so this is disastrous

anonymous asked:

We know Lance is super smart, but... Headcanon that sometimes in everyday situations (or what counts for everyday situations when you're fighting a space war) he just loses all common sense and says and does dumb things. It happens so much and it's so funny that the team starts calling these times Lance Moments. Even when someone else does a dumb thing, it is called having a Lance Moment.

dude sorry this was one of those asks i’ve been sitting on bc i just. love to think of not only lance moments. but a whole array of paladin moments.

  • lance moment: when you get too overconfident and embarrass yourself
    • origin: “wow that’s like 1000 plus 10″, and other greatest hits
    • example:
      shiro: hey guys be careful there’s a bunch of debris up ahead
      keith: whatever i can handle it [promptly crashes into space garbage]
      pidge: LMAOOO KEITH LANCED UP
  • keith moment: when you forget all social etiquette
    • origin: just when the other kids had finally acclimated him to Teenage Interactions, he tried to fistbump a diplomat and it was interpreted as an attack
    • example:
      alien host: and here is our most sacred animal
      pidge: eww
      lance: [slapping a hand over her mouth] what keith here meant to say was,
    • pidge almost has more keith moments than keith. but keith’s are always more disastrous so he holds the title.
  • pidge moment: when you completely forget that there’s something else you’re supposed to be doing
    • origin: pidge was supposed to be developing a virus or something so everyone left her alone but after a full day somebody checked on her and it turns out she got distracted and had actually been programming a game on her computer
    • example:
      coran: oh, hunk! did you finish recalibrating the teludav?
      hunk: [surrounded by books on taujeerian biology] did i what
      pidge: AHA!! IT WASN’T ME THIS TIME!!
  • hunk moment: when you get overemotional at inopportune times
    • origin: everyone pulled off an incredible maneuver in the middle of a battle and hunk started tearing up and talking about how much he loves everyone and “hunk, i love you too buddy, but maybe save this for later”
    • example:
      shiro: …and you’re such a smart and talented young lady and i’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished–
      pidge: ok ok i know hunk thank you but i really need to be hacking into this server right now
  • shiro moment: when you accidentally let something really morbid slip out
    • origin: after two sleepless nights, allura asked shiro if there was anything he needed and he replied in a monotone “the sweet embrace of death”
    • example:
      coran: it’s a fascinating creature honestly! once it has completed growing, it only has ten quintants before its body begins destroying itself.
      lance: goals
      keith: …are you ok? that was a very shiro thing to say.

bonus:

  • allura moment: when you surprise everyone with a previously unknown kickass ability
    • origin: the shapeshifting thing, and probably many others
    • example:
      pidge: [grabs a stick and knocks a bomb far into the distance]
      lance: what the heck
      pidge: what? matt and i used to play baseball all the time, i’m pretty good at it
      lance: god you’re such an allura
  • coran moment: when you pull a paladin moment, but play it off flawlessly
    • origin: anything he ever says. he’s making up half the nonsense that comes out of his mouth. nobody notices or calls him out on it.
    • example: there are none. coran is the only being known to pull off a coran moment.

Mac Watching The Stripper: A Background Event

after leaving the most prestigious military school in the country(and being the only Catboi to do so) fabian gets drafted from the age of 18-22 in a disastrous war, ends up leading his little squadron. its four yrs of hard graft, basically shreds up his naivety, also shreds up his arm, he makes some good friends but they mostly die. The End.

You’ll think that letting go of something that you’ve been holding on to for so long will be disastrous. But if that one thing pulls you beneath the earth, suffocates you, makes you vulnerable to pain then you must get out! The pain will eat you and you shall rot if you stay so it’s best letting go. Some things are beyond repair.
—  adam-philip17 
Say that again; H.S.

“So how did your date turn out the other night?” Harry appears into my side view, still buttoning up his crisp, ironed-by-me chemise as he walks to stop beside me. I turn on my heel, bumping my hip into the marble countertop as I let a humourless chuckle flow past my lips.

“Disastrous. Catastrophic. I-never-ran-so-fast-in-my-life-short.” I laugh loudly, handing Harry the utensils for his dinner in a few hours. I pull on his shirt near his shoulder to straighten it before I lightly push at Harry’s chest to get him up and going – there wasn’t much time left.

“Couldn’t be that bad,” Harry starts off but pauses ever-so-subtle, “or can it?” he disappears from my view – hopefully to his large dinner table in his living room – elevating his voice so we could continue our conversation.

