so waffle

Eventually will be joy.

EFF ME. Dammit.

spoilers: S5E05 Lucien X Jean




The words are barely perceptible over the roaring in Jean’s ears, white hot terror licking up from her toes to her eyes. Tears gather even as she squares her shoulders.

She wouldn’t be a widow again, before even remarrying.

Jean watches the familiar contours of Ballarat as they speed towards the hospital.

Her fist balls and she wonders who she should curse first. Lucien, for being so bloody insistent on getting himself into trouble. The church, for believing her love was a sin. Father Emery, for his sad commiseration. Herself, for waffling for so long over a choice that really wasn’t.

She finds herself twisting her ring, a new and embarrassing habit. She forces her tight hands to open and she stares at her palms.

“Have long love line. But broken. Heartache. Sorrow. Loss. Eventually will be joy.” She was 13 when she visited the carnival fortune-teller, flush with dreams of dashing gentleman and romance. It was against God to seek the future, but she couldn’t resist.

Her lack of resistance would, eventually, get her into trouble again and again.

Lucien is pale but not pallid. His breathing is deep and even and strong.

Jean aches to touch him, to run her lips over the thrum of his pulse.

And then she will pinch him, twisting until he swears never to be foolish again.

The bloody liar.

After everyone has gone, Jean sits beside him and holds Lucien’s hand.

She flips his palm and traces, studying the pale lines, thinking about God and the future and the futility of regret.

“What do you see?” Lucien rumbles.

Jean exhales, and the tight knot in her chest loosens. She’s taken so much for granted to this point. The inevitability of love. His mortality. Time.

She kisses his palm.


  • Hufflepuff: Time to get up and greet the morning!
  • Ravenclaw: *incoherent mumbling*
  • Hufflepuff: You really should get out of bed.
  • Ravenclaw: *more incoherent mumbling*
  • Hufflepuff: *sighs* I'll make you waffles if you get up now.
  • Ravenclaw: ...okay.

in a hundred lifetimes, i’d choose you

i don’t think i’ve quite processed what a Jem novella series could actually mean

  • he will be on the COVER
  • a whole book in HIS POV
  • stories about his life, I assume, both as a silent brother, as a shadowhunter, and as a mundane
  • so that means we are going to probably see him readjust to his life THREE different times 
  • if the Jessa kids rumour is true we are either going to see Jem & Tessa talk about having children or Tessa revealing to Jem that she’s pregnant (or both)
  • which could lead us into experiencing Jem as a dad for the first time
  • honestly i hope we see him grow closer to Emma too
  • more Jem and Church moments 
  • Jem Carstairs will be the main character, the lead, 100% about him
  • we may get to know more of his history
  • we may even have to experience reading the full story of how he had to become dependant on Yin Fen
  • we are most likely going to hear from a him directly what it is/was like to be dependant on Yin Fen
  • we are probably going to experience it first hand
  • we are going to hear about all the stories of the people he loved
  • we are going to get a whole novella series (i assume 10 novellas) JUST ABOUT JEM CARSTAIRS