so you can take that cookie

Guys, as some of you may know, BigHit’s official webpage ibighit.com got hacked today, please avoid visiting it since autoplay videos add to the # of views! As mentioned in this tweet here the hackers can easily track your information, so let’s avoid it for now and wait until bighit fix the problem, they might even take legal action. So yeah, don’t open the page, avoid visiting it, make sure to clear your cache and cookies as well, stay safe~

After the disaster of the first holo-deck training session, Shiro figured that starting out by individually coaching the paladins through the invisible maze would go smoother. So one at a time, he sends them all through. Pidge stands behind him and watches over his shoulder as Shiro tries to guide Lance through for what feels like the four hundredth time.
…Things aren’t going so well.

“This is a trust building exercise!” Lance complains. “I trust you! Can we just pretend I did it?”
Shiro closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Pidge grabs the com link from him.
“Keith got through the whole thing in four minutes and thirty nine seconds,” she tells him. “And now he’s in the kitchen with hunk. Eating cookies.”

Shiro can see Lance shrivel a bit below them, and turns to Pidge in pale shades of annoyance.

“I don’t think that’s going to—“ he begins, but Lance’s voice interrupts him.
“Four minutes and thirty nine seconds?”
“Yeah,” Pidge replies, inspecting her nails.

Lance beats his time by two point three seconds, and Pidge pats Shiro on the shoulder in a you’re-welcome kind of way.
“Spite is a powerful motivator,” she says, before wandering off in the direction of the kitchen.

“You found me. But you can’t catch me. I’m not one to be caught so easily…Catch me if you can, suckers…”

Meet “Crankywisp” the Imp-Like Demon version of @crankgameplays ! He may not have wings, but he can flip and jump high enough to avoid capture, His claws are sharp, and can cling onto the rockiest surfaces to keep a watchful eye out for food. His best pal is the wisp of fire between his horns that takes on the form of a firey cog when he holds it in his hands. 

They say if you catch him, he gets SUPER LOUD!!! And the only way to quiet him is to give him cookies and something to to with it, mainly milk. But coffee is good too.

Just don’t pull his tail. He hates that.

(I drew the rocks myself!)

When magic starts to return to the modern world, barely anyone notices. It doesn’t look anything like what we imagine. People don’t suddenly start developing magic powers, casting spells, or turning into elves and dwarves. In fact, people don’t really change at all, not at first.  It turns out that the magic isn’t even here for us. It’s here for what we’ve built. 

The change is slow, and subtle, and strange, as the magic works its way into our institutions. You mail letters to dead relatives, and the post office starts delivering their replies. Late-night bus routes stop at places never seen on any atlas. Libraries suddenly include subterranean archives where you can look anything you’ve ever forgotten, from the names of your favorite childhood books to the precise flavor of your first-ever chocolate chip cookie. 

The people working at these places take the changes in stride. The letters from the dead just show up every morning, sorted and stamped and ready for delivery, so why not carry them? Bus drivers follow the maps they’re given without trouble, and learn to accept even small gold coins as more than adequate fare. Electricians get used to seeing warding symbols in circuit diagrams, while clerks at the DMV find a stack of forms for registering ghostly steeds as personal vehicles, and sigh in relief at finally having that particular bureaucratic headache solved. The firefighters are shocked the first time they see a giant of living water burst out from a hydrant, but after it rescues several of them from a burning building, they decide not to ask questions. They tell their stories to others, though, and soon word of the changes is spreading. 

There’s no single moment of realization where everyone discovers that magic is real; the knowledge just creeps into day to day life a bit at a time, and society adapts. Cyber-safety programs teach people to never accept a file from the electric fairies without sharing one in return, and to never accept their Terms and Conditions without searching for the subsection on Souls, Forfeiture Thereof. Students leave offerings of coffee and boxed wine to petition the School Spirit for lower tuition or exam deferrals. Nurses learn the hours when Death stalks the hospital hallways, and keep bedside vigils in the children’s ward. They bring board games and cards for when the reaper is feeling playful, and well-worn baseball bats for when he isn’t. 

