anonymous asked:

"Hurt us so bad we can’t stand to be present in our bodies. " The body I changed through transition IS my body. I live in it, I fought hard for it. Like you, we want to live in our skin with integrity, and you act like we're selfish/delusional. We fight for transition because doctors told us we were "just mentally ill" for decades, and used that to justify making a lot of us suffer with what we were born with. MOST people think "changing your body" is undesirable/deviant on principle.

Of course your body doesn’t stop being your body if you transition or otherwise change it. It’s always going to be your body no matter what. I was referring to not feeling present in one’s body as one of the distinctive experiences of being dysphoric and saying that this can be caused by trauma and sexism. 

I know from firsthand experience that transitioning can relieve dysphoria but I don’t think that it’s only treatment or the best one. Both times I took t, it made me feel significantly more present and connected in my body. So much so that I came to believe I must have a biological condition. Eventually though, I found other ways to be present in my body and these methods brought me more peace and healing, more than I actually realized was possible. I had found some relief and happiness taking t but nothing like I’ve found accepting myself as female. For years I didn’t believe I could ever accept my body as is and didn’t even think of her as female. I was shocked by how good I felt when I finally accepted myself as a woman because that possibility had been unthinkable for so long.

A lot of trans people like to talk about gatekeeping and how bad it was in the past but I personally haven’t met a single trans person who had a hard time accessing transition as long as they had the financial resources. I lived in a major city were the local LGBT clinic would give out hormones at a significant discount so anyone one who wanted them could afford them. I’ve heard of other clinics that give them out for free. It took me all of two therapy sessions to get my letter the first time I started and I just had to tell my provider I wanted to go back on to get it the second time. It has only gotten easier to get hormones over time. Over the last ten years I’ve watched more and more people transition at younger and younger ages. This is becoming an established market and as long as this demand remains high and continues to grow, I see no signs of our capitalistic society cutting off the flow. 

I see very little threat of doctors trying to restrict who transitions because, like I pointed out in my last post, I don’t see why they’d really want to. They may have been more conservative in the past when transitioning was more stigmatized but now that the trans movement has become a celebrated cause among progressives, they can sell their products and look like good liberals at the same time. They have more incentive to stifle criticism of transition than to stop people from doing it. There now many professionals whose careers are based on providing counseling, hormones and surgeries to dysphoric people. Why would they want to decrease their consumer base? I don’t see the medical industry in general as being out to actually help people. In the end it’s just another industry trying to make as much money as possible. 

And while we’re on the subject, there are multiple billion-dollar industries devoted to changing the form and appearance of people’s bodies, ranging from dieting, working out, tattoos and piercing, cosmetic surgery, and make-up. It’s a lot easier to find people with modified bodies than people without so in that way I’d say trans people are pretty normal overall. Sure, plenty of people freak out about how other people change their bodies but chances are they’ve changed their own at some point in their life.

When trans people care about having access to transition so much that they disregard those who’ve been harmed by it, yeah, they are being selfish.  Putting your desires ahead of other people’s well-being is selfish.  It’s perfectly possible to work for having access to transition and acknowledge it’s not the only way to deal with dysphoria and that sometimes people are harmed by transition. Instead, a lot of trans people  work to silence any criticism of transition and any alternative explanations for dysphoria or how to treat it. I would consider insisting, as many trans people do, that transition is the only true way to treat dysphoria as silencing and erasing other treatment options. 

I have been personally hurt by trans culture and discourse and so have other women I know. I was a part of the trans community for most of my adult life and now I’m reflecting on my time there and how it affected me and the decisions I ended up making. And what I’ve been realizing is that a lot of the prevailing ideas hurt me.  In some cases I could probably go back and find the books or the websites where I first picked those ideas up. I can name some of the people who influenced me.  A lot of what I was encouraged to think by trans discourse kept me trapped in my damage. It got in the way of me working through my trauma, it did not help me heal. My life has improved a lot since I start thinking about and interpreting my reality outside of a trans framework.

