sobbing silently to myself

Battling For Love-Jon Snow x Reader One Shot


Summary: (Y/N) has been stuck in Winterfell as the Boltons took over. Just a regular servant, she tries to stay out of their way, doing their bidding as not to be punished. But she hears rumours of her lover coming back to reclaim his home and a little bit of hope comes back to her.

Characters: Jon Snow x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

Warnings: Some violence and swearing but mostly fluff


I brought my knees to my chest, covering my mouth to mask the heavy breathing. I tried to stay as quiet as I could, silently sobbing to myself. This was terrifying. There was no telling how long I had been hunched up in this wardrobe, hiding away from any of the guards. Ramsay Bolton had been ruling over Winterfell, he was a terrible man, a psychotic man. Everyone had seen the way he treated Theon and Sansa just before they escaped; I wouldn’t wish Ramsay upon my worst enemy.

Why had everything turned to shit? When had it turned to shit? Actually, I knew when that happened, for me at least. Personally my life felt like it was ending as soon as my love, Jon Snow, told me he was leaving for the wall. Jon and I had been deeply in love, him being a bastard to the infamous Ned Stark and me being a simple servant in their house. It had happened so suddenly, we had just been in a normal conversation and then we both realised it. Our love for each other grew each day, he had even mentioned marriage. Then he just left. One morning he had told me he was leaving for the Wall because he felt out of place here. It had hurt me so badly, but I was so in love with him that I ignored that and let him go.

Of course everything bad happened after that. Ned, with his two daughters Sansa and Arya, travelled to Kings Landing, he was beheaded because of treason, Sansa was trapped there and Arya was nowhere to be found; Bran and Rickon were also missing, the eldest of them all, Robb, along with his mother were killed at his own wedding. The Starks had gone through so much. I had truly loved working for them, they were never cruel. So when the Boltons took over, a harsh reality hit us all in the face.

Everyday I missed Jon more and more, tempted to leave and join the Wall myself. It was a stupid fantasy of mine. I would ride all the way out there to be with him and become the first woman to join the Watch. I was such a stupid girl.

I then realised that it had gone quiet. There were no cantering of horse’s hooves, the shouts of men battling or the clashing of weapons. Slowly unraveling my body, the door creaked open and I tiptoed towards the window. It felt wrong, why was it so silent out there? Has we won? He the Boltons won?! With my body shaking, I peeked out the window, immediately spotting the giant that was laying face down in the ground with multiple arrows sticking out of its back. What had happened in this battle?! I had only ever heard of giants as a child when my parents would tell me stories. However, I came distracted by something else.

The silence was broken as a man started to harshly beat Ramsay. I couldn’t see his face but was glad that someone was taking out everyones anger on him. He wasn’t stopping anytime soon, blood masking Ramsay’s face now. Unless someone stopped him, Ramsay was going to end up dead, which wasn’t a problem in my eyes, though I believed that he deserved a car worse death than this. Apparently someone else thought that too, shouting at the man to stop; I recognised that voice, sighing in relief when I spotted Sansa, so happy that she was alive. As she yelled at him to stop, the man lifted his face, and I couldn’t stop the shocked gasp that left my lips.

I dashed outside to the wall, needing to see if my eyes were deceiving me. I hadn’t realised my body was shaking until I stood still. The man slowly stood, looking at the young Stark girl, then to me. He was covered in mud and blood, that along with his armour masking who he was. But I could recognise those blue eyes any day. Jon was here, he had come back.

We gazed at each other for a few more seconds before he sprinted towards the stairs that lead to the wall. I was frozen in place. I couldn’t believe he was here, after all those years. Without hesitating he threw his arms around my much smaller body, gripping on tightly as I did the same. I was crying again, this has to be some sort of dream. After all this time being stuck in a nightmare was my since finally here to wake me up? Jon was the first to pull away, but quickly placed his lips on mine. I didn’t want to let go, ever.

Finally seperating, I took in how he looked. It had been years since I saw him, so things were bound to change. The Wall had changed him too; he was much broader and looked stronger, his features now more defined. He had become even more handsome, if that was even possible.

“(Y/N).” he breathed out.“You’re here. You’re still here.”

I sniffled.“Of course I am. I could never leave, I always thought that you might come back.”

He smiled.“You shouldn’t have done that, but I’m glad you did.”

“Snow!” a gruff voice called from below. His men were waiting further orders.

I blushed realising that they had seen all of that. We laughed together, it was amazing to feel happiness again.

He leaned down, his forehead resting on mine as he held my hands.“I need to see to my men, but I promise that I will come back to you. Wait in my old room, I will be there as soon as possible.”

