sobergirls

what the fuck's up

Oh tumblr, how I’ve missed you.  The infinite scroll.  The anonymous venting.  I’m back.  I’m almost positive the last time I was rambling on tumblr, I was a hot mess.  A hot hot mess.  That doesn’t really do it any justice, but it’s okay.  Gotta laugh at yourself, right - ALAS, I’ve gotten my shit together.  I’m not really sure who I’m speaking to…INTERNET, you’ll be pleased to know that alcohol and Xanax are no longer a physical and emotional requirement in my day to day life.  No longer necessary to function.  It’s been 8 months and 7 days since I stopped poisoning my body.  It’s been a hell of a ride.  Some days I hate it.  And some days I love it.  Today is one of those days where I hate the sober life, and instead of obsessing over it, I was like…“oh let’s start a new blog”.  I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.  I consistently resist the suggestion to “write about it”.  It makes me cringe every time someone in sobriety says they stayed up late journaling. Good for you.  Don’t tell me how to live my life.  Anyway, let’s see how this goes - Perhaps my bitching will be annoying.  Perhaps I’ll write some mind blowing wisdom.  Maybe I’ll just reblog tons of pictures of kittens and Led Zeppelin.  I can dig it. 

IM BACK LOVIES! 💋💔 In case you were wondering where I was, my phone screen shattered and then I didn’t have wi-fi in my new apartment! It’s been a crazy week! I moved into my new apartment last weekend, my last day of school was Tuesday, I graduate this Tuesday and am doing #makeup for a commercial tomorrow! I am also going on my 40th day of #sobriety!! Things are continuing to go well in my life THANK YOU LORD! 🙏🙌 And, thanks to all of you for all the constant love and support! 👍😘💛 #makeupartist #hairenvy #me #selfie #limecrime #bhcosmetics #naked3 #naked2 #urbandecay #macgirls #bareminerals #mermaidhair #igers #instagood #bellami #teambellami #hairpost #hairporn #success #blessed #greatful #stayhumble #sobergirls

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Soooooo @ashweelb did this to me last night. I turned back into a #mermaid! 😍❤️🐠🐟🐬🐳🐋 #me #selfie #pravana #pravanavivids #redhead #redhair #littlemermaid #ariel #eyebrows #mua #makeupartist #igers #instagood #instalikes #iwokeuplikethis #soberlife #sobergirls #pretty #curls #bellami #teambellami #bellamibeauty

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Battling the Storm

Oh some days are better than others. Yesterday was pretty rough but I got trough it. I admit to thinking about going back to drinking but what good does that bring my life? I have a tendency to want to self sabotage when I feel sad or down. I’m glad I go to counseling. It helps so much. I’m starting to think I need to find a group of girls around my age that are part of a no drinking program so I have extra support. I’ll have to do some research. Life is good its just so hard to see it sometimes when you’re in the middle of a chaotic storm. I’m so hard on myself. How to I learn to be gentle to myself? Loving myself isn’t turning back to drinking I know that. Ill just end up hurting myself again and going through the same cycle. Eventually that thought will wither and die. I just have to remember all the shitty parts of it instead of the parts that made me feel temporarily free from myself. But why on earth would I want to run away from me? This is why I need to take care of myself and be good to me. Sometimes it’s just so hard. Then there’s God, a higher power, an unseen force that awakens you and is louder than the demons whisper in your ear. 

Watch on valeriejomua.tumblr.com

Get up and get it! 👍👌💪 99% of my workouts are done either with my son or with him in the room playing. Otherwise I wait for him to nap and get that #workout in. It is super important to not make excuses for not being able to work out. Truth is, if you wanted it bad enough you would do whatever it takes to make it possible! So…….SUCK IT UP AND GET TO MOVIN! 👏🙏🙌 #me #fit #fitmom #fitness #momlife #girlswithtattoos #tattooed #lifestyle #lifestylechange #sober #sobriety #soberlife #sobergirls #weightloss #weightlossjourney #weightlosswednesday #iusedtobefat #healthyissexy #healthyliving #weightwatchers #transformation #goals #igers #instagood #instalikes #noexcuses

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Sharing my story of my addiction and the start of my recovery is one of the best decisions I have made. I have received so much support since @partysoberclothing shared my story on their blog for the #partysoberchallenge and it feels so amazing. From hearing others stories and that I’m #notalone is a wonderful feeling. I hope that my story can touch someone and maybe inspire their sobriety and show them it is possible to kick the booze for good! Thank all of you for the support it truly means a lot. 💞😇 #addiction #sober #soberlife #sobergirls #soberissexy #neverhungover #healthyliving #thankyoulord #sobriety #igers #instagood #instalikes #alcoholfree #gome #happiness #love #lovelife #freedom #mua #reallife #proud #notashamed #inspire #mua #nonalocholic

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Just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I still can’t have a relaxing, calm night. I used to think that drinking was my only way to unwind and relax but, I am finally believing what I knew all along and that’s, ‘you can’t look for outside vices to make the inside happy’. Every day gets easier and I feel better as well. I know I can get through this and keep it up! Goodnight lovies! 💞👍🍓🍐🍒 #nonalocholic #sober #soberlife #sobergirls #soberissexy #candlelight #ikea #sparklingcider #bonesbrigade #boozefree #flowers #igers #instagood #instalikes #happiness #neverhungover #ayurveda #gome #goodnight #soblessed #thankyoulord #healthyissexy #healthyliving #makeupartist #zzz

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5.22

Ninety days sober today.

I feel blessed to have the obsession removed a lil more each day
I think I had to be in such utter disgust with myself in order to get to this clarifying point in my life
I had to reach such deep levels of darkness
in order to want to give up chasing my highs

I had to make myself suffer
-just enough-
to want to work towards something better

I fought so hard to get myself fucked up,

now I hold my head high,
& fight even harder for my recovery.