so this is my mind at 5am

amoralamusement  asked:

Hello, I always enjoy the work on this Tumblr. It's informative, interesting, and satisfying. Anyway, being an Ne dom like yourself, do you have any tips to not be overwhelmed by Ne a.k.a. How to Train Your Ne? I admit there are times when the ideas are buzzing and I yearn for stimulation then I become drained to the point of being physically tired.

Good timing, since I was just reading about Si-grips last night and realizing I basically live in one six months out of the year. :P

I’m not sure exactly what you mean, so I’ll cover all the bases I can think of.

There’s pretty much four stages in my life:

Ne-dom Extraordinaire: this is when you are the unbeatable monarch in your field, when you are on such a roll that not only do you finish your project ahead of the damn deadline, you went ahead and did sixteen other magnificent things that day too, just because your brain was on such a rush of SO MANY IDEAS. For example: you felt good about finishing your essay, so you wrote six movie reviews, four e-mails, 26 blog posts, and worked on your book to boot. And then you went to bed with a smile on your face because damn, I’m so fine.

Ne-dom Uninspired: this is when you feel “meh.” Not awesomesauce, not the lowest of the low, just plain MEH. Meh for a Ne-dom equals: semi-bored, semi-uninspired, semi-annoyed about it. Now, a sane person on this day goes and watches 24 episodes of ALIAS in a row to chill. Me, I FORCE myself to be ‘creative.’ And because I’m generally good at what I do, it comes out fine. Not knock your socks off stupendous, not awful, not even average, just fine. But it feels like dragging my brain through a cheese grater and I go to bed mad that my Ne-brain was lazy as hell today. Like, it’s supposed to be AMAZING all the time!!! What’s up with this?!

Ne-dom Bored-as-Hell: generally, this happens when your life is stagnant, or you are stuck on the same god-awful project for weeks, or your friends have not spoken to you in days, and you are so bored you can hardly stand it, but NOTHING appeals to you. You crave something, but don’t know what it is. You drag yourself through the work / school day like a fish on dry land, you scope the depths of depression, you maybe force yourself to do stuff, but it’s a clear indication that your Ne is STARVING TO DEATH. You must feed it. How? That’s up to you. Get in the car and drive. Go hang out with someone. Start learning something new. Read a book that you know you’ll hate, and blow your own mind by loving it. Try something totally, radically different.

Don’t be like me, and dye your hair purple and cut into a punk rock style. Although, God knows I looked adorable.

Ne-dom Work-a-Holic: also known as tunnel vision, also known as inferior Si grip, also known as the perfect way to make yourself exhausted at the end of the day. Picture a nice normal Ne being a freight train barreling through a tunnel at 976 miles per hour. Now picture a peasant maiden (or peasant lad, if that’s you’re thing) running out onto the tracks, and holding it in place for about 15 hours. It grinds to a halt, its wheels start to smoke, and the peasant maiden/lad is inching forward at, oh, about 6 miles per hour. Fast by her standards, slow by yours. Now imagine that’s what happens to your Ne, when you develop tunnel vision. All that power, going nowhere fast. Imagine the tremendous energy that just ground to a halt. The creeping subconscious despair of the engineer. You are both the peasant maiden/lad and the freight train. See the problem? You are ripping yourself apart. How’s that peasant maiden/lad going to feel at the end of the day?

Yup. Exhausted.

Now, what if that peasant maiden does this day after day for about a week?

Exhausted. Mental exhaustion, from holding back the train, forcing Ne to stay on one topic, or focus on “boring” things for days on end. Where’s the fun? Where’s the zany? Where’s the sarcasm and jokes and random connections? Hello, inferior Si. Obsessive compulsive, aren’t you? Fixated. BAD.

How to Train Your Ne:

1) Give yourself permission to stick to one idea for awhile.

I get it. You will have thousands of great ideas in a single lifetime, or maybe even a week. If you follow all of them right now, you will never finish anything. Do what I do: think about them, ponder them, don’t let them get too developed, and write down the ones you want to hold onto, put them in a jar, and… walk away with the biggest, shiniest, most exciting idea you just had. The others will keep. Let them stew in their juices. Focus on THIS IDEA.

2) Reward yourself for finishing things.

