so... what is everybody calling this

Jay-Z, captured listening to Beyoncé giving him a toast on his 37th birthday on December 4, 2006. A year later he would propose to her during his birthday trip to Paris.

“Well, I don’t know where to start… First of all, thanks everybody for coming. A lot of you guys just got the call the other day, and I know y’all had to drop a lot of things just to come. And this wouldn’t be anything without everybody here. And y’all are here because you’re special to Jay; therefore you’re special to me. Everybody he loves, I love… [pauses] This is nothing compared to what you’ve done for me. Not only me, but for everybody here. You’ve taught me so many things. I was 20 years old when we first started dating. You taught me how to be a woman. You taught me how to live. You taught me how to be a friend. You give me so much in life. And this is not enough. It’s not enough that I can do. I just want you to be happy. Every year I am even more in love with you. And I want to spend every day of my life with you. Happy Birthday. And I thank God for you everyday.”

1. The last time you made the mistake of making a home out of a pair of arms and a soft smile, you learned the hard way that anything that moves, that can blame, that can cause ache does not deserve such an elevated status in your heart. Still, you are an anomaly, a wild thing hoping for a home. A sailor wishing to leave the ocean and return.

2. I still remember a day when your father had lifted you in his arms and told you that you are loved, more than you ever know. It was two days before the plane crash that took him. It was two days before I saw death dance in your broken eyes for the first time. I don’t think it ever stopped dancing there.

3. Yesterday, someone asked you, “who do you trust most in the world?” And you felt that your lips were sewn shut. Everybody you should love and trusts’ names felt rough and raw on your tongue like they were in a foreign language that you had become too ancient to learn. So instead you whispered your own name like a secret into the abyss and hoped no one saw the sadness that had crawled it’s way along with your name out of your mouth.

4. A summer ago, you asked me what it was like to not need a place to call home. I know you asked this from a place of trauma, that your trauma has convinced you it will all be okay once you find a home. But it is lying, because what you need up find is your healing. And I told you that wanderlust had etched itself so ornately into my bones that I had no choice but to travel till it had sated itself. You looked at me with envy, even as I thought of all the people who would love to make a home of your heartbeat. You however were looking for a certain kind of love that you would call your very own. A kind of love that would never abandon you the way everyone you have ever loved has.

5. Something about you glowed bigger and better than all the stars we gazed at in the night sky. And even then, even when you had everything, you longed for a human to belong in. But everytime you laid the foundations for something good, they came crashing and tumbling down on your head. Because your trauma is a perfectionist and no one could quite become what you needed and wanted at the same time.

6. I wish I had told you then what I told you in that very last letter before I left. That child, why did no one ever teach you that you cannot turn people into homes? People are rivers, ever changing, ever flowing. They will disappear with everything you put inside them. Still, that home you are hunting for does have a heartbeat. But it isn’t one locked in anyone else’s chest. Just look inside your own.

—  Nikita Gill, People Aren’t Homes
  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."

negativity is addictive. i try to remind myself of this, because i feel like i belong in it, drowning in it. i can’t be surprised about bad things if i am the bad thing. it was easier half the time. i didn’t have the energy. forcing positivity felt like just another weight to me. nothing in me felt good, so why should i pretend i’m happy? it was funnier anyway. everybody laughed when i said “i’m dying.” everybody laughed when i said “if i talk about it i’ll just start crying.” 

it’s easier to say “i won’t get it” than hope for something. i spiral out of control when i lose hope. it’s easier to not get close to people because if you assume they’re not your friend, they won’t be. it’s easier to call my own work terrible than to wonder what other people think of me.

the problem is it piles up. i didn’t bother with the application because i’m not worth it. nothing good happens on this earth to me. i didn’t text her, she only said she liked me because she doesn’t really know me. i don’t care and i don’t care and i don’t care. what else do you want from me. i’m dead inside already.

“don’t be so negative,” she says to me. 

“okay, i’m positive this will go badly.”

cue laughter. cue smiling.

CLYDE: So, as you may know, I kinda didn’t post much about the sleep over last night.

CLYDE: It got kinda crazy. But then not as crazy and we got like pizza and stuff and it was awesome.

CLYDE: But, the part that was crazy was all really, really crazy.

CLYDE: So basically, everybody agreed to prank Craig cause it was a fucking hilarious idea and everybody knew it. So Jimmy, Timmy, and I urged him downstairs while Tweek and Token were gonna help scare him downstairs.

CLYDE: When we all got down there, we all had spooky ghost costumes on and he at least blinked a little bit so I call that an accomplishment.

CLYDE: But then????? Like??? Tweek wasn’t there for some reason????????

CLYDE: And everybody was confused?????????????? Especially me??????????????????????????????????????????????????

