so yeah kids: do as i say not as i do

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

a request!

reblog this post & in the tags talk about ur first Legit oc

Captain Steve Rogers, Lovecraftian Horror

Title: The Miskatonic Project
Rating: PG-13 for horror themes, death
Summary: Abraham Erskine may have invented something new with the Serum – or maybe he re-created something very old. Something…Elder.
Notes: I should be working on like three other fanfics but I had a TERRIBLE DREAM this afternoon and anyway this only took about half an hour to write.

***

Steve came out of the Vita-Ray machine…different. 

Of course he looked different – taller, thickly muscled, skin gleaming. But it wasn’t the change in his appearance so much as the…sensation people felt around him. Howard claimed not to feel it, and Erskine died before he could weigh in. Peggy felt it, but not in the way others did. To her, he seemed otherworldly, but like an angel or a religious vision – comforting under a layer of unreality. She even liked the strange black pupils he’d developed, so big and dark you could hardly see the whites of his eyes at all. 

Others, however…. 

She didn’t see him pull the Hydra agent out of the submarine after Erskine’s assassination. Only three people did – a cab driver, a little boy, and the boy’s mother. The cab driver wouldn’t say a word, and the boy’s mother stuttered and stammered so badly they finally gave up. The little boy just said, “Well, he got him,” and looked admiringly at Steve. 

Steve wasn’t wet, but the submarine lay on the deck of the pier, and the man next to it was dead, a rictus of horror on his face. 

(There is a readmore below! Read more!)

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Are you fucking kidding me?

I just saw a post telling people that they should be pissed about Koogi’s break

I.am.livid

“We have every right to be pissed”

“She took on this job - do it right”

“Stop treating koogi like she’s special and needs special treatment”

Are you for real?

Like…

This young, young woman creates content for you to drool and gush over weekly and you have the nerve to complain when she needs a rest?

We should be so fucking grateful that we even have Killing Stalking to begin with. 

Not to mention, In japan at least, making manga is an extremely taxing job. They don’t get a break. They literally work all damn day. Aren’t we just fucking lucky that Koogi, in Korea(not speaking for every manhwa artist), has the chance to even have breaks? Not only that, but I’m sure she doesn’t make that much money. So…pumping out this wonderful story, with amazing art, weekly, with little pay, doesn’t deserve a break?

Stop being so damn entitled.

And “treating her like she’s special” - you mean treating her like a human being?

Yeah, the fandom often babies her and worships her feet, but why is that a bad thing? This woman, whom we’re so grateful and appreciative of…who makes this story that we all love and adore…is there something wrong with admiring that?

For fuck sakes, I admire her for being able to even get the manhwa out weekly..

You do have every right to be upset about the hiatus, but pissed? Fuck right off.

Everyone deserves a break. Not to mention, if we never give Koogi a break, how mentally and physically taxing would that be? Working all the time with no break, but you’d have no problem with that, right? Because she’s supposed to be a “professional”, that’s what she signed up for, right?

“I stuck up for her hiatus the first time..but this time..no” Well aren’t you just special. Because she needed a break once, it was all g, no problemo, but a second break???TWO???? No WAY! !!! ! 

It’s.only.one.damn.month

You can’t expect everything to be handed to you on a silver plate without the server needing to rest every now and again.

I’ll say it one more time, stop acting so fucking entitled.

Internal Conflict:  Five Conflicting Traits of a Likable Hero.

1.  Flaws and Virtues 

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but characters without flaws are boring.  This does not, as many unfortunate souls take it to mean, imply that good, kind, or benevolent characters are boring:  it just means that without any weaknesses for you to poke at, they tend to be bland-faced wish fulfillment on the part of the author, with a tendency to just sit there without contributing much to the plot.

For any character to be successful, they need to have a proportionate amount of flaws and virtues.

Let’s take a look at Stranger Things, for example, which is practically a smorgasbord of flawed, lovable sweethearts.

We have Joyce Byers, who is strung out and unstable, yet tirelessly works to save her son, even when all conventional logic says he’s dead;  We have Officer Hopper, who is drunken and occasionally callous, yet ultimately is responsible for saving the boy’s life;  We have Jonathan, who is introspective and loving, but occasionally a bit of a creeper, and Nancy, who is outwardly shallow but proves herself to be a strong and determined character.  Even Steve, who would conventionally be the popular jerk who gets his comeuppance, isn’t beyond redemption.

And of course, we have my beloved Eleven, who’s possibly the closest thing Stranger Things has to a “quintessential” heroine.  She’s the show’s most powerful character, as well as one of the most courageous.  However, she is also the show’s largest source of conflict, as it was her powers that released the Demogorgon to begin with.  

Would Eleven be a better character if this had never happened?  Would Stranger Things be a better show?  No, because if this had never happened, Stranger Things wouldn’t even be a show.  Or if it was, it would just be about a bunch of cute kids sitting around and playing Dungeons and Dragons in a relatively peaceful town.

