Don’t ever let others make you feel bad for being you. If you have treated others unkindly, apologize, and continue being kind to all men. Then, why would you need accusers? It’s your life, so let them go!
Okay so basically my friend did something that got on my nerves and I wanted him to stop and he didn't and I'm that person who stops thinking and acts and I sorta choked him with his jacket and I realized how fucked up that was and wanted to cut myself cause I'm w bad person and they told me it was okay but I feel so toxic
ok, it was more of an aggressive behavior, honestly…
while I am not exactly someone who understand how that works, I think I can help a lil bit…
when you feel like doing that, just punch and free yourself with the closest soft thing you have nearby
Also, look for help to someone who deals with that kind of compulsive behavior (i think its the name)….
what you did was wrong, yeah, but again, the thing about making mistakes is learning from them and avoid repeating them
I am sorry I can’t help too much, pancake, i am kinda nervious rn and I don’t remember reading so much about this topic before….
can i just say arin’s hyperempathetic tendencies are so fucking endearing and I Relate To Them Heavily like he’s mentioned he feels bad getting rid of old things and he feels bad picking up lost money and he he feels bad when he hits the silly little bouncy faces in zelda a link between worlds with the hammer cuz they get lil sad faces when you do it
I’m thinking about this for a Vlogbrothers video but it’s making me very nervous...
Good Morning John,
One of the things that I read a lot in the Census is that people want to hear more about our lives as adult humans who also work with people to do big things. And another thing I know about the world is that people talk about their successes, but they do not talk about their failures. Which makes failure feel much worse both to them, because they feel like they must do it in isolation, and to everyone else who never hears about failure and thus thinks their failure is unique.
Well, John, as you know, I’m in the midst of a weird failure right now. And this is how failure works in business…it’s rarely absolute. It’s not like you either get an A or an F. There are all kinds of good things along with the bad things.
So I have this company that aims to celebrate things that are amazing with real-world events. VidCon, of course, is the thing that started this.
But we also want to celebrate other nerdy things that people are passionate about. And, in particular, I’m very excited about NerdCon Stories because we, as a society, aren’t great at valuing the people who create stories and, thus, our entire culture. Like, I go to ComicCon and the lines for actors are very long, but the lines for writers, with a couple obvious exceptions, are quite short.
And here is the way in which NerdCon Stories will not be a failure. People will have an amazing time celebrating something that we do not celebrate enough. It will be a valuable experience for our special guests and our attendees and I am proud of the thing we built.
But the way it is a failure is monetarily. We’ve sold about 1000 tickets, which is plenty to make it a dynamic, exciting event with a lot of wonderful perspectives. But we budged a conference with 3000 attendees. We’ve also got plenty of room at nearby hotels which we promised we’d fill and are not going to. So, at this point, I (as the person who owns NerdCon) stands to lose quite a lot of cash.
Now, I can afford this. I am not going to go bankrupt or even go into debt. But it does sting. I’m learning all kinds of things from this, but these lessons, I wish they were not quite so expensive.
Last year, the first year of NerdCon Stories was an extremely positive experience for me, and I’m very sad I can’t go this year, especially as it will probably be the last year. And I think that it’s going to be a bangin good time for everyone who goes, and I guess that’s the thing that should matter. But while I have failed in the past, the objective measure of this in dollars is quite a ways outside of my experience and I do not have a great system for processing it.
If you’d like to attend the event, to encourage you to do that. I’m not begging, of course, you should make sound financial decisions without consideration for me, a financially stable human being. But I am very proud of the event that we’ve put together. From a John Green Yoga Adventure, opportunities for in-depth conversations with some of today’s most interesting authors, live gaming, community events, a live Dear Hank and John. Panels on diversity, adaptation, self-promotion, and tabletop gaming. Workshops on Zines, puppetry, improv, and podcasting.
