this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion. i’ve divided it up into two categories ( light & dark ) based on the themes. some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions. please be cautious before continuing on!!
L I G H T
‘ at night i dream of you. ’ ‘ don’t give up yet. you still have time to fix things. ’ ‘ falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack. ’ ‘ i am still so weak when it comes to you. ’ ‘ i can’t believe i let myself let you down. ’ ‘ i don’t care where we go when we die, as long as i’m with you. ’ ‘ i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late. ’ ‘ i feel so warm & safe when you talk to me. maybe i could love you if you’d let me. ’ ‘ i finally let the right people in & i have never felt so loved. ’ ‘ i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone. ’ ‘ i lived in your permafrost for twenty years & then you looked at me & i felt the warmth of spring. ’ ‘ i once wished you’d leave me alone, but i take it back. ’ ‘ i want to be able to love someone else, but you stretch your arms & spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else. ’ ‘ i want to believe that we got it right this time. ’ ‘ i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely. ’ ‘ i would travel across the world to be by your side, because as long as you are with me, anywhere is a perfect place to me. ’ ‘ it took me awhile to realize it myself, but you are not what other people say you are. ’ ‘ it’s not that i really need you, but life would be pretty boring without you around. there’s no one i would rather be with. ’ ‘ i’d like to stay like this for awhile. ’ ‘ life & death don’t have to be so boring, let’s make both an adventure. ’ ‘ life imitates art, they say. i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke. ’ ‘ live your life so that when you die, souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales. ’ ‘ make your exes jealous & your past self proud. ’ ‘ maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on. ’ ‘ never get caught falling harder. they’ll never let you back up. ’ ‘ please don’t go. ’ ‘ some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it & succumb. ’ ‘ sometimes, you’ll find it hard to keep going, but you always will. ’ ‘ the desire i feel for you is that same itching, insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction. ’ ‘ the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad. ’ ‘ there is absolutely nothing & no one who can stop me. ’ ‘ there is no route of losing you that is without pain. ’ ‘ there’s still room for adventure & there is no one i’d rather have by my side. ’ ‘ things didn’t turn out the way i planned, but i’m alright with that. ’ ‘ we could be really incredible together, you know? ’ ‘ you are beautiful & vibrant & confident. you are light & laughter incarnate & every fiber of your being screams freedom & joy. when i am with you, i am truly happy. ’ ‘ you are starlight incarnate, from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think. blessed are any to be loved by you. ’ ‘ you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you. ’ ‘ you call me yours & i have no idea what that even means to you. ’ ‘ you remind me of bubblegum & sweets; soft & pink & warm. you are strong in the gentlest way. you are so stubbornly kind. i wish i could be like that. ’ ‘ you still visit me while i sleep sometimes. your fingers trace my spine & i listen to you breathe. please stop haunting me. ’ ‘ ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you. ’
D A R K
‘ a thousand empty bottles & fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day. ’ ‘ everyone else has moved on, but i am still here. ’ ‘ everything about you screams danger. ’ ‘ everything is worthless to you & you, in turn, became worthless. ’ ‘ for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress. ’ ‘ freedom is really hard to get used to. ’ ‘ how could you do this to me? how fucking could you? ’ ‘ i am becoming everything we always dreamed of & i am leaving you behind. ’ ‘ i buried you so well that you might as well have died. ’ ‘ i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead & not the monster you became. ’ ‘ i can’t look at you. not now, not ever. ’ ‘ i don’t ask how you’ve been. what’s the point? you’d lie anyways. ’ ‘ i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest. ’ ‘ i haunted this house first. there is no room for you here. ’ ‘ i have a right to be upset. i loved them too, you know. ’ ‘ i just want it to end. i want it to all go away. i want to go away. ’ ‘ i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous. ’ ‘ i saw your face today & didn’t feel anything. i am free. ’ ‘ i tried to save you, but you didn’t want to be saved. you just wanted someone to suffer with you. ’ ‘ it’s almost as if you were never here. ’ ‘ it’s unhealthy to do these things, you tell me. you say it’s time to stop smoking, time to stop gambling, & dammit, i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you. i sure hope you’re right, darling. ’ ‘ i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind ’ ‘ i’m not really scared to die. i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone. ’ ‘ i’m not the person you left behind anymore. there’s no one here to miss. ’ ‘ i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive. ’ ‘ i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals & ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you. ’ ‘ i’ve never been completely satisfied. i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death. ’ ‘ no motive other than pleasure, my dear. ’ ‘ one day i’ll go or you will. either way, it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself. ’ ‘ our dreams & promises decay along with you. ’ ‘ the leaves change, but nothing else does. ’ ‘ the only difference between avoiding & leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you. ’ ‘ there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you. ’ ‘ there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage. ’ ‘ things aren’t going as i hoped. maybe if i die, i can start over again? better luck next time. ’ ‘ this is not something to be proud of. this is a tragedy. ’ ‘ trying to get rid of me? oh honey, you’ll have to try much harder than that. ’ ‘ trying to get under my skin? you’re nothing more than a pesky itch. ’ ‘ unlike you, i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger. ’ ‘ weeping is for gods & martyrs, we cannot afford such luxuries. ’ ‘ would you even miss me? ’ ‘ you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart. ’ ‘ you complain nonstop about being unloved & alone, i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true. ’ ‘ you don’t know what it’s like. ’ ‘ you made this so fucking easy for me. ’ ‘ you should see me as a threat. i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you. i am a walking threat. ’ ‘ you think i’m already gone, but i’m still fighting. ’ ‘ you think i’m dead, but i’m just dying. ’ ‘ you were never an addiction, you were a fucking disease. ’ ‘ you wouldn’t dare cross me. i am god & you are the soil beneath my feet. ’ ‘ your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity. ’ ‘ your fingers are so cold & bruised, but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference. ’ ‘ your hair is tied in a noose & your fingernails are razor blades, your lips are poison & i will gratefully kiss them. ’ ‘ your hatred has a body count & we will not forget. ’ ‘ your loss, not mine. ’ ‘ you’re a sick fuck. you know that? ’ ‘ you’re not gentle with me & i would never ask you to be. ’ ‘ you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore, it’s a pit. ’
A/n: This is an updated version of an imagine I’ve previously uploaded. I know Hendall is so 2015. I get it.
Masterlist linked in bio.
The red wine leaves a particular stain on Harry’s lips that he hadn’t noticed until Kendall pointed it out to him.
“It looks like you’re wearing lipstick” she laughs, “I didn’t know you were going to dress up this much for the party.”
They are currently sat at his mum’s kitchen island, drinking red wine while munching on some chips left out for the guests. The house is filled with familiar faces, friends and family all throughout London coming together for Anne’s birthday celebration.
They hosted one every year for as long as Harry could remember, a time of year where nearly every one of his family members, including his step family, would unite. It was their favorite time of year, believe it or not. Despite all the excitement for the holidays, Anne’s birthday celebration was certainly something special.
It was Kendall’s first time attending, considering the fact that Harry had only really talked to her whenever he was assigned to be with her for publicity. It wasn’t always ideal, however, he built a stable friendship with her, so he didn’t mind the extra company with him from time to time.
She was invited last minute, of course, since his management called last night to ask if there was any way for them to be seen together. With Harry’s new movie coming out and his solo album just released a couple weeks ago, it was almost a given for him to be rumored with a girlfriend. That’s how it’s worked all throughout his career.
He normally wouldn’t have minded, however, this was the worst possible date for him to be with Kendall.
Because it’s Anne’s birthday party, this means that it’ll be the first time in one year that he’ll be seeing Y/n. They have been best friends since they were five years old, basically growing up in the same house as they went through school together. But as time went on, and as they both went to their separate ways, it was hard to keep in touch with each other all the time.
She remained in the small towns of London while Harry was traveling world wide, where his name became known everywhere as Y/n’s was only known through people she attended school with. Of course, they still talked, considering they both admitted to having more than friendship feelings, but their lives were busy in their own ways, preventing them from being more than what they wanted to be.
For the past couple months, Harry planned that this would be the day he’d finally move forward with Y/n. Or, at least attempt to. With the loss of her over the past year, it made Harry realize just how much he couldn’t imagine a life without her. It had been so long—too long, and he couldn’t stand how long he’s lived without keeping in touch with her.
But now, everything he planned for the two of them is becoming impossible. He can’t begin to imagine how Y/n would feel knowing he brought Kendall to his mum’s birthday party after they both confessed their love for each other. In all honesty, he wouldn’t blame her for giving up on him. He keeps doing this to her, even if it’s unintentional.
He watches around the kitchen at the guests he hasn’t seen in quite a while. His leg bounces with impatience when each new person walking in to attend the party isn’t Y/n. It’s been nearly an hour and has never been so late to anything before.
And as horrible as it sounds, he almost wishes she doesn’t come, just so that she can avoid the heartbreak that will come when she reunites with Kendall again.
“I’m sorry I’m late!”
Harry’s head whips around when he hears the voice he’s been deprived of for the past year. The first thing he notices are her lips, and the way they move around her words so softly. They’re slightly glazed with a lipgloss, painting her lips with a rosy shade of pink. They look so much fuller to him now, but he knows not a trace of them are artificial.
His eyes only drift from the shape of her lips when her fingers reach to tuck loose pieces of hair behind her ear. It’s then he notices just how much shorter her hair has gotten. What was once so long and lank is now falling just above the shoulder, set in luscious curls he can only imagine twisting around his fingers.
His jaw goes slack when he sees the pale pink dress she’s wearing. It’s made from silk, the metallic fabric glowing with each step she takes. He gulps when he notices just how much the dress accentuates the curvature of her body and how much of her legs are put on display for him to see, and he can’t help but to wipe the sweat off his palms when he watches her greet his mother with a proper kiss on the cheek.
He notices that his eyes haven’t shut since he’s seen her, but he’s so completely intrigued by how much has changed in her. Something about her seems so much more real—so much more vibrant—and he can’t seem to stop himself from praising how time has done her so goddamn well.
“You never told me she was going to be here.“
His body jerks at Kendall’s sudden appearance, her body slowly occupying the seat next to his at the kitchen island. If it wasn’t for her, he swears he would have caught himself drooling.
“Didn’t think I had to,” he says with a shrug, “she’s been my best friend since we were five. She’s basically apart of this family, she wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”
Y/n hasn’t missed a single one of Anne’s birthday celebrations since she’s known Harry. Their bond is irreplaceable—so irreplaceable, in fact, that Anne has been convinced Y/n is a miracle for their family. She was there for them through all the troubled times; helping them through their hardships and family instabilities.
When Anne and her husband first got divorced, Harry and Y/n were seven. Harry didn’t understand much of what was happening, all he knew was that his mum and dad weren’t going to love each other anymore. He was hurting, even when Gemma was there to try and keep him together. He started to believe everything between his parents was a lie.
She understood the whole separation process. Her mum left her at a young age, leaving her alone with her father. They were close, of course, but she always missed having a mother figure in her life. It made her upset to know she could only listen to one voice in the house, but as she grew older, she accepted it more.
By the time she met Harry, he kept bringing her over to his house as the years went on. Anne was the closest she had to mother, and their bond became unbreakable by the time Y/n was a teenager. Nearly seven years of Y/n being like another member of the family, Y/n started buying Anne Mother’s Day cards.
So when Y/n watched her second family fall apart, along with Anne’s heart, and she was determined to patch them back together again. Even at her young age, she’d pick flowers from her garden and give them to Anne everyday after school. Y/n said they represented her, and how she felt being a woman with such love and beauty could die all too quickly. Harry never understood what it meant, but Y/n did, which is why she never stopped until she heard Anne laughing again.
She also started to draw pictures and write her letters, reminding her of how loved she was by everyone. As much as Anne was heartbroken during the time, she took the letters everywhere she went and kept every flower alive for as long as she possibly could. Anne would always tell Harry “That girl came into our lives for a reason, my love. She’s a special one, our little miracle, never let her go. You hear me?”
Harry didn’t understand what it truly meant to let someone go, but he did his best to do anything but that. And now, as Harry sits on his mother’s kitchen island and seeing Y/n for the first time in a year, he feels he’s done just that.
“Guess not.” Kendall mutters, taking her last sip of the red wine left in her glass. “She’s just so strange, I guess. I can barely hold a conversation with her without her making an excuse to leave.”
Kendall and Y/n never really got along, it was extremely noticeable to everyone who held a conversation with the both of them. They just don’t see things in the same light. Y/n is very outgoing and lively; an extreme extrovert that seeks adventure—and Kendall can’t stand it. She thinks Y/n does it for attention, especially because she’s remained a small town girl while being surrounded by well-known celebrities. And even though it may seem like Y/n likes the attention, that’s not her purpose. She gives all her attention to others, never to herself, and it has always been something Harry loved the most.
And when it comes to Y/n, Kendall was that one thing that was constantly in her way of Harry. No matter how many times Harry and Y/n discussed how there was something between them, Kendall always found her way back to haunt her. She was her worst goddamn nightmare. She was perfect for Harry in the public eye, and nothing made Y/n feel worse than knowing she’ll never be her type of perfect, especially when it came to Harry.
But Kendall doesn’t know that. All she knows is that Y/n is extremely stand-offish with her, and she’ll never understand why.
“She’s not used to our lives. It’s extremely difficult for her to understand how we live, you know? She’s normal.”
Kendall scoffs, eyes rolling around the room because she hates that word. She feels so divided, like she’s in a categorization in society and everything about it makes her teeth clench.
“We’re normal, too, you know. I don’t understand why she feels so intimated and feels like she has something to prove.”
Harry’s jaw clenches slightly at the negative connotes Kendall has about Y/n’s life. Something about it makes his stomach twist the wrong way, and he can’t help the underlying growl in between his words.
“We’re not normal. Deep down, you and I both know that. You also don’t know Y/n, so stop making irrational assumptions about her.”
Kendall narrows her eyes at Harry, a gaze full of confusion and disbelief at the undeniable grumble in his tone. Any rational conversation they have about Y/n always end the same—with Harry quick to end the discussion and jump to her defense. It’s times like these Kendall never understood the true extent of Harry and Y/n’s relationship. They always claimed it was platonic but there has always been a sense of something stronger in them, like unaddressed or unchased feelings, or a past they shared that was kept between the two.
Either way, it annoyed the shit out of Kendall because they both were hiding something that she’ll never be able to get answered.
“Fine, whatever.” She sighs dramatically, scooting her chair back until she has room to stand properly. “Want some more wine? Getting some.”
Harry slides his empty wine glass so that it’s in front of her, muttering a small “yeah, thanks” before she’s on her way to the counter across the room, retrieving extra wine and mingling with some of Harry’s family.
Harry sighs while his head rests at the palm of his hand, eyes gazing directly to where Y/n is standing. His lips tug up lightly when he hears her laugh from the living room, his tongue running over his bottom lip ever so slightly as he watches her mouth lift and her eyes squint shut as she catches up with one of his uncles about his grand annual weekend fishing trip.
