so thank you for talking to me all that time ago

On April 24th, 2014, I wrote my suicide note and planned it for April 27th, 2014.

I wanted to wait a few days because on April 25th, I was meeting All Time Low.

When I walked up to meet Jack, he immediately hugged me and I began to cry while muttering “thank you for saving my life” since All Time Low for me through some hard times a few years ago. Then I told him about some previous suicide attempts. He just looked me in the eye and said “Aw, don’t do that. Come hang out with us instead.” I then hugged and talked to the rest of the band (they were all so sweet!) and got in line for the show later that night.

But in that moment, when Jack told me not to kill myself, I knew I couldn’t do it. Someone who doesn’t even know my name just told me not to do it. I went home the next day and burned the note and decided suicide wasn’t an option. It never was and it never will be.

Now here I am, a year later, and I’m still alive. I’m not happy, but I’m alive. Thanks to the words of Jack Barakat. Someone who had no idea I existed but told me not to kill myself anyways. I will forever be grateful to this band.

anonymous asked:



(For everyone who’s confused, here is the post I made a long time ago about the invisible bench endcards)

Your metaphor is so apt, thank you (from violinic’s post):

There’s the bags, the two Seirin ones together in the middle and then Touou and Yousen leaning on them from either side. All of them zipped and upright.

There is a single basketball, in pride of place between the four of them. The positioning of the characters means that they are in a circle around the ball, vaguely facing it.

Kagami and Aomine are looking at each other, and so are Himuro and Kuroko. Aomine reaches for the burger Kagami is trying to keep away - rejection, Himuro is handing Kuroko a milkshake - acceptance. Conflict vs. accord.

Lastly and most importantly, the touching. In the earlier endcards, the touching was either through a medium (ball or necklace), one-sided (Aomine to Kuroko), or just didn’t happen (the second Kuroko and Kagami). But here, the touching is both given and accepted. Kagami might be rejecting Aomine’s claim on the burger, but he reaches out his own arm to press against Aomine’s. Aomine leans on Kuroko’s shoulders, who willingly supports him. Himuro is passing Kuroko a milkshake, which Kuroko accepts. Only Himuro and Kagami are separate, not closing the loop, but even here Kagami is picking out the pickles in the burger - signifying the connection between him and Himuro (and the rings of course, though we can’t see Himuro’s).

In conclusion, SYMBOLISM (again). This is such a great end to the invisible bench series :’)))


Thank you so much for your kindness on my post yesterday. I’ve been blogging for a hot minute and sometimes the hardest posts to write and put out in the world are when you make yourself the most vulnerable. It’s been my experience that those posts however get the most response. And it’s always so encouraging. Community is so important.

I took a Time Management and Organization class for work yesterday afternoon and I thought like it was going to be a class that taught me how to better organize my desk but it was so much different than that. She started the class talking about success and how it’s about moving forward. About how life if in front of you. It’s not about yesterday or what happened a few hours ago but focusing on what’s happening now. She also emphasized the power of self talk and said to be careful what you think about because what you think constantly creates your world. It was just all the words I needed to hear and not about filing my papers better which is what I expected. There were a lot of other things I learned so it was just a great afternoon for me.

I went to the fancy downtown gym last night and spent 20 minutes on the stair machine. In the last 5 minutes I had to pause and catch my breath but I was determined to meet my goal. I still can’t look anywhere but down at my feet but it was a dripping sweat good type of workout I appreciated. I ended my workout with a mile on the treadmill and I was reminded that I find it impossible to listen to music while I workout and not lip sync to it.

After the stressful week or so I had I am very thankful for the good day I had yesterday. I’m just going to keep moving forward.


🎶 goin’ out tonight, changes into something red… 🎶

Sooo…I was tagged like a really long time ago my modest-cant-manage-this for the 20 beautiful women thing or whatever it’s called and I was so happy so thank you!! :)) But I just never got around to it but then I found these selfies from a little bit ago and wanted an excuse to share them :))  (Pls ignore the fact that my boobs look better than my face)

And I want to see a bunch of other peoples selfies:D So I’m gonna tag some people I’ve talked to and some people I haven’t really talked to bc I see you on my dash and activity all the time and I wanna get to know you :) Soo, iwanttofallinlovewithafaerie louisandharryequalslarry ethicalobstinacy vanlr  ifihadknees investigate-wellington viplourry girlwiththefeels loufondshazza  kingdinkelmen banana-sam blualua abstractlouis dauntlouis thet0mm0way  jetpackstyles bigassbasilisk stylinspouse harrystylesorharrypotter harlotbabyharry, if you want to do this, please do! :)

I would have never imagined that I would make it this far, especially with a character so few people really know. This is a shout-out to all the people who have stuck with me thus far, especially those that have been around since the big shit-hit-the-fan incident not too long ago. Though I digress, most of you here probably don’t know about it– haha!

