so relevant for my stress

Guys I came up with a new sport named "Lacrockey"


  •  Uniform
  1. Crocs (all team members must have the same colored croc) 
  2. Parkas (the parka must be the same color as the crocs) 
  3. Jean short shorts 
  4. Camo deep v-neck tee shirt 
  5. A bucket hat with the team name on it 
  6. A fresh flower tucked behind each player’s ear 

  • How the game is played
  1. There are seven players per team 
  2. Played on ice, in a typical Lacrockey game players are given a lacrosse stick and a wiffle ball their main objective is to get the ball into the opposing sides net (a basketball hoop that is closed off on the bottom). One goal is seven points each. 
  3. If given a penalty, a player must sit out in the Box of Shame (from any time varying from seven seconds to seventy minutes). 
  4. There are seven periods, each one twenty eight minutes long. 
  5. Coaches are allowed to call time outs, no time out can exceed seven seconds long. Each team is granted seventy time outs per game, but they are not allowed to call them within seven minutes of the previous time out. They also aren’t allowed to call one if one of their players got a penalty and seven minutes hadn’t passed since the penalty was given.
  6.  Players aren’t allowed to make eye contact with anyone on their team or on the apposing team. 
  7.  Players aren’t allowed to throw the ball with their eyes open. 
  8.  If a flower behind the ear falls of a player falls to the ground their team automatically loses the game, and they can’t adhere the flower to their head.
  9. If a player loses their crocs then the game goes into a sudden death match in which the opposing team has a chance to take seven shots on the goal with only the goalie defending it. The goalie must be wearing a funny hat on top of their bucket hat, the funny hat can not fall off or else they’ll go into double death match in which the opposing side gets fourteen shots and the goalie has to balance on one leg with the funny hat on, if they fall over or if the hat falls off again it’s an automatic forfeit from their team.
  10. Coaches can not speak to their players in English during time outs, and during time outs players can only respond in English.
  11. Nonverbal communication, including interpretative dance, is heavily encouraged.
  12. This is a no contact sport, if you touch someone at all it results in an automatic penalty.
  13. Players also can not go in the very center (within a circle with a ten foot diameter) of the ice because fuck you.
  14. If one team has a lead of more than seventy seven points a bunch of dogs are thrown on the ice so have to play both Lacrockey and fetch with the pups
  15. The dogs are also automatically team captain, what they say goes