And as his eyes stay so transfixed on the woman in the other room, he can’t help but imagine seeing that type of perfection every day for the rest of his life.
“And everyone thinks Sweet Creature is about me..”
Harry’s head snaps to Gemma’s figure leaning over the edge of the island, her elbows hitched on the counter as a small smirk plays on her lips. She found it abnormally amusing how he didn’t even acknowledge her presence until she spoke, too invested in hawking over Y/n’s every move.
Harry grumbles, but the smile from Y/n’s laughter is permanent on his lips when he does so. Gemma even notices his cheeks brighten with pink, another hint of confirmation to the words she spoke.
“Shut up, Gem.“
She puts her arms up defensively, “Hey, don’t take it out on me. I’m just making an observation.”
Harry rolls his eyes as Gemma wraps her arm around his neck, hunching over so that her lips are close to his ear and eyes are directed toward Y/n again.
“She has gotten hotter, hasn’t she?”
She has no idea. All Harry can think about is how someone already so beautiful has grown to be so perfect. Everything about her makes Harry want to get down on his knees and worship every inch of her body. He has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from thinking how much of a wreck he wants to make out of her.
“I don’t know how she did it. You better get her while you still have the chance, I know many, many men who want a taste of her.”
No is the first thing Harry thinks when the words leave from Gemma’s mouth. As hypocritical and selfish as it is, knowing other men have shown an interest in her makes his skin crawl. And he can’t help but feel his throat tighten at the moment Y/n realizes he had brought Kendall to this party.
“Is she—“ he can’t even finish his sentence without his jaw tightening again, hindering the rest of his question from leaving his lips.
“Oh, quit your worrying, H. She’s single, I don’t think she’d ever date someone who isn’t you. Besides, I don’t think you can do much about it with Kendall here.”
Gemma lifts a finger to where Kendall is standing, still in the same spot as she talks to his aunt Leslie. His heart hurts knowing what Y/n will feel when she finds out. He knows that there is always a part of her that feels discouraged whenever there’s a new woman in his life. In between Harry and Y/n’s love for each other was a mix of false hopes and miscommunication, and it always fucked them up whenever anything else was put in their way.
Gemma pats his shoulder before making rounds to her family and friends again, leaving Harry slumped against the counter with not a drop of wine to numb his scrambling mind.
When Y/n finishes catching up with the rest of Harry’s family, she finds that her patience is wearing thin. It’s been a year since she’s seen the love of her life, and knowing that he’s somewhere near her is enough to get her heart racing.
When she sees him sitting alone at the kitchen island, wearing his infamous pink suit and staring down at his fingers, it’s as if her body starts to malfunction. Her legs stop moving and her lips part, eyes glistening with admiration as she sees him for the first time in so long.
He’s as beautiful as ever, his new haircut accentuating his facial structure. His lips seem so much more red, too, which are complimented greatly by that goddamn suit. Everything about him radiates, like he’s developed into a whole other person. She’ll never quite grasp the idea that she’s about to reunite with him; something about it makes her palms sweat.
Harry lifts his head up to look at her in all her glory. His heart warms at her presence more than the wine did, and he can’t help but to take a breath of relief when he finally hears her voice again.
“Y/n.” He breathes out, his fingers instinctively reaching up to the ends of her cut hair.
He chokes out a laugh of admiration when he sees her this close to him. She is so much different—so much more perfect than he ever remembers her being and it takes his breath away.
His fingers twist her hair, wrapping them around the digits before letting the strands fall back in place again. He never saw her without her hair down to her waist, and now that he has, he never wants to see her hair past her shoulders again.
“It’s so beautiful” he whispers, “you look so beautiful like this, Y/n. I absolutely love it.”
She blushes, her chin tucking slightly into her neck as if trying to hide how much of a reaction he got out of her. No matter how many years she’s known him, she was never used to the way he spoke to her.
“It was spontaneous. Really wanted a change, and it looks like I’m not the only one.”
Her hands reach to his hair, which is so much shorter compared to the last time she saw him. She remembered she couldn’t keep her hands out of it last year, constantly finding ways to tangle her fingers at the ends. Harry found it hysterical, actually, and thought it was the cutest thing she’s ever done.
“It’s just so soft” she’d say, “it’s like a whole other world in there!”
But now her only option is to tangle her fingers at the roots, and as she does so, her mind drifts to all the other occasions she could have her hands in his hair again.
“It’s so much shorter. Look at that! I can barely tug on it anymore!” She laughs in amusement, her fingers slipping as she pulls too hard.
He smirks up at her, a giggle falling from his lips as he watches her utterly amused reaction. They begin to catch up with the part of their lives they both have missed. Harry talked about his album while Y/n started discussing her new journalism job.
Talking to Y/n is one of the only normal parts of him left, it always gave him a sense of grounding whenever he felt his career was taking off to heights he wasn’t ready for. She is one of the only sense of normality he has left in his life, and it’s another reason as to why he admires her so dearly. She brought out parts of him nobody else could reach, and it’s another reason why he feels so upset he’s barely talked to her.
“Y/n?” he asks hesitantly, reaching his hand over so that his fingertips graze her hand.
Her breath breaks when he touches her, the softness in his voice proving that what is about to be discussed is far more important than their previous conversation. She notices the stress lines in between his forehead and the parting of his wine stained lips when he begins to speak.
“I’m so sorry I haven’t kept in touch with you. I know how it makes me look, especially after everything that happened between us. With the new album and everything, I’ve just been so busy with—“
Harry’s head jumps to where Y/n stares dumbfounded, Kendall holding two glasses of wine in one hand while the other is carrying a plate of chicken wings. She’s looking down at Y/n, too, her eyebrows lifted up in an intimidating manner. There’s a scowl present on her lips as she continues to tower over her.
Y/n feels tears building in her eyes as she takes in the situation at hand. She was so fucking dumb to think that Harry was going to come to Anne’s party alone, especially since his new album just released. This is Kendall’s prime time appearance, when Harry needs a familiar famous face beside him to advertise his solo career.
This isn’t anything new—this isn’t anything unfamiliar, but the pain feels like a fresh wound to her heart. Harry and Y/n are nearly 24, with having known each other and felt something for each other for years, she thought that if anything were going to happen, it was going to happen now. But everything between them has remained stagnant for so long that the last sliver of hope she had for their potential relationship has been completely taken away from her. By Kendall, again.
“W—Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t know Harry had invited you.”
“Yeah,” Kendall nods, “he invited me last night.”
Y/n’s lips purse together, nodding her head as her eyes drift around the kitchen. Anything to avoid Kendall’s eyes—anything to feel as unimportant as she does now.
Harry’s eyes squeeze shut, a small hissing releasing from his tongue at how wrong it all sounds, considering absolutely nothing happened between Harry and Kendall the previous night besides being demanded that the two of them are to be seen together again.
“Right,” Y/n’s voice cracks, “well, I’m sorry to interrupt your time together. I’m going to go to Gemma’s room, got a phone call from my dad a while ago so I should go check up on him. I’ll see you guys around.”
She musters up a pathetic smile before practically running away from them. After everything they both told each other, after all the feelings they’ve had toward each other, how could Harry keep doing this to her? How could he keep being with Kendall when he says he loves Y/n?
She doesn’t even find the strength in her to hold in her tears before she approaches the steps, not daring to look back at them again. She never wants to see them in the same room again, it’ll be too much her heart can handle.
“You’ve really got to be fucking kidding me, Kendall.” Harry growls.
His hands fist around the wine glass, his knuckles turning white and he’s absolutely shocked it hasn’t shattered into pieces in his hands from all the anger pulsing through his veins.
“Jesus, Harry, neither one of you can take a joke. Does she not understand that all of this is for the press? She keeps acting like we’re a couple.”
“Could you really blame her after that? ‘He invited me last night,’ you’re really getting a kick out of making her uncomfortable, aren’t you?”
He grumbles as he takes a long sip of his wine, hoping that the alcohol loosens his muscles enough to restrain himself from doing anything he regrets. He loves his mum too much to start an argument during her birthday party, and as much as Kendall’s shifting Harry’s mood, he still appreciates her as a friend to ruin anything.
“That wasn’t even my fault, you both dug into that way too deep. Last night does not mean while we were fucking. It’s a time of day.”
“It’s the way you said it.”
“Are you being serious, Harry?”
He slams his glass down on the island, grumbling under his breath while he stands up from his chair. No matter how much anger is in him now, the only thoughts swirling in his brain are wondering if Y/n’s okay. She would have never left the party to go into a secluded room, not even if her dad called her.
“You leave her the fuck alone, Kendall. I mean it.”
He storms away from her, desperate to find Y/n because God only knows what’s really happening in that bedroom. Y/n’s emotions and feelings are always positive, always so bright, and he refuses to be the reason they turn upside down. She doesn’t deserve all he keeps doing to her, she doesn’t deserve him.
When Harry nearly swings himself onto the first step, he can already hear the soft murmur of Y/n’s and Anne’s voice, which makes him stop from approaching them any more than he has already.
“Y/n? Y/n, darling?” Anne asks with worry when she sees Y/n climbing up the top step with tears in her eyes, soft cries falling from her throat as her hand attempts to silence them.
She reaches an arm out for her, tugging at the front of Y/n’s dress slightly to get her attention. She’s grateful it was Anne who found her this way instead of any other guest at the party, considering nobody besides her and Harry have seen her with a frown on her face.
“Y/n, baby, what’s going on with you?”
The lights are off in the hallway, with no guests permitted in the area, which gives Y/n the proper time to fully allow her tears to fall down her cheeks.
“I’m so s—sorry, Anne.” Y/n cries.
Anne’s hands rub her shoulders, reassuring her that there’s absolutely nothing for her to apologize for. It also lets her know that she’s willing to listen to her, no matter where or when—she’ll always be there.
“I’m almost 24, Anne, and I’ve put so much of my life on hold for him.”
She knows instantly who Y/n’s talking about. It wasn’t difficult to notice the undying connection between Y/n and her son, especially as the years went on. They have grown so strongly together, there has never been a doubt in Anne’s mind that Y/n is going to be the girl Harry ends up marrying. Everyone in the family called it a destiny waiting to happen, but it has been so long since anything has happened between them, and Anne can’t help but feel heartbroken to know Y/n’s carrying the wrong idea about him and Kendall.
“And I’ve sacrificed so m—much to continue waiting for him, but I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore. We’re nowhere near where we should be, especially when he keeps spending time with Kendall and I just—I just don’t know if I can—“
“Oh, my darling.” Anne sighs, cradling Y/n’s head against her shoulder as she rubs down her back.
She shushes her through her tears, rocking her slightly in an attempt to calm her from her cries. It’s extremely rare for Y/n to feel upset, so when she does so, Anne knows she deserves all the comfort and love she can get.
“I know you so well, and I know my son. I always knew you were a match made in heaven, my dear. I knew from the start you were more than just an ordinary girl. You’re so special, to everyone in our family, but especially to him. He may not have his head screwed on right most of the time, but if I can promise you anything with all my heart, it’s that he loves you. Please, no matter what, never forget that.”
Y/n nods against her shoulder, thanking her through her violent cries before Anne insists she takes some time to herself. And as much as Y/n wanted to refrain from going into Harry’s bedroom, it’ll be the only place that brings her a sense of comfort.
Harry already knows he’s in for a lecture the second he sees his mum coming down the stairs with bewildered eyes. She grips his shoulders, her face tight with frustration.
“You go over to her and you be the man I taught you to be, Harry.”
Harry’s eyes widen at her words, swallowing thickly at the thought of disappointing another person in his life.
“She loves you and you love her. Stop doing favors for other people and start thinking about you before you ruin both of your lives forever. You hear me?”
Harry nods feverishly, determined and more motivated than ever to fix all that he’s caused. Love comes first, always, and he needs to remember that before he breaks Y/n’s heart completely.
She’s it. She’s all that matters to him.
He barely responds to Anne before he’s racing to his old bedroom, completely clueless as to what he’s going to say, but willing to do anything to get her back.
“Y/n?” Harry calls through the door of his old bedroom. “Y/n, can I come in?”
He knocks on the door lightly, just using the knuckles of his pointer and middle finger. He hears her feet pad over to the door, opening it to reveal her tear stained cheeks. Her hands are trembling against the knob, her breath broken with soft, gentle cries. Her eyes are widened with sadness, wet and red from tears she barely ever cries.
“Y/n.” He whimpers, tentatively reaching his shaking fingers up to her cheeks. He wipes away the tears from the bottoms of her eyes, sighing upsettingly as her eyes close at his touch. “Never seen you like this. Please talk to me.”
Her lips quiver as another sob rips through her, her hand reaching up to capture his between her fingers. Her saddened and wet eyes looking down at the intertwined hands now resting against her lap.
“I’m so tired, H.” She whimpers, “So tired.”
His lips press against her forehead, “I know, love. I know.”
She wraps her arms around him, her face burying in between his chest as he lets her tears soak in his undershirt.
“I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I’d finally be alone with you after all this time. I missed being close to you, I wanted to be closer to you and I thought you felt the same about me and I didn’t understand, Harry, I didn’t get it and—“
“Hey, relax for me.” Harry mumbles, his lips grazing tenderly along her cheek.
She takes a deep breath, her fingers fisting the back of his suit tighter in her fists. She rests her chin on the top of his chest, tears still roaming down her face as she lets out an exasperated sigh. Her fingertips trace patterns on his back, her eyes fluttering closed as he pushes some of her hair off of her face, refraining them from sticking to her wet cheeks.
“I didn’t get it,” she whispers, “I was so confused, and when you didn’t answer my calls or texts I thought you didn’t find me important. And I was under no right to be upset about it, because you’re busy and you have priorities. But when I saw you today, I didn’t see you as the Harry I always have, I still can’t tell you what I saw but I wanted every part of you more than I ever have before. But when I saw Kendall I—“
Her cries and words die down when she feels Harry’s tender lips against hers. She’s taken aback at first, and before she has any time to really kiss him back, he’s already pulled away.
“Let me fix this.” He breathes out, “let show you that I only want you.”
His lips press against the side of her mouth, not allowing himself to kiss her the way he wants to until she lets him. They then begin to travel down her neck, along her jaw, around her mouth.
Y/n’s breath is stiff as he does so, embracing the feeling of his mouth against her skin. They’ve only ever kissed a handful of times, none of them being passionate or loving. They’ve shared pecks while saying goodbyes or after confessing their feelings, but none quite like this—none quite like the one anticipating to happen.
His breathing his hard when he continues to kiss along her skin, his fingers moving longly in her hair the more his mouth presses against her.
“Will you let me?” He whispers when his lips are ghosting over hers, “this okay?”
She nods feverishly, hitting the point of desperation when she feels his breath fan over the skin of her face. She’s been needing this for far too long now.
His thumb runs over her bottom lip one, two, three times before he finally leans in. Their lips mush together passionately, only breaking apart to move their position before locking again. Their tongues meet in the middle, making the both of them moan at the unfamiliar spark coursing through their veins.
