so this didn't really come out the way i wanted it too

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol
  • ok but imagine 
  • Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 
  • and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
  • and he talks about the team a LOT 
  • Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
  • (Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
  • but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend. 
  •  the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
  • Bitty is both confused and mortified

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Oh my god, in last night’s Bob’s Burgers, Bob takes Gene to a laser light rock show at the planetarium (super important to Bob, because it was his favorite when he was a teenager, and this is the last night before they’re closing the exhibit because it’s old and no one goes anymore, also it’s Bob’s birthday), and Gene has no idea what he’s in for, but he gets pumped for it anyway ‘cause Bob’s so excited about it, and finally they get in there and they’re watching it, and Gene has a sensory overload and kinda starts freaking out ‘cause he can’t handle it, so Bob takes him out and they sit in the car for a bit.  Gene’s angry because Bob didn’t tell him it would be so loud and scary, so Bob offers to play the album for Gene at a normal volume, and Gene starts to enjoy it, so he reclines the seats, takes out the cigarette lighter, tells Gene to pretend it’s a laser, and starts drawing in the air, explaining the plot to him (it’s like a full on Pink Floyd or Rush-esque rock opera about a bunch of robot overlords telling rockers that they can’t play music anymore, and one Rebel rising against them).  Gene gets really into it and decides he wants to see the finale of the laser show (which Bob regards as a life-changing experience), so they sneak back into the planetarium (there’s no re-entry allowed) with a few tricks that parallel the story from the album, and watch the climax of the show together (Bob fashions some earplugs for Gene out of a napkin).  On the way home, Bob’s asking Gene how he liked it, and Gene says “I loved it!”, Bob asks him to speak louder ‘cause his ear’s are shot, and Gene yells, “I LOVED IT, DAD”.  Bob yells back “I love you too, Gene”.

I FUCKING!!! CAN’T!!! DEAL!!!! WITH HOW GOOD THIS SHOW IS!!! I know i don’t talk about Bob’s Burgers a lot but this show is flawless and charming and gross and funny all at the same time, the characters are written like people with actual fears and anxieties, and unlike a lot of comparable shows, the comedy doesn’t come from the family being pitted against each other, it’s always the family against the world… I love it, I love it, it’s so pure and refreshing and still somehow manages to be funny without sacrificing it’s heart, and I fuckin’ love it, please watch Bob’s Burgers holy CRAP okay I’m done.

Neptune - place of your hidden potential


Neptune is a planet of illusion and confusion. It is very mysterious place in our chart. It brings people a lot of disappointment due to Neptune’s very enigmatic nature. I believe the house our Neptune is placed holds a great potential that is hidden there and takes time to fully understand. What makes you confused and vulnerable with a little bit of work can also be a source of your great strength. 

The House Neptune is shows when you are the most vulnerable. This is a place of confusion, place that you have always a problem to tell the reality from illusion. The way to master your Neptune placement is to recognize your weakness and allow yourself to be vulnerable in this area. Be aware of what brings you confusion. Awarness is your greatest weapon. This is what Neptune truly wants to tell you. Be aware.


1st House - be aware that your weakness lays in your perception of the world and yourself. You may feel lost in life, confused about how you see the world. You may not see it for what it is and people may see you not who you really are. Don’t idolize this world. Don’t idolize your views. Don’t let your artistic nature cloud your judgment. Also, don’t be afraid to be emotional. Don’t be afraid to show your sensitivity. Use amazing psychic gifts you have. Finding confidence in life may be hard for you since your perception of self is delluded but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You just have many sides to yourself and you can’t be defined with one word and that’s okay. Be a chameleon; don’t limit yourself to one. Also, your natural optimism can make you a little bit naive so you need to watch out for people because some of them will have no problem using your good heart against you so take care of yourself and trust your intuition more.

2nd House - be aware that your weakness lays in your self-worth. It is what brings you the biggest confusion. You may feel vague about your self-worth. You may feel confused about material things. You need to understand potential that lays in your soul and the practical use of your imagination. You also need to understand that material things are not the biggest evil on the world. They are also not your biggest need. It will always bring you confusion. Find balance!  Be aware of your money (abundance or their lack) in your life. Use them constructively on what you really need. If you can, make your art to give you profit.

3rd House - be aware that your weakness lays in the processing of your words. It can often feel like the words you are looking for in your mind are hidden behind a mist, like they are there but you can’t find them and use them. You can also feel at the moments that you are a better story-teller than everyone else in the room and desperately try to prove it. Don’t idolize the power of your mind but also don’t ignore it. Be aware that you can get an access to a beautiful inner encyclopedia but still you need to make an effort to check yourself while using it. Be aware of the voices you will hear, ideas you will get and be open to messages from your head but be selective of how you will use them. You can take people to other dimensions with your you words, you are highly creative but you must be aware that you need to check things twice before saying them because sometimes your words can be really confusing. Focus on making yourself more clear while speaking, avoid using unecessary words. 

4th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your roots. Family always can bring you a lot of confusion. Many times you don’t see your family for who they really are, you probably idolize them a lot just like your chilhood. You may feel truly lost at your core, not knowing who you are and being too dependent on your roots. Truth is, that yes,  you can become emotionally independent person who is also able to help others to see through their own delusions. You just need to make yourself your strong foundation and set clear boundaries with your family. Your imagination make them seem better that they really are. You need to remember that your home and people who make it are part of your life not the center. Family life will never be as perfect as you wish but it doesn’t mean it’s not going to be good. Appreciate what you can have.

5th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your vision.  You idolize everything. Romance, people, children, hobbies… Everywhere where you can express yourself and follow your vision of “something perfect”.  You just try to run from reality this way. Just be aware perfect love  or a child doesn’t exist. Express yourself artistically, yes, but don’t let your imagination cloud your judgment. Life here is not a Hollywood movie but it doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful. Use your imagination in your creations but don’t let it control your love life (and other aspects). You are extremely creative. Use it wisely.

6th House -  be aware that your weakness lays in working. You love to help others. Animals, people… Your service is needed but is also a place of your delusion. You may get lost in your job. You need to take responsibility and do your work in whatever you choose to but remember about taking care of yourself too. Also, you should pay more attention to deadlines. You can get lost so you need to remember about passing time and other details. You are really responsible and devoted, don’t overdo yourself but also try to look at yourself (especially your health) realistically. Getting a flu won’t kill you but don’t ignore it either. Keep yourself in check.

7th House -  be aware your weakness lays in your  relationships. Whether they are of romantic nature or platonic; you may appear as a very confusing person to others and others are like that to you too. You may have problem with recognizing people who have bad influnece on you, you may idolize them and you can be too dependent on others. There is always something very entangled in your partnerships and you need to recognize that and stop idolizing people in your life. You need to directly adress those issuses. There is a chance for you to see relationships with people clear, as they are. You will become more confident and more independent as a person. Just stay aware of your relationships and don’t let them define you.

