Aight I’m playing it fast and loose with another transformation for you. First pic was October. It was the picture I was most proud of when I made my first transformation collage, so I would bring it back. Mostly it was to show my waist size and how that shrunk, which was where I’ve been noticing myself losing or gaining weight overall.
Well last night was the second picture. I have my arm at a different position so it may not be accurate, waist size differentiation. But can we all focus on another topic at hand here? And that is…dun dun dun…shoulders. Look at those broad beauties. I didn’t even know that they were widening. Sure, I measured myself and they got a little wider but also??? Its hard to measure yourself and I thought I messed it up.
It isn’t a big transformation, but I’m hella proud of it, and that makes it a big deal for me. Team boulder shoulders.
So it’s crazy to think that today is my 5 month anniversary of starting my WLJ. I can’t believe I haven’t given up yet. Other times before I always gave up before the first week was over, I shit you not! This is my year maaan. This is MY FCkIN YEAR!!!! It has not been easy, nope, not one bit. It’s actually been an emotionally hard time for me. Like my eyes are so used to seeing myself big, I can barely tell any change in my body most times. Like I can’t really see any diff from last month and this month, but other people can and it sucks. There are days I feel like I’m back to where I started. There are days when I feel I can’t go on anymore. Everyday is a struggle for me not to shove everything in my mouth. I cry sometimes and think to myself, maybe I’m just supposed to be big, maybe this is the way I’m supposed to be. But I know that isn’t true at all. I’m so much better than this, than treating my body this way. I feel like such shit for how badly I’ve treated my body over the past years. But feeling this way is only going to make it worse. And while it’s hard not to feel like that and to stay positive, I am trying, really trying to be positive. I can’t say I’m not proud, because I am. I am so so sooo proud of myself. Because I’m doing it, finally doing it after so many years of trying. It’s slow and it’s up and down and just a big mess, but it’s my mess, my beautiful mess and I will be proud every step of the way. I’m just so happy I’m not where I used to be!!!
Thank you, everyone, for 2000 followers! To celebrate, here is a collage of Oku faces that I’ve drawn over the past year or so. (I like this collage also because you can see me getting my confidence back art-wise. :333)
I know that not all of you are porn/spam blogs, because I’ve read all sorts of sweet tags and chatted with a lot of you and spammed appreciative tags on your posts. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have met so many cool and nice people on Tumblr! <3
Hello everyone!!! (^o^)/ as the pic says this is My First Follow Forever woohoo /self high five/ I reached a number of followers a few weeks ago that i never thought i’ll get when i first got this tumblr like 7 or 8 months ago and even tho i dont have that much time here i met some people that are now very dear to me and also followed some amazing blogs run by very cool persons so i’ll like to thanks each and everyone of you for making my tumblr experience something i’ll never forget :)
But first of all a big shout out to my awesome friend Christine who convinced me to do this! There’s a long message for you,read it and start crying because of my cheesiness
Bolded - Mutuals
Italics - Favorites
An asterisk (*) - There’s a little message for you ;)
And since my cutie twin Isabelle (186-6*) has a url with numbers she has her own special shout out too!! Also because she is too precious to me <3 back off everyone she is mine *gets ready to wushu the cr*p out of you all*
I also want to say thank you to my lovely followers for sticking with me,all your messages/coments always make me smile,you guys are the sweetest T^T
So this is all,damn this was hard (ι´Д｀)ﾉ Thank you for reading,i hope you all like this,i tried to make it look decent,i’m so sorry if i failed or made any mistakes OTL