Harry walks toward his bed until Y/n’s knees hit the edge of it, making her back meet the mattress. Their lips haven’t detached once, not daring to break away from the feeling they’ve both been deprived of.
They’re both making out on Harry’s childhood bed, grinding onto each other half naked like two hormonal teenagers. Their clothes thrown across the room, lips swollen from all the suction and nibbling, and hair completely knotted from either of their fingertips, the party below them long forgotten.
“Wait, wait wait wait!” Y/n gasps, lifting herself off of his chest.
Harry’s chest rises and falls rapidly, trying to catch his breath as he looks up at Y/n in confusion. He watches as a smirk lifts from her lips as she peers down at his flushed face, giggling slightly at his complete fucked out appearance.
She notices that his lips remained stained from the red wine—a little faded—but still making her body weak at the sight of it.
“’s the matter?” He croaks.
His voice is thick—an entirely different level of raspy, and Y/n wonders how she’s lived so long without hearing him speak in that way. Between all the kissing, all the touching, all the moaning, his voice has a particular roughness to it that Y/n could feed off of if she had to.
“We shouldn’t do this, right? I mean, we’re about to fuck during your mum’s birthday party. Your entire family and Kendall are downstairs, anybody could walk in at any second, or hear us, and your mum could find that so disrespectful and—“
Her rambling is interrupted by his lips, meeting hers passionately between her words.
There is no way in hell he’s leaving this room tonight. Everything that’s been stagnant between them is finally moving in the right direction, and he can’t find it anywhere in him to walk away from it.
“You think I’m letting you go now?” He whispers, his thumb running along her bottom lip. “I have been waiting for this moment with you since high school, sweetheart.”
His lips reattach to her neck, sucking on spots he hasn’t already left marks on, soaking up every bit of the time he has with her before it’s over. This is the first time they’re going to make love, and he wants to feel and remember every bit of this moment.
“B—But your mum—“ She moans, her fingers nearly tangling at the ends of his hair as she hisses in pleasure from his tongue.
“Every single person downstairs knows about us. This—this happening right now, has been expected to happen since I first brought you home. I guarantee you, nothing will make her more happy than knowing her son and his future wife are finally acting on our feelings instead of pushing them to the side again.”
His words make Y/n blush like no other; her cheeks turning the shade of pink on her dress she wore previously. It’s then he notices just hot fucking pretty she is in pink, how every tint of the color compliments her in ways he can barely wrap his head around.
“Future wife, hm?” She smirks, tapping the pads of her fingers against his bare collarbones.
He kisses her again.
“Thought you knew that, love. Wouldn’t know a single soul I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” His fingers dig into her hips, “’s always been you.“
Y/n pushes Harry’s back against the mattress again, trailing her fingers down his torso. She giggles when his teeth clench at her touch, finding it almost irresistible to embrace the way he responds to her touch so easily.
@avengerstories - thank you for spending close to a month listening to me complain about this part, helping me finally get it written, and editing it for me.
“It happened!” Wanda yells, rushing into the apartment and slamming the door shut behind her. She floats all the way to the couch, picks up a pillow, and hugs it close to her chest. “It finally happened.”
Forgetting all about the milk you were warming up in the microwave, you rush to your roommate’s side. Her cheeks are tinged a light pink color that has nothing to do with the cold. “Viz asked you out?”
Vision, known to your friends as Viz, is a foreign exchange student that Wanda has been crushing on since he asked her for directions last semester. There’s no way to compute the amount of hours you’ve spent analyzing his actions with her and trying to determine whether or not he reciprocated her feelings.
“He asked me out,” she squeals, hiding her face in the pillow and kicking her feet out in front of her. Her enthusiasm level makes you laugh; not at her, but with her. She’s been dreaming about this moment for months and you’re glad that it finally happened. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s Wanda.
That’s why you keep a tight hold on the resentment that’s attempting to consume you as you realize that Wanda has what you don’t: a date with a guy she really likes. You wish you didn’t feel this way, but the wound created by Bucky’s words last night is still raw and very much at the forefront of your mind.
Summary: When a need arises, Steve and Bucky on a whim lie about their sexuality to you. Unbeknownst of their purpose you let them stay with you, in your apartment. But what happens when they start falling for you? And what will be the outcome of their harmless tall tale?
You had gotten it printed into your brain. It was too late now, you couldn’t forget your idea, no matter what. Bruce knew, and didn’t try to stop you from doing what you were gonna do anyway. Besides, he thought it was cute.
What was your idea ? Simple. Damian never had a normal childhood. He was still a kid, only eleven…So he still had a chance at having somewhat of a normal childhood (if you put his nightly activities on the side…and the fact that he had been raised to be a killer).
Against all odds, you and Damian clicked pretty fast. He warmed up to you the fastest…He felt like you were the only one of the bat family not judging him in any way. Also, you told him off when he was going to far, and he found that he couldn’t speak badly to you, that you had an effect on him that made him want to be nicer. Better…In a word, you quickly became his mommy.
He never really had an actual mother. Talia wasn’t exactly loving with him, and she did try to kill him a few times, succeeding once (a memory you don’t like to remember). You were the first one, even before Bruce or Dick, to make him feel loved and to make him feel what love really was…How could he resist that ?
The first time he called you “mom”, not “mother”, “mom”, you cried, and the poor boy thought he did something wrong. You explained to him that it was “happy tears”, but you’re not sure he understood. He gave you an awkward hug, and you couldn’t stop but smile. It’s that exact moment that forged the idea of trying to show him what a normal childhood was. But, even though he considered you his mom, he wasn’t going to make things easy for you and your plans.
A/N: Hey loves, this is it! Chapter 6 is finally here after the long delay and it gets steamy as heck this time! ;) I’m super sorry for the long wait, this writer’s block is killing me haha! I hope you guys like it! Enjoy! -Delilah
Haunting Me: Y/N is a normal young adult living in New York, but little does she know that she’s a reincarnation of the long lost Bucky Barnes’ fiance from the 1940′s. What happens when she runs into Steve in 2012? Most importantly, what happens when she runs into The Winter Soldier?
You took a small step back, placing a hand on your chest.
Bucky gave you a small, sheepish smile,before looking over at the paintings in your room. There were countless ones, strung up on the little clothes line you put up, on the walls, on numerous easels. And every single one of them was of one person: Bucky.
He walked towards a specific one, which was a painting of him wearing his old military uniform. He was smiling that old, dorky little smile he used to give you. Behind him, was the Wonder Wheel at Coney Island. That was where you had your first date.
“You remember this?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at you with a smile. One that heavily resembled the painting. You nodded, feeling your cheeks heating.
“It was our first date, right?” you asked. He grinned this time, before looking back to the painting on the wall.
“I tried so hard to impress you that night,” he recalled as he ran his fingers over the artwork. “I kept trying to win that little teddy bear for you, but I kept missing every damn time.”
“You ended up stealing it instead.” You smiled as you recalled a very young Bucky as he hopped the counter when the man wasn’t looking and swiped the bear. You both ran so fast before the man could catch the two of you.
Bucky moved towards the next painting, which was one from the day you both made love for the first time. He was lying on his side, propped up onto his elbow as he peered down at you. The silver necklace you had given him was the only thing he was wearing, besides the sheets that were gathered around his waist. He was giving a lazy smile, his hair sticking up in random places.
“This was a really good night,” he chuckled; biting his lip as the memories of you withering beneath him came flooding back to his mind. He remembered exactly how you looked as he hovered over you, your moans filling the room as he pounded you into the mattress. And your breasts, man he loved those. He had seen all shapes and sizes back in his day, but yours were special. To him, they were perfection.
“You accidentally burned me with your cigarette right after that.” You reminded him, your eyebrow slightly rising. You could see the blush on his cheeks as he recalled the memory. Bucky loved to smoke in bed. Right after that picture, he lit a cigarette and forgot it was in his hand when the ash fell onto your shoulder, creating a dark scar.
Bucky slowly moved towards the last painting on the wall, which caught him off guard the most.
It was a recent one. He was sitting at the small table that belonged to the little rundown motel he had taken you to the day you were reunited. But this painting was different. Instead of him smiling, his face was set in a frown; his eyes were cold and lifeless.
“I take it you’re still mad about that night?” he asked as he turned around all the way this time.
“Well,” you began, stepping over some of the paint cans. “You did kidnap me and tie me up.”
“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” he smirked. “You used to love being tied up.”
You blushed, giving his shoulder a playful punch as he laughed. For a split second, it felt like how it used to be: Bucky making you blush, while you both shared a laugh. One that you honestly hadn’t had in years.
The laughter slowly turned into cackles as Bucky jokingly poked your cheek. You giggled, crinkling your nose as you swatted his hand away.
You reached to his side and gently pinched his ribs, causing him to cackle and jerk away from you. Instantly, you let out another giggle.
“The Winter Soldier is ticklish?” You teased, smiling widely as he began backing away. He shook his head, his eyes wide as you began stalking towards him.
You lunged for him, wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him down onto the tarp covered ground. You landed right on top of him with a dull thud.
“Y/N!” He laughed, his eyes crinkling from the giant smile he was currently wearing. “S-Stop!”
You ignored his pleas as you planted your fingertips onto his ribs and wiggled rapidly. He howled with laughter as you tickled him mercilessly. Truth be told, his smile did something to you. It made you want to sing every song in the world at the top of your lungs, or draw every thing that had to do with him.
You were so lost in thought, you hadn’t noticed that Bucky had slid away from you, smirking devilishly. You blinked, looking over just in time to see him fly forward. He wrapped his arms around your smaller body and brought you onto the ground with him.
You gasped as one of the paint cans tumbled over, splashing the both of you with lilac colored paint.
You peered up at Bucky, who was hovering above you, watching you as if you were some interesting new discovery of some sort. He analyzed every single little feature on your face, along with your mannerisms.
You smiled up at him, noticing the same one he gave back.
Slowly, you noticed his paint covered fingertips brushing against your bottom lip, tracing the flesh lightly. You felt yourself leaning in, bringing your face near his as he did the same. It took him a second to understand, but when he did, he finally leaned in as well.
For a split second, your lips touched and you swore you could feel the fireworks. The warmth in your chest.
But this time, the ache in your skull was back, and from the pained look on Bucky’s face, it was affecting him as well.
“Bucky,” you breathed.
Bucky hovered over you, his beautiful blue eyes soft with nothing but love. Love he had for one person only: you.
“I’ve never done this before,” you whispered, staring into his eyes. “I’m a virgin.”
Bucky’s lips slowly curled upwards into a smile as he watched your cheeks turn a dark shade of pink. You had never been with anyone before. You had been on a couple dates here and there, but in the end, it never worked out.
But Bucky, he was so different than the rest. He made you feel comfortable even in your time of need. He made you feel safe. Even when you were just holding hands, it felt so intimate not only on a physical level, but spiritually.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, sugar.” Bucky grinned, his voice growing soft. He reached down to you and gently moved a strand of your hair that had fallen upon your face.
“If it’s too much for you, tell me and I’ll stop.”
“But Bucky-” you protested.
“Y/N,” he clipped, his smile slowly turning into a frown. “This is supposed to be good for both of us, alright?”
You nodded, feeling your face heat up once more. You were so ready for this. You craved intimacy from Bucky, and now your wish was going to come true.
Bucky placed a small kiss onto your lips, his hand tracing your jawline, before pulling away from you. You watched as he pulled away from you and reaching over to his night stand and grabbing ahold of the condom.
Immediately, your heart began to race. Reality was hitting you like a brick wall now and you were realizing the seriousness of the situation. Bucky was going to make love to you. This was really happening.
He hurriedly slid the condom onto his thick length. Your eyes widened as you took in the sight before you. You had never seen that part of the male anatomy before, and you were extremely impressed. Also, you were a bit intimidated as well. Bucky…well, he was big.
Noticing your shocked expression, he stopped his actions and peered down at you with a small, loving smile.
“What’s wrong, doll?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.
You gulped, your gaze flickering from his length to his handsome face. You put on a fake smile.
“Nothing, Bucky…” you replied.
He raised his eyebrows before hovering over you once again. He placed small butterfly kisses onto your cheeks, moving down to your neck.
“Please don’t hide from me.” He begged, peering back up at you with puppy dog eyes, ones that made your heart swell.
“It’s gonna hurt,” you admitted. “You’re bit bigger than expected, Bucky.” He let out a chuckle before kneeling between your legs once more.
“It is gonna hurt, sugar,” he confessed as he gently pumped his cock with his hand. You immediately felt yourself becoming wetter by the second. “But it’s gonna get better, I promise. A couple minutes in and you won’t even feel it.”
You nodded, hypnotized by his movements and the small sighs that escaped his lips as he pleasured himself.
“Spread your legs for me, baby.” He said. His voice was lower, raspy with want.
You spread your legs wide, giving him a full view of your glistening core. You were soaked now and Bucky had to breathe to prevent himself from diving right in.
Once again, he leaned forward and hovered above your smaller body, positioning himself between your legs. You felt his cock rub against your folds, separating them.
Your hands wrapped around his neck, gently massaging his scalp with your fingers. This was it.
Bucky have you a small peck to your lips before rolling his hips forward, entering your heat.
You gasped, removing your hands from his neck and wrapping them around his biceps as he gave another experimental thrust. It hurt, you’d admit. But at the same time, it was somewhat pleasurable.
Bucky let out a groan, his heart thumping against yours wildly. His eyes were fixed on yours, burning into yours with intensity.
“Does that feel good, baby?” He asked as he thrusted into you once again. Your breath hitched as you felt a wave of pleasure course through your body.
“Bucky…” you whimpered, your eyes staring into his. “Do that again. Please!”
You let out a little “ah!” when he began a steady pace, his hips rolling into yours expertly, his cock hitting deeper and deeper inside of you.
Bucky looked so fucking gorgeous. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him no matter how hand you had tried. It’s as if his moans and gasps were enough to make you orgasm.
His lips were red and swollen from the kisses you had given him, but you didn’t care. You wanted nothing more than to make them even more swollen. His hair -jesus, it was wild just like you liked it.
His shoulders flexed each time he fucked you, giving you a show of his muscular body. One of your hands trailed down his back, resting onto his perfect little ass and gave it a small pinch.
He gasped, his eyes flying open and peering down at you with a grin. “You’re such a dirty girl, Y/N.” he spoke, sending your heart soaring through the sky.
You curiously looked down between your bodies. You let out a moan as you watched his cock entering your core, glistening with your juices. His skin hitting against yours only made it even more dirty and you yearned to hear it as much as you could.
You spread your legs wider, gently pulling Bucky into you with your hands on his lower back. You were in pure euphoria, and you wanted this every single day. Even if you had to quit your job, you’d gladly do it for a session with Bucky. It was so addicting.
“Oh my god!” you gasped, feeling your thighs trembling uncontrollably. You felt the strangest sensation between your legs, building deep within your body and spreading like wildfire. Your breaths became shaky little huffs as you felt yourself growing closer and closer to the edge.
