so this is what my life is now

anonymous asked:

why do ppl feel the need to put in their bio if they're trans or something.. like, just say you are a boy and thats it. not like anyone cares if you're trans or gay lmao

i care! i spent years, nearly half my life so far, living in revulsion and terror at myself for being a gay trans man. i had to reclaim the beauty of myself from the trauma that society instilled in me, and now that i’ve found true comfort and elation in my gender and sexuality, you bet i’m going to be overt about it. it’s a fundamental part of who i am as a person!

besides, if you have to talk like that, you’re obviously not a marginalized person who understands what it’s like to be marginalized or why it’s important for me to be open about these things. lgbt people are still getting harassed, abused, and murdered on a regular basis just for being lgbt! and until that changes i’m going to do what i can to be the gay trans role model that confused and frightened lgbt youth on here might need. being a gay trans man is a blessing that i’m thankful for every day of my life and i’ll flaunt it as much as i please, thanks

scaredlittlebug  asked:

Could our trans body positivity experts talk about accepting/normalizing scars after surgery?

When I first got my top surgery, I was so concerned about my scars. I didn’t want anyone to be able to point at me and say “what are those?” because then I felt like it would out me. But then I realized something- those scars represent a really hard time in my life. A time where my body felt like a prison I could not escape. But I did! I did escape and now I am free- so why would I want to hide that? Of course no one wants to be looked at or pointed at (and honestly I rarely hear any stories about people being asked about their scars from complete strangers) but now I hold my scars like a badge of honor. A confirmation that I did have something in my life, something big, that I was able to overcome. I was able to put up with the dysphoria and it didn’t kill me. It made me feel so happy to know that I survived. And with the statistics of Transgender suicides, that’s a pretty big deal!

anonymous asked:

I think this fandom has definitely lost the little piece of soul left. My best friend, who I've known forever, died yesterday from leukemia. He was my companion, the only person I really trusted, loved. There is a hole in me that will never disappear. 29 years are not enough, were not enough. He should have been with me for another 60 more. I don't know what to do, how I should behave. And the I read that message so full of hate... I have lost my life and now my safe place as well.

Anon I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart truly breaks for you. I wish I had the words to make you feel better but I know when you’re going through tremendous grief that there’s very little that helps. Please know that we’re all here for you. We love you and we care for you and we’ll be here to get you through it. You haven’t lost your safe place. We cannot let these hateful people take that away from us ever again. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“(Right) I’m not sure if I want to live a life that makes me happy or one that is respected by others. If I really answer honestly, I want to live a life that people respect, whether it’s the money I have or my position at work. I’ve been contemplating this these days. But if I live according to what other people want, is there really a reason for me to live as myself?”
“(Left) I have to work overtime at my company a lot. In the past, I used to think that even if I work a lot, I’m still young, so I’d be able to learn as much. But now, I feel that my body is slowly wearing down, so I’m getting ready to change jobs. I feel a bit lost because I haven’t decided where I want to go, but I now I want to work at a place that gives me enough free time.”

“(오른쪽) 내가 만족을 하는 삶과 남한테 인정받는 삶 중 어떤 게 내 삶이 되어야하는지 잘 모르겠어요. 정말 솔직하게 답하면 다른 사람한테 인정받는 삶을 살고 싶어요. 그게 돈이든 직업이든 직책이든. 요즘 계속 그 고민을 하고 있어요. 그런데 남들 비위에 맞추면서 산다면 나로서 살아가는 이유가 있는 걸까요? “
“(왼쪽) 지금 다니는 회사가 야근이 정말 많아요. 예전엔 일을 많이 하더라도 아직 젊으니까 일을 많이 하는만큼 배울 수 있을거라고 생각했는데, 이제는 점점 몸이 망가지는게 느껴져요. 그래서 이직을 준비하고 있어요. 아직 어디로 가야할지 정하지 못해서 막막한데, 이제는 제 시간이 보장되는 그런 곳에서 일하고 싶어요." 

anonymous asked:

I'm so excited to read what chain of events exactly lead to Viktor being so possessive and desperate in chapter 10 in your companion fic! Until now I interpreted it as him being jealous of Yuuri's (nonexistent) other lovers and whether that is correct or not, I think will enjoy Viktor drawing some false conclusions about Yuuri's love life😆

I will keep most things under close wraps until the companion fic but I will mention that in chapter 12 Viktor asks Yuuri about other lovers. Not previous lovers like he does in the show. Other lovers. 