CLYDE: And so we went looking for him and…

CLYDE: Craig, I guess, found him. But…

CRAIG: Oh Tweek, are you in this closet that nobody has bothered to look in yet?

CRAIG: If you are, don’t say anything and I’ll open it up and find you, hiding inside.

CRAIG: OH MY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. TWEEK’S RIGHT IN HERE, IN THIS CLOSET. TWEEK, WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN–

CRAIG: whoa–

CLYDE: :O

TOKEN: :O

CLYDE:

CLYDE: Should.

CLYDE: Should we open it–

CRAIG: Ah! Oh no!

CRAIG: I’ve been brutally murdered by my beloved boyfriend, Tweek.

CRAIG: Why, Tweek?

CRAIG: What have I done to deserve this?

CRAIG: I’m dead now, covered in blood.

CRAIG: blehgfhfgfh

CLYDE: Wh

CLYDE: What the.

TOKEN: Is he… actually dead?

CLYDE: I don’t know…

CLYDE: He’s got his tongue out and his eyes closed, he’s gotta be!

TOKEN: Oh my god– Tweek?!

TWEEK: Oh– oH GOd oh GOD OH GOD–

TWEEK: WHAT DID I DO?!

TOKEN: How is there so much blood!

TWEEK: CRAIG, I’M SO SORRY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME!

TWEEK: OH J-JESUS CHRIST…

CLYDE: DUDE YOU’RE GONNA GO TO HECKIN JAIL YOU DON’T JUST KILL YOUR OWN BOYFRI hey wait is that ketchup?

TOKEN: …It does kinda smell like tomatoes in here, dude.

CLYDE: Yeah I thought blood smelled more like… like pennies or something?

TOKEN: Yeah, ‘cause blood has iron.

CLYDE: Bro you’re so smart.

CRAIG: You know, I’m supposed to be dead here. I’d hate to see you guys at my funeral if this is how you’d act.

CLYDE: Tch… TCH…

CLYDE: Turns out they just pulled a prank on US.

CLYDE: Tweek knew that WE were gonna pull a prank on CRAIG, but him and Craig already planned to prank all of us!

CLYDE: It didn’t even work on Jimmy and Timmy because they couldn’t get up the stairs!

CLYDE: And before any of you ask, I was so totally not scared by it.

CLYDE: I basically unshat myself. There was shit ALREADY in my pants, and it went up into my ass because I was just that not scared.

CLYDE:

CLYDE: Anyways, none of us saw that coming, so I guess that was funny.

Do you ever think about how wild the public perception of victuuri must be??

Like ok. Characters first.

Victor Nikiforov, who is considered to be this flirty playboy. He’s the perfect skater; elegant, refined, amazing jumps, spins, step sequences. He has it all, and he’s won it all. I bet you everybody thought Victor and Chris were fuckin or something b/c they’re obviously friends and you know what the media is like. 

Victor is such a private person; he’s really skilled in telling you everything while saying nothing. He’s got incredible press skills. I bet the media must be starving for another side of Victor–his love life most specifically. The playboy thing is most likely an exaggeration tabloids put together, and it sorta just caught on. All these reports of Victor being seen with so and so must mean he’s seeing them, right?

Victor has been called selfish before. It’s probably a very common belief that he’s quiet and serious and really only cares about himself and the ice. This cannot be further from the truth, but it’s how people see him. An immaculate god.

Then, Yuuri Katsuki. He’s sort of reclusive and doesn’t interact much. There’s not much on any of his social media accounts; the opposite of Victor. While Victor delivers constant content, Yuuri hides away. He avoids people, doesn’t really interact with fans, and seemingly snubs other competitors. 

People think he’s arrogant. Yuuri looks away from others like they’re not worth his time, which is totally uncalled for considering he can’t land his jumps, right? Yuuri’s spins and footwork are amazing, but he always falters technically. He gets a lot of flack from the press and the public for this; they say he’s mentally weak, he’s a mediocre skater at best, he should just stop trying. At times, Yuuri even believes them.

The beloved, sexy ice god versus the shy, weak underdog. 

Keep reading

docs.google.com
A note from the Indivisible Team
A note for all of us who feel defeated after Sessions from the Indivisible Team: This is the long game.

A note for all of us who feel defeated after Sessions from the Indivisible Team: This is the long game. We are going to lose a lot. We are going to get good at losing. We are going to lose cabinet votes for terrible nominees. We are going to lose bills that are offensive and appalling. But while we are losing, something else is going to happen. We are going to keep raising our voices and slowly our representatives are going to start listening to us. We’ve seen it happen. 


It won’t happen because of next week’s call to action. It’ll happen over months, where you keep showing up, regularly. Then, we are going to start winning. It’ll sneak up on us. We won’t understand why we are winning. But it starts with losing in a particular way- where we raise our voices and call it out when we aren’t listened to, where we get close but not quite there.