Bucky was lost in you.
He was staring down at you, his lips curled into that loving smile he wore as he rolled his hips into you forcefully. The headboard of his bed slammed against his wall, creating small dents in it, but you both didn’t give a single care.
“That’s it, baby girl,” he moaned, his lips parting as he fucked you harder. “You’re so fucking wet for me.”
You dug your nails into his back, resting your head onto his shoulder as his hips began to stutter. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you as he picked up his pace. A thin layer of sweat began to form on the two of you, but neither of you cared.
“Fuck, I-I think I’m….” You whimpered, feeling your body tense as the euphoric feeling began releasing throughout your body, shaking you to your core. You through your head back onto the pillows, letting out a blood curdling scream as Bucky fucked your first orgasm into you. Your mouth was open, forming a perfect little ‘O’.
Bucky’s hand went to your breast, kneading the soft flesh softly as he watched you release. He was so close behind you, he could feel himself growing closer and closer within each second. With a shout of your name, Bucky rested his head against yours and released himself into the condom, his body collapsing on top of yours.
You peered up at him with a smile, analyzing his blissed out face. He looked so beautiful like this, his hair messy and his eyes screwed shut from the immense pleasure you were giving him. You raised your hand and cupped his cheek.
“How was that, doll?” he huffed, his eyes half lidded as he gave you that dorky smile. You giggled, feeling nothing but pure love for him.
“That was…amazing, Bucky.” You replied. “I want this every day. I don’t care how tired I am.”
He let out a laugh, planting a kiss onto your cheek before rolling onto his back. He turned his back to you, reaching over for the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand and plucking one from the packet. He placed it between his lips before lighting it with the lighter he always carried around with him.
With a sigh, he rolled over until he was facing you. He propped himself up onto his elbow, giving you a boyish grin.
“So,” he began, taking a drag of the cigarette. You giggled and peered up at him, still lying on your back.
“So,” you repeated with a grin.
Before he could speak, a small piece of the ash from his cigarette, landing right onto your bare shoulder.
“Shit!” He spat, before reaching behind himself and putting the cigarette out in the ash tray.
You yelped before brushing the ash from your skin. It burned like hell.
“Are you alright, Y/N?” he asked, his eyes filled with worry. You nodded, sinking into the bed with a contempt sigh. , but you wouldn’t let that ruin your mood. You were still buzzing from the most intense orgasm he had given you.
You peered up at him, giving him a million dollar smile.
“i’m just peachy, baby.”
*squeals* now we know how that whole thing went down ;)
Summary: You and Seth have been playing this game for months now with neither of you truly admitting your feelings for one another. Though, now that you’ve been called up to the main roster from NXT, some things are going to have to change.
A/N: I have no idea if Seth Rollins is actually allergic to peaches or not, but like if he was, that would honestly be torture because I fricken love peaches and he’d really be missing out on the best fruit ever.
“Brought you, your favorite, regular Peach Beach with vitamin
blend and whey protein enhancers”.
“Ugh, Lopez, you are far too good to me”.
“Hey, don’t say I never gave you anything”.
Gladly, you reach for the smoothie cup placed on the table in
front of you and stick the straw between your lips. Seth Rollins - who was
always the people pleaser - stands across the table with his arms crossed over
his chest, patiently waiting for that sigh of content that always comes from
your mouth after gulping down the first sip of your favorite drink. Soon
enough, the cold liquid slides down your throat and you move the straw from
your mouth, throwing your head back, and letting out a long, satisfying
“God, I can’t believe you’re allergic to peaches, you are seriously
missing out on the best fruit”.
“Eh, I’m more of a pineapple guy myself really.”, Seth shrugs
with a growing smirk to match his teasing behavior.
The first part to this novella received such incredible feedback and a generous amount of notes; I am honestly so thrilled that people enjoyed the first section of it. I really am. You guys are absolutely amazing and I love you. I know I suck when it comes to writing angsty, fight/argument scenes so I’m really glad you all enjoyed it and took time to read it.
This chapter - and probably part 4, as well - is a filler section. Not as lengthy, not as long, not as detailed. I think I underestimated some things in this series and probably could have squeezed it into three sections… Haha.
The first time you ever really remember looking in the mirror and understanding what you could see was when you were six. You’d wandered into your parents’ bedroom and stood in front of the wooden, full-length mirror in front of the window. You had jumped at the reflection. On one side sat an older boy, he must have been at least thirteen –maybe fourteen. His hair was dark, pitch black and he had a short block fringe that now, you imagine he regrets. His wide nose reminded you of a cat or a lion and in that moment he had it scrunched up, showing displeasure. You didn’t think he was beautiful then, but adorable in his pubescent state and teenage angst.
Your eyebrows had furrowed taking in the other side, a much younger boy than the other but still older than you – probably eight. This boy exuded adorable, down to his bright, shy smile that reminded you of a bird to his nose that seemed too big for his face and his mop of dark hair. You had never been more confused. The distinct split between the two scenes was clear. Your excitement overwhelmed you. You had two soulmates.
After that it was never a good thing. Your parents hadn’t believed you, it was unheard of and everyone from then on decided you were an attention seeker. Your parents begged you to ‘grow out of it’ to ‘stop making stuff up’. People at school were relentless with their gossiping and labeled you a greedy slut all because of what you saw in the mirror.
Despite that, you couldn’t stop loving the boys in the mirror. Watching them grow older they became so beautiful. The elder first, as he changed his hair with a fierce undercut and various colours over the years (although you had your favourites), his jawline grew sharper and his features maturing from the nerdish boy you used to see. He thinned down but still had lean muscle that helped him with his basketball career; you love to watch him play. His air of dominance juxtaposes with his playfulness that you crave to have love you. Then the younger, his nose grew into his face and suited him well as he became a man. He hasn’t lost his boyish charm, his shyness that you want to protect; the softness of his pout paired with his curious gaze. The skinny figure was gone, replaced with thick thighs, biceps and from the times you had caught him in the shower muscles galore. They were fucking hot and you want them in every way possible.
You need your soulmates more than anyone, desire them in such a way that burns you to feel the need so fiercely. For once, when you meet your soulmates, you would find the only two people in the world who would believe you and the only two people who could prove everyone wrong.
When you were eighteen you moved out and moved far away from people who knew about your soulmates. You took your best friend, the only person you really gave a shit about and vice versa and moved together to an apartment in Seoul.
Your nikes slap against the floor of the corridor as you make your way to your class. It’s your first day at college and you’re already fucking late unsurprisingly. You pull your backpack over your other shoulder and burst into the lecture hall for musical composition, stopping the professor mid sentence and causing the entire class to turn and look at you. You’re just about to spout out your apologies when your mouth drops. The mop of hair turned his head too, this time its lighter –he’s seemed to prefer it like that as he’s grown older-. He’s fucking gorgeous. You don’t even take a second to tell if he’s noticed who you are you just take the seat nearest to you and take a deep fucking breath because holy shit it’s happening.
The professor starts talking again but you can’t hear a word of it. You unzip your bag fumbling for your compact mirror that you cant seem to find no matter how much noise you make, catching the attention of people near you. You almost begin to cry when you find it and you have to clasp a hand over your mouth to stop yourself when you open it. On one side see the bright lights of the hall and the wooden rows and you just can’t fucking believe he’s here. The relief swamps you, drowns you. Finally.
Needless to say the class fucking drags. You don’t care about anything coming out of that professor’s mouth and every second is like days as you stare at your compact and try to hold your emotions in. When the professor announces that the lecture is over those are the only words you hear and you scramble further to the front towards your youngest soulmate, nervous yet elated.
He’s packing away his things and he doesn’t seem to be tense at all indicating he didn’t see you. You shuffle through the row towards his desk and touch him on the shoulder. ‘Hi.’ you say nervously. It’s an underwhelming greeting but your mind is spinning so fast you can’t bring yourself to care. The mop of brown looks up at you and his face falls. ‘I’m y/n,’ you say shyly ‘I’m your soul mate.’ He shakes from your grasp.
‘Leave me alone, please.’ He says firmly and the sweet, shy boy you saw in the mirror seems lost in that moment.
‘Huh?’ you’re so fucking confused. This is not the moment you dreamed about. What the fuck is this?
‘I don’t want anything to do with him and consequently, you. So please, leave me alone.’ He’s so curt he hardly even sounds angry and that scares you more -like you couldn’t change his mind if you put a gun to his head.
‘I don’t understand. You mean our soulmate?’ you ask, bewildered. He grits his teeth and cringes.
‘He will never be my soulmate.’ He spits. ‘I’m not a fucking faggot.’ The beautiful boy with the adorable smile and the thick thighs turns the other way and gets the fuck out of there.
You slump into the section of the bench he had just evacuated. The room is empty, all the students have gone and all you can care to do is sit and cry.
You drag yourself home after a while, feeling pathetic and feeling like your world has come crashing down –it has and it’s painful. Once you reach your apartment door you reach in your pocket for your keys only to drop them on the floor and you sigh and lean against the wall for support as tears still slip down your cheeks. You wipe them quickly, bend down to pick up your keys and unlock the door. Bags flung to the floor, you shuffle towards your room feeling broken.
'Y/n! How was your- oh shit.’ your best friend Hyunmi rounds the corner before noticing your tear-stained face.
Yeah, oh shit.’ you reply
‘What happened?’ she breathes pulling you close as you begin to heave with sobs.
'I found him, Hyunmi. The youngest, with the bunny teeth and th- the pretty arms but h- he doesn’t want me.’ your chest hurt as you let out yet another sob and Hyunmi could do nothing but stroke you hair as you cried.
You hadn’t looked in the mirror for the past week. Dreading being reminded of your soulmate who shredded your dreams. You wanted to look, to try and find some shred of hope that he gave a shit but you were haunted by the encounter. Hyunmi was trying her best to comfort you but with you being the more outgoing one she was struggling to get you to leave your bedroom let alone the apartment.
You lay on your bed, curtains shut with the glare of your laptop in front of you when Hyunmi decides that she’s had e-fucking-nough.
Y/n get up.’ She orders, entering the room without a knock.
‘I don’t want to.’ You reply, not even glancing at her.
‘Y/N Y/L/N, you have another beautiful soulmate who’s waiting out in the world for you and for god’s sake you don’t want to end up missing out on him too so get the fuck up.’
‘It’s not that fucking simple Hyunmi. What if he doesn’t want me either? What if the same shit happens?’ You argue.
‘What kind of crappy excuse is that? That’s not you. That’s not who you are. You fight for what you want. You take risks. You owe it to yourself to try. Don’t argue with me on this just because you’re scared.’ She retaliates. It’s the first time you’ve seen her stand up to anyone and assert herself. You realize quickly if you’d pushed her to that point then you need to listen to her.
‘Okay.’ You breathe.
‘Okay?’ She questions. Shocked that your stubborn ass would actually back down from your standpoint.
‘You’re right.’ You acknowledge.
‘I love you.’ She says.
‘Yeah, I love you too.’ You smile weakly.
A few days later you’re doing your best, you’ve been looking in the mirror again and although you know you shouldn’t all your hope is entrusted in the elder. You hope his years have taken away the childishness the younger displayed and you’re suddenly more desperate to find him than ever. To have someone smooth over the chaos your other soulmate has left. You stare at him, practicing in the court, going out for drinks and the need for him is stronger than it has ever been.
Today you have musical composition and you feel sick at the thought. You plan to get there early, hoping to take a seat at the very front so that you don’t even have to look at the back of his head. You’re practically running through campus to try and get there and when you reach it you’re twenty minutes early. You ease the large door open gently in order to peer inside and upon seeing the empty hall you let out a sigh of relief. You take a seat in the front and try to calm yourself down as you remember the rejection and hurt that ripped through you last time you were here.
You bend down to reach your bag and get out your equipment when you hear the door open and you lift your head up to look at the intruder.
‘Oh… I… I’m sorry.’ It’s him. Your heart feels like it’s breaking all over again, just like that.
‘I guess we had the same idea.’ You state, unsure of how to feel or act. He didn’t seem so angry this time around. You get up and approach him tentatively.
‘I- I’m sorry y/n. I don’t want it to be like this. I’m a good guy. I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you.’ He says like he’s needed to say it for a long time.
‘I need you.’ You reply, wishing that you weren’t the kind of person who spouted out your feelings so honestly.
‘Fuck. I can’t do it. I gotta go.’ He says, seeming conflicted. He turns to go but you grab his arm feeling the veins you’d always admired when you’d seen him working out. He winces as you do so, like he can feel the bond that pulls you together like magnets.
‘Please, wait,’ you don’t know how to convince him ‘like… fuck, can I at least know your name or something?’ He shakes you off.
‘If things were different, I think I could love you.’ And it’s then that you’re reminded of the shy little boy you used to watch giggle on the floor as he played with his anime figurines.
‘But you can. You can.’ You urge.
‘Not with him.’
‘But he’s beautiful and strong an- and determined.’ You say as tears begin to build in your eyes.
‘I know.’ And he says it so softly that you feel as if you’ve overheard a private moment that he didn’t intend for you to know about, for anyone to know about. He turns to leave and you can’t stop him as you’re stunned by his words that contrast so much to how he’s been acting. Just before he opens the door to leave he turns back, a single tear slipping down his face. ‘My name’s Jungkook.’ and then he’s gone again.
A/N: Ahh I hope everyone enjoyed this! This is my first story so I’d love feedback and I promise there will be smut and Yoongi in the next chapter, which will be coming soon.
Okay so a while ago, I
was having many deep and meaningfuls with the lovely
@ellieartcave and we both emphatically agreed that there was
something sorely lacking in Mystic Messenger… an ending where V lived. While she came up with
something different but just as awesome, for me the only thing that made sense and still work canonically is for the other Deep Route boy- my baby Juju- to have a secret
the very rough, very vague notes that I’ve taken in regards to what I was
planning to do over the span of 7-10 chapters… but with what seems to be the V route/content coming up… I felt that my story would no longer be necessary… but I still wanted to share it :)
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 Words: 7.6k Genre: Angst, Multiple Personality!Au Summary: Jeon Jungkook is a puzzle with too many missing pieces from his past and too many sides. Somehow, it’s become your job to solve him. → Inspired by the Korean Drama - Kill Me Heal Me Warnings: Topics of mental health. Mentions of death, suicide and medical disorders. Disclaimer: Although this piece of work required lots of in-depth research and was attempted to be as accurate as possible, at the end of the day, I am not a psychologist and this is fanfiction. Specific things may be altered or exaggerated for story-telling purposes. Please take all medical terminologies and procedures with a grain of salt.
It reminds you of the eerie jack-o’-lanterns that haunted you as a child every Halloween. It reminds you of the sour citrus your mother used to give you, the carrots you used to dig out of your soup, your pet goldfish that you had to flush down the toilet once it died, the basketballs that hit your face and gave you a bleeding nose.