It occurs to me that NerdCon: Stories is a very weird event, and maybe that’s something that is not working in its favor. It’s hard to know exactly what NerdCon Stories is, and I think that may be one reason why it is likely going to be a tremendous financial failure. But it’s also one reason why I’m not going to pull the plug on this thing. This show must go on, because it’s something very different and special.
And maybe that’s the thing we should all be going for. Even when we fail, is there a way to eliminate the shame of that and, instead, make it a failure to be proud of.
I want to tell you this, he’s the most amazing CEO in Korea I have ever seen. He sacrifices himself for his family, so severely. 90% of CEOs in Korea are just trash. They just want to suck the kids, I can’t feel that they want to make them grow. But Jay Park is different. You can see clearly that he really takes care of his people. He gifts necklaces [to his artists], lets many of them feature on his album…. and he’s hustling. He writes it in his lyrics ‘I can suffer from hardships a little bit longer’. After I saw that lyrics in his recent album, I could see clearly what’s on his mind. He has power in the kpop business or hiphop scene and he could abuse his power as much as he wanted, but I can see him adopting the regular tactics only. That’s why I think he’s the most amazing CEO in Korea I have ever seen.
1. Notice when you are slipping into negative, absolutist ways of thinking where you think the worst of yourself, your life and your future.
2. Recognise that these are habitual ways of thinking. It’s what you always think when you start to feel bad.
3. Be aware of triggers. Often certain people and situations trigger painful, negative self-destructive thoughts. Try and distance yourself from these, or completely avoid them, if you possibly can.
4. Deliberately look for the counter arguments. For example, when have things been a bit better, when have you done something right, when has someone been kind and understanding?
5. Visualise positive things that make you happy, such as curling up with a book in bed, listening to your favourite music, and so on. Often changing our thinking to things that make us happy changes our negative feelings and thoughts.
6. Get into the habit of building yourself up, so you notice and affirm your successes, strengths, good intentions and positive traits.
1. Realize that you’re not the only one. The reality is that most of us worry about the same kinds of things – such as whether others like us, are bored by others, or the kind of impression we’re making.
2. Try to uncover the roots of your anxiety. There may be a variety of reasons for feeling self-conscious, such as having had a bad experience in the past, feeling that you’re with people who are very different from you, or feeling you’re with people who don’t understand you. Also, it may simply be that you’re more introverted so social situations are more stressful for you.
3. Acknowledge the feelings as soon as they arise. That will enable you to start targeting them through positive self talk. For example, remind yourself that: “I always feel like this in these kinds of situations. I’m going to be okay. I usually cope – and I will this time, too.”
4. Fake looking and acting calm, relaxed, and self confident. In time, you’ll find your feelings will change to match the way you appear on the outside.
5. Also, acting warm and friendly helps put others at ease, and encourages them to feel more relaxed around you.
6. Try not to worry about what other people think. In reality, other people will often feel as nervous as you do. It’s just that they’ve learned how to cover it up. Also, some people think negatively about everyone. You’re never going to change this kind of person – and you don’t need their approval anyway!
7. Be kind to yourself. Praise, affirm and reward yourself for deciding to do something that’s difficult for you.
Michael’s the kind of boyfriend who would challenge you to see who could decorate christmas sugar cookies better but instead of decorating his he’d spend the whole time trying to sabotage you by bumping your hip or pushing your elbow while you were trying to frost or something douchy but feel a lil bad afterwards bc you’d get pissed at him so he’d let you decorate some of his like thanks a lot Gordon
While Ruby was clearly freaking out and kind of needed to calm down a bit, Sapphire was also in a bad situation this episode.
She was insisting on forgiving Pearl simply so they could move on to “more important” things, and this was clearly before she actually felt comfortable forgiving. This is stress inducing and unhealthy.
Ruby was right when she said that Sapphire “wasn’t above the situation”, she was simmering too, but more in a “ let the inner stress turmoil inside you while you pretend there isn’t a problem” kind of anger. In her panicking though, Ruby couldn’t notice, as Sapphire is much more subtle with her feelings and how she conveys them.