If you want to accomplish something, give your Ne what it wants – a challenge, and a reward. I used to motivate myself through “boring” tasks by setting time deadlines and writing like a bat out of hell, or dividing the task up into separate shorter parts that I can cross off after I do them. That shows me I am making progress. Right now, I’m sitting next to a half-crossed-off list of chapters in my book, which I am proof-reading / editing. Each time a pink line goes through someone’s name, I know I’m THIS MUCH CLOSER to finishing. THIS MUCH CLOSER to starting a NEW project. THIS MUCH CLOSER TO THAT PIECE OF CHOCOLATE I PROMISED MYSELF.


3) Accept that you cannot be at 110% all the time.

This may be hard for you to hear, but you’re a normal human being. You need sleep. You need rest. You need food. You need days off, and dates, and to go places, and be with people, and do things other than your job or your school or writing or whatever it is that occupies 90% of your time. Those normal things that a sensor can do without much fuss, wear you out. Tedious details wear you out. Planning wears you out. Keeping track of things wears you out. The temptation when this happens is to under-estimate what you, as a low Si, needs – which is a break. You tend to way overestimate what you can do in a single week, and sometimes you get way too much on your plate… so, if you know about things in advance that are going to “drain” your Ne, because it requires other, lower functions to be heavily used in your stack, plan to limit your interaction with those functions in excess of your responsibilities.

In other words, if you (me) have to do a bunch of tedious line-editing at work, it is not a good idea for me to come home and do… a bunch of tedious line-editing on my novel at the same time. That’s all Te/Si stuff.

Ne-stuff is… new ideas, new people, new philosophies, reading things that excite your mind and imagination and help you see things in a different way, or watching something new, or going somewhere where you can just be yourself. Your Ne cannot run on full power all the time, especially when you’re trying to hold back the freight train – so give yourself permission to take time off.

4) Pace yourself.

This piggybacks on the above, but as a Ne-dom, you way over-estimate how much you can do physically. Things like going places, driving for hours, being in crowds, walking long distances, etc., are tiring to someone with minimal sensing. Ne-doms need down time, to process their experiences. You are an introverted extrovert. Remember that, and give yourself down time. Try not to be out and about 24/7. But don’t stay home all the time either. That’s a cesspool of Ne-draining boredom waiting to happen.

5) Either do it right now or write it down.

My usual pattern is: get a good thought about 10pm. Then springboard into another idea. Then zip over that way for more ideas. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, telling myself to go to sleep, while thinking about everything I should talk about, investigate, or do in the morning. By morning, of course, either the ideas are all gone or I have lost any motivation to do them. Some of my best work is from dropping everything and doing it RIGHT NOW. Strike while the iron is hot, my dander is up, whatever. Some of my best short stories or articles came from getting up at 5am and pounding the keyboard. So, do it NOW… or write it down. If you write it down, you won’t have to try and remember it (also a chore for Ne).

The best things you can do for your Ne are the following:

  • Accept that this is who I am, and it’s okay.
  • Realize that mundane or tedious tasks drain your Ne
  • Let your mind wander
  • Give yourself permission to fantasize
  • Reward periods of the mundane with fun activities
  • Never let a week go by without planning something ‘fun’
  • Stimulate yourself with constant NEW things (books, movies, music)
  • Read a wide variety of things on a continual basis
  • Give yourself challenges and deadlines to beat
  • Make sure they are SHORT-TERM (you cannot stay too long)
  • Always have something in the immediate future to look forward to

Hope that helps.

(This week on tumblr has been DULL. Is it just me or is it dead?! Thank God for a new Doctor Who tomorrow! I need me some NEW Capaldi + Bill Potts. I totally want to be her best friend and hang out in space and eat blue cubes together.)