As an adult, you still hate the colour orange - especially because when he’s wearing it.
It was difficult to feel alive in the world today.
The world was a cold, desolated place where dreamers simply couldn’t exist. It was really a cemetery, a graveyard filled with unfulfilled dreams of the young and old. It wasn’t a place for any friends either, only acquaintances, nothing more.
There was no we or us, there was only I and me, for in this world, there were only survivors and they didn’t crawl their way to the top of the food chain together with others. In the end, the only person that mattered was them and they would throw anyone off the ladder if necessary.
It didn’t come as a surprise. Humanity was doomed from the start, it was inevitable. The human race was bound to topple their own grand empire that they had built. All the cruelest, most despicable things in this world derived from humanity. There’s no place for this dying species in this universe. We had sinned too far to ever redeem ourselves.
Now everyone’s simply trying to find their own happiness, a temporary bliss they could indulge in until they get sick of it and move onto their next interest.
You had seen it in action, experienced first hand. There was no such thing as happiness in this place, not true happiness. Something always happened, as if the universe was designed to fuck with you. It was a consequence of being born and adding to this plague called humanity. But like everyone else, you tried your best to survive. Only survive. You had given up trying to find any lasting happiness in this sick world. What was the point? When it was torn from you, the only person that get the burn would be you.
You admit you never used to be like this. You had been happy, joyful… but innocent. And you were so in love. You were blinded by the driving force of nature and oh how it had ruined you to the point of no return. Your heart was a desolate wasteland where nothing thrived. You gave it no rain, you barricaded it, all because of him.
There used to be someone. Used to be, for he was long gone. He was reckless, impulsive, perhaps a little too daring at times, but bravery and determination ran through his veins. He was a hero, not just your hero but also the hero of others.
He was the second Robin, Jason Peter Todd.
When he came into your life, he instantly swept you off your feet. At first that was a quite bad term for you saw him as a hurricane that tore everything apart. Since you two were on opposite sides most times–you being Catwoman’s ‘apprentice’ and all–you two faced each other regularly, but those fights turned to bickers, and bickers turned into banters and it formed the strangest friendship.
Most of the time, you would play around with him while your mentor had her way with Batman. Sometimes you would sneak out to meet him on the roof. There were times when you even sneaked into the manor to spend time with him, and since you were good friends with Alfred, of course he had let you in.
You allowed yourself to fall. You allowed your heart to feel and love, because it gave you such happiness.
You should’ve known it was too good to be true.
There was no pain greater than what you felt when your mentor informed you of his death.
At first there was that numbness in your chest. You weren’t in denial, you were in shock and couldn’t comprehend anything. And then when you were left alone, that was when you finally realized what the news meant. Then the tears came, and it wouldn’t stop.
It was on that night that you had stopped loving, for what was the use of such emotion when everything would end?
Yet even when you tell yourself that, here you were, standing in front of the grave of the second Robin years later.
“Hey there boy wonder,” you whispered, crouching in front of the grave and placing the bouquet of flowers you bought him, “yeah it’s me again. Got bored of me yet?” You had been visiting him at least once a week, making sure that, if he was ever watching, he knew he was remembered.
You fully sat down, crossing your legs and closed your eyes, remaining silent. When you first visited him, you used to always cry, and then try to talk to him about your day. Now though, while the pain lingered, you didn’t break down. You refused to, you couldn’t show such weakness. Usually you would sit there, thinking. It was peaceful and those who do come by knew not to disturb you.
Your trained ears picked up footsteps behind you after several minutes of silence but you made no attempts to turn around or look back. You knew whoever it was, they would leave–unless of course, it was one of the Waynes or Selina.
“Red roses? Classy.”
Your eyes shot open at that voice. There was something…. Frighteningly familiar about it, and deep down you could identify the person but your heart didn’t want to believe it. You weren’t going to give yourself that benefit.
Still, you began to shake as you slowly stood up and turned around.
And there he was, looking very much alive.
Jason Peter Todd had changed a lot. His young features matured greatly and his blue eyes were colder, haunted. He definitely grew taller, much taller, not to mention he was a lot more muscular. There was a streak of white in his hair. However, despite the change, all you could see was the boy you sat on the rooftop talking to for hours and hours on end.
“No… no, this can’t be right.” you shook your head, feeling tears in your eyes despite how much you tried to fight them back.
“Hey, [F/N],” he began, noticing your mood, “ it’s me. It’s Jason.” he insisted, stepping closer, only for you to recoil.
“NO!” you shouted, raising your hand to keep distance. “Get out of my sight, right now.” You tried to sound firm but you couldn’t disguise the crack in your voice.
Jason’s brows furrowed in confusion but his eyes showed a hint of anger. “What?”
“You heard me.” you said coldly, though your voice wavered. “Whoever you are, whatever sick joke you’re playing, leave, before I do something that I will very much regret.”
“[F/N], you think I’m some trick?!” Jason demanded, “hey, I’m real. It’s really me, somehow! Look, I can explain later but–”
“No! You are not…” you closed your eyes and began to pace, “you are not allowed to just magically come back to life! No, no this is some fucked up prank. It has to be. This can’t be happening right now.”
Growing frustrated and agitated by how stubborn you were being, Jason grabbed you by the shoulders. “Look! Look at me! Do I look like an illusion or some impostor?”
“You have to be because there is no other explanation!”
“No, you can’t!” You pushed him away, causing him to stumble back. “You can’t… you can’t…” You sounded so defeated, so torn and broken. It was as if the adrenaline had left you and you were struggling for breath.
“Can’t what?” Jason urged, wanting to know why you were pushing him away like this. The person he was seeing here was a great contrast from the girl he used to know, and that broke his heart.
“You can’t just come back to life and act like nothing happened! You’re not allowed to do that!” Your emotions were all jumbled up inside you and you didn’t know what to feel. Everything you had kept buried inside you was bursting out and it was a storm of emotions that you couldn’t control. It was suffocating you and controlling your actions. Seeing him in front of you reopened closed wounds that barely healed in the first place.
“Shouldn’t you be happy?!” Jason demanded, shocked and confused by your reaction.
“How?!” you retorted, throwing your arms up in the air. “How can I be happy?! This isn’t happiness, happiness isn’t so fucking painful!”
“Painful?” Jason repeated, “do I have to remind you that I was the one who died, not you?”
Hearing this, hearing him say it so easily, you lost it. You lost every ounce of control you had and everything that came out of your mouth was nothing but the absolute truth.
“And do I have to remind you that you haven’t truly died until you have someone you loved taken away from you?!” you yelled back at him, rendering him speechless. Before he could respond, you continued with tears streaming down your face, “for you it may’ve ended in death, but for me? Death was just the beginning,” your voice wasn’t raised, nor was it a whisper, it was a deadly calm that expressed your full emotions, as if the tears falling down your face wasn’t enough already, “because then you remember, you remember all the good times and mourn for them. You remember all the bad times and you regret. And when you wake up every day for one blissful second you forget and then it all comes back to you and it’s like hearing about it the very first time all over again. So don’t you dare tell me that I hadn’t died because believe me, I hadn’t felt alive since the day that clown killed you.”
By the end of it, you were crying so hard you could barely see, but you did feel strong arms wrapping around you. You did feel him pulling you close to his chest, letting you cry, but that only made you cry harder.
Because, after years of being alone, you finally got the chance to embrace the one person you loved most again.
remember the day I started to lose my hearing. I remember it because
two things had happened the day before; I’d received a particularly
painful numbing injection at the dentist’s office prior to having some
work done and my daughter was raped and left for dead in a dumpster just
outside her college campus.
We got the call at 4 AM. Being woken like that, by a shrill ringing
in the otherwise still and quiet dark, is something no one should have
to experience. You know before you pick up that something has happened,
that something life changing is about to be dropped in your lap, and all
you can do is answer.
Summary: After a
nightmare about your ex, you start to rethink what happened in your relationship
and try to get some closure.
Paring: Bucky x
Warnings: Aganst, All
flashbacks are in italic and there is some fuffly lost in there.
A/N: So this fic is
extremely personal, I never wrote anything like this so I hope you enjoy.
not even thank you enough this time @drinkfantasy , you rock and I love you
wake up, sweat all over your body and with your heart pounding in your chest.
For a few seconds your mind try to understand what just happened, than you
know. You just had a nightmare, not just any nightmare but one with your
of the nightmare are useless, the only thing that matters is that he was there
in your mind… again. It was normal for you to have nightmares; you used to have
them all the time when growing up, as an adult they were less frequent but more
brutal and they are usually about Bucky.
Hey everyone! I hope you all have been liking what I’ve been writing. You can message me with feedback, requests, or even just a simple hi to have a conversation. enjoy!
Sidenote: I continued this into a series. You can find the rest of the chapters here , along with my other pieces.
Description: Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.
Warnings: sad, angst, unintentional physical harm comes to the reader, nightmares, ptsd, barely any fluff
The night was cool and even through the closed window you could hear the passing of honking cars in the busy street. You’d become accustomed to it, it no longer interrupted you sleeping schedule. The apartment you lived in was shared with your adoring boyfriend, Bucky.
Getting into this relationship, Steve wanted to remind you that because of what was going on in his brain during his H.Y.D.R.A. days, that it could manifest itself back into him without any trigger. He described Bucky as, “a bomb just waiting to go off.” You could tell it hurt Steve to have to describe his best friend that way.
People were giving you the whole spiel about “how you can’t change people”, that “he’s never going to be a normal person.” Even Bucky was scared for you, he didn’t want to put you in harms way.
But, you were headstrong. You loved Bucky with all your heart. You knew what he could do. The thing was, you weren’t afraid. You weren’t scared of him. You never were.
Bucky was haunted with vivid nightmares about the awful torture and killing he had been through and done. Almost every night he relived through something different. Sometimes, they were so realistic that he would get on top of you and restrain you, cursing you in his sleep. This was a normal occurrence when he had nightmares of the doctors that tore apart his mind.
He would always wake up of no recollection of what happened, and you never told him. All he remembered was the nightmare itself. You didn’t want to make him feel guilty, it didn’t bother you actually. You knew what he went through was traumatizing, so you never blamed him for what happened when he was in his sleep.
It was a beautiful Sunday morning and you woke up next to your most favorite person in the world. Bucky was sound asleep, his arm wrapped around you, his scruff brushing your bare shoulder.
You raised your arm behind you to run your fingers through his hair and you felt him smile against your skin.
“Good morning babe.” His raspy voice breaking the silence. You loved the way he sounded right after he woke up.
“Good morning Bucky.” You chuckled as he placed an array of kisses along your shoulder, neck, and face. “Hey, I’m gonna take a shower. Then I’ll make us breakfast, okay?” You rolled over onto him, both of you giggling, his hands on your back. The coolness of his metal arm sending shivers up your spine.
“You’re gonna leave me here in the absence of your warmth? How could you?” He had a huge smile on his tired face as you leaned down and kissed him one last time before making your way to the bathroom.
You turned on the water and stripped off your crinkled pajamas. Before you got in, you saw yourself in the mirror out of the corner of you eye. Turning towards the mirror, you saw yourself in full for the first time in a long time. You realized in that moment how much your body was covered in bruises; new and old. Your hips and ribs slightly blue and purple from when Bucky gripped you hard during a nightmare that scared him to tears. Your thighs were expressing the same coloration and your arms had little scratches from his fingernails where he had dug them into you. You never noticed them before. You weren’t angry or upset, you understood this is what came with the nightmares he had.
“F/N, I hope you don’t mind if I join you for your shower.” He opened the door with a smirk on his face. “I’d like to love you some m-” he stopped mid-sentence as he looked up and saw your naked body and all the marks on it. “Baby, what’s- what happened?” You turned to face him and him placed his hands on your shoulders. You didn’t make any attempt to cover them up, he already saw. You just had to find the words to tell him. “Tell me. Why do you have all these bruises… a-and scratches?” He spoke softly, but his voice with filled with concern.
“Bucky.. it’s fine. I’m okay.” You gave him a shy smile as you looked up at him. His gaze fluttered up and down your body. “Bucky..” You didn’t know what to tell him, or even how.
A sudden realization hit Bucky and it felt he took a blow to the gut. “I- I did this..” He voice cracked and the hurt in it made you wince. “I did this.. didn’t I?” The thought of him hurting you and damaging your beautiful body brought tears to his eyes.
The water was still running, but you ignored it. “I’m okay. I know you don’t mean it. We’re going to be okay. I love you. That’s all that matters to me. I love you so god damn much, that guess what? I’m willing to go through this pain with you.” You pulled his forehead down to yours, gripping the front of his t-shirt to bring him down to you.
“I’m so sorry F/N. I’m- I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I can’t believe I did this. It won’t ever happen again.” At the point Bucky was sobbing, holding onto you for support.
He was so upset, and you were his support system. You placed a kiss on his lips and helped him undress. You helped him get into the shower as he was stumbling from the emotional pain. There was no love making. You helped him wash his hair, having the water just warm enough to feel calming against his skin. He was silent as you wrapped yourself in a towel went into the bedroom to grab some clothes for you both.
When you returned to the bathroom he was out of the shower, looking at the ground. You got him dressed and brought him back to bed. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to make some coffee, just the way you like it.” You kissed him on his head and gave him a sad smile. As you were turning away, he gently held your hand and didn’t let go.
“Don’t go… please.” He whispered at you with hurt eyes. It made you feel so broken inside.
“Okay.. I won’t go anywhere.” You climbed back into bed with him and snuggled up to his chest. “I’m never going to leave you. We’re gonna be okay.”
He whispered into your hair, “F/N, I’m sorry.” You told him how happy you were with him and that things were going to get better. The soft fabric against your skin and the warmth of your bodies brought both of you back to sleep.
As you fell asleep, all you could think of was that everything was going to turn out alright. You loved and trusted Bucky and that was all that mattered.
The door of your room flew
open and your mother stormed in, face clouded with worry.
“You need to pack,
quickly. We have to leave.”
“What? What are you
talking about, mother?”
“The great heathen army,
they will be here soon. Your step-father wasn’t able to stop them.”
You sat down on your bed,
overwhelmed by contradictory feelings. The great heathen army. You
knew Ivar was with them. Almost a year had passed since you had last
seen him. And now they would come here. You were terrified, but at
the same time excited, hoping for a chance to see him again. Ever
since he had left, the viking prince had haunted your dreams. You
longed to feel his hands on your skin again, his lips on yours. You
knew those were sinful thoughts but you couldn’t help yourself.
“Common, we have no time
to waste!” Your mother’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts.
“I want to stay here.”
The words were out before your mind had fully comprehended what they
Your mother looked at you
as if had lost your mind. “You can’t stay here. Haven’t you
heard what I just said? The vikings are coming, everyone is leaving.”
You got up from the bed
and took your mother’s hands. “I love you, mother. But I have to
For a few more moments she
stared at you in total disbelief, but then the expression on her face
changed into a knowing smile. “This is about the son of Ragnar
Lothbrok, isn’t it?”