I paced across the floor in anticipation, nervousness filling me. I had always been a shy girl, especially around Jon. He seemed bolder now. From what had happened earlier, it seemed like nothing had changed, but what would happen now? He had defeated the Boltons but was he going after anyone else?

The door opened and I spun round, smiling as he walked in. His face wasn’t covered in mud so much, he must have cleaned up just as I had. I held out a hand to him, making him sit down as I grabbed a bowl and cloth.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I filled the cloth in the warm water.“You’re still a mess. I want to see your face properly.”

I was about to sit on the chair across from him, when he pulled me onto his lap. Giggling, I relaxed as his hands went to my waist and I started to wipe away the dirt. He watched me intently but I wasn’t bothered by it.

“I’m sorry.” he suddenly said as I began to dry his face.

I stopped for a second, confused at what he had said.“What? Why are you sorry?”

“For leaving you. Look what happened to this place! I had always wanted to come back to you. When I found out the Boltons were here, I prayed that you were not hurt, or worse…..”

“Do not be sorry. You’re back now, that’s all that matters.”

“As for the future, I don’t know what’s going to happen. The Lannisters are still out there, somehow still in charge-”

“You can’t be serious? Going after the Lannisters?”

“Like I said, I don’t know what will happen. Apart from one thing.”

“And what is that?”

“That you will be by my side for the rest of my life.”

I blushed again, trying to hide it as I kissed him.

“And another thing?”


“That you’ll marry me.”

My mouth fell open, eyes widened. Had he really just asked me that? My one wish was finally coming true.

I nodded frantically.“Of course I will. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since I met you.”

Coming Home - Caleb Holloway (Epilogue)

Author: @writing-obrien

Character(s): Caleb Holloway/Reader, Mr. Jimmy, Mike Williams, Felicia and Sydney Williams

Word Count: 743

Notes: So, after a long wait, here it is. The series is over and I really hope y’all enjoyed it. I know it was short, possibly not the best of my series’ and admittedly the parts were short, but thank you for sticking through it with me. This was my first ever series, and the Prologue to it was my third ever post. So, this is to all of you who stuck with me. I love you all, so much. Also, I need to give a HUGE thanks to my girl Lissa for her help, encouragement and suggestions on this part, @mf-despair-queen I love you, boo.

Originally posted by dylanobrienthingss

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[This request was made anonymously and it’s an interesting one, hopefully you all enjoy it!]

“Tell us who did it, Y/N, we’ll kill the bastards-”
  My mom elbowed my dad in the side and he gave her a half-annoyed half-amused look with a small shrug.
  “Maim is what we’re going for, we just gotta teach the brat who’s boss. No one messes with our kid and gets away with it,” she said it with such pride and confidence which only made me feel worse.
  Looking down at my hands clasped in my lap I bit my lower lip to try and keep the tears from spilling over. The daughter of the infamous King and Queen of crime shouldn’t cry, I just turned twelve two months ago and twelve year old’s don’t cry.
  “Don’t worry about it you guys,” I mumbled, picking an imaginary fluff from my stockings.
  “See, I told you there’s nothing to worry about Harl’s, our Y/N’s got this,” my dad said confidently and I left the table. 
  Trudging down the hall to my bedroom I shut the door and locked it. For a few moments I rested my forehead against the door and willed myself not to make a sound as my body shook with every silent sob. Turning slowly I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I hesitantly touched my swollen right eye and my busted lip. 
  When my dad said I had this, he meant that at school tomorrow I would walk right up to Georgiana Hooper and make her regret ever touching me. They both were so sure that I would make them proud and whip her into shape… if that was the case I would have done that today but I didn’t. I just lay there as she beat me and I tried not to make a sound and give her the satisfaction, but I couldn’t help it after a while. 
  Moving to my desk I grabbed my coat from my chair and winced in pain as I slowly pulled it on. Desperate times call for desperate measures.