So, Ruby felt alienated because she couldn’t relate back to the person she loved easily, and Sapphire wanted to ignore her own feelings so they could move on with some greater good, attempting to get Ruby to do the same.
They were both in a bad spot, and I think they realized that only at the end.
au for @everythingelsegoesherethen: dean winchester owns the marauders’ map and uses it to make sure he and castiel always ‘accidentally’ meet at strange times.
Since he became a Prefect at the beginning of his fifth year, Castiel Novak has dealt with a lot of troublemakers who clearly just haven’t read the Hogwarts rulebook.
Dean Winchester is not one of these.
Dean Winchester is clever. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s read the handbook and
And he never, ever gets caught.
Which is why Castiel is confused when he apprehends Dean for the third time in a month, trying unsuccessfully to get into a secret passage out of the school that Cas /knows he knows exactly how to access. And yet he’s tapping all over the one-eyes witch with his wand, cluelessly trying every combination of “Let me in!” that he can, acting for all the world as though he’s under some kind of Confundus charm.
He turns the light of his wand on Dean, and Dean turns around, doing a very good job of pretending to be startled.
“Yeah, that’s me,” the boy grins, blushing and looking down at the floor but not seeming at all upset that he’s just been caught breaking five school rules at once.
“Yes, well, you’re out of bed after lights out, you’re messing with school property and you’re using magic in the corridors.” Cas is a little flustered and he can’t even explain why, but he still manages to tick at least some of the offenses off on his fingers.
“I /am? Oh, man, Cas, I’m so sorry. And I promise you it won’t happen again.” Dean is all mock-apologetic as he claps Cas on the shoulder and starts to walk away down the corridor.
“F-five points from Gryffindor!” Cas calls after him in a shaky voice.
This becomes a recurring problem. The following week, Cas runs into Dean in the restricted section of the library without a note giving him permission to be there. A few days later, he catches Dean in the act when he’s just about to set off a whole box of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes fireworks. Another time, he finds Dean on the Quidditch pitch after dark when it’s supposed to be locked up, flying loops just to show off. Sometime after that, Cas goes to take a bath in the Prefects’ bathroom at the end of a long day, and he finds the tub already overflowing with bubbles, Dean in a pair of red swimming shorts lazily swimming laps.
And for some reason it’s always harder for Cas to keep his cool around Dean that it is around anyone else. Usually he’ll dole out detentions without even blinking;the whole school respecting his authority, but something about this kid has him barely remembering the name of the red and gold house that he’s supposed to be taking points from. It /irks him, because he was given the Prefect position for a /reason, and he’s supposed to be unbiased and impartial and above such things.
After all this has been going on for a good few months, and Cas is no closer to figuring out what exactly is going on in Dean Winchester’s unfairly pretty head, he finds a piece of parchment on the floor. It’s on his normal patrol route, but not on a main corridor - it’s on one of the back routes that only Cas is responsible for walking down on his shift after lights out. It’s placed right in the middle of the corridor where Cas is guaranteed to see it. Almost as though it was left especially for him.
He picks it up. It looks blank at first, but when he unfolds it, he sees that it’s a map - an incredibly detailed map of the whole of Hogwarts castle, every room drawn, Cas believes, perfectly to scale, labelled in calligraphy, every secret passage and hidden entryway marked. Not only that, but the map is enchanted, constantly moving, staircases twisting their way through the halls in what Cas suspects is real time, and most importantly of all, tiny sets of footprints making their way through the castle halls, each with a name attached to them. Cas spots his own name next to his own footprints, which are still in the exact spot that he’s in.
He takes a step forward, and the footprints move with him.
Most of the spots are clustered in the common rooms and dormitories at this time of night; just a few Prefects and professors wandering up and down the corridors. But Cas has a sneaking suspicion he knows who this map belongs to, and the person doesn’t seem to be in the Gryffindor boys’ dormitories where he should be. Against his will, Cas finds his eyes skating over the map, looking for the potential offender.
