Netflix: “This is Tony.”
Netflix: “He has great hair. And wears a leather jacket.”
Netflix: “He’s also a mechanic. Working on Cars with his dad. Driving a mustang..”
Me: “Oh no.”
Netflix: “He’s also gay.”
Me: “He’s my son™ now and I’ll protect him with all my heart!”
You know why straight people shouldn’t be writing/drawing gay porn? They literally have no idea how the fuck it works. I mean literally. At best, most of them have watched some gay porn clips or used stills as references, but the problem is porn is unrealistic and quite unlike actual sex, which is something pretty much everyone acknowledges (or at least, we do when talking about straight porn and preaching sex-positivity to straight teenagers). So what you’re creating literally looks nothing like gay sex. It’s fake. It’s like if I wrote a story about a straight couple getting off by smacking each other in the face, and acted like that was the normal way straight people have sex. It’s generally based on harmful stereotypes or particularly risky sexual practices, but it’s also just… bad. Like you’re just straight up embarrassing yourselves.
But the bigger problem is what happens when this type of nsfw content pervades fandom spaces. When those depictions of sex are the only ones anybody sees, even the content creators who are too squeamish to look at live-action porn now have just as much if not more horrendously inaccurate reference material to use for even more bad content. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle.
This is so, so damaging to young LGBT kids (as well as straight kids, though less so). The number of kids I know who lurked in nsfw fandom spaces when they were young teens (because lbr those aren’t hard to access at all), who ended up with dramatically warped ideas of what sex looked like that actually had a huge negative impact on their lives once they became sexually active, is ridiculous. There’s a reason those of us who actually work with young people and specifically deal with the subject of their sexual health think it’s bad for teenagers to consume porn. Porn is unhealthy, and at an age when your sexuality is still fermenting those unhealthy ideas become deeply internalized very easily. It takes a lot to unlearn that.
For LGBT teens especially, who have far fewer resources to help them understand and explore their sexuality, what many adults might view as nothing more than a niche indulgence becomes a huge problem. I see so many kids on here groomed into engaging with (and often producing) incredibly messed up stuff, because the adults they share fandom spaces with told them it was normal and they shouldn’t listen to those repressive “antis,” and because they had no alternatives. What type of sex people look at online is going to affect how they conceptualize their sexual desires, and how they try to go about having sex. The internet isn’t somehow cordoned off from the real world. Like it or not, it’s a part of real life now, and you’re going about it by throwing garbage at a demographic of kids who are the most vulnerable. Have fun jerking off to that.
DCB: I was watching her interview when she addressed her Elle cover. And she says that she felt good that they wanted to focus on her face. I feel like women of color are forced to be their own spin doctors, but to appease the world. Like WOC are forced to focus on one good thing. Or what’s easy for others to swallow. Am I making sense?
HN: Yaasss, absolutely.
DCB: Like, as a kid it was about owning my good skin, or, like, thick hair! Or some bullshit like that. Now it’s, like, “eyebrows.”
HN: Lmaooo, yo you right — eyebrows are in.
DCB: When white girls tell me not to pluck, it’s like, I’m too lazy to pluck. My bushy eyebrows are the ones I was born with and I get a little sick when white women, unprompted, suggest I leave them the way they naturally are.
AS: Shout-out to every sperm-browed Becky who asked if I had caterpillars on my face in middle school but now spend their nights googling eyebrow implants/tints.
DCB: Exactly. Something about Mindy waxing about feeling good that they chose her face for the cover really set me off. Because I’ve done that too, my whole life.
HN: Yes, please speak on it!
DCB: Like, I had to own the compliments that were given to me rather than just feel everything I was as a whole woman. The amount of moms at soccer practice who loved my thick hair or people always tell me I should wear more color because colors look good on me.
AS: Wow, really heavy thinking about how much of that was part of my life that I just took for granted. For a long time I just assumed adults commenting on your body and touching it without your permission was just part of American culture. Only recently have I learned it’s not something I should/ever should have put up with.
DCB: Another one: dark rings under my eyes. The amount of people that ask me if I’m tired all the time. I’ve never once covered the dark rings under my eyes, and worse is when white girls are like, “No that’s in”
HN: (You can’t hear me right now but I keep just saying “Mmmm” to myself and feeling all emotional.) OMG the deep-set eyes thing!