A character’s flaws and mistakes are intended to drive the plotline, and if they didn’t have them, there probably wouldn’t even be a plot.

So don’t be a mouth-breather:  give your good, kind characters some difficult qualities, and give your villains a few sympathetic ones.  Your work will thank you for it.

2.  Charisma and Vulnerability

Supernatural has its flaws, but likable leads are not one of them.  Fans will go to the grave defending their favorite character, consuming and producing more character-driven, fan-created content than most other TV shows’ followings put together.

So how do we inspire this kind of devotion with our own characters?  Well, for starters, let’s take a look at one of Supernatural’s most quintessentially well-liked characters:  Dean Winchester.

From the get-go, we see that Dean has charisma:  he’s confident, cocky, attractive, and skilled at what he does.  But these qualities could just as easily make him annoying and obnoxious if they weren’t counterbalanced with an equal dose of emotional vulnerability. 

As the show progresses, we see that Dean cares deeply about the people around him, particularly his younger brother, to the point of sacrificing himself so that he can live.  He goes through long periods of physical and psychological anguish for his benefit (though by all means, don’t feel obligated to send your main character to Hell for forty years), and the aftermath is depicted in painful detail.

Moreover, in spite of his outward bravado, we learn he doesn’t particularly like himself, doesn’t consider himself worthy of happiness or a fulfilling life, and of course, we have the Single Man Tear™.

So yeah, make your characters beautiful, cocky, sex gods.  Give them swagger.  Just, y’know.  Hurt them in equal measure.  Torture them.  Give them insecurities.  Make them cry.  

Just whatever you do, let them be openly bisexual.  Subtext is so last season.

3.  Goals For the Future and Regrets From the Past

Let’s take a look at Shadow Moon from American Gods.  (For now, I’ll have to be relegate myself to examples from the book, because I haven’t had the chance to watch the amazing looking TV show.) 

Right off the bat, we learn that Shadow has done three years in prison for a crime he may or may not have actually committed.  (We learn later that he actually did commit the crime, but that it was only in response to being wronged by the true perpetrators.)  

He’s still suffering the consequences of his actions when we meet him, and arguably, for the most of the book:  because he’s in prison, his wife has an affair (I still maintain that Laura could have resisted the temptation to be adulterous if she felt like it, but that’s not the issue here) and is killed while mid-coital with his best friend.

Shadow is haunted by this for the rest of the book, to the point at which it bothers him more than the supernatural happenings surrounding him.  

Even before that, the more we learn about Shadow’s past, the more we learn about the challenges he faced:  he was bullied as a child, considered to be “just a big, dumb guy” as an adult, and is still wrongfully pursued for crimes he was only circumstantially involved in.

But these difficulties make the reader empathize with Shadow, and care about what happens to him.  We root for Shadow as he tags along with the mysterious and alternatively peckish and charismatic Wednesday, and as he continuously pursues a means to permanently bring Laura back to life.

He has past traumas, present challenges, and at least one goal that propels him towards the future.  It also helps that he’s three-dimensional, well-written, and as of now, portrayed by an incredibly attractive actor.

Of course (SPOILER ALERT), Shadow never does succeed in fully resurrecting Laura, ultimately allowing her to rest instead, but that doesn’t make the resolution any less satisfying.  

Which leads to my next example…       

4.  Failure and Success 

You remember in Zootopia, when Judy Hopps decides she wants to be cop and her family and town immediately and unanimously endorse her efforts?  Or hey, do you remember Harry Potter’s idyllic childhood with his kindhearted, adoptive family?  Oh!  Or in the X-Files, when Agent Mulder presents overwhelming evidence of extraterrestrial life in the first episode and is immediately given a promotion?  No?

Yeah, me neither.  And there’s a reason for this:  ff your hero gets what they want the entire time, it will be a boring, two-dimensional fantasy that no one will want to read.  

A good story is not about the character getting what they want.  A good story is about the character’s efforts and their journey.  The destination they reach could be something far removed from what they originally thought they wanted, and could be no less (if not more so) satisfying because of it.

Let’s look at Toy Story 3, for example:  throughout the entire movie, Woody’s goal is to get his friends back to their longtime owner, Andy, so that they can accompany him to college.  He fails miserably.  None of his friends believe that Andy was trying to put them in the attic, insisting that his intent was to throw them away.  He is briefly separated from them as he is usurped by a cute little girl and his friends are left at a tyrannical daycare center, but with time and effort, they’re reunited, Woody is proven right, and things seem to be back on track.

Do his efforts pay off?  Yes – just not in the way he expected them to.  At the end of the movie, a college-bound Andy gives the toys away to a new owner who will play with them more than he will, and they say goodbye.  Is the payoff bittersweet?  Undoubtedly.  It made me cry like a little bitch in front of my young siblings.  But it’s also undoubtedly satisfying.      

