips. 

It was a perfect moment locked in time. In all that was dysfunctional and ambiguous in the small town of Riverdale, there was one thing that was clear as day. That Y/N and Jughead are to be continued…

“Better?” she whispered, leaning close and resting her head gently on his chest.

“Better,” he echoed back softly.

You Have Invented a New Kind of Stupid

Part Two

Pairing: Lin x Reader SAD ANGST
Warnings: Cheating, lots of crying, not eating, angst, swears. 
Word count: 3118
A/N: I KNOW LIN WOULD NEVER DO THIS I’M SORRY I JUST GOT SO INTO IT. This was a request! “Anon asked: 2. “You can hate me, you can dislike me but how can you cheat on me?” This with literally anyone fuck up my emotions pls” ANON I HOPE THIS FUCKS UP YOUR EMOTIONS ENOUGH I’M SORRY ALSO I MIGHT DO A PART TWO TELL ME IF YOU ALL WOULD WANT THAT

It wasn’t the late hours that had worried you.

Lin was busy. You had accepted that early into your relationship with him. He was always busy.

When he had begun to text you telling you that he was spending the night at the theater, you began to worry. You confronted him about it, telling him only that you were worried that he was spending too much time at the theater, never accusing him of cheating, despite the fear that riddled your head, swearing that he was.

In response, he promised you that it was only because with the rising popularity of Hamilton, the show demanded his full attention, so he had been spending nights at the theater with the sole purpose of bettering the show. To which you only nodded, smiling as a voice in the back of your head reminded you that Hamilton had been at Richer Rogers for over three months. The script was done, the choreography was done, the music was done. There shouldn’t have been anything to work on.

You tried to push it out of your head, trying to disregard all the hours Lin was not spending away from you, either at the theater or cooped up in his office.

“Hey,” you whispered, pushing the half-closed door of his office open, seeing him, his eyes heavy with exhaustion, a grey tint evident in his skin.

Keep reading

she loves you // Brad Simpson

words: 1728
Brad Simpson x reader
The vamps

I walk into the arena and immediately hear my boyfriend’s amazing voice and grin, I hadn’t seen him for 3 months as he’s been touring and I really missed him. Tonight all the mums and sisters were visiting, with the addition of me, the boys are playing at the jingle bell ball. The boys don’t know. I show all the guards my passes and walk to their dressing room, when I enter I see all the mums and sisters already there, realising i’m the last I make quick work on shuffling over to the mirror to make some finishing touches on my makeup. I even forget to greet everyone and they all start making jokes. 

“hey there misses” Brads mum jokes popping her head on my shoulder and wrapping her arms around me. I sigh and turn around hugging her. 
“sorry I just want to look nice” I laugh and give everybody else hugs. 
“you look beautiful as always, he’s might even cry” Natalie snorts. I blush and start talking to Sophie and Millie. It eventually becomes time to go out, right as they’re singing all night, I was going to go out in the middle of their set. 

I feel nervous as I stand ready to go out. I feel a hand rubbing against my back and look up to Brads mum. 
“you excited honey?” 
“nervous” I admit. 
“he loves you a lot. Remember that” she winks then walks away to get a better view of the stage. I don’t have time to process her words before I’m being ushered out. They have just finished the song as I make my up the steps and start walking down the runway. Brad is facing away from me hugging the boys when Tris smirks and points to me. He turns around confused and his hand falls over his mouth when he sees me. He takes off his guitar and blinding hands it to James. He starts walking down the runway and I quicken my steps. We meet in the middle and he hugs me, not wanting to much PDA in front of the entire arena. His body starts shaking against mine and I realise he’s crying, which triggers my own. 

“i’ve missed you, so…much” he whispers. 
“I’ve missed you too, I couldn’t spend another second without you” I sob. He rubs my back then pulls away. When we look at each other we just start laughing and wipe away each others tears, then he grabs my hand and we make our way to the front of the stage where I’m greeted with hugs from the other boys. As I’m busy hugging them, James speaks through the mic. 

“well this was certainly a surprise, a really nice one. While we have everyone here I think Brad has a few words to say.” he grins evilly at Brad who’s eyes widen and he shakes his head but Connor pushes him forward, towards me. I furrow my eyebrows but gasp when Brad huffs then reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a ring and drips to his knee. The fans are screaming at the top of their lungs now. 

