so that you don't have to kill yourself

The problem with drinking? You have a thirst you can’t quench, one you can’t satisfy no matter how much you take down. It’ll numb you kid, but only for a little bit. Just enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re not in pain, so that you can sleep just for a night.
—  Shade

1. We would miss you. Seriously your blog is a part of my daily life I will miss you.

2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.

3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better I promise I speak from experience. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.

4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing.

5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there.

6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.

7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.

8. You are amazing.

9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. It did for me and it will for you.

10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead.

11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.

12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die.

13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.

14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me.

15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.

16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? NO… Seriously NO

17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.

18. Think about your favorite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again.

19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day.

20. Listening to incredibly loud music

21. Being alive is just really good.

22. Not being alive really sucks.

23. Finding your soulmate.

24. Red pandas (I know google it! Amazing)

25. Going to diners at three in the morning.

26. Really soft pillows.

27. Eating pizza.

28. Proving people wrong with your success.

29. Having the jerks who doubted you see you succeed at life.

30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. Picture it

31. Being able to help other people.

32. Bonfires and drum circles.

33. Sitting on rooftops.

34. Seeing every single country in the world.

35. Going on road trips.

36. You might win the lottery someday.

37. Listening to music on a record player.

38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

39. Taking really cool pictures.

40. Literally meeting thousands of new people.

41. Hearing crazy stories.

42. Telling crazy stories.

43. Eating ice cream on a hot day.

44. Eating ice cream on a cold day.

45. Traveling to another planet someday.

46. Having an underwater house.

47. Randomly running into your hero on the street.

48. Buying your dream home

49. Trampolines.

50. Think about your favorite movie, you’ll never watch it again.

51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke.

52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.

53. People do care.

54. Tree houses

55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a tree house

55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees.

56. I don’t even know you and I love you.

57. I don’t even know you and I care about you.

58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!

59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.


61. Coffee

62. Hugs.

63. Stargazing.

64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.

65. You’ve changed somebody’s life.

66. Now you could change the world.

67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you.

68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.

69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life.

70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.

71. Making snow angels.

72. Making snowmen.

73. Snowball fights.

74. Life is what you make of it.

75. Everybody has a talent.

76. Laughing until you cry.

77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.

78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.

79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down.

80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.

81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero.

82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

83. One day your smile will be real.

84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. Or anytime you like.

85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.

86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends.

87. Eating crazy food.

88. Staying up all night watching your favorite films.

89. Sleeping in all day.

90. Creating something you’re proud of.

91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit.

92. Being able to meet your Internet friends.

93. Hot Chocolate

94. You will never know what Barney Stensons Job is. #how i met your mother.

95. Cuddling under the stars.

96. Being stupid in public because you just can.

97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? I’m smiling at the thought that you’re alive.

98. being able to hug that one person you haven’t seen in years

99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.

100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen.

IF that isn’t enough:

Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline:1-800-784-8433

Life Line:1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline:1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673

Grief Support:1-650-321-5272

Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 e-mail

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail:

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463

b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail:

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 e-mail:

Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600

Drinkline:0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales:0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail

Rape Crisis Scotland:08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline:00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline:022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada):1-800-668-6868,

Free and available 24/7
suicide hotlines around the world:

(Hong Kong:2389-2222)
Costa Rica:606-253-5439
Czech Republic:222-580-697, 476-701-908
Latvia:6722-2922, 2772-2292
New Zealand:4-473-9739
New Guinea:675-326-0011
South Africa:0861-322-322
South Korea:2-715-8600
Trinidad and Tobago:868-645-2800


                    ❝  you  know,  thanks  for  stopping  jester  and  all,  but  i’m  guess  y’didn’t  do  it  outta  the  goodness  of  your  heart?  ❞    never  meet  your  heroes;  it  seems  that  having  a  high  pain  tolerance  only  made  greenie  angry  that  the  witch  didn’t  scream.  well,  mister,  you  kill  yourself  over  a  thousand  times  and  see  if  you  still  feel  pain.    ❝  what?  what’s  next?  i’ve  been  told  i  bleed  pretty!  ❞ 

@onebadxday plotted !