8th House - your weakness is tied to taboo topics. You may become obsessed with sensitive topics like death and sex.  You may feel you lack understanding of those and  try obsessively to get information in those areas. You may feel confused and feel you are truly not living your life here on Earth because you may focus too much on matters connected to the other world. You need to be aware that  delving into dangerous matters with that kind of passion may not bring you what you want and just make you feel more lost in life. Use knowledge you gain in constructive way. Don’t hoard it, it can cause you more pain. Share it with others. Don’t idolize taboo. Focus on mundane things too. Come back from the dead, your world is here. 

9th House -  your weakness lays in your philosophy. You may feel confused about your beliefs and be easily influenced by others in this area. Whether you are more into spirituality or religion, any area involving higher realms seems to be bringing confusion to you. This also apply to higher education. You may have problem with finding out what you want to study and you can become perpetual student or reject idea of studying at all. You may have problem with describing your life philosophy and often change beliefs. You can become a fantastic teacher for yourself and others. You have great psychic abilities. Don’t let this confusion stop you from spiritual development. 

10th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your social position. You  feel confused about your position in the world you may feel lost on your life path and you may appear to others as this always indecisive person in those matters. Be aware that feeling of being lost in life happens to everyone. You need to remember about what you truly want to achieve and understand that it will take time. Don’t idolize achievement. Follow it but don’t forget about other important things in life. You will be at the top of a social ladder. You will inspire others to work hard for your goals. Just be aware that outer sucess is not the goal end in life.

11th House - your vulnerability lays in your sense of belonging. 
Confusion is tied to your need to be a part of a group. You may idolize them a lot. You may idolize society a lot and see no flaws in how it functions.  You may also do that to your friends. You need to stop looking at people through pink glasses. Remember that humanity is flawed. Be aware of that  being a human means making  mistakes. You can be a strong individual who can do a lot of good for people and society but you need to remember about the fact that society is built from individuals who just like you, are only humans. Allow them to be.

12th House - your weakness lays in your isolation. You may feel very helpess and confused, you may feel you are not safe in this world and you may try to delve into another to find your inner security. You isolate yourself from this world and it not only brings you more confusion but it is also a source of your pain. You can’t run from yourself. You are extremely gifted person. You have amazing ability to reach higher dimensions but you shouldn’t do that in order to avoid pain. Be aware of the mundane world and try to stay more connected with it. You won’t regret it. Our world is painful but you are a part of it. And people like you make it more beautiful.

In retrograde
- you may have a problem with accepting your vulnerability due to the aversion in immersing into the more spiritual side of yourself. You are a very private person and you dislike showing  vulnerability but it runs deep in you and you cannot reject this part of yourself.

The Types and Their Level of Scariness
  • <p> <b>INTJ:</b> At first they might seem worrisome because of their intense stare and nihilistic sentiments, but all it takes is one harsh critique about something important to them and they'll crumble. Their bark is infinitely worse than their bite. Will write a series of salty "blind item" blog entries about you for months. 6/10; too passive-aggressive to be truly scary.<p/><b>INFJ:</b> Hard to get to know, but when they like you, they REALLY like you and you'd better not do anything to break their trust because all of those warm, fuzzy feelings will 180 into pure end-times-level wrath. If you've ever encountered an angry INFJ, you've seen the face of the devil himself. 10/10; scary af<p/><b>ENTJ:</b> While they're capable of verbally disemboweling someone they dislike, they won't actually come after you unless they're bored and feel like starting drama for shits and giggles. Threw a punch once and didn't like it too much. Will tell you to go choke on a bag of dicks with the biggest, brightest smile on their face. 6/10; scary only in theory<p/><b>ENFJ:</b> They love you so, SO much and they want you to do your absolute BEST at EVERYTHING you EVER do like REALLY really, so when you don't meet their expectations, they will get more and more assertive about you achieving your dreams (read: their dreams) until they eventually snap and stab you to death in your sleep. 9/10; file a restraining order and you might be okay.<p/><b>INTP:</b> Too lazy to truly get mad about anything. The only really scary thing about INTPs is their complete disregard for cleanliness. You'll find Chinese takeout boxes from six months ago covered in maggots by their bed, but you won't find nary a discouraging word coming out of their mouths. Only does damage to living things in RPGs. 2/10; scary hygiene but harmless.<p/><b>INFP:</b> Is someone who spends a lot of time writing poetry, getting drunk and crying hysterically about things that happened ten years ago really that scary? I mean, they'll probably throw a whiskey glass or a vase in your general direction and curse you out for a solid ten minutes, but then they'll go right back to crying in fetal position. 4/10; just walk away, dude.<p/><b>ENTP:</b> They'll fuck with you just for the sake of having something to do that day. They'll fuck with you sometimes for no reason whatsoever. They fuck with people because it's just in their nature. Occasionally they'll take things too far and you'll wind up in the hospital but probably never in a morgue. Might send you flowers during your hospital stay. 8/10; scary neurotic<p/><b>ENFP:</b> They're either your best friend or your worst enemy and there is literally no in-between. Sometimes they'll get mad at you for reasons you don't even understand. Rarely ever will they try to physically harm you, though. They'll just whine about "fake people" in their DeviantART journal and mope about for a long time before randomly deciding you're their friend again. 4/10; Super confusing but not scary.<p/><b>ISTJ:</b> The embodiment of "walk softly and carry a big stick". Will sit outside of your bedroom window for days with a shotgun, ready for you to make a wrong move so they can blow you to smithereens. Don't try calling the police, because they're probably a police officer or at least connected to one in some way. In other words, you're fucked. 10/10; lawful evil personified.<p/><b>ISFJ:</b> They love you with all their hearts but they also hate the things you do, ie "love the sin, hate the sinner". Usually harmless, but some of them quickly lose their shit when double-crossed. Might mix poison in your sweet tea and then bury you underneath a bed of roses in the backyard. Prays for your certainly-damned soul every night before supper. 7/10, only scary when provoked.<p/><b>ESTJ:</b> Their big mouths and intense, confrontational attitudes can put the fear of God into you, but for an ESTJ to truly be scary, they'd have to physically harm you and they don't want to jeopardize their careers over something that foolish. Will judge you hardcore from afar but that's about it. 5/10; talks shit but you won't get hit.<p/><b>ESFJ:</b> They're the undisputed champions of guilt-trips, and they'll guilt-trip you over things so incessantly that you might suffer a loss of self-worth in the process, which could lead to severe depression and no will to live. Will attend your post-suicide funeral in a really expensive dress and tell mourners how you could have "really been something". 6/10; scary shady<p/><b>ISTP:</b> No chill towards people they dislike. They will straight-up brutalize your ass in one-on-one combat and you will lose. Will put you in the hospital, wait until you've been released, and THEN put you in a morgue. Probably will laugh about killing you over cold ones with the boys for decades to come. 10/10; cold-blooded killers.<p/><b>ISFP:</b> There is no such thing as a scary ISFP. They might get hurt with you but they just let that shit go after a while. More likely to channel their negative feelings into an artistic outlet than something destructive. No time for pettiness or holding grudges. 0/10; anti-scary saviors<p/><b>ESTP:</b> Also has no chill towards people they dislike, but their hair-brained schemes at revenge are often poorly executed. Will threaten to "beat your ass" for months but won't actually do it unless they're drunk or high. Once they do get physically aggressive towards you though, you are deader than dead. 7/10; flee town before things escalate.<p/><b>ESFP:</b> Often incorrigibly shallow, they'll start rumors to sully the reputation of their enemies before they'd actually consider getting their hands dirty. Rarely ever starts fights but they sure do love jumping into other peoples' fights and finishing them. Will get one of their besties to film the entire beat-down and put it on Snapchat. Hair and makeup somehow stays flawless the entire time. 3/10; more petty than scary.<p/></p>
Free The Animal

Word Count: 6k

Genre: Smut, Angst (will I ever stop being emo?)