“I didn’t know I was going to have to do this so soon, I only had the ring with me to remind me of you but since we’re both here, will you marry me? I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” he says into a mic. Tristan holds one out in front of me to catch my reaction. 
“yes! oh my goodness yes of course I will” I yell and fall onto my knees in front of Brad. Brad grins and slips the ring on my finger, then jumps to his feet, picking me up and spinning me around. When he puts me down were immediately engulfed in a group hug with the boys. The boys had finished their performance now so Brad picks me up bridal style and starts walking down the runway, we hear music start to play and turn around to see everyone who was performing here, all mic’d up. They start sing she loves you by the beatles and we laugh. I hide my face in Brads neck and he sets me down on the floor again. He grabs my hand and fist bumps the air with the other. I giggle and tug on his hand, the other boys aren’t far behind us now, following us off the stage. The crowds scream are ear piercing now. 

We finally get away from the stage and make our way to their dressing room. When we get there all the mums, sisters and team start shouting, letting off poppers and bottles of champagne. Brads smile is so wide as he pulls my into him my by waist and plants and huge kiss on my lips. He pulls away and lifts me up, holding me by my hips and spins me around in the air, I squeal and hold onto his biceps that flex under my touch and I make a mental note to fangirl about it later. He sets me down slightly and I wrap my legs around his waist, holding his face in my hands. 
“I love you, so much” I cry. 
“I love you too baby” he mumbles bringing his lips back to mine again, we had almost completely forgot about everyone in the room and also failed to notice the multiple cameras/phones aimed in our direction. 
“hey don’t hog her, she’s my daughter in law now” Brads mum taunts. I set my feet down and she gives Brad a big hug then moves onto me. 

“oh honey, what did I tell you” she winks. 
“you knew he wanted to do that!?” I exclaim hitting her arm. 
“yes, well not tonight but he called me a few weeks ago asking me how I felt about it and stuff, he even asked your dad for permission.” she giggles. 
“why do you think your ring is so nice, I helped him pick it out” Natalie interrupts giving me a hug too. I snort. 
“If it was up to Brad we’d get married in a back yard” I joke and he comes over wrapping his arms around my waist. 
“hey that’s no fair” he pouts and I lean back to peck his pouted lips. He grins afterward and we see a flash. Our heads snap in the direction of Tristan who is smirking. 

“what, it was cute and very good for twitter” he shrugs. I look around and everyone and start to feel a little claustrophobic, the room is filled with people, all talking loudly to each other or congratulating us. I pry Brad’s arms away from my body and stumble out of the door, dragging Connor with me. He’s practically my best friend. He makes a gesture for nobody to follow. We round a secluded corner and I slide down the wall. Connor does to and pulls me into his lap. He starts stroking through my hair as I lean into him letting my tears soak his shirt. My breathing starts to slow down and I sigh, recovering from my panic attack. 

“Con, I’m so happy I really am” I sigh. He chuckles and I feel his chest rumble underneath me. 
“why are you crying then?” 
“I don’t know. What if this changes everything? What if we can’t handle it and break up or worse we get married to ultimately end in a divorce. The fans already hate me, they think I’m with Brad for publicity but I’m not. I love him so much Con, you know the kind of love where you can’t breathe until you’re with them again. I just don’t want him to be disappointed with me or settle for me when he can do so much better.” I ramble and I hear Connor sigh. 
“Babe, look Brad loves you more than anything in this world, well maybe a tiny bit less than Jesse” he jokes and grins when I giggle. “He was so nervous about doing this, he had it all planned, he was going to come home and take you out to dinner. He’ll kill us later for springing it on him. Everybody important and true fans know you and Brad are in love, you’d be a fool not to see it, so don’t worry about the 14-year-old fangirls who think they’re going to marry him someday… You are amazing, we love you and Brad loves you. He literally does not stop talking about you ‘I miss y/n’ ‘2 more weeks until I see y/n’…” he reasons and I let out a breath. 