The first 100 days of a President’s term are the honeymoon period, the moment when he’s most likely to get his agenda enacted. Trump is spending his first 100 days mired in controversy, scandal, and backbiting - and that’s because you haven’t for a moment let anyone in Washington forget just how unpopular he is.

Every time we change the narrative, every time we delay, every time there’s a newspaper story about a member of Congress avoiding his or her constituents, that’s a win. And it matters.

You have already made history. You’ve delayed the confirmation of Trump’s cabinet picks longer than any time in recent history. You stopped the gutting on the congressional ethics office. You’ve made Republicans so nervous about the repeal of the Affordable Care Act that it’s been pushed further and further down the road. You caused an uproar of historic proportions over Trump’s Muslim ban and saved lives and reunited families in the process. You’ve inspired people who have never before taken action to make their voices heard and learn how to do things like check how their members of Congress voted and call them out for it.

We’ll never even know about some of the victories - because those will be the fights that this Administration considered starting and then realized it couldn’t win.

We’re in this together. Every visit. Every call. Every loss. Every win. That’s just what friends do. #StandIndivisible

In solidarity,

The Indivisible Team

If you ever want someone's attention, send them this-

It’s summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “Yo, I know about music.” and Patrick’s like “Yo, I know more about music” “That’s impossible. Do you wanna start a band?” And Patrick’s like “…Yeah… That’s cool.” And then he’s like “Yo, this is a book store, it’s not a music store!”

And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there, for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And there like “Oh, let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones! Pete said to Joe “Yo, we gotta change this shit up! Yo we’ve played all these bands; let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer! And he’s like “Yo! I got a soul voice!” And there like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he’s like “Yo watch this! Yeah!” and they’re like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!”

And then they’re like “Yo, this is fuckin’ perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. its called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. Its called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and its real and it doesn’t matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo, what the fuck! Yo this is gonna be fuckin’ dope!” So they made a record, and it was called take this to your grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like… Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto… The fourth one was like the guy from papa roach or something. And they were like, “yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. Fuckin’ record it.” And he did it, and he killed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!

“We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. ‘Cause these guys know what the fuck is going on.” And they were like “Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin’ hard. We will sign you guys.” Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that’s fuckin’ dope dude! It’s called Take This To Your Grave.“ Hey, its gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, its gonna be fuckin’ huge. And then Patrick’s like “I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called… This is called Thanks for the Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar We’re Going Down..” And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts.

Like one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “That’s good!” Pete was like “Yo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “Yeah, it’s cool man, whatever… I don’t give a shit.” And then Andy was like “Eh… Cool!” And Pete was like “Makeup is fuckin’ great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful.”

Pete was like “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like “Eh, it’s not bad. It’s not a bad dick. Let’s be real.” Panic! At The Disco made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after Panic! And they were so pissed! They were like “Yo, fuck you guys!” They were like “Yo! Panic has the cover of Rolling Stone!?! Yo, fuck these dudes, were gonna go fucking miles above! We’re gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!” But they didn’t! Because they missed a second of time, apparently. They were like “Oh, shit we got every continent.” And they didn’t actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like “What the fuck!” oh you didn’t fuckin’ make the continent. It’s like, fuck you!

So From Under The Cork Tree happens, we fuckin’ have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves it’s so big! So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick’s like “Yo, we’re gonna name this record ‘From Under The Cork Tree’ and From Infinity In High.” Pete was like “Yo, folie a deux means, the theatric of two.” Fall Out Boy was like “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick’s like, “Y need time for my music! Yeah!” And Joe’s like “Yo, I need time to find the fuckin’ art dude I gotta find some fuckin’ meau-metal.” And Andy’s like “I’m just gonna play with some fuckin’ metal bands.”

And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half. We gotta fuckin’ come back man. We gotta come back STRONG! We gotta make this shit legit. It’s gonna be fuckin dope. It’s gonna go fuckin sky high. We’re gonna make a fuckin’ record that sails the skies. We’re gonna call this record… Save Rock And Roll.” So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everyone’s like “What the fuck? You’re working with this guy who fuckin’ recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” Pete was like “Yo, were gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.” And that’s all. And that’s all that matters. And that’s how the fucking story goes.

