so why do you insist on calling trans* people by their birth name

Peter Benjamin Parker

A/N: For anon, who wanted some pre-transition Peter Parker. I wasn’t sure what to do with this? So I decided maybe coming out! Also I wanted to do some demigirl MJ lol so that’s there too.

I don’t know if this is exactly what you wanted so if you want to be more specific, please feel free to send me another request! This was fun anyway though <3

Also, I got the name headcanon from someone but I don’t remember who. If you’re reading this, thank you. Also, Sydni suggested I make Peter dorkier, but I couldn’t figure out exactly how, so please forgive me. 

I’m really sorry this took so long, nano has been eating me alive. 


When Peter figured out he was a boy, it was like finally drinking water after years in a desert. He had been feeling vaguely depressed for months, totally and completely detached from himself and his body.

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Trans!Lock Kidlock (Greg's son is FTM)

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like Teacherlock, Professorlock, Translock, Holmescest, Potterlock, Slavelock, Fawnlock, Sherstrade, Johnlock, Johnstrade, Johncroft, Parentlock, Mystrade, and BDSMlock.

Stranger: Hey, um, question for you. Could you maybe tell me what the hell ‘transgenderism’ is? GL [TW: Greg is misgendering and uninformed at beginning. His son is coming out as ftm]

You: Well its when someones biologically assigned sex does not correspond with their gender - what they personally know they should be presenting as MH

Stranger: And what’s that in English? GL

You: It means you may have been physically born female but you feel and know you are supposed to me a man MH

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anonymous asked:

What even are the claimed AFAB privileges?

AFAB Privilege Checklist!

- I am reduced to my body parts and functions by both activists claiming to be for my liberation and misogynists. Trans activists call me a vagina person or period haver/bleeder. Misogynists will say stuff like, “I want to get some pussy tonight” or will use imagery when fighting against my bodily autonomy and reproductive rights that reduces me to a womb and my ability to possibly become pregnant. 

- Speaking out against my reduction to my parts and functions by activists gets me labelled a bigot and my pleas ignored. Trans people have been saying forever this type of language is upsetting and triggering of their dysphoria. Their pleas are essentially ignored because some people are comfortable with it, and there’s little attempt to compromise. Afab people both cis and trans have stated they find how “gender inclusive language” is being practiced is misogynist and/or they don’t like it, but their concerns are silenced by accusations of bigotry, transphobia, and/or transmisogyny. 

- I am told by people who do not share my experiences what they are and how I may talk about them. Some amab trans people have decided things for afab trans people such as that they do not experience misogyny and/or are able to distance themselves from it, and that they have male privilege retroactively and even if perceived as a gender conforming female. Disputing this is considered a transmisogynist act by some. 

- I get made fun of, accused of misgendering myself, and accused of being an oppressor for talking about my experiences and how I felt they occurred. I’ve seen trans men on this site made fun of and accused of misgendering themselves for insisting they’ve experienced misogyny due to being perceived as female for a large portion of their lives. I’ve seen trans men called oppressors because they felt they were socialized with femininity and it’s influenced their behavior and thoughts. People here feel everything is black and white. So if a trans men says he experiences misogyny, it means you’re saying trans women don’t, when in reality this is pretty complicated with lots of nuances. 

- I am accused of being an oppressor for trying to survive and be safe. A named afab privilege is that trans men and nb afab’s can enter women’s shelters sometimes. This implies that trans men are oppressing trans women by entering these shelters, and that if trans men did not do this it’d aid in trans women getting into shelters. Most trans men entering women’s shelter are pre-hrt and pre-transition, so the staff often doesn’t even know they’re trans. I wrote more about this and the implications of calling this a privilege here: [Link]

- My socialization, which if I speak of can get me accused of being an oppressor, makes me more likely to misidentify as being trans in the current state of trans activism. I feel this is one of the biggest reasons afab nonbinary people outnumber amab nonbinary people. Internalized misogyny Check out this post for more info on why: [Link]  <—– This is also relevant to the next two points. 