So let your characters struggle.  Let them fail.  And let them not always get what they want, so long as they get what they need.  

5.  Loving and Being Loved by Others

Take a look back at this list, and all the characters on it:  a gaggle of small town kids and flawed adults, demon-busting underwear models, an ex-con and his dead wife, and a bunch of sentient toys.  What do they have in common?  Aside from the fact that they’re all well-loved heroes of their own stories, not much.

But one common element they all share is they all have people they care about, and in turn, have people who care about them.  

This allows readers and viewers to empathize with them possibly more than any of the other qualities I’ve listed thus far, as none of it means anything without the simple demonstration of human connection.

Let’s take a look at everyone’s favorite caped crusader, for example:  Batman in the cartoons and the comics is an easy to love character, whereas in the most recent movies (excluding the splendid Lego Batman Movie), not so much. 

Why is this?  In all adaptions, he’s the same mentally unstable, traumatized genius in a bat suit.  In all adaptions, he demonstrates all the qualities I listed before this:  he has flaws and virtues, charisma and vulnerability, regrets from the past and goals for the future, and usually proportionate amounts of failure and success.  

What makes the animated and comic book version so much more attractive than his big screen counterpart is the fact that he does one thing right that all live action adaptions is that he has connections and emotional dependencies on other people.  

He’s unabashed in caring for Alfred, Batgirl, and all the Robins, and yes, he extends compassion and sympathy to the villains as well, helping Harley Quinn to ultimately escape a toxic and abusive relationship, consoling Baby Doll, and staying with a child psychic with godlike powers until she died.

Cartoon Batman is not afraid to care about others.  He has a support network of people who care about him, and that’s his greatest strength.  The DC CU’s ever darker, grittier, and more isolated borderline sociopath is failing because he lacks these things.  

 And it’s also one of the reasons that the Lego Batman Movie remains so awesome.


God willing, I will be publishing fresh writing tips every week, so be sure to follow my blog and stay tuned for future advice and observations! 

SKAM S04E09 Clip 5 - Maghrib

SANA: Please accept my fast, even though I’ve behaved badly. Please watch over Eva and Vilde and Noora, Chris. Please watch over Isak and Even and Elias and Yousef.

[VILDE: Hi, are you ready to meet up?

EVA: Sana! Chris and I will pick you up with the van in 20 minutes.

SANA: Ok cool

SANA: I regret cancelling the date with Yousef

NOORA: YEEES! Call him! Go!

EVA: Do it girl!! Life is NOW!!

SANA: According to Islam, life is after death. Which is one of the reasons why I should stay away from him

CHRIS: According to me, the abdomen is dead after death. Which is one of the reasons why you should meet him!!

VILDE: Yousef! Yousef! Yousef!

SANA: Hahaha I get why mom is worried that I don’t have any Muslim friends

NOORA: Hello! OK!! I can argue from an Islamic perspective

SANA: Now I’m intrigued

NOORA: Ok, doesn’t Islam believe in destiny?

Keep reading

Sometimes John and Sherlock accidentally talk all night.

Like maybe the intention to go to sleep at a normal time was there, but then they get distracted.

11 PM: They finish the movie and it just naturally feels like time for bed. Teeth are cleaned, doors are locked, and they settle in between the sheets, and damn is the bed comfortable compared to the haphazard dog pile of limbs they had gotten into on the sofa.

“What did you think of the film?”

“Nice; very enjoyable.”

“Did I tell you it was my favorite when I was a kid?”

“No. Really?”

“Yeah. Would watch it on repeat.”

“Interesting. But it’s no longer your favorite?”

“Right. I dunno- I still love it, but not in the same way.”

“I understand. Your favorite now is that one Bond, um…Die Another Day?”

“Yeah.” John gives Sherlock a small, soft smile. He looks almost bewitched.

“What’s that look for?”

“It’s for you. ”

“Yes, but why?”

“Because it’s really nice to have someone remember things like that about me.”

1 AM: The discussion has shifted to favorites, and why they’re favorites.

“So you would rather listen to that same Rolling Stones album again and again for eternity than ever even trying something like Debussey?”

“Correct.”

“Alright, well, now I know.”

“You know what?”

“That we’re breaking up.”

They laugh.

2 AM: …and now they’re just naming things they like.

John: “Long car journeys”

Sherlock: “The smell of coffee.”

“You hate coffee.”

“I hate the taste of coffee.”

“You are a complex being.”

“Thank you.”

They laugh some more.

John: “Rainy mornings that last all day.”

“Me too.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“They’re lovely.”

“Why’s that?”

Sherlock fidgets with his lips, trying to figure out how to phrase his answer.

“Because you always wake me very…pleasantly… and often you continue waking me pleasantly for most of the morning…afternoon…even into the evening sometimes.”

“Do I? When it’s raining?”