me: i really need to sleep

my brain: there’s a place where we don’t have to feel unknown oh my god everybody needs to see this and every time that you call out you’re a little less alone i can’t stop watching this video seventeen years old if you only say the woooooord take five minutes this will make your day FROM ACROSS THE SILENCE YOUR VOICE IS HEEAARD OOOOOOOH share it with the people you love, repost the world needs to hear this a beautiful tribute OOOOOOOOH i know someone who really needed to hear this today so thank you evan hansen for doing what you’re doing OOOOOOOH i never met connor but coming up here reading everyone’s post someone will come runnning it’s so easy to feel alone that ooooooohhh evan is exactly right ohhhhhhh we’re not alone oooooooh none of us none of us none of us are alone like especially now oooooh with everything you hear in the news someone will come running like share repost thank you evan hansen for giving us a space to remember connor oooohhh someone will come running to find each other thank you evan hansen OOOOOHHH thank you evan hansen take you hoooooome OHHHHH OOOOOOH thank you evan hansen OOOOOOOOOH EVEN WHEN THE DARK COMES CRASHING THROUGH WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND TO CARRY YOU WHEN YOU’RE BROKEN ON THE GROUND YOU WILL BE FOUND

Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♪♫ beautiful ♫♪.
In the year negative a billion, Japan might not have been here. In the year negative forty thousand, it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island, and now there’s lots of ♫ trees ♫. Because it’s warmer.
So now there’s people on the island; they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls.
Ding dong, it’s the outside world, and they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and ♪ crazy rice farms ♪. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, then you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survvvvive. So that makes you king.
Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread all across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here (Hi), here (Chikushi), here (Izumo), here (Kibi), here (Yamato), here (Koshi), and here (Kenu). But this one (Yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly superperson, or emperor for short.
Knock knock, get the door, it’s religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion 🎺🎺🎺 (Buddhism) from Baekje.
“Please try this religion,” he said.
“No,” said everybody.
“Try iiiiit,” he said.
“no,” said everybody again, quieter this time.
And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it.
Then, the government was taken over by another clique (Taika). And they made some reforms , like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China’s government, which is a government that governs more.
“Hi China,” they said.
“Hi dipshit (wa, dwarf),” said China.
“Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?” said Japan.
“Like what?” said China.
♫♪"How about sunrise laaand?“♪♫ said Japan.
And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. About themselves! And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.
Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while, right here (Kyoto, Heian Palace). And they conquered the north finally, get that squared away.
A rich hipster named Kūkai is bored with modern Buddhism and visits China, learns a better version which is more ♫♪ spiritual ♪♫, comes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be ♫♪ great ♪♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dreamworld of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country.
So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit, from criminals? ♫♪ Hire a samurai. ♪♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful, more powerful than the government. So they made their own military government, right here. They let the emperor still be emperor, but the shogun was actually in control.
Breaking news, the Mongols have invaded China.
"W̛e҉’ve i͟nv̕aded ̵Chi͠na̸,” said the Mongols, “Pl͘e̶a̷se̵ ͝res͢p̛ȩc̷t u͢s҉,͜ or͜ el̕se w͞e ͟m̛igh͟t ͠i͝nvade͡ ̕y͜o̕u̕ ͡a͡s̕ ̡well̀.̢”
“Okay,” said Japan.
So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornadotyphoon. But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornadotyphoon.
Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moves to Kyoto, and makes a new shogunate. And the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine.
♫♪ Now there’s more art. ♪♫
Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers.
It’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun. Usually it’s the shogun’s kid, but the shogun doesn’t have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay. But then the shogun has a kid. So now who’s it gonna be? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn’t care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game.
Knock knock, it’s Europe. No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks, and guns, and ♫♪ Jesus ♪♫. So that’s cool. But everyone’s still fighting each other for control. Now with guns! And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them? This clan (Imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (Oda) which is in the way. Surprise, smaller clan wins! And the leader of that clan (Oda Nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. And it goes very well.
He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him (Toyotomi Hideyoshi) kills them, and that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords. And he made some rules.
“Ąnd͟ n͟ow I'̛m̶ goińg̡ to ͘inva͞d̨e ͝Kor͟e͡a,̵ an͝d͢ ̶the̴n h͜op̷ef̕ull͏y ̵Chin͢a̛,” he said, and failed, and also died.
But before he died, he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said yeah right, it’s not gonna be this kid, it’s gonna be one of us. ‘Cause we’re grownups. And it’s probably gonna be this guy (Tokugawa Ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others.
A lot of people support him, but a lot of people (Ishida Mitsunari) support not supporting him. They have a fight, and he wins. And starts a new government, right here. ♫♪ Edo ♫♪ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this (Tokugawa family) is the new government. And they are very strict, so strict they close the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (Dejima).
Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published. There was poetry (haiku), plays (kabuki), sexytimes, puppet shows (bunraku), and Dutch studies. People started to study European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity.
Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow do-
*impending doom music*
Knock knock. It’s the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats.
“O͜pe͡ņ,̨ t͡he͏ ͘c̷o̷ưntry. ͠S̛t͜o̡p̛,̵ ҉ha͠v̀in͜g̷ i͝t̀ ͝be̴ ́clo͞sed.̢” said the United States.
*music ends*
There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan anytime they want.
Chōshu and Satsuma hated this. “That sucks!” they said. “This sucks!!!”
And with almost very little outside help, (from Britain) they overthrew the shogunate. And somehow made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed eastern capital (Tokyo). They made a new government, which was a lot more Western. And they made a new constitution, which was.. pretty Western. And a military that was… pretty Western (large).
And do you know what else is Western? That’s right, it’s conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquer Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further (Liaodong Peninsula).
And Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, “Stop no you can’t do that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shitton of soldiers. Then, when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuckton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade.
And Japan says, “Can you maybe chill?”
And Russia says, “How 'bout maybe you chill?”
Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You’ll never guess who's alsokind of scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, but just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop.
♫♪ It’s time for World War I ♪♫
The world is about to have a war. Because it’s the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m̵͡͝͝o͏̨̨̢͢o͏͏̵̧̕ơ̢̢͜͜o͠͏͢ó͘o̶̢̧ó̷͝͠o͝͡o̧͘r̨̢̕ȩ̸ and the next thing on their list is this part of China (Qingdao) and lots of tiny islands.
All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, who was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France was friends with Russia who was getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass. Err, actually, he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan. So you know what that means, duhhh.
♫♪ Japan should take the islands. ♪♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they sort of called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know, and then they did it! And they also helped Britain here and there with some errands and stuff. *bell rings*
Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan, you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (Paris Peace Conference), with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. And you also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫♪ the League of Nations ♪♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world.
The Great Depression is bad, and Japan’s economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria. And the League of Nations is like ♪"No don’t do that if you’re in the League of Nations you’re not supposed to try to take over the world.“♪
And Japan said, ♫♪ How bout I do, anyway? ♪♫ And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.
You’ve got mail.
It’s from Germany, the new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common.
♫♪ It’s time for World War II ♪♫
Germany is invading the neighbors, then they invade the neighbors’ neighbors, then, the neighbor’s neighbors’ neighbors, who happen to be Britain, said "Holy shiiit” and the United States started helping Britain because they are ♫♪ good friends ♪♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫♪" Their friends and our friends are not friends. Plus they’re planning on invaaading the entire ocean.“♪♫
The United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb. Bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case (Germany). But they still haven’t joined the war, war looks bad on TV, and the United States is really starting to care about their image.
But then Japan spits on them, in Hawai'i, and challenges them to war. And they say yes! And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also chase Japan back into Japan. And they haven’t used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on Japan.
They actually drop two.
(You win.)
The United States installed a new government, inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for a ♫♪ post-war economic miracle ♪♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. But then the miracle wears off, but everything’s still pretty cool I guess. ♪♫ Bye. ♫♪

