The Emoji Movie review
[NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS AN OVEREXAGGERATION. PLEASE DO NOT WORRY OR TAKE HOW I SAY THINGS 100% SERIOUSLY. THIS MOVIE HAS NOT ACTUALLY MADE ME SUICIDAL.]
This is it. The Emoji Movie. A film I and the rest of the world have been dreading. Today I have finally seen this film, and… it has drained me of all will to live. This is it; I can’t live in this world any longer after having seen this movie. This has to be my last review, because I can no longer live in a world where this movie exists.
Is it because it’s so abysmally bad as all the reviews said? Is it truly the worst animated film ever made, an utterly soulless cash grab of a movie? What could drive me to my death like this?
The fact that… I just… even after seeing it, I just can’t muster up the absolutely vitriolic hatred everyone else seems to have for it. It’s not even bad. It’s not even good. It’s just… meh. This movie is meh. And after getting so hyped up to see the worst animated film ever, this is… disappointing. Heart-breakingly, soul-crushingly disappointing.
So, what is the story here? Well, Ralph is a villain who feels out of pl- uh, sorry, Emmet is a LEGO man who wants to conform but ju- oh, um, pardon. Joy is an emotion who… okay, you get the idea. This film is nothing but a bald-faced, shameless ripoff of the plots of a dozen better films. The “Be yourself” message, the hero who wants to conform but learns to love being expressive, the journey to find oneself… it has been done to death, and done a billion times better. This movie is just every animated cliché ever. Fuck, the whole trailer revealed the entire plot and story arc in two minutes.