Dean Winchester’s spot is pacing the Tallest Astronomy Tower.
Of course, none of this necessarily means that the map /actually corresponds to where people actually are. It could just be an example. Could be everyone is placed randomly and doesn’t move, no matter where they really are.
Which, of course, explains why Cas is already walking purposefully towards the Astronomy tower, taking each set of stairs two at a time, checking the map every few seconds to make sure Dean is still in the same place.
He reaches the door to the tower, and he’s not even completely conscious of why he’s doing it, but he runs a hand through his hair to fluff it up and he straightens his blue and bronze tie before he walks inside.
Dean’s there, as predicted, no longer pacing but standing in the center of the room - waiting for him? The tower is open to the heavens - not like the Great Hall, not like an enchanted version of the sky, but actually open, the summer night stars glinting down and reflecting off of magical lights that have been conjured and left to hover all around the edge of the circular tower room, a light breeze ruffling Cas’ robes as he steps towards Dean, noticing that the usually bare wooden floor is scattered with large, puffy gold and bronze cushions.
Cas holds out the map. “I think this is yours.”
Dean takes it from him, not at all surprised to see Cas there. “Don’t think it’s really anyone’s. Thing kind of has a mind of its own. But yes, I’ve been using it for a while.”
“Tell me something?” Cas asks. “You just admitted this is yours. With this you can see anyone coming at any time, you can always stay one step ahead of any professor or prefect, you never have to get found out by anyone. But you keep letting me catch you. Why?“
"That depends,” Dean says with a smirk. “Why’d you bring the map back instead of handing it into a professor? Seems like it’s a contraband object. Seems like I /should get in trouble.”
Cas opened his mouth to retort to that, but realized he didn’t have anything to say. Why /had he come here? Dean was right, after all. His first instinct, as a Prefect with designs on Head Boy at some point in the future, should have been to turn the object over to a member of staff. His mind shouldn’t even necessarily have jumped to Dean. But it had, and now he was here.
“Alright. That aside, why’d you wait for me? Why’d you pick a specific place, here, that you have /no reason to be and just pace around hoping I’d show up to find you?”
Dean spluttered, but quickly recovered. “Why’d you look for me on the map? Why’d you stare at it for so long that you saw where I was in the first place?”
“Why’d you decorate? The stars, the lights, the cushions? Why’d you set this all up for a special occasion?”
They stared at each other for a while, breathing heavily, waiting for the other one to be the first to break.
Cas cracked, and Dean gave up at the same moment, and then he both of them were lunging towards each other, Dean grabbing Cas by the tie he’d just straightened, pulling it askew, Cas fisting both of his hands in Dean’s robes, both yanking the other towards them, crashing their lips together so hard that it was almost painful when they met, their bodies falling into each other, their teeth clashing and their noses bumping and when they pull apart, they both tumble down onto the pile of cushions they’ve set up and /now Cas understands why they’re there, /now it makes sense because their landing is soft and they can reach for each other again immediately, both of them lying on their sides in the heap of fluffy pillows, kissing each other over and over and over again, each one making their lips tingle. Over time, as they grow used to the feeling, the kisses become slower, softer, more languid, and the hooded eyes when they pull away from each other are less from desire and more from tiredness, and they’re both sure they’d be happy to sleep here.
"So, what? You’ve been risking detention and house points for Gryffindor and your reputation as someone who never gets caught just to… just to get my attention?” Cas asks finally, propping himself up on one elbow.
Dean tugs him back down and kisses him again. “Well, you’re risking your Prefect position right now. But I feel like you always have to risk a little something to get the best things in life.”