DCB: I never get my makeup done. I also barely wear any makeup, but when someone else does it, the first thing they do is put some white stuff under my eyes and smudge.
AS: White people don’t have a frame of reference for our beauty; they wile out. Here we’re talking about growing up having white people rationalize our looks to themselves, framing their unsolicited commentary as a compliment we’re supposed to be grateful for. To be constantly put in a position to thank them for the white gaze applied to us. To be the source of their confusion is so grating; it’s dehumanization to be treated like a novelty rather than an equal.
HN: And all that time you spend being a source for their confusion really warps your mind. I remember the first time I ignored my mom and insisted that I get my hair done at a “regular” hair cuttery and feeling just so not human after I left. The fashion and beauty world in general just makes me feel so fundamentally not human.
DCB: My mom is Anglo-Indian so she’s got all kinds of bomb roots, but we look sorta nothing alike. And when people see her, they’re like, “She’s so white!” It always makes me mad. Like my roots surprise other people, like I’m just supposed to be Bollywood brown or something.
AS: A lot of the compliments I get from white people have been like when Regina George does a suspicious once-over and says, “You’re like, really pretty” and the implied “Howw whyyy?” hangs in the air. Honestly that there’s no frame of reference for WOC beauty that isn’t highly warped is so damaging because that’s why there are so many young South Asians who date white people and consider themselves lucky for being able to “get one.” Because they don’t consider themselves attractive, and learned not to find each other attractive, they so often don’t even know how to. It’s the oppression of invisibility. And the visibility is a fun-house mirror. Hollywood regularly asexualizes South Asian men, treating them as dickless jokes, while hypersexualizing South Asian women, preserving their availability for white men.
‘I think black girls are ugly…except for the gorgeous light skins.’
Misogynoir is hatred directed towards black women. The word was first coined by a queer black feminist scholar, Moya Bailey, in 2010 as a way to address the misogyny black women faced in American visual and popular culture. One thing that doesn’t make sense to me is how black men think it is perfectly okay to bash black women. As a race that’s always being made fun of, we need to stick together. The last thing we need or want is to all turn against each other, because that’s what our oppressors want.
Misogynoir is so damaging because so many young black people are on social media, and if they see tweets like these:
“It ain’t that black girls ugly, it’s just I can’t talk to a girl darker than me.“
"White girls don’t talk back. Put a little aggression in your voice and she’ll do whatever you say.”
“Black girls are so ugly it actually makes me upset.”
…they will begin to think that they’re not good enough and could start trying to modify themselves until they look the way society deems fit. It will plant a seed of internal racism and thoughts like these can carry on for generations.
For centuries, black women have been experiencing misogynoir. Experiences can range from people saying that you’re 'quite pretty for a black girl’ to realising that Amazon is making a profit from a book titled 'I Hate Black Women’. The author of the book claims that black women are the cause of the world’s problems. Misogynoir still exists today because of uneducated people inciting what they think is normal. This then leads to others seeing it as a pass to voice their racist views and not face repercussions.
In order to stop this, we must all be able to realise that black women are amazing. We’re important because without black women you wouldn’t have surveillance, overseas phone calls, we wouldn’t able to heat our houses in one go, nor would we be able to enjoy toast in the mornings. So before you say anything in disregard to black women and femmes, just remember how they’ve shaped the world around you.
When I see Emma Watson up there speaking about gender equality and feminism and women at the UN, it makes me absolutely cry with pride. She is brave. She is beautiful. She is 24 years old and she has done so much and she has never let fame consume her, control her, ruin her. She grew up in unbelievable circumstances, incredible fame and wealth and publicity and world-wide popularity, with paparazzi following her since she was eleven and her face on international magazines and rich as Croesus at such a young age. Anyone would think that it would be enough to lose her grip on reality; we see it so often with child stars, their lives derailed by fame, falling to drugs or drinking, and, one feels certain, unhappiness, that we’ve grown accustomed to the stories of Amanda Bynes and the Olsen twins and Macauley Culkin and Miley Cyrus. We’ve grown almost to expect that child stars will fly off the handle and fall off the bandwagon and stagger down dark paths because the limelight has warped and damaged them.