Author’s Note: You ever forget that you’re a fanfic writer then you write a fic so bad you remember how much of a hack you are? Yeah welcome to my fic :’D

dom!jungkook- fuckboi!jungkook- fuckbuddy relationship- dirty talk- thigh riding mention because damn even I am not immune to his thighs- inspired by Sia’s song and part of the song drabble game. You can find links to the rest of them on my masterlist

Loving You To Death (Sequel)

There he was with his hands up some girl’s skirt, grinding on her like he was trying to fuck her through their clothes, the fucking pig. You huff and turn to your friend who gives you an exasperated look, “___, just go and grab him by the dick and tell him he can’t fucking do that.”

“He can do whatever the fuck he wants to do, even if that is a bleach blonde bitch with a tan that makes her look like an Oompa Loompa.” That was pretty low, you admit. It wasn’t the girl’s fault that Jungkook had chosen her for the night. But seriously, there was a limit to tanning, this was just harmful to the eyes.

“No, he can’t because you’re together.” Your friend, Hwasa, sounds pretty fed up with you.

“No, we’re not. We’re just fuck buddies and we agreed that we’re not exclusive right from the start.” Why wasn’t she understanding this? You’d explained it to her a thousand times.

“I don’t care what bullshit you told each other. All I care about is what I see, and that is two idiots constantly doing all they can to piss each other off because they can’t communicate like adults.”

“What are you even talking about? Jungkook is not trying to piss me off. He’s just being himself. Which is admittedly annoying in and of itself but you know…”

“Then why did he do nothing the past three days but play video games while you were off galavanting with Jin, only to start making out with some girl the minute you make an appearance?”

“He did?” You asked surprised, only to check yourself back and shrug it off. “I don’t know, he must have just not felt like it.”

“Oh my god, save me from these two idiots.” Hwasa cries then takes you by the shoulder and starts shaking you, “He’s fucking jealous because you took Jin to meet your family and not him so he’s trying to piss you off. Why? Because he likes you. And you’re pissed off. Why? Because you like him. Now can you get that through your thick skull or do I have to beat it into you?”

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blue orchids

hanahaki & soulmate au (reposted)

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: angst and a sprinkle of fluff
word count: 18.748
warnings: implied smut
disclaimer: I do not own the hanahaki disease concept.

I am immensely thankful for the talented people who have created art / edits for this story: x, x, x, x, x, x ♡ also, make sure to read moonlight (drabble from jimin’s pov) and home after rain (short sequel) after reading this story. enjoy!


You were eighteen years old when Jimin’s name showed up on your hand.

The day is fresh and clear in your memory: early December, the winds stronger than ever as they threatened to pierce through the windows of your room, hints of snowflake dancing in the air as the first snowfall augured an even sharper winter. There was a smile on your face that didn’t match the unrelenting coldness of the month, and even though the night was falling and the air felt icy on the tips of your fingers, there was only warmth in your chest as you went through the pictures of your phone.

Pictures of you and Jimin drinking hot chocolate, of clumsy iceskating, of funny faces that made you laugh out loud in the quietness of your bedroom. The feeling sparking in your chest could be considered somewhat dangerous— after all, you were just a girl that didn’t have any marks on her skin, a girl whose fate was yet to be decided. Something as enigmatic as love could be a treacherous thing, too risky for someone that couldn’t decide their destiny on their own.

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Note: this is a continuation of a post // extremely long

101 reasons why Jikook/Kookmin is my ultimate OTP
or 101 times Jikook made my heart flutter (Part 2)

PART 1

51) A jikook compilation wouldn’t be a compilation without THE back hugs.

Hands on waist…

Chin on shoulder…

52) Not long after Jimin tweeted a pic of ramen, Jungkook indirectly replied to him by posting FOUR selcas of him along with a message telling him his ramen looked bland. idk about you but i found this interaction cute.

53) The artistic couple.The muscle pig and manggaetteok drawings that were featured in Snow App. They even drew the chicken drawings on the menu at Isac. I can imagine them sitting and drawing random things together. ㅠㅠ 

54) Jimin posted not one but three videos on Jungkook’s birthday, which means he wished Jungkook three times on SNS and made my head spin thrice.

55) Jimin and Jungkook took photos of each other sleeping.

56) When Jungkook thought there was no camera around when they were rounding the corner so he went up to Jimin and slid his hand around his waist. Little did he know they got caught on camera. I’d like to thank Yoongi’s vj for this awesome footage.

57) The many times Jimin has summoned Jungkook for Armys. In simpler words, Jungkook always tweets something after Jimin, and we all know how seldom he appears on Twitter.

58) “hyung has cute toes” Okay but like who lingers around his friend’s photo shoot and randomly blurts out that he has cute..toes????

59) The look! Jungkook’s expression when he’s feeding Jimin earns him a spot on this list haha. Tbh They’re kinda like eyefucking eo when jimin’s being fed. look at Jimin’s eyes. Apart from that I like how Jungkook fed him.

60) Their interactions the whole ISAC. Masterlist 👣

61)  How can I miss this? Jikook in Japan..this one has a special place in my heart. Back in 2016, it had been just a casual discussion between me and my friends on kakao. Never thought jikook would continue displaying PDA every single time they go to Japan. What’s more when they have very strict no-camera policy during concerts.

62) The amount of heart eyes they shoot at each other.

63) When they had a dinner date in the dorm to promote Mala Hot Chicken. What baffled me was that Jungkook mentioned beforehand he wanted to sleep but he still accompanied Jimin. I’m soft.

64) Jimin has made it very apparent, truly obvious that he likes jungkook. Whether it’s liking him as a dongsaeng, or just someone he’s extremely comfortable with, Jimin always, without failing, reminds us who he dotes on. “Why do I like you so much?” Lately, I’ve been crazy because I like Jungkook so much. I think of this as a start of something beautiful, and I am so glad Jimin didn’t even hesitate in expressing his feelings towards the maknae. I think this might have helped jungkook unwind. Look at jungkook now. That’s some character development right there :)

65) Massage. Quoted line from AHL mentor, Tony Jones “They are very touchy feely and to them, it’s nothing. I’d walk into the room and Suga’s massaging V’s neck or Jimin’s giving Jungkook an intimate back massage..”