“Believe me. It really can be. Not that you ever experienced a hell like that.” Again, a chuckle passes my lips while I shake my head. A friend of Harry’s had set me up on this date and the male in question wasn’t that horrible, but our mind sets were so different I don’t think that could have ever worked out. I cut the date short after a comment that resembled ‘all women belong in the kitchen’ and sent the lad on his way.

“As if girls throwing them at my feet is something that’s so thrilling. Can’t even have a proper conversation like that. They only have one thing on their mind.” Harry appears back into my view to grab a few napkins on the edge of the table, already turning on his heel again.

“Not to start anything – but uh – you sound like a woman. All men are the same kinda shit? But reversed.” I stop my motions as an amused grin crawls onto my features, dropping the dessert spoons back on the marble and discarding them all together.

“I’m offended. You’re implying that I whine. I don’t whine, I complain that I can’t get laid.” Harry’s voice is still humorous as he ducks beside me to grab the dessert spoons off of the table, bumping his hip with mine to get me out of the way. “I still need glasses.”

“Harry come on, if you wanted loose sex, you’d have it in an instant.” I ignore his comment about the glasses but turn for the cabinet either way. Harry wasn’t someone you could just approach like you’d do while out clubbing, but that didn’t mean the boy couldn’t get lucky from time to time.

“I couldn’t even fix myself a proper date? Let alone find myself a one night stand. They don’t see me like that.” Harry mopes somewhere on the premises of his loft, but nowhere in my line of sight. I visibly roll my eyes – although he obviously can’t see that – all the while a scoff leaves my lips.

“Ah come on, Styles. You’re fuckable. Don’t complain.” I discard his nonsense almost directly. Sometimes I wonder if Harry realized how attractive he even was. He could come off as strong and confident but he was just as insecure as the rest of us – maybe even more than the rest of us.

“What did you just say?” Harry’s voice lowered, his movements stilling as his whole body turned in my direction. “I – never mind.” I mumble, feeling a blush creep onto my features from Harry’s intense stare. The confidence I had once possessed around had completely drained because of his whole aura, the demanding stare accompanied by that lopsided smirk of his.

“Say it again,” Harry demanded quietly, already making his way back up to me, a smile beginning to grow on his lips.

“You’re – well. Desirable. You damn well know that H.” I groan, not quite sure why he suddenly desired a confirmation of his good looks – let alone from me. I’m not sure how long it takes for any sound to pass between us. Harry had always been someone for a dramatic pause now and then.

“I didn’t know you thought about me that way, Y/n.” Harry’s smirk continues to grow as he discards the cutlery completely, slowly trailing towards his open kitchen, where I’m still gathering other utensils needed for Harry’s family dinner.

“I didn’t say I did. I was stating a well-known fact.” I awkwardly throw back at him, trying to maintain a grin of my own as I feel the ground underneath my feet heating rapidly.

“You sure?” He toys with me, his eyes twinkling underneath the dim lighting of his kitchen. He twirls around me, collecting the glasses I had gotten out of the cabinet one by one.

“Yeah…” I trail off, wondering to myself if I was indeed sure of my words. I keep my gaze trained on the expensive crystal instead of my best mate fluttering around me as if this wasn’t a conversation we weren’t supposed to have.

“Too bad.” I still in my movements, one of my hands curled around the stem of a wine glass as I balance my whole weight on my tippy toes. I try to speed-rake my mind about what intentions could have been behind those two simple, plain words, but come up rather empty-handed. Well, I was never someone who could rapidly come up with solutions anyway.

“Too – what? Why?” I come out of my trance, landing back onto my feet as I turn around, glass dangling in my hand which Harry happily plucks from between my fingers.

“I’d – I wouldn’t mind.” He winks and within a split second my cheeks are a fire-blazing red and my eyes are as wide as they can possibly get without popping.  

I’m taking one step forward, towards Harry, but refrain from moving any further. I’m not sure if I’m reading his words as I’m supposed to, and I’m not ready to give into my urges if they are misplaced. Harry is a bit more confident than I am and closes the gap between us in just a matter of a few split seconds.

I’m pressed against the counter, my hands covering over Harry’s biceps as his own hands cup my face, keeping me in place. A little noise – what it was supposed to sound as, even I am not completely certain – leaves my lips and causes Harry to push himself even impossibly closer.

His hands wander, his lips staying locked with mine as my own mind seems to click. My hands rest on his firm biceps first, a few moments later letting them flow over his exposed arm towards his toned chest. I’m letting my fingers ghost up on his chest towards his neck when Harry’s hands cup my bum firmly, drawing a moan from my already parted lips.

“How much time do we still have?” Harry breathes against the skin of my neck. He technically forces me to open my eyes, which are immediately cast towards the clock on the far kitchen wall. “If we’re lucky, about forty-five minutes.”