I’ve never been really good at any of this, so I’m just going to cut to the chase– here’s a list of all the people I love dearly! If you’re not on here, please don’t feel ashamed! All of you have a very special place in my heart, whether it’s stated publicly or not.

amittendimens | armedwithaflashlight | ashenmity | beyondreflection | brideofsparda | brimminghateequitasx | etlxcidum | fatamoirai | honorificus | huntedtwice | iforiaetxrisi | inverseflame | libxrtatis | mafiaheir | masochistyk | nativesque | photondebugger | raxonhnhaketon | rexncarnation | riftereruvikology | schutzxn | secundusmisit | smokesource / sonofmohan | starofzanarkand | teslagravity | tunicisms | verrouillias | viigere | vindictivevirus | void-earth | willnotforgive | xsyrennex

( art credit )

The 17th

Today four months ago, I lost someone that was so precious to me. Someone I haven’t had the chance to meet yet. Today I went to my special place, somewhere I went to a lot during my difficult time. I sat and talked to my baby. I’m so thankful for everything, losing him/her only made me stronger. I’m a new Felicia now, I now appreciate life and all my flaws. The saddest thing in life and the bad memories only makes you stronger in the future 💕


Someone asked for this a while ago so here it is, my Masterlist.

Erik Durm:
What a catch
Small talk
Cry on my shoulder
The best day

Julian Draxler:
Beautiful Juliet
Hawaiian Sea

Manuel Neuer:
Thanks for the memories

Marco Reus: 
Buying Department
Die Young
Sparks Fly
Slippin’ through my fingers all the time
Our little boy
The lucky one
The last time
You’re mine
Great footballer to be
Wedding with a little football trouble :
Part 1, 2, 3

Martin Odegaard:
Somewhere between bubble gum and lip-balm 

Matthias Ginter:
The problems of goobyes

Sven Bender:
I’ll take care of you my baby-boy

Yann Sommer:

Requests are open! Would be cool if you can help me with this! And would love to read your requests!

anonymous asked:

Idk if you follow supernaturalapocalypse, but I was wondering if you could look through her blog and see the headcanons the anon wrote about "see you again" as Cas standing over Dean's grave, then they have a daughter named Mary who talks to Dean ;-; If you ever wanted to write about that, i'd love to read it

I do follow her actually! I love her blog! And I had seen this post you were referring to and OH MY GOD ITS SO SAD/BEAUTIFUL/TRAGIC

I’m such a giant pussy, but permanent MCD just makes me wither and die inside, so if I did it, even as a ficlet, there would probably be happy reunion epilogue because I just can’t *sobs violently*

But I actually do love this idea and I think it’s one of the most well done AU gifsets I’ve ever seen! I’m so honored/shocked that you would think I’m talented enough to take on something like that and I have it saved for reference in case I’m ever in the mood to cry for approximately the full three days it would take me to write it into a ficlet (which, hey, it happens!)

HEY TAYLOR! Amy talking, it’s Lucie’s birthday tomorrow(the one on the right) and I was wondering if you could wish her a happy birthday. We’ve been best friends for 4 years now and we became friends all that time ago because of your music and I can never thank you enough. You always talk about how you have a good group of supportive girls around you, Lucie is that supportive girl to me, she always helps me out and knows how to make me laugh. She is a constant positive energy in my life and I love her a lot. I want to try and make her birthday as special as possible because Lucie is so special to me and it would mean so much if you were to wish her a happy birthday!
Lucie and I went to see you on the Red Tour in London and it was the best night of our lives, unfortunately we are unable to see you together this year because when you are in London, I am in Singapore on holiday! The only show we would have been able to go to was the Glasgow show but we sadly didn’t manage to get tickets (I cried).

