so's your mum

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #25
  • Dan: *wins another Dan vs. Phil*
  • Phil: all or nothing

* Wait no let me do it again


Title: Let me show you

Warnings: smut
A /N: this may be pretty non-canon as to me this episode aired a long time ago so I’m sorry if it’s sort of confusing. Also I haven’t written smut since the dinosaurs walked the earth, so bare with me.

You and Ivar have been friends practically forever. Aslaug was best friends with your mum so when you were born , your homes almost molded together and the person you latched onto the most was Ivar. You both were a lot older now but your friendship was still strong.

Both of you were sitting at the table in the Lothbrok’s home, talking about simple things, but you knew something was off about Ivar, he was nervous and upset about something but he didn’t want to tell you which made you even more worried about him. “You can tell me anything, Ivar you know that.” You said softly but he didn’t reply. After a silence you decided to get up and stand next to the window, tired of Ivar’s quiet behavior.

“‘If I told you he would hurt me” you heard Margrethe say faintly. You didn’t really like her, not because of her being a slave but the way Ivar was close to her, the way she didn’t appreciate him the way he deserved to be. “Tell me what?” That was Sigurd, you knew his voice well. She said something but it was too faint to hear before there was a quick pause. “That he can not satisfy a woman…” You heard her say and you scoffed slightly, anger rising slowly in you.

“Ivar come with me” you said to him while walking towards him, touching his arm, your hand slinking down to his, tugging his arm lightly. As you got into the room, Ivar pulled himself onto the bed before you straddled him, Ivar looking almost nervous, but you could see lust forming in them “y/n, what are you doing?” You looked at him with sincere eyes before breathing out. You told him what you heard Margrethe saying to Sigurd, the lust transforming to fire but you quickly grabbed his head and made him look at you, “what she said doesn’t matter. “That doesn’t make you the man you are. What makes you, you is your flaws and what your flaws do is make you strong. You are the strongest man I know” you tell him as his eyes waver from yours “and I want to show you.”

You leaned down and kissed him softly, Ivar slowly kissing back until he put his hands on your waist, trying to make it deeper, but you pulled away, his lips chasing yours. you began taking off your shirt before Ivar grabbed your arm, “I can’t y/n. I can’t- I can’t be a man for you. I can’t satisfy you the way you deserve. I want you but-”

You kissed his forehead. “I want this. I want you, I want all of you because you’re you no matter what and besides” you said playfully slowly laying him down onto the bed. “There’s many ways to please a woman.” Taking off your shirt, you leant down and helped Ivar with his, before your hands softly grazed his chest, fueling him with the confidence he needed. His hands glided down your back before he firmly squeezed your bum, slightly pushing you into a kiss again. It was heated and fast, your hands raked through his soft plush hair as he groaned from the slight tugging before he let go of your lips for air.

Without warning, Ivar pushed you onto the bed with surprising strength, soon after attacking your neck with kisses and bites as he tugged on your pants, you helping both of you out of your respectable garments. Ivar’s bites and kisses soon traveled to your chest where he softly squeezed your breasts and kissed the skin around and between them, making you giggle softly. “You seem very interested, love” you said playfully under shallow breaths.

“Beautiful women like you moaning under me isn’t something I get to see every day” He flirted. “You haven’t made me moan yet Ivar, but I am waiting” you teased, but your attitude was cut short as two of his fingers went in between your legs, rubbing your clit slowly before one finger entered you, curling his knuckle up and pumping his finger slowly with talent. The kisses slowly began drifting in between your legs until Ivar began to nip at the inside of your thighs, leaving hickies as he did. “Ivar please” you whined, your hand already gripping his hair as your hips slightly lifted from the bed.

After what felt like forever he softly licked your fold making you gasp before he inserted two fingers into you, continuing to curl them as he sucked your clit lightly and the area around it. You knew you were close from the pit forming in your stomach, making you gasp and moan as you tried to press him down a little harder onto yourself. “Ivar I’m- oh my God I’m coming” as you climaxed around his quick fingers. He helped you ride out your orgasm before pulling his digits out and sucking the juices off teasingly, scooting up to lay next to you. You nudged him, your hand sliding down to his waist before he softly grabbed it “you… you don’t need to do anything for me” he said softly “I’m here for you, I’ll always be here for you since you’re always here for me”. He squeezed your hand reassuringly as you kissed his forehead and pet his hair lovingly as he laid his head on your shoulder. “thank you” he said softly before falling asleep in your arms.