  I sat on a dumpster in an alley seven blocks away from home with my hands in my pockets as I patiently waited for Batman’s arrival. Now it may seem stupid for me to do such a thing with his history with my parents but I couldn’t think of a better person to go to. Sure I understood why he was such a joke, but I needed to figure something out. I needed to figure out what kind of person I wanted to be. So, I activated the virus I had implanted in his batmobile’s computer mainframe and sent him a message. 
  “How long have you been up there?” I asked, looking up at the fire escape where Batman lurked. 
  “Not long,” came his rasp. 
  “It’s not a trap if that’s what you’re thinking. My parents like an audience and a back alley at three in the morning isn’t that great a setting,” I said quietly, zipping up my coat to keep warm.
  Without a sound he was suddenly on the ground in front of me, his eyes filled with suspicion and I didn’t blame him. 
  “Did your parents do that to-”
  “They love me in their own way, they would never hurt me-”
  “They put you in danger all the ti-”
  I sighed throwing my hands up in the air and I got ready to leave, “Forget it, this was a bogus idea,” 
  I paused turning to look at him and he gestured for me to sit down again. Narrowing my good eye at him I did as he said. 
  “You called me, now I should have started with asking why.”
  I pursed my lips, “I’m being bullied,” I grumbled. 
  He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, he was probably debating whether or not I was messing with him. 
  “Your parents didn’t help you with that? Not saying I would want you to get their help.”
  Running a hand through my hair I felt embarrassed for bringing it up, especially to the Bat.
  “Look Batsy, my parents may be, well, my parents but that doesn’t mean I gotta be like them right? I mean I like crime-no offence- but I’m not much of a fighter. I’m scared I won’t like it or somethin’ ya know? If I don’t like it then what? I’ll be a freak to them, they’ll hate me.” I wiped my nose on my sleeve and refused to look him in the eye. 
  He cleared his throat, “Y/N, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It is okay if you’re not a fighter, and I know you love your parents but there are better ways to live. If that person bullies you again, just walk away. Walk away from them, turn your back on this life, and if you do… I promise I will help you find a better life elsewhere,” he said, his voice had gone softer closer to the end.
  I looked at him then with wide eyes, “You mean it?” 
  He nodded and I pursed my lips, wondering if I could just leave. I wondered if I wanted to. 
  “Just walk away? You don’t walk away though,” 
  “You have to learn to decide which fights are worth fighting. Even if the bully deserves it, even if they hurt you, sometimes you have to be the bigger person. If I can see that, if you show me you want that, I will help you,” he said firmly. 
  I rose, climbing up the pipe without another word. He had given me something to consider, I found no peace in his promise though.


  It’s not that I didn’t want to continue their legacy, to me they were the coolest parents imaginable… but I had never hurt anyone before. I had never killed anyone before. There’s no going back from that. Sitting on the bench with my leg bouncing and my mind in knots to match my stomach I heard her shrill voice. 
  “I’m surprised to see you here today, hatchet-face,” Georgiana cackled.
  I looked back at her and her posse with fury in my eyes but I swallowed it back and stood. 
  “You and I both,”
  Taking a breath I turned away from her and began a strong and confident stride. I was just going to walk, I was going to walk and I was going to keep walking until the school was out of sight. 
  “Did I say you could leave?” Her voice was loud, she was following me.
  “Last I checked you were a bitch, not my mother,” I said with more courage than I felt. 
  I gasped as she yanked one of my pigtails so hard that I hit the ground. Looking up at her she laughed at me and I clenched my fists. 
  “Look at you, you’re so pathetic. You’re not The Jokers kid,”
  I narrowed my eyes. No one knew who my parents were, so how did she? As if reading my mind she answered that very question.
  “I overheard my daddy tell one of his men who works for your ‘dad’ and it is a well known fact that the clown has a daughter, but that man gave my daddy your name. I still can’t believe it, look at you, you’re pathetic,” She kicked me in the back and I hissed. 
  “If you know who I am then you better back off-”
  “Or what? You’ll get your daddy to fight your battles for you, Y/N?”
  She let me get up and I moved so my face was a mere inches from hers. My hands were shaking, every cell in my body was telling me to just deck her but I was still unsure. I wasn’t sure if this is how I wanted it to be. I know good and evil are just things we made up, I know what my parents are doing, but it’s a lot for a twelve year old to take in and figure out. 
  “You’re not worth it, Georgiana, none of you are,” I spat, turning to resume my walk.
  “And you’re a disappointment. Your parents kill people and you don’t even have the guts to fight me. Go on then Y/N, go home and cry. You’re fucked up dad and insane mother probably don’t even care about you. They’ll probably toss you aside and make another crazy when they realise you’re defective. Poor little Y/N, you’re nothing, you’re no one.”
  During her speech something inside me snapped, or perhaps she had unleashed something that was already there. It was something dark, something that is probably in every single one of us but people choose whether or not to set it loose. I began to laugh, an obnoxious, mad, howling laugh that made Georgiana’s posse slowly edge away from her as I turned. Georgiana’s eyes had become less arrogant. 
  “Do you like nursery rhymes?” I asked with a giggle.
  She gave me a look,” You’re insane, Y/N,” she turned to leave but I ran in front of her, my voice lowering to almost a growl, “Did I say you could leave?” 
  Her eyes widened and her skin paled, oh, that was satisfying. 
  “I asked you a question,”
  She licked her lips, “Not really, no,” 
  Georgie Porgie, puddin’ and pie,
  Kicked Y/N and made her cry,”
  I punched her hard in the mouth, so hard I felt one of her teeth crack and break the skin of one of my fingers. She hit the ground hard and the other kids ran off to get help. Georgiana put a hand to her mouth and she was crying, part of me was scared but another part felt liberated. There is no good in this world, not truly, even Batman was not as good as everyone thought him to be. As my dad says, all it takes is one bad day. 
  I knew I wasn’t going to accept Batman’s offer even if I hadn’t been sure at the time. I didn’t want to leave my family, I had only been scared that they would leave me if I wasn’t like them, but I am. 
  “You chipped my teeth you psycho!” she yelled. 
  “I’m not done my rhyme,” I kicked her in the stomach just as hard as she had kicked me the other day. 
  “Georgie Porgie, tried to beg
   Please, oh please, don’t break my leg!”
  My boot came down hard three times on her knee and oh she screamed. She screamed and she screamed and that scream played like a song in my ears even after I had ran from the school. 
  Once I was in the clear I was quick to tell my dad to hurry and come get me from where I hid in his old warehouse. 
  “You made a choice then,” Batman said, descending from the rafters. 
  I laughed, backing away and grabbing a pipe to defend myself. “Alas yes, we both knew it was going to happen this way. People like her don’t deserve second chances. I may not understand all of it, but I understand this whole good and evil stuff is stupid. It’s like in a book I read, we, we,” I had to stop and think about it.
  “We condition ourselves to be good out of fear of being punished. Goodness is fake. Do you get it?” I asked, annoyed that I couldn’t be clearer. 
  “Your parents really did a number on you, didn’t they?” He said as he moved closer. 
  Annoyance flared within me, “You keep blaming them because it’s easier to blame them than to realise that maybe, just maybe I would always end up here. It makes you sad that you are helpless against it,”
  “I’m not. I can take you to an asylum where you can get hel-”
  My dads car broke through the doors and Batman was knocked to the side. My dad threw open the door and my parents were grinning at me. 
  “Hop in Y/N, we’re going to go celebrate.” 
  “One second,”
  I moved over to Batman who was slowly getting up, “I don’t need help Batsy, you do.”
  Hearing my dad laugh I ran back to the car and slid in between them. My mom kissed my hair and my dad sped off. Listening to my moms praise and my dads laughter I felt happy. Brushing my thumb across the small cut from Georgiana’s tooth I couldn’t help but smile. I was looking forward to teaching the world a lesson as the Princess, no I don’t like that, the Child of Crime next to my parents. I had never been more certain of anything in my life.