- I get told I am taking up too much space in my community by merely existing and participating in it. Remember TDOV? Tons and tons of people complained that it was a “Skinny white afab fest” essentially. Those “skinny white afabs” are still trans and have every right to participate. Call it Trans POC day of Visibility or AMAB trans day of visibility if you don’t want them to participate. 

- I am blamed for problems that are not my fault and have no control over them, and expected to apologize for them. Let’s go back to TDOV. Tumblr’s demographics are mostly white and afab. So of course most people participating are going to be white and afab trans people. There’s nothing afab people can do if amab trans people aren’t joining Tumblr and taking part in things. 

- I am blamed for things I had no part in and am used as a scapegoat for problematic things the community once supported. Remember the asterisk? “Trans*”? While it was once mandatory for talking about trans people and used among people no matter birth assignment or gender, I’ve seen many people now say, “It was created by trans men to exclude trans women!” I’ve seen people say shit like, “I bet trans men support and love drag!” Despite the fact the lgbt community loved and defended it for so long. 

- I am accused of being the face of transness and taking up too much space despite little representation. Tumblr might be mostly white and afab trans people, but pretty much everywhere else transgender = trans woman. Especially in the media.

- I often have longer wait times for hormones than my AMAB counterparts. I’ve seen a lot of afab people compare how long ti took them to get hormones vs amab people they know. In one instance, it took over a year more. 

- I have very few role models in comparison to my AMAB counterparts.
 
- Scars from my surgeries can out me unlike my AMAB counterparts. Scars under the pecs are becoming synonymous with afab trans people, whereas with breast augmentations the scars are typically well hidden, and even if the scars are visible breast augmentation is a somewhat common surgery among cis females.

- There are fewer surgeon that perform my genital surgeries. In the US alone there’s only 2, maybe 3(?), people who perform phalloplasty. There’s more who do meta, but not as many as who do vaginoplasty. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is a global trend.

- My surgeries are aesthetically inferior in comparison to my AMAB counterpart’s surgeries. Breast augmentations typically look well and passable, whereas mastectomies typically result in extensive scarring, occasionally end up with odd chest shapes, and somewhat frequently end up with odd looking nipples and nipple placements. Vaginoplasty results in genitals that are typically nearly indistinguishable from a natal vulva and vagina. Metoidioplasty will only rarely pass for a natal micropenis and extremely rarely a small natal non-micropenis. Phalloplasty is kinda hit and miss as well.

- My genital surgeries are more expensive than my AMAB counterpart’s surgeries. While chest surgeries are roughly the same cost, with afab surgeries being a bit more pricey typically, phalloplasty is far more expensive than vaginoplasty. While it’s true vaginoplasty and full metoidioplasty are roughly the same cost, metoidioplasty is aethestically inferior, so we’ll be comparing phalloplasty and vaginoplasty. Vaginoplasty is in the ranges of 20-30k, and phalloplasty is in the ranges of 50-90k. That isn’t including the implant that must be surgically replaced every once in awhile to achieve erection.

anonymous asked:

what do you mean "according to terfs every trans person would be bi"?

like, if terfs truly believed and followed their own ideas they would absolute literally believe that all trans people are inherently bisexual. they say lesbians only love “females” (cis women and trans men) and any lesbian who has dated, is dating or would date a trans girl is bisexual because she’s “attracted to males”.

and since we can safely assume that a trans person would date other trans people (which we often prefer to do anyway), there could not be a non-bi trans person. a gay trans man (a “female”) would date both cis and trans men (”males and females”) and would be bisexual, a trans lesbian who has a cis ex gf and a current trans gf would also be bisexual, a straight cis girl dating a straight trans guy who has a trans ex gf would be two bisexuals in a “lesbian” relationship, and so on.

