do yall ever feel like some people are just so out of your league and i don’t mean like in a dating sense i mean like when you wanna be friends with someone but you’re just so terrified of them cause you’re like a giant heap of garbage compared to this person and when i say you i mean me and by this person i mean literally everyone who’s ever been nice to me
hey john not to be that guy but im wondering when you guys are gonna cover all star by smash mouth. im not even joking this is a serious concern. you may think im pulling your leg. memeing you for shits and giggles. sir i am not. i just think when i finally hear it i can be at peace i think. please respond
We are never going to do this. I learned my lesson with “funny” covers in the 90s. Bands generally speaking have to be really careful about doing anything funny, because people then want you to make the same joke for the rest of your life. There are approximately 10,000,000,000,000,000 worse problems to have, so I am not complaining, but I am explaining why, while it would be funny to do this, I would regret it: the next night. And the night after. And forever. People would absolutely see to it that I regretted it but good. One of the discreet joys of growing older is learning to stop yourself from doing stuff you might later regret. Other people take this weird “I regret nothing!” attitude toward everything they’ve done but I have never really understood that whole stance, if a person regrets nothing then I wonder what their whole deal is honestly. Anyway. Covers that would be totally hilarious are generally, with very occasional exceptions, off the menu, because they become millstones almost immediately. Neolithic and Upper Paleolithic citizens used millstones for grinding nuts, rhizomes, grains, and probably a lot of other stuff we don’t even know about. Did they sometimes get curious, what if I ground my finger in this millstone, fuckin’ ouch, that was stupid? I bet they did, and that’s how I’d feel if I covered “All-Star.” I have, after a long apprenticeship, finally left the Neolithic Era behind and entered, with much ceremony, my own personal Bronze Age.
Request from Anonymous: YO YO BLURB ON JAY PARK MAKING LOVE AFTER A WHILE USUALLY IN A LONG DISTANCE WITH THEIR S/O ??? CAN THIS BE A POTENTIAL REQUEST??
A/N: Initially I was just going to do a list but my mind started to wonder so I wrote a scenario instead. I hope this is still okay, Anon. Also I toned it wayyy down and kept it very vanilla as oppose to the first draft I did :P
As always, any type of feedback is welcum!
3 months since you have seen your boyfriend Jay Park and now, he finally has some time off to visit you. This is your first long distance relationship and it was harder than you expected. But Jay and yourself Facetime each other almost everyday so that was something which comforted you.
However, some things are always better when the person is actually physically by your side.
This has been in our
inbox for months now definitely and I’m so sorry I only ever got to finish it
now, to the anon who requested it, I’m so fucking sorry it took so long. There
are still like 18 more smuts I have to finish and I’ve been working on my
writing, I’ll also be editing some posted works if I get the chance to. Also,
I’m sorry it’s short, this is probably one of the shortest smuts I’ve written
probably cause I don’t know how to write oral just yet, but I’ll be sure to
improve it. Thank you so much for waiting, and again I’m sorry if this was
boring and stuff shit, I’m sorry. Wegkhagfkjawfa
*blinks* So if an octopus has 8 legs, than an octopi has 3.14?
“Octopi, the supposed plural of octopus, is a favorite among fans of quirky words, but it has no etymological basis. The form was created by English speakers out of a mistaken belief that octopus is Latin and hence pluralized with an -i ending. But octopus comes from ancient Greek, where its plural is octopuses, and though it came to English via scientific Latin—one of the late varieties of Latin that kept the language alive long after it had died out as a first language—it was never a native Latin word and didn’t exist in that language until scientists borrowed it from Greek in the 18th century (and if it were a Latin word, it would take a different form and would not be pluralised with the -i ending).” X
Summary: Werewolves, contrary to popular belief, are usually gentle creatures. Except for a very specific set of circumstances, they would never hurt a human (on purpose). The few unfortunate times when mistakes were made put a permanent dark mark on the beasts and people began labeling them as monsters. What the human population failed to recognize was the fact that they were protecting us from something much more sinister. Luckily, a few survived and the gene was passed down hereditarily until one day finding its way to me… in the form of my best friend.
Loyalty is often as blind as justice should be, as unstable as a lightning storm ought to be, and as misplaced as an opinion in the truth.
As Jimin disappears behind one of the crumbling buildings, Munhee crosses her arms, visibly fighting a frown for Jungkook’s benefit, “Sometimes, I wonder why we ever took in that brat.”