Sleeping lion 6

Pairing: Phan

Genre: fluff/ angst

Warnings: mpreg / operation (not Graphic) 

Summary:  A Baby, what could possibly go wrong with that?

Thanx to my Beta manlylester

Part 5


It was harder to organise a wedding than I thought. We couldn’t agree on the location and who to invite. Phil wanted to invite everyone. He even mentioned a YouTube live stream. I would like it small, only our close relatives and friends, somewhere private. The only things we were quick to choose were our suits. I will wear a black one with leather applications including a black shirt and a leather bow tie. He chose the white one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s suite in The Great Gatsby.

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anonymous asked:

"You look really tired" or "I really need you" for keadlyn?

I’m just gonna do “I really need you” also I’m very sorry this hurts me. This is like an alternate version to the scene in the crown

“I really need you”

I had walked into that room planning on proposing to Kile, then I’d changed my mind. I needed Kile to be happy and safe and prosperous. I could tell he still ached to get out of the palace, still wanted to see the world and study more and help people. He wanted to do things that he couldn’t from a throne. I could feel tears streaking down my face, bringing my mascara with them. 

“Eadlyn,” Kile started, moving a step towards me, but I took a step back. I couldn’t touch him right now. I couldn’t touch the boy that I loved, knowing that I was about to send him away from me. 

“Kile,” I managed to choke out. “I need you to leave.” I said quietly. My hands were shaking and dripping with sweat and I tried whipping them on my dress, but it didn’t help much. 


“You lost. You’re out. And I need you to leave the palace.” 

“Wait a minute, Eadlyn!” He shouted at my back as I turned to leave, the tears still running down my face and getting caught in my mouth. “You can’t just make me leave. This is my home. My family is here. I need them. You’re here. And… and I really need you.” I shook my head, the salt dripping into my mouth at a faster pace now. 

“You can’t. You have to go, and live. Go to Germany and Italy and go visit Bonita and Dominica. You can stay here. Just leave me alone,” I cried, silent sobs now wracking my body. I backed myself up to the wall and slid down against it, the cool floor comforting me. I saw his shoes in front of me though my teary-vision. He squatted in front of me, but I refused to bring my gaze up to meet his. 

“Eady,” he said softly, hooking a finger under my chin and pulling my eyes up to meet his. “Eadlyn, do you love me?” He asked. My gaze was locked on his blue eyes, and though I couldn’t speak, I nodded slowly. 