this obviously makes zero sense! and either way they constantly refer to trans wlw as “heterosexual males/men” regardless of if they have trans female partners. “a lesbian is a Real female who only loves females” and “trans lesbians = heterosexual males” are therefore directly contradictory views, according to their very own beliefs. if they really just genuinely believed in what they call sex based attraction they would be aware of this and none of them would be calling gay trans people heterosexual (or vice versa) or support ‘drop the t’ or anything like it either because they’d believe all trans people are bisexual

they twist and bend their own ideas like this to stay unaffected while invalidating our lives and experiences and hurting already vulnerable parts of us. if you have to defend your own personhood and justify your sheer existence to any random stranger who thinks cathy brennan is the shit over and over again, forever, you dont have the time or energy necessary to engange with them or even just read their writing that regurgitates the same ideas and treats you the same way conservative christians, right-wingers, neo nazis and other fascists do.

they’re keeping trans people weak and unable to defend themselves by purposefully triggering dysphoria and shamelessly exploiting insecurity, mental health, barred access to medical treatment, youth. and they do this trans people, women in particular, but they knowingly do it to cafab trans people and lesbians who disagree with them too, because their ‘female solidarity’ comes with a long list of terms and conditions and they will punish you if you act out of line. 

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Borders

working on all my prompts but here have this lil thing

“Every ounce of Thalia believes that she was meant to kiss Annabeth Chase.”

thaliabeth. thalia is a transgender woman.

-

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Title: It’s Hard

Word Count: 1,129

Description: This is a continuation of the ficlet I wrote where Anna (Andrew) is trans http://effingfractals.tumblr.com/post/114412522587/effingfractals-title-first-time-word-count-450

Yoga pants and a camisole. They felt so wrong on his body, but at the same time they fit him perfectly. He sighed and just sank to the ground. He’d made it as far as the bathroom door and now he leaned back against the frame. He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them. It’d been a rough day.

Ever since that night he’d become addicted to going out as himself, as comfortable with it now as he was at home. It felt good to be seen on the outside as he knew he was in the inside. Presenting as a guy was an everyday thing now and he was so much happier for it. And until today everyone had been surprisingly supportive of him. Maybe it was the return of his bright over the top personality. Maybe it was the obvious happiness that showed in everything he did now.  Whatever it was, he was thankful for it. He knew he seemed brave and strong to others, but he as fragile inside…this was hard. His strength came from Elsa; h couldn’t do any of this without her having his back.

Everything had been going pretty smooth, until today. Today, with Elsa’s insistence, he had decided to ask his professors to start calling him Andrew. He didn’t make this huge announcement; he just approached each one before class. He was feeling pretty good; no one had a problem with it, until some asshole in Speech noticed the change in address.

Andrew took some comfort in knowing the guy literally got kicked out of class, but the hateful words spoken were stuck in his head.

He raised his head enough to look at himself in the mirror on the door. He’d just taken a shower and he hadn’t bothered to put his binder back on for the evening. Elsa said he had to give his body a break sometimes and he didn’t mind, it usually wasn’t a problem. But now… ‘A confused little girl’ that’s what the guy in class had seen. That’s now all he could see in the mirror.

Boys don’t cry, he thought almost bitterly to himself as he helplessly watched his face screw up in tears. Who am I kidding? Why can’t I just be happy with this stupid body and the gender it was given at birth…why do I have to be so different…why does it have to be so hard… He couldn’t stand to look at his reflection anymore and hid his face in his knees, shoulders shaking now as he cried silently in the doorway.

So wrapped up in his hurt, he didn’t notice the soft footsteps pad into the room. He did hear the concerned gasp of his name though and immediately tried to calm down, but to no avail. He couldn’t look up. She was his rock, she made everything ok, he was ashamed at how easily he’d broken that day.

He felt her sit down across from him, her back leaning against the opposite side of the doorframe, resting her legs on either side of his small scrunched up form. He felt her hands slide down the sides of his legs comfortingly and her lips press a kiss to the top of his head.

“How come you’ve got some of your old clothes on?” Elsa started with an easy question, it broke her heart to see him like this, but she knew it’d take some careful maneuvering to get him to talk.