You pressed your lips
together, not wanting to give yourself away but you had never been
able to hide anything from her.
“Don’t think I don’t
know. I heard you sneak out of your chamber every night when he was
here. And I saw the way you said goodbye to him when he left.”
“I…” You trailed
Your mother put her hands
on both sides of your face. “Do you love him?”
You took a deep breath,
then looked into her eyes. “Yes, I do.”
She nodded. A small smile
played around her mouth but there was also an undeniable sadness in
her eyes. “Then you should stay.”
You looked at her, almost
love you more than anything in this world and I want nothing more
than to know you are save.” She continued. “But if you love this
man, I have no right to keep you away from him. You have changed
after he left. You’ve become so quiet and I can see how much you
miss him. I want to see you happy. I want to see you smile again. Go
and follow your heart. I can only pray that you are making the right
decision and that god will protect you while I can’t.”
A single tear ran down her
cheek and she tried her best to smile at you. “Well, at least he is
You could feel her pain
and how much it cost her to let you go. Never in your whole life had
you been so grateful.
She wrapped her arms
around you. “I love you, my child.”
“I love you too,
Your mother was still
holding you close to her as your step-father entered the room.
“What is going on in
here? I thought you were packing.”
Your mother slowly let go
of you, facing your step-father. “Y/N will stay here with your
“What are you talking
about? She cannot stay here. There will be no one here to protect
“And still it is her
“Why would she…. Wait!
Please tell me this is not about the son of Ragnar Lothbrok.”
You looked at your mother
and could read your own surprise mirrored on her face.
“Do you two think I am
stupid? I was there that day when she disgraced herself in front of
everyone by letting that pagan savage put his hands on her.”
Your mother stepped
forward and put her hand on his arm. “She has made her decision.”
He shook his head. “You
are mad. Both of you. Do you really want to give her to a viking? To
our enemy? I have seen him on the battlefield. Many good Christians
died because of him. My father made a huge mistake to release him and
now you are making another mistake thinking he would not harm her. He
will have his way with her and then kill her. Is that what you want
for her? Because I will not allow it.”
“It’s not your
decision to make. She is my daughter, not yours.”
“It is good that you
remind me how you disgraced both of us. She turned out just like you,
Your mother stubbornly
raised her chin. “I will not force her into a marriage she does not
want, making her unhappy for the rest of her life.”
He snorted. “Than do
what you want. But I promise you, this will not end well for her.”
With that he turned and
You knew that what you
were doing was more than dangerous, reckless most would say. If the
other vikings would stumble across you before you could find Ivar,
they would probably kill you, or even worse. You had found a place on
a hayloft from where you could overlook the whole yard through the
gaps between the planks without being seen yourself.
As the heavy gate burst
open your heart began to race. There was no way to back out of this
now. You watched as the vikings stormed into the yard. More and more
of them poured through the gate but you hadn’t made out Ivar yet.
There were hundreds of them, wild looking men, dressed in fur and
leather. They were carrying swords or axes and their faces were
smeared with blood. You felt a cold shiver go down your spine and a
hint of doubt rose deep inside you. Maybe you had been naive to think
you could just walk through them and right into Ivar’s arms. But then
you saw him. He came through the gates in a chariot. Most of his face
was hidden by a helmet but you knew it could only be him. He stopped
his horse not far from where you were hiding. As he took off his
helmet you gasped in shock. He too was covered in blood. His
beautiful face was hard as stone and his blue eyes icy and cold. He
radiated wildness and brutality and in this moment you feared him
like you feared all the others. You wondered if you had known the men
who’s blood was now smeared across his face and a sick feeling grew
inside your stomach. The words of your step-father echoed through
your head. Many good Christians died because of him. My father
made a huge mistake to release him and now you are making another
mistake thinking he would not harm her.
he have been right? You were sure that the Ivar you knew would never
do anything to harm you but the Ivar you saw down in the yard seemed
like a whole different person. You had no idea what to think, let
alone to do anymore. As desperation overwhelmed you, you pulled your
knees to your chest, wrapped your arms around them and quietly began
had no idea how much time had passed. You sat with your back leaned
against the planks, face still wet from the tears. You hated yourself
for being stupid enough to stay here and for being to scared to do
anything now. A small part of you still wanted to find Ivar, still
hoped that what you had seen was just a bad dream, but the biggest
part of you was scared to death and didn’t dare to move. You wouldn’t
have known where to look for him now anyways.
You startled as you heard
heavy steps on the stairs leading up to the hayloft. Full of panic
you looked around but there was no place to hide. Terrified, you
watched as the door was opened and a large man came in. As his gaze
fell upon you, an evil smile appeared on his face. You couldn’t help
but let out a terrified scream as you tried to crawl backwards, away
from him. But the loft was small and you didn’t get any far. As he
came closer to you he said something in his own tongue you didn’t
understand. He leaned down to you and you tried to push him away but
he easily caught your arm and twisted it down hard. You gasped in
pain and tried to slide away from him but his grip on your arm was
merciless. With his other hand he reached for the neckline of your
dress in order to rip it off you but stopped in the middle of his
actions as you heard familiar voice from behind him. You couldn’t
understand the words but the tone was clear and commanding. The man
let go of you and turned to face Ivar. You held your breath as an
angry conversation evolved between the two. You had no way of telling
what they were saying but it seemed like they would attack each other
at any moment. After a while Ivar demonstratively pulled an ax from
his belt and looked at the other man with challenging eyes. For a few
heartbeats the other stared back at him, his hand at the grip of his
sword, but then he just grunted and turned to leave.
As you heard his steps on
the stairs Ivar turned to look at you. You cast your eyes down,
avoiding his gaze. He waited a few seconds for you to look at him but
as you didn’t he lost his patience and crawled over to you.
“Are you hurt?“ He
asked and reached out his hand to you.
You slid away from him
before he could touch you and cowered into a corner of the loft. For
a moment you thought he would follow you but he didn’t. He leaned his
back against the wall and looked at you.
“What is wrong?“
You took a short glimpse
at him from the corner of your eye. He looked genuinely hurt by your
“Y/N, please tell me
what is wrong.“
You slowly looked up to
meet his gaze and despite everything felt the familiar tingle in your
stomach as your eyes met his. He had washed the blood off his face
and his features were as calm and beautiful as you remembered. His
hair was longer now and there was a long scar on his cheekbone, that
hadn’t been there before, but other than that he looked exactly like
the Ivar you knew. But then you remembered his cold eyes and bloody
face you had seen earlier. Conflicting feeling swirled around in your
He still looked at you,
waiting for your response.
“You…. You have killed
so many.“ You pressed out and took a deep breath to calm yourself
down. “I have known these people. I have lived with them, I have
talked to them…“ You trailed off.
Ivar nodded slowly. “I
can understand that you are angry…“
“I am not angry.“ You
interrupted him. “I am scared. I am scared of you, of what you have
done and of what you will do in the future.“
“I don’t want you to be
scared of me. I never wanted to do anything to hurt you. But I had to
avenge my father. I told you that I would come back to do so. And you
knew that bloodshed would be involved but still you are here. Why did
you not leave like all the others?”
“I’m still here because
I wanted to be with you. I thought we could find a way to make it
work, just like your father said, but now I’m not sure of it
He was silent for a few
seconds and you could see the conflict in his eyes. He was fighting
with himself about something.
“It is your decision to
make.” He finally said. “I want you to come with me. I want you
by my side. But I will not lie to you, this won’t be the last time
that blood was shed.”
He crawled over to you and sat down in front
of you, looking into your eyes. “I promise I will never hurt you or
allow that anyone else does.” He said, offering you his hand.
Very slowly you placed
your small hand in his bigger one.
The smoke lingers in the air only for a short moment before the wind blows the grey cloud away. Absently you wipe away the ash, which is falling on your knee from the cigarette that dangles dangerously between your lips.
loud noise brings you back into the reality. One of the new kids
probably lost a bet and had to activate the fire alarm. It happens quite
burning end of your cigarette lights once more as you inhale the smoke.
You are not even thinking about leaving your favorite spot. The stairs
in front of the back door of the school is a lonely place. Not even
Samuel comes back here very often. It’s your time to be alone for a bit…
door gets pushed open roughly. You are not fast enough to make space
for the hurried visitor. The person bumps into you. “Hey!”, you exclaim
extremely pissed, but your next words get stuck in your throat.
a few inches away lies a gun on the stairs. A real weapon on the
campus. Without a word the boy picks up the gun to shove it back into the safety of his red jacket. Clear blue eyes meet your [E/C] ones. You notice no color in them. Not a sign that these orbs are actually alive. Not a single feeling in them except for pure panic. Just dead blue eyes.
of you says a word, but both of you know you saw the gun. “Want to take
a puff?”, you break the ice cold silence, while you hold out your
cigarette for the boy to grab. Nathan clenches his hands even tighter
into fists. His knuckles are completely white by now.
got your tongue? … Or is the infamous Nathan Prescott afraid of
smoking?”, a slight smirk appears on your lips matching to your mocking
tone. “I don’t even know you!”, his mind is still racing, which results
in being unable to form more than a single stupid sentence.
challenging pose triggers his arrogance. Nathan takes the cigarette
with his free hand. Like you a few moments ago he releases a cold grey
cloud. The two of you stare at each other through the smoky air, which
makes the situation a bit mysterious. You are still waiting for a warning or his usual “I will sue you”-line, but after his first puff he seems more relaxed.
least that’s what his dead blue eyes tell you. “That’s not a
cigarette”, Nathan states after another moment. You give him a slight
shrug, “I never said it’s one.” He doesn’t make attempts to give you back your Mary Jane.
“You know you are chilled more fun, Prescott”, you are ready to continue with your probably shitty day.
Nate grabs your arm to stop you from walking away, “If you say a word
about what you saw I …” Bored you roll your eyes and interrupt him,
“You’ll sue me and my family. Get yourself a few new lines, Prescott.”
Matching to your sarcasm you take back your “cigarette”. It finds its
old spot between your lips as you make your way back to your dorm.
Of course you can feel his blue eyes on you. It’s probably the first time someone spoke back to him like you just did. To
be honest you never saw such lifeless eyes. Somehow you want to fill
them with colors and emotions. Even if you are not sure Nathan makes it
to the day he gets twenty years old with this dangerous lifestyle of his. Such a shame for those beautiful but dead blue eyes…
Nathan grabs the strap
of his camera tighter. Since three people saw him with a gun his mind
is racing nonstop. He almost feels the pressure on his shoulders. It’s
like a weight that drags him down into the darkness.
Nathan stops mid-step as something or better said someone catches his
full attention. You are lying on the grass with your own camera in your
light shines on your [H/C] hair in a certain way that lures him in.
Nate never payed attention to colors and light in pictures, but right
now he feels inspired. There is a need to freeze time with help of a
photo. Not his usual black white ones. A picture that lives because of
Without noticing Nathan comes closer until you notice his presence. “Prescott”,
you greet him still focused on your camera. “[L/N]”, he responses in
the same tone. Not even a bit surprised you raise your head to see what
he wants. The sunlight blinds you for a second so you shield your eyes with your hands to get a better look at him.
It might be the light but he seems more alive for a second. “You did your research. Good but not necessary. I didn’t say a word to anyone about your… toy”, you get back to your work taking more pictures. For a brief moment anger washes over Nathan. Why does his reputation keep haunting him? He is way more than this … at least he was once more than his reputation, but that’s a long time ago.
Insecure Nate wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. His head doesn’t work the way it used to do. Not
a single word comes over his lips. “You are still here, Prescott…”, you
comment his stand by modus amused. Only one glimpse at his face tells
you to keep your sarcasm low.
who rules the whole Blackwell Academy and half of Arcadia Bay, stands
in front of you like a lost puppy. And that’s pretty close to how he
“Make yourself comfortable. Take a puff. You know, chilled more fun”, you give him your Mary Jane, while you release a last grey cloud of smoke. Uncertain about his decision Nate sits down an arm length away from you.
“I don’t bite, Prescott”, he places his camera between you and him to
reduce the distance. It’s just a little move and still he feels a bit
closer to you.
of you disturbs the beautiful silence with lame small talk. The sounds
of the nature mixed with the clicks of your camera is exactly what he needs right now. Nothing bothers him. Not even a single bad thought
tortures him. His reputation stays away. His family stays away.
Everything is perfect even if it’s just a beautiful illusion for a few
you two have done this before you hold out your hand towards him and
Nate gives you back the Mary Jane. Out of the corner of his eyes he
watches your movements closely. The cigarette dangles between your lips.
The smoke that dances around your face in a perfect way. There is
nothing you do differently and still your grey cloud of smoke seems more
alive than his whole body.
Marijuana”, Nate states before he could hold himself back. “Yup, keeps
my sick mind sane. Sometimes I feel like an overflowing sink, but with
drugs I’m just a
colorful sunrise”, you explain as you lay aside your camera. It’s an
unusual explanation, but Nate understands every word you say. Your
Marijuana reminds him of his blue pills he takes sometimes to turn off
rushes through his veins by now. All the time he wished for someone who
understands what he is going through. A person who looks behind his
reputation and his bad poker face. Excited Nathan points at your camera, “I saw a few of your pictures. They are not bad.” And as soon as his self-esteem got pushed it’s beaten down again.
You literally can see
how Nathan realizes what he said a second ago. There is this pure panic
in his eyes again. At least you know what he tried to say, “Well,
thank you. Yours are not bad either… Just a bit colorless. Don’t get me
wrong. I love black and white pictures, but the world is already grey
enough. The most people can’t see the colors around them anymore.”
Nathan’s relieved next words get stuck in his throat as snow starts to fall. “Oh my god! Is that really happening?”, you hold out your hand to catch one of the snowflakes. It’s still pretty warm so why is it snowing? “Let’s take a selfie together to prove what we just saw!”, you exclaim excited like a child, while you grab your camera.
You press your shoulder against his to get both of you onto one picture. Nathan isn’t even near to being ready for a selfie. Your energy and spontaneous way overwhelms him a bit … but in a good way. The picture shows you smiling and Nate being confused.
“Wow, handsome”, you tease him smirking, which makes him blush for a brief moment. “You know; you are not even close to the things people say about you. The most people just don’t you know yet. Hell, you are quite nice … for a Prescott”, you say honestly as you take more pictures of the snowfall.
Nathan’s heart skips a beat just to continue to beat as twice as fast than before. He always was a book with a big unbreakable lock, but you are tearing through his pages and his ink without trouble and fear of what you might find between the lines. You
don’t care about the things he has done or the status of his family. A
day ago you saw him with an effing gun and still say he’s quite nice. How is that even possible?
Nate opens his mouth to reply also something hopefully nice as someone calls his name. Victoria
waves her arm to tell him they have places to be. And the sad reality
caught him again in its darkness. A quiet sigh comes over his lips,
while he turns his head to face you once more.
In the meantime, you got your bag and make your way towards the girl dorms. Against
your sake you throw a last glance over your shoulder just to find
Nathan already looking at you. The lifeless cloud lures him in so you
give him your best smile.