dutch gothic:

It’s Christmas. you put on the radio. you here a song about a boy murdering his father to avenge his animal companion. you happily sing along.

The rare natural phenomenon called ‘your favorite artist plays in Amsterdam’ occurs every 100 years. if you miss it once, you will never have another chance.

Youre going to your friends. Youre both excited and terrified, because youll have to take public transport on a sunday now.

It’s 4 am. the nightlife gathers at the Food Wall to sacrifice coins for Mystery Meat.

You bike somewhere in fall, in the morning. Theres slugs on the bike path. Theres slugs on your bike. Theres slugs in your dreams.

Once a year all children go out for a walk, the destination irrelevant. there are sweets and talks of football. they keep walking. they receive a medal.

You love telling your friends about your national snacks, kroketten. You are afraid of telling your friends just whats in them. You are afraid you will one day find out.

Its raining, you get your umbrella and go outside, its sunny.

You hear someone screaming out a song about drugs. You know this song. Your mom knows this song. Your grandma knows this song. Your guardian angel knows th

It’s been raining for six days straight. You don’t remember what the sun looks like.

It’s an autumn eveving, children are carrying lights around on the streets while chanting songs. You give them candy and hope they leave.

You live in the dutch outback. The smell of onions is overwhelming.

You want a game,it came out in japan a week ago, and today it launched in america. You pray it comes out in less than a year

You live belowe the sea, knowing evry day may be your last as you watch the dykes.

you turn on the tv, there is a commercial about cheese, people are naked, Doutzen Kroes smiles at you, there is only cheese, Old Amsterdam.

It is time for the annual family gathering. your aunt kisses your cheek, you have to kiss her back, she kisses your other cheek, you have to kiss her back, she kisses your other cheek, you have to kiss her back, she kisses your other cheek, you have to kiss her back, she kisses your other cheek, you have to kiss her bac

you live on land that was not there not too long ago. you’re living on fake land. it’s not supposed to be there. you’re not supposed to be there. why must we taunt mother nature like this. why do we challenge poseidon.

You hear a loud song about going fast. Youve known this song your entire life. You dont know why or by who it was made.

You cycle to school. you park your bicycle in the bicycle stands.  you look around and see only the bicycles. the bicycle parking place is bigger than your school.