- ENFP Mod

Insomnia isn’t a pretty girl with a messy bun and a cup of coffee in her hand.
Insomnia is being awake at 5 am because your head won’t shut up.
Insomnia is being so tired it feels like passing out, but not being able to close your eyes and fucking sleep.
It’s your head screaming and finding tiny little things to fixate on.
It’s having to take medicine every single night just to get a few hours of sleep.
Insomnia is people not understanding that when you say that you’re tired, you don’t mean “I am so tired, I only got like 6 hours of sleep”, it’s meaning “I am so tired because my head kept me awake, again.”
Insomnia is counting the hours you’ve slept, and being so obsessed with them.
It is feeling your entire body wanting to shut off, but your mind is screaming “Oh but you can’t sleep now, I’m having so much fun tormenting you.“
—  By me

when alec slowly pulls away from magnus’ lips… it’s like this feeling of kissing him is going through his whole body? it’s like those few seconds absolutely took his breath away?

like this kiss was so much and not enough at the same time?

it wasn’t about making a statement like their first kiss
it was about conveying what he feels because he’s not good with words


I think I broke my zipper? | The Music of Harvey Beaks

In the episode “Rock Bark Rocks” Harvey attends his first rock concert and accidentally finds himself caught in a mosh pit. This short chaotic scene  reminded me of myself during my first punk shows as a teenager in Los Angeles (It was The Ramones, The Damned, and The Dickies on separate occasions at the Hollywood Palladium). There is a certain level of character building that can only come from getting kicked in the head to your favorite music– and a sense of hope that can only come from falling on your ass in a mosh pit… only to be rescued by a swarm of disembodied hands reaching down to pick you up.

I thought to myself, “Why can’t Harvey be stuck in the pit while one of my favorite punk bands is playing?” So I reached out to singer of the seminal Los Angeles punk band, The Dickies (The inimitable Leonard Graves Phillips) and asked if he wouldn’t mind singing on a 30-second song I wrote. I sent him the instrumental music and waited. A few days later I get a 5am text from Leonard with the following lyrics:

I got OCD. Don’t you pick on me.
Zipper. I think I broke my zipper.

I’m not one to argue with genius. I’ve admired Leonard since I was a kid. I told him it was perfect and a week later he was in my studio recording these very words. I just love that he sat there listening to my song and these were the lyrics that popped in his head. Life is absurd. I love how it came out and so honored to have this tiny connection to my favorite wobbly-voiced musician. Incidentally, this song is far from featured in the episode, it goes by very quickly and it’s low in the mix, but that’s why I put these videos up with the full volume mixes.

THE DICKIES formed in 1977 and are one of the greatest melodic punk bands of all time. Truly underrated, although they did have some much deserved success with the cult film “Killer Klowns from Outer space” and most recently, on the soundtrack to “KICK ASS” with their Banana Splits anthem. Enjoy!

My Smut Appreciation Day 2017 Masterlist

So I won’t necessarily have to clock up your timelines with reblogging all fics all at once, I decided to just make a masterlist so you can easily go through them all. I will reblog each one of them as timezone reblogs through days, but will do one fic per day only. So yeah.

Note: Please keep in mind that I will update this when I am awake, so obviously I can’t link any fics if I am asleep which will most likely be from 3-4-5am until 11am. Just check my blog for the fics.

Originally posted by stayclassysupernatural

Tension - Sam x Reader

Still The Same - Benny x Reader

Eager To See - John x Reader (with Voyeur!Dean)

Lazy Mornings - Dean x Reader

Mine - Castiel x Reader 

Horny and Alone - John x Reader x Benny

A random collection of very odd text messages

{feel free to change pronouns etc}

[Text] Any problem can be solved with cedar trees

[Text] What’s the easiest way to fall into the void?

[Text] a2 + b2 = my death

[Text] Some hot girl asked my name so I panicked and told her the time

[Text] I didn’t draw a cock on your wall, okay?

[Text] Why are there so many numbers in the world

[Text] Dog. Dog! Doggy? Dogs.

[Text] It’s 5am and I can’t sleep because my mind keeps repeating ‘chickens’

[Text] I fucked up. Bring ice cream

[Text] 🔪

[Text] Some guy started talking to me but I have no idea who he is so I just complimented his shoes

[Text] You know that date I was excited for?

[Text] Do you think snakes have ears? How do they hear?

