so-i-get-a-wild-card

ariadnearca  asked:

I cannot for the life of me figure out how I started following your blog, but you managed to effortlessly get me invested enough in MTG's lore to start playing properly, so THANK YOU and keep up the good memeing

That’s fucking awesome!! Welcome to the wild and merciless heart-crusher that is being aware that MtG has a story outside the cards and everything hurts!

Today, I fucked up...  by proposing to my girlfriend.

So I took the time to prepare a romantic, candle-lit place. It was beautiful, with heart-shaped balloons, red and white roses everywhere, candles everywhere, made her favorite meal, made a mixtape with our favorite songs…anything a girl wants in a relationship right? (even though not all girls - hold on)

It was soo romantic, spent half of my paycheck to rent the place and prep everything. I was so excited to see her reaction and my heart was going wild. It is my first time ever doing this, so I did my best, but it was all damn beautiful!

So she gets led to the place by her sister, she lied to her that there was bday party of another friend of her. She arrived, read the card I prepared and she had misty eyes. Then the door opened, she saw me in the candle lit room with my tux - romantic as fuck - music was playing, I invited her for a dance. She was really happy!

Everything went as planned…dinner, dance, music… she was excited and happy, didn’t know what to say etc. Then I proposed and she said YES!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S OBVIOUSLY MORE! SINCE YOU KNOW SHE IS A WOMEN AND COMES FROM ANOTHER PLANET!

The next day she said she was not happy with the way I proposed, a romantic night with each other is what she apparently didn’t want! She wanted me to call her friends and surprise her with them! We argued a lot, she appreciated my efforts but didn’t like it all. And I said that she apparently loves her friends more than me, she said that it isn’t true, but it came out like that! She said I was being selfish by doing it “my way” and not how she imagined it!

TL;DR: Apparently you should propose the way the girl wants it :(

Updates!

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

Keep reading

4

EYEBROWS INTENSIFY - TAKE TWO!

VALENTINE’S DAY 2013
VALENTINE’S DAY 2015

VALENTINE’S DAY 2016

In celebration of me never getting anything ever (hahaha *sob*) have a Valentine’s Day comic! Even though Cosmo Magazine is full of crap, I think Derek somehow pulled it off!

♥ Other Derek Hale-themed ideas for the card (and puns): 
- Have some chocolate while eyebrows this card
- His eyebrows are so thick because that’s where he hides his love
- ‘The Wild Hair of Love’
- His eyebrows may disappear when he wolfs out, but his love does not
- '3 Hairs Short of a Unibrow: A Timeless Love Story’
- His eyebrows say 'no’, but his dick says 'hella’

Aaaaaand finally, a haiku:

Coarse and strong they sit
Like furrows, they sink downward
His glare is scary

♥ HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 

Hoooo boy. I’m gonna let my imagination run wild here, so get ready to read some of my personal headcanon stuff! (I apologize beforehand that all the pics below are messier than my usual works. I was in a hurry to draw them all. XD)

Nice Gang (Nice Cream Guy)

Where do all the hotshots lose their money? Why, of course at the Nice Cream Casino! Starting from humble beginnings of selling nice creams to becoming a multi-million dollar casino owner, Nice Cream Guy is one of the few cases who turned from rags to riches. He coins his success to the “Nice Cream Bingo Card” he implemented when selling his nice creams back in the day, which soon expanded to his current mega gambling business.

He’s possibly the nicest guy you’ve ever met–with his smiles and unending compliments–but don’t let his looks fool you. He is ruthless to those who are rude or those who cannot pay their debt. He’ll make sure to teach you a lesson…with a smile. :D

Muffin Gang (Muffet)

This gang is known for their delicious baked goods and the ability to rid anyone without a trace. Yes, they’re a professional exterminator with Miss Muffet as their boss. Though their commission fees are ridiculously high, Muffet’s loyal little critters will complete the job without fail.
But most know her as the “lady baker” and her muffins are simply to DIE for. 