“Stay strong, Prescott.” It won’t be easy to bring him back on track, but he is worth the try…
are hanging out with [Y/N]?”, Victoria states the obvious surprised.
“Yeah, got a problem with that?”, Nathan replies not as rough as he
wished for. “Actually yes”, another voice behind them joins the conversation without their permission.
crosses his arms as the two students turn around to face the security
guard. “I don’t care about your opinion”, Nate is still high on the
colors you spread in your near. Everything inside of him screams for
inner peace and silence.
“Oh, you will, boy. You
are not going to lay a single finger on [Y/N]. She is a lovely girl
with the power to do great things in her future, while your presence is
just like poison. Killing everything nice
in a person. You are toxic and not good for her”, David states fuming.
You remind him of Chloe and he will do everything it costs to keep you
safe from people like Nathan.
looks at said boy waiting for him to defend himself. There is nothing.
It scares Nate how true David’s words are. He only is going to dull your
sparkle and wash away your colors. “You are crazy, old man. Let’s go,
Nate”, Victoria just drags him with her towards the halls of Blackwell.
“I will keep an eye on you, Prescott”, David yells after them.
His words keep playing in Nathan’s head over and over again. They ignite his doubts and those bad thoughts to torture him again. “What’s
wrong with you? Are you scared of this wannabe security guard? Your
father will sue him and his whole family until there is nothing left of
Nathan doesn’t even listen to Victoria anymore. He needs to stay away from you, but how will he manage that?
Matching to the grey sky a few raindrops fall to the ground. The whole scenery is just as depressing as the fact that Kate tries to take her life. “No! Kate!”, you exclaim on the brink of tears. Your heart clenches painfully at the sight of your long-term friend.
She stands on the edge of the rooftop of the Prescott Dormitory. Her arms stretched out ready to jump into the emptiness. Fear paralyzes you completely. Not a single fiber of your body moves to safe Kate from her destiny.
“Do a backflip!”, one of the students
yell through the thick tension you can almost grab with your hands. It
snaps you out of your helplessness. Tears run down your cheeks as you
hit Victoria’s cellphone out of her hand. The anger wells in you like a
volcano. “Are you fucking delirious? That’s a brand new…”, she starts to rant about your action.
“Are you even human?! There is a girl wanting to taker her life because of all of you!”, no
one can feel the pain in your chest. Neither the fear to lose someone
you are really close to. It tears Nathan apart to see you like this.
crying mess and still perfect in every way fighting for the things you
believe in. Victoria keeps arguing about her phone, while your eyes are
glued to the rooftop. There is still hope for a miracle. No one got your
back. No one keeps you company as you go through hell right now.
Nathan gives himself a mentally push to stand by your side. That’s his fault. All of this chaos came alive through his hands. Kate attempting a suicide. You crying your eyes out. David was right all along. His presence is like poison. His touch is toxic. It kills everything around him. He is no good. Especially for you…
takes your hand softly in his to let you know you are not alone.
Everyone can see what he just did, but he doesn’t care anymore. Even
Victoria stops her hate parade.
You give his surprisingly warm hand a slight squeeze. It’s more than a
lame “I appreciate that”. You don’t want to admit it, but you need him
right here, right now.
Little do you know he needs you as much as you need him. You keep
the bad thoughts and his doubts away. Nathan really tried to avoid you,
but something keeps pulling him towards you over and over again. He’s
like a moth drawn to the flame. You two smoked now and then together the last few days. It’s not really hanging out together, but he wished it would be more than that.
You snap Nate out of his thoughts as you let go of his hand. Relieved but still crying
you bury your face in his shirt. Max talked Kate out of taking her
life. It doesn’t matter it wasn’t you, her best and probably only
friend. Kate’s alive … for now.
wraps you up tightly in his arms. “It’s okay. It’s over”, he isn’t the
best at comforting, but at least he tries. And suddenly Nate is the
colorful one of you two. The optimist hanging onto life. “Prescott! Into my office”, Principle Wells disturbs your little moment. Nathan’s blue eyes meet your concerned [E/C] ones.
“You are in trouble, right?”,
you can see it clearly in them. His doubts, his panic, his bad
conscious. He releases you to follow Well’s order, “I’m never in
trouble.” Oh, he is. And now you are pulled apart at the seams. Do you want your
old life, which is Kate coming down from the roof, or your new life,
which is Nathan who transformed from the villain to your shining knight
Your heart is torn so badly. Kate said all along he isn’t good for you. But what are you supposed to do?!
Sighing you inhale the smoke like your life depends on it and somehow it does right now. You let fill up your lungs with the grey cloud, while your mind gets knocked out by the drug. You are not allowed to smoke in the dorms, but who cares?
light knock catches you off guard. For a second you hope it’s Kate even
if a part of you know it can’t be your friend. She is in a hospital
hopefully getting better so she can leave soon. As
you make your way towards the door you give the still white canvas a
kick. Of course your creativity and inspiration leave you on your own
when you need them most to distract your sick mind. That’s it. Your own personal chaos.
“Prescott”, you exclaim surprised. “Hey… uh… I just wanted to check on you”, he gives you a slight smile you have never seen before on him. You can tell it’s honest. Nathan cares about you probably more he wants to admit.
I guess. Thanks for asking”, you step aside so he can come in. Nate
accepts your offer and looks around taking in every little detail that tells him more about you. “Are you in trouble?”, you won’t beat around the bushes anymore. You want answers. Now. Nathan
shrugs as he steps over the canvas that still lies untouched on the
floor. “Tell me the truth”, you grab his hand to get his full attention,
“I can see it in your eyes.”
Nathan escapes your grip roughly, “Do not analyze me! … Please.” He starts yelling, but ends up whispering the last word in a plead. An ice cold silence appears for a few moments. You pushed him to the limit what the people around him always do. It shows you how close to the edge he is.
Kate … alright?”, he tries desperately to keep going the conversation.
Nathan wants to make sure he didn’t destroy everything between you two.
“Uh… I don’t know. She didn’t want to see me, but she is alive. That
matters, right?”, you can’t fool him with your faked smile. Nathan
already can tell the difference between them. Both of you know Kate
rejected you because of him.
pure sadness in your eyes kills him inside. That’s more torturing than
his doubts screaming at him in his head in this moment.
are no good for her. You are poison. You kill everything around you.
Your touch is toxic. You will drag her with you into the darkness. You know that…
Nathan wraps you up in his arms as a single tear escapes your eye. You cling onto him for your dear life. To hold you in his arms feels so wrong and right at the same time. These unknown feelings you trigger in his chest are addictive. He doesn’t want to live without them anymore and still…
You lied. You lied all of your life and you dragging an innocent person with you. You will go down with your mask of lies. First suspended, then jail and death will be your last station. You can’t hide this side of yours forever. [Y/N] will find it and leave you because you are truly a monster.
“Nathan?”, you snap him out of his pretty dark thoughts again. The way your [E/C] eyes look into his soul makes him feel vulnerable. It’s almost like you can see into his soul. To your surprise he leans forwards to press a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry”, Nate means every word. “There is no need to apologize”, you reply slightly smiling. Oh, there is. You just don’t know it yet.
Nathan presses his lips into a thin line as you turn around to get your cigarette from the ashtray. It’s for sure he can’t go on like this forever. One day he is going to explode and spill every single secret he keeps. But for now he just wants to enjoy the time you two have left.
“I haven’t eaten in a while. Want to go the Two Wales Diner?”, you suggest wanting to get out of the dormitory for a bit. Your room seems like a prison cell showing every single memory you want to forget right now. “Yes… Uh… Here”, Nate
puts his red jacket over your shoulders. You mumble a shy “Thank you”
as he takes your hand in his like it always belonged there.
A few of the students stop for a second and stare at you two walking through the hallways holding hands. Nathan isn’t really the person of showing his feelings openly, but with you it’s different. He wants you to be part of his life and he wants everyone to know that. Your presence by his side pushes his self-esteem so extremely. Nate never felt that perfectly fine before without taking his meds.
“What a beautiful sight! Mrs. [L/N] and Mr. Prescott together”, both of you stop immediately. Of course you recognize the voice of your teacher Mr. Jefferson. Nathan’s whole body stiffens and he gives your hand almost a painfully squeeze.
“I need to speak with you, Mr. Prescott. Your last work was … not what I expected of you”, Jefferson doesn’t wait for an answer and walks a few steps away. There is an unspoken order Nathan should follow him. “Go to your dorm and stay in there”, he avoids to look into your eyes. You would see sheer panic in them. You don’t question his plead because of his shaking voice. Something is up and he doesn’t want to involve you.
Without looking back over his shoulder Nathan catches up to Mr. Jefferson. His happiness turned into a cold fist of panic clenching his heart together in its iron grip. “So, [Y/N]. I never thought of her to be our next guest in the Dark Room”, Mark takes his glasses of to clean them.
“No! Please!”, Nate exclaims a bit too loud for Jefferson’s taste. The boy can feel how he traps himself in the net of his teacher. “Oh, you like her. That’s surprising me now”, Mark enjoys the fear in his widened blue eyes. Another mistake on Nathan’s list. “The Vortex Club plans a party. I want to see both of you there. You know the routine”, Jefferson orders without a trace of mercy and usually he gets what he want.
“Have a good day, Nathan”, Mr. Jefferson leaves pleased with the outcome of this conversation. Nate feels how his mind completely shuts down as he realizes what he has done to you. He made the only person that genuinely cares for him to Mark’s prey. You are in serious danger.
That’s your fault. You are no good for her.
start to pool in his eyes as he runs his fingers through his hair. No
matter how he hard he thinks there is only one way to keep you safe. It’s going to rip him apart. It will turn his heart to stone, but it needs to be done.
“I’m sorry”, a single tear runs over his cheek.
It costs all your courage to raise your shaking arm. The light knock on the door keeps repeating in your head. There is an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Panic? Maybe. You haven’t heard from Nathan for hours since he sent you back to your dorm. And by now your heart tries to break through your ribcage to be free for the first time.
After an eternity Nate opens the door finally to reveal the mess he has become. His room is completely dark. All the blinds are closed, while the air is smoky. “[Y/N] …”, there is so much desire in his tired voice, but his once more dead blue eyes say something different. His mind is made up, but his body declines his decision. Now he wages a fight behind his mask.
“Is… everything okay? I was waiting for you and … I’m concerned. No, that’s not true. I’m scared”, you stumble over your own words. Nathan almost takes a step forward to wrap you up in his arms, but only releases a loud sigh.
“Okay, there is something I need to tell you. I
was only playing with you. Hayden and me had a bet running. I couldn’t
know you would fall for me and clinging on me like your life depends on
it. I have a reputation to keep so could you just stay away from me? It’s
like one of your stupid colorful pictures. I was red. You are blue.
Together we are purple. And know what? I hate fucking purple”, every word he says rips your heart slowly apart. Piece by piece.
Against your sake tears escape your eyes. You don’t want to cry in front of him like a lovesick fool, but your body betrays you. “Nathan”, between the rushed breaths you manage to say his name hoping to change his mind. “Don’t make a scene now, [L/N]”, you can’t see how he clenches his hands into fists. Oh, how lovely it would be to punch himself right now.
“Nathan”, you try your luck again not knowing how close you are to tearing through his walls. “Leave. It’s better for you”, with that Nate closes the door. The
wood isn’t thick enough so he can hear you crying for a few moments.
That’s probably the most heartbreaking sound he has ever heard.
rests his forehead against the cold door. Why can’t he do one single
thing in his life right? With you he had everything and now he is on his
own again. His only partner by his side is his bad conscious. He hurt himself with hurting you so badly.
“Nathan? You forgot your jacket on the ground”, Hayden knocks for a moment, but gives up easily as Nate doesn’t answer. You left it behind like he did it with you. He doesn’t want to get his jacket back, which has your scent on it probably. Suddenly all his walls break and Nathan curls up in a ball on the floor to cry his eyes out.
Behind the blinds occurs the eclipse telling about the danger that comes towards Arcadia Bay.
“I’m so ready for the End of the World Party tonight. I can’t even decide what I should wear”, Victoria exclaims excited as she texts someone else at the same time. Nathan only nods his head hoping it would be enough answer for her. It’s no secret how heartbroken he is. The last few days he just hid himself in his room.
He is tired of keeping up his mask of lies. The sadness he bears in his heart drags him down. Even farther he ever was before. “Come on, Nate. You are no fun at all”, Vic notices his lack of attention. He wants to reply something as his mind shuts completely down.
There you are chasing down a blue butterfly with your camera in your hands. A slight smile appears on his lips taking in every move you make. He notices that you are not as colorful as usual. A cloud of sadness floats around you. It’s clearly to see you are heartbroken too.
“Can you believe it? [Y/N] almost begged that she can come to the Vortex party without being a member. So pathetic”, Victoria rolls her eyes confidently. Nathan’s smile fades away immediately, “What?! When?!” He grabs Vic’s arm desperate for the information.
“Chill down, Nate. She asked me yesterday, but I said no. Who does [Y/N] think she is?”, she replies escaping his iron grip. “But you are in, right?” The world around him starts to spin. His
mind races and is blank at the same time. You are still in danger even
if he stays away from you. Jefferson took a liking in you. He will do
everything it takes to get what he wants.
“[Y/N] is not allowed on this party, okay? Tell everyone so she really has no chance to come. I don’t want to see her there”, panic rushes through his veins. Finally,
Victoria lays her phone aside to look at him, “I know you two had
something for a very short time – just to mention, but isn’t that a bit
too dramatic? … Oh man, she really broke your heart.”
Nathan gets up from his spot on one of the picnic tables to pace around like a wild animal. “No, I fucked up this time. It’s my fault.” Vic furrows her eyebrows confused. He never admitted one of his mistakes so why now?
“You are acting really weird, Nathan”, she says, but doesn’t get a reaction from him. “I need to sort a few things out. I’m back for the party”, Nathan runs towards his car without a goodbye. Victoria crosses her arms fuming he cares more about you than for her. She is still his best friend after the two went through together.
“Hey, [L/N]! Still want to go to the Vortex party?”
“God, I’m so sorry”, Nathan whispers to himself, while running his fingers through his hair nonstop. He
tried everything he can think of to keep Jefferson away from you. He
begged, offered money from his parents, threaten to go to the police.
“Everybody hates me. Everybody … even [Y/N]”, he made a lot of mistakes but pushing you away was the worst of them. Somehow
Nate always managed to keep his broken world up, but now it’s crashing
into thousand tiny pieces, which are burying him underneath them.
You are worthless. Are you finally accepting it? Took you long enough, Prescott.
“Shut up! Shut up! … I know, don’t rub salt in my wounds. My life is hell”, Nathan tries to block out the voices in his head, but they keep screaming at him. This will never end. He is a prisoner of his own mind. The other guests of the Diner don’t even pay attention to the broken boy. Exactly like his whole life was.
