Cursed Child was dumb and here are some reasons why
(warning: spoilers. this probably won’t make sense unless you’ve read the script. far be it from me to recommend this kneazle-vomit of a play, though, so if you haven’t read it, good)
the plot is messy, strange, and childish. there’s only one time-turner left!! how will the characters cope when said time-turner is lost? oh lol they’ll just use this other convenient time-turner. for convenient plot points, see also: harry can suddenly speak parseltongue again, because well he just kind of needs to be able to do that
Harry cursing “oh dumbledore” without a hint of irony. like really? really
the characterisation was a pile of dragon dung and we all freaking know it. let’s break it down into individual characters here because fuck if I can stop at one bullet point for this
Hermione: the brightest witch of her age, the constant crusader for the unloved and the unrepresented, whose successful career and capacity for kindness apparently rest in the hands of her romance with Ron Weasley. oh… but wait. it sounds a little familiar, this story. hear me out. let’s see now, a highly intelligent person who falls in love but doesn’t have that love reciprocated, and who then becomes a really fucking mean teacher at Hogwarts through bitterness. sound like anyone we know? fam, they tried to parallel Hermione and Snape. Hermione and Snape. this being the same Snape who sneered in Hermione’s face when she’d been visibly hexed, and made her cry; the same Snape who bullied Neville Longbottom for years, while Hermione muttered instructions under her breath to help him. if you want to tell me that Hermione would ever allow herself to become a Snape parallel then I will kindly invite you to shove a dirigible plum where there’s no lumos solem
Harry: when Harry was at his angriest in OOTP, and he’s yelling at Ron and Hermione, there’s one thing we notice. everything he yells is true. he means it. he’s bitter about it and he’s loud and furious, but he doesn’t have the kind of anger that just says anything to cause hurt, that speaks without thinking, not even at this crisis point in his life. are you really going to tell me that the boy who knows down to his bones what it’s like to feel rejected, and misunderstood, and alone, would ever say - even in anger - that he wishes Albus wasn’t his son? I am going to snap wands over this
Cedric. and this one burns. because Cedric was brave and he was true, and he had a sense of justice that led him to telling Harry about the way the golden egg worked, and led him to sharing the winning of the triwizard tournament with Harry. he died, he was murdered at the age of seventeen, embodying a sense of justice so strong, an innocence, a goodness. Cedric Diggory - the boy who believed in fairness with an integrity that is astounding - becoming party to the indiscriminate killing and casual torture of the Death Eaters just because he had his head engorged one time… is about as likely as Hagrid stomping on a dragon egg. it’s an insult to who he was and I am going to engorge the entire bodies of the writers of this fucking play so that hopefully they’ll just float away too, with all the grace and likeability of Aunt Marge
Voldemort: can we all agree now that Voldemort would not father a child. the idea of him experiencing lust seems out of character; the idea of him giving into a base urge seems more so. it’s too human, too vulgar, too physical; it would associate him with the common and the mainstream in a way that I contend he would find repulsive. Tom Riddle Sr. was trapped by Merope into sex and romance; to have sex would be to bring himself closer to his parents, down to the level of a Muggle and a witch who lacked power and craved love, two things Voldemort could never, ever stand. no. he wouldn’t have sex just because he wanted to; he’d be repelled by the idea. what other reason could there be for him to do the nasty with Bellatrix? to ensure the continuation of his line? that makes even less sense. achieving immortality for Voldemort was always a question of magic, a personal quest. he wouldn’t go for a messy, physical back-up plan. he always thought that he would win. if anything, he would see a child as a future threat, not a security. another being in the world with the promise of his power? he wouldn’t risk it.
