so weird

Hey There, Keith (klance fansong)
Hey There, Keith (klance fansong)

KLANCE - Hey There, Keith (Lance’s POV)

Parody of Hey There, Delilah

Written and sung by Caroline (roguekeith)


Hey there, Keith,

What’s it like expelled from class?

It’s a long time since I’ve seen you

But I know you’re kickin’ ass

Out on the case.

I’m sure it’s better than…this place,

A change of pace.

Hey there, Keith,

Do you ever think about me?

I know that we had our problems,

But I’m feeling kinda lonely

Without you.

You and your stupid mullet ‘do

Make me feel blue.

Oh, I miss our rivalry

Oh, I miss our rivalry

Oh, you’re such a mystery

Oh, you’re such a mystery

Stupid mystery.

Hey there, Keith,

I know there’s no way you’ll hear me,

But I’ll talk to you


Cause it makes me feel you’re near me,

Though you’re not…

Not like you ever cared a lot

About me. Stop.

Hey there, Keith,

Why’d you always look right through me?

I know I’m not really good at stuff,

But that’s no reason to be

So alone.

You’re isolated on your throne.

Away you’ve flown.

Oh, I miss our rivalry

Oh, I miss our rivalry

Oh, you’re such a mystery

Oh, you’re such a mystery.

I’m laying here, my thoughts askew,

And Keith it’s all because of you,

You’re gone, and now I’ve made it in your place.

My friends, they all will joke with me,

And I just laugh along, but see,

I can’t stop thinking of your glaring face.

God, Keith, I can promise you

That what I said, it wasn’t true,

And now I’ll never ever get to tell…

Under your spell…

Hey there, Keith,

I’m still stuck inside the Garrison.

I feel weird,

I think there’s something

Not quite right here.

But you knew that,

Didn’t you?

They knew that you’re a smart one, too,

And they took care of that, how cruel.

Hey there, Keith, you come back soon.

Please, come back soon.

Oh, I miss our rivalry

Oh, I miss our rivalry

Oh, you’re such a mystery

Oh, you’re such a mystery

Miss my mystery.

  • Gryffindor: You need to get out more!
  • Ravenclaw: Why?
  • Gryffindor: Idk, socialness is good for you.
  • Ravenclaw: First of all, socialness isn't a word, and yes, social interaction is necessary for a healthy lifestyle...
  • Gryffindor: Sure, whatever, let's go!
  • *arrives at party*
  • Ravenclaw: *hides and reads book*


On Christmas Eve 1945, five of the Sodder Children—Maurice, 14; Martha 12; Louis, 9; Jennie, 8; and Betty, 5 — were trapped inside the family home when it caught fire at 1 a.m. Their father George tried valiantly to save them, but he couldn’t reenter the house. His daughter Marion raced to a neighbor’s place to call for the fire department, but no help arrived until 8 a.m. By then, the house was nothing but a pile of ash.

The remaining Sodders assumed the children were dead, but the Christmas Day search of the remains showed no bodies. It was suggested by the fire chief that the fire had been hot enough to completely cremate all five bodies.

But there was something else to consider. George Sodder, born Giorgio Soddu in Italy, was no fan of Mussolini — and he was not quiet about it. After refusing to purchase insurance from a salesman mere months prior to the fire, the salesman threatened him by saying, “Your goddamn house is going to go up in smoke, and your children are going to be destroyed. You are going to be paid for the dirty remarks you have been making about Mussolini.” Additionally, the older Sodder sons had noticed just before Christmas a man parked near their house, watching the children as they came home from school.

Jennie Sodder, the matriarch of the family, didn’t understand how there could be five children who died in the fire and not leave anything behind. A crematorium employee told her that bones could still remain intact in a two-hour fire at 2,000 degrees. Their house had burned down in 45 minutes. She also noticed that in the basement of their house, household appliances were burned and melted, but recognizable.

Many more odd occurrences turned up as the family wondered how and why this happened to them—their wiring had been cut and was not faulty as previously expected, a witness said they saw someone fiddling with George’s car, a family member said they had heard something hit the roof shortly before the fire—but one of the strangest things that happened was almost 20 years later in 1968.

Jennie Sodder received a letter addressed only to her, postmarked Kentucky with no return address. There was a photo of a dark-haired man in his 20s. On the other side was a handwritten note:

Louis Sodder. I love brother Frankie. Ilil Boys. A90132 or 35.

The man bore a striking resemblance to presumed-dead Louis Sodder. The family jumped at the opportunity and sent a private investigator to Kentucky—he was never heard from again.

The last remaining Sodder, Sylvia, still doesn’t believe her siblings died in that fateful fire, but no one has any further clues as to where—or why—they disappeared.


It’s been a while since I last drew a kelpie. In the Thauma-verse canon, these creatures are carnivorous living fossils that lurk in the darkest swamps of Equestria. (Crocodiles swimming in murky water have always looked super creepy to me, so I guess something like this would look just as awful. )