so many Richard feelings

what do you think gansey was like when he was a little kid? was he obsessive about nerdy history even then too? did he have an interest in kings before he began his quest to find a sleeping welsh one? did he stay up late under the covers with a flashlight reading about fantasy and adventure? do you think he ever got bullied by other kids, or has he always had the talent of knowing how to wear a handsome mask, knowing how to charm everyone? who was gansey before glendower??

You know that feeling?

The one where you’re watching a complete stranger (usually an actor) in an interview or some type of video where they’re being chill and just themselves and you giggle to yourself because they’re so damn adorable and desirable that you start to plan your first date, wedding, kids (if you want kids), how many pets you’ll have, where you’ll live and then you have, like, a really specific scene play out in your head of something completely normal and random but all domestic or coupley and then all of a sudden you feel kinda sad because you know it’s never gonna happen?

…yeah…me too.

Adam Parrish’s (real) Family

The conclusion to the Raven Cycle series left me with a lot of feelings. The biggest and squishiest of which were centered around Adam’s arc, particularly, the possession scene.

Adam, who has been physically and mentally abused his whole life, whose reoccurring fear is becoming a man like his father, is forced to live out one of his worst nightmares. While under the demon’s control, he viciously and violently attacks his friends.

“‘Fight back,’ Adam growled at Ronan, thin, desperate, an animal dragged by the neck. At the same time that his voice protested, though, his body jammed Ronan’s back against a trunk of a pine tree. ‘Hit me. Knock me down!’“

Now, this alone was sufficient to leave me a soggy, slushy, overflowing tub of emotion. But of course - there was more.

Because next, is everyone’s reaction to Adam’s sudden and violent possession. Or rather, their overall lack of reaction. Faced with an Adam who is under the control of a angry demon, an Adam who is dangerous, whose body is being used to hurt them, the gang’s initial response is inaction. Because even if Adam is dangerous, even if he is being used against them, they can’t bring themselves to harm him.

“Every beat of Ronan’s heart was an articulated part in a collapsing train. He grabbed Adam’s wrists. They felt frail, snappable, cold. The choice was death or hurting Adam, which wasn’t much of a choice at all.”

Being in Ronan’s head in this moment absolutely slayed me, and then seeing everyone elses’ reactions left me nothing more than an inarticulate puddle of feelings. Because even as Adam pleads for them to put a stop to his rampage,

“’Stop me!’ Adam begged.”

“’Just hit me,’ Adam said miserably. ‘Don’t let me do this.’”

They do everything in their power to avoid hurting him, avoid hitting him.

It seemed it should have been simple: There were four of them, one of Adam. But none of them wanted to hurt Adam Parrish, no matter how violent he had become.”

And it was HERE, RIGHT HERE that I became incapable of handling the emotions bombarding me and ascended to a higher plane of existence (probably)

Because in this moment, when Adam has given them every reasonable excuse to use force against him, when he has gone so far as to beg them to hit him, his friends refuse to do so. Adam who has spent nearly his entire life in a home with a father who hit him, who was cruel to him, who hurt him simply because he could, finally, finally has a family who treats him with kindness.

A family, self-made, who loves him unabashedly for who he is, who wants to protect him, who cares about him unconditionally, and who would never, ever, under any circumstances hurt him, not even when he asks them to. A family who is finally motivated to throw all of their efforts into stopping him, not by his violent acts against them, but when he begins to harm himself.

“Quick as a cat, it scratch-scratch-scratched at his own face. Blood beaded instantly. It was digging harder. Punishing.

‘No,’ Gansey said. He could not bear it. He ran at Adam.”

AND EVEN THEN, as they are finally containing Adam, restraining his hijacked limbs, it is not a violent act. In fact, all parties seem to be concerned only for Adam’s well-being.

“As Adam jerked his wrist in Henry’s grasp - ‘Stop, you idiot, you’re going to break it!’ - and knocked his fist back against Gansey’s teeth - ‘You’re okay, Adam, we know it’s not you!’ - Ronan wrapped his arms around Adam, pinning Adam’s upper arms against him.”

When Adam is finally contained, it is by Ronan, and instead of a violent act, it is much closer to an embrace.

tl;dr Adam finally has the family he deserves and I am a gelatinous glob of feelings.