“Then I will miss a thousand trips around the world. I’ll mail my designs to people instead of going to oversee their building. I will stay here.” This time, I shook my head. 

“I will not be the person who keeps you from doing what you love.” 

“No,” he said, “because I’ll be with you.” He leaned forward to kiss me, but I placed my hand over his mouth. 

“I want you to go. I want you to fit enough for a million lifetimes into one. I want you to have your own kitchen and I want you to live your life outside of this palace, without any obligations but to yourself. I’m giving you your out, Kile. Please take it.” 

Kile had nothing to say. His eyes were bright with tears and his mouth had dropped open. 

“I love you Kile, so I will not keep you from the life you deserve.” I searched his eyes, trying to determine his next move. He nodded slowly, and my lips turned up slightly at the sides, even as tears continued to fall. 

Faster than I would have thought possible, Kile closed the distance between us and crushed his lips to mine. I responded immediately, moving onto my knees to give me better leverage. I tangled my hands in his hair, yanking him towards me and deepening our kiss. I tried not to think about the fact that I would have to let go, and just be happy in the moment that the man I loved was safe and happy in my arms. 

Hold Me Tight

Summary: Taehyung has just returned home from a long tour so he and the reader make up for lost time.

Genre: Fluff/Smut

Word Count: 2,418

Originally posted by jimins-bootae

Awakening to your favourite weather gently interrupting your slumber is always the best start to a morning. For me, that awakening has always involved the steady pitter patter of raindrops against my bedroom window. This morning in particular, my eyes remained shut a few moments longer than usual, not necessarily out of tiredness but rather because I wanted to remember the night before. I wanted to remember each individual touch I felt, from the innocent to the intimate. I made damn sure each way that my loving boyfriend’s body interacted with mine was burned into my memory for future reference or for the long periods of loneliness which I often faced as a result of dating an idol.

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Open Up (Newt x Reader)

Character: Newt

Fandom: Maze Runner

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Shy!Reader

Title: Open Up

Requested by anon:

Hi! You have amazing imagines! I was wondering if you could do a NewtxReader where Y/N is super shy, and she sorta isolates herself, the Gladers try and get a word out of her but fail, but then at her celebration, Newt forces the fun out of her and it’s all sweet and mushy? Sorry if that’s confusing but thanks anyway! :3

A/N: Here you go, I hope this is somewhat what you pictured and hence you like it. Enjoy! :3

After Alby showed me around the Glade in the Tour I went to hide in the Deadheads and stayed there, trying to take in everything that was happening.

I was sent to a strange courtyard in an elevator and was welcomed by dozens of boys I didn’t know. My memory was completely blank, I couldn’t remember anything at all except for my own name. And I was trapped in that place for who knew how long. With those strangers. And apparently, with monsters.

I tried to make an effort to grow used to it all, but it was hard.

I didn’t even remember any of the boy’s names except for Alby and Newt. And that was only because they were the leader and the second in command. Still, everyone’s faces were just strangers’. And everything seemed so scary and overwhelming, I was terrified.

I silently sobbed as I curled up against myself.


For the entirety of the day, I didn’t move from the spot.

Only when it got darker and this eerie feeling took over the forest, did I move to sit against one of the gigantic walls of the Maze.

A few Gladers had approached to try and make me talk or at least kind of check on me. Not that is was that many. Just four of them. Out of fifty or so they were…

The Keeper of the Cooks came to offer me some food because, according to him, Greenies had to keep their energies up. He was nice.

Then another boy, one a lot younger, came by too. He wouldn’t stop talking, until the point where he was really annoying. The kid had to be around twelve, and I understood he wanted to make a friend or something, but I wasn’t in the mood.

The third one was Newt. He didn’t say anything, but my theory was that Alby asked him to check on the ‘Greenie’ for him. Still, the British didn’t stay long. He just walked towards me, asked me if I needed anything and left when I shook my head. Not that I didn’t notice his sneaky glances towards me to see how I was doing.

And the third one was a Runner. An Asian guy that had tons of sass and a bad temper. I noticed him walking out of the terrifying Maze and talking with a brown haired boy who also wore the Runner equipment.

The second after, he was jogging in my direction, a look of genuine curiosity on his dark eyes as he watched me. The dark-haired boy crouched before me and positioned himself at eye level.

“Are you mute or something?” He didn’t even bother to say hi or introduce himself.

As a response, I silently stared at him.

If I was to talk to someone there, it wasn’t going to be that one guy. No, it had to be someone who understood why I was quiet and why I isolated myself. And someone that respected it and didn’t judge me because of it.

Not everyone could be as extroverted as some guys there were.

“Come on, girly!” The guy grinned smugly and gently nudged me on the shoulder with his knuckles. “Our beloved second in command says you have a name”

I still didn’t say anything. Besides, when you’re quiet you learn how much everyone else talks.