“He’s right” we hear and look up to Brad. He awkwardly shuffles forward and grabs my hand pulling me up then offering is hand to Connor, they hug and exchange a few quiet words. When Brad turns back to me he looks distraught. 
“do you want to get married? for real?” he asks. 
“of course I do, why?” 
“I just thought you may have been under pressure with so many people and you regretted it.” I gasp and wrap my arms around his waist laying my head on his chest. 
“no, I’m sorry I made you feel that way, I just, well I guess you heard us…” I mutter. 
“yeah, and he’s right. Every word. I could live with every person on the earth hating me if it meant I could be with you.” he mumbles and I lean my head up. 
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you Bradley” I grin, especially as I feel him shiver from the use of his full name, I only used it in serious situations or in the bedroom occasionally. 

“come on, lets get out of here” he smiles. 
“yeah, show me how much you love me” I mutter and turn around to leave but gasp when he smacks my butt. We make it back to the room and everyone is smirking at us. I cough before speaking. 
“uhm we’re gonna leave, head to the hotel. Thank you all, we really appreciate it” I say. 
“see you guys tomorrow” Brad chirps. 
“have fun” Natalie calls out to us and we blush, as everyone else laughs loudly. We leave hand in hand, after a bit of a struggle into the car, we get in and drive off to the hotel. 

I have to gush real quick to my Richonne fam because Michonne has me in my feelings. Honestly she always has me in my feelings but I digress.

It just feels so heavy but in a positive way that Michonne has become an icon. Not just a biased opinion, that’s a fact. Michonne represents something almost unprecedented in a way. What dark-skinned black female character not only has amazing character development and screentime, not only has a love interest that’s the white male lead (a move not a lot of writers would commit to) but also has dolls/action figures, t-shirts, posters, a video game, etc.? I mean I have a damn Michonne piggy bank! I’ll never forget when I went looking for a Michonne Funko Pop doll and only found Rick and Daryl. I thought the store just didn’t sell her until a store associate told me she sold out. Just grasp the implications of that.

I’ve been a fan of TWD since episode 1 but I didn’t become a fangirl until that imposing shot of her silhouette standing above Andrea. Never had I went looking for TWD spoilers until then.

Michonne doesn’t have to be everyone’s fav nor do I expect her to be. And as much as it’s a disappointment sometimes, it shouldn’t be expected that everyone should fully understand how amazing a character she is. But for people not to grasp WHY she’s so highly regarded and to continuously downplay her importance, they’re missing something major whether it’s intentional or unintentional.

But anyways, Michonne is life and Danai is my future ex-wife and I’m gonna go now so I can sob about them some more.

12:01am. march 16, 2017. 

it is officially 2 years since I first heard twenty one pilots, since I first saw fairly local on my dash and made one of the best decisions of my life: to hit play. 

I’ve been struggling, I won’t lie about that. I wish I could say I’m getting better instead of worse. I wish I was happy, I wish I took care of my body more often, I wish I appreciated more of the little things, I wish I didn’t still spend most nights awake and emptily staring at the walls at 4am.

but I guess the important thing is, I’m still here. And I have the boys to thank for that, I have tyler and josh, even if they don’t know who I am. I owe them my life. I owe them for surviving countless nights spent in torment, now wondering “what if?”. what if I didn’t have their music? what if I didn’t have the wonderful people I met through this band to talk to? what if I didn’t have them to channel my thoughts into? what if..? would I still be here? that’s the question. am I happy about that? about still being here, fighting? maybe I will be one day. but for now I can take one day at a time and enjoy the few beautiful things this world has to offer, in between the heavy darkness. and I have tyler to thank for this, I have josh, michael, mark, brad, chris, nick, jenna, and so many others to thank. and I will never take that for granted. I will forever remember the times I’ve seen them live, when I realized they are real. I’m not alone. they exist. I’m sobbing thinking about it now, I miss being close to their radiating positivity, warm as the sun. so, once again, I put as much emotion into these two words as I can muster: thank you. 

and you know what frens? stay alive. whatever your past, “know this: you can start over, each morning.” and that’s a beautiful thing.

p.s. happy birthday fairly local, the song that started not only the blurryface era but also this stage of my life. it’s great sharing this date with you.


Unplanned Parenthood

* Lafayette × Reader

* Modern

* 59: He’s missing, not dead.

* 97: I don’t want to have a baby.

* Requested by anonymous

* Request: I was wondering if you could do one where the reader finds out shoes pregnant (97) and the father is missing (59) so the other hamilsquad members have to help her through it. The ending and what hamilsquad member to have go missing are up to you.