Thank you Taylor for bringing my best friend into my life, it means so much to me. We both love you loads!

finals are killing me, but i’ll be alright in a few days

Hi, guys! So, I know that I’ve been a little off the grid lately, but my finals are starting tomorrow, so I’ve been trying to finish up my school stuff and study and get some sleep at night. I’m on mobile sometimes, but this is the first time that I’ve been on for this long in a while. BUT they’ll be over by next Wednesday, so then I’ll be back to writing and posting new fics!

I also want to thank you guys for everything! I hit 1k followers a few days ago, and whoa, it’s blowing my mind. You guys are the best. (Hi, to all my new sweethearts, I love you too)

Even though I am busy, you can still contact me if you need to talk, say hi, or tell me something funny. I usually check mobile once a day at least, so I’ll see it eventually. And good luck to the rest of you guys taking finals! I hope everything goes well!

And here’s some fic recs to keep you guys entertained for a while. These are my absolute favorite fics ever:

  1. Just Dating | It’s this multi-chap that Dan is working on based around the fake dating trope, and let me tell you that it’s great. And it’s Percabeth, so that’s all you need to know.
  2. Ways To Go | Percy likes music and Annabeth used to like painting and somewhere in between it all, there’s something. (Or, the one where Percy’s in a band. He makes Annabeth forget why she stopped painting in the first place.) AU.
  3. Falling For The Devil | Annabeth Chase is on track to enjoy her life outside her family’s spotlight when Percy Jackson, known crime lord, interferes. Now, stuck in the middle of a power struggle between husband and an opposing crime lord, she has to struggle to survive, and maybe make something of this life.

Also, here’s my multi-chap if you just want to read it:

  1. Minding Your Business | Annabeth thought she wasn’t going to make it much longer. These constant headaches were killing her. Percy was being oblivious, and really, Aphrodite? Was this whole thing necessary? Follow Annabeth as she goes on a quest to save the goddess of love from her kidnapper and tries to (literally) get Percy out of her mind. Annabeth-centric. Percabeth. Set after The Last Olympian.

Have a good day, sweethearts! I love you all, and swing by my ask box if you need anything!

Dear Anon...

A few days ago, I asked people to like a post if they had ever sent me an anon message. I was surprised by what I saw. 

There were several people I had never met before. Had they asked for help or had then been cheering me on? I hope they say hi off anon some day :)

There were friends I am very close to. Do they support me both in public and private or are there things they don’t feel comfortable sharing with me?

There is one anon that I want to talk directly to. A long time ago, we had a misunderstanding about something you said about my mom. You wrote me back later and apologized so sincerely. I want you to know I now see how wrong I was to have reacted the way I did. I hope you see this and I hope you can forgive me.

For all my anons - thank you. Thank you for trusting me with your questions. Thank you for your support. Thanks for being a big part of my tumblr experience. 

anonymous asked:

hi there, im the anon from a couple days ago who asked if you were straight. you don't have to answer this but I wanted to say thanks for answering/sorry if I was being invasive. (I just asked bc the last time I saw a straight person discussing queer representation on spn they basically said that it was amazing and wonderful and groundbreaking so people should stop being ungrateful and criticizing it and as a queer person who thinks the show made some bad choices at times that rlly bothered me.)

I’ve made several posts on Tumblr that talk about me being bisexual so I didn’t mind the question. Almost all of the queer representation on Supernatural has been positive representation, I’m not sure what you’re referring to by bad choices but I’m interested in discussing it if you’d like to elaborate. The only one that really bothered me was in Criss Angel is a Douchebag 4.12 when they had Dean make a gagging face after being sent to gay dom as a joke, that was a horrible choice. 

We should be grateful for all of the positive, non-stereotypical representation we’ve had on the show because it is a good thing. Being grateful doesn’t mean we should accept it as being good enough and not ask for anything more, it just means we should appreciate it and congratulate the show on doing something good, which will encourage them to do more good. The main reason I want them to make Dean bisexual in canon is because they’ve done such a great job with other queer characters. 

When Ellen Degeneres came out on her sitcom people stopped watching it, that has caused the industry to say that you can’t have main characters come out in later seasons because audiences wont be accepting of it. Times have changed, attitudes have changed, and think audiences today are ready to accept it. The industry wont change their attitude until a show has a main character come out of the closet in a later season and the show remains successful. If the show tanks, for any reason, the industry is going to use that as further proof that it’s impossible. It’d be easy for a show to tank simply because they don’t handle it right, because they made the show all about queerness or turned the lead into a queer stereotype. This can only work if the show represents queerness as it really as, a part of someone but not the entirety of who they are. I think Supernatural could do that with Dean because they’ve already done it with several side characters. 

monicampanella asked:

are you willing to do luchino??