There are problems, of course, like the vicious monsters of blood and fire spawned from age-old hate groups, or infestations of the writing many-mouthed worms that literally feed on governmental corruption, but really, they were already there before the change. Magic only elaborates on what we’ve made, good or ill, manifesting the latent modern mythology underpinning our society. It doesn’t offer solutions to all of life’s problem, but for a few hurting people, guarded by the concrete arms of a neighborhood come to life to protect its community, or flying away on wings of copper wire and fiber-optic cable, it’s exactly the change they needed. 

a while ago i was reading old stories from people who met brendon many many years ago and i just remembered my favorite ones

  • someone saying “i love you” to him when he was getting water on stage and him replying “Believe me, I love you too”
  • someone asking him to smile in the photo and him replying “I do not smile, i’m so emo”
  • him telling someone “you’re one of the prettiest girls i’ve ever met, but i’m definitely the prettiest girl here”
  • someone taking cookies to the concert and brendon asking if he can have some and then just taking the whole box and walking away
  • someone randomly meeting him with his pants down?? i have?? no context for that other than he was also drinking a capri sun

perks of being my girlfriend

1) I will buy you hella cute lingerie 
2) You are welcome to model said lingerie for me, preferably while sitting in my lap
3) I will bake you cookies and make you pizza and we can cuddle and watch netflix stuff
4) I’ll take you on boring dates like to farmer’s markets and farms and hiking but i will try to spice things up a bit and probably eat you out on a boulder in the forest so yeah
5) We can have cute sleepovers like every night and i will paint your nails and do your makeup and play with your hair and we will stay up late and talk about life and space and feminism and basically anything you want
6) When you’re on your period, I will take baths with you and take care of you and feed you chocolate and cuddle you if you cry and omg
7) I’ll text you funny selfies and songs that i want you to listen to and stuff that makes me think of you
8) I’ll play goofy games with you and take you shopping and take you to the movies and wine and dine you every single fucking night if that’s what you want
9) We can raise plants together and lots of puppies and kittens
10) Okay i’m really sad now and i want a girlfriend

Critical Pastries + Sensory Deprivation

(Our party just got invited into an old lady’s house for tea and baked goods.)

DM: “She serves tea and uh…cookies or crumpets, I dunno. Whatever.”

Sorcerer: “Can I roll Investigation on whether they’re cookies or crumpets?”

DM: “…it doesn’t matter.”

Sorcerer: *rolls anyway, gets Nat20* “ARE THEY COOKIES OR CRUMPETS?”

DM: “…they’re sugar cookies, okay?”

// BONUS //

(We later find out this old lady is blind, and the aforementioned sorcerer is a chaotic evil dragonborn, so as everyone’s about to leave…)

DM: “You guys also realize as she’s feeling around in a kitchen cabinet that she is entirely blind.”

Orc Barbarian (very Neutral): “Okay. I don’t know what to do with this information, but can I ask her if I can take some cookies to go?”

Sorcerer (Chaotic Evil): “…do I have advantage on Sleight of Hand? Is there even anything in here worth stealing?”

(There was advantage but nothing to take. The Barbarian took some cookies.)

DM: “Okay, so you guys are ready to go?”

Rest of party: “Yeah I suppose.”

Sorcerer: “…she’s totally blind, right?”

DM: *already getting worried* “Yes…”

Sorcerer: “I cast Deafness on her too as we leave. It’s like we vaporized into thin air.”

DM: “This poor lady.”

monsta x and their christmas pick-up line

Minhyuk: “Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?

Wonho: “Shouldn’t you be on top of the tree, Angel?

Kihyun: “Even Santa doesn’t make candy as sweet as you.

I.M.: “Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas.

Jooheon: “Are you Christmas, because I want to Merry you.

Hyungwon: “If i was the Grinch, I wouldn’t steal Christmas. I’d steal you.

Shownu: “I like milk and cookies but I would rather have you.”

  • Atsushi: Well, I’d better get home and rescue Kunikida. He’s watching Kyouka tonight, and I have a feeling there’s only so much he can take.
  • Tanizaki: Oh, Kunikida and Kyouka? I bet they ended up having a blast!
  • (at Atsushi’s apartment)
  • Kunikida: Dear god, there’s only so much I can take. We have to change the system. Fourteen is too old to be babysat, it’s not fair on her.
  • Atsushi: …What’d she make you do?
  • Kunikida: First, we listened to aggressively cheerful music by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough and.. talked about boys.
Hour Eight : Candy

Prompt : “Damian! You can’t threaten people to get candy!”