He managed to croak out the word laundry and she made a note in her head to make sure this didn’t happen again. When he dressed like a girl she knew he was approaching a breakdown, even if he himself didn’t realize it. Dressing like this just made everything deteriorate for him faster, but wasn’t the root of the problem.

Trying to discern what could have possibly happened, she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Talk to me baby boy.”

“Boys don’t cry…” he mumbled quietly, his tears turning to sniffles.

He felt her hands on either side of his head, drawing his face up to look at her. Warm blue eyes met his and anchored him there

“Of course boys cry,” her thumbs swiped across his wet cheeks. “You’re a boy and you just cried – I think that’s proof enough,” she smiled at him.

He averted his gaze again, “In class today… I told my professors like you said… they were cool… but there was this guy… it’s ok, I mean he got kicked out of class…”

“Look at me,” she tilted his chin up again, not giving him a choice but to meet her eyes. “There are always going to be assholes. I wish I could protect you from all of them, but I can’t. I don’t know what he said, but don’t ever let anyone make you doubt who you are. You are a man. You are my man.”

Andrew’s eyes filled with tears again, “he said I was sick and confused…I’m not…”

Elsa’s blood boiled, how dare someone talk that way to her boy, her eyes narrowed in anger but she kept herself calm for his sake. All the while planning some way to get this guy’s name and address.

“Of course you’re not sick,” her arms reached around to envelop him. “You didn’t choose this, you were born this way. Just because some people don’t understand it doesn’t make it any less valid.”

“Why couldn’t I just be happy being a girl?” His frustrations with himself and the situation boiled over, finally giving light to the root of the problem.

Her heart broke again for the broken man in front of her. It wasn’t about the jerk in class, he was just a catalyst.

“Because you never were a girl, you’ve always been a boy. Now that you know this, you’re happier.” She kissed his forehead, “I can see that smile on your face every day baby boy, it comes from being confident and happy in knowing who you are and having others know who you are now. You can’t go back, this is you, don’t run from it just because some people are jerks. I just want you to be happy and I know this makes you happy…”

He swallowed hard and nodded. She was right, he’d never been happier than he had in the last few weeks. This was he was, he knew that. With her help, he knew he could be strong. He wiped the rest of the tears from his face and met his girl’s eyes again.

“I love you.”

She smiled that smile reserved only for him and said, “I love you too baby, you can do this.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I can.”

veritasluxmea  asked:

If someone experiences gender dysphoria and decides to transition to living as the other gender, should Catholics refer to them by their birth pronouns and name or their preferred pronouns and name? I had a neighbor who was trans and to be respectful I called them by the name they introduced themselves as, although I could tell it wasn't their birth name. Would it be different if you were a parent or close family member?

Hello, 

It is proper etiquette that when we meet people, we address them by the name they have given to us. Formal titles should be respected as well. If I go to a home and meet a transgender family member, I call them by the name they give me at our introduction. Why create a conflict or tension with someone I have just met? 

For that matter, I find it very rude on Tumblr when people purposely address me by a different name, which has happened a number of times because some people disagreed with me and found that a good way to “get back” at me.

Regardless of religion, we should always try to start off with people on a cordial and respectful plane. It is good for strangers to courteously introduce themselves and to address each other by the name assigned, not by us, but by the person introducing themselves, whether it is Dan, Daniela, Danny, Dani, Dr. Dan, Fr. Dan, or Dr. Jones.

Would this be different if you were a parent? I would answer yes, as a matter of my personal opinion. Parents and siblings have a much more complicated relationship and will address people based on those complications.

Parents give their sons and daughters names, and take the naming of their child seriously. I don’t think most parents imagine that some day, their child will reject this name, for whatever reason. Conclusion: parents may or may not feel obligated to submit to our requests, and might continue to address us or speak to us as they wish, not as we would prefer. Do they have the right to do this?

In most cultures of the world, cultures even where there is no Christianity, it would be unthinkable to ask a mother or father to discard the name they gave, and call their son or daughter by another name. 