“Right, Y/N?”

I just stared blankly at him, trying my hardest to suppress a smirk as his eyebrows knitted together. He was annoyed.

“Whatever” He stood up and, with a last glance over his shoulder in my direction, he got off.

Only once he was out of sight, I grinned a little.


During the night, they made a bonfire in celebration of my arrival. Apparently, it was a tradition to have some short of party every time a Greenie arrived.

But just like the rest of the day, I went to a little corner where no one would notice me and observed the glowing flames of the fire in silence, dazed by my own thoughts and endless questions.

It was so confusing arriving there and not knowing anything at all. An existence where all you knew was your own name, like you had just been born. With around sixteen years…

Who put us here? Why? How could we get out? What-

“How you holding up, Greenie?” A husky voice with a British accent told me.

I felt really grateful towards him, because all day long he had been checking on me. Even if it was just by sending a reassuring grin in my direction or winking an eye at me when he noticed I felt down to encourage me.

He had noticed how shy I was and, unlike the other Gladers, he knew that he wouldn’t get nowhere by trying to make me talk. Even if I wasn’t so scared, it would still feel extremely hard to open up.

As a response to his question, I shrugged.

I saw him grin with the corner of my eye, and for some reason his smile was infectious.

I hid my mouth in my arms so he wouldn’t notice he made me smile. Still , he probably did anyway.

“Are you cold?” He asked, munching on something he grabbed.

The warmth from the bonfire kept me from getting cold from the chill night wind, so I shook my head, still not moving from my position. It felt safe.

“Why are you all bloody snuggled up then?” Newt chuckled, gently shoving me with his shoulder.

Pouting, I unwrapped my arms from my legs and sighed.

“That’s better, love” Newt kept calmly eating.

I blushed when he called me love, but tried to hide it from him.

I stared at him, though, curious about his persona. He acted around me as casually as he did around any other Glader, like he knew me for so long. And it surprised me.

When Newt finished his food, he stared back at me. So I looked away quickly, making him chuckle in amusement.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to the Gladers” He suddenly said, smiling as he grabbed my arm.

Reluctant to go with them, I slightly shrunk away from him. But he insisted, so I let him pull me up.

He probably would have pulled me up anyway since he was surprisingly strong.

Still not letting go of my arm, he took me next to one of them.

It was the Asian guy with a strong built and muscular arms, the one that had tried to make me talk and didn’t really succeed at it. Not that he tried too hard, though.

“Minho, do you know the Newbie?” Newt let go of my arm and friendly patted my back, subtly shoving me closer to Minho to socialize with him.

“Oh, yeah” Minho crossed his arms over his chest and eyed me up and down. “We know each other”

Satisfied, Newt placed an arm over my shoulders and grinned.

“Great, that’s so bloody great” The blond looked proud, like he managed to make me open up just because I was in front of Minho.

But I was far from that.

“So you talk to Newt and not me? Why do you like him better?” Minho challenged me, leaning his face closer to mine and staring at me with squinty eyes.

I looked away and blushed violently. I might like Newt better, but not only because he had been nicer and more understanding. There was something else about him that just made me feel on ease whenever he was around.

“Because I’m the most attractive lad in this bloody place, that’s why” Newt grinned, still not letting go of me.

“Yeah, right” Minho rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, shuck face”

Newt forgot about me for a second and took a step closer to Minho, jokingly challenging him to deny it on his face.

When Minho walked away, I thought about the word he had just used. ‘Shuck face’. What did it mean? I could ask Newt, not then but… eventually.

“Let’s introduce you to the rest of-“ He placed an arm around my waist, but I shook my head and firmly placed my feet on the ground not to be taken away by him again.

“I…” I began to speak, but changed my mind and closed my mouth again.

Newt didn’t push me to do it. Instead, he sweetly looked at me, still grinning in amusement, and encouraged me to speak with a glance of his brown eyes.

He looked surprised that I was finally ready to say something to them.

“What? Come on, you can tell me, love”

I frowned and took a deep breath. It was the second time I spoke that day. The first one being when they asked my name and I said it was Y/N.

“I… I don’t want to go…” My voice sounded low and tiny, almost like a tiny meowing of a cat.

But it seemed that Newt was amused by it, because a grin made its way very slowly on his lips.

“But you can’t stay here by yourself forever, love”

Again, I just shook my head. I felt like a little kid, but I didn’t care. Just the thought of having to meet more of them felt still overwhelming.

Newt chuckled and stopped trying to pull me towards the crowd. Instead, he let go of me and absently stared as if he was considering what to do next.

“I’ll go easy on you for now” He casually folded his arms over his chest and shifted the weight of his body to the other feet. “But you have to bloody open up eventually”

I sighed and nodded reluctantly.


