sobs i love them so much i quit man

Okay but consider this Mobtale AU-

What if Muffet is Sans’ mob boss though?  I can see Muffet being a understanding but no non-sense leader.  She’s EXTREMELY crafty and intelligent and worked her way up to the top. She was the one who decided to open a bakery to cover up suspicious activity.  

She found Sans and Papyrus when they were kids, and didn’t have a lot of money or food to fend for themselves after their father mysteriously disappeared.  Muffet leaves Sans and Papyrus in Toriel’s care, the only one who actually WORKS for the bakery not knowing it’s a cover-up.  Toriel, recently having to divorce her husband after finding out what he was really doing and losing her first born son through one of the rival mobs killing out of revenge, pretty much had an empty home to herself.  She happily adopted Sans as Paps as her children.  

Papyrus was too young to really get what’s going on, and starts refering to Toriel as his mommy right away.  Sans doesn’t really trust much, but had no choice. He had to protect Papyrus now, and there was no doubt someone will figure out the sons inheriting Gaster’s fortune are alive and will be after these boys next.  Sans needed to learn how to defend himself!  So he just kept asking Ms. Muffet to join her group.  She just calls him adorable and pats his little skull. 

Years down the road, Sans was agreed to seek out information on the one who’s cheating Muffet out of her loans.  The info was always quick and it always seemed like Sans moved in the blink of Muffet’s 6 eyes!  She began to consider making him a true member, but had to keep it a secret from Toriel and anyone else.  

As for Papyrus?   He joined the police (much to the dismay of Sans telling him how dangerous it is to be a copper now-a-days), where Undyne is his chief!  Undyne wants NOTHING more than to bring the one who’s committing all these murders to justice!  But there’s never evidence to go on!  It’s like whoever is doing this just teleports out of the scene.  Papyrus is a little too trusting to be a cop, and has had a few close calls himself, but someone always seems to take out the guys trying to injure Papyrus.  It’s almost as if someone is working on the sidelines to protect him.  

One day, Sans kinda screws himself over while doing the typical day’s work of ‘takin out the trash’ as he calls it when he realizes the victim had twins.  One was a mute, short haired child and other was a longer haired, slightly curly mop-top, all though quite different in comparison, they were both bawling from fear.  Worried if this man was going to hurt them too.  Sans was in trouble.  He was letting two witnesses survive, and he can’t just drop them off at an orphanage after this!  He’s got no choice.  He’s their guardian now.  Sans slowly leans to their levels and ask for their names.  Through sniffling and sobbing between breaths, the mop-top awnsers ‘I…I’m Chara.  And this is Frisk.’