so utterly disappointed with this movie

The Emoji Movie review

[NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS AN OVEREXAGGERATION. PLEASE DO NOT WORRY OR TAKE HOW I SAY THINGS 100% SERIOUSLY. THIS MOVIE HAS NOT ACTUALLY MADE ME SUICIDAL.] 

This is it. The Emoji Movie. A film I and the rest of the world have been dreading. Today I have finally seen this film, and… it has drained me of all will to live. This is it; I can’t live in this world any longer after having seen this movie. This has to be my last review, because I can no longer live in a world where this movie exists.

 Is it because it’s so abysmally bad as all the reviews said? Is it truly the worst animated film ever made, an utterly soulless cash grab of a movie? What could drive me to my death like this?

 The fact that… I just… even after seeing it, I just can’t muster up the absolutely vitriolic hatred everyone else seems to have for it. It’s not even bad. It’s not even good. It’s just… meh. This movie is meh. And after getting so hyped up to see the worst animated film ever, this is… disappointing. Heart-breakingly, soul-crushingly disappointing.

So, what is the story here? Well, Ralph is a villain who feels out of pl- uh, sorry, Emmet is a LEGO man who wants to conform but ju- oh, um, pardon. Joy is an emotion who… okay, you get the idea. This film is nothing but a bald-faced, shameless ripoff of the plots of a dozen better films. The “Be yourself” message, the hero who wants to conform but learns to love being expressive, the journey to find oneself… it has been done to death, and done a billion times better. This movie is just every animated cliché ever. Fuck, the whole trailer revealed the entire plot and story arc in two minutes.

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My thoughts on wonder woman

So I finally went to see wonder woman. Boy, do I have thoughts. I mean I’ve been scouring tumblr for wondertrev goodies and you guys did not disappoint. Seriously, I love and appreciate you all, but there’s a few things that I’d like to point out about the gorgeousness that is a movie like Wonder Woman. It’s not just the otp chemistry that is Diana and Steve. It’s also the utter beauty of their interactions with secondary and even “lesser” characters portrayed in the movie.

First there’s Etta, Steve’s Secretary. It’s utterly obvious to her that Diana is new, not to mention sort of naive to her surroundings and customs of 1900s London. Yet, Etta never takes this opportunity to ridicule or minimize her new friend. No cruel remarks or weird looks were directed at Diana. Not Fucking once. As a matter of fact, Etta lifts her up by commenting on Diana’s beauty. The amazing thing is that she takes Diana’s eccentricities in stride and rather makes it a point to treat her as an equal. I just, I can’t y'all. Even Ares the God of war treats Etta with respect and values her opinions. So much so that he makes her his personal Secretary and trusts her with decision making.

Now on to Charlie. My beautiful tortured
Scotsman. Words cannot explain my delight at seeing someone with PTSD. Why? Simply because for once a character with such an obscure backstory is not usually shown as human. They’re mostly seen as stoic robots with no emotions. Yet here was Charlie, funny, a bit reckless, and he liked to portray himself as an uncaring idiot. But he was so much more. The fact that he had a flashback and froze when his team needed him was immensely important to me. I’ve had such moments myself. Yet, Steve and the rest of the crew worked around his needs. There was no reproach or belittling. They try to calm him and instead focus on his strengths, which was singing and observations. Not to mention he was extremely brave and loyal til the end. His PTSD didn’t define him. It was just another part of him and for once it didn’t make him weak.

Now on to Chief. It was incredible to see such a strong character and he was treated like any human. His native roots was not a blanket with which to shroud him. He was more level headed than Sameer and Charlie but with his own sorrows and expectations of the world around him. He was open minded enough to realize that race was not a factor for good or evil. He took people as they were. Gave them a chance. Not once did you see hate depicted for the people that cause his suffering. He was remorseful yes, but it was something that he didn’t dwell on because doing so would poison his heart and turn him into the very people who killed his family. He was forgiving or else he wouldn’t have trusted someone like Steve or Charlie. He knew he had to put his pain aside and accept his past in order to move on and make life his own.

Sameer my charismatic baby doll. He wanted to be an actor yet he put his dreams aside to do what he thought was important. Sure, he lied and he most certainly was in the fighting for money at the beginning, but he was respectful. He valued everyone and he was proud of who he was. He appreciated beauty but never once over stepped his bounds. He was impressed by the skills everyone exhibited and loyal to the core. He was so brave. His character wasn’t treated like a token Indian man. He was shorter than his other counterparts but I didn’t even notice it. Everyone was of different height, presence and body type yet none of these characteristics were singled out. Each had their own strength and boy I just LOVED this movie. Expect me to post write and generally cram your feed with Wonder Woman goodness. Good night and hopefully this post wasn’t too long.