Temmie Gang (Temmie)

How many of them are there? Who are they? WHAT are they? Nobody knows much about this gang aside from the fact that A) they are the best blackmarket dealers to approach, and B) they are EVERYWHERE. If you’re wishing to sell shady things or looking for rare goods, just place a boiled egg outside at night and one of them will appear. It’s pretty much an unspoken rule in the underworld to never cross with the Temmies if you know what’s good for you. Though when prompted, nobody actually knows what happens.

GLAM Gang (Mettaton, Napstablook, Burgerpants)

Possibly the most popular and well-known gang of all because of their glamorous boss, Mettaton! He appears in dramas, operas, radios and practically dominates the entire entertainment business. Although it is public knowledge that he is a mob boss, the majority accepts and loves him as a celebrity.
Mettaton has two trusted members he keeps close: Napstablook (AKA “Blookie”) and Burgerpants (AKA “Burgerpants”). Burgerpants’ role is more of a manager (or slave) who handles all of boss’ schedules and needs, while Napstablook handles the shadier side of things with his family of ghosts. It is said that ever since Mettaton appeared, many of the famous celebrities seemed to have disappeared all of a sudden…

The Gang (Asgore, Undyne, all the doggies)

Don’t let their simple name fool you. “The Gang” is possibly the strongest force of the underground. Many consider the leader, Asgore, as the don of all mobs since he practically legislates each gangs from going into war with each other (though skirmishes still happens now and then). His pleasant demeanor makes him an all around likable guy; but when there’s a need to demonstrate their strength, he will deliver.
His right-hand person is Undyne, who trains and takes care of their gang members. He also had his wife, Toriel, handle the inner politics of their works until a certain incident broke them apart. It’s a sore subject that neither likes to talk about.

The Trio (Toriel, Sans, Papyrus)

The smallest gang of all, consisting only three members, but a force that’s hard to ignore. Toriel’s trusted members, known as “the skeleton brothers” can break in and retrieve any hidden items locked behind the securest and the most heavily guarded places. Though sometimes they get caught in the act, they always manage to slip away (with a bit of force, that is).
Toriel came to build this small gang shortly after separating from Asgore. They were steadily making a name for themselves within the underworld, but Toriel called quits from all mob activity at a certain point and now lives a humble life as a whole goods shop owner.

It’s not too much to ask. Though I may have drawn this for reasons other than this prompt.

I do love their relationship a lot. They contrast each other pretty well. They’re pretty opposite in the sense that one is the straight man that grounds the group, while the other is the wild card that can’t be held down by anything. Despite that they seem to get along pretty well and it’s always fun to see them interacting with each other.

Choromatsu needs to cry more.  

can you imagine if dianite in the void box is like ‘yo anyone wanna play uno’ and everyone’s like sure sure why not

and the entire time mot and tom are just yelling at each other because

HERE TOM YOU HAVE TO TAKE +4 CARDS CAUSE YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY CHEATING’ 

‘YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOT I’M NOT CHEATING YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S OBVIOUSLY CHEATING’ 

eventually dianite and tucker have to break the two up before they get into a fist fight and as dianite stands up, like 7 wild cards fall out of his sleeve and everyone stares at him before jordan in the background just sorta goes ‘…..i have uno’

sonja at this point is trying to stop from laughing and martha and wag are just shaking their heads and smiling

andor and gaines are kinda relieved that jordan is probably gonna win because oh my god who would’ve thought that uno would be so problematic???

it is so wild to me that grown-ass adults will get into arguments with minors on this site and then when the minor tells them to fuck off because, hey, they’re a minor, the adult will accuse the minor of “pulling the minor card” like, minors absolutely have the right to ~pull the minor card~ because adults have a responsibility to mind their own fucking business and leave kids alone. i don’t care if the minor “started it”. if you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be harassing/antagonizing/arguing with children on the internet, period. i don’t see why that’s so hard for some people to understand.