Life sucks, but I’m glad I’m here with you // Jughead x Reader

Here’s a little drabble because I’m going through one of my regular moments where I don’t know what to do except write it down. This is for anyone feeling alone and stuck. Not knowing what do to is the worst and writing or talking about it sort of helps me cope for a little while.

I think I’ve made this non gender specific but if you see any slips ups, please let me know and I will sort it out.

I went with asexual Jughead, I think. I’m not too well-versed in everything involving asexuality so please explain it to me if I’m labelling this wrong.

I like writing about Riverdale and Jughead because that’s what I’ve been focusing on for a while now, plus if you saw my earlier post where I broke down you can see how much I love cole.

School sucks. Everything sucks. Home life sucks. Your friends suck. You suck.

Repeating this mantra in your head is not a clever thing to do. It eats at you, leaves you in a constant state of misery. You just don’t know how to stop yourself. Hating the world is exhausting and doing it all alone doesn’t help either.

Keep reading


OMG! I’m speechless. I just received a hateful ask talking nonsense about Jared, but you know what anon I won’t post in this blog not now not never, a single word of hate about a person that’s only doing the things he loves in life and sharing it with all of us. If you don’t like someone just ignore him but it’s very low to talk shit about him. Just so you now this is MY blog and I’ll always post about him every single fucking day that I want. Just fuck off I don’t want hate about him in my blog. This is my happy place and is dedicated to him. Block me and block every Jared blog you ignorant people, you don’t know him at all to hate him and insult him just mind your fucking business and go with your hate somewhere else.

anonymous asked:

Congrats on your coming out! If you don't mind me asking, how did you know you were panromantic and ace?

Ah, okay. Rant time.

So for almost my whole life I thought I was straight, then I fell for my best friend in seventh grade. I then realized I was probably bi, and I assumed that up until a few months ago.

I then realized that I didn’t really care what gender someone was, as long as there’s love. Sounds weird coming from me, the emotionless one.

Now the asexual part was pretty recent. I never really “got” sex, didn’t understand the appeal. Porn did nothing for me (watched it once, noped out pretty fast), then, dare I say it, the whole concept of sex disgusted me. So I went, “that’s asexual, isn’t it? But then I’m pan, so how does that work if I’m not sexually attracted to people? So confusing.”

Then I learned about panromantic asexuals. It’s more common than I thought it was, and I finally figured out who I am. It’s been three months, and I’m certain this is the way it has to be.

But everyone has different experiences.

Drew this (galactic) idiot for @perrydowning‘s Writer Anniversary.

Thought I should post it now that we surprised her. It was so weird keeping it a secret, because I literally tell her everything.. 

Thanks Perry for being so patient with me. Always encouraging me to get more involved and listening to my rants. 

And last but not least, thanks for your stories, They breathe life into me.. Your Devoted Reylo is what I am here for! And sometimes only thing that can calm this hyperactive brain down. Well you know that already. 

I’m so confounded by the way we’re raised to value attractiveness as the ultimate achievement in life. The never ending race to achieve something so abstract, its such an unnecessary burden on us. I spent the first half of my life trying to figure out what constitutes beauty and ultimately defining myself as ugly and nothing else because of constant comparisons and insults from boys which eventually shaped my own view of my appearance. I took more stock in insults from men than in compliments from anyone else because the world taught me the superiority of the male gaze. Words like “beautiful” have no absolutely meaning to me now coming from men because I learned at a young age that those weren’t words for me and have no association with my face, my body. Now that I’m older and find myself “fitting” the standards of beauty my subconscious is torn between flattery and disgust. The little girl in me feels flattered and successful in being the recipient of attention and compliments while being a man’s ideal but the current me feels uncomfortable, confused, and slightly wronged. When boys/men hit on me I feel like I’m playing the wrong part of a script and I can’t comprehend the concept. It’s hard for me to grasp the idea of beauty, it’s fluctuation, and it’s forced significance over the course of our lives.

formal apology for all the inactivity on this blog and on my marik blog…  the convention i got back from last week rly set me behind for the last few weeks in terms of keeping up with both replies and my personal life and i’ve been in a bit of a slump with my writing muse just the last week…  but i’m working on reorganizing myself and my blogs and so far i’ve been making progress ;w;  i’m hoping to catch up on the replies and starters i owe by the end of this week.  for now, i won’t be doing any new threads just so i can focus on what i’ve got, and i want to thank you all SO much for being patient with me sobs i feel awful that some of you have waited so long for things from me ;-;