You go to a foreign restaurant trying to escape from your own culture. you aske for the bill, a young girl brings it to you, smiling. there, next to the receit is the former queen, always watching. you cannot escape.

The school takes away the children, the parents wave as they go. at the end of the day the bus returns. the children are gone. the teacher cries.

It’s summer, you watch tv, people in funny clothes launch themselves into the water, they try to ring the bel. they never succeed.

You turn on the tv. There is a dutch movie on. People are naked. This is normal.

you don’t have a funny accent. your friend tells you you do. your friend has a funny accent. you tell your friend. they tell you they don’t have a funny accent, you do. you don’t have a funny accent, your friend does.

you make pancakes. you eat the pancakes for dinner. you eat more of those pancakes for breakfast the next morning. you bring the pancakes for lunch. you eat more leftover pancakes for dinner. you eat those leftovers for breakfast. you bring the pancakes for lu

People call your country Holland. You know this is not the right name but it’s been so long you don’t remember what it should be. The other 10 provinces have ceased to exist. There is only Holland now

Three women make a song about a foursome. every 6yo child knows the lyrics, they shaped a generation.

its 4 pm. you have a sudden MIGHTY urge to get a cup of soup. everybody gets a mighty urge to get cup of soup. 4 hours cup of soup.

(Feel free to add more)

A big thank you to everyone in the @whateversexuals

The History of the RFA

*I was gonna put a keep reading but decided against it. I stop where I did because the events go differently depending on the route you take. Should I do one for each route???*

*Inspired by “The History of the World, i guess” and “The History of Japan.” Just imagine that voice reading this or it’s not gonna be as good.*

Hi, hello there, here you are. 

You’re at an apartment. But whose apartment is it? We’ll get to that later.

Knock knock, here’s a blonde girl. Who is that?

She thinks “wow I really like photography, I’m gonna go to a gallery” So she goes to a gallery.
Then she meets this guy 

Yeah that guy.
But who is that guy?

He’s a photographer and he likes her hair. So he says “wow, I really like your hair, what’s your name?”

so Rika says “Oh thanks, I like yours too, it’s a weird shade of blue. My name is Rika”

and V says “Oh wow is that you’re real name? We’re Korean, that doesn’t sound like a very Korean name unless one of your parents is foreign or maybe they just wanted to name you something foreign, y’know?” 

and so Rika says 

and V doesn’t say anything else.

Oh look now they’re dating! They’re religious people who like church. One day they’re at church.
Oh hey who’s that cherry-headed kid over there scavenging for food? 
“Oh shit,” V says, “That looks like someone who could really use our help”
Then he says:

and then the little cherry kid said

Then he says “Oh but my name is Saeyoung”

“Yes,” V whispers under his breath, “Our first great act of kindness”
So V and Rika see this kid at the church all the time after mass and bring bread for him. Yay bread.
Turns out Saeyoung’s twin brother, whose name is Saeran, is the weaker one. 

Yeah that one.
His dad’s in some deep political shit and his mom’s blackmailing his dad because his dad won’t tell the people voting for him about the kids he has so the mom threatens to tell the world if he doesn’t give her money and all she does is spend that money on alcohol

“Wow that really sucks,” V says, and comes back a few weeks later with an offering. “Hey I have an idea. How about we take you and give you a new life. You and your computer skills can get you a rad job and then we’ll take care of your brother for you. The catch is that you have to abandon him and become a completely new person.”

“Woah,” Saeyoung says. “I can’t do that, are you crazy”

“No,” V says,

“No,” Saeyoung says.

“But you should,” V says, “It’s best for him.”

“Are you sure,” Saeyoung says.

“Totally,” V says. “You just met me. Trust me though, it’s gonna go smooth.”

So Saeyoung says yes and they take him in where he’s

, converted to catholic and given the cool name “Luciel”
It’s got something to do with not wanting to be a fallen angel but let’s forget about him right now.

A few years later. Surprise! V and Rika wanna start a group together. What are they gonna do in the group?

“But wait” says Rika

“What is it?” says V

“What are we gonna call this group?” 

They have to think of something clever. Something super smart but also obvious so everybody knows their intentions. So they decide to call it

“But wait,” Rika says again, “We can’t just do this by ourselves. We need more people. I have a cousin”

“I have a childhood friend who talks to only me because other people don’t understand our rich lifestyle,” says V

“Oh hold on,” says Rika, “there’s another guy who’s really good at acting and had a pretty shitty childhood, we gotta invite him too”

“That’s pretty dank,” says V, “And my friend that I mentioned previously has an assistant that he can invite.”

“Wait, what about that kid from earlier?” says V.

They hold parties and make money that they donate and everything’s fine. Let’s go forward a little.

Knock knock. 

Who is it now??

Rika’s been struck by mental illness that’s causing her to have delusions. Well this isn’t good.