[Text] Don’t touch the electric fences

[Text] I wish I could drink coffee without using my hands

[Text] ah shit

[Text] Everyone was staring at me so I had to casually shuffle out before anyone asked

[Text] I’m nowhere near drunk enough for this

anonymous asked:

I've had a really crap couple of days; my boss' boss changed her mind about my contract so I have four days to decide whether to leave or renew it *for a full year* when I wanted a short contract; my washing machine broke with all my clothes and bedding in it so I was up until 5am trying to dry everything. And failed. And just lots of small issues that all built up into a lot of stress. Not got any friends in this country either, so I'm desperately seeking happy/fluffy [anything]. Any ideas?

I’m so sorry, and I hope things look up for you soon. For the moment, how about Superhero!AU Kushina and her grouchy sidekick Kurama the fennec fox?

“This,” Kurama says judgmentally, “is going to end badly.”

Kushina rolls her eyes. “Okay, Mister Judgey-Pants, you’ve said that already. Repeatedly. If you’ve got a problem with my plan—”

“Oh no,” Kurama interrupts. “You do not get to call this a plan. This is not a plan. This is a vague outline of an idea that is going to end in tears. Probably yours.”

Kushina harrumphs, because she hasn’t cried in years and Kurama should know that better than anyone. “And your masterful plan for getting past security is so much better?” she challenges.

With a faintly sheepish huff, Kurama ducks his head, huge ears flattening to his skull. There’s a moment of indistinct grumbling, and then he says, “…Sneak in through the elevator shaft, get the Mask, and slip out through the subway tunnels?”

“I knew you’d see things my way,” Kushina tells him cheerfully, leaning over to ruffle his ears. It gets her a warbling growl in response before Kurama scrambles up unto her shoulders, flattening himself out like he’s going to avoid her affection that way. Kushina just laughs, leaning over to check the blueprints one more time. “So the plan is a go?”

“Against all of my better judgement,” the fox retorts, but he stays where he is as Kushina heads towards the windows. Konoha’s biggest museum takes up an entire sprawling city block, six stories above ground and two below, with enough security to make most thieves think twice.

Kushina isn’t most thieves, though, and there’s no way a security system and a bunch of guards are going to stop her.

She curls her fingers against the cool glass, watching the faint shift of light beyond the darkened windows that means a guard is passing, and automatically counts seconds until she sees him enter the next wing. The guards she can beat without breaking a sweat; it’s the alarms—and who they’ll call—that she’s worried about.

“Take it easy, princess,” Kurama huffs, and a wet, cold nose presses behind her ear. “Can’t have you fainting on me yet.”

He only uses that particular condescending sort of comfort when he’s trying to provoke a reaction from her, and Kushina will never tell him it’s come right back around to being comforting. Instead, she tugs on his tail, halfway between reproach and thanks, and retorts, “I’ve never fainted, you jerk! That time in the cave doesn’t count, I was tired—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Kurama says, but Kushina would have to be deaf to miss the amusement buried under the grumpiness. “So many excuses.”

Kushina makes a very pointed offended noise and tips her nose up. “At least I didn’t get distracted by some hot piece of vixen ass when we went after that crown—”

“That didn’t happen,” Kurama hisses. “We are not speaking of that, we are not thinking about that, it never happened—”

So you don’t get to point fingers, grumpy guts, or I have lists.”

“Like I don’t have one on you?” Kurama retorts, but he hunkers down on her shoulder as she spins away from the window, back in high spirits, and scoops up the blueprints, her laptop, her hat, and their travel bag. Pointedly, Kushina holds it open, and with a beleaguered sigh Kurama leaps down, burrowing his way under her jacket and pulling his tail in after him.

“You’d better not fucking jostle me,” he warns pointedly. “And don’t zip it all the away again! I like breathing.”

“Only so you can complain,” Kushina counters, but she leaves a gap in the zipper and is more or less careful as she shoulders it. Kurama doesn’t start griping, so he’s probably all right, and Kushina wastes no time sliding the blueprints back into their tube, bundling her hair underneath her hat, and heading for the elevators.

Takeru’s healthy life

The most important thing in a day is to find time to train one’s mind and body. It’s not a lot of info, but I’ll introduce you to my day.

5am: Waking up

Whenever day breaks, your senses are naturally awakened. Big bro’s not up, so I start training straight after washing my face.

Around 6am: Morning exercise

  • Jogging one round around the mountain
  • 200 crunches x 3 sets
  • 200 backlifts x 3 sets
  • 200 pushups x 3 sets

Once you get in the groove, this level is easy!