Her words are cruel, but can I really fault her for them?
From the moment I met Munhee, she had been a mysterious character. Dark hair always pulled into a disheveled ponytail with a generous amount of strands coming loose or hanging free to frame her face, consistently dressed in all black, fitted clothes, and armed with a knife she keeps in her boot… Munhee isn’t the least scary person I’ve ever seen and her mood swings do nothing to help her case.
Still, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the short time span I’ve known her, it’s she’s a very calculating person who has the pack’s best interest at heart.
So who am I to judge? Maybe she should be more patient. Or maybe Jimin should be more respectful. I don’t know their history and right now, I’m not really keen on asking.
“Don’t,” she commands bluntly as Namjoon and Seokjin move to go after Jimin. They cast her a questioning look, but won’t dare disobey. Munhee stuffs her hands into the pockets of her jeans and makes her way toward the mistletoe entrance, calling over her shoulder, “Time to go inside. We’re done for today.”
Walking up a dark, cold alleyway in the middle of the night
in a part of the city that I did not know began to seem like a very bad idea, a
very bad idea indeed. Bleak, dim lighting on the high poles above my head were
he only sources of illumination and they did little to reveal all the puddles
of water and pot holes present on the ground that I kept stumbling into. I was
told to wear nice ‘sexy’ clothes for this. Why was I told to dress
provocatively if I was only donating blood and plasma to a private company? Why
had I trusted my friend when she told me all about this amazing opportunity to
get a lot of money and enjoy doing it as well? She was the type of friend who
always got herself into trouble but I was desperate; student loans, rent, car
insurance, food, it was all really starting to pile up and I needed some fast
cash. The only thing that kept me from turning on my heels and backing out was
the fact that Jazmin was beside me and clearly not worried at all, in fact, she
seemed excited, desperate even, to reach our destination, the complete opposite
to the nervous bubble growing in the pit of my stomach.
FLASHBACK “UGH! Why does everything have to be so expensive!” I said in exasperation,
flopping down onto the scattered notes and homework that shared the expanse of
my bed. Jazmin sat at the small vanity that sat under the window on the side of
my bedroom wall, bathed in the uncharacteristically bright February sunlight
that filtered through my open blinds. I’m not sure if it was the flattering
light or if she had somehow managed to become prettier in the last few months,
but her medium brown hair seemed to shine and glitter with honey colored
highlights and her skin glowed with a dewy radiance.
“AH! Speaking of expensive, here’s all that money I owe
you..” she reached into her purse and grabbed her wallet, snapping it open and
rifling through the many bills that were stuffed into it before handing me two
new, crispy hundred dollar bills. I reached for the money, confused and
disbelieving that she was paying me back after all this time. I had already
resigned myself to not ever seeing that money ever again. I narrowed my eyes at
“Is this real? How did you get this?” she just smiled and
dismissed my suspicions with a wave of her hand.
“Don’t worry, it’s completely real and I didn’t have to walk
the streets to get it either. I just found a new… investment, and it pays
really well.” I didn’t like her pause and nonchalant tone she was speaking
with, I could tell she was hiding the truth, or at least part of it.
“Yes, I can see. How much did that new purse cost you, it
looks expensive, what brand is that? Kate Spade?” I said in a sarcastic tone.
“Well fine, if you’re gonna be that way then I won’t let you
in on it…” she teased.
“Im sorry, keep going.”
completely changed at the prospect of making as much money as she clearly had
recently. She laughed at my sudden change in demeanor and began to explain.
You… directly donate
blood to specific individuals who are… in need, sort of like a transfusion,
through a private company. Their clients and the company are very private and
secretive, they highly value your discretion and expect you to keep all knowledge
that you may learn to yourself. That’s one of the reasons why they pay so much.
You must sign a contract as well. They offer one time donation contracts and
also 1 year contracts. A onetime donation pays 1000 dollars and a year contract
will pay you up to 5000 dollars depending on how many times a year you donate.
They also include healthcare in their contracts and, let’s just say, some
people form a relationships with their Donee. I’ve been donating for a few
months now to the same person. The thing is, their method of donating is a bit
unorthodox, and it may freak you out at first but, trust me, you’ll be safe the
whole time. Since I’m under a… contract, I can’t actually tell you how they
donate but you’ll find out soon…
After she explained and convinced me that nothing was
illegal or dangerous, I reluctantly agreed to try donating, she called someone
and a few minutes later, I was added to the list of donors for tonight’s
session that she was attending. She then spent the rest of the day prepping us
both for tonight; showering, shaving, plucking, exfoliating, conditioning, the
whole nine yards. She did my hair and makeup and put together as sexy of an
outfit that I’d allow, answering all my protests with,
“Trust me, you’ll want to look good for whomever you get as
a Donee. Absolutely every client there looks like they just stepped out of a
movie, they’re so attractive.”