Ok I've meaning to write this for a while so here goes:

Man, Tamatoa changed my fucking life. He’s the reason I’m on Tumblr in the first place. He actually helped me begin healing from some very deep personal losses. My grandfather and beloved dog Sarge died in August within one day of each other. My grandpa’s body and grandma’s ashes were buried in September. I didn’t think I’d ever be ok again. My grandma died a few years earlier and my life slowly started becoming more depressing and stressful. It culminated in the deaths of my dog and grandfather. And my grandparents’ house where my dog is now buried will probably be sold because we can’t afford the taxes. I spent half of my childhood there. It was my other home. In some ways my true home. A place I always thought would be there, in the background, a place that I could always return to. And now it might be gone.

So by the time Moana was released in theatres I was already feeling horrible. And of course we all know what happened on “Election Day”. I needed to get out of the house. I needed a distraction-something to take my mind off of things and just have some fun. I thought Moana looked cute and was curious as to how Disney would handle a story set in Ancient Polynesia. So I went and saw it. I had a blast throughout the beginning of the film and was impressed with how Disney gracefully handled the culture. It felt respectful and fun at the same time. And it was hilarious. I loved all the characters.

And then we got to Tamatoa. I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting him at all. I didn’t read up on the film prior to seeing it as I wanted to be surprised. And boy was I. At first I was uncomfortable to be honest. I cringed. I thought Tamatoa was going to be one of those characters that was trying to be funny but wasn’t. Except god bless Jemaine Clement because Tamatoa was a hoot from the get go. I was like “Ok, he’s kinda edgy what with the whole ‘I ate my gramma!’ bit. Interesting direction Disney.” And then he started singing. I cringed again because I thought “Oh crap this time it’s gonna bad.” But as the song went on I noticed him being more and more cruel. And then Maui showed up. I was like “Oh shit! Shit’s about to go down.” And then his hook doesn’t work and it’s double oh shit. And then it’s like a switch had been flipped. Tama’s voice got deeper (and sexier) and his grin when he goes “Well, well, well,” was actually creepy. He then begins beating the shit out of Maui and his cruelty goes up to eleven. It becomes personal. I started grinning like an idiot because holy shit this is dark for Disney’s recent stuff. Like explicitly dark.

And then the lights went out.

I was speechless when his bioluminescence came on. My heart sang. The bridge was so beautiful and meaningful and his markings were absolutely gorgeous and inspired. I was utterly blown away by the last third of “Shiny”. That sequence alone sealed Moana as my favorite Disney movie. No joke. And I was so disappointed that there was no more of him in the movie 😫!

And I watched the rest if the film and of course was blown away and blubbering. Watching Grandma Tala made me cry of course. But as I got out I became obsessed with this film and Tamatoa in particular. I began searching for more info and pictures of him online. I eventually joined Tumblr after lingering around for a bit and joined the fandom here and let me tell it was the best decision I have ever made when it came to my online life. I have made so many friends here and I am having so much fun. I am learning so much and encountering beautiful and hilarious and inspiring stuff here all the time. My life has been broadened by coming onto to here.

And all of that is thanks to a giant singing shiny coconut crab monster.

So I just want to say thank you Disney for bringing us such a memorable and wonderful character. Thank you Lin Manuel Miranda for writing “Shiny” and thank you Jemaine Clement for bringing him to life.

And thank you Tamatoa. You have helped me beyond measure. I love you.

Watching a Horror Movie with NCT

Request: Can you make a reaction od NCT U to watching horror movie with you?

***

Winwin: “We don’t have to watch this.“ He didn’t want to admit that he was a wuss when it came to scary movies. He was easily scared, which caused him to bury his face in your neck most of the movie, but you didn’t mind, he was too cute.

Originally posted by y-ta

Jaehyun: “Is this supposed to be scary?” He can’t contain his laughter when he sees how fake the blood looks. You vow to never watch another scary movie with him since he never takes them seriously.

Originally posted by yonges

Taeil: He tries to do agyeo for you to persuade you to turn it off, but in the end you keep it on. Much to his dismay, you pry his hands from his face when a scary part comes on. “You like to see me suffer, don’t you?” He whispers and you snuggle up to him, comforting him.

Originally posted by taeilmun

Taeyong: “Big Hero 6!” He yells but when the movie starts, he’s utterly disappointed, “What is..is this a scary movie? I wanted to watch a Disney movie…” He’s not scared of horror films but he prefers animations instead.

Originally posted by once-u-jongin-u-never-jongout

Mark: “You tricked me. You said it wasn’t scary!” The movie on screen was one about a psycho serial killer who was looking for his sister during Halloween. After he protests through the whole movie, you make it up to him by watching whatever he wanted. Laughing, he says, “I’ll get you back, I promise.”

Originally posted by highdowns

Doyoung: “Pleeeeease.” He uses his puppy dog eyes on you to get you to change the channel. He’s so cute you couldn’t day no. You changed it and he peppered kisses all over your face, “You’re the best, jagiya!”