8am: Breakfast

Big Bro’s usually still asleep at this time, so I often get something proper to eat in the kitchen. If Big bro is with me, we’ll chow down at the cafeteria

10am: Housework

I suppose Big bro’s room is clean because he wishes for a easy-going life. In this case, I’ll finish this spick and span.

12pm: Walking with Big Bro

After lunch, Big bro and myself will go out for a walk and let Usamaro play around freely. It’s never boring watching him eat grass with gusto.

2pm: Jogging towards the sea

I will go for training outdoors so as not to disturb Big bro’s writing. When I go to the ocean, I’ll look for some pretty shells along the way.

That bastard Akira was there when I got up from all that annoying knocking. I accepted the innocent sweets, but turned Akira out of the house.

Around 5pm: Bath

The day’s tiredness is all washed away whenever I enter the hot bath. Big bro dozes off in the bath, so caution must be taken.

8pm: Night Exercise

  • 100 crunches x 2 sets
  • 100 backlifts x 2sets
  • 100 pushups x 2sets

This doesn’t even make me sweat. If I skip out on this, I won’t be able to wake up fresh the next morning. Once this is over, it’s time for milk!

9pm: Sleep

Big bro is often hard at work, so I’ll just go to the kitchen to grab a snack and retire for the day! Let’s put in our best tomorrow!


That’s my working week done! 6 days done! 12 hours extra built up! That’s a 49 hour week boxed off ha. Looking forward to resting tomorrow, although I’ll hit the gym I think 😂🙈. Going to get food stuff, home and chill out! Longggggg day having been up at 5am, so have some scruffy (but cute) selfies haha!

How’s your Saturday going? Up to anything fun? Drop me an ask and say hey ✌🏼🌻💕

Title: Sith Lords Don’t Sunbathe
Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader
Genre: So floof, SO FLOOF, but also a lil spicy bc i was feelin it
Warnings: Language
A/N: Just some cute but also zesty fluff for the soul. It was really nice out today and I freakin LOVE spring (it’s basically spring here now ok) so this happened lol. Happy Valentines Day! :-)

Originally posted by theworldisworthagif

Originally posted by coolfayebunny

The sun above you warmed your bare legs, giving the skin there a subtle glow. You flexed your toes and stretched, lifting your arms up above your head and letting them fall backward into the grass. It had started out soft but now you were beginning to feel the underside of your legs sweat, and you bet that if you looked, there would have been thousands of tiny, grass-shaped imprints against your skin. A breeze floated by, carrying the scent of the flowering tree above you on the wind and filling your nose. Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes, letting the air roll over your skin. While it wasn’t exactly warm, it wasn’t cold, either; it felt like the weather couldn’t make up its mind on if it was still winter or late spring. It was the perfect temperature.

Keep reading

so hannah @roseytones​ asked for a victuuri fic rec (with no bullshit) awhile ago and i have come to deliver my dear friend!!

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches - A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries. (honestly the holy grail of victuuri fanfiction i had tears streaming down my face by the end, if you havent read it what are ya doin ya doof, also i would def rec reading the sequel its told from victors point of view! Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts )

Lessons in Love - All Viktor wants is for his son to be happy - and if that means spending countless hours at the ice rink, a million more in the ballet studio, and devotedly cheering for Katsuki Yuuri at every competition he enters, then that is precisely what he’ll do.He just didn’t expect to become a fan, too.(He didn’t expect to fall in love.) (i fucking love kid aus!! this is just to cute!!)

Fanboy - “Love!!! on Ice” is sure to be the greatest Wattpad-hosted love story of Viktor’s day. At its center are Viktor’s idol, world-renowned figure skating champion Yuuri Katsuki, and the silver-haired boy whose heart he steals–Vitaly Nikulichev. Yeah. Vitaly Nikulichev. Sure. In which Viktor is 15 and writes Wattpad self-insert RPF about himself and Yuuri, and all hell breaks loose. (i found this fic at 5am i thought i was losing my damn mind it’s so hilarious otabek is a got damn superwholock for christs sake)

You can have everything… -  AU. Before the Grand Prix Final starts in Sochi, Yuuri finds Victor’s phone. He returns it–and hijinks and heavy flirtation ensue. (this is ridiculously funny and put a smile on my face so if you ever need a happy fic this is definitely one i rec!!)