Sorry for the shitty edit lmao 

I don’t know about everyone else but I’m getting a bit antsy for 2.5 to come out in December. So, as a way to show love for Kingdom Hearts, start the hype train back up and to help the waiting go by a little quicker, I thought an appreciation week for my favorite video game series would be fun!

It runs from Sunday the 14th to Saturday the 20th

Sunday: Favorite game in the series 
Monday: Favorite character in the series
Tuesday: A scene that makes you emotional
Wednesday: A scene where that makes you laugh 
Thursday: Favorite original or Disney world 
Friday: Favorite trio of the series
Saturday: Wild card day! Pick something and go with it!

If you want, tag things as kh week or khweek!! 

Anyways, have fun! I’m excited! :) 

3

click for larger image that’s easier to read!!

so @tprkz started asking me about my daiya!avatar au. here’s kind of a general Who’s From Where and a lil bit about all the character’s i’ve thought about so far! send me asks about any characters you wanna hear more about. i mean, one day i’d like to get around to drawing them all or writing something a little more… concrete. ‘till then, it’s just me rambling

the real wild card in this au, you might notice, is itsuki, so feel free to ask me anything you wanna know about his somewhat precarious background in this AU.

if anyone wants to write/draw for this AU, go for it! in fact, i encourage it! definitely link me to whatever you make!

Two words: strip poker.

Thank you anon! I’ll fully admit, I have NO idea how poker is played. I’m really terrible at card games and remembering long complicated rules. So, I’ve decided to change this to adult Go Fish. Because I love the contrast of a kid’s card game and adults getting naked. ;D Hope you like it!!


It was pouring outside. Luckily, he’d fixed the leaking window earlier that week. Even so, the power was out. Claire walked around their flat with a blanket around her shoulders, her hair sticking out.

The electricity in the air from the oncoming storm was making her hair go wild. It had put her into a touchy mood.

“Sassenach?”

“What?”

“Fancy a card game?”

“I can’t play card games, you know that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I can’t bluff if my life depended on it.”

He smirked and pulled out the deck of cards.

“Aye. I ken it well. But what about a game that doesna require ye to lie?”

She frowned, thinking he was obviously up to something.

“And what cad game will we play that doesn’t require bluffing?”

“Go Fish.”

She shot him a look so flat it was funny.

“Jamie… That’s a child’s game.”

“Aye. But… If we play wi’ the brandy Jared sent us and we play the adult version…”

“Adult version?”

He nodded to the living room and they sat down on either side of the small coffee table.

“Do tell, Mr. Fraser. What exactly is the ‘adult version’ of Go Fish?”

“Weel… Every time ye ask for a card that I dinna have, ye have to take something off.”

“And I suppose that if you ask me for a card I don’t have, you have to strip as well?”

“Of course.”

“So who wins?”

“I think we both win. But… Whoever has the most cards at the end of the game gets to decide what we do next.”

One of her brows arched high.

“Oohh… I like the way that sounds.”

“Good. I’ve already planned out what I’ll do to ye when I win.”

“When you win? What about if I win?”

“I suppose that’ll be up to you, Sassenach.”

He dealt out the cards and spread the leftovers between them.

“So… Do I get to decide what you take off?”

“No. I’ll decide what I remove, as will you.”

She nodded and organized her cards.

“Ladies first.”

“Twos.”

He smiled.

“Nay, lass. I’ve no two. Strip an’ fish.”

She snorted and laughed, setting down her cards before she pulled off her sweater. Then she drew a card from the big pile.

“Fours?”

“Damn!”

She took three cards from her hand and gave them over.

In half an hour, Claire sat glaring at him in her socks and panties. Nothing else. Jamie, however, still had his socks, boots and boxers on. She kept pulling the blanket closer around her as it slid off her shoulders.

“Give me the queen,” he said, staring at her final card.

She flung it at him, clutching the blanket closer.

“My G-God it’s c-cold in h-here.”

“And I’ve won, Sassenach.

“And you’ve g-got p-plans?”

“Aye. I do.”

He pulled off the rest of his clothes and pushed the cards off the table. Then, he grabbed the blanket from around her and put it over the table.