Originally posted by trainingpanda

Ten: “Take it out now, or you’ll regret it.” You defied him, keeping the movie in the player.  He liked movies that involved less gore and this certainly had too  much for him. When you didn’t take it out, he threw you over his shoulder and took you to the bedroom. With a smirk he says, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Originally posted by taesyong


***

La La Land (2017)

A woman kicked up her feet, left a car, started to dance, and I was charmed. La La Land is a story about a romance between an aspiring actress and a devoted jazz bro. Oh, and it’s a musical built on the legacy of mid-century French and Hollywood movie musicals. It’s reference-laden, beautiful, at times subversive and smart, but at others hollow, and I am utterly charmed. 

Through some convenient circumstances, Mia (Emma Stone) and Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) keep running into each other and start dating around LA after a “this is romantic, but not for us because I totally definitely certainly don’t like you” song. 

The cinematography is beautiful, LA looks amazing and timeless. Technology is present and a reminder that we’re in the 21st Century.  The music is also beautiful and slightly failed by the lyrics and the fact that Ryan Gosling is not a singer. (Emma Stone’s singing disappoints me at times as well, but she redeems herself enough to get me past asking why it wasn’t Anna Kendrick.) 

However, my vocal complaints are more than made-up for by the fact that Gosling and Stone are wonderful, hilarious and multi-faceted actors. Gosling gives Sebastian great idiosyncracies and their relationship feels utterly real. The costumes are perfect, the choreography is great, but what makes this movie most special is the ending. It’s not the end you think is coming, nor is it necessarily the ending American movies do, but it’s so special. 

Damien Chazelle writes love letters to jazz starring white people, and that’s problematic, and it should be mentioned in the hopes he stops doing that.  It’s Oscar season and there are many great movies in theaters, and many more original stories of people often underserved by the Hollywood movie finance machine, but Ryan Gosling tap dances and leans against a lamp-post.

Seeing it is not a waste of a lovely night. 

Why I don’t think Mad Max should be hailed as the feminist movie of our generation:

1. Although every woman in this grotesque dystopia are sex slaves, Furiosa chooses to only save the ones who all are extremely thin, conventionally pretty, and mostly white (played by models). The others are shown being milked in a scene too, but they just leave them all behind with no mention of it. So the only women worth saving are those that please the male gaze, are you fucking kidding me?

2. The women barely have lines (to be fair there isnt much dialogue between explosions). 

3. Max is haunted bc he failed to save previous women in his life, so he tries to save other women, as though all women need his help, he is a classic white knight character.

4. Despite the movie supposedly being about the struggle and strength of women, the main protagonist is a man, Max.

5. All of the women are entirely free of body hair, despite it being the apocalypse. No one has water but they have razors and shaving cream to shave there legs and armpits, god forbid we show body hair on women old enough to be pregnant!

I just think we could do a lot better and I am not going to worship the (male) director just because this film isn’t as horrifically misogynist as everything else out there- but that doesn’t make this the feminist masterpiece of the fucking century for fucks sake. If this is accepted, applauded as a feminist film I am sad to think about what isn’t a feminist film, the bar is seriously so low it disgusts me. It is sad that something minimally feminist is considered progressive, it says a lot about how horribly misogynist our culture is. 

I went into this movie excited to finally have some good feminist icons in an otherwise male dominated and often misogynistic genre, and was utterly disappointed and confused. I’m all for feminist action films and I think we can do better.

annabellioncourt  asked:

What's your honest opinion of the 2007 Alice in Wonderland? Everyone seems to either love it or hate. Though its not exactly a gothic film so much as a dark fantasy...

:: sigh ::

I thought it was really pretty, and it had a few shining moments (young Alice’s father reassuring her that all the best people were mad). But on the whole, I was utterly disappointed in it. I felt the story was lackluster, the dialog was weak, it felt like Mr. Burton’s attention and focus weren’t really there, and dear spirits above and below, we DO NOT discuss that … dance … thing the Hatter did at the end of the movie. 

(True story: when I saw the movie in the theatre, at that moment I recoiled so hard I knocked the 3D glasses off my face.)

I wanted to love the movie. And like I said, it is very pretty. But it wasn’t what I had hoped for

A Word on Killer Croc in the DCCU

So many people are mad about Killer Croc in Suicide Squad being “coded black” even though he “doesn’t even have normal skin” and like……

Waylon Jones is black. He is a person of color. Before the mutation he currently exhibits took hold, Waylon Jones was already a young black boy. And the scaly adaptation he wears didn’t undo that.

So while there are some VERY cringey racial comments and implications in Suicide Squad, this is not one of the ones to be wasting breath debating. Waylon Jones is a POC and a very cool character to explore the story of -

So let’s be more pissed off that his character was reduced to the “silently brooding muscle” of the team and the utterly disappointing lack of backstory we got for him, rather than his being “coded” black - because he IS black and, in his own words, fuckin’ beautiful.