What is Love? (Baby Don’t Hurt Me) Viktor Nikiforov started blatantly showing off his soulmark when he was 16, wanting his soulmate with him more than anything in the entire world. Surely being seen on TV and winning skating competition after skating competition should pull his soulmate to him rather easily. Right? Katsuki Yuuri has ignored the pain in his back since the first time he caught sight of his soulmate’s mark when he was 12. The Great Viktor Nikiforov deserved someone a little more special than a nobody like Yuuri, and until he proved himself, Yuuri was going to keep ignoring the pain, no matter how long it affects his life. (okay dont laugh at the title but THIS fic, the ANGST, the PAIN, i just want yuuri to be happy T_T)

not gold like in your dreams “Victor, you could have let some psychopath into your apartment.” “Oh come on, he’s not a psychopath,” Victor chides. Christophe makes a gesture with his hand that says ‘are you seriously this naïve or are you drunk at work again?’. “Victor, you don’t know that. You don’t know anything about him. Whose name am I going to give to the police or face I’m going to describe to the sketch artist when they find your body chopped up like Hannibal Lecter’s side dish?” – in which Victor and Yuuri are roommates and Yuuri has a secret (this is a PENELOPE au and if theres one thing i love its that damn movie so this fic got instant brownie points from me)

The Boyfriend Experience -  Katsuki Yuuri is an accomplished escort at 23, operating under the pseudonym Eros, in Detroit. When one of his favourite clients sets him up with none other than world-renowned figure skater Victor Nikiforov, the delicate balance between Yuuri’s personal and professional life teeters ever closer towards ruin. (this one is a bit more Rated E than the rest so if thats not your cup of tea i wouldnt recommend reading, but its good! and victor is so lovestruck and there’s drama so buckle up)

so thats all i can think of at the moment but ill probably read more in like 2 weeks lmao hope this helped!!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

weve-never-been-alive  asked:

Okay, I got this idea at like 5AM and it's kept me awake so it needs to be down so my mind can calm it. Was Jack one of those chubby kids that didn't get hot until after high school and that's why he's still awkward? Because he's trying to figure out how to be hot!Jack and not awkward shy fat!Jack and it's not really working. (Soz Jack. I love you.)

Jack Zimmermann was one of those chubby kids but then puberty hit him like a brick wall and then EVERYONE GOT REALLY CONFUSED. 

Jack’s dad was a professional hockey player and Jack’s mom was an actress/model. (More on this later!)  So when Jack came out of the womb and looked…well…

…awkward people were genuinely worried.

But then he got his dad’s ass and his mother’s cheekbones and the entire nation of Canada breathed a sigh of relief.

What would the RFA members + V and Saeran do for their first ever date?

I’m putting it below the cut because this post would take FOREVER to scroll down your feed. I know this HC is probably done a lot of times already, but I’m hoping those who’ll read it will enjoy!

Keep reading


you see loves a funny thing, when it just comes into your life and then leaves, I’ve never been one for fun, but with the way my lifes going oh god i’m done, I use to lay next to you at night, but now i lay here and try to fight back my tears, it’s been a few years since i’ve been happy, but maybe im just not supposed to be.

the ruins inside my mind feel like time colliding, but deep down i can feel my sanity sliding, not only have i got this crippling depression that comes and goes, but not only do i have to keep away from ropes, the hope i once had is gone, dead and gone.

i stay awake until 5am every morning because im scared to sleep, because these feelings i have run so deep and so does the pain in my chest, it’s so hard to admit but i think i may be obsessed.

I don’t mean to make everyone sad, but the way i feel at the moment is so bad. maybe i should go back into a ward and stare at the walls or cut my wrist and watch the blood pour.

I constantly think about that burning sensation from the rope around my neck,i just wish i could speak just to have a conversation.

i lack of aspiration, all i have is desperation, i just wish that i could be normal with none of this stupid over thinking that leads to heavy drinking.

(Written and submitted by @dream–bound)


Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Hello peoples! Here is my very much somewhat long ass post on the concert I attended! I apologize for such a late post of this but I’ve just been so wiped out and tired since then. 