“Here?!”

“Aye. The lights are out. No one can see us through the windows.”

“Jamie no! What if the lights come back on?”

“Then we’ll give the old couple next door a good show. Come here, Sassenach. Ye lost and I wish to claim my winnings.”

She began to protest, but he would not be denied. There were candles lit on the  little table beside the couch. Just enough to see the outlines of her body.

“Jamie!”

“Come. Here. If ye willna come on your own, I’ll make ye. And ye willna like it.”

With a huff, she stood up and removed her underwear. Grabbing her around the waist, he held her too him and kissed her hard. Little by little, she melted against him. 

He’d once had a dream about this, taking her in the dark on the tabletop. It made no sense why he wanted to experiment with it so badly. But he did.

Things got awkward for a moment while he laid her down on the table.

“Would you hurry up and do something? I’m freezing!”

He laughed and looked down at her pointed nipples.

“So I can see, Sassenach. Here,” he pinched and massaged one breast. “Let me warm ye.”

Belatedly, he realized the height difference of the table would make things difficult.

Eventually, he got himself figured out and thrust home. Claire grunted and one leg hooked around him.

“Get it all worked out?” she asked through a giggle.

Letting his weight hold her down, he began to thrust his hips against her. Her hands slid down his back and grabbed his buttocks hard. He could feel her nails digging into his flesh.

She whimpered and tried to move herself to match him, but the leverage he had kept her as she was.

Suddenly the lights came on.

“Jamie!”

“Hush!”

Her head turned and she stared out the window.

“They can see us!”

“Hush, woman!”

“Jamie! They’re wa- Oh God!”

She thrashed against him and he kept moving. He was so close, could feel the tension and the heat of it. Then he cried out, burying his face in her neck as his body jerked.

“Jamie!” she panted. “They’re watching us!”

“Let them. I canna move.”

And then someone knocked on the door. Claire giggled and pushed him off before running down to the bedroom, holding her clothes over her chest. For himself, he wrapped the blanket around his hips and went to the door, keeping himself covered.

“Mister Fraser!”

“Good evening, Mrs. Crook.”

“Mister Fraser! I have to say I’m verra disappointed in ye!”

“Aye, Mrs. Crook. I ken what ye mean. I’m sorry for what ye saw, Mistress.”

“I’m glad that ye have such a passion for yer wife, sir. But I’ll have to kindly ask that ye keep things out of sight! Why ye nearly gave poor mister Crook a heart condition!”

“I deeply apologize mistress. I promise, next time we’ll draw the blinds so ye willna see anything inappropriate.”

“I thank ye, sir.”

He closed the door and locked it before going down to his wife. She was curled up in bed already, though not yet asleep.

“What did Mrs. Crook have to say?”

“That she’s glad I’ve such a passion for my wife,” he said, mimicking the woman’s shrill tone. “But she’ll have to kindly ask that we keep things out o’ sight.”

“Mmm. I think we can do that. Come to bed, Jamie.”

Gathering her into his arms, he kissed the top of her head.

“I love ye, mo nighean donn.”

“I love you too, Jamie.”

“Yes, I am 1,000 percent a ‘Twilight’ fan. I can’t even deny that I am actually, in fact, a Twi-Hard and have a ‘Twilight’ tattoo (also team Edward), I got a tattoo on my wrist that says ‘bitten,’ and it’s written in the font of all the book titles. So, yes, I am of one the big, geeky fans.

I’ll never forget going to the screening of the movie. But, for me, having this opportunity is also such a wild card, because it’s Hollywood, and you never really know. … I wasn’t even sure I was going to be on it until yesterday, when I saw it in print. So I tried not to get hyped out, because it’s one of my favorite movies, one of my favorite books, one of my favorite soundtracks, and that could potentially freak out the little songwriter in me.

So I tried to put that aside and take it one step at a time, went to see the movie and cried like a baby, because it’s so good, and I felt so lucky to be there. And then went home and wrote a love song to Edward and Bella … and to have it be chosen, I’m unbelievably honored.