Old Xian: “#19天# 春节长假结束了,我回来啦~今天正式开工!我要努力工作继续画故事,新的一年开始啦!”

Trans: “#19days# Spring Festival holiday is over, I come back ~ Today officially started! I want to work hard to continue to draw the story, the new year began!”


Overprotective.//Draco x Reader.

Title: Overprotective.

Prompt/Requests: “I swear to God, if you lay a bloody finger on Person B, I will kill you.”

Prompt 15, please with Draco. Person B is reader :)

#15, person B the reader with Draco please and thank you!!
Paring: Draco x Reader.

Warning(s): None?

A/N:Okay, imma prommot myself again(; if you guys want you can follow my harry potter instagram. it’s baby.draco. it’s a account for all my edits and if you guys want to reqeust some, you can dm requests to me ig??? but yeah. thanks you guys! AND THANKS FOR ALMOSY 1K OMG

 Draco was overprotective. He cared too much, and that’s what scared him. Caring too much about someone he could easily lose.

 So, when your mum and dad had decided to put you on a mission with a boy you barley knew, it scared him. You were scared, knowing you have different powers, since you were half-mermaid and half-wizard, many things could go wrong. When Draco had met the poor lad, he scared him. Draco managed to scare the lad more than he had scared Draco.

 Sighing you sat beside Draco, you had put on a pair of black skinny jeans, a grey crop top with the words ‘Rad.’ printed on it, Draco was dressed in his usual black suit, which made your eyebrow raise, “You look beautiful.” He smiled, you gave him a soft smile, “Thanks love,” you leaned your head on his shoulder, which made him look down at you, “Don’t scare him off.” you whisper as you move to hold his hand, “No promises.” Draco muttered. You’re mum and dad had been death eaters ever since they were able to talk, and when you were born, you were instantly a deatheater. For as long as ypu rememebered you were always forced into family traditions. And going on a mission with a fellow deatheater who you didn’t know, but hopefully you’d marry, was one of them, and it wasn’t one you wanted to be a part of.

 When your partner, Kylo, walked in Dracos hand instantly tighten. You let go of his hand, and walked to the room you had your stuff in. It was only a small bag with two days worth of clothes. You looked around the room, knowing very well you could die, but you also knew you wouldn’t die.

 You started walking into the room you left Draco and Kylo. You overheard what Draco was telling poor Kylo.

 “I swear to God if you lay a bloody finger on Y/N, I will kill you.” You smiled at Dracos protectiveness. Walking in acting as if you heard nothing, you hugged Draco, smelling his cologne. “I love you.” You whispered, he smiled as he help onto your waist, “I love you too.” He let go, smiling down at you, “Be safe.” You rolled your eyes and nodded, “When am I not?” you asked, and he rolled his eyes, making you smile.

sext: i scrape my teeth across your neck and deliberately leave a bruise so your mum will notice. you imprint your hands onto my hips, the shape of your fingers on the soft swells of me. like this, we mark each other, ink drops on diary pages. we eat each other whole and somehow, this too, is poetry. 


ur damn right chara’s Mad. 

  • Me: *carries item out from stockroom* would you like a hand to your car?
  • Customer: Oh yes please, is there a man who could take it out for me?
  • Me: I can do it.
  • Customer: Oh no, it's heavy! You can't do that!
  • Me: I literally just carried it from the stockroom...

anonymous asked:

Dad talking about what boy i'll bring home and then Mum suddently says:"Boys,girls...She can bring a girl home too,who knows.Her choice.A tall,blonde beautiful girl,if she likes."My dad:"It'd disgust me,honestly"Me:"I'd prefer the girl"and i could feel my mum smiling at me.Never been so happy.Thank you mum.

that was so nice of your mum wow ❤