This is written over the span of the past few days since the concert so the entire thing is a little rough and much of a blur. Beware of some nonsense and small grammar errors here and there.

I will also have a list of tips for anyone who needs it (towards the bottom)!

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To my followers...

This weekend I’m going to be with family up north. They have wifi and I’ll have my mobile and my laptop, but basically what that might mean is either 1) slow replies, or 2) a lot of mobile replies. So if you don’t mind me responding to our threads without icons sometimes, and with icons on others, like this?

Short version, though, I’m going on a semi-hiatus after tonight (we’re leaving at 5am GMT D:) but I’ll still be around for chatting and whatnot.

anonymous asked:

How are you doing Faith? You seem a bit less upbeat than usual - bit defeated and tired? I hope you're ok.

Thanks, that’s sweet of you to notice. You’re right, I am not feeling as bright as usual. A bit exhausted and overwhelmed by my life which sometimes feels a never-ending treadmill of looking after everyone, caring for my teenagers until 11pm then the baby at 1am and 3am and 5am and then trying to do everything during the day to keep the house running and the impending holiday organised and work training and appointments, as well as keep myself on track with eating and recovery and therapy.

I haven’t managed to carve out enough little periods of quiet-mind time for myself, and that along with the physical exhaustion becomes a bit of a downward spiral into lack of motivation making more things need doing, feeling more overwhelming and never ending etc etc

So yep, not feeling all the sparkle at the moment. But hopefully it will come back soon. Thanks for caring x

I stayed up until 5am every night just to talk to you and I didn’t mind it one bit because tired eyes were nothing compared to the smiles you put on my face just by simply seeing your name pop up on my screen. and I think you were meant to destroy me, slowly. because piece by piece you took me apart but it was so gradual and slow I didn’t even notice it. it started with staying up until 5am when I had to wake up at 10 the next day. and even now, I still have trouble sleeping right because I always wanna see your name on my screen. and then it was you ‘forgetting’ to respond, or you picking her over me but what do you do when you love someone and they love someone else? you wait. you wait because you know they’ll be heartbroken and you just know you have to mend it back again and so you wait. and I waited, months. and when your heart was shattered on the floor I did everything I could to sweep it up and make it new again. but you never let me close enough to give you it back, because you always wanted her and it killed me. because no matter how good I tried to be, no matter how much i changed myself it was never good enough and honestly, I don’t think it ever will be. so when you stopped talking to me I stayed up until 5am and I listened to sad songs until all that was in my head were the lyrics to 'I can’t make you love me’ instead of my thoughts that suffocated me but still, I find it hard to breathe sometimes when I think about how desperate I was for your love. but now I know, you can’t make anyone love you. not even if you shred your heart so their broken pieces can seem more full, more put together. not even if you break yourself for them, or give yourself up entirely for them because love cannot be forced when you love them with all your heart and they love someone else with all of theirs.
—  I can’t make you love me, if you don’t // ig writingmyself
My Little Baby Llama

I just thought this would be a different, kinda cool, new story. 

Prompt: Dan has a 4 years old daughter, Elizabeth, that only his family and Phil knows about. She lives with her mom, Clary, in a house next to Dan’s parents, and she grew up having Dan’s family, her mom, Dan and Phil supporting her. Lizzie is the happiness in Dan’s live, but to protect her he only sees her when he goes to his parents, and he talks to her every week on facetime. When an accident happens to Clary, and leaves her in a coma, everything that Lizzie wants is her Daddy, and Dan will do anything to make his baby girl happy again. Even if it means to take her back with him to London to live with him and Phil.

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone, just the story behind it! I hope you guys are ready for real fluff parent!Dan and Uncle!Phil

I don’t know how many parts will be there, but enjoy this one!


PART 1: The Accident 

Dan’s P.OV

“Are you coming to Brazil? “ I read out loud from the chat. “I’d love to come to Brazil one day. Its a cool country that I’ve never been to.” I answer, trying to ignore my phone calling for the third time. My mom has this thing that she always forget that my live shows are on Tuesday’s nights, and since Tuesday is the day that Lizzie leaves school earlier and stays the whole afternoon with her, she always calls me to let me talk to my baby girl.

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