Our culture is more individualistic, and self-centered. As we grow up, we see ourselves on a journey of self-discovery. As we discover who we are, and as we “find ourselves” we then decide if the parental direction is adequate, or to be rejected. Then we announce to parents and to family what are the “correct cues” to follow in speaking to us, and relating to us.

It is very different in other cultures, where, as strange as this may sound, we must first be concerned with parental cues, with what our parents tell us is proper. Before we would think to change our name based on a new discovery of self-identity, we would first ask, “Does this please my mother or father? If it does not, I will not dare to offend them.”

In our culture, parents who do not respect our journey of self-discovery, and do not support how we self-identify, are rejected, or deserve to be rejected, for their haughty insistence of parental authority or rights over us. We simply do not acknowledge any parental rights over growing children as they reach, and surpass, the stage of independence or emancipation. 

We view, instead, that there are only parental “duties” toward us, their children. If they do not fulfill those duties as we deem to be most healthy, and helpful, we see them worthy of being shunned. On the other hand, other cultures of the world never see the sons and daughters as reaching an “emancipation” point from the respect and honor due to a parent.

In other cultures, it is the children who always have duties to their parents, and not the other way around. Children who bring anger or rejection to their parents are considered dishonorable and worthy of contempt, and in many villages, will be the ones who are shunned as a disgrace—first to the parents, then to the larger community.

As far as the siblings, we have the same dynamic. In our culture, they are expected to also acknowledge and honor our self-discoveries and identities, new or old. In other cultures of the world, they are expected to follow the wishes of the parents. If this means that they are to shun a brother or sister at the order of the parents, then that is what is done.

For Tumblr, there are easy answers. These are black and white questions and most bloggers will say, “It’s my way, or the highway.” Out in the real world, things are not so simple and clear cut. 

Tumblr bloggers often say, “gender dysphoria causes depression, and if you do not respect the wishes of the trans community on this, you are pushing them toward worse depression, and suicide.” I do not accept such plain explanations to complicated problems. Yes, it is true that transgender people have astronomically high rates of suicide.

But there is simply no way to prove that “people with gender dysphoria are killing themselves because of the rejection or non-support they receive.” To blame a transgender suicide on the parents, who were too old fashioned, too Christian, too pig headed, too callous, etc. is easy and obvious to many. However, I have worked with people with depression for decades and I have yet to see any single factor in suicide. 

For instance, there are transgender, there are gay, there are queer children who receive complete support from their parents and siblings, and who still kill themselves. Some are even very active in raising the issues and seem to be content in their crusade for more education and understanding. Then, one day, we find them dead. For that matter, there are people who kill themselves for reasons that have nothing to do with sex and gender identity.

I notice on Tumblr, also, people take media reporting as gospel truth without knowing, firsthand, whether the reporting is correct. The media will often report on evangelical Christians and their conflicts with their children. In the media, I believe, you will always, always find such Christian parents to be in the wrong. They are infallibly sentenced to having parented badly, and having caused their son or daughter to do whatever wrongdoing has been done.

No one knows what other factors are in the home dynamic. No one knows what consultation or search took place to resolve problems. In the case of a transgender girl, the assumptions are black and white and the accusations are clear as crystal—Christian parents refused to accept the issues of gender transitioning, imposed their own narrow minded solutions, and are responsible for the suicide that followed. The suicide note implies this, therefore it is the only truth that needs to be looked at.

My response is “really”? Do the parents get to have their side reported? Then I say to myself, “Why bother?” They are, after all, evangelical Christians. Everyone knows they make the worst parents, right? That is assumed, right?

God bless and take care, Fr. Angel

These Twists and Turns of Fate

To be born is to exist, but to live is something else entirely. Stephanie Brown falls apart, and pulls herself back together. 
OR
Stephanie Brown is assigned a different name and gender at birth. These are the changes that result. 

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR: transphobia, misgendering, torture, violence, homophobia, child abuse, PTSD, and panic attacks. 

I’ve been working on this for ages, and I finally finished it! I hope you all like it! 

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