“I promise…” I pouted, but I knew that he was right. If I was to be a part of the Glade, I would have to socialize and interact with people sooner or later. And that meant opening up.

“I’ll only leave you alone if you have some fun” A tiny smirk appeared in the right corner of his mouth. “You’re supposed to be the guest of honor”


Without giving it a second thought, Newt got hold of my hands and took me closer to the fire. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, but I tried to ignore them.

Newt pulled at my arms to make me move while he clumsily danced along with me. I made an effort of moving to the rhythm of the drums some of the Gladers were playing a few meters from us.

Exasperated by my shyness, Newt held one of my hands over my head, dropping the other. Then, he spun me around so fast that I had to lean my hands on his shoulders to recover my balance while he laughed, still grinning in a gorgeous way when he was finished laughing.

I shyly smiled and pushed myself away from him.

“Bloody hell, talk at least” That gorgeous grin still was on his lips as we danced, and he made me laugh for the first time since I arrived in that frightening place.

“Shut up!” I chuckled, snatching my hands away from his when he tried to grab them again and shoving him by the shoulders.

I didn’t know where that came from, but it felt natural with Newt.

His brown eyes widened in surprise and I giggled at his funny face. Still, he recovered fast and nodded to himself.

“That’s more like it”

From that moment on, and for the rest of the night, I chatted and danced with Newt. A smile permanently plastered on my face.


Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

It’s been a week since I agreed to pretend to be Nash’s girlfriend. We’ve been tweeting back and forth a little so the fans weren’t too surprised when we would tell everyone about the relationship. Today we were doing the girlfriend tag for his youtube. I quickly wrote down some questions I was going to ask and the answers on a piece of paper, then I walked over to their house.

I rung the door bell and Chad answered, “Dakota!” He hugged me, “Hi Mr. Grier.” He pulled back confused, I’ve never called Chad “Mr. Grier” before, I’ve always referred to him as Chad. Playing it off I said, “It’s been a long time.” He put his hand on my shoulder, “Too long.” I looked down at the ground, I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed having him around, he took me in like I was one of his own. He pointed upstairs, “Nash is waiting for you.”

I walked into his room and threw him my piece of paper, “What’s this?” I looked at him strangely, “The questions I’m going to ask you along with the answers.” He laughed, “Dakota, I’ve known you for how long? I think I know the answers.” I shrugged, “Some people change.” He frowned at me.

I sat down while he got up to turn on the camera. “Hey what’s up you guys. It’s Nash here with the beautiful Dakota. As some of you may know, we are together, so to celebrate, we’re doing the girl friend tag. Lets get started.”

I looked at him, “What’s my favorite movie?” He laughed, “Tangled. I mean, you only made me watch it about a hundred times” I pushed him over, “You loved it!” He looked toward the camera and whispered, “Okay maybe.”  Looking towards me, “How many kids do I want?” “Easy, three,” I answered.

We asked each other a few more questions such as what is my favorite sports team and what Nash’s favorite tv show was. I had the last question and I decided to make it harder, “When and where did we meet?” Nash smiled looking down at the ground, making him look like a little kid again. He looked at me, then at the camera, “Well, we were about three years old. She moved a couple houses down from me and my parents decided to have a welcoming party. I remember her being in that pink dress with watermelon all over it coming up to me, asking me if I wanted to see something cool. I said yes and she brought me over to her tree house. At first I thought the cool part was the tree house, but then she slid a box over to me. It turned out to be a box of worms." 

I put my face in my hands laughing, "How do you remember that!” He laughed too, “How could you forget about the worms?” I could feel my face turning red so I just leaned my head on his shoulder. As he was going on talking about whats coming up next week, I saw a can by us. I picked it up playing with it, pressing the top. Silly string went all over Nash’s face. I opened my mouth in shock and we both started laughing. All of a sudden, the door swings open and Cam comes in, “I heard silly string!” and he sprayed us. I grabbed the can next to me and started spraying back while Nash got closer to the camera, “Stay tuned for next week and don’t forget to follow me and Dakota on twitter, our links are in the description box.” He turned off the camera, grabbed a can, and joined in. 

Silly string was in our hair, clothes, and just everywhere. Soon our cans ran out leaving us laughing hysterically. Cameron spoke up, “Oh yeah, I’m Cameron by the way,” as if I didn’t already know who he was. I smiled, “I’m Dakota.” He laughed, “I know. Im going to go get cleaned up, nice meeting you.”

I looked over at Nash, “Im surprised you knew all the answers.” He shrugged, “I guess some people really don’t change.” I smiled grabbing my stuff, “I’ll see you around.”

