sober kid

I left my husband at that party. Our neighborhood is right across the street from theirs, so I told him to just call or text when he’s ready to come home. He’s getting into the Freemasons and it was the wife of one of the guys’ birthday party. She’s like literally old enough to be my mom. I was the only sober one besides the kids and more and more people started showing up, plus I was the only one that didn’t know anyone besides my husband and our daughter. I just love a good awkward situation.

Being 32 weeks pregnant and tired as hell for no real reason other than being pregnant….yea, I slapped in a messy bun and got in pajamas almost immediately after getting home lol.

I was texting my best friend and she was asking me if I was going to try to join the Eastern Stars…they’re the female version of freemasons…I told her I’d rather join a book club 😆



Yoonji-yah who is sleeping well,
I will give you your gift when you wake up
So hurry up and wake up
Happy Birthday

Signs as Ghost Stories Dub Quotes
  • Aries: "The number you have dialed is no longer in service. HEY! MAYBE IF THEY PAID THEIR FUCKIN PHONE BILL YOU COULD CALL AGAIN!"
  • Taurus: "Go get me coffee. Be my bitch."
  • Gemini: "God, you are four of the ugliest fucking kids I've ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on. I can't wait for this bitch to kill you."
  • Cancer: "I'm a sexually frustrated fourth grader!"
  • Leo: "Leo! Leo! Leo! Leo! Gawd damn it! Gawd damn it! Gawd damn it! Gawd damn it!"
  • Virgo: "Dad calls her whore but I like to call her mom."
  • Libra: "But then if everything was already reversed, which world would be the real world? Would it be the mirror world or this one? Maybe the reflection we see is real, ever thought of that? Isn't that just freaking you out? I mean, seriously, isn't that just whack crap? Huhehehehheh. I'm playing with your mind, man! And you know what the wierd part is? I'm not even high! Not one bit! Completely sober."
  • Scorpio: "Remember kids: say no. To everything."
  • Sagittarius: "Tamomi? Aint no Tamomi girl here living here, so what?. Get your crack head ass head into some rehab, I aint got time for this bull–"
  • Capricorn: "You know what i hear? I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up!"
  • Aquarius: "Once this bitch kicks I'm moving to Vegas."
  • Pisces: [Keiichirou incoherently screaming]
It Runs in the Family

A little bit for @fangirlforlife2448 who wanted Henry walking in on CS like Emma and Henry walked in on Snowing in season 2.

Crack-ish, semi-smutty fluff with a tiny dose of naval-gazing (literal and figurative) coming up, Hayley! I hope you like it!

1.8k, Rated M for nipple.

She burrows her nose into Killian’s chest, watching the gauzy white curtains flutter over their perfect view of the sunrise, curls her toes into the cool cotton of their bed sheets, and wonders when she got so lucky.

His arm is warm against her bare back and the beat of his heart is solid and steady under her ear and this is her life now. This is her life.

Killian wraps a disheveled curl around his finger, watching the play of light through the golden strands.

“You know,” he says, “I’ve been thinking.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Andreil prompt: Tipsy/drunk Neil on the dance floor + Andrew's reaction

Canonically, Neil prides himself on being discreet and forgettable, on being able to blend into the background and do what he does without gaining anyone’s attention.

Canonically, Neil is lying to himself.

Canonically, drunk Neil is even worse.

I mean let’s face the facts. In the one instance in the series that Neil isn’t sober the kid pays some random guy to knock him unconscious.

So while I love the prompt, I’m going to tweak it a tiny bit.

So here is an incomplete list of the stupidest things drunk Neil has ever done:

  • Attempted to twerk to Bad Blood (he failed)
  • Kissed a lizard named Beth on New Years
  • Kissed Beth the lizard again at the New Years after that
  • Had a Twitter sass fight with John Stewart that lasted two and a half hours. Neil won.
  • Forgot how to speak every language except Russian, which wouldn’t have been that much of a problem, except a bunch of Russian tourists managed to convince Neil he was also a tourist from St Petersburg who lost his passport. Cue one long and useless phone call to the Russian embassy.
  • Went to dance floor, disappeared, showed up the next morning with his phone full of selfies of Neil and a guy who looks exactly like Tupac.
  • Beat the shit out of a drag queen who tried to stab him. Took the wig as a trophy.
  • Karaoke. Drunk Neil really, REALLY likes karaoke. Is he good? No. But like that will stop him. Andrew can’t stop him. (Someone please stop him).
  • The night the Moriyamas killed uncle Stuart, Neil brokes Eden’s Twilight record by drinking 32 jäger bombs. He was out of it for two days and hung over for three.
  • Kissed Beth on New Years a third time, at which point he and Beth’s owner just traded phone numbers because why ruin the start of a great tradition

To make it clear, Andrew was present for all of these expept Tupac, and it all almost makes Andrew hate Neil a little less, if he can make life this interesting.

I heart John Frusciante. I heart his ridiculously long fingers. I heart the way he says “you know”. I heart his awkward pants and loose fitting socks. I heart his abscesses. I heart his random hysterical laughter. I heart the way he can make putting his leg behind his head look easy. I heart John Frusciante in all his greasy-haired glory. I heart the way he lives for music. I heart John Frusciante.

anonymous asked:

drabble prompt!! rhys had his arm cybernetic arm torn off so he has to go to get emergency surgery, jack is going crazy with worry and has to refrain himself from punching the nurses when they won't let him in the surgery theatre (also a lil loopy rhys after thx)

this was so fun to write. i also posted it on ao3 because why not. (send me drabble prompts!)