I had to admit, I looked pretty good, less like a tired college
student and more like an extra from the movie Underworld. My hair was half
pinned up and the rest floated around my bare shoulders in soft wavy curls. My
eye makeup was minimal but accentuated the shape with a slightly darker color
in the crease, elongated, winged eyeliner, and lots of mascara. My foundation
had a light, radiant finish and Jazmin had sculpted my face slightly with
contour and highlight. She had finished me with a red toned berry liquid lip
stain and very shiny clear gloss that made me look like I had just bit into a
My outfit was comprised of a tight, black corset that I had
used for a Halloween costume one year, black leather pants that I bought but
never wore, and black high-heeled leather ankle boots. I looked at myself in
the mirror and couldn’t help feel a bit like a piece of meat on display.
Skintight everything and bare shoulders and clavicle exposed. I shivered from
the slight cold that seeped in through the walls and grabbed a long black
cardigan that had silver accents and faux fur trim on the neckline and slipped
it on, wrapping it around my form despite Jazmin’s protests. My dark ensemble
was the complete opposite to her baby pink dress and white kitten heels.
“I like wearing black so I’m not complaining, but why am I
so dark and you’re so… pink?” I asked.
“Well, Jin likes pink, and I like Jin…” she trailed off, a
devilish grin on her pink sparkly lips. “Jin is the one that I donate to
“You make it sound like it’s a sexual experience.” I said,
warily. She turned to me and carefully chose her next words.
“(Y/N), I’m not gonna lie, Jin and I do have sex. The
donation process is very… intimate, I mean, you’re giving someone your life
source to help them right? You get to know them and it creates a bond. Who
knows, you might get some tonight too, if you want.”
“Uh, NO, I do NOT want that!” I exclaimed.
“Okay, okay, just tell them that, it’s not a big deal, they
won’t force you.” She laughed as we left my apartment, finally making our way
to our destination as the sun began to set slowly on the horizon, mixing colors
of burnt orange, purple, and blood red into the rapidly fading blue.
To say that I was nervous and skeptical was definitely and
understatement. What did she mean by unorthodox? Why did it seem like they were
hiding their private business from people? Question filled my mind as I
tightened my Heavy coat around my middle and we walked up to an unassuming door
that held a small square mirror at face level. No, not a mirror, two way glass.
Jazmin pressed a button on a voice-box attached to the side of the building and
spoke into it.
“Hi, this is Jazmin, and this is (Y/F/L/N). She should be on
the list with me as a new donor.”
She released the button and a second passed before a buzz
sounded and the door clicked open, a handsome gentleman held the door open for
us to pass through. I curiously glanced at him as we passed. He was tall and
had white, fluffy hair, a cut in one eyebrow and silver hoops in in the ear on
the same side. I couldn’t see his eyes since they were covered with a pair of
shiny, black, square cut sunglasses even though it was nighttime. His black
suit gave him a slight Men In Black feel and I couldn’t help but crack a small
smile at the image in my head. However, my smile faded when he returned one and
I swear I saw a flash of very sharp looking canines before his face returned to
its neutral state. Jazmin’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to
her as she spoke to me.
“I’ll take you to Seulgi’s office so you can get your
paperwork out of the way. She’ll explain what I’m not allowed to and you’ll
sign a confidentiality agreement and a contract with her and then they’ll match
you with a Donee. It should all go by pretty fast if you cooperate and don’t
I had been too busy studying the hall we walked down to
notice her choice of words at first. It was definitely luxurious, marble flooring,
with clean white walls and black accents. The ceiling held ornate crystal
chandeliers every 20 feet or so that sent sparkling reflections on the walls.
The wide hallway echoed slightly and brought Jazmin’s final words back to me.
“…don’t freak out…”
My feet stopped following her as I said,
“What do you mean ‘freak out’? Why would I freak out!?
Jazmin, tell me what’s going on!”
The panic in my voice was doubled by the echoing walls and
I’m sure anyone behind the many doors lining the hall could hear me.