“She is better off without me”, is he trying to convince himself or the voices in his head? Nate closes his eyes wishing himself far away from his problems. “Nathan! You are out of your mind again!”, Victoria snaps him out of his thoughts as she sits down on the other side of the table. “The party is in half an hour. You have to be fit for that!”
For a second he stares at her with his blue eyes, “For getting high I don’t need to be fit. Could you leave me alone?” He buries his face in his hands. “But the Vortex Club got a special guest! You don’t want to have a tripping mind in front of [Y/N]?”
Nathan lowers his hands in slow motion to look at Victoria, “What did you just say?” Maybe his mind plays a prank on him. Maybe all of this is just a super twisted dream. “You are going to clear things out with
[Y/N]. Maybe after one or two drinks”, Vic explains her plan to bring
you two back together. It’s not her intention to see Nate or you happy.
“No! She is not coming! I told you!”, anger washes over him as he slams his fist on the table. Victoria isn’t frightened of him anymore when he does this. “Calm down. She
probably is not going to show up anyway. That little brat had a nice
conversation with Mr. Jefferson. He is worried about her and then they took a walk together”, Nate can see the jealousy in Vic’s eyes. Little does she know what monster Jefferson is. A monster on its hunt.
a further word Nathan runs out of the Diner directly towards his car.
He plants himself behind the steering wheel as he searches through his
pockets for his phone. Just in case he got your number if something like
A mixture of panic, adrenaline and energy rushes through his veins. It keeps his hands from shaking too much. “[Y/N] here. I can’t answer right now. Leave a message or try it again later. Thanks!” Mumbling a ton of curse words Nate throws his phone on the passengers seat.
car’s engine comes a live with a roar. Not caring about the traffic
rules Nathan drives like a maniac back to the Blackwell Academy. A lot
of students make their way towards the swimming hall where the party is located. He snaps his phone in case you call back before he gets out of his car to look for you. “Nate! The party started already!”, Taylor informs him smiling.
What if Jefferson got her already?!
pushes himself to run as fast as possible to the hall. His heart stops
for a second. How is he supposed to find you in the chaos of the party?!
It’s too full of people and too dark to recognize a single familiar
face in a rushed manner.
boxes his way through the crowd as someone puts his hand on his
shoulder. “Nathan! Good you are here!”, Hayden yells over the loud
music. “Have you seen [Y/N]?!”, his panic grows every second he doesn’t
know if you are safe. The already high boy shakes his head.
the limit he runs his fingers through his hair. Maybe someone else saw
you. But the most people are way too wasted to recognize even their own parents. Suddenly a light beam shows Jefferson in the crowd of celebrating teenagers.
Nathan knows he’s after him since he declined to drug you for the Dark Room. But as long he is on the party you are still out of his reach. Now it’s a game on time. Who finds you first?
Nate turns back to run to the Prescott Dormitory. You might be there safe in your room, where Jefferson never can’t get
you. He’s angry at himself for putting you in such great danger.
Breathless he sprints over the campus. Nathan pushes open the doors to
the dormitory just to see Max, Chloe and Warren coming directly towards him.
There is not time to deal with them. With his head down Nate tries to get past them. Since he beat Warren up on the parking lot, the boy craves his revenge. “Care to explain, Nathan?”, Max holds out something. “I got no time for that yet”, he replies already caring on with his plan, “Wait! Where you in my room?!”
Nathan can take a step closer, Warren headbutts him roughly. Nate tries
to grab his gun to scare them way. Unfortunately, Warren is faster than
him and kicks the gun out of his hand. “You like hurting people, huh?
Like Max! Like Kate! Like me! Like [Y/N]!”, Warren kicks and beats
“Stop! Please!”, he doesn’t beg for him. Nate thinks he deserves the pain for all the mistakes
he has done, but your time is running out. Your life on the edge of
danger and it lies in his hands to safe you from Jefferson.
“No!”, the voice sounds familiar, but through the curtain of pain he can’t connect it to a face. The beating stops finally. A hand strokes
his bruised cheek softly as he opens his eyes slowly. “Nathan”, you
wipe the blood from his nose away with the sleeve of your shirt, “Oh my
god! Are you alright?”
A single tear drops from your eye on his cheek, while he takes your hand in his. “Yes, now is everything alright”, relief washes
over him that you are safe … for a while at least. “Come on, we are
going to take care of your face. That must hurt”, with your help Nathan
gets up from the ground. The pain hits him hard, but it’s not priority
Nate leans against the wall to take in how much you still care for him even after what he did to you. “We
have no time for this. There is so much I have to tell you, but first
of all… I love you, [Y/N]. I truly love you and I’m so sorry that I
hurt you. I will explain you everything when we get away from here.
It’s not safe. I know you probably hate me, but do you trust me?”, his thumb strokes your knuckles softly.
hesitating you wrap him up in your arms, “I never could hate you,
Nathan. I love and trust you, but you have to tell me what’s going on.”
Before he can say a word, the doors of the Prescott Dormitory gets
pushed open once again.
“We had a plan, Prescott”, Jefferson shakes his head disappointed. Nate takes your hand in his to drag you
along the hallway. “Nathan! You know, you can’t run. I will find you!”,
Mark yells after you two preparing his syringe. He will hunt both of
you down if it’s necessary.
running no matter what happens!”, of course you are confused, but you
trust him without a doubt. You remember the way you two run. It’s the
way directly to the back door of Blackwell. He pushes you firstly out of
the door, while he throws a glance over his shoulder. No trace of
Jefferson yet, but he won’t give up easily.
Now you drag Nathan with you towards the parking lot, where both of your cars wait. “There is no way out of this!”, Mark appears out of nowhere and
is already too close for your taste. You close the door of your old
truck right in time. Jefferson hits his fist against the glass of your
window as you start the engine with shaking hands.
And with that you two are out of his reach. Your heart keeps beating hard
against your ribcage. You don’t know where you are driving as long as
it far away from Mark Jefferson. Breathlessly Nathan puts his hand on
yours. In what fucking chaos you just rushed into?
can’t go back, right? So where are we going?”, you break the
uncomfortable silence, but your eyes are glued to the street. “A motel
for now, I guess. Then we will think about our next steps. I … I have to
warn Max. She was onto me and Jefferson. She is probably in danger”,
Nate takes out his phone.
“Max, it’s Nathan. I just want to say I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt Kate or Rachel or … I didn’t want to hurt anybody … Everybody used me! Mr. Jefferson was coming for me. I hope all of this shit is over soon…. Watch out, Max. He wants to hurt you next so hurry… Sorry, I’m so sorry”, Nathan tears up between his confession and still you feel the same for him.
You give his hand a slight squeeze to show him he hasn’t to go through
this on his own. The rest of the drive you two sit in silence trying to
process this hell of a day. You don’t stop at the first motel in the
case Jefferson is still hunting the two of you.
rain cools down your racing mind as you get out of your old truck. “Do
we have even money to pay for a room?”, Nathan grabs your hand softly.
It’s like he needs to make sure you are not going to leave him. “I’ve
got a credit card. Don’t worry”, he gets out his wallet, while you two
make your way towards the motel.
“Oh, what brings two young people like you out here?”, the old granny behind the check in wants to know. She doesn’t wear glasses so you guess she can’t see Nate’s beaten up face clearly.
Nathan puts his credit card on the table, “One room… please.” She furrows her eyebrows due to her unanswered question. “We are on a road trip”, you lie to hide the fact you two are on the run and go from your past.
“Oh, in Arcadia Bay is a terrible storm right now. Good, you are here now”,
the granny searches for the key for your room. Nathan and you exchange a
quick glance. “Have a good night, sweeties!” You follow Nate closely to
fall into his arms after you closed the door behind you. Suddenly your
mind realizes what the last few hours happened and what consequences are
I want the truth. I don’t care how terrible it is. I want to hear every
detail, Nathan”, you mumble into his shirt close to cry your eyes out. He sits down on the big bed and pats the place next to him. “It’s a long story…”
tells you the whole story of how this chaos started. He spills all of
his secrets. All of his mistakes. All of the trouble he caused. He lines
up every flaw of his. He can be honest for the first time in forever.
“I fucked everything up what I can fuck up. I’m a monster. I’m sorry, [Y/N]”, for a monster he apologizes
a lot. You run your fingers through his hair, while his tears wet your
jeans. Nathan is curled up as a ball on your lap tearing up now and then during his story.
you are ripped at the edges like a lot of people, but you are still a
masterpiece. For me you are perfect and not even close to a monster”,
you comfort him. Nate
sits up to face you properly with his red and puffy eyes, “But you
can’t forgive me, right? I can understand. I also hate myself like the
rest of the world does.”
take his face in your hands softly so you wouldn’t hurt him, “I forgive
you, but you have to forgive yourself. Yes, I hate what you have done,
but I could never hate you. You would have needed more support.” With
your thumb you wipe a single tear from his cheek.
closes the gap between you two to press his lips on yours. A whole
firework of emotions gets triggered in your chest as you start to kiss
him back. He leans his forehead against yours after you two break apart.
“Why didn’t I find you earlier? Everything could have been
a word you pull him with you to lie down on the bed. It was a hell of a
day and both of you deserve some sleep. Nate buries his face in the
crook of your neck, while his arm is draped over your waist to keep you as close as possible. The fear of losing you will never leave him alone. The white ceiling stares back at you as you draw circles on Nathan’s arm. It takes a long time for him to relax and then to fall asleep finally. It’s over for now. You allow yourself to close your eyes.
open your eyes as you release a grey cloud of smoke. Absently you wipe
away the ash, which is falling on your knee from the cigarette that
dangles dangerously between your lips.
loud noise bring you back into the reality. It sounded just like a gun
shot, but you are not quite sure. Could also be firecrackers in the bathroom once again. Nathan Prescott is famous for this old and really annoying prank.
silence wraps you up in its calmness, while your thoughts dance around
in your head. The Marijuana keeps the bad ones low. Time seems to stop
for a while as the sun starts to hide itself behind the trees.
your buzzing phone snaps you out of your daydream. A bit pissed that
you got disturbed once again you answer the phone without looking who
calls you. “[Y/N], reporting for duty”, is the first thing that comes to
your bedazzled mind from the Marijuana. “[Y/N]! Didn’t you hear the sirens?! Come to the front door!”, Kate exclaims without a greeting.
Sighing you make your way to the said spot in front of the Blackwell Academy. The burning end of your cigarette lights
once more as you take a deep inhale of smoke. A crowd formed in front
of the doors, which surprised you a bit. What did you miss?
“Nathan shot someone in the girls bathroom”, you
hear the teenagers whisper around you as you push your way towards
Kate. “I knew something like that would happen one day.” - “He’s a bad
one.” - “Now his father can’t help him anymore.” - “Poor little rich kid getting what he deserves.”
mumbling dies down immediately when the doors get pushed open. Two
police officer form a path in the crowd for the third officer who
escorts a handcuffed Nathan Prescott. On the top of the stairs stands Principle Wells observing the scene with a sad expression on his face.
takes your hand in hers as she hides her face in your shoulder. She
seems relieved that he got arrested. The bullying is going to stop now
probably. Softly you rub circles on her back to comfort her and let her
know she isn’t alone.
Nathan’s head hangs low and his shoulders slump
forward. It’s like the weight of the entire earth is lying on them. He
probably needs also some comfort like Kate, but no one is going to do
that. Nate is on his own once again.
He raises his head only for a few seconds. Your
[E/C] eyes meet his clear blue but dead ones. There is no trace that
these orbs are actually alive. No color. No feelings. Apparently Nate
accepted his fate already. He surrendered to the demons around him.
Everything inside of him died.
Your orbs are alive and full of color. But that’s not what hypnotizes Nathan. He can see sympathy in them. No
disgust, no arrogance, no amusement. Honest and true sympathy for him.
Nate could get lost in them, but he will never get a chance.
In a crowd of people who hate him, he finds you. Way too late.
officer pushes his forward so he walks a bit faster to the police car.
All the people who pointed their fingers at Kate for this terrible video
of her, are now doing the same thing with him. You don’t know a lot of
his backstory, but he doesn’t deserve this. Being pushed by others
destroys a person piece by piece. It’s a terrible slow death.
You feel bad for him even after all the thing he has done. Nathan will never know colors.
He will die with those dead blue eyes…
few soft kisses wake you up from your almost comatose and dreamless
sleep. “I know you are awake”, Nathan comments your attempts to get five
more minutes of sleep amused. In surrender you open your eyes to see
him looking down at you, while a slight smirk rests on his lips. His
alive and colorful blue eyes are beautiful compared to his dead ones when you two met.
You two have nothing left except for the clothes you are wearing and his father’s credit card, whish isn’t unlimited.
There is no place you have to be. No plan to follow. Nathan is
completely free for the first time in his life. To be with a person who
loves him unconditionally is all what he needed to feel alive again.
You are beautiful”, Nate presses a kiss onto your forehead matching to
his lovely words. You notice how close you two are. He held you tight
through the entire night. Maybe he was afraid to wake up without you by
his side like this is just a beautiful but limited dream.
“Sweeties! I made breakfast”, the old granny informs you through the still closed door. Nate gets up from the bed you two share mumbling
something about taming his hair. You roll over to lie on his warm side.
Your whole life got turned over, but you couldn’t be happier right now.
handsome”, you compliment his wet brown hair that clings onto his
forehead. How did both of you get so lucky? Nathan leans down to capture
your lips into a kiss full of desire. “You are dripping”, you push him
softly away from you, “I don’t need a shower yet.”
he grabs your hand in his hand to pull you out of the bed. You get his
hint and follow his wish. “I’m starving. I hope the old granny can
cook”, Nate pulls you as close as possible towards him. “Let’s find out”, you literally can feel his excitement of his new life. What will bring you the new day?
“Sweeties! I’m so happy you two are here. The storm in Arcadia Bay was terrible. It destroyed half of the town and even killed a few people”, the granny greets you as she puts two plates with scrambled eggs down on an empty table.
“Thanks”, you mumble suddenly not so happy anymore. People died. Maybe
friends of you and you weren’t there. Your hometown destroyed. You
should call your parents, but what are you going to say to them? You run
away with a murderer and don’t plan to come back?!
“We need to think of a plan”, you place your hand on Nathan’s to get his full attention. “Do
we? Can’t we just drive until we have enough?”, he replies stuffing the
eggs into his mouth. For a second you think about his suggestion. “I
were never outside of Arcadia Bay”, you just never had time or money to
let this be our plan … if you want”, Nathan loves his new freedom, but
he loves you more so he would give it up for you. If it’s your wish to
go back, Nate will follow you without a doubt. And you know that, but
it’s actually not what your heart desires.
we are going on an adventure”, you agree enjoying his rare smile.
“Slept well, sweeties?”, granny joins the conversation with two cups of coffer right in time. “Have never slept better in my life”, you admit. Nate raises just a thumbs up, because he’s busy eating.
That’s your new life. He is your new life. The clearly broken Nathan Joshua Prescott with the former dead blue eyes.