“Yes. Not every time, but under a certain set of conditions I can, for the most part, look at the forecast for the morning the night before and know in advance whether or not I’ll be getting anything done the next day.”

John looks back at him, a concoction of surprise, then near embarrassment, then a sly smile.

“Interesting, see, I find that I get one thing in particular done consistently on those days.”

Sherlock snorts.

4 AM: The topic has shifted between worst hangover stories and crazy uni memories to some more difficult things, like John’s time in the service, and Sherlock’s addiction.

“We’ve sort of been dealt a few tough hands eh?”

“Truly.”

“Makes me want to take you away somewhere and just be relaxed for a bit.”

“I would agree to that in an instant.”

“Yeah? Let’s do that, then.”

“Fantastic idea!”

“I do get them on occasion.”

More laughter.

5 AM:

John is trying to work in to the concersation something he’s been wanting Sherlock to know for a long time. It’s difficult, though- he’s never really said anything like this- anything so personal.

“It says a lot about you, I think, that I can do things like this- stay awake all night, not having to be overwhelmed or rampant. You balance me, John.”

“Yeah..yeah I- I know what you mean. You also- I mean, you sort of…I don’t dread…my life to come…anymore. I used to think of all the days and years I had left to endure, wonder how I would fill them, hoping I could find something that wouldn’t feel so miserable, something to settle for, but you- fuck, Sherlock, I think back to that now and it feels like a horrible nightmare. I’m…more than just glad, to have found you. You- damn, this is hard, I-”

Sherlock ties his fingers with John’s and moves even closer.

"Take your time. No rush. No pressure. Anything you want to tell me, you can. You’re safe here.”

"I suppose…You umm…you made me rethink- my plans, for me, yes. But not only that, you also showed me a way of living so different from what I had known, so much better and full of richness, I look back at those days where I no longer wanted to be alive and think -it’s probably because I wasn’t alive. I had every responsibility and felt every drawback of life but was denied any of the good stuff. You showed me so much more than I ever knew was out there- you sort of saved my life by…showing me how to live it? That’s so cheesy, I-”

And now Sherlock is crying. So John starts crying.

6 AM: they’ve got themselves together by now and moved on to something a little lighter.

"Right…so, you mean to tell me that James Moriarty, criminal mastermind, scary man with an affinity for the latest in explosive fashion, still sleeps with a teddy bear?”

"Precisely.”

"How did you figure that one out?”

"It took a few-visits- to piece it together, mostly because I was in disbelief myself, but he shows signs of a stiff neck as if he sleeps in an extremely bent position with one arm hooked partially under himself, likely around a small item. Persistence of this soreness shows that he didn’t just sleep wrong once, he makes a habit of this position. But what really sealed the realization was the right thumbnail. Much shorter than all the others, wrinkled texture, dry skin around the edges where the rest of his finers are immaculately manicured. Exposed to moisture for long periods of time.”

"No fuckin way!”

"Oh yes. He sucks his thumb. What a terrifying creature.”

Hysterical laughter.

"I’m always curious what you could tell about me right away and what took you a bit longer.”

That’s a dangerous path John- not everyone wants to know what others can tell about them.”

"Yeah but I’m just tired enough to ask anyway.”

"Well, all the things I pointed out at Bart’s…then more and more about your childhood based on your dating habits…around a month after we moved in I had narrowed down the approximate size of your…tyre lever…”

"Really?”

"Well…I had underestimated, to be honest. Your stature is misleading, as I’m sure you know.”-

"So, that is to say, you were-”

"Incredibly anxious and then surprised in the best possible way.”

"I was going for ‘not disappointed’, but alright.”

"Not in the slightest. My God, not even a little. In fact, what’s the opposite of disappointed?”

"Satisfied?”

"More than.”

"Sated?”

"Never.”

7 AM: Talking has ceased. The sun seeps in at the sides of the drapes, pale and gray. It’s a bit chilly, but neither know- it’s aafe and warm in the bubble of their room.

Neither sleep until around noon, after tea and toast in bed- the rain hits the roof in steady droves, tapping occasionally at the window if the wind blows a certain way.

Sherlock gets absolutely no work done.

I’m sitting here doing psych work and I just read yet another statement on how kids and students are overweight because of TV and video games keeping them from going outside and I just sat back in realization because like….

8 or 9 times out of 10, I’m not outside because of homework. Not TV and video games.

I get back from class, two in the afternoon, and I’m either so exhausted that I don’t want to do anything physical or I have so much homework that I can’t get outside before its dark.

Elementary school kids spend from 8 am to 3:30 pm in school (where I’m from), and by second grade are bringing home at least an hour of homework (based on the dozens of kids I work with over the school year). Say they come home, take half an hour to grab a snack and relax before doing an hour of homework. By the time they’re done, its five o'clock. Six is dinner time in my house, and I imagine its similar elsewhere (America centric but thats the school system I’m talking about)

That’s MAYBE an hour of playtime outside, if they dont have chores and if it isn’t already dark out, like it is in the late fall and winter. And yeah, they could do their homework at night. But I know my parents were strict about getting it done before dinner, and I’m sure a lot of other parents are the same way.