You can talk all you want about how transitioning helped you and I can talk about how it hurt me and how the trans community and medical establishment are implicated in harming me and other women. I may have decided to take t but I would’ve never had access to it without a clinic willing to provide me with a prescription and take my money. I wouldn’t have interpreted my feelings as proving I was trans and needed to change my body without trans culture and community influencing my perceptions. And, just so as not to forget the root cause, I would have never felt dissociated from my body, would never have felt like I couldn’t really be female or a woman, would never have acted out my hatred of myself as a woman and a lesbian on my body if I hadn’t grown up in a violent, mindfucking, life-hating patriarchy. 

…interrupting this Cumber-worship-fest with important news:


…we now return you to the regularly scheduled Cumber-adoration :-D

au ideas from personal experience!!!!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

  • ‘my short ass has been jumping to reach the lock on top of this door and you saw me and went over to help but i didn’t have the chance to move aside so now we’re standing really close and i think i’m about to have a heart attack’ au
  • ‘oh my god nOOOO i wasn’t looking at u!!!! i was tryna see which book u were reading this is so embarrassing but ok i’ll have coffee w you’ au
  • ‘i was walking home when i saw a cute cat on the street i wanted to take a picture of and it seems you did too hi nice to meet you’ au
  • ‘this is awkward but i know i told u my name was _____ um that’s actually not it bc i stuttered the first time i introduced myself to u oh my god please stop laughing’ au
  • ‘we’re strangers but you blurted out ‘wow you’re so small’ to me amidst chatting with ur friends and now they’re pushing u to ask for my number huh i don’t know if i should be annoyed or flattered’ au
  • ‘ok i know we don’t talk let alone “know” each other but my classmate told me you’re the only one who watches the show i do and holy shit did u see the last episode’ au
  • ‘listen i really fuckin need this red bull mixed with coffee and tea to survive the day bc i’m sleep deprived so stop telling me i’m going to die or it’s you who will be found dead at the end of the day’ au
  • ‘hi i know it’s 2 am but my roommate’s friends are sleeping over and they haven’t shut up since they’ve arrived so can i sleep on your couch tonight i can pay you $7’ au


THU JUL 21 - 8:00 AM

36 Montford Avenue

Black Asheville Matters! Rally & Action for Black Lives & #Justice4Jerry

When you look at the State of Black of Asheville and the killing of Jerry Williams it appears that the City of Asheville cares more about tourism than racial justice. So we stand with the National Movement for Black Lives and more than 30 cities across the country demanding that the nation’s police departments take responsibility for the over-policing of Black neighborhoods, excessive use of force against Black Children, women and men, the criminalization of Black bodies, and the death of Black citizens, people of color and Indigenous people. We demand justice for Jerry Williams.

We Want:
A future where Black people, indigenous people, people of color and all people are free from violence and oppression, and free to be themselves and enjoy the same access to justice, dignity and respect that we have.

spartanlady16  asked:

Kendra, I'm bored... Entertain me.

when i was in the eighth grade my class went on a field trip and we used public transportation. i don’t remember much about the trip besides the train ride but i know we had to take the 34 and get on the train…. not important. anyway. i went to school with a bitch who will not be named. that bitch was a friend of a friend so, consequently, we were standing next to each other on the platform. she was running her mouth when a train came and she got on the train but she got on the wrong train and i saw her get on and i knew it was the wrong train and i. said. nothing. she made eye contact with me as she rode away alone and i felt no remorse and i waited to tell a teacher

Ok but real talk/unpopular opinion time

Davekat is my OTP but I don’t… Care if we have a ship week like every freaking week is davekat ship week bc it’s such a popular pairing I just

I love them but I Need My Lesbians To Be Loved More

anonymous asked:

Had this guy pay for a $119 bill with two $100 bills. I didn't have enough to break the second hundred so we had to stand around and wait for someone to break it for me, in the middle of a huge rush. I apologized for the wait and he said, nobody pays in cash anymore. Actually, you idiot, tons of people pay in cash. It's just that everybody thinks we're a fucking bank so they either clean me out of 20s with cashback or want their large bills broken, leaving me with nothing. 😒😒😒😒😒


Today was “Drug Restaurant” concert day in Seoul, and it was absolutely lovely~ so exciting!!