A/N : 8 out of 24

Pairing : Damian Wayne x Batmom

[•] [•] [•]

It was Damian’s first Halloween and like any parent, you couldn’t wait to take your son out trick-or-treating. But there was just one tiny problem….

“You know he won’t go willingly, right?” Bruce said, glancing down at you as you both watched Damian munch happily on some of Alfred’s cookies.

“I know,” you groaned, pouting, “why do all of your sons have to be so complicated?”

“All of my sons?” Bruce questioned incredulously, “They’re yours as much as they’re mine.”

You shrugged with pursed lips, “But they got your broodiness.”

He couldn’t deny that.

“Miss. Wayne, if I may,” Alfred said, cutting into yours and you husband’s conversation. “Perhaps you should ask the boy before you make such assumptions. Master Damian is as unpredictable as Master Bruce when he was a child. His response just might surprise you.”

You nodded and your eyes narrowed determinedly, “You’re right, Alfred.”

“When is he never right.” Bruce muttered, which your ignored.

You placed a cheerful smile on your face and strolled over to Damian. You sat beside him and waited patiently for him to finish chewing.

Once he noticed you were there, he raised an eyebrow, “Mother? What is it? And why do you look like Grayson when he’s about to persuade me into doing something utterly idiotic?”

You didn’t answer his questions, instead you said, “Get dressed in your Robin attire tonight, Dami.”

“But I cannot go patrolling tonight.” Damian said, confused. Today was a Monday, which meant he had school tomorrow and one of the rules you made when Dick became Robin was that he couldn’t go patrolling on the weekdays.

“It’s not for patrolling, Damian.” Bruce spoke up, and realization hit your son like a bus.


Later that night, the whole family was waiting for you two to get back home. The boys mostly because they thought you had made Damian dressed up as some really embarrassing character.

Heads snapped towards the front door and in came you and a frowning Damian.

“I do not see what the problem is, mother.” Damian said, scowling, “I was getting candy just like you demanded me to.”

“Damian! You can’t threaten people to get candy.” You stressed, “They could sue us for that, and your father already has enough on his plate.”

“But I got the candy, did I not?” Damian frowned, confusingly.

You softened at the sight. You sometimes forget he was raised by the League of Shadows by how different he acted around you.

A proud smile appeared on your lips, “The most out of everyone from what I can tell!” You boasted, ruffling his hair.

The gleam of happiness in his eyes after you praised him was indescribable. It was worth every penny in your bank account.

Christmas with Dan

Christmas with Dan would include:

Baking cookies with Dan aka a perfect little disaster

“Dan you can’t eat all of the dough already!”

(we have all seen the baking videos) but the cookies always taste delicious in the end

lots of Christmas decoration

(so much that no room in the flat doesn’t look super festive)

getting excited when it snows

(like freaking out and running outside in just pjs)

going window shopping

“are you cold, baby?”

“maybe a bit”

him rubbing warmth into your hands and warming your cold cheeks with kisses

Dan in a beanie

drinking lots of tea and hot chocolates with marshmallows

Dan observing you when he takes you shopping to know what he should get you

visiting your families

“one can never have enough Christmas jumpers”

wrapping lots of presents

(dan really needs your help with that. left handed, remember?)

“oh is that a mistletoe?? I totally didn’t see that. What a convenience!”

“Dan, you are literally holding that thing above our heads. .., okay, fine. Kiss me you dork”

lots of lazy days in bed, just cuddling

(c’mon it’s so cold outside and it’s so warm in bed)

dan in a freaking beanie, again!

getting Phil all kinds of stupid presents

you decorating the lower half of the Christmas tree while he decorates the top half because you can’t reach

“why do you always get to put the star on top?!”

“here, let me lift you up, baby”

lots of cheesy Christmas movies

cooking Christmas dinner with Dan (a little disaster again)

playing games with Dan’s family on Christmas Eve

 waking up on Christmas morning just as excited as when you were ten

singing every Christmas song you know together

him getting you exactly what you wanted (+ self- made coupons for back massages)

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas, Dan.”  