Jack fumed as he paced outside the surgical theater. Fortune was not on his side that day, and he was more than a little pissed at lady luck’s apparent grudge against him.

Of course the one time he sent his head of sales down to R&D to see the new weapon Hyperion was supposed to be marketing (which, let it be known, was literally part of the idiot’s job description) happened to be the day of a screw-up that loosed a horde of stalkers on the facility. And of course the fool hadn’t brought a shield or weapon with him. And of course the moron had to get hit by a corrosive stalker’s needle that fried his cybernetic arm and melded it into his now nerve-damaged shoulder.

And of course that dumbass had to be Rhys.

Keep reading


theme: chriseva (skam)
words: 1840
about: when chris and eva are drunk at a party there’s only one way things can end, yet something is different on the morning after.

Oh, she was mad. She was mad, but most of all, she was hurt. Given the freedom that came with it, she didn’t usually mind that her mother was never home. It had stung at first, when she didn’t really understand that it was the only way to mantain their small family, but then everything inside her had settled, to a point when sometimes she almost felt happy to have the whole house to herself. But this time it had gone too far.

It had been two weeks before when she fell sick. And with sick, she meant not leaving bed for one week straight. The fever had been the worst of it, and it had got bad enough that her friends took turns to skip school and stay with her during the day, and sometimes even take her to the ER, altough both times she had been sent back home with a prescription and orders to stay in bed. And her mother, her mother, hadn’t even cared. Or if she did, she didn’t shown signs of it other than the stupid, useless daily calls that usually the girls answered.

Keep reading


As a part of the ACOWAR exchange, moderated by @squaddreamcourt, I was tasked with writing a fic for the wonderful Christine of @fangirlinganation.  I hope you like it!  It was a blast to write :)

“Can I talk to Rhysand for a moment?”  The Inner Circle had just finished another dinner in the House of Wind, when Nesta spoke up amongst the crowd.  Nobody hid their noticing of the way Nesta addressed him.  Rhysand.  “What?”

“That was the first time you’ve ever requested to speak with me,” Rhys noted, sipping his wine.  “Normally you demand it.”

Keep reading


hey y’all, i know i said i’d do a giveaway soon but something pretty urgent has come up….. 

long story short, i was guaranteed a job at a dog daycare so i quit looking for work. that was about a month ago.

 i only just found out, after wondering why tf my supposed new boss was dodging my calls and ignoring me on FB, that he’d been in jail for a couple weeks and is now focusing on sobering up for his kids. so. don’t think i’ll be starting there anytime soon, if at all.

my savings are used up. i already owe the IRS $$ for not having textbook receipts from two years ago. i’m selling plasma and applying to everywhere i can think of, but i’m just. in a bind rn. if y’all would take a look at the things i have up on ebay (or message me if you’d rather buy directly thru paypal) it would help me make rent. 

if you’re not a collector of dead things but are kind enough to want to help, my paypal is rent here is affordable so even $5 puts me way closer to scraping by!

HERE is a link to the ebay page (it’s my dad’s, using it ‘cause of the seller rating lol)

Sober kids are the good kids,
Sheltered, kicking back
With their minds
Powered by PlayStation
And Quenched on Pepsi.

While they never engaged
In any kind of fist fight,
Despite mimicking
mortal kombat moves
Infront of the mirror–
But they will rip apart
Any facebook thread
Made by Becky’s soccer mom
(Followed because she’s actually kind of hot)
Over her mulish support
And patriotism she suddenly acquired
Upon the inauguration of our president.

Those are the kids
Making sex jokes
As they fap to anime chicks
And getting lit,
While the only thing
They have ever used a lighter for
Was to light their own birthday cake–
Oh, they also managed
To burn their thumb.

Sheltered kids, quiet as they are
Can be quite fun too,
Just give them a chance
To be normal too.

—  Sheltered kids


Does music summon memories for you, too? I was just listening to Brubeck. As always, he took me back. Way back. To that jazz/trad clothing era that the “Ivy “ bloggers write about as an act of fashion faith but never saw.

And I suddenly and vividly recall a time and a place where the WASP giants I knew and loved still roamed the earth. It was a time when what we called the “college look” was our daily dress. Dirty bucs. OCBD shirts with a loop in the back. Suits in sober patterns, even for kids. When becoming a “grown up” was something we looked forward to.

Those giants I loved and looked up to are long gone now.  Except for Mr. S., I just heard he is still around, still wearing awful GTH trousers to the club. I have to drop him a note to thank him for being such a solid role model. Or perhaps I should “tweet” at him? No. He deserves a handwritten note. 

It must seem like a whispered rumor to you. Or worse, perhaps a perverse put-on from a guy who writes about the 1969 Rolling Stones. And many of you will find my veneration of these old white Protestant males somehow wrong. Yet they were my family and my neighbors. And walking around this old town today and listening to Brubeck, it all flooded back. I promise you that for me it was a true and real and good thing.

“All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.”