And between holding hands on long walks by the lake, between screaming themselves hoarse together at Quidditch matches, between feeding each other Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans while studying in the library, and between many, many more long nights in the Astronomy tower, Cas learns that as frustrating and complicated as he is; Dean is definitely one of the best things in his life.
there are those people
whose heart will feel too heavy
for you to keep it in your hands
there are those people
who carry inside of them that kind of pain
burning through their bones so bad
until you can feel it yourself
there are those people
you will meet who will change your life forever
for its the pain in their hearts who will
inspire you to do better
and to fight for the worth of happiness
there are those people
who will continue despite everything
meet those poeple
hold their hand until they heal
you will feel them holding yours even tighter
making you believe in the beauty of life
BTS reaction: you ignoring them after they call you something degradtory in a fight
I do believe they would all avoid that kind of words like the plague, but let’s say they are very incredibly super-pissed. Thank you for requesting! xx
He would feel so bad as soon as the word left his mouth, that he’d stop the fight immediately. He would also try to apologize, both for the fight and for calling you that. But when he realizes that you’re ignoring him completely, he will be very understanding of you.
“Look, I know I did wrong and you’re angry. I’d probably do the same. So just come to me when you’re ready. I have some serious apologizing to do”. After telling you that through the door, he’d leave you alone until you went after him.
He would probably regret saying it before he even finished the word. And he’d flinch inwardly when he couldn’t stop himself from uttering the entire word. But, he’s still angry, so he won’t go after you right away like Jin. He would need some time to cool off before trying to apologize. And at first he would understand why you’re ignoring him, and be patient. But if you continued ignoring him for hours, he would probably get more impatient and try to find ways to make you talk to him. Including apologizing several times.
He would also be one to not go after you right away. But, unlike Yoongi, it’s mostly because he will realize that you probably don’t want to speak with him right now. So he would not speak with you until he asked you what you wanted to eat for dinner or something, and he’ll realize that you’re actually ignoring him. Then he’ll try to apologize. But if you ignore him for long enough, he’ll probably break and apologize, while sobbing because he feels so bad for upsetting you, and try to make you say what he can do to make it up to you.
Rap Monster/Kim Namjoon:
I don’t see him as someone who raises his voice during fights. I think he keeps his composure really well. So, if he gets angry enough to call you something degrading, he will mutter it to himself. So he doesn’t intend for you to hear it. And when you do, it just makes it so much worse. He knows it would be easier to reassure you that he didn’t mean it if he hadn’t been so calm while saying it. And he will have no clue how to make it better. Especially when you refuse to acknowledge his existence. So, he will probably go and sit next to you a while later, when you’re back, and just talk to you, hoping that him making an effort will win you back.
“Babe, I know you’re ignoring me. And you don’t have to say anything, or even react. Just listen…”
I think he, or another member, has said that he’s got quite the temper when he gets angry (not sure tho. And that might not be true now, as he’s grown up a bit since then). But I also feel like he’s quick to forgive. And after calling you something like that, he’ll basically be on his knees and apologize right away. And he won’t feel lost or upset or anything when you ignore him. He will blame himself completely and feel so guilty. He’d probably just apologize once more, and then tell you that he’s going to stay in the dorm until you want to speak to him again.
Fighting would him would be so incredibly rare. But I have a feeling that when he’s angry enough to fight, it’ll be like a typhoon or something. He will be downright scary. And he’s the type to scream at first and lose his composure completely, and then suddenly just shut off and give you the silent treatment. So, basically, he will need to call you that before he’s had more than enough. And either, he wouldn’t realize what he had called you until hours later, and then apologize furiously. Or, he will realize, and just shut down. He won’t understand how he could call you that. He’ll be horrified by himself, and not notice you leaving the room. And then he’ll apologize by doing something extra. Like, breakfast in bed, along with flowers and a teddy or something like that.
