so yeah i dont even know goodbye

I'm quiting
  • I dont know if anyone even noticed but i havent been active lately so i decided to tell you that i will completly stop posting. I have been dealing with some issues that i dont want to bother you with,and i havent been feeling myself. I dont know if i will start posting soon,is this a break or goodbye i dont know. Dont know if anyone cares but yeah.
  • Love you with all my heart.

I don’t think there’s a better way to say goodbye.


Look, I have set my eyes on you since I saw you. Those eyes of yours were exquisite, your lips… irresistible. I could live a hundred years with just one touch of your fingers. Your smiles could light up my dark moments. Your voice, warm as the summer breeze, enveloped my cold evenings as you said “Good night”.  The first time I held your hands, I felt heaven on earth. When you said that you love me, it felt like I could die in an instant. That’s how impacting your existence was to me.

 

But love, there’s no such thing as a “Happy ever after”. We live in the reality where everything could end in an instant and I apologize if I had to do this early. I just don’t want you to live with the pain of losing me after three years of us fighting. I had to end this not because I’ve given up but because I don’t want you to suffer anymore. I’ll take the pain, I’ll take the blame… all because I don’t want you to bear the pain until the end of your days.

 

I’m dying, Makoto. I only have three days to live. I didn’t tell you because it would kill you inside. This sickness has taken over my whole system and I have no choice but to accept defeat. I raised my white flag because you have been mortally wounded and I don’t want you to take your life after hearing this. I love you so much I don’t want you to live the next years taking the blame because you haven’t done enough. I did my best to fight this sickness and you were with me day and night. You were protecting me like I was an important gem and I appreciate it. But I know when to give it all and when to stop… and it’s the best time to throw the war away and accept defeat.

 

I love you so much, Makoto. Only if I can stay longer, I would appreciate every single trait that you have. I’ll miss you. There are no words that can convey how much I love you. Not even this letter, not even words. Please stay the same sweet man I loved and continue changing lives like how you changed mine. Eight years of being with you is such a miracle. I’ll tell God how beautiful your soul is. I’ll battle the demons who will ridicule you once I reach Hell.

 

Till then, I’ll watch over you wherever I may go.        

 

I love you.

I love you.

I love you so much, Makoto Tachibana-Yamazaki.


Sousuke

 

Makoto folded the letter that he received as he touched his deceased husband’s tombstone. A smile formed on his lips as he wiped the tears cascading down his cheeks. The cold, summer breeze blew and he felt like it was Sousuke who embraced his cold, shivering body. He placed the letter in his back pocket and continued staring at the ivory stone standing up in front of him.

“It has been three years, my love.” He whispered. “You still haven’t changed. You’re still the sweetest tsundere I have ever known and I’m proud to tell that I have loved you for eleven years now. I will continue loving you until the end of my days. I’ll tell God how valiant your fight in this earth was and I will break heaven and hell if I hear remorseful words toward you.”

He then switched his direction and walked away from Sousuke’s grave.

“I’ll see you soon, Sousuke Yamazaki.” The green-haired man muttered. “I love you too.”