Dear mom,
I remember pretending to sleep as you repeatedly hit me on the back because you had too much to drink, and I remember that next morning you ran out into the street trying to kill yourself right in front of me. I was 8.
I remember you getting drunk at my sisters 16th birthday party and I had to sit in your bedroom and keep you calm so you wouldn’t ruin her day. I was 9.
I remember you getting beat to hell by your new boyfriend and finding out he sexually assaulted his teen aged daughter and still forcing me to spend time with him. I was 10.
I remember the dread I felt every time my dad told me I needed to spend more time with you. Because spending time with you meant spending time with the shit you bought me as you drank yourself to near death in the corner. I was 11.
And I remember when I was 18 and you told me “the ball is in your court” and that you shouldn’t have to make an effort to see me. That I should reach out to you.
Please mom give me one good reason why I would ever want to see you again.
Dear dad,
Fuck you too.
Request: Too Stubborn For Your Own Good

Request: Could you do something where Deanxreader are married and expecting their first child. Reader insists on being involved with the job, but goes into labor early. Hours away from help, Dean has to help deliver the baby. Thanks!!

Word Count: 1,418

I hope you like it, thank you! Have a lovely day!<3

“Wait, you’re leaving? Again?” You ask, pulling yourself to your feet. It’s not so easy these days, but the prospect of Dean disappearing off to some god-forsaken back country road to kill monsters is enough motivation to propel you out of your seat.

“Y/N, sit-“

“Don’t tell me to sit down. You’re leaving again. Why?” You’re done with the bullshit, and you can’t be bothered to listen to his excuses.

“There’s a job. I’ll be gone two days, three at the most, and then I’m done.” He promises, laying his hands on your shoulders. You frown at him, shaking your head.

“You said that last time.”

“I promise, Y/N. This hunt and then no more until the baby’s here, okay?” He reaches down, laying his hand over your (frankly ridiculous) bump. You’re just over eight months along.

“Why do you have to go?” You ask pitifully – you don’t mean to guilt him, but it’s insane how you can go from demanding to miserable so quickly, “I hate being on my own.”

“You’re not on your own.” He frowns, gently moving his hand over your bump in the hopes of feeling a kick, “Cas can check in with you every couple hours. You’ll be fine, I’ll be home before you know it.”

“Cas? As much as I love him, I want you. There’s a reason I married you, not him.” You say, pulling away from him, “It’s okay, you go. But I’m coming too.”


“I’m coming.” You say, folding your arms atop your bump, “I’m sure as hell not hunting but I’ll research and hang out with you guys and get food and whatever. I’m not staying here on my own, Dean. Not anymore. Not so close to the baby coming.”

“You’ve still got, like, a month to go.” Dean frowns, and you shrug.

“There are some days I can hardly stand up. I’m coming with you, or you don’t go at all.” You lay it out for him simply, and after a moment, he nods.

“Fine. But we do it by my rules. I tell you to stay in the motel, you stay in the damn motel, okay?” He demands, totally serious. You nod.



“Everything okay back there?” Dean asks for what must be the thousandth time. You tear your gaze away from the window, where you’re been revelling at the familiarity of the open road, to nod at him in the rear-view mirror.

“I’m golden.” You shoot a grin at him and Sam in the front – you’ve missed this more than you’d care to admit. You haven’t been out with the guys since you his the six month mark – not hunting, which you stopped as soon as you found out you were pregnant – and two months is a long time to be cooped up, especially for someone like you who’s used to adventure and new sights every day.

“You’d better be. Tell me if you’re gonna throw up, ‘cause you’re sure as hell not doing it in my car.” He instructs, but you can see the smile on his face from here.

“Will do.”

You tuck your legs up on the seat beside you and crank the window down a little, letting the air rush against your face and blow your hair back.

Oh, baby. I can’t wait for you to see the world like this. You think, laying a hand over your swollen stomach and smiling to yourself.


“Hey, Y/N, I brought-“ Dean cuts himself off, seeing that you’re not at the desk where he left you – your books are still there, and your notes are there – hell, even your cold, half-finished coffee is still there, “Y/N?”

“Bathroom!” Your reply comes, too quiet. When Dean makes it over there, you’re leant over the bathroom sink, breathing shakily.

“What the hell? Y/N, are you-?” He reaches out, but you jerk back.

“Don’t! I’m okay.” You insist, and when you look up at him, your face is bloodless and your hands are noticeably trembling, “It’s okay. It’ll pass.”

“What’s going on?”

“I- I don’t know.” You admit, taking a shallow breath, “I think it’s just those false contraction things. I’m fine.” You insist.

“You’re in pain.” Dean states sceptically, and you shake your head.

“I was. I’m okay now.” You say, straightening yourself up and taking a deep breath, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Maybe you should sit down for a while.” Dean suggests, and you nod slowly.

“Yeah. Maybe that’s a good idea.” You agree, and you let him help as you hobble back over to the bed. He talks to you about how Sam will be back in a couple of hours and he’s going to bring food, but he said he’d come back to be with you. However, you make is halfway across the room and your knees buckle as a shredding, tearing pain shrieks through your stomach. You cry out, and Dean only just catches you before you hit the floor.