Another one who’ll be very loud while fighting. And he will probably realize what he said, but not realize quite hurtful it was until he’s calmed down. And then he’ll panic. What if you leave him? How was he going to apologize properly if you ignored him? What should he do to make it up to you? He’d probably text the other boys, all 6 of them, to get their opinion. And then, like Tae, he’ll do something extravagant to show you that he’s truly sorry. Like, he’ll be staying at the dorms as to not annoy you, and then he’ll send you loads of flowers, with a long letter that he spent hours writing down to tell you how sorry, and then a new outfit that he leaves on your bed with a note telling you to wear it and wait outside later that night if you forgive him, so he can take you out for dinner. He’s inexperienced, and therefore he will go all-in to make sure he’s done everything he can to avoid losing you.
This weekend marks three years on T. Ngl, these kinds of comparison posts glorify hormones, which sometimes leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve got a handful of trans friends who don’t have access to medical transition. Some of them can’t afford it, are denied due to nonbinary gender presentation/skin color/physical or mental disability, or can’t take hormones due to physical health problems. I feel so fucking lucky that I have the opportunity to transition in the first place, pass as cis to the general public, and not have to worry about being denied healthcare. I’m terribly grateful to those of you who have helped out along the way.
That being said, hormones aren’t the be-all, end-all of transition. Is life easier for me now? Uh, yeah. Have all of my problems evaporated? Not entirely, but they’re nothing I can’t handle. I don’t know when I’ll get top surgery. I don’t know what my plans are beyond that. It’s a foreign road for sure, but then again, I don’t even know what I’ll be doing tomorrow for dinner, and the “uncertainty” of transition isn’t any more shrouded in ~mystery~ than the other boring aspects of my life. At this point, I have the enormous privilege of not having to worry too much about it.
So I guess the reason I’m making this isn’t to stand on a rooftop and yell GO ME, I HAVE A BEARD NOW! (which, okay, is kind of neato). I just want to let some of you know that if you’re not sure whether or not transition is for you, hell, that was me too. If you’re jumping in, educate yourself on the side effects and know what’s best for your body. Don’t sacrifice your health just because society says you’re “supposed” to medically transition. Transpeople don’t owe society anything! If you do it, do it for you.
Then take a lot of selfies and pretend you actually worked out at some point since high school!
I get a lot of asks and messages on how to handle the stares and side looks when you’re out with your sugar daddy.
If we’re out shopping or something and I see someone staring, I just smile and wave. If they’re in speaking distance, I’ll smile and say something like “hey, how are you” but never in that bitchy or catty way. The tone is the same I’d use if I ran into a close friend. (Plus, I live in the south so really everyone greets eachother like they’re best friends haha) I’m the type of person who can strike up a conversation with anyone so the idea isn’t foreign to me.
But doing this kind of low key puts the person in their place because they feel embarrassed that you caught them staring. I guarantee you they’ll either scurry off or avoid looking in your direction again.
If you’re out at a restaurant and the waitress is giving you bad vibes and/or sort of staring, I make it a habit to just make small conversation and ask them how their day is going. Unless they’re a complete asshat then chances are, they’ll start feeling guilty for being so judgmental when you’re being so friendly towards them and their mood will change. Yes they’ll run off and talk to their fellow coworkers about the young woman with the much older man but they won’t have the weird attitude that makes your dinner uncomfortable.
If fellow waitresses or people in the restaurant are staring, resort to the shopping with a sugar daddy tactic mentioned above. But leave out the wave and just send a friendly smile in their direction.
What you do not want to do is make a big deal of it or complain to your sugar daddy about it because I promise you it will put him off. These men want to see that you can handle things like that and not let it bother you. If he sees that you’re so bothered by people staring then he’s going to question if you can handle an arrangement with him or even question if he wants to continue one with you.
Most importantly, remember that those stares aren’t paying your bills. The stares can be annoying but you can correct the problem in very subtle ways and your SD will appreciate it.
“If you were a girl who loves everything sparkly, and said you wanted pretty decor kind of stuff for your room for your birthday, would you say a dozen of these in different sizes would make you happy? I’m thinking she could… I don’t know, put them on her vanity with a couple of candles and that kind of girly stuff? Ugh— I’m so bad at this.”