“That’s all I need.” Harry chuckles as his arms snake around my body, hoisting me up into his arms. I just hope we’re not getting an unexpected visit.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! you’ve already hit your alarm clock four times this morning - that’s 20 minutes….which means it’s time to wake up - time to leave for school?! oh ship, you’ve only got 10 minutes to get ready! but don’t worry, I’m here to get you through the morning ♡ listen to me and stay calm

for real, get out of bed. now.

don’t just stay snuggled up in your blankets - actually get out of bed! there’s a ton of stuff to do and so little time to get it done~

pack your bag the night before

the last thing you want to do after waking up late is taking time out of your morning to pack your bag. just do it right before you go to sleep. that way, you’ll have everything ready to go before you even wake up.

also prepare your clothes early

i don’t know about you, but i usually plan a week of outfits on sunday. it’s usually a v loose plan like: “oh, this week it’s gonna be colder than usual, so i’m gonna keep my dark jeans here, a cardigan here, and my long sleeved shirt here”. after that, i’ll pick out what i’m going to wear the night before since it’s easier and i’m less indecisive.

be-you-tiful

if you wear makeup, keep it to a minimum/no-makeup-makeup look. that is, stick to the tried and tested sunscreen/bb cream, mascara, and lipstick/gloss/tint. if you don’t wear makeup, don’t worry about it! (neither do i keke).

know your knots

whenever i’m in a rush but want to seem put together, i opt for the classic pony tail or bun. you could also go for a topknot, side braid, the works - they’re staples - you just can’t go wrong.

eat on the go

i know it may not be ideal for some people, but eating in the car really saves a lot of time. i’m probably the only one here who actually takes her bowl of cereal into the car with her, but it’s totally doable. or, maybe just grab a cereal bar. but please, please, please, do not skip breaky!

route right

if you’re running late to an event and you’re not familiar with how to get there, use your phone (google maps is a lifesaver, fyi) and type in the destination, route the way, and then exit the app. it’ll be there in the morning, either waiting for you to begin navigation, or under the ‘recent’ locations.

go get ‘em, tiger

get out there and carpe diem! run to class if you have to! skip the elevator and take the stairs to get to your workplace faster (unless it’s on the 72th floor - in that case, the elevator’s your best bet).

good luck!  so I’ve decided to continue with the “disastrous mornings” theme since it seemed to be a big hit, so here we are~

In which Saiki comes across a charismatic little girl that somehow reminded him of a certain someone he was escaping from on his way home from school just now.

But he was sure he had never seen nor encountered this strange girl before in his life, so he was really troubled and bothered by the fact that this pink-haired kid caught up to him, grabbed his sleeve, and chanted with the most ecstatic voice full of glee a little toddler could muster,

“Daddy!”

TO BE CONTINUED (nah jk just a teaser for that idea where Saiki meets his future daughter)

Chivalry is dead (Roomate!AU)

Pairing: Steve X Reader

Summary: After a rough night, reader wakes up with the worst hangover and the news that her long time crush is planning a romantic dinner for his date.

Warnings: Reader is a crazy dickhead.

Words: 4K

A/N: This is my entry for @tatortot2701 ‘s AU Writing challenge! (I believe she has still some prompts available) I hope you like it! Tried to make it angsty but I somehow couldn’t.


Originally posted by mackievanstan

“Oh man, oh man… Not again.” You groaned as the first rays of sunlight hit your lids, your arms wrapping around the pillow as you bent it over your head. “This is the last time I’ll–” You were sure your tongue had been replaced by sandpaper.

“It won’t.” The deep and loud voice resonated right in both sides of your temples, making you moan, the soft cushion muffling the sound. “Your relationship with vodka is the longest affair you’ve ever had.” He mocked, still leaning against the door frame, his playful smirk getting wider as he saw you showing him your middle finger.

Keep reading

Uptight

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

A/N: I was listening to Gorgeous by X Ambassadors, which is a song that always puts me in a fluffy mood, and I felt inspired. 

Prompt: While you worry about school, volleyball, graduation, mythical creatures, and your entire existence, Stiles only has one thing on his mind since coming back, and that is you. 

Check out my masterlist here!

**************************************

“I mean honestly, like Lydia? Love her to death, I’d do anything for her. But if she beats me for valedictorian, I will cut her”. 

“Oh, you’re going to cut her”?

“Yes. I will seriously cut her”. 

“With what? Are you going to make a shank out of your mechanical pencil? Y/N this isn’t an episode of Orange is the New Black. You can’t just ‘cut’ people”. 