A/N: Merry Christmas from me! It really is the most wonderful time of the year. This is a little present 🎁 for you. I hope you like it (it can’t be returned haha) I also hope you have a super lovely day. 🎄💕
Bokuroo headcanons | Winter

- Bokuto absolutely loves winter. It’s his favorite season; the snow, hot drinks, big scarfes, warm beds, more cuddles and just christmas time in general. Kuroo prefers spring but falls in love with the season over and over again when he watches bokuto, playing in the snow like he’s five again, baking some cookies, laying on the couch with five blankets, giving him kisses on his red nose.

- They’re the cutest couple ever, esp. when it’s cold?? Because you can always see them holding hands, snuggling in the library, giving each other warm kisses, exchanging hugs, drinking hot chocolate from starbucks.. they’re just so adorable and even have matching hats!! One time kuroo forgot his gloves and they did that sappy thing where one takes the left glove and the other takes the right one and they just hold hands in the middle so they both have warm hands.

- To come back to kuroo preferring spring: he just dislikes it when it’s too cold. I mean bokuto is a big help but sometimes when he’s in class he freezes so he actually takes a blanket with him. The teachers aren’t amused but after discussing it with all of them they just gave up and let him do his thing. (Just imagine a big goof sitting in the class w/ a blanket that has a cute cat print??)

- Bokuto is like the master of snowball fights and always wins. When he and kuroo match up no one can stop them. Iwaoi once attempted to fight em but they lost and gave up. They had to treat bokuroo for a coffee and some warm chocolate chip cookies in their nearest bakery. (Iwaizumi swears that he and his bf will win next time. Kuroo and bokuto just laughed.)

Deity witch tip

Deities can communicate with you in all different ways! Sometimes it’s glimpsing an animal associated with them, or a flash of color. Sometimes it’s that gut feeling that feels influenced by something stronger than yourself. Other times… it’s a fortune cookie voice telling you to keep driving cause you’ll find closer parking. I’ll take it.

To the seven - Childhood Crush ?
  • Leo : Yesssss !!!
  • Leo : The 10 dollars I found in the basement
  • Leo : I couldn't take my eyes off
  • Everyone : ....
  • Jason : No one honestly . I was too busy being praetor
  • Piper : GOOD BOY HAVE A COOKIE
  • Frank : Umm Lily James when I was in 8th grade *blushes*
  • Hazel : ..... Sammy ?
  • Percy : Well -
  • Leo : You better be careful aquaman
  • Annabeth : Please Leo I'm not THAT immatured almost everyone has a childhood crush and it's nothing abnormal so stop scaring him besides if you can be dolleo then everything is possible
  • Percy : ......
  • Percy : like......lukabeth?

bellegirl  asked:

Hello Mister, Just got lost in the hunt for the answer "do you have a little?" Your link to a link to a link made me dizzy but it made me laugh. What a fun game. I'm not a little but I enjoy following your blog. You're so kind and sweet and you really do have great advice that is applicable for any D/s relationship, not just the DD/lg type. Thanks for taking care of all those sweet littles out there. You are fun and sweet and wise and you have a great beard. -bellegirl

Thank you very much.

What many don’t know or may sometimes forget is that I was a Dom before I was a daddy, and I have many years experience.

I can just as easily tie you up and slap you around as I could make you cookies and cuddle in a blanket fort.

Or both. Aftercare is important after all.

‘tis the season.

Omega: *practicing on the couch in the living room*

Omega: *hears the doorbell ring* ughhhh.

Omega: *opens the door* yes? oh, uh, hello there..

kid 1: hey there mister! w…..woah he’s wearing a mask.

kid 2: COOL!!

kid 1: it’s so weird!

Omega: you’ll get over it. can I help you two with something?

kid 1: *is pulling a wagon behind them* we’re selling girl scout cookies! would you like to buy some? we have snickerdoodle, chocolate mint, chocolate chip, double fudge, s'mores-

Omega: oooooooh haha. no thank you. too much sugar makes me go a bit crazy. we won’t be taking any of those, good luck th-

Alpha: *slams hand on the door as Omega tries to close it* HOLD ON.

Omega: *groans* this is what I was trying to avoid….

kid 2: hey, that guy is wearing a mask too!!

kid 1: you know Halloween is like 8 months away, right?