Don’t even get me started on middle and highschool. I didn’t even see the sun during musical season.

College? You run to and from class for anywhere from two to six hours a day and then you have homework, jobs, and you have to eat and sleep somewhere in there.

No wonder kids and young adults are sitting down in front of the TV or video games. We’re too exhausted mentally to do anything else.

Video games and tech aren’t the problem here. It’s school and the excessive amount of homework dumped on kids every damn day.

SKAM S04E08 Clip 6 - Happy Birthday to you

ADAM: We’re fasting. We’re not having hotdogs.

ESKILD: Is that Fedon Lindberg, or who is it?

LINN: I’ve probably had chlamydia like thirteen times, it’s like.. Just take some antibiotics and it’s gone.

VILDE: Yeah.

LINN: But in the eye? I haven’t heard that one before.

EVEN: You can just do it from your side. Should I do it now? Bad hit!

ELIAS: Awesome! Look what he did now.

EVEN: Hey, guys!

MAGNUS: Hey! Hey. I’m Magnus.

ELIAS: I’m Elias.

MAGNUS: You know my girlfriend.

ELIAS: Oh.. The blonde one?

MAGNUS: Yeah.

ELIAS: Right! Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has talked lots about you.

MAGNUS: She did?

ELIAS: Yeah, she talked about you a lot.

MAGNUS: What does she say about me?

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Our Little Secret-Part One

Summary: After a hunt and quite a few drinks the boys learn that you aren’t as ‘experienced’ in one department as they thought you were. Dean thinks he can rectify that

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled/Kink: Oral Fixation for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 4700

Warnings: Smut, oral (male and female receiving), insecure reader, language

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. This is the first part of what I hope is a lengthy and smutty series. Any feedback is always appreciated. This is also for @emilywritesaboutdean and @wheresthekillswitch ‘s Do It Like TFW Challenge (The gif is near the bottom)

A thank you to my beta @ayeronda for betaing at an ungodly hour and being so wonderful.


It’s been a long ass day and an even longer hunt. You were more than happy to be sitting on Dean’s bed in the boys’ motel room, sipping on your second, or maybe it is the third beer. And that was just here, it wasn’t counting the four or five shots you had had down at the bar. So now you were here and Sam was riding Dean hard about his strikeout at the bar.

“Dude, you were never going home with her.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”

You can’t help but chuckle, “What? Two whole minutes?”

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Inexorable (2)

Plot: How does is feel to be arranged to be married to a cocky, arrogant Mafia leader? Once you look at his face, you think you’re lucky, but then he opens his mouth.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, (eventual) smut, Mafia au!

Notes: Welp, since so many of you asked for it, here is a part two!! There are two other stories which need a continuation as well, so I might keep requests closed for a while.. Sorry about that. I hope you don’t mind. Feel free to ask me questions, though! Ya’ll are so nice to me! 2,053 Words

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (FINAL)

The ride to the vacation home wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your husband actually gave you the space you needed. There were brief glares exchanged between the two of you, a whole lot of drinking, and forced slumber – it was a 3 hour ride, after all. 

When the both of you had finally reached, the luggage was taken out by the bodyguards who had come along, and brought to your huge master bedroom. It was twice the size of your father’s office – if not, bigger – the bed was king-sized, and adorned with silk sheets. The walk-in wardrobe was already stacked with clothes for both sexes, making you wonder why you had even brought luggage in the first place.

“Too small, honestly,” Jungkook commented, plopping down on the couch by the fireplace. “My room is bigger than this.”

There he was, ruining the moment again. It was a good thing you were too exhausted to fight with him; but that didn’t mask over the fact that you still wanted to knock him out.

“Brat..” 

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Between Us And Infinity

Originally posted by theseoks

Genre: Angst/fluff || soulmate!au / street performer!tae

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Length: 35.7k

Summary: Place two strangers together and give them seven days to fall in love, and they will be soulmates for the rest of eternity, otherwise, neither of the two will come to love anyone ever again; The Seven Days Countdown has always been an old wives tale to you and nothing more, but all of that changes once you meet Kim Taehyung in the midst of a crowd of thousands. From then on, your life is thrown into a race against time, not only on a mission to beat the clock in falling in love with the renowned heartthrob, but also on a quest to make him fall in love with you.

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RFA + When They Realize They’re In Love

ohhh, look a headcanon/scenario post! :D this was a whole lot longer than i originally planned, but oh well!! i played around with each of their stories, so i hope you don’t mind <3 <b>you can find JAEHEE, JUMIN and 707′s under the cut! if you have any requests, feel free to shoot them my way. anyway, i hope you enjoy!