Talking about future Baccano got me all worked up about Luchino, so now’s as good a time as any to finally answer this ask. >.<

Keep reading

So about a week ago, I posted my follow forever for 200 followers and now I have 300 well 302, I honestly don’t know how I did, I expected like to only have 100 or less not to make it over, so I wanted to say a huge thank you too all of you for following me.

My Words are wrapped in Barbwire, My actions speak for what I can’t say

This is for the people who I talk to on a daily basis or some times who I genuinlely think are classed as my friends:

  • maci1x1 - I have known you well before I started roleplaying on tumblr, we met through facebook roleplay,  but you are literally one of my closest friend on here. You’re always willing to do 1x1′s with me.
  • lucisborgia - I know we don’t talk much but you still know how to make me smile.
  • lisbugrph - I literally love you, you have done several graphics for me and you never complained about it and it wasn’t like I was waiting ages for them either, it was like a few minutes and they were done and also thank you for my follow forever graphics.
  • beckyjacksonwrites - Okay, you are literally the nicest people I have met here and I am so grateful to have yo as a friend.
  • marroserps - Although we don’t talk much anymore, you were one of my first friends here and I am so glad that we became friends.
  • saintberryrps - I know we don’t talk much, and I know I have a reply on our st berry to do and I will get it done some time soon. I love your Jesse and I love our 1x1. 
  • humphreytalks - Okay, Where to start with you Holly, although we don’t talk as much as we used to, I still love you, you are amazing and a great friend and a great rph.

Cause I fall one step forward, To push you away,

Here is where I just mention the name of my fave blogs that I have either spoke kind of too or I am obsessed with their blogs:

tinkerberryrps, samchelrps, sammydevansrps, hemowrites, samevans-rps, qfabraywrites, fabraysrps, puckrps

I wish that I could listen to all the advice that I give away,

and the rest is everyone on my blogroll

As for Anicomics have this photo I posted on my Instagram a few days ago! It was honestly I nice experience over all but after it I was completely wasted. I did get to talk with a lot of people though and spend the whole time drawing commissions which I hope everyone that asked for them enjoyed!! Also, thank you to all the ones that came to the table and said hi or brought things!! ❤ 

For the ones who didn’t but would like to, next month I will be at Iberanime hopefully with new stuff!! On another note though I have not forgotten about the artist asks I was sent (surprisingly a lot) but I am too tired right now to answer and I will do so over the weekend! Thank you  ❤ ❤ ❤

sirscribbsalot I can say that today started off with a blast,…

Wanna talk about it? :U

Well, after posting that shippy “self indulgent” thing yesterday about Mul and Smokey, people asked for my nsf w blog [which i’m still stoked about, aaah]!! I imagine that it was a looong time ago, before I woke up, so idk, pfft

ANYWHO After giving out the URL to a few peeps, a friend of mine like??? Drew the two macking and I’m just here all covering my face and kicking my feet on the bed, it waS 6 IN THE MORNING

also another person drew them macking just a while ago, i’m ////

Aaaaah, also yesterday after talking about having a snapchat people added me on there, it was cooliooo

I don’t know a lot of things about life, but I know a true friendship when I see it. It doesn’t really matter if we are at the same place or a thousand miles apart, we are always together. So here is to my soul sister, todayisnevertoolatetobebrave.
Years ago I promised to myself that I’d never ever leave your side, so I’ll always be there even if you don’t want me to. Thank you for being my eyes when I couldn’t see and my head when I couldn’t think; thank you for reminding me that my feelings are important and that my dreams are valid; thank you for all the times when you talked to me just because, when nobody seemed to care about my existence. I love you, darling! Never change


So I went to two pubs I haven’t been to with my friend Evelyna tonight, i tried to use the eyelashes mascara and eyeliners for first time (thank you Evelyna for the make-ups uwu) and kind of failed but trying to put them on are fun. 

it was a fun night, and i came home to the bracelet I thought I lost two months ago right by the door on the top of shoe cabinet (!!!). Although it’d be better if tv in one of the pubs downtown have their tv volume turn down a little lmao. ( i know pubs are all like that but i wouldn’t complain if they weren’t playing hockey game only lol).