The band started the concert softly with some ballads but it picked up in the second half with energetic songs, so everyone could listen to what they liked. They even made a rock cover of Twice’s “Cheer Up” which was punchy and hilarious: Joonyoung was akwardly dancing like a dork during the ‘shy, shy, shy’ bit, it was adorable! Some people have already posted videos of that part on Instagram (as well as photos, some of which are above) so keep your eyes open for those~

I couldn’t get any good pictures as I was sitting close to the outward alley and the CJ staff is super strict about photos or videos taken during the concert : if you’re caught you have to get out Ô_o!!! I couldn’t risk that…
Actually, it’s a rule that I’m gratefull for most of the time. That way you get to really enjoy the show without having to fight with paparazzi fans blocking your view. I just wish the staff was a bit more lenient during the “encore” songs ;-p

Anyway, I was still pretty close to the front and had a really good time! At some point the members invited on stage this super cute 12 year old girl who came on her own to the concert, to talk with her and give her free goodies. It was such a sweet gesture and Joonyoung gave her a hug before she went back to her seat, which had everyone in the audience squealing like crazy as you can imagine. At the end, they also threw some signed “pockeballs” to the crowd as a final event pwahahahaha XD

I’m glad I had the opportunity to attend the show tonight as it was my last evening in Korea before some well deserved summer holidays! In a few hours I’ll be flying back to my home country to spend a month off, far away from any urbanized and/or civilised area.
I’m kinda dreading it (goodbye 24/7 food delivery and unlimited entertainement T_T) but I’ve missed the food of my people. So much so that I started having all those weird cravings for stuff I don’t even eat normally…
Also I haven’t finished packing yet. I don’t think I’ll get to sleep tonight. At least I’ll get plenty of rest in the plane tomorrow. Such a long-a** flight ahead of me… lol

Have a fantastic summer (or winter if you live in the southern hemisphere) and I should be back on sunday for our weekly dosage of bumbling ajusshis goofing off somewhere on the korean peninsula~


Favorite Joe and Emma Scenes >> [2/?]
    ↳ 2x09 “Unmasked”

Videra: I can’t do it!

Yelv: I can’t eve-

V: I can’t fucking do it!

Y: WELL I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, PARD! YOU CAN GIVE UP NOW OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT! Because I certainly can’t do it without you, and I know you can’t do it without me!


Y: Pard-


V: You gotta make a statement! You gotta look inside yourself and say, “What am I willing to put up with today?” NOT! FUCKING! THIS!

anonymous asked:

bro my sister is pissing me off help. aight so when u in the shower, are u standing facing the knob things and the shower head?!???? or are u facing with ur back to it. I stand with my back facing to it but apparently thats weong?! have i been showering wrong my entire life! i mean i fucking smell delicious so its not a priblem but SOS

“i fucking smell delicious so it’s not a problem” you’re hilarious, I love you. 

I stand with my back to the knobs and the shower head, if that helps?  

singmesweetthings  asked:

Hate how customers still shop after weve made the final closing announcement. We dont get paid overtime at our place so we're standing around waiting to serve and quite often we dont finish till quarter to six when we're meant to be off at half past

oceans-of-syncronized-chaos  asked:

So I saw the video of the burning piano and I have a very serious question. Did u roast marshmallows?

We did not, unfortunately! We had already eaten a ton of food, and the fire was insanely hot, so it was difficult to get close to the flames hah