what the fuck was that trolley witch scene though
“for voldemort and valour” are you serious. is there a Gryffindor spy in the Voldemort camp laughing their ass off because they actually managed to get that one through. and are they ten years old
overall, the message of the play infuriated me. Delphi was the child of Voldemort, so she was evil. Albus was the child of Harry, so he was good. Scorpius was the son of Draco, so he should have been evil, but Draco’s actually kind of good now and his mother was nice, so he can be good too. where is the complexity? was five hours of drama not enough to find some shades of morality? where is the hope, where is the resonance, in a story that says that good begets good and evil begets evil, and nothing can really change? the Harry Potter book series was about a boy who grew up with something inside him that was utterly evil, and who rejected it, fought against it, changed the path that fate seemed to wish him to walk. not slytherin, not slytherin. we had Regulus Black and Sirius Black, who rejected their pasts, whose heritage and whose House stood for nothing against their principles, their eventual and separate forms of bravery. we had Remus Lupin, who transformed into a monster but never became one, not even after years of rejection and pain. we had the word mudblood, and we watched Hermione fight it, we knew it was ridiculous to label someone based on their blood. and now… we have the Cursed Child. a playwhich is flat, and stupid, and tells us that your parentage inevitably dictates your character - and that how you’re treated is how you’ll treat others. dear writers, in the words of Albus Dumbledore, you fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be. you fucks.
The Hogwarts founders were four witches and wizards who
established Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry during the
medieval era, in the 10th century. These four founders are widely
described as being the most brilliant witches and wizards of the time
and were the following: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena RavenclawandSalazar Slytherin.
Each of them created their own House: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw
and Slytherin respectively. They laid the foundations for the only
Wizarding school in Britain. (x)
What are you looking forward to the most right now? Success of BTS.
What are your five greatest interests right now? A.R.M.Y., rice, chicken, meat, and guitar.
What was Chicago like? Chicago pizza was delicious! And they had the largest steak I have I ever seen.
What did you like during your stay in Chicago? It was really nice because I was able to appreciate the sceneries and atmosphere of the city. The food was good, but to me, that was just a nice extra. The sceneries were that good.
You had a total of six concepts in the photo book. Which concept or story did you think suited you the most? AWAKEN. I think the heavy and formal styling really suits me.
Do you think you are a grown-up now? Certainly, as the leader of the group, I experienced the world a little sooner than people my age, so I think I am a grown-up. I just act like a kid on purpose! I talk to my friends and they ask for my advice on life!
What was it like when you finally turned 20? I felt a bit empty. I also wondered when did I become an adult…
What did you want to do the most when you become an adult? I wanted to have serious conversation on topics of our society with my father.
You in your imagination as a little boy 10 years ago vs. You right now - Are you the same person? I thought I would be thinking about getting married.
You released the cover song ‘Adult Child’ three years ago. Can you empathize with the lyrics? I want to stay a child. Getting old is sad.
Is there something you have not tried but want to do someday? I haven’t done acting in a while now. I want to start again.
What other people tell you the most these days. Now I realize that you are a handsome guy.
What you need to hear right now. I am happy that you are here.
For those who support you… I don’t know how to repay you. It is such a blessing to have people supporting my dream. I become happier with more people sending me love. I really hope you know that I support your dreams too.
Your goal in 2016. I want to be a person who is loved by many people. I will practice harder and try to bring joy to people.
Your definition of ‘dream.’ To imagine things that can happen? The great feeling you will have when you achieve the dreams is inexplainable.
After the interview…What are you going to do now? I will go eat-
Mark Sheppard missed the 200th episode party to go to a convention in Halifax, NS. Jensen, Jared and Misha included him in the following text chat:
Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that 200th episode screening party was the best corporate function I've ever been to. Not only was it just plain fun but on a business level, it felt like magic was happening. I haven't had that kind of synergy with the producers and writers in years. So glad we could make it.
I agree, Misha. What a magical gathering of talented artists and erudite minds...
Couldn't agree more. It was like the culmination of 10 years hard work realized right there on stage in front of an adoring crowd, the synergy between us certainly tangible. Glad I didn't miss it.
Fuck off. Bastards.
I honestly think the 4 simple words "once in a lifetime" sum it up best... Oh, shoot. Mark? Are you getting these? I must have posted an all text thread. Sorry about that. Disregard.
Mark? Who? All joking aside, if I'd have missed that party...
Don't even let yourself go to that dark place. You would never miss something like that.
That's true. I'm not an asshole.
Who is Mark?
I think he played Lucifer on the show a few years ago. Good job on that role by the way, Mark. Very spooky.
Yeah, yeah- he was great. Best Mark for sure.
I've left for Halifax. There's nothing for me here.
There's probably not much for you there either.