Alpha: ay don’t sass me ya little turnip. now, what do ya got here?

kid 2: we’re selling girl scout cookies! would you like to buy some?

Alpha: BOY WOULD I.

Omega: *sighs*

Alpha: shuddup

Omega: I didn’t even say anythin-

Alpha: SHUDDUP. alright you two pip squeaks, gimme all your shit.

Omega: Alpha! have some decency with the language. they’re children.

Alpha: pfft.

kid 1: what kind do you want? we got all kinds!!

Alpha: *crouches down on his knees* did…I….stutter?

kid 2: ……w…..what?

Alpha: *gets really close to her face* give. me. all. your. shit.

kid 2: but-

Alpha: GIMME ALL YA COOKIES. THIN MINTS. SNICKERDOODLES. TREFOILS. SAMOAS. DI-SI-DOS. SAVANNAH SMILES. TAGALONGS.

ALL. OF. IT.


kid 1: *starts unloading the wagon* *murmurs to self* sheesh. you don’t have to tell me twice.

kid 2: what about the “ra-ra-raisins”?

Alpha: ugh. nah fuck dat. I don’t want the healthy shit.

Omega: …..and how do you suppose we’re going to pay for all of these?

Alpha: uh, with tour money? pfft, what a dumb question.

Omega: that’s not very responsible!

Alpha: UHMMM. actually it is. we paid the electricity bill already. we paid the water bill already. we’ve made so much bank on merch alone. we don’t start touring again for another 3 weeks. so for the time being, I’m going to enjoy life. sitting on the couch, eating cookies, and getting fat as fuck. unlike some people.

kid 2: alright mister! that’ll be $225!!

Omega: *through gritted teeth* are you serious…

Alpha: serious as a heart attack!

Omega: which you’re going to end up having once you start to eat all these!

Alpha: nah.

Omega: how did you kids find our house anyway, we live in the middle of the woods.

Alpha: don’t question them! they’re determined! and they came to the right place. you guys should come back next week!

Omega: NO!

kid1/kid 2: YEAH!! *giggle as they run away with empty wagon*

Papa: *flies down the stairs* what in the hell is going on down here? all I hear is bunch of Alpha’s sass and Omega yelling wh-

Papa: *gasps* THIN MINTS!!

Eren and Levi as parents:

I feel like Eren would be that parent that treats his child whereas Levi would be a (very) firm but fair(ish) parent like: “Daaaad. Please can I have a cookie?” “No. They’ll rot your teeth.” And then the child will go to his/her other father like: “Daaad. Please can I have a cookie?” “Okay baby,lets go get a cookie.” And then out of nowhere, you just hear the heavens open thinking it’s the second coming of Jesus “YOU BETTER NOT BE GIVING OUR SON/DAUGHTER THEM FUCKING COOKIES JAEGER!” So Eren just takes the whole jar and runs with his child in his arms to a pillow fort they made, thinking it would act as a force field.

Originally posted by jaegerbomb-eren

Christmas Amis

-Grantaire and Enjolras are made to wear a two person ugly Xmas sweater to “spend quality time together” so they don’t argue.

-The sweater gets passed around and everyone takes pictures in it. Marius even offers to get a 3 person one for Joly, Bossuet, and Musichetta next year.

-Feuilly gets a polaroid and takes so many pictures of everyone. He gives a lot of them to Enjolras to add to his growing collage of photos with his friends.

-Cosette and Bahorel bake cookies, but they get distracted and almost start a food fight in the kitchen while they’re goofing off. They end up with bombass gingerbread and spiked eggnog though.

-Jehan and Combeferre drew each other for secret Santa and somehow end up getting the same exact gift. It’s a book on African mythology, and they’re super psyched because they had planned on borrowing it when the other was done anyway.

-Courfeyrac just has part of a mistletoe with him and goes around kissing everyone with his hand raised above his head.

-Eponine rolls up with all of the party games: Cards Against Humanity, Uno, Telestrations.. the list goes on.

-Merry Christmas from Les Amis!