66) When Jungkook bent down so he would get closer to Jimin and put the rein-kook headband on Jimin’s head. They’re separated a lot of times during fansigns but somehow they managed to get tgt at the end.

67) When Jungkook blows a kiss, then turns to Jimin whose lips are puckered and does the same to him, using the same fingers he used earlier. Okay I’ve been meaning to say this. Realistically speaking, if you pucker your lips and you put your fingers on them, wouldn’t your saliva stick to your fingers? I’m not trying to imply anything here, just genuinely asking haha.
140529 Ameba Studio

68) When a webtoon artist gave Jimin two dolls, but Jimin decided to give one to Jungkook. She even posted a webtoon of them. To be honest who wouldn’t?

69) *screams to the people in the back* ALL-NIGHTER FRIENDS!!! As written by the man himself, “ALL the time, it’s just the two of us doing something at night. I don’t know what we do”

70) Jungkook scribbling hearts all over Jimin’s birthday drawing. He’s one whipped man.

71) Just other instances Jungkook and Jimin flirting on stage. 

//gif above isn’t mine//

72) When Jimin and Jungkook chose each other when asked “if you were a girl, who would you date?”

73) The shocking fact that Jungkook demanded an apartment from Jimin as a graduation gift. Like, apartment? of all things? What kind of domesticity is this?

74) The way Jungkook takes care of Jimin even though he’s the younger one, and how Jimin is there when he’s the one seeking comfort.

75) I will never forget the Gayo Back hug, ever. I’ve mentioned back hug somewhere above, but this is different.This deserves a point of its own.

76) When Jimin took off one of his rings at the airport and gave it to jungkook.

77) When Jungkook stopped in front of Jimin during his part in For You at Osaka concert, and kind of directed the lyrics for Jimin. Jimin just couldn’t stop smiling afterward :(((
The lyrics are:
It smells like you
The road that I walk on
I plug my earphone to my status
My true feelings lie beyond there

78) When Jimin and Jungkook steered away from the bunch and instead opted for some alone on the cruise. people say you smile the brightest when you’re with someone you love, yes?

79) The fact that Jimin wanted to become napa cabbage after seeing Kook dressed up as a bunny, so he could eat him, albeit choosing to be cheese initially. What even is that statement lol 👣 

80) The morph of their dynamic. I kind of miss their old moments, when Jimin was bolder, more carefree, and Jungkook seemed to be too shy to reciprocate. (on camera). Now they have matured. They have grown up well. A wave of nostalgia sweeps over me. The transition of their relationship is extremely beautiful.

81) When Jimin became Jungkook’s makeup artist for a day, hovering around the set, even drawing a pic of a bird that’s used as a prop later.

82) their size difference might be exaggerated at times, but you really can’t deny that it is cute, even if it’s not much.

83) When Jungkook changed the lyrics in Spring Day to Jimin.                      
Like a small piece // Of Jimin // That floats in the air 

84) When Jungkook showed to the world what a sweet boyfriend he is,making jimin laugh, sitting him on his lap, hugging him on his birthday. Sweet sweet jungkookie.

85) Let’s state the obvious- 21CG choreos!!! i love how they evolved, just like their remarkable, legendary nmd lift.

86) Their sensual dance covers.

87) When Jungkook guides and encourages Jimin during games/missions.

88) The many times Jimin has been spotted wearing Jungkook’s clothes, despite the well-known fact that Jungkook doesn’t share clothes. Newsflash: Jungkook wears Jimin’s too!

89) We know Jungkook knows Jimin like the back of his hand, but that doesn’t mean that Jimin knows any less. I think they spend time together way too much.👣

90) How often the word “JIMIN” trips off Jungkook’s tongue- this what fascinates me the most. At one time he even mistook Jin for Jimin.

91) Jimin’s eagerness to kiss Jungkook for his Coming of Age, being the first one to hold out a hand for a game of Rock Paper Scissors. Bon Voyage season 1

92) When Jimin waited over an hour for Kook to finish filming BTS Flower Boy mini drama, even though he’d finished his part. Jimin couldn’t even stay mad at him for not telling, like how fond is he?


93) The fact that Jungkook is more than comfortable speaking in banmal with Jimin.He once said in Idol Party that he prefers talking in jeondaetmal (polite language) with his hyungs but look at the amount of times he’s dropped the honorific and called Jimin by his name. uhm, let’s talk about treating the other as equals?

94) Jimin and Jungkook, the human embodiment of Piske Usagi.

95) When Jungkook’s bro drew Jungkook as Muzi and Jimin as Con, the inseparable duo on Kakao. Bro knows. 👣

96) In Kkul FM 2016, When Jungkook and Jimin nearly intertwined their fingers . Scoffs bh seemed to think it’s okay to abruptly cut off their scene. What intrigues me most is that they weren’t even looking but their hands still somehow managed to find their way around. Also other instances they hold hands. I love how Jungkook’s slightly bigger hands envelop Jimin’s smaller ones. *Jimin’s pinky tho!*

97) How they’re destined to meet. The fact that they’re both from Busan, have matching moles, Jungkook’s bro named Junghyun and Jimin’s bro named Jihyun..imagine what would’ve happened had Jimin not been the last one to enter Bangtan.

98) When Jimin said he’d be looking at the ocean with Jungkook but Jungkook straight up rejected him and chose to go on a trip with his bro instead. It was quite a strong statement but a moment later Jungkook proved it wrong by reaching out and squeezing Jimin’s hand underneath the table, kinda like a reassurance that it’s all part of a joke. He cares. He truly does.

99) During Jin’s birthday prank at MAMA, these two couldn’t keep their hands off each other. The moment they entered the bathroom, they almost shut everything out-talking to themselves, picking on the cake- until the members gave them the signal to stop w/e they’re doing. Months later Mama kindly revealed another footage, this time consisting of just them, in the bathroom, jungkook right in the middle of buttoning up his jacket, wearing nothing underneath. How was I supposed to sit still?

100) When Jungkook and Jimin take skinship to a whole new level, or simply put, the times Jikook makes us question the real intention behind their acts and excessive skinship.

101) Last but not least, Perhaps my all time favorite moment- When Jungkook was caught observing Jimin’s every move, literally had his eyes only on him.

(Mark 1:17 onward)

I super love this video bc the song chosen matched so well with the situation- like they wanted to reach out but couldn’t so they stayed put, could only observe the other from far…

and that’s it!
thank you, you made it to the bottom of this post! In short, everything about jikook makes me feel content. I had thought of doing more  but despite my brain literally screaming at me “Include this! You forgot this!”, I had to stick to 101. Anyway, I hope this mends your longing hearts. Have a lovely day! Thank you for reading!

Bonus because I have to:

when the members revealed on BTS KKul FM 2017 that Jungkook bought a birthday present only for Jimin. Am I your favorite hyung?