RFA + THE MOMENT THEY REALIZE THEY’RE IN LOVE

YOOSUNG

Yoosung thinks he’s sick.

His heart starts palpitating, his palms grow sweaty and he’s so out-of-focus that he’s losing his streak on the LOLOL leadership boards. He downs a cup of coffee, glaring at his bedroom clock, which stared back with a 22:12pm in bright blue lights. It’s way too early to be feeling tired, he thinks.

He sighs, exiting the server and letting the game’s background music blast through his computer’s speakers. He places a hand to his neck, feeling for a warm temperature, only to end up confused as he realizes he’s not even remotely feverish. Worriedly, he calls her up, sure that she would know what’s up with him.

“Hey [Name],” he says, going back to his desk to take another swig of coffee. He joins another server, hoping LOLOL would help calm his nerves. Why was he always so nervous when he was talking with her? He prattles on about his supposed “symptoms” as he patiently waits to be connected to the server.

“Sounds like you’re in love,” she suddenly blurts out. He almost sprays his coffee all over his computer at those words. He can tell she’s joking. She was joking, right? Right? He tries to come up with a reply, but all that comes out of him is a strangled sound. He hears her laughing from the other end. “Ohhh, bulls-eye! Who’s the lucky person? Is it me you’ve fallen for?”

Yoosung’s eyes widen at this, and his heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest and start tap-dancing on his desk. He’s stunned to a silence; his mind is racing, wondering whether or not to confirm her statement. Well, that would certainly explain why he always felt so worked up around her. Before he could even answer her question, he hears her awkward laughter on the other end of the phone.

“Hey, I was kidding! Playing some LOLOL might calm your nerves, but I suggest not staying up too late. It might actually be a fever, after all.” Yoosung manages to quickly blurt out an apology as well as a thank you, before wishing her a good night and ending the call without waiting for her reply. He leans back on his chair, staring at the cream-colored ceiling above him.

It’s when he places both of his hands on his chest and feels the rhythmic thumping of his heart. It’s when he tries to steady his breathing, and when he finally does, he remembers what she said and wheezes. It’s when he realizes that he knows the answer to her earlier question, but he was too shy, too scared to actually answer her. It’s when he makes a promise to tell her, face-to-face and unabashedly, one day. Yoosung’s eyes linger to his desk clock.

It’s at 22:17pm on a LOLOL-filled Tuesday night that he realizes that he’s completely, head-over-heels in love with her.

ZEN

Zen can’t sleep.

He’s lying in bed, positively tired after a day’s work. He knew he did well earlier, yes, but his own self-reassuring thoughts did very little for his nerves. Ever since the whole hacking situation, he’s been on edge during his performances; he can’t help but be upset at himself for not giving his all for his audiences.

Despite being an “egotistical prick”, as Jumin calls it, he was often hit by waves of doubt during these late sleepless nights. His self-reassuring thoughts began to shift into ones of doubt, pushing him to twist and turn in his suddenly uncomfortable bed.

Was he a genuinely good actor? Did people watch his musicals for his talents or for his looks? Would he ever be more than just a handsome face up on the stage? He was jolted back to reality by the sudden ringing of his cellphone. He begrudgingly reached out to view the caller ID: [Name].

Without a second thought, he immediately answers the call. Her cheerful voice was tinged with a hint of her own weariness. He feels his heart begin to swell, savoring the way her voice says his name. “Can’t sleep either?” he says, genuinely happy to find her calling him out of all the other RFA members.

“Yeah,” he hears her say. “I was hoping you were awake. I’m glad I was actually right.” His chest tightens at this, and he can’t help but smile at the thought of her thinking about him at such an hour. He finds a sort of solace in her, thankful for her constant presence amidst all the happenings in his life.

The two converse, and he finds the weight on his shoulders gradually become lighter. His heart is both calm and erratic, and he finds himself laughing together with her, despite being miles apart. When he hears her congratulate him for the show he put on, for being such an amazing actor on-stage, for doing so well, even if he may not believe so, he almost starts crying.

“You’re doing so well, Zen. I’m sure all your fans can agree that you’re doing so much more. I mean that, truly. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here. So is Jaehee and the rest of the RFA,” she says from the other end of the line, and he allows himself to think that she means it. No, he knows she means it; it’s in the way that she speaks to him that he knows she’s saying nothing but the truth.

It’s when she says her good night that he catches himself almost saying it. He purses his lips, blundering out a good night of his own before slamming the END CALL button. It’s when his eyes shoot wide open, and he feels a ditzy smile gracing his lips. It’s when his self-doubting thoughts are replaced by thoughts of her. He brings his pale hands to his hair, and he can’t help but marvel at how much she affects him.

It’s when he catches himself thinking about her in wonder does he realize that he’s crazy about her.

((more under the cut))

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NHL!Bitty, Part XII -  ‘A Stanley Cup Wedding’

The Schooners win game seven and dethrone the defending champion Falconers to claim Seattle’s first national title. 