—  Christina Perri, on how A Thousand Years came to be

Some more Cardtale pictures. All the shop keepers, bar, and bakery owners were sorted into Diamonds, but not all Diamonds are shop keeps. That’s rude and stereotyping. Nah jk. I’m still sorting through a few monsters, but Diamonds have the biggest population so far.

A month of nonstop Undertale shenanigans and I have yet to draw Gaster. So there he is. As a Wild Card.

I also know that joker cards are often portrayed as imps or devils, so I drew some variant outfits for Sans ans Papyrus. I kinda prefer their outfits on the actual cards. These ones seem more fitting for Underfell lol.

It was suggested that Dogamy and Dogaressa belong to two different factions, because who doesn’t love cross-faction forbidden love XD. I’ve also got this headcanon going that Frisk runs into them at the border between Clubs and Spades, and in order to get past them, Frisk convinces them to run away together.

On a completely different note. I have been whisked away to San Fransisco for 2 weeks, far away from my drawing computer, tablet, and scanner *dramatic sigh*. But! I’m armed with my sketchbook and doodle tools and I am determined to draw 1 Undertale picture a day. I’ll scan them and post them when I get back.

This is the one single person I didn’t want to go home tonight or ever. I didn’t care if Meg or Becky or James went home if Jackie was safe. And the fact that……….. damn STEVE, the NOBODY, was the HOH who ACCIDENTALLY got Her out of the house…….. The fact that JOHN went after veto so hard just to do nothing when he would’ve been 100% safe………….. Just everything to tonight was traumatizing and I just feel so defeated. I’m literally crying right now and throwing a temper tantrum. This is the worst eviction of the season and one of the worst evictions EVER. 100% the worst Double Eviction. The worst HOH. It just hurts me so much and I just know that Jackie is going to get redemption. She was in SUCH a good spot and it just SUCKS that the one wild card of the house who didn’t even have his sights set on Her got Her out. I’m really hurting.

SO UNCIVILIZED // a Star Wars challenge

  • favorite battle + favorite army of that battle
  • favorite quote(s)
  • favorite relationship
  • compare two different locations
  • favorite organization
  • the force
  • favorite duo / friendship
  • aesthetic: the prequel trilogy
  • aesthetic: the original trilogy
  • aesthetic: the force awakens
  • favorite soundtrack song(s)
  • funniest scene
  • the jedi vs the sith
  • favorite battle: the prequel trilogy
  • favorite scene: the original trilogy
  • favorite character: the force awakens
  • one death
  • anything you want / wild card

Earlier this weekend I was raving about the leggings I’m wearing in this photo and today’s practice made me love them even more. When I practice inversions, my belly and my pedicure are my ‘wild card’ elements- my pedicure always gets jacked up from the constant toe dragging, and my belly is always flopping around like a deflated basketball. Cure for the messed up pedicure? Gel pedicure. Cure for the flopping belly? THESE PANTS. Who knew that pants without a compression element could so effectively contain my belly? Also, can we talk about the awesomeness of this headband? I mean, the little bit of hair I have is unbelievably unruly and this headband keeps it in check w/o squeezing my scalp. In other news, it’s effing adorable. The badass designer responsible for my new garb is Nikki of Kobieta (www.shopkobieta.com)

Want to win one of these headbands in the color of your choice? To enter, just comment below (on instagram, you tumblr fiends) about your favorite yoga posture and why it rocks your world. For example, I kind of live for #camelpose- it makes my whole body sing every time it shows up in my practice. Last day to enter is this Saturday (5/17)!

#scorpionpose #invertyoself #forearmstand

Made with Instagram
10

My Wild Unkown deck arrived in the mail today! <3 I can’t get over how beautiful it is. I’m still gushing over the gorgeous artwork.

I took some photos of the cards that I found especially striking. And the two at the end are my two favorite cards, compared to their Rider Waite counterparts. Honestly, I’m so glad RW isn’t my only deck anymore.