I walked down stairs about to go out the door when Chad came over, “Come back again soon, I miss having you around.” Being half truthful I said, “I’ve missed being around.” He hugged me again, “Tell your father I said hi.” I turned cold and emotionless, they didn’t know. I faked a smile, “Will do.” I walked out the door trying to hold in all the tears, but when I got home I let it all out. Checking my phone, I had 20+ notifications, Nash must have posted the video. I scrolled through the comments finding myself reading all of them.

“How did she ever get Nash?”, “What does Nash even see in her?”,“She’s not pretty enough to be with him.” My tears turned into silent sobs, what was I getting myself into. I looked up at the ceiling thinking about everything, “I wish you were here dad, I miss you,” and quickly after, I fell asleep

A/N: sucky but the next part is going to be really good

The other night, I asked my mother if she could sing me to sleep because I can’t find any direction that will lead me to dreamland. She looked at me, patted my head and said, “Try counting sheep”. I told her I have been counting flocks of sheep ever since I was a kid but it never really made me drowsy then she told me, “Try walking so you could shush your thoughts”. And so I did; I walked down the memory lane and it broke me. I badly want to ask you why your hands became greasy on my hold; why in my lowest point, you chose to be weak, too. But I can’t blame you. Ever since you locked each door of possibility for the both of us, I took a journey to look for the keys. Now, I’ve grown exasperated of finding something you don’t want me to find. I’m done with it.

I blamed myself every single night; sobbing silently, biting my lips to prevent every stifled moan of pain that will cross my mouth. My mother never really heard my call for help. She thinks every smile that passes on my mouth is real. Sometimes, I want to run to her whenever my demons are consuming me but then I don’t want her to worry herself. Every single time, I tell myself, “It’ll pass.”

Tonight, memories of us flooded me again and I can’t sleep. I don’t know what remedy is the best for this fleeting insomnia you left me but right now, I am here; lying on the roof, counting the stars and blaming them for I am too tired of blaming myself.

Today i was in the grocery store and “carry on my wayward son” came on the store radio. I began to cry silently to myself, trying not to break into sobs. Suddenly a woman, approximately 80 years in age, came up beside me, squeezed my arm and said….“Its OK dear. This song always gets me. I love Sam and Dean too.”

Camping with Cameron Dallas (Pt 2)

my heart. oh my gosh. it felt happy. Cam had kissed me. I kissed him . We kissed! I waited for this moment for so long! Me and Cam walked back to the other boys proudly swinging our intertwined hands together.

The boys stared at us in confusion.

“What the fuck are you guys looking at?” i said. “Nothing. Carter owes me $20.” Taylor said laughing and carter groaned. “Uh..why?” i said “Cause Carter said y’all werent gonn’ end up together but i said y’all would. so i won.” Taylor said snatching the money from Carters hand.

I just laughed and leaned my head on cams shoulder.

i woke up the next morning in the tent in cams arm.

i quietly walked out not waking him up. i woke the other boys up telling them to be quiet cause i was going to scare cam and i wanted them to record it.

We all circled around cam’s tent and they all counted to 3.

“CAM! HELP! CAMMM!” i said before i screamed dramatically.

Cam ran out of the tent and tripped on a log one of the boys have put there. We all laughed and fell to the ground.

“Oh my gosh! cam baby are you okay?!” i said laughing really hard. “Ugh. you’re an idiot.” he said standing up. “But you’re dating me so too bad for you!” i said before kissing him.

__ night time __

we were all talking and taylor asked cam a question that i really wish cam didnt answer.

“Hey cam, what is a turn off for you?” Taylor asked. “Uhmm… OH! its a turn off when a girl is depressed and she harms herself and stuff! like their literally on earth for a reason, but why cant the notice the ones that love them? its such a turn off.” cam said.

suddenly , i lost myself. i stared blankly into the fire.

“Babe.. you alright?” cam asked. “huh? y-yeah. im fine. im going to go for a walk…i’ll be back in a minute.” i said rubbing my eyes from the tears that hadn’t shed. i stood up and walked to the tree where me and cam kissed.

my heart ached. my eyes began to flow a river of tears. i fell on my knees and i pulled up my sweater and looked at the slits on my wrists, and i cried even more. I felt numb. i liked Cam so much, but if he ever found out about my cuts, he wont like me anymore.

“y/n….?” a familiar voice said..i knew it was cam.

i quickly pulled my sleeve down and wiped away my tears. he sat next to me and we sat in silence. until i started to think about what cam said again. then i silently sobbed to myself. i let my tears fall down my cheeks. and i wiped them away.

“give me your hand.” cam said softly.

he intertwined our hands and slickly pulled my sleeve up. he dropped my arm. which made me cry out loud.

-so what happens? find out! ill be posting part 3 tomorrow or thurs!-