Eric was definitely not expecting Jack to propose immediately after losing.

(A rework of the ‘Game 7 PVD vs SEA’ prompt that totally retcons some NHL!Bitty stuff, so timeline-wise: the Falconers took the cup Eric’s second year with the Schooners. The Schooners win the following season.)

NHL!Bitty Masterpost




Game Seven. Third period. Eric’s running on adrenaline, blue Gatorade, and rage.

Jack and the rest of the Falconers first line are racing to catch up, but Eric is ‘criminally fast’ (thank you ESPN for the lovely descriptor), and it’s almost too easy to whip the puck to Carter and wait for the siren.

Snowy can’t stop it. The Schooners will win in regulation. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Eric sees Morin’s breakaway as the death knell of his relationship. He has flashes of Freshman year and he thinks ‘Jack is going to hate me’.

Eric closes his eyes and waits.

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SKAMS04E10 Clip 2 - Penetrator Chris

CHRIS: Hey.

EVA: Hey. Did you sleep well?

CHRIS: Mhm.

EVA: Mhm.

CHRIS: I just dreamt something fucked up.

EVA: Yeah, what?

CHRIS: I dreamt that I was at my old elementary school. And we were eating lunch outside, me and Caroline, who was my girlfriend in fourth grade and then you were walking past and I was like “Wow, damn”! And then I walked up to you and I was like “Hey, do you wanna date me?” in front of Caroline.

EVA: What did I say?

CHRIS: You said yes, of course.

EVA: Yes? Of course? Okay?

CHRIS: And that’s supposed to mean…?

EVA: That we’re never going to be together.

CHRIS: Why not?

EVA: Why? Because..

CHRIS: Because?

EVA: Because you.. are..

CHRIS: I am? What am I?

EVA: A cheating fuckboy.

CHRIS: Ouch..

EVA: Hi, Vilde.

VILDE: Hi, what are you doing?

EVA: Nothing in particular…

VILDE: Listen, I wanted to do something nice for Sana at that Eid-celebration, to show her how much we love her.

EVA: Yes! We can do that!

VILDE: So I’ve read a bit about Eid and it’s common to give gifts, but it’s often just to kids and money and stuff, and it’d be a bit weird to give her money. I wanna give her something really special, so do you have any ideas?

EVA: Uhm… No, I don’t know, but we should probably ask someone for some advice, maybe someone who knows more than us,

VILDE: Yeah, I agree. We’ll ask a Muslim.

EVA: Hey, but listen, maybe I’ll call you up a bit later or something?

VILDE: Okayyy!

EVA: Okayyy, bye! Where were we?

CHRIS: We were talking about if we’re going to get together.

EVA: I don’t think so..

CHRIS: You don’t? Because I think you may want to.

EVA: Nooo..

CHRIS: You sure?

EVA: Yes, I’m sure.

CHRIS: Totally sure?

EVA: Yes, very.

MOM: Eva?

EVA: Hide!

CHRIS: Why?

MOM: Hi!

EVA: Hi..

MOM: Oh, I’m sorry! Uhm..

EVA: Uhm.. I have company.

MOM: Yes.

EVA: Uhm.. This is..

CHRIS: Hey! Chris.

MOM: Hi. Chris.

CHRIS: Is your name also Chris?

MOM: Yeah, no, my name is Anne Marit.

CHRIS: Oh, okay. That makes sense.

MOM: Yes.

EVA: Yes.

MOM: I’m sorry for just.. I didn’t know Eva had a boyfriend.

EVA: We’re not together.

CHRIS: Yet.

MOM: Yes, but that’s.. You’ll figure that out.. Okay.

EVA: Oh my God.

CHRIS: Oh, well.

EVA: Why did you stand up?

CHRIS: I had to introduce myself. I was raised well. You have to say hi to people.

EVA: You could’ve introduce yourself another time!

This teacher is history.

Kinda long, but I got rid of a backwards old man from teaching sooo….

So back in high school I was good kid. As and Bs, all AP, top twenty, the whole deal. The point is here that I am good at the school. My grandma was a college History Professor and she raised me to be a lil nerd. I was not used to bad grades, she was not used to me having bad grades as there was some extreme pressure on me to do well.

This is where HE comes in. It was Senior year. I had already rocked through all my APs thus far with 4s and 5s, all I had to do was rock out my last few and I would graduate with 36 hours under my belt and be pushed into my sophomore year of college, heck yeah, less money right? This particular teacher taught AP US history, a subject I was well versed in thanks to the gma, one I should have no problems with. I went through the first test confident in my knowledge and not having read out of the book, my first mistake. Now it wasn’t because I didn’t know my stuff, but I digress. I got that test back with a big shined red F.