A/N: THERE WILL BE A PART 2! Ok, so I was working on this and I had like 5,000 words already and it wasn’t even finished. I decided I’d split it into two parts. Hopefully I’ll finish part 2 tomorrow, but I make no promises. But enjoy Part 1!

Word Count: 2,505


“I’m gonna miss you.” You mumbled as you cuddled up to Lafayette. He was set to head back to France for a few weeks. So here you laid, with your head on his chest the night before he left.

“I’ll miss you too mon cheri.” He said in a hushed whisper. His arm was wrapped around you and his fingers were tracing random lines in your back, soothing you and pulling you to sleep. He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “But I will be home in a few weeks.” He reassured you.

You snuggled a bit closer. “You better.” You warned.

Lafayette had an early flight. Horribly early in your opinion. You held him as he waited for his cab to take him to the airport. He gave you a long kiss when the cab pulled up. “I’ll be back soon mon amour.” Another kiss and he was gone.

You moped around for a bit. You retrieved one of Lafayette’s jackets from your closet and put it on for some small comfort. You poured yourself some cereal but more so pushed it around with a spoon rather than eat it. You still had some when another roommate, John, trudged out from his room an hour later.

He paused when he saw you. He squinted slightly in confusion. “Laf already gone?” He asked, to which you nodded. “Oh hey, can I suggest something?”

Keep reading

mlledefer  asked:

So, for a happy HC After his death, Ardyn is finally able to reconcile with his family and get a big hug from his daughter:"We miss you, dada" This is probably never gonna happen, but it's nice to dream something happy once in a while

Oh dear you’ve gone and opened up a fucking crate of head canon feels here I go… Because I had a similar thought before.

A few quick disclaimers before I continue… First, I’m writing and drawing this within the context of my own head canon (because what else would I do?) so it’s up to your to swap things out for your own or…. you know… disregard all of it and tell me to go fuck myself. Heheheh…
Second, a little background music always helps, and I came up with all of this while listening to the ending theme of FFVIII. It’s so perfect…. ah god I love this song.
THIRD.. This post will give a little more insight to what I have here.


Ardyn woke up gasping as if he’d not felt breath in ages. He had died, he knew. He had done it. But he was awake. He was… strangely conscious. Not again, he thought. I beat this… I can’t be…

His vision focused and he suddenly realized his surroundings. He knew this place, though it was a sore sight for the glory it once held. Around him were the scorched remains of his bedroom in his marital home. Izunia had burned it along with everything else tied to his legacy. He was on his old bed, a place he’d known numerous pleasures. Not just where he made love to his wife and others, but where his two children were born. Where countless mornings were spent wrapped in another’s embrace, wasting the day away. Where he slept, warm and safe. The silk sheets were now damp and moldy, or at least what little remained of them. Once brightened by vibrant color, the walls and decor were gray and decayed. Ardyn looked towards the windows but could only see a thick fog. It was as if there was nothing out there.

Slowly, he sat up from the bed and placed his feet on the ground. He spent a moment trying to understand whatever could be happening, but there was no answer. Looking upon this place was too much. He felt like destroying all of it, but at the same time, could never bring himself to actually do it. Before he could think too much about it, however, he heard something. A child? Laughing? He jolted to face the door and through it he swore he saw a young blonde girl rush by. Standing, he called “Who’s there?” No response. Cautiously, he crept into the hallway, seeking the figure he’d just seen but finding nothing but more ruined remnants of his once peaceful life. The staircase just a ways off, and he could hear more giggling below. He made his way.

The first thing he saw was his old piano. He’d play for his family and guests, whatever song they enjoyed most. He taught his son, Aiolus, to play and had just begun teaching his small daughter, Galena, to play as well. At least before everything had gone terribly wrong. Just behind the piano were the doors to the back yard, where he and his wife, Florentia, hosted numerous parties. How many times had he gotten so drunk and sang gibberish at the top of his lungs? Gods, there was no telling. Ardyn swore he could hear a joyous crowd out there at this moment. And yet, the area was shrouded and lifeless. 