“(Y/N), calm down. It’s okay, shh.”
She held my hand and tried to comfort me in a soothing
voice. The scene reminded me of how a child tries to call to a cat in a
comforting tone right before they capture it. I was the cat in this situation.
Before Jazmin could continue, a door to my right opened and out stepped a very
pretty girl with dark hair and monolid eyes. Something about the way she stared
straight into my eyes without any shame both terrified and entranced me and I
found that I wasn’t breathing. She spoke and it felt like her voice was warm
honey seeping into my skin and making my limbs heavy and languid.
“Hello (Y/N), you’re here to donate your blood for people
who can’t survive without it, for Vampyres.”
As her last words left her mouth, her face split into a
calculating smile, showing her teeth as she did so as her canines dropped down
and elongated into sharp, white points.
Worst costume design you've seen in a movie? (Beauty and the Beast remake doesn't count because we all know you hate everything about it)
“we all know you hate everything about it” this is my legacy and I am very proud of that fact.
okay so this is actually a harder question than you might think? because a lot of the time I don’t hate everything about a film’s costume design, just some of it (Alice Kingsley’s blue dress in the first Alice in Wonderland film, exactly one half of every piece of clothing I saw onscreen in Jupiter Ascending, etc). Also I don’t necessarily hold that “garish” or “loud” means “bad” even though my own sensory issues scream at me, because sometimes an oversaturated color palette and bright, showy production design is part of the general aesthetic of the film (most of what Baz Luhrmann does, a bunch of weird indie films like Shortbus, the Spy Kids movies).
That being said, there are a few films that definitely stand out, and the one that’s been on my mind recently is The Three Musketeers (2011). Why, you ask?
first off our leads are disgustingly bland - you can’t see it in this picture but underneath their admittedly well-tailored leather jackets (probably fake leather but who’s keeping score?) with the unnecessary compass rose design, they’re wearing generic peasant shirts. The one-shouldered capes are actually pretty badass? And in a film with a more monochromatic production design I do think I’d be less critical of these base outfits, because there’s nothing inherently wrong with them. So why am I complaining?
Because this film is incapable of creating and maintaining a consistent visual aesthetic, that’s why. It also has no idea what time period it takes place in. (Brief aside: I talk about historical accuracy a lot wrt the Beauty and the Beast costumes, but if there had been visual consistency I would care a lot less. Moulin Rouge! has a late-Victorian setting but uses it basically as window dressing for magical realism, so while the costumes are historically based they aren’t historically accurate but that is part of the established motif of the movie. The same rule applies here - if there had been genuine links in design and fabric choice and overall aesthetic between picture 1 and picture 2 I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you all.) this picture honestly sums up literally all my problems with this film - what the hell is going on? what time period is this? Ostensibly this is the real world, not a Fae court where anything goes in terms of sartorial choices. Also I hate everything about the outfit of the guy on the left (and you can tell how memorable the rest of this movie is, because I clearly remember everybody’s name!) because it’s so jarringly out of place and yet comes the closest to being historically accurate!
and just when we thought we were in Technicolor Hell Land forever, Orlando Bloom shed his blue and yellow travesty to give us this actually not entirely terrible black ensemble (see what I mean about no consistent visual aesthetic?) The one-shouldered cape is back - we saw it in two of the three men above, and Cardinal Richelieu bucked the trend by giving us a traditional cape (and fucking plate armor. You know, the plate armor that was fast becoming obsolete because of how effective guns were? That plate armor.) and if this is the one thing that ties all of these costumes together I don’t buy it. everything in this film is either loud and horrible or miserably bland. or you’re Milla Jovovich and you’re stuck in somebody’s nightmare dream of what period costume looked like
what is the waist on that dress
is that a peplum
it’s a shitty peplum, with fringe. shoot me.
okay I know these are supposed to be undergarments but UNDERGARMENTS FOR THOSE FUCKING HUGE DRESSES DID NOT WORK THAT WAY
HOW DID SHE SUPPORT THAT SKIRT? MAGIC? APPARENTLY.
and this is like. the most pernicious kind of Bad Costume Design, because on the surface it looks pretty good? but if you want to be a good costume designer you need your clothes to actually work and have consistent themes, and variations on that theme should be symbolically significant or point to things about your characters (also did you see that our leads are back to being disgustingly bland two pictures up? because I sure did!) and they should make SENSE and
there are a lot more movies like this out there. I have opinions about all of them.