When Jungkook, the youngest in the group, called Jimin who is 2 years older than him a baby. 애기야가자 !

Does anyone ever think about the fact that after everything with Kate, maybe Derek goes to New York with the decision to never to be hurt that way by anyone again. Not the losing his family part, because how could he ever lose so much again, right? (Right? I’m not crying at all!) So he gets a part-time job as a grocery bagger or something, because he is young and most places won’t hire him halfway through the year. And he works after school to bring in a few bucks so that Laura’s eyes won’t be quite so pinched now that she has gotten her GED and began working to make ends meet for them in a very expensive city. After work, she then spends sometimes hours on the phone and emailing lawyers who are still trying to get all of the paperwork straight. So yeah, Derek  works to help Laura.

But then some lady at the store gives him that look. Like Kate. Her eyes are interested, and her grin is predatory, and he just knows she wants him. So he thinks to himself if he initiates it, maybe it won’t leave him feeling so wrong. So he does. And it becomes a thing. He flirts with anyone who shows him interest as he bags their groceries and “helps them to their car” even though they never need help.

From there maybe it just becomes a way of survival. As he gets older, it seems like more women want to sleep with him. He’s filling out, thanks to all of the runs he’s going on after work and thanks to the workouts he’s pushing his body through every morning. Because he has to be strong enough. He has to be bigger. He doesn’t want anyone to think they can hold him down or force him.

He learns how to play the game. One day he mentions something about that to a coworker (now working at a bar mixing drinks because someone had once told him he would make great money in tips) but his coworker didn’t think of sex as a game. Derek knew better. Maybe it wasn’t for some people, but he would never be able to trust someone in that way again, so he had to strike first before an opponent could.

One day a man at the bar looks at him just right, and Derek just thinks Oh. He’s never focused on men before, but he’s noticed them in passing. So he goes to the guy’s apartment after his shift and they sleep together. Derek pretends he’s done this before, even though he’s mostly relying on his sense of smell and hearing to tell if the guy is into different things he tries. And after that, Derek flirts with anyone he feels he has to.

So fast forward to Stiles. Stiles who is home from college after his second year has finished to make room for summer break. Stiles who means so much and is so good even when he’s an asshole. Stiles who leans in one day after a pack dinner, when he and Derek have finished cleaning up after everyone else has gone home. Stiles kisses him gently, at first, almost hesitantly. But when Derek doesn’t push him away, he presses in more firmly and suddenly Derek realizes where this is going to go. And it kind of makes him sad.

He lets Stiles slip his shirt off and push him back onto his bed. Stiles crawls on top of him and Derek begins pulling their hips together in a slow and sinuous way. But Stiles doesn’t react like any man Derek’s been with before–which really shouldn’t be as much of a surprise as it is. Yes, Stiles lets out a little moan, but it doesn’t break Stiles away from Derek’s mouth, where his tongue is doing things to Derek that he can’t explain. And his hands after trapping Derek’s face, but not like he’s trying to contain Derek, more like he’s holding something precious. His thumbs keep swiping across Derek’s eyebrows, like he’s memorizing their shape.

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How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*
An observation of Markiplier TV

Emphasis on the observation part because I’ve never really been good with theories. I have a number of things to do today but unfortunately, I watched this video and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Hopefully this’ll quiet my mind and let me function, and who knows? Maybe it’ll help someone out there with their own theories too. :)

So, let’s talk about this scene:

We got one hell of a group here BUT what I’d like to focus on is their seating arrangement and what that could mean, because if there’s anything I’ve learned in videos like this it’s that EVERYTHING is by design. This entire table scene (props to the Editor btw) has so much hidden psychological subtext in it, so while I’m no professional I’ll still do my best to uncover them all.

First off, let’s look at the table: Rectangular with two long ends and two short ones. Pretty normal setting yeah, but is it beneficial to their situation (i.e. finding a way to ‘take control’) where everyone easily agrees? Nope. Because tables like these embody competition and a clear sense of authority, and I love this detail. It means that while they could’ve easily gone for a round table to promote cooperation, they go for this because of course, no one’s going to cooperate that easily.

This setting, however, works better in the business cooperative world, because you got two people (Darkiplier & Wilford) who can control the meeting from both ends of the table and are essentially the people everyone will need to look up to.

Here’s a great detail though: In this kind of setting, the more powerful of the two is usually the one opposite the entrance to the room. This allows him not just a vantage point of whoever comes in and goes, but complete control as well. And as we see where King of the Squirrels pops up:

Originally posted by antisepticjack

Which we can easily tell was from the right of the room based on the direction his body and eyes shift to, we can point out where the entrance is and who was right there:

But yeah, in this moment it didn’t seem like Will had control over King’s sudden entrance but let’s face it: he doesn’t care. He already knows that there’s more than one king in that room.

Speaking of, let’s move on to the seating arrangement.

Obviously we got Dark and Will at the ends as the higher ups, but I’d like to talk about Googleplier and The Host.

In medieval times, kings would often have their advisors right at their side at the table. This actually explains the term “right hand man”, because the king would have them close at hand to help him rule, unless of course, he was left-handed. Looking back at Dark’s antics, I have reason to believe that he’s either left-handed or ambidextrous.

Originally posted by http-darkiplier-403forbidden

Which I guess would make sense, considering that while Ed, Bim, Silver and Dr. Iplier were all concerned about their parts in the video, only Google and The Host were able to keep a level head and not lose sight of their main goal/situation.

Now the last thing I want to talk about is Wilford’s idea for Markiplier TV. I must warn you though because this is going to be a bit of a stretch so stop reading if you’d like BUT… I think he may have been inspired by Anti.

AGAIN, please bear with me. Jack’s mentioned before that Dark and Anti ever meeting each other was very unlikely, which in Dark’s case (being the alter ego that’s been pushed inside the most) could be more than true. However, Wilford makes up for this as he’s the only one not bound by the laws of physics and is, potentially, omnipresent. So it’s possible that he’s aware of Anti (since he was aware of Septiplier after all) and his methods (i.e. using social media to have his fans notice him which then gives him control) BUT, being Wilford, he goes about it in his own roundabout way which is, of course, TELEVISION.

So, yeah, this is all I can come up with. Excluding my attempt in theorizing at the very end I hope this was helpful. Now I’m just hoping that my thoughts on Antisepticeye don’t get too hectic and end up like this long wall of text. Thanks for reading. :)

bunnylexicon  asked:

*whispers* okay but Imagine Taako doing a show in Ravens Roost around the same time Kalen does the thing and Julia and Steven live because Taako accidentally turns the bombs into fucking powdered Sugar. Taakos just wondering why the fuck the sugar didn't appear and Kalen gets found out because the detonators still went off, causing minor damage.

Taako waves his arm, and there’s no fucking powdered sugar.