“Y/N?!” He starts looking you over, thinking you’re ill – and then it hits him, “Oh my god, you’re in labour.”

“What? No, I’m – I’m fine!” You grimace, shaking your head. He scoops you up, bridal style, and lays you on the bed.

“Y/N, this isn’t normal. I’m gonna call 911, you sit tight.”


“Sit. Tight.” He says firmly and you do as he says, but only because you don’t think you physically could get up right now. You curl in around yourself, trying to block out the pain – you’ve felt pain before, obviously, but nothing like this. It’s internal and fingering out with white-hot tendrils, seeming to reach the ends of your fingers and toes.

“Dean…” You groan – he’s on the phone, somewhere across the room. As the pain slowly dies off, you hear him getting irate with the guy on the other end.

“What do you mean, it’ll be two hours? What kind of bullshit is that?!” He snaps, looking over at you helplessly, “She’s in pain! I don’t think we have that long!”

He pauses, before flinging his hands up in anger, “You’re sorry?! You’ll be damn sorry when I-“

“Dean, stop.” You snap at him, sitting up, “Quit shooting at the damn messenger and get your ass over here.”

He glares at the phone before hanging up, and crossing over to you.

“Y/N… okay. So… dammit!” He curses, raking a hand through his hair, “I’ve never- okay.” Rallying himself around, he straightens his back and places a hand on your shoulder, “How long has this been going on?”

“Since this morning.” You admit, “They’re about five or ten minutes apart, and they suddenly just got a lot stronger.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was important. I thought I had time.” You shake your head, running a hand through your hair, “What do we do?”

“Well, since it’s Sunday, the GP isn’t open and the hospital is two hours out, but I don’t think we have that sort of time.” He says, sitting gingerly beside you, “I’m gonna call Sam. He can bring some blankets.”

“Wait, you’re seriously-“

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”


“Hey, hey, Y/N,” Dean shakes your shoulder gently, bringing you up from where you’d slumped against the pillows, “Look!”

“Is… is she okay?” You ask, still trying to catch your breath. He nods.

“I think so. She’s crying and moving and she’s pretty strong.” He smiles proudly, helping to place the baby in your arms. He wraps the blanket around you, and another over your shoulders, “Well done, babe.” He kisses your damp forehead and you smile, leaning into him.

“I don’t think I’d be faring so well without you here.” You reply, and he sits down, looking between you and your baby girl with a sense of wonder. Sam went to get some basic baby supplies about a half hour ago, and you’re expecting him to burst in the door any moment now, so you savour the moment with just the three of you. Her eyes are closed and she seems to have settled for the moment, but you don’t mind – it only seems to add to the perfection and tranquillity of the situation.

“Thank you.” You whisper, taking a deep breath, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He grins, revelling in the perfection of his little family. His arms wrap around you and he just holds you there for a little while, until Sam returns and the ambulance finally arrives, blaring sirens and all.

He's not a villain!!!!!!!

Everyone in my family keep saying that “Bucky is the villain!!!!” And, “He tried to kill Captain America.” Seriously, did-did you watch the movie? Yes, he tried to kill Cap, but he was brainwashed to do so. Yes, Cap fell into the water because Bucky punched the crap out of him, but are we forgetting that he dove into the water and saved Steve? I told that to them and they literally said, “ Oh, I forgot that happened.” You forgot?! YOU FORGOT and you have the nerve to tell me that Bucky is a villain when you don’t know all of the facts. Okay, cool.


someone with the url kill–yourself–sharon just submitted to me a photoset of very disturbing, graphic images including open wounds and castrations. I don’t know why, I don’t know what provoked it, but I want you guys to stay safe and make sure you don’t get these incredibly disgusting images sent to you. So if you can, block this person now so you don’t get these images sent to you. 

Please be safe guys. 

Michonne: Have you ever had to kill people because they already killed your friends and were coming for you next? 


Michonne: Have you ever done things that made you afraid of yourself afterwards?


Michonne: Have you ever been  covered in so much blood that you didn’t know if it was yours? Or walkers? Or your friends? 


Michonne: Huh? (bish)


Michonne: Then you don’t know!


Chapter 49 TGre

OH MY GOD. Oh my God. Ishida, you really outdid yourself with this chapter, I have to say. Boy, was it a doozy, and I don’t think I’m ready for the next one. Basically, it seems as if Ishida just went “Fuck it, I might as well kill everyone starting from now” whilst simultaneously planting more death flags on other people (which will be discussed later). I applaud you, Ishida, I really do.