If Harry Potter had Narration
  • Narrating Harry: I was so busy looking for those Horcruxes, I almost forgot the most important thing...
  • Actual Harry: *goes up to Draco before leaving to sacrifice himself*
  • Actual Draco: Potter, what are you-
  • Actual Harry: *kisses him* chose the right side Draco. Save them if I can't.
  • Narrating Harry: I had my own life to live before I ended it for them... for him.
  • Actual Harry: *turns to run down the stairs and into the forest to die*
  • Actual Draco: *grabs his wrist* *looks Harry in the eye* I will. I'm so sorry-
  • Actual Harry: Don't. All that matters is that you're on our side now. *takes wrist back* *runs down the stairs*
  • Narrating Draco: *to narrating Harry* And I made you proud, right?
  • Narrating Harry: *breathy laugh* yeah, you did

I wanna throw up i hate myself so much right now. I feel ignored and useless and i can’t do anything right and i’ve never finished anything in my entire fucking life i swear. if i have to fucking live in my car to stay away from food then that’s what i’ll do. im done. so fucking done. this is the LAST time i sit at home all day wishing my life would get better. im going to go out and get better.

I think I’m gonna take a break from posting up here for a while. I’m still gonna post on Instagram and be around liking posts and stuff but I’m just really not up for trying to keep this blog updated with posts and selfies and what not so when my queue runs out I’ll be done with posting for a while. I’m okay it’s just I’ve had a rough month, and especially this weekend where my life has changed a bit and I’m in a very somber mood all the time. I’m just sad and thinking about the “what ifs” that bum me out a lot. I went from the happiest I’ve been honestly ever in my life to not so happy and it’s taken a lot out of me. I’ll bounce back. I always do.

peace out for now


The End

The End

Characters – Dean x Reader

Summary – The reader tries to accept her dying fate.

Word Count – 1,500

Warnings – dying of cancer, refusal of care, burning personal items.  

A/N – This is my first shot at angst, like giving it a good try. This is based off The End by My Chemical Romance. Let me know what you think. Would love to hear!


Originally posted by findmeplease

Now come one come all to this tragic affair

Wipe off that makeup, what in is despair

So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot

You might wake up and notice you’re someone you’re not

Stage four cancer. That was not part of your plan in life. Stage four small cell carcinoma lung cancer was not what you’d expected. At your age it didn’t seem like that many people were getting cancer, instead they were dying from freak accidents.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

personally i think a lot of people exaggerate when they talk about the gore in ks, i feel like i've seen much much worse. the washing machine thing is probably the worst thing ya gonna see. it's not torture porn imho so i recommend to at least give it a try!

Well, it was a long weekend for me, especially since I had my worst cold of the last few years, which left me unconscious for a full day and right now I’m recovering. The day before that I started to read and then… I expected more. 

It’s not something I would casually recommend, how can I say it? The acting of the characters is certainly unpredictable, but it’s far from being in the good sense and certainly I don’t know what has happened previously in the artist’s life but it’s not something to put to discussion, to put it in quick terms, NOT RECOMMENDED AT ALL.

Even if many people don’t want to accept the story is just a nonsense that only seeks to appeal to the morbid, a torture porn that has no substance, and the mental problems of the characters don’t attract me enough to wait for a solution to them, even seeing it which has happened in the last chapter, I would say that they have even worsened to almost vomiting and insane levels.

I’m so sorry because some of my lovely mutuals recommended to me with a very good intention but certainly this thing is not something I would recommend to anyone else.

Besides that, you want to know the only good thing this manhwa has? 

Exactly, Sang Woo’s abs.

the doctor said i’m doing well. yes i’m still suffering, but our try is to fight my bulimia laterally. in the last 10 years i took meds, i went in a community, i saw 5 psychiatrists, 4 psychologists, 5 dieticians and i failed all the times, so it’s clear that i can’t win focusing only on the problem. probably, the most clever thing is to concentrate myself upon good things of my life, and slowly give them more attention to make my bulimia and my depression smaller. what i know about me now is that i’m a good person, and that people like me for real. people like me even if i’m fat..!

ok sorry,

people like me even if i dislike my appearance..!