“I’ll help,” says V
So he takes her to a therapist. But she doesn’t wanna go to the therapist so she stops going to that therapist. Not that she goes to another one. She doesn’t go to a therapist at all.

“I wanna make a cult,” Rika says, “it’ll be totally chill. like a paradise, let’s do it”

“Woah,” V says, “You can’t just make a cult”

“Hey, that’s bullshit,” Rika says, “You can’t tell me what to do”
Then she jabs him in the eyes. Well, we don’t know if she jabbed him in the eyes yet. What she did to his eyes is unclear for now.

Oh no, V’s vision is deteriorating slowly over time. Now Rika’s run off to start her cult.

“Shit,” V says, “I can’t tell the RFA about this, what the hell do I do? Oh wait, I know:”

Woah. Now everyone’s heartbroken and there’s a funeral held for her. In fact, everyone’s so heartbroken that they stop holding charity parties for like two years.
Also Rika’s cousin really hates V for some reason.

Fast forward.
Ding ding. You just got a text. 

Now you’re inside a stranger’s apartment. Surprise again! Your phone suddenly opens up a random chatroom with five people talking about random stuff in their life.

Hey but wait, who are you?

Now they think you’re a hacker and you have to explain what happened and how you ended up in the apartment. You don’t know who this “Rika” or who this “V” is that they keep mentioning but whatever it probably isn’t important.

So you tell them, and they realize you can’t leave because something’s clearly weird, right? So now they’re faced with a dilemma 

AU Where Geoff Slowly But Surely Becomes Dad Of The Crew

Like It Starts One Day When He Gets Michael A New Gun Or Car Or Something And Without Thinking Michael’s Like “Oh Sweet Thanks Dad”
And Geoff’s Just “What
So Michael Just “What” And Immediately Leaves To Escape The Situation.

And At First He Doesn’t Think Much Of It, Just A Flub Like They All Do, Nothing Worth Noting, Until Gavin Calls Him Dad One Day And He Just Stops Like “What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me?
“Dad!”
“I’m Not Your Father Dumbass”
“Aw But Michael Got To Call You Dad That’s Not Fair! You Can’t Have Favourites!”
And Michael Runs In From The Other Room Like “You Little PRICK” And Chases Gavin Off For Pointing It Out And Geoff’s Just Left Standing There Confused.

The Next Time Gavin Tries To Get Away With Calling Him Dad It’s Over Earpieces During A Heist And Geoff Quietly Hisses “Fucking Stop Calling Me That” And After A Moment Of Gavin Giggling Ray Comes On Like “So Can I Call You Papa Instead Or…?” And Geoff Nearly Blows Their Cover Loudly Insisting That He Cannot.

A While After Jeremy Joins He And Geoff Are Driving To Get Masks For A Heist And Laughing About Something, As They Approach The Mask Store Geoff’s Like “Alright, Everybody Calm Down” And Jeremy’s Just Immediately “Sorry Dad”. And At First Geoff’s Just Dumbfounded For A Second But Then He’s Like “Fucking- Did Gavin Tell You To Call Me That?” And Jeremy’s Just “What? No, Wait Gavin Calls You Dad?” And Geoff’s Like “No He-” And Ray Pipes Up From The Backseat “I’ve Been Using Pop Pop Is That Better?” And Geoff’s Like “No I’m Not Your Fucking Father!!”.

The Lads Are Caught Messing Around On His Yacht Again (Probably With Rocket Launchers, Thanks Ryan) And He Turns To Jack Like “You Said You Were Watching Them, Can’t You Keep Them Under Control For Five Minutes??” And Jack Just Crosses Her Arms Like “They’re Your Kids Too Y’know!” And Geoff’s Just “I- THEY’RE NOT MY KIDS”. When They Finally Get The Lads Reeled In Again Geoff’s So Frustrated He Just Points Them To The Penthouse And Deadpans “Go To Your Rooms.”.

Afterwards He Flops Down On The Couch With A Bottle Of Whisky To Unwind And Notices Ryan Out Of The Corner Of His Eye, Sitting On The Other End Of The Couch And Grinning At Him.

“…What”
“Daddy”
“You’re Fucking Fired”

I have several problems with the concept of privilege. I actually surprised some audiences when I say that I don’t actually accept the discourse of white privilege. I actually offer a different discourse, and let me explain why.

Firstly, look at the things that are called privileges. The things that are called privileges are actually rights to things such as healthcare, being treated fairly if you’re pulled over by a police officer, being treated fairly in a criminal justice system, to have access to employment, housing. As you go down the list, you begin to realize, it’s something weird about calling privileges something that every human being would like to have on the planet. Neoliberalism wants to call them privileges exactly because neoliberalism wants to take them away from everybody, Black and white. And so if you can get enough people feeling guilty for what they should actually have, then it’s easier to take things away from everybody and give more to those who are wealthy.

