so proud of the sidewalk

I kinda wish to go back to how I used to be before all this sadness clogged up my mind and shit went down like fuck man I’m so done with this

When I think of the person that I’d be if I hadn’t discovered tumblr a few years ago, I remember the person I was, and think about how different I’d be had I not been exposed to all of this.

I’d still have so much hate for myself, my body and my mind, still think I’d never be good enough. Now I’m working towards loving every inch of my body and appreciating what it and my brain can do.

I’d still be slightly uncomfortable with racist and rape jokes, but would probably still laugh along with everyone else and wouldn’t dream of calling anyone out for using slurs, or be able to explain why cunt is sexist and retarded is ablest.

I’d probably think it’s totally fine to wear bindis and native headdresses, and would probably get defensive if someone tried to tell me I was appropriating a people or culture.

I would still be fighting to find my worth in the hearts and wobbly words of drunk boys and cutting my wrists and thinking that being yelled at by men was justified because of my short shorts.

I’d probably still think pussy was synonymous with wimp and that ‘like a girl’ was an acceptable insult. I’d still think my legs were too fat and my stomach too wide, never remembering that it holds some of my most valuable organs.

I’d still be subconsciously squeezing myself into the smallest space to make room for men draping themselves all over the seats on the train and I would never dream of making them walk around me instead of moving out of their way on the sidewalk.

I’m so proud of how far I’ve come and I know that I have so much to owe to tumblr, and the community here.