Well, the good news is that the outcome for the Matsumae vs Ihei fight has been revealed! Matsumae lives!!! (For now…) And apologies to all Ihei fans—she was good whilst she lasted. And of course, karma does bite—I’m looking at you, Kijima. I’m not sad that he’s gone too.

One thing that I noticed throughout the fight was how, well, ‘monstrous’ the CCG was getting, whilst the ghouls on the other hand are presented in a more ‘humane’ light. (I think Ishida is purposely doing so, but that’s for speculation.) For example, when Ihei realises she’s been stabbed, she basically, just SNAPS.

And it’s not pretty.

Despite my liking for Ihei, there is one facet of her personality which disturbs me—the fact that she views killing ghouls as a ‘game’. She sees them as beneath her, and when one finally manages to injure her, Ihei doesn’t take this very well. What makes this even more scary is this ISN’T how she usually behaves. Yes, you heard me right. This is just when she’s ‘on the job’. Off the job, she presents herself as someone very likeable, funny, ditzy, etc etc. (Remember her interactions with the Quinx?) The very fact that she can switch between ‘killing machine’ and ‘airhead’ is not a comforting thought. Additionally, who else views that life is a ‘game?’ That’s right–The Pierrots. Funny, when you think about it…

Vice versa, the ghouls have shown ‘human’ characteristics throughout this arc. Aside from Matsumae, I would also like to specially mention Mairo, who despite being such a minor character, instantly captured my heart. Due to his undying loyalty to the Tsukiyama Family, he sacrifices himself to save Matsumae, and in his last dying breathes, is the one to decapitate Ihei and wound Kijima (who Matsumae later finishes off). 

Your death shall not be in vain, my friend.

The other half focuses on the Quinx and the Itou squad, who have encountered Noro. (Thank goodness it wasn’t about Sasaki vs Tsukiyama now, I don’t think my heart could take it.) As expected, to sum up their situation, they’re pretty much screwed.

This isn’t to say that they didn’t give their all. Saiko even took levels in badass in this chapter! Although I will admit she did freeze up when confronting Noro, that’s to be expected. I mean, if I were facing that giant behemoth, I would be pissing my pants and hightailing it out of there. I’m not afraid to admit it.

Oh yeah, did I even mention that we finally get to see Saiko’s kagune? Tbh, it looks like nothing I’ve ever seen before…

Kudos to you Saiko, for managing to bisect Noro! Whilst the other Quinx did help as well, credit where credit’s due. You go girl! Also, about that Kagune…it looks less like a tentacle and more like a GINORMOUS FREEKIN CATERPILLAR coming out of her back?!! That’s both terrifying and awesome, in one strange package.

Of course, Noro being, well, NORO, ends up regenerating from that attack. I mean, he seriously belongs to a zombie apocalypse survival horror genre instead of here. Nothing short of cutting his head off is gonna kill him, and even then I don’t think he’ll die?? Just what are you, Noro??

And lastly, the Death Flags. Poor, poor Kuramoto. Ishida really has the galls to leave their fight on a cliffhanger (again!). Simply speaking, Noro hits him with his kagune, and although Kuramoto has survived (for now…) ribcages are now sticking out of his chest…

In this picture, it seems that the bones although puncturing the skin have not punctured the lungs? Afterall, Kuramoto doesn’t seem to be leaking blood from the mouth (or maybe it’s too early to tell.) However, he’s out of commission now, and I wonder how the squad will function without his leadership…

I swear, their squad has the worst luck. Like up till now all their leaders end up injured or something. Take got his arm stuck with knives (thanks, Uta), and now Kuramoto with a punctured chest? I wish the new leader the best of luck…

Side note here: Another thing I would like to add is the whole ‘Garden’ thing. Apparently, there are hints that this faction of CCG is responsible for investigators like Arima, Ihei etc? Unlike the main branch, they seem to only be focused on training people to become ‘killing machines’, whilst neglecting their emotional welbeing. Seems incredibly fishy…Plus surprisingly Ihei and Arima went into it together??

Any thoughts about this guys?

kgwriter-deactivated20160613  asked:

Your ugly mary story is the most incredible thing ive read all week. Absolutely incredible! Youd better be doing something big with this talent of yours!

ahhh thank you so much! i just really loved that post about weaponized ugliness so much. i think the whole spectrum of beauty can be used in its own ways, from dramatically ugly to dramatically beautiful, but we hear 10,000 more stories about beautiful people than ugly people (and aren’t they almost always villains, in both directions?) so.