9

favorite character meme: five episodes [1/5] → 3x09 “a dangerous deal”

6

Her pure heart will cleanse mine.

2

Marathoning Jericho for the last day of the year, so you may get more posts like this.

I’ve seen this show a million times and I still can’t get over these shots.  You know they’ve been through hell.  I tried to write about it and it ended up being rated for extreme violence.  At this point, they’ve probably been in the trunk for 12+ hours.

And somehow, my brain sees them as delicate and beautiful.

My poor deputy babies.

Some Gansey Thoughts

– Gansey rarely wears T-shirts but his favorite sleep shirt is an oversized JSTOR shirt he received in a swag bag while at a Medieval history conference in Boston. He’s worn it so much that the neckline is so stretched out that when Gansey wears it the shirt keeps slipping off his shoulders. Blue keeps trying to steal the shirt for Reasons.
– Despite not wearing T-shirts Gansey has a whole row of them hanging in his closet. They’re mostly joke shirts from Ronan, Adam, Blue, and Henry. On the epic gap year trip Henry bought them all matching shirts in almost every place they stopped and Gansey can’t bear to get rid of them (he’s a sentimental packrat). (Blue makes her T-shirts into a giant quilt).
– Before they left Henrietta Blue commissioned Ronan to dream up a shirt for Gansey. It was a white T-shirt with “I Left My ❤ in Henrietta” written on it. This is Gansey’s second favorite T-shirt and he wears it when he feels homesick (Ronan used his dream magic to make the shirt smell like home).
– Ronan also dreamed up another parting gift for Gansey: a snow globe with a tiny version of Henrietta inside. Naturally the snow globe had lots of glitter.

YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH "IF I HAD WINGS" IT IS AN AMAZING MOVIE AND STARS RICHARD HARMON

FIRSTLY, THIS MOVIE IS SO AMAZING AND SERIOUSLY I WAS SO INTO IT I WAS CHEERING BY THE END. NO JOKE. FIRSTLY, LETS TALK PLOT.

ITS ABOUT A BLIND BOY, NAMED ALEX AND PLAYED BY RICHARD HARMON

(this cutie btw)

AND HIS DREAM IS TO RUN TRACK FOR HIS HIGH SCHOOL. BUT HE’S HAVING TROUBLES ACCOMPLISHING THIS DREAM DUE TO HIS LACK OF SIGHT. EVERYONE IS ALL LIKE YOU’RE KIDDING BRO SORRY NO CAN DO UNTIL HIS DAD (TOTALLY AWESOME FATHER FIGURE BTW HE IS ALWAYS ENCOURAGING ALEX NO MATTER WHAT) IS ALL LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT? IMMA GET YOU ON THAT TEAM. SO THE COACH TELLS THE DAD THAT HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO RUN WITH HIM AND HIS DAD FINDS THE PERFECT GUY. 

(also a cutie and his name is Brad)

SO THEY TRAIN TOGETHER AND THE COACH IS LIKE ALRIGHT YOU PROVED ME WRONG LETS DO THIS AND THEY RUN TOGETHER AT TRACK MEETS UNTIL THEY GET REALLY GOOD. THEN SOME DOUCHE TRIES TO MESS THINGS UP. ALEX IS DETERMINED TO BEAT HIM IN THE NEXT MEET WITH BRAD’S HELP.

BUT BRAD AND ALEX HAVE A BIT OF A FALLING OUT THE NIGHT BEFORE AND BRAD MIGHT DECIDE NOT TO SHOW. 

BUT SERIOUSLY THIS MOVIE NEEDS TO GET SO MUCH MORE ATTENTION IT WAS SO GOOD AND IT WAS SO NICE SEEING A PERSON WITH A DISABILITY AS THE MAIN CHARACTER AND HAVE THEM COPE WITH THAT AND BE THE BEST THEY CAN BE BECAUSE THEY WONT LET IT SLOW THEM DOWN. NOT TO MENTION THE GREAT CAST I JUST MEAN EVERYONE WAS PLAYED SO WELL AND I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS OVER THIS MOVIE. YOU CAN RENT IT OR BUY IT ON AMAZON OR TRY WATCHING IT SOMEWHERE ELSE.