He continued to make his way, now coming to the dining room. There used to be many more chairs around the table, but only two were left, and sitting on them would prove hazardous. Against the wall was an old chest of drawers where they kept pretty much nothing useful. Ardyn slid his hand against the wood. It was rough and dusty. But as he touched it, he could hear voices echoing through his mind. Playful children, laughing, and jovial conversation with wine. A grimace grew upon his face. What kind of sick joke was this?

The last thing he’d expected was any sort of afterlife, but Bahamut saw fit to torment him further with an eternity alone in the shattered remains of his home? “So…” he whispered to himself, “You cannot get enough of my anguish? Well played…” He did have to hand it to the astrals. This was far worse than living in darkness in a mortal plane for so many centuries.

But there it was again. The innocent giggling of a child. Ardyn turned sharply in its direction, towards the foyer, and this time caught a decent glimpse of his guest. A young girl, with long blonde hair and straight bangs, wearing a white dress. She was smiling so warmly at him, and suddenly rushed off towards the front doors. He took off at once, calling out “Wait!”

He’d reached the wide double doors leading to the outside, but did not find the girl. She meant for him to go out there, he knew, but he was extremely hesitant. At least in here he had the comfort of knowing what was his. All that could be out there was possibly even more agony. And yet…. something about that child… Something so sweet and familiar. Something warm and trustworthy. His breath shook and his hand trembled over the handle of the doors. There wasn’t much more his mind could take… It had been so long…. It had been so horrible. And he’d done awful things just to be allowed to rest, and he didn’t care about any of that. He was glad he had done it. So there couldn’t be anything worth seeing beyond these walls…

When the prophecy is fulfilled, those in thrall to darkness shall know peace.

The words came to him from nowhere, as if the very walls spoke to him. But he knew that voice, and he remembered their keeper… Lunafreya. Was that who he saw?

Whatever was out there… he knew he’d eventually go through. Now was better than ever. Just get it over with… Ardyn sucked in a deep breath and swung the doors open in one fluid motion with his eyes shut tight, bracing himself for the worst.

Through his eyelids, he saw… light.
Vibrant, bright light.
And then… the sounds… of cheering.

Slowly he opened his eyes, his vision gradually adjusting to the sudden glow. And there they were… everyone. The streets were filled with familiar faces. People he knew. People he lived amongst. People he loved and cared for. People he protected from Izunia’s wrath and the starscourge. So many of them.. all before him once again. All of them in an uproar of ovation, laughing, yelling, crying… He knew all these faces, even in passing. This was his home. Everything was new and vivid, full of the life he remembered. Ardyn stood there motionless, lost for breath. The shock had rendered him dumbfounded. What was happening? What was this?!

Before any of this could take him away, he heard it….


The crowd dispersed to reveal the figures he’d mourned for centuries… There they were. Right before him. Florentia, Aiolus, and Galena. Ardyn fell immediately to his knees as his two young children rushed into him, holding him and crying as hard as they could. Especially Aiolus, who was always a sensitive boy. He felt their desperate clinging and pressed them against him, smiling and crying.

Florentia stood a short ways away, allowing her husband to adore his children once again. She had, after all, witnessed everything. There would be much to talk about, and she would love him all the same.

“Dad…” Ailous sobbed happily, burying his face into his chest, clinging to his coat as if for dear life. “I missed you… I missed you so much… Dad… I…”

“Papaaa!” Galena practically sang the word. She reached her tiny hands to grab upon him and laughed enthusiastically as she always had.

Ardyn held them so tightly… “My…. my… It’s really you….” There was no holding it back. He was crying so hard. But the feeling of his children in his arms again… it was too much. Though smiling, he sobbed into them. All of a sudden, everything… everything that had passed in his over two thousand year life came rushing through him. And now…. none of it mattered. He no longer cared. This… this was everything. Just like it had been. “I’m here… I’m home. I’ve….” He gasped between words, unable to compose himself. These were emotions he’d long forgotten. Feeling them now, in such abundance, was more than overwhelming. “I’ve missed you… so much. I love you… My sweet children… by the gods… I have missed you…”

In the middle of the moment, Ardyn suddenly became aware of a presence amid the crowd… He looked up and saw the figure beckoning his attention.

And there she was…

Lady Lunafreya…

She looked upon him softly, and he could see her lips moving to speak. Though the distance between them was distinguishable, he could hear her as if she were standing right beside him…