“Well fine then, I won’t cut her…. But baby, could I please borrow your baseball bat for a few days…. Just until results for valedictorian come out…”

“Y/N…. shut up”.

You could hear the joking tone in his voice, but still, Sties felt a nice elbow ram into his stomach which caused him to loosen his grip around your waist and keel over.

Keep reading

10

The Five Love Languages 

1. Words of Affirmation: Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time: In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts: Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service: Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch: This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

anonymous asked:

"You're such a bitch" chloenette for the writing prompt please if your still taking requests

Authors note: I am so excited that I have multiple Chloenette and Ladybee promts in this challenge so I can explore so many dynamics in this relationship! For this one, I had to go with humor ^_^ (For those looking for romantic Chloenette don’t worry, it’s coming) 


“Chloe, what are you doing?” Marinette asked as she stared at girl who was currently lounging in Alya’s seat. 

“I’m sitting next to my best friend of course!” She smiled, patting the desk beside her, “Cesaire can sit over there. Isn’t that right Sabrina?” she called to her usual partner in crime. 

“Of course! Whatever you think is best Chloe. I’m so excited we are getting new friends!” Sabrina grinned manically, giving Marinette an energetic wave. 

Marinette slide into her seat. “What did you tell her?” she hissed, “I thought we were clear yesterday that a secret identity needs to be kept a secret!” 

Of all the people to possibly find out about her alter ego, it had to be Chloe. 

“Of course I didn’t tell her about… you know… I just told her that you and I ran into each other at a cafe and hashed out our differences,” Chloe whispered back. “So I was thinking we should go shopping together after class.” 

“Why would you tell Sabrina that?” Marinette asked, praying that she could get this whole mess sorted out before Alya and Nino showed up. If she was lucky maybe today they would have one of their morning make out sessions and come racing in seconds before the bell. 

“Well Sabrina is my best friend, I had to tell her something! Especially since we are going to be spending so much time together now. I didn’t want her freaking out and going all… invisible again.” 

“What… time togeth… what are you talking about?” 

Chloe gave her a pitying smile, “Oh silly, you don’t have to pretend anymore. I know you have to keep up the whole lame, clumsy persona so that people don’t figure out your secret, but you don’t have to hide from me! I’m your best friend!” 

“No you’re really not.” 

“And I know you better than anyone.” 

“I seriously doubt that.” 

“and just think, now you can be yourself around someone! Because we are truly together now. It’s like destiny. Me and Ladybug, just like it was always meant to be. And you know you can even act like less of a spaz and everyone will just assume that it’s because our friendship has made you that much cooler, and no one will suspect that it’s just your true self shining through.” 

“Could this get any worse?” 

“Chloe?” a new voice interrupted. “What are you doing in Alya’s seat?” 

Apparently it could get worse, because Marinette looked up to see Adrien, looking confused, standing next to his own place in front of her. Great. 

“Oh Adrikins! Marinette and I have decided to become best friends. It’s alright if I bring her with me for our monthly movie night on Thursday right?”

“Sure, I guess…” Adrien said still looking like he was expecting to wake up any second to find the whole conversation was a dream. Or maybe Marinette was projecting.

“I was thinking we could all go shopping first,” Chloe continued obliviously, “or maybe manicures because really Marinette we should do something about your poor nails. Oh! Before I forget- selfie!” She pulled out her phone, slinging an arm around Marinette shoulder and giving the camera a brilliant grin. Marinette scowled, then flushed self consciously when she noticed Adrien staring at them both with a strange, searching expression. 

“Sorry!” Adrien said, shaking his head when he realized he had been caught staring, “deja vu… anyways I am glad you two are getting along now, it will be fun to all hang out together.” He gave them both an encouraging smile and slipped into his own seat, pulling out his phone. 

Marinette sighed, slumping down in her chair. At least something good might come out of this. It seemed that Chloe was finally going to stop trying to ruin her already disastrous attempts to spend time with Adrien.

“So where should be go for lunch?” Chloe asked. 

“Chloe, we are not going to lunch together,” Marinette said trying to channel her mother’s firm but quiet tone. “We are not best friends, and you need to go back to your seat, preferably before Alya gets here.” 

“But you’re Ladybug.” 

“Yes, but I am also Marinette. You know, the girl you picked on mercilessly for the last 5 years?” 

“I know and I forgive you for that.” 

“Chloe,” Marinette growled, “get out of that seat.” 

“God, you’re such a bitch. So anyways I was thinking seafood…” 

Since I’m away from home and my dear drawing tablet, for now, have another mommy Teruhashi spending time with her little angels