Needless to say I was frazzled. I did as any student should do and write better notes, convinced it was my own cockiness that brought my downfall. Still didn’t read the text book because I had better resources at home, so I studied the appropriate material in my grandmas books. Mistake number 2. Second test comes back to me with another shiner. I didn’t understand I knew my material! Rinse and repeat until midterms right before winter vacation. My grandma was livid. Absolutely furious with me for doing so poorly in history of all things, and demanded that I request to bring my tests home to study my mistakes for my midterm. But when I asked my professor said no because he didn’t want tests circulating around. My grandma called about twenty times and finally he relented.

I brought home the tests and she sat down with me, my text book, my stack of Fs and her books to drill the knowledge into me. She looked at the first test, then the second, then the third, so on and so forth with out saying a damn word, with me sitting in my chair convinced she was about to bring forth the righteous fury. She did, but not on me. “I don’t understand, these questions are wrong? Your answers are all correct to them.” I shrugged, just as confused as she was. She cracked open my text book to see if there was any correlation and bam. There sure as hell was.

Not only was some of the info plain wrong, but it dated back to before the fricking civil rights movement. That’s right kiddos, it didn’t even mention the 14th amendment, or anything remotely “current”. Oooo boy was she PISSED. She revoked everything she had taken from me as punishment, and stacked the tests and books together, and silently got up. The very next day my grandma was at the school speaking to the principal, and on conference call with the superintendent.

Let me tell you why this text is especially bad where I’m from. I live in Texas. The school boards and stuff are VERY strict about anything to do with race because they don’t want to be seen as backwards hicks, so all those inflammatory news stories you hear? Yeah they get taken care of real quick once brought to the attention of the right people. Mr. US “History” professor was done with by then end of the year. “Retired” they say. Sure okay.

Unfortunately he stayed on teaching the way he had the rest of the year and I did poorly on the AP because he wouldn’t let me study the right stuff in class. You win some, you sorta only kind win some.

home after rain

blue orchids short story

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: too much fluff.. too much cute
word count: 3.986
author’s note: surprise! \o/ I honestly have no idea how or why this happened. yesterday I just… started writing, and here we are, a few thousand words later. also, bear in mind that this is a sequel to blue orchids, so you need to read that one first if you want to understand this short piece. hope you all enjoy!

This story is set six years into the future within Blue Orchids’ universe.


The sun rays are melting on your skin. It has been a while since the skies opened up like this, leaving the sun bare to the living, its warmth a pleasant gift after days of storm and gloom. The sand under your legs and feet is, fortunately, not scorching — not yet, at least. The early morning is still warming up to the pristine sun, and the salty winds of the beach are still a strange mixture of the growing heatwave and the remnants of past iciness.

You cannot remember the last time you visited the beach, but it does not feel foreign or uncomfortable. It feels like you belong, mind at peace and body molding to the sand as your extended legs allow your toes to brush against the gentle waves that break and ebb away, water still too chilly to enjoy at its fullest.

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Good Girl (M)

Plot: Good girls always had a bad side to them, and some people just brought that out – whether it be a shitty dorm mate or her boyfriend.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, slight angst(?), highschool au!

Warnings: Being blessed by the Jungcock, cheating, oral (giving), praising, implied masturbation

Notes: I hope this smut will make up how slow I’m becoming. I can’t help it because exams. And I can’t believe It hit 140+ followers???? What the heck???? How?? Thank you so much. I feel so great about that. 2,042 Words

Originally posted by jeonify

You were probably one of the most angelic people in your year. You were always kind, got good grades, did your homework – it was a shame you were stuck with a bitch as a roommate. Kim Jenna was always out partying, high-key manipulative, and just got around a lot. 

It was a surprise people actually liked her more than you.

Maybe it was because she was prettier, You pondered sometimes. Maybe it was because she actually talked to everyone, and didn’t just sit alone during lunch. Insecurity was probably the bane of your existence when you were around Jenna, especially since she teased you.

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4

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU, Visual Headcanon Web Charts #01

So I always wanted to make one of these. Turns out my headcanons for the most part are WAY too wordy for these things and uh, they’re a bit of a mess >.>;; BUT I hope nonetheless that they’re somewhat fun to read even if barely legible, it was fun to make ^ ^;

1. Super basic relationship chart of the core members of the lovely poly family in this AU.

2. “Adults Think,” the color of each adult indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

3. “Kids Think,” the color of each OC kid indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

There’s obviously a lot more to it than what could be crammed in the lil text boxes, but a gist and pretty much the first things that immediately popped into my mind regarding their interactions. 2 and 3 also mostly show their thoughts while the kids are younger, which will change a bit as they grow up, to be covered in a future post.

*Recommended you right click view image to see full size bc the text is tiny oops

Because the text is so illegible, text only versions of charts 2 and 3 beneath cut, all elaborated quite a bit because I’m so rambly oops:

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IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s Yuuri-centric polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri’s married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

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Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

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PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

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