Emma Watson is so young and so intelligent and so unaffected by her fame, so incredibly down-to-earth, relatable–and yet at the same time, aware of her fame so that she can use it as an instrument for this cause she cares so much about. She is grace and strength and beauty and humility and intelligence. She cares, and she makes other people care. She uses the reach and scope of the voice that fame has given her to raise people’s attention and to speak and fight for women and girls, women and girls who need someone to speak and fight for them, and men too. She wields her position in the spotlight of society as a weapon against inequality and injustice.
I am so proud of her. I am so proud to say that she is my fandom girl, my first fandom girl. Our Harry Potter girl, grown up and making a difference and never forgetting where she came from or where she started or who she is underneath all the flash and froth of the celebrity world. In the name of all that’s good, let her amazing example encircle the world and inspire us all. This is how you grow up. This is how you stay true to who you are. This is a role model. This is a hero.
Zack was 18 when the Niebelheim mission happened. Which means he was 16 when he had to kill Angeal. People don’t seem to realise just how YOUNG Zack was. That’s why in a lot of tag derps I joke with ‘TEENAGERS UGH.’ Because that’s what Zack was. He wasn’t this grown sophisticated man, hardened with age. No— He was young. Reckless. Arrogant, but in the young way. He was so young… He was so young that it literally hurts me. I’m not even that much older than him. 5 years in that mako tank makes him 23 years old, but it didn’t age him mentally at all. He’s still that shaky 18 year old that got betrayed by his idol, by the man he called a close friend, almost KILLED by him. But he puts on his smile and his jokes because that’s what you do as a teenager. You shut all the hurt away and ignore it because if you don’t then you’ll just break down and cry. Like he did when Angeal died. I just can’t STAND it. He was so young and it’s not fair. Watching that sword pierce Aeris was sad, shocking, rage inducing even– but when Zack died I was BAWLING. I watched that boy mature. I felt his pain, his joy. I laughed at his excitable nature, remembering myself when I was his age. And just… It hurts so goddamn much I can’t stand it. He was a baby. Just a kid made to grow up faster then he should have. Being shot OVER AND OVER AGAIN MADE TO WITHSTAND IT BECAUSE HIS BODY WAS MADE TO HANDLE IT AND IT JUST PROLONGS HIS SUFFERING AND THAT BOY DIED WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE. THE SMILE OF A MAN THAT SAYS 'I’M DYING BUT THAT’S OKAY. I WANTED TO DIE A LONG TIME AGO. MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD AND I’LL GET TO SEE THEM AGAIN. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY SWORD CLOUD, I DID MY BEST TO PROTECT YOU. SAY HI TO MY GIRFLRIEND. I LOVE YOU MAN.’ I CAN’T FUCKING STAND IT
brought her bleeding and sobbing, ankles and wrists chained, dress
dirtied and ragged, eyes as wild as those of a starving lioness.
found her,” the King, Uchiha Fugaku, grumbled as he rose from his
throne. His hard, dark yes were fixed on her as she lay before him,
her blood seeping into the red carpet of the corridor.
my Lord,” one of the guards answered flatly, he and the others
inhuman behind their masks.
a nearby village, my Lord,” another guard said. “We heard from
the villagers that she did not live there. Apparently, she was a
nomad. She never stayed more than two days in a single place.”
course.” Fugaku walked down the steps and approached the girl
bleeding on his floor. He watched her gasp and claw at her chains,
weak, barely conscious. “She knew we were looking for her. She knew
she had to hide. I suppose she was not clever enough.”
is she so hurt?” the Queen, Uchiha Mikoto, questioned from her
smaller throne besides her husband’s. She seemed more bewildered than
fought back,” a third guard replied. “She is strong, even if she
does not look like she is. We had to tame her somehow.”
is fine.” Unceremoniously, Fugaku turned away and headed out of the
grand room. “Take her with someone who can heal, wash, and redress
her,” he ordered as he went. “Make her look presentable. She is,
after all, my soon-to-be daughter-in-law.”