The second reason I have a problem with the privilege discourse, it’s a distortion of the concept of privilege. We’ve often heard the expression, for instance, “it’s an honor and a privilege to work with you.” When you hear something like that, the thing about privileges that people often don’t understand, is that privileges are good. It’s a privilege, for instance, to serve if you’re patriotic. It’s privilege to be in the company of people you respect. Privileges are actually good things, so the idea of telling you that you’re supposed to feel bad about good things is, as Fanon would argue, sick.

The third problem with the white privilege discourse is exactly what we’ve seen play out historically. Then it just gave an opportunity for whites to simply talk about their privilege and still not do a damn thing about the system of injustices that are around them and the rest of us. So it bleeds into a form of narcissism, and of course the thing about narcissism is that it puts whites  back into control because they can control their cathartic emotional life in terms of how they respond to to the charge of privilege. But they go home to a system that remains intact.

What I actually argue is a more constructive way to deal with this issue is the concept of license. Now people may say what do you mean? If you think about the basic thing of what a license is, when you get a license, it means whatever you’re doing is protected by law. So what happens is in mundane examples for instance if you have a license to drive a car, and you’re pulled over, it is established that you have the license to drive a car. Whether you’ve done other things while driving the car is another matter. The thing about license is that a license is legitimate right to use a certain power.

So if we think of the most extreme example of how a license works, try to imagine a license to kill. If a person has a license to kill, and in many contexts, many people when they’re designated soldiers or mercenaries have a license to kill within that context. Now let’s just say that you’re born with a license to kill say, all except other people who have a license to kill. If you’re in a framework like that, so long as you’re killing anybody outside of that category, then you don’t have to give a reason for the killing you’ve done, you just have to show a license. If you think about it historically, and I’m using that because it’s the most extreme example, if you look at the history of white supremacy, it’s a history of large communities of white people who can pack a picnic basket, get together, drag predominantly Black men and women, there are other contexts in which large groups of Native populations were wiped out, but the main thing was that they could drag these people, they could eviscerate them, lynch them, and throughout the entire process pose for pictures that are put in newspapers with them committing those acts. So when you think of that example, it means that the legal authorities will not act upon that precisely because the perpetrators, and the license here becomes the designation white.

Now I give you one more example that’s really crucial because of contemporary debates. One of the ways that there has been a form of fascist attack, particularly on Black people and on women, is this phony defense of free speech in a war against political correctness. But they’re not defending free speech and what they call political correctness. Political correctness is a term developed by the American right. It’s a right wing concept just like white privilege was developed by whites. This was a way in which the right wanted to undermine the efficacy of political institutions. But if you look carefully at what they call political correctness, it’s not actually political, it’s moral. In other words, the examples they would use is if people are going to judge certain people as immoral for the things they say. That is very different than politics.

What’s striking if you look for what they’re fighting for, it’s for an assertion of legal apparatuses and structures that will give them not free speech, but licensed speech. In other words, licensed speech is to be able to hurl your words in an action of harm. The way I usually formulate it, free speech doesn’t mean the right to be a schmuck, it’s an adult responsibility in a world that actually expands the capacity of other people in terms of human flourishing. However, the childlike adolescent licensed speech comes down to a thesis: I just wanna do or say what I want. It’s defended to the point where saying or doing what you want can lead in very real ways not just to harm but to the death of others. As we know in the case of Emmett Till for instance, the words of the woman who gave the testimony were used for the lynching of this 14 year old boy. And there are many other examples. If you look at Trump, Trump is not about free speech, he is the manifestation of the adolescent fantasy of many whites to return to a world in which they had the license for liberty without responsibility.

And this comes back to Fanon, because he understood the distinction between liberty and and freedom. As a therapist, a patient would come to him precisely because although the patient may have liberty, if the patient has insufficient control or understanding and her or his own life, and the relationship that person has with the social world, that person’s freedom will be impaired, although there are no formal shackles over her or his hands and feet. This is the crucial thing that is missing from Anglophone discourses around issues of freedom and around the excursion of racism. There is in freedom always a responsibility and a demand for one to take on the task of bearing the burdens but they’re not burdens in the negative sense. they’re burdens in the elective sense, in the good sense or what’s called election in the Bible. There are certain burdens that are a function of responsibility that make us into better human beings.

Dr. Lewis Gordon (x)

An anon asked for Keith in B3 for the Expression Challenge. And I got uh… really inspired? :’D So have a little comic with Lance in A3 and a hug as a bonus, yai. Thanks for your ask, anon, it was really fun making this little comic. u 3u

I have some headcanons about Keith and Lance’s reaction, actually. You can read it under the cut. (It’s so long I’m sorry aha).

[The asks for the Expression Challenge are closed]

Keep reading

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."