Carry On Countdown~Dec. 17th

-It is about three of four days before Christmas, so Simon wants to make cookies with his two favorite people

-Penny, Simon, and Baz are all making Christmas cookies together

-Penny is in because she has nothing better to do (and Simon)

-Simon is in because COOKIES, AM I RIGHT OR?! (And Baz)

-And, Baz is in because of Simon (and cookies are okay so)

-So, Penny and Simon want to use the dough you get from the bags in stores (Simon: so he can eat them quicker, and Penny: so this can be over with) but Baz will not let them (he is disgusted that they even thought that)

-Baz wants to make it from scratch, and Simon whines that it will take too long (but after Baz gets really close to Simon, and grabs his chin softly while smirking Simon gives in). Penny just grunts in response

-Baz starts to get into this whole baking Christmas cookies thing by bringing out his own apron, putting his hair back into a bun, and running the small kitchen (and Simon is dying because Baz is so hot, and making cookies is pretty hard)

-When they finally get around to cutting them into shapes Baz actually cuts his with a knife, and refuses to use the cookie cutters Simon bought (“Aww, come on Baz I spent like twenty dollars on all of these”)

-But it is okay because Simon decides to use a knife to cut one of his cookies, so that Baz has to help him (Baz gets behind Simon wrapping his arms around Simon’s, and looping their fingers together so he can “show” Simon how to do it. Baz doesn’t even realize what is happening until Simon turns his head and kisses Baz’s cheek. Which of course causes Baz to blush and smile)

-Penny cuts out three angles, one bell, and a tree

-Simon cuts out four snowflakes, and has just enough dough to shape a rectangle

-Baz perfectly cuts out a descriptive Christmas tree, two detailed snowflakes, an angle, and a circle (to make an ornament)

-Flour is everywhere. It’s on the floor. It’s on the counters. It’s on Simon’s hands, and it even ends up in Baz’s hair and on his apron in hand marks?! (*wink* *wink*)

-When they finally get the first tray of cookies into the oven Penny goes to use the restroom. When she comes back Baz and Simon are making out with Simon sitting on the counter (legs wrapped around Baz). And, Baz has his hands settles on Simon’s hips and his hair has suspiciously been taken down (Simon can’t take not running his hands through Baz’s silky locks)

-Even though Baz has some fun with Simon he makes sure the cookies are baked to perfection (which of course they are)

-When it finally come around to icing their masterpieces they all stand next to each other to share the different colors of icing Simon bough (“Snow, why did you buy literally all the colors of the rainbow in icing?”)

-Simon keeps bumping Baz with his hip, because he knows how serious Baz is taking this and just wants to be funny (so, when Baz yells at Simon for doing it all he can do is laugh hysterically)

-Simon keeps annoying Baz to stop using all the colors for so long, but really he think it is just adorable how much time and effort Baz is spending on it

-Baz can’t help but gaze at Simon as he desperately tries to make his cookies look decent with the icing (he keeps clumping it up in one corner of the cookie). So, Baz decides to help Simon again like he did with cutting out his cookie.

-Simon decides to ice a pride flag onto the rectangular cookie, and he is so proud (don’t tell Baz, but Penny did help him a bit with it. But, it is okay because Baz saw Penny slyly hand it back to Simon after she fixed his mistakes). So, when he holds it up to show Baz he just has this huge smile on his face and Baz can’t resist but peck his lips and rest his forehead on Simon’s (because god Baz has the cutest boyfriend in the world)

-Penny learns that she actually is really good at creating little designs with the icing, and she really enjoys it. Baz is really proud of her (and of course after the fact they share tips and tricks)

-After all the Christmas cookies are iced and ready to eat Penny goes to get her camera (to capture their beautiful masterpieces). When she gets back she finds that Simon has begun to eat the red icing by its self; causing him to now have a red colored mouth, and now Baz suspiciously also has a red colored mouth (*wink* *wink*)

-Penny takes a cute picture of Simon and Baz holding up the pride flag cookie, as they smile at the camera (she also catches one where they are lovingly gazing at each other, but still holding up the cookie)

-Simon and Baz split the flag cookie (they offered some to Penny, but she said it was okay)

-Bonus points for after the fact when Penny goes to her room and Simon and Baz clean up together. Resulting in water being splashed at each other, soapy hands running up and down now damp clothing, and of course nothing getting done because Simon and Baz can’t keep their eyes or hands off each other.


@carryon-countdown