And, fuck, okay. Okay. He worried this would happen, though of course he hadn’t said anything to Sazed because he could already picture the look that would get him. But he worried that this transmutation stuff was coming too easy to him. Nothing came easy to him, he’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop, and now here it is. He’s standing on his stagecoach with a batch of fresh beignets and no powdered sugar like some kind of idiot.

Taako is a fucking professional, and he plays that shit off for laughs. Makes a frustrated face, wiggles his arm a bit, nothing. Hits his wrist with his other arm as if he’s trying to get the last bit of something out of a bottle. The audience laughs, and he prepares himself for another spell… and before he can cast it, there’s a rumble and a shudder.

There are several panicked moments where he and his audience both think the spire they’re on is about to come down, and then there are townspeople hauling men up the spire, and wouldn’t you know it - they’re fucking covered in powdered sugar.

“So that’s where it went,” Taako mutters, and he must have said it louder than he meant to because the crowd is howling.

He’s asked to a meeting in the tavern and he’s promised free drinks as an incentive, so fuck it, he goes. There’s a big muscled guy named Magnus there, along with his wife Julia who looks equally qualified to benchpress Taako a few times over, and both of them are smiling at him like he’s their new best friend. 

It’s… nice, Taako guesses. He’s not exactly sure how he feels about the way they greet him, offer him a seat at their table, shove a tankard towards him - he’s used to admiration, but this isn’t quite that. There’s something a little more to this, and it makes him uncomfortable; he doesn’t know what to do with it.

He saved the town with his misfired spell, apparently, and Taako finally understands the couple’s good mood. This arrangement is more comfortable; next they’ll be asking if he can stay, if he can provide any protection spells for future attacks, and about how managed to anticipate this one. They’ll offer a price and Taako will have to decline. Eventually these people will get the picture; once they know that they’re not going to get what they want from him, that cheerfulness is going dry right up and Taako will finish his drink alone. Interactions are so much easier after all of the cards are on the table.

Taako decides that he doesn’t feel like dealing with that scenario tonight, and tells the two of them straight-up: sorry, this was completely an accident and there will be no repeat performances if he has anything to say about it.

They don’t care. They laugh, and they ask him about his show. They ask him what life is like on the road, and they tell him stories about Raven’s Roost. The three of them are in that tavern, sitting at that table, for most of the night. Taako’s not sure when he starts to feel comfortable. There’s something familiar about Magnus, and Julia is easy to like. It’s surreal, and it’s… a relief, like he’s found something he didn’t know he was looking for.

The two of them insist on sending him letters. He gives them a vague outline of his route and, sure enough, there are letters waiting for him at each new town. Eventually he writes back. Eventually it’s a thing that he does, sending letters to Raven’s Roost and then expecting an answer. He’s never disappointed, and that… scares him.

And then his magic has gone wrong again, and he doesn’t know what to do. He thinks about Raven’s Roost but… they wouldn’t want him now, not when he’s killed almost an entire town. Magnus and Julia saved theirs. What would they think of him. He’d rather not know.

Magnus finds him three weeks later. He started looking after the letters dried up, he explained. He and Julia were worried. They heard about Glamour Springs.

There’s a place in Raven’s Roost for Taako, if Taako wants it. It’s not much, mostly just an extra room, but the two of them thought it might be nice for Taako to have a place to stay if he ever came to visit. He’s welcome to stay there now; he’s welcome to stay as long as he likes. Taako still isn’t sure that he can trust this - but he wants to, so he goes.

paint heaven and anger the gods

so the trailer for miss hokusai advertised one type of movie, and then the actual movie was …. something else entirely. but the trailer gave me ideas, so here they are:

there is girl –

no.

there is woman –

no.

there is a young woman, an old girl, and she has the eyes of youth but the weight upon her shoulders is that of age. or perhaps it is the other way around. perhaps she has the eyes of age, but upon her shoulder is the weightlessness of youth, of ignorance.

there she is, whatever she is.

her name is kana.

she is the daughter of a famous painter, known as juro. he is a man larger than life, and he paints wonderful things. he takes what is ugly, and makes it beautiful. he paints an unhandsome woman as a goddess, a sneering merchant as a king, a dirty city as a glowing capitol. he leaves all he touches brighter than it was found.

kana is not like her father.

she is a painter, but she is not famous. she has a mother she doesn’t speak to, and younger sister she visits as much as she can. she has pushed them both aside to follow her father, to sit with him in dirty shacks putting ink to paper as she does her best to make beautiful things. she throws off the expectations of her gender, of her station, of anything and everything in her pursuit to be a master painter.

technique is easy. she completes half of her father’s painting while he drinks, while he whores, while he seduces lords and ladies, while he paints empty things for empty people, while he leaves her alone in their dirty shacks. she can do the detail work, has a steady hand and a sharp eye, but when it comes to the whole picture – it is left lacking.

“her work lacks your beauty,” an old man says, talking to her old father while she kneels in the corner, ink staining her hands, the floor, ink just – staining.

“of course it does,” her father says, offhand. “how can she paint what she does not know?”

kana never expected lack of knowledge to be her downfall.

so that night when her father is gone, she does not stay in to work. instead kana paints her face, wears a kimono that’s too small on her, and goes to the worst part of the city, to where the alleyways and walls are stained red by the glow of the lanterns.

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anonymous asked:

[whispers] soulmate au where you can steven universe style fuse with your soulmate(s)

*star eyes* Oh my gosh I love this idea!

So.

  • Everyone is born with a gem/precious stone (or sometimes a metal or mineral that wouldn’t normally be considered a gemstone) somewhere on their body. This isn’t a full-on gemsona situation, but gemstones as this AU’s soulmark equivalent.
  • There’s a hereditary component to what gem you get, but it’s not simple inheritance. (i.e. You have a higher probability of having the same gem as one of your parents, and some family lines run relatively pure, but it’s also common to share a gem with a more distant relative, or to have something your family hasn’t seen in recent generations)
  • Gems come in “families,” so even if a certain bloodline runs pure, there’s still going to be a little variation. For example, the beryl family–beryl, emerald, aquamarine, heliodor, ect–are very closely related. Hunk’s family tends toward beryl gems.
  • On that topic:
  • Hunk has a heliodor (a stone associate with warmth and sunshine) on his chest [example of a heliodor]
  • Pidge has a malachite (associated with nature and supposedly good at preventing sensory overload) at the nape of her neck [example of malachite]
  • Matt has a goethite (associated with grief and raw emotion, often found with malachite deposits) on the inside of his wrist [example of goethite]
  • Shiro has a black opal (associated with karma and the cosmos, and often thought to bring misfortune despite also being regarded as a healing stone; the black variant is notable for the stark contrast with the blues, greens, reds, and yellows contained within) at his collarbone [example of a black opal]
  • Lance has a turquoise (associated with luck and ambition, but also unity and leadership, and said to confer protection if given to you by a friend) on the back of his left hand [example of turquoise]
  • Keith has a vein of luxite (the metal in his mother’s blade, and not something anyone on Earth recognizes) across his right palm. He wears his gloves in part to hide it.
  • Theoretically, anyone can fuse with anyone else, but the vast majority of fusions are unstable. There’s no way to tell who can form a stable fusion with whom until it happens
  • The official definition of “soulmate” is “a pair or grouping that can remain fused indefinitely.” Since it’s obviously impossible to prove that you can stay fused forever, and since most unstable fusions fall apart quickly, the cutoff is often set at five minutes. Any people who can stay fused longer than that are considered soulmates (if they choose to label themselves that way.)
  • There’s also no way to tell from gems or from the fusion itself if the bond is romantic or platonic. You’d have to ask the people involved.
  • That doesn’t stop people from coming up with a millions theories anyway. (”Romantic partners always have the same gem!” “Romantic partners NEVER have the same gem!” “Platonic partners will always have gems in the same family!” “There are romantic sets–but good luck reaching an agreement on what the sets are.”)
  • Fusions look just like regular people with a few exceptions: they’ll have 2+ gems, but depending on placement you might not be able to tell; their eyes will usually be banded the colors of members of the fusion, but you have to look closely to notice; and there will sometimes be additional markings in the colors of the gems, often forming a trail connecting the two gems.
  • Other than those minor physical differences, fusions are also notably different if you look at brain scans. They don’t generally maintain two (or more) separate consciousnesses, but they retain the knowledge, memories, and capabilities of the people involved, and they tend to have much higher levels of brain activity on any given task. Fusions who are familiar with their fused state tend to be more dexterous, have better reflexes, and be physically stronger than their unfused counterparts, and they tend to solve problems more quickly and more efficiently.

The rest of this (i.e. the Voltron ‘verse story) is going under a cut because this is already long.

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Why doesnt SOMEONE do something aobut ALL THESE FUCKING BOTS ON social MEDIA ???????????????
  • Co-Worker: *internally* The new guy is so cool. Well, I guess he's not the new guy anymore because he has been working here for months now, but he's still great. I look up to him so much. He's funny, and outgoing. He even gave me a cute nickname. He never recognizes my affection for him, but I think today is the day. Today is the day he'll realize how cool and cute I am.
  • Co-Worker: H-Hi!
  • New Guy: Hey, braids.
  • Co-Worker: Do you like music?
  • New Guy: Yeah, I mean everyone likes music. Kinda weird if you don't. You're friends with that rep, right?
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: You know, the mopey one. Dark hair. Does she like me?
  • Co-Worker: Everyone likes you. I like you.
  • New Guy: Yeah, but that rep. That rep doesn't talk to me.
  • Co-Worker: I'm sure she likes you. You're so cool and kind and... uh, Britney Spears followed me on twitter!
  • New Guy: Whoa, what!? Britney Spears!? You're fucking joking!
  • Co-Worker: I'm serious. I guess, I'm really cool now. Hahahahahahahaha.
  • New Guy: Lemme see.
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: Lemme see your phone. I wanna see Britney following you. Can you like DM her?
  • Co-Worker: You're not allowed to take your phone out at work.
  • New Guy: Come on, no one cares.
  • Co-Worker: Uh, here you go, I guess. *hands new guy her phone*
  • New Guy: *checks twitter* ...This is a bot.
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: It's not the real Britney Spears, this is very obviously a bot.
  • Co-Worker: No, it's totally her. How can you even tell?
  • New Guy: First off, she only has two followers. One of which is you and the other is another Britney Spears bot. Secondly, her twitter name is Brittany Spear. Third, all of her posts are about discount fishing rods.
  • Co-Worker: Oh... I guess I didn't notice.
  • New Guy: You're fucking with me aren't you?
  • Co-Worker: *sweats* Sure, yeah.
  • New Guy: *laughs* I love you, braids. You're funny as shit.
  • Co-Worker: You love me!?
  • New Guy: Yeah, as a minor work acquaintance. Hey, if you talk to that rep later on, tell her to hit me up some time.
  • Co-Worker: Sure... yeah.
  • *later*
  • Co-Worker: *checking phone* It can't be a bot. It's definitely not a bot. Why would a Britney Spears bot follow me. I'm not even interested in fishing. It has to be the real Britney. *DMs the bot* Hey, hello Britney.
  • Brittany Spear: hi what're up :)
  • Co-Worker: Britney, I knew you were real!
  • Brittany Spear: lol hey ! :) :P
  • Co-Worker: Britney, you have to prove to this guy at my job that you're real. He's so cute and I love him so much and I want him to notice me.
  • Brittany Spear: wow hey did you kno that u can decrease you're morrtgrage rate by up to 20% check it out at www.extra.savings.ca/riwuWqoaQ/ref/100200
  • Co-Worker: Britney, this is serious.
  • Brittany Spear: Hi :)
  • Co-Worker: Britney PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Brittany Spear: do U want boys to like U 🤔
  • Co-Worker: Yes, Britney! Show me the way!
  • Brittany Spear: is verry easy just follow this link and find your way https://find.your.way.jp/4wfwf42435753g$single/trinity/
  • Co-Worker: *clicks link*
  • Co-Worker: *pupils dilate*
  • *later*
  • New Guy: *working halfheartedly*
  • Co-Worker: *stumbles into new guy's cubicle* Greeting.
  • New Guy: Hey, braids.
  • Co-Worker: Does your like fishing?
  • New Guy: Nah. Never been much of an outdoorsman unless it involves extreme sports.
  • Co-Worker: Cooooooool. Go to www DOT amazone DOT co DOT de FORWARDSLASH promo FORWARDSLASH yourdiscountnow FORWARDSLASH for 90% discount code on premium fishing rods.
  • New Guy: You alright, braids? You sound kinda complete weird, and your eyes are a little completely black.
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  • New Guy: Uh... yeah. *leads co-worker out of his cubicle* I'm kinda completely busy at the moment. So I'll talk to you later braids. You should probably get back to work too.
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  • *later*
  • Brittany Spear: *tweets* Why is it so dark? Why am I so numb?

anonymous asked:

i want a fic idea where lance gets powers of some sort (water??ice??) but the team doesn't notice and he tries to show them multiple times but always gets shut down then one day in battle he ends up using them and everyone is like whoa!! why didn't you tell us you could do that?? and he either breaks down or just calmly tells them 'i tried but you guys wouldn't listen to me' the others end up feeling really bad either way ((thank you for your time))

((no need to thank)) 

Honestly, I like this idea, but I think if this were gonna work, it have to be at the most tense moment. Like: 

Lance gets the power about two weeks into Shiro’s disappearance from an Alien Prince that thought he was worthy to carry the blessing of his people. Lance never got too tell his team, as they had just gotten the biggest lead on Shiro, and he didn’t wanna distract from that. So he tried to mention it on the side, but everyone is hyper focused on finding Shiro, and just brush him off. Here comes the big rescue mission and Lance pulls water out of the air, and slices through several galra drones, and when he realizes that Shiro wont make it back to the ship he- infront of everyone- pours out some water and pulls a Katara and heals him. Cue drama. 

Byun Baekhyun//True Colours

Summary: You attend a supernatural college, and after an eventful first meeting, you develop a heavy dislike for Baekhyun, as he’s your natural rival - a vampire. But things are strange for you, because as the months go by, you can’t figure out if you’re simply using the rivalry as an excuse to avoid facing your fears.
Scenario: college!AU, supernatural!AU, angst
Word Count: 7,599

Keep reading

4

Tucker’s just really glad Wash is okay.

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

anonymous asked:

Why are there still so many people who believe that cheetahs are the fastest animals alive when it's clearly peregrine falcons?

Listen, it’s all in how you’re going to split hairs or various other integuments on this one. Without any qualifiers, peregrine falcons are the fastest animal. However, they hit their record speeds of 320km/hr+ in free-fall - so, once you start getting into “fastest animal moving under it’s own power”, things get messy. When it comes to powered flight, peregrines only hit about 65-90km/hr.

Cheetahs aren’t even a close second in the unqualified “fastest animals” category though, with their speeds of ~120km/hr; a whole slew of other speedy birds who enjoy plummeting to their deaths just haphazardly smashed their way in there with no regard for those poor earth-bound mammals

So let’s get into some qualifiers. Fastest self-powered movement? Nope; Brazilian free-tailed bats noodle around at a casual 160km/hr - and, as you may notice, this also means cheetahs aren’t even the fastest mammal. It’s only once we rule out everything that isn’t a terrestrial mammal that cheetahs finally take the crown. You tried, cheetahs.

This isn’t even going into speed options beyond our restrictive, human-sized measurements - for instance, in terms of objective body lengths per second the Southern California mite just absolutely crushes it with 322 body lengths per second (whereas cheetahs only score at about 16). To translate, this is the equivalent of a human running 2,092km/hr

💙 Birthday Special. 💙

Birthdays were always a strange thing to Lance. Not that he didn’t understand them, he totally did. But more so, the feelings a simple day could provoke.

Lance came from a large family, that was for sure. And with that, came parties.

His racial culture brought those anyway.

And, as the baby of the family, he had always had some pretty fantastic birthdays as a kid.

Though when he got older, that changed.
Little kids expect birthdays, so parents throw them together and make the kid feel special.

When you grow up, you have to learn that you’re not that special. At least that was how Lance saw it.

Having so many brothers and sisters, birthdays were close together and it got to the point where they weren’t as extravagant because it couldn’t be afforded.

By the time July rolled around, many things were happening that often led to Lances birthday being overlooked as a teenager.

College funds, school shopping, all of the things that would be happening days after Lance had his special day.

In time it just stopped being special.

Would he get a present?
Sure, he didn’t really need anything but come on, everyone is going to think about receiving a gift on their big day.

Would he get a Happy Birthday?
Would anyone remember?

Did anyone care enough to listen if he mentioned what day it was?

Most birthdays, Lance wanted to just stay quiet and see how many people would acknowledge the day. Or how many wouldn’t, would be most likely.

Birthdays soon just became regular days for him throughout the years. Sure, maybe he would get a book and a happy birthday from online friends, but nothing big or fun.

Sometimes he’d get to choose dinner.
But like was mentioned, it became just another day for him.

Sometimes he was hopeful, maybe this birthday would be different. He’d have a party again or maybe Hunk would bake him something.

Hell, even just family bonding.
But it was just a wish.

Lances birthday just wasn’t that important.

Not anymore.

So when his birthday rolled around during their first year up in space, he didn’t say a word.

He didn’t even go on Keith about how now he was older, and rub it in his rivals face.

No, that morning Lance woke up as if it were any other day. Pulled on his clothes, his favorite jacket, brushed his teeth, put on some makeup, and within the next hour was out of his room headed for breakfast.

The blue paladin didn’t notice little mice scurrying into vents, rolls of confetti in their jaws.

“Good morning.” Lance chimed as he entered the dining area, making sure he wasn’t looking around at his friends as he casually went to grab a plate of goo.

In the back of his head, he wondered if anyone knew. It couldn’t be helped.

At the front of his skull, desperately clinging the rest, he knew today was just another day.

It sent a vague pain through his chest but he chose to ignore it. Just another day.

“Good morning, buddy! How is the main man?” Hunk piped up in a cheerful tone.

Lance shrugged, walking to the counter for a fork, not looking up. “Oh, you know, feeling as perfect and charming as ever.”

The dry chuckle that passed the boys lips was unnerving, and the Paladins exchanged glances.

“Lance.”

“Hm?” He rose a brow, not looking up as he dug for the utensil.

“Lance.”

“Yeah?”

“Lance.”

Finally the boy looked up, “I hear you, what do— you…” His breath flowed out of him in a harsh exhale.

Oh my gosh.

At the table his friends stood, holding a ‘cake’ and smiling fondly, if not a little worriedly.

In front of them, were a few haphazardly wrapped presents, which were in all honesty wrapped in toilet paper.

The cake was blue, shaped like an ‘L’ for Lance which they assumed was only fitting for someone obsessed with himself.

Lance didn’t let it get to his head, even though the situation was obvious and his face was bright ass red.

Keep it cool. It’s just another day.

Lance looked up at Hunk, taking his surprise and making it something fake. “Oh shit, whose birthday is it?”

The synchronization of furrowed eyebrows was something uncanny; Lance would have laughed.

Shiro spoke up, softly. “It’s your birthday.”

Pidge tilted her head, “July 28th, right?”

Hunk looked nervous for a moment, leaning to Keith and undoubtedly whispering, “We didn’t get the day wrong, did we?”

They hadn’t.
Of course they hadn’t.

Lance took a good look around.
The room was decorated completely, streamers and confetti and even a banner.

Blue lights glittered for Lance.

They had remembered.
They cared and they were having a party.

Lance blinked, then tried to stay cool and shrugged, suddenly way too emotions rushing at once. “Oh, I know. I just didn't…think anyone would care, no one usually does.”

Way to keep it cool.

Suddenly he was rushed with hugs, a swarm of love and caring bodies pressed to his and strong arms around him.

Lance teared up, something he’d been holding back. He chuckled, “Uh, guys?”

“It’s your birthday! Of course we would care!” Pidge exclaimed, squeezing Lances waist tighter in a hug.

“You’re my best friend, how could I forget?” Hunk said next, ruffling Lances hair.

It was happy tears and sniffles after that, and of course celebration and loud.

Birthdays were always a strange thing to Lance, and forever would be. And ironic.

How?

They were just as unexpected as the day each person decides to be born. Sure, you always know it’s gonna happen, but you are still surprised.

Lance was surprised today.

His space family had not only remembered his birthday, no. That wasn’t initially had Lance so riled up.

It was that they had remembered and acknowledged and embraced it. That was more than he’d gotten in years.

He felt special today.
He felt loved.

If only he knew, what was waiting for him behind the